Ever gotten hassled about not leaving a big enough tip?

[Palo Verde]

A pit thread in which a waitress chases a customer down to demand a tip made me think of this.

About 10 years ago I ordered Chinese food to be delivered. They told me the total on the phone, so when the delivery guy got there, I had already filled out a check with the total plus a few dollars for the tip.

He looked down at the total and said, "Say, how about adding to this tip? I mean this is nothing, how about a real tip?"

I was embarressed and flustered, but didn't give him any more money. I never ordered from that restaurant again.


In the original Pit thread, several servers chimed in saying that had done (or had witnessed) waiters confronting customers (with varying degrees of tact) about a small or non-existant tip.

Has this ever happened to you? How did you react?

[UrbanChic]

No, I've never been hassled about the amount I've left for a tip.

Had what you described in the OP happened to me, I would have taken the check back while apologizing and gave him another one for the exact amount of the order.

I swear, the unmitigated gall of some people...

[Casey1505]

I used to frequent a bar with a retired NYC Transit cop as the bartender. Real nice guy, but if you pissed him off (took too long to order, changed your order midway through, etc) he got ornery. Once, I was at the corner of the bar, and watched this guy order a round for his friends (6-8 drinks all together). His bill was maybe $29.50 or something like that. He tipped 50 cents!! The guy had walked the length of the bar, and turned the corner into the pool room, when two quarters whizzed past his head and bounced off the wall behind him. Jim thanked him the charming manner that Brooklyn guys have.

I made sure I left at least $5/night behind for him from then on.

[auntie em]

Uh, no, but I have had a guy on the street (presumably homeless) ask me for money and, when I obliged, tell me it wasn't enough (and in response to the shocked look on my face, he pressed, "Hey, it's Christmas.").

I didn't cough up any more, either.

I mean, hell, he hadn't even brought me any food. You bring me food, I pay you well. If not, you take what you can get. ;)

[ShadiRoxan]

The only time I've gotten hassled was when I bought a bottle of orange juice from a coffee shop and the guy behind the counter got pissed cause I didn't tip him for grabbing a bottle. Now if I order something that they have to make I'll tip... But grabbing a bottle of oj from the cooler?

I've heard many of my co-workers threaten to throw the change at people. I've never seen it done. About the only thing I've ever seen done is when the table says keep the change and it's literally just change. Normally the server just takes it back with a smile on their face. Normally this gets the point across. I've never seen a server outright demand a tip though.

[Shiva418]

I was about to leave a tip on the table but realsized that I only had a fifty. So I proceeded to the cashier at the front of the resturaunt to get some change. Before I even get to the register, the waitress starts yelling at me from 30 ft. away! Amidst her huffing and puffing, I explained the situation to her, but also explained that, because of her rudeness, she would not be reciveing any tip.

[betenoir]

No, but I've hassled someone :).

I was cocktailwaitressing at CBGB's. It was a big show night so the place was packed (so I was already stressed out). There was a group at the very front of the club, up by the stage, who placed a big drink order. I had to practically climb over people to get back to him while balancing a huge tray of drink (none of which spilled than you very much). Then the guy paid me and tipped me...nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I was so pissed off I bopped him on the head with my tray :). Ok, hardly professional of me, but what did he expect from a punk rock waitress :D.

[Necromancer]

No, I've never been hassled about a tip, but tipping is not expected here in Australia. Generally though, I'll leave a small tip if the food and service is excellent and I won't leave a tip if it's ordinary.

[pseudotriton ruber ruber]

Chinese restaurant, late '70s. I left a decent tip, a five dollar bill on a twenty dollar check, on the table, paid the bill and was starting to exit when the manager came up behind me and starting hollering angrily, "Why you no leave tip? You no leave tip! Why?" I walked back to the table, extracted the five from the plates and cups, showed it to him, and explained, "NOW I no leave tip," pocketed the bill and left.

Very satisfying, even though I could never eat there again, for fear of being served Moo Goo Gai Spit.

[Zenster]

I've never been hassled about not having tipped well enough. Then again, I'm a pretty good tipper. When I short on a tip, it is because the service or food has been unusually crappy. If the food is bad, I make the server aware of it so they can do something about it. If they don't take measures to correct the problem, well then, I don't think they'll be too surprised. If the service was lousy, review the previous sentence.

I make sure to let servers know when the service is lousy. I don't necessarily tell them (sometimes I do), but it's hard to miss that penny under my plate.

[The Griffin]

I cant believe you yanks actually tip bar staff. I mean they just pour your drinks! And they get paid for it. Not a difficult job.

[sooners]

If the service is good thenI'll tip appropriately, when I was delivering pizza I had a guy tip me 50 bucks because I got there very fast, I was driving a trans am at the time

[Gatopescado]

Originally posted by auntie em
Uh, no, but I have had a guy on the street (presumably homeless) ask me for money and, when I obliged, tell me it wasn't enough (and in response to the shocked look on my face, he pressed, "Hey, it's Christmas.").



I would have played Santa Clause and given him a punch in the throat! :D

[Casey1505]

Originally posted by The Griffin
I cant believe you yanks actually tip bar staff. I mean they just pour your drinks! And they get paid for it. Not a difficult job. It's not so much a reward as it is a bribe. If you don't tip, you may find yourself waiting around a long time for a drink. The better the tip, the less time you spend with an empty glass.

[hajario]

Twice...and neither time was my fault!

1. Eating at a sushi place with a small group of friends. One of the group had a gift certificate from the restaurant which ended up being for the same amount of money as the tip. The manager didn't notice the gift certificate and came to the table visibly upset. She demanded to know what was wrong with the service. She was a little embarrassed when she realized what happened.

2. Birthday dinner for a friend sponsored by his friend Gina who I did not know very well. Gina had called in advance and asked if she could bring in her own cake. They said it would be no problem but that they would charge a couple bucks a person (cake-age fee!). That's pretty reasonable in my opinion and even if it wasn't she knew it was coming in advance.

We have a nice dinner and they serve the cake that Gina brought. When the bill comes, Gina opts to not pay the extra fee. This fee was about what the tip should have been. None of us were at all aware of the controversy over the fee or even saw the bill. Gina just told everyone how much we owed and we paid her. Right after we left the restaurant, the manager grabbed me by the shoulder and started shouting at me. I didn't have a clue what he was talking about. The Gina ran over and started screaming at him for him blaming me. I left the scene while the two of them were still going at it.

The three times in my life that I really did stiff the waitstaff because the service was horrible, no one said a word.

Haj

[Omnipresent]

No, I'm so anti-tipping, all I need to hear is someone biching about it.

One time though, I was getting a hair cut when the guy leans close to my ear and whispers, "You know, my BEST customers leave good tips". It's a good thing I didn't have to pay for the hair cut right then because, what could I do, risk a bald spot on the side of my head.

Needless to say I never went back there. I didn't tip him any more than I would have either.

Have you seen this thing with Dunkin Donuts with the tip cup at the register. WHAT? They just took a donut and put it in the bag.

If that's so, I guess where supposed to tip people at a deli counter, McDonalds, Home Depot for a guy pointing to the "screw" section. SHEESH.

[gallows fodder]

Once. One night, my mom and I ate at an Italian restaurant in a nice area of Boston, and since we each only had a plate of pasta and drank water, our bill came to $25. We left a $5 tip. As we were leaving, the waiter came by and started clearing our places, saw the tip, and said loudly, "Five dollars? Five dollars!" in a "I can't believe you're such cheapskates!" tone of voice. I stopped and said (not as loudly as I would have liked) that $5 was 20% of $25, so what was the problem? He just mumbled something and turned away. Man, I was pissed....we hadn't done anything wrong!

[In Conceivable]

Many years ago I had a waitress run out to the parking lot and stand between me and my car door while I was trying to leave.

My best friend and I had dinner together one Friday night. The restaurant was very busy and the service was awful. I would ask for more tea and it would take five minutes or longer. We asked for the bill and it took forever. We quitely joked to ourselves about not tipping but when it came down to it we decided to leave the standard 15%

Being high school kids we had a lot of small bills (mostly crumpled ones and a couple of fives). The bill was $30 and we left $35. We waited at the table for about ten minutes for the waitress to to come and get the money and she wouldn't even look towards us. Finally we just left with the money still on the table.

Before we even made it ten steps out of the place the waitress comes flying out of the door and runs in front of me screaming that we needed to pay the bill and that they were calling the cops. I said that we left the money on the table and she insisted that we didn't leave enough. I said the bill was $30 and we left $35. She said that we left less then $30.

I followed her back to the restaurant where she took me to the table and began to loudly count the money we had left on the table. She counted the five dollar bills as one dollar. After pointing out her mistake I asked for my change back.

It still is the only time I have not left a tip on purpose. I can deal with bad service. I can't cope with the public humiliation.

[js_africanus]

I have trouble tipping poorly because I'm always concerned that poor service may be the fault of a manager who is too much of a jerk to staff the resturaunt properly. I end up giving the server the benefit of the doubt.

[amarone]

I have been tracked down after leaving a restaurant and pushing through a very crowded bar. The waiter asked, very politely, if there had been anything wrong with the service. I said no - I had just had a brain fart and forgot to fill in the tip amount. I remedied this.

On the handful of occasions I have deliberately left no tip because of bad service, I have never been hassled. This is probably because if the sergvice is that bad, they will have (politely, but firmly) heard about it before the end of the evening anyway.

[Doctor Jackson]

I once had dinner with my family and a friend's family at a local sit down chain restaurant. The service was horrible. The order came out wrong and our server continually "forgot" our requests for the missing items, more drink, condiments, etc. When the manager came around to ask the standard "Is everything OK?" we explained that it was not. She corrected the "oversights" and apparently talked to the server because from that point forward he would not even acknowledge our existence. I left no tip for may family's bill, our friend left one dollar to ensure that the sever knew we did not forget to tip. While in the parking lot saying our goodbyes the server came out of the restaurant, handed my friend the dollar saying coldly "I think you forgot this". My friend went back inside and found the manager. The end result was one pissed off manager and one fired waiter.

[ivylass]

I have stiffed several times due to lousy service. One time my MIL and her friend took me and the two kiddos out to lunch. The waitress automatically added a 20% tip to the bill. My MIL's friend laughed and tipped the amount she was going to tip. The waitress began demanding why we didn't leave what we were charged. I pointed out the service was slow, and that the menu said tips were added automatically to tables of eight or more. I suggested she count again.

[Eirik]

I've only failed to tip twice, or rather, I left a dollar to indicate my displeasure.

Once at a family chain resturaunt south of Boston, the server managed to screw up every aspect of my order. Brought the wrong drink, took 20 minutes to let me know that what I'd ordered for dinner was off the menu (so my freinds was done before I got my food) and later, when I decided to order desert, he took 15 minutes before telling me *that* was off the menu. I wasn't so annoyed that I didn't get what I wanted, just that it took so long. A few weeks later, at a different location of the same resturaunt, the waitress let me know in about a minute.

More recently, I was eating dinner with my then-fiancee and her sister at a seafood chain location, and the service was horrible again. The appetizer arrived last and cold, after we'd pretty well given up on it completely, and each of the three plates arrived at different times, spaced a few minutes apart (which I still can't figure out, since I thought they didn't send it out of the kitchen until it was done). Never could get her attention for drink or water refills, etc. Just not a good evening... didn't help that my fiancee got food poinsoning later.

[Audrey Levins]

No, I myself have never been hassled; I usually leave a pretty big tip. :D

But I myself have hassled others about not doing so. Does that count?

College-age kid kept coming up to the bar and ordering rounds of shots/drinks, etc., and he never once tipped me.

So around the fourth/fifth time, he orders four shots of Jagermeister.

I pour (standard) shots of Jager and hand them to him.

"Hey, c'mon, hook it up!" he says. "Why don't you put a little more in there!"

"Hey, why don't you hook me up?" I say, shrugging at him. "You haven't even tipped me a freakin' dollar all night. Why the hell should I hook you up?"

He has the grace to look embarrassed, but he swiftly recovers and denies it. "Yeah, I did...I gave you a couple of bucks earlier!"

"No you didn't, and you know it. I'm not adding another drop of liquor to those shots. Keep dreaming, buddy."

He stares at me for second before walking off. And then returns ten seconds later and very ostentatiously stuffs two dollars into my tip jar.

Considering he'd ordered about $60 worth of alcohol at this point, I wasn't impressed, but at least I embarrassed him.

People who urge me to "hook them up" or "pour me a really good drink," etc., etc., are usually the only people I remind how little they've tipped me. People seem to think that "Hey, make it a good one!" are somehow magic words. I have to remind them that the only thing that'll work magic is money in my tip jar.

And FTR, The Griffin, I feel the need to note that in America, particularly in Texas, barstaff get paid the same thing waitstaff does. $2.13 an hour. And you may not think it's a difficult job, but I suggest you take it over on a Saturday night when there's ten billion people at the bar screaming at you, and then talk to me about whether or not you deserve a freakin' tip. OK? (See, this is what drives me nuts about Brits at my bar. A lot of them are aware that bartenders in America work for tips--it's not like my tip jar is hiding!--but they just choose not to. Fine. Stiff me. But then they also want the same service as someone who is tipping me. One or the other, people.)

[The Griffin]

$2.13 an hour? Well that is rediculous, I wouldnt work for that sort of money, and I wouldnt take a job where I had to expect tips to survive. I thought there was a minimum wage in USA? Why does it not apply to bar staff?

[The Griffin]

It sounds to me like amercans are going a bit OTT on the whole tip idea reading this thread! Tipping donut sells! lmao you sad people!

[The Griffin]

It sounds to me like amercans are going a bit OTT on the whole tip idea reading this thread! Tipping donut sellers! lmao you sad people!

[with withholding]

I got my short haircut at a place with a big sign $11.99.
I handed her a $20 and expected exact change back, including some singles so I could give a tip.
She handed the bills and instantly snarled "waiting for the penny?"
I said "Well if that's the way you feel, you keep the penny, and I'll keep your tip! Bitch." I thought she would hit me but the owner rushed over (she knows I'm a regular tipper)

[Ferret Herder]

The Griffin, there is a minimum wage for bar/waitstaff - it's just extremely low, and the IRS taxes them at a higher rate as if they were tipped well.

[Goofus]

One time a delivery guy told me he didn't have change for $20 on a $12 order. I didn't have anything smaller, so I let him have the $8. Now I just remember that guy whenever my conscience bothers me about being a stingy tipper.

[masonite]

My story takes place in the mid-80s at Harrigans, a mid-scale diner in Glendale, CA. Don't know if it's still there.

A friend was taking me out to lunch. I had no cash and neither of us had credit cards. It turned out, my friend didn't have enough money on him. By combining our pocket change, we miraculously turned up enough money to pay the check, with no tip. There was exactly a nickel left. At least we wouldn't have to wash dishes.

My friend wanted to leave the nickel as a tip; knowing that it was nowhere near enough, he strongly felt even a nickel was better than nothing. I argued against this foolish plan, knowing that a nickel tip is much more insulting than no tip; if you leave no tip, the waitress will just think you are crass or, for one reason or another, never tip at all. They deal with it. But when you leave a nickel, it's obvious that you're insulting the service. It's a deliberate message, the full text of which is "Here's exactly what I think you're worth."

But my friend prevailed. The nickel was left. We left the restaurant.

And half a block down the street, the waitress came running after us. "Sir! Sir! You left your money on the table!" She handed my friend the nickel. And gracious as the Queen of England, he accepted it and smiled "Thank you!"

She was smiling too, but it wasn't a nice smile.

[RealTronic]

Well first of all I gotta say:I hate tipping. Of course, when I'm in the States, I accept the system of it - in no way do I expect people to survive at $2-$3 per hour; so I give them the 15-20% or whatever (but it hurts every time.... Raise the minimum wage level for friggin sake!)

ANYWAY.

This one time, me and a friend were in Vegas, and we were checking out from a hotel. So this bellhop or whoever tells me they will call a cab to the airport, and take care of the bags. So, we walk to the front of the hotel and wait. And wait. And wait. No sign of either taxi or bags! So, we go back and pick up our bags ourselves and hail a cab by ourselves. Just when we are about to get into the cab which we got ourselves, the stupid guy comes running back, grabbing our bags off the street to "help" us load them into the cab (wow, lifting them off the curb, thanks a lot). Naturally, we did NOT tip him. Upon which, he SLAMS the door, almost before we managed to get in and yelled "MY PLEASURE!" The nerve!!!

[Turbo Dog]

Originally posted by Omnipresent
No, I'm so anti-tipping, all I need to hear is someone biching about it.

Who are you, Mr. Pink?

My wife and I generally tip very well. If somebody simply does their job, they get a fair tip. They are doing a shitty job for shitty pay. I believe that most waiters and bartenders do much more work than I do in a given day for a percentage of what I get paid. If somebody does more than they really have to, they get a much better tip. If they go above and beyond, they get a very nice tip. Part of it is advance bribery. There are very few places that we go out to eat, as we can both make better food than all but very few places. People remember good tippers, and soon you get much better service and many times, good inside information. Part of it is also that we don't go out a lot, so a 35% tip isn't a huge deal to us. If we ate out 4 days a week, it would be less.

But to get back on topic, in my youth I was in a strip club one night and had been tossing bills out like candy. Towards the end of the night, and the end of my cash flow, a girl did a stunning routine. So I gave her everything I had left. It came out to something like 78 cents in change. When her set ended, she pulled me aside and I thought she was going to kill me, she was so pissed. What I thought was a compliment, that I would give a girl my last red cent, was interpreted as "I'm only worth a couple quarters and a pile of pennies"? I was able to tap dance my way out of an ass kicking, and she finally understood and appreciated it, but clued me in to tip etiquette, and we actually became friends. I appreciated the knowledge and the fact that she didn't beat my ass. She could have taken me easily I think.

[Incubus]

I've actually had somewhat the opposite thing happen to me at a strip join, Turbo Dog. There was this gorgeous asian dancer that came on stage, and I more or less emptied the remaining contents of my wallet. I guess she really appreciated my generosity, because she was quite a bit, er, over enthusiastic about making sure I get my money's worth. She came over to where I was sitting, and sorta hopped in my lap. It was about a 3 foot drop from the stage on my lap and it felt like all her weight landed square on my balls. When she put her arm down to steady herself, she then accidentally punched me in the groin. She was kind of alarmed when she saw the expression on my face and apologized profusely, but I laughed off the injuries and assured her things were fine. She definitely made it a point to make it up to me, though...;)

[Casey1505]

Audrey, how long does Griffin wait for his drink if he came to the states? I'm guessing at least 15 minutes...maybe even miss last call?

[Audrey Levins]

My dear Casey1505, he will wait until I've got nothing better to do. And on a packed Saturday night, that just might be...

Oh, after we've closed. ;)

[ivylass]

Originally posted by The Griffin
$2.13 an hour? Well that is rediculous, I wouldnt work for that sort of money, and I wouldnt take a job where I had to expect tips to survive. I thought there was a minimum wage in USA? Why does it not apply to bar staff?

I've worked as a waitress. I won't do it again, simply because the job does not suit me, but let me explain the philosophy of tipping.

I could bring home $100-$150 a night on a good busy night. The low wages are nothing...the theory is, the better the service, the better the tip, and the more money you make. Now, granted, you're going to get some yahoos who won't tip at all, but the servers would warn each other about the stiffers, and they'd get nominal service, but nothing out of the ordinary. I mean, why bust your butt rushing to the table with extra rolls and fresh drinks, when you knew you weren't going to get a tip? They would need to wait an extra few minutes while I waited on the six top.