Improving your English is both easy and fun! (mild rant at native English speakers)

[Lisa-go-Blind]

People! Either buy a dictionary or quit using words you don't know how to spell. Sadly, this extends to the SDMB. In the past month, I've seen:

1)"bonified". It's bona fide. It comes from Latin. IANA Latin scholar, nor have I ever even taken a Latin class, but I know how to spell this simple phrase.

2)"for all intensive purposes". What is this even supposed to mean? "Intensive purposes"? Perhaps if one paid attention to the actual words coming out of one's mouth/pen/fingers, then one would realize how nonsensical it is. By the way, it's "for all intents and purposes".

3)"pre-Madonna". This perhaps bugs me most of all. Reading the phrase makes it appear to be an adjective--"the pre-Madonna phase, when she was known as Baby Ciccone". The actual phrase, prima donna, is a noun (well, a noun with a qualifying adjective), and people want to use "pre-Madonna" as a noun as well: "I told her that her uppity behavior made her look like a pre-Madonna". What?

Also, please don't be angry with the person kind/brave enough to correct you. Weer abowt despelling ignor ants, yawl!








By the way, I wrote this to sound angrier than I really am. This is my first pit thread, so I had to toughen up! Grrrrrr! Feel free to attack my spelling, grammar, personality, dumb posts, etc. Rawr!

[Icebrand]

That wasn't really angry enough... plus, I think all three of these have been bashed in this very forum on this very week. But I'm a noob, so it's not like I'm right or anything. ;)

[Lisa-go-Blind]

Not angry enough, eh?

I can't believe these fucking asshats have already covered the fucking shit I was writing my goddamned post about! Fucking fucktards.



How's that, Icebrand? There's a reason I don't hang around too often in the Pit...

[Largo62]

You are absolutely correct, Lisa.


Signed: a fellow language Nazi. (That is what some people here will call you...that or "grammar Nazi"). But never mind them. They are merely jealous of your facility with the greatest of languages.

You see, I am inviting a pitting of my own here by those who think I'm denegrating other languages. I know, of course that other languages, like, for example, Spanish and Italian, are more musical. But English has by far the largest vocabulary, ergo the widest means of expression.

Be warned, however, that you will never win one of these arguments, either in the Pit or anywhere else. I'm just sayin'. ;)

[Icebrand]

No, it's still redundant, just on a different level. Plus, you forgot the word about the goats.

[Zenster]

Welcome aboards, Icebrand.

Bash away, Lisa-go-Blind. Those transgressions are enough to make Webster twirl in his grave.

[Lisa-go-Blind]

Originally posted by DesertGeezer
Be warned, however, that you will never win one of these arguments, either in the Pit or anywhere else. I'm just sayin'. ;)

Yeah, I learned that from when I discovered snopes a couple of years ago. Cries of "that's an untrue urban legend!" were met with confusion and bullishness. "No it's not! My friend's uncle knew Lemonjello!" or "My preacher said that the Disney Corporation is evil and is infecting the minds of children!".




And then I had no friends. :D

[Ephemera]

You forgot "should of", "would of", and "could of".

[Largo62]

Originally posted by Aesiron
You forgot "should of", "would of", and "could of".
Oh, the PAIN! And I have to go to bed on that. Thanks a lot!!! ;)

[Lynn Bodoni]

)"for all intensive purposes". What is this even supposed to mean? "Intensive purposes"? Perhaps if one paid attention to the actual words coming out of one's mouth/pen/fingers, then one would realize how nonsensical it is. By the way, it's "for all intents and purposes".

Phrases like this MIGHT be the result of speaking software...though I'm not very familiar with it. Then again, it might be that you're correct, and it's just ignorance popping up.

[jjimm]

Originally posted by DesertGeezer
denegrating Gaudere, take this man out and have him shot.

[Shade]

Originally posted by Lisa-go-Blind
3)"pre-Madonna".

[curls in corner crying] People actually wrtie this? I wouldn't have had the faintest idea what they were blathering about. :(

[Laughing Lagomorph]

Oh yeah? Well, who aksed youse guys anyways?

[Liberal]

Pre-Madonna? :eek: I've never seen that one before!

[everton]

Originally posted by Libertarian
Pre-Madonna? :eek: I've never seen that one before!
Me neither, and I hope I never do. But if I hear "fine toothcomb" one more time someone's going to get their fine teeth punched down their throat.

[mhendo]

Originally posted by jjimm
Gaudere, take this man out and have him shot. Damn! Beat me to it!

On the other hand, maybe "denegrate" is derived from the Latin, and means "to remove a black mark or stain." :)

[Scarlett67]

HEY!!! While we're at it --

It's ATHEIST.

A = "not"
THE = "god"
IST = "believer"

There is no such thing as an "athiest" (which looks like some kind of superlative: athy, athier, athiest). I haven't actually caught anyone who claims to BE one using this atrocious spelling, but the day will come.

[BiblioCat]

How about "taking something for granite"?

[StarvingButStrong]

Oralisms. People who have learned words and phrases from hearing instead of reading them.

You might as well learn to enjoy them. Unless movies and television and radio go away they'll never stop coming.

[Mauvaise]

Oh thank god you started this thread, Lisa! There's one I see often on the board, but didn't want to either correct the person in the thread (because it had nothing to do with the topic), nor did I want to start a rant of my own.

It's a moot point. Not a mute point! MOOT!

Ahhh, I feel better now, thanks!

[ruadh]

Bias is a noun, not an adjective. The adjective is biased.

[catsix]

But 'has' much 'has' you think so, not all native English speakers are this stupid about grammar and spelling.

Now, I can cut loose with some Pittsburghese when I'm just goofing around, and that makes a lot of the 'mistakes' look just beautiful by comparison, but did you really need to lump all native English speakers into your rant?

Why not specify that you meant to rant at people who speak English poorly and have no excuse?

[AmericanMaid]

When you rise at dawn, choose your weapon etc. you're taking part in a duel. NOT dual.

They're rather ignorant about their grammar over there.

Innocuous means harmless not harmful.

[UrbanChic]

Much like Shade, I didn't need to know that somewhere, someone has actually typed the words 'pre-Madonna' in lieu of prima donna.

[tdn]

Originally posted by Libertarian
Pre-Madonna? :eek: I've never seen that one before!

Really? I've seen it a hundred times on this board alone.

Take a look at a few random threads and Walla! you'll see it, even if your butt naked. :p

[Dogface]

It's "its" not "it's" if one writes of something belonging to "it". Only an utter MORON could fail to know this. Likewise, plurals in English are usually formed WITHOUT using an apostrophe. Egregious apostrophism ought to be grounds for mandatory sterilization with a rusty spoon.

[Mighty_Girl]

I am not a native speaker and I still fail to see how somebody can't understand the difference between it's and its, where and were, there and their. I keep correcting my British friend all the time. I am starting to feel bad, as if I had no right to do so. So much for the Queen's English.

[BuckleberryFerry]

Originally posted by Lisa-go-Blind
3)"pre-Madonna"

Has NO ONE seen Phantom?!

~Prima donna / first lady of the stage / your devotees / are on their knees to implore you...~

[Balance]

Originally posted by BiblioCat
How about "taking something for granite"? I marble at those who make this error, but I take comfort in the knowledge that they shale regret it eventually. ;)

[Kallessa]

Pre-Madonna--when Jesus was just a twinkle in his Father's eye.

[Liberal]

Originally posted by Balance
I marble at those who make this error, but I take comfort in the knowledge that they shale regret it eventually. ;) You've certainly left no limestone unturned. :D

[elfkin477]

Originally posted by Aesiron
You forgot "should of", "would of", and "could of".

<whines>
No one ever explains this gripe. Would "would have," "could have," and "should have" be acceptable to the complainers, or is there some sort of deeper problem?

[Lisa-go-Blind]

Originally posted by catsix
But 'has' much 'has' you think so, not all native English speakers are this stupid about grammar and spelling.

Now, I can cut loose with some Pittsburghese when I'm just goofing around, and that makes a lot of the 'mistakes' look just beautiful by comparison, but did you really need to lump all native English speakers into your rant?

Why not specify that you meant to rant at people who speak English poorly and have no excuse?


I didn't mean to pick on all native English speakers. I meant to pick on all native English speakers who make these mistakes, as opposed to those who make these mistakes but learned English as a foreign language. Although, as Mighty_Girl proves, some non-native speakers have a better grasp on the English language than those born speaking it.



On a similar note, writing (sp?) after a word grates on my nerves. If you're uncertain about the spelling, either take the ten seconds to look it up or leave it misspelled and just not draw attention to it! You can say it was just a typo! Unless it's something that cannot be verified quickly (such as the spelling of a friend's unusual last name), it looks lazy and weakens your argument.

[Lisa-go-Blind]

Originally posted by elfkin477
<whines>
No one ever explains this gripe. Would "would have," "could have," and "should have" be acceptable to the complainers, or is there some sort of deeper problem? \

"Should of" is not correct. The correct forms are "should have" and "should've". "Should of" is similar to my three mistakes mentioned in the OP in that it sounds similar to the correct term--"should've" (short for "should have")--but itself is not a correct term.

[lieu]

Pre-Madonna? Bwhaahaa... a preemptive strike on making the baby Jesus cry.

[matt_mcl]

"pre-Madonna"??!!

The world can be divided into two epochs: P.M. (pre-Madonna) and A.D. (anno dominatricis.) The dividing line is the release of "Like a Virgin" on video.

[LilyoftheValley]

Originally posted by tdn
Take a look at a few random threads and Walla! you'll see it.

tdn beat me to this one that really bugs me! Either "walla" or "viola", both drive me batty.

Another one I see a lot is to "segway" between topics. Ugh.

And last but not least...over the last month or so, I've seen a remarkable rise in an endless string of variations of ludicrous. Among the more popular are "ludachris", "ludacris" (been watching too much MTV?), and "ludacrist".

Whew, thanks for the opportunity to vent, Lisa! Now I can go back to my non-SDMB boards without snapping. :cool:

[Largo62]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by DesertGeezer
denegrating
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by jjimm
Gaudere, take this man out and have him shot.
Aaaaargh! :smack: I knew I would make a spelling misteak! It always happens when I am preaching linguistic perfection to others. I hate myself!

No. No blindfold, sir. Just let me finish my cigarette (the first in over eighteen years) and I'll be ready to take the blunt of your righteous rage. After all, when your right, your right. There's nothing left for me.

BE WITH YA IN A MINUTE, MOMMY!

[godzillatemple]

And let's not forget the ignorant morons who write that they "loose" their minds, "loose" an argument, etc.

I have to admit, though, that, while I am perfectly aware of the difference between "its" and "it's," I have been known to get them confused when typing too fast. Ditto with "their" and "they're." But I really do know the correct usage, I swear...

Barry

[thirdwarning]

People, people, people,
It's very simple. Lead, pronounced with a short e sound, is a soft metal.

Now, repeat after me:
Today I lead, yesterday I led, I have led.

And if it shows up wrong in my newspaper again this week, I'm going to circle it with a big red pen and send it back to them. COD if possible.

[Mighty_Girl]

Originally posted by DesertGeezer
After all, when your right, your right. Can I also be in the shooting squad?

:D

[TaxGuy]

I can understand getting all worked up over the examples in the OP, but I think it's stupid when some of the language Nazis around here keep getting upset over your/you're, to/two/too, it's/its, should of/should've, etc.

It's not like people that use the wrong word don't KNOW that it's wrong. I'd bet that 99% of the time the wrong word is used simply because someone was "dictating to themselves" in their head, so they spelled it out phonetically and typed it.

Sure people should check their work before posting, but it's nothing to scream about.

[CanvasShoes]

Originally posted by Lisa-go-Blind
2)"for all intensive purposes". What is this even supposed to mean? "Intensive purposes"? Perhaps if one paid attention to the actual words coming out of one's mouth/pen/fingers, then one would realize how nonsensical it is. By the way, it's "for all intents and purposes".

You must not have read the entire thread from which you got this particular "boo boo". FTR, this mistake was pointed out in the thread in which it was posted.

The poster who made this mistake is a doper who is normally articulate and writes well, it was a momentary lapse on his(her?) part, and those in the thread, INLCUDING the author of this "phrase faux pas" had a good laugh over it.

Especially since the author DID know what would have been the correct phrase, his fingers were just flying faster than he was thinking, or some such.

I'm all for grammar/spelling nazism, but before using something as an example of someone who is posting errors foolishly, you might want to check that the error wasn't already acknowledged as such by its author.

Just a thought :)

The "pre-madonna" thing cracked me up though, I've never seen anyone use that before.

[badmana]

The one that just makes me shake my head is Break and Brake. I post at an automotive forum and there are people who don't know the difference!.

Makes baby jesus cry I tells ya.

[Bricker]

Originally posted by Lisa-go-Blind
2)"for all intensive purposes". What is this even supposed to mean? "Intensive purposes"? Perhaps if one paid attention to the actual words coming out of one's mouth/pen/fingers, then one would realize how nonsensical it is. By the way, it's "for all intents and purposes".


I don't know where you saw this... but if you saw it in my "Bricker Challenge" thread, then you should take another look at the context in which it was offered, for which use I would aver it was absolutely appropriate.

- Rick

[CanvasShoes]

Originally posted by Dogface
It's "its" not "it's" if one writes of something belonging to "it". Only an utter MORON could fail to know this. Likewise, plurals in English are usually formed WITHOUT using an apostrophe. Egregious apostrophism ought to be grounds for mandatory sterilization with a rusty spoon.
I do it, but I'm not an utter moron, I KNOW the correct use, I am just a lousy typist, and one or two of the little suckers occasionally slip through.

Generally (or so it seems) I use "it's" (it is) in typing more than "its" (belongs to it), if I've got several "it'ses" in a post (or report), I'll get so used to typing it's that the ones that are SUPPOSD to be its'es just automatically fly off my fingers (especially if I'm "in the zone" for once, which doesn't happen often since I'm a TERRIBLE typist), as it's instead (don't worry, on my technical reports I carefully double check ALL it'ses AND itses!! :D

[emmaliminal]

Originally posted by DesertGeezer
Signed: a fellow language Nazi. (That is what some people here will call you...that or "grammar Nazi"). ... Originally posted by mhendo
... maybe "denegrate" is derived from the Latin, and means "to remove a black mark or stain." :) Ah, such memories... I once wrote a paper in grad school that got my ass canned. Yes, I was actually formally expelled (and later reinstated, though I quit shortly after reinstatement). In this paper I argued that certain... ah, critical theorists use a deliberately obscurantist writing style. I quoted George Orwell on the subject of "plain style". My professor called him a grammar nazi, informed me that I had to "break my thrall to the dead white male cabal" (never MIND that the two sources I quoted most often in that paper were Patricia Nelson Limerick and Edward Said!), proceeded to redefine me as a potential black stain on the lily-white reputation of the department, and had me officially denegrated.

Heavens, no; I'm not bitter. Why do you ask?

I wear my grammar nazi badge with pride.

[emmaliminal]

Originally posted by CanvasShoes
... I carefully double check ALL it'ses AND itses!! :D
poke poke

I do believe that should be "it's'es" and "its'es". Or at least "it'ses" and "itses". Better yet, "it's'es" and "its'es"...

hee hee!

[Thudlow Boink]

It's a doggy-dog world out there.

[Shade]

Originally posted by emilyforce
poke poke

I do believe that should be "it's'es" and "its'es". Or at least "it'ses" and "itses". Better yet, "it's'es" and "its'es"...

hee hee! How about "it's"s and "its"s?

[emmaliminal]

Originally posted by Shade
How about "it's"s and "its"s? Sorry, no; the information that this is a word-referred-to-as-a-word (or "word-as-word") is conveyed by the italics, and double quotation marks would be redundant if used in that particular instance. But you get to keep the double quotes around the whole parcel as they are being quoted from the original.

Hey, buddy, I'm a perfessinal copiediter. I perfessinaly copiediate grammar textbooks. You mess with me on this stuff, I call you OUT.

[Largo62]

Originally posted by Mighty_Girl
Can I also be in the shooting squad?

:D
You can hurt me if you want to, Mighty_Girl, but you did know that was intentional...didn't you?

Using "your" for "you're" is second only to using "their" for "they're" in my list of boob-headed boo-boos. It bugs me when people write "to" when they mean "too," too, also, as well, besides. ;)

[Mighty_Girl]

Ah! But you MUST cut me some slack for I am not a native speaker.

Heh!

[Shade]

emily: Uh, I didn't mean to imply you were wrong, I was following on in the light hearted theme of making more suggestions...

My logic was that CanvasShoes was referring to many instances of the contraction of "it is", so should enclose that word in quotes, and then put an 's' on the end. I italicised what I suggested to indicate that it was a quotation-type-thing, not part of my sentance structure.

I thought it wa the same as your second example, but with italics as outer quotes and double quotes as inner quotes, rather than vice-verca.

But I'm not the copyeditor, a profession I feel is very unappreciated :), so could you explain that again?

[Lisa-go-Blind]

Originally posted by Bricker
I don't know where you saw this... but if you saw it in my "Bricker Challenge" thread, then you should take another look at the context in which it was offered, for which use I would aver it was absolutely appropriate.

- Rick


I don't think I've ever read your "Bricker Challenge" thread (sorry), but this is one that I've actually seen multiple times on this message board. CanvasShoes, sometimes the mistake will be pointed out, sometimes not. Can I have a link to the thread you're referring to?

[emmaliminal]

Originally posted by Shade
emily: Uh, I didn't mean to imply you were wrong, I was following on in the light hearted theme of making more suggestions...

My logic was that CanvasShoes was referring to many instances of the contraction of "it is", so should enclose that word in quotes, and then put an 's' on the end. I italicised what I suggested to indicate that it was a quotation-type-thing, not part of my sentance structure.

I thought it wa the same as your second example, but with italics as outer quotes and double quotes as inner quotes, rather than vice-verca.

But I'm not the copyeditor, a profession I feel is very unappreciated :), so could you explain that again? Hey, flattery and appreciation will get you everywhere. All righty. I will not whup your italics-impaired ass. ;)
(See, I left out the ;) on my last post. Sorry 'bout that.)

Now down to business.

Chicago Manual of Style (14th ed.), pp. 213-14: 6.75: Phrases quoted from another context are usually enclosed in quotation marks.

6.76: When... a word or term is referred to as the word or term itself and is not being used functionally to convey its meaning, it is commonly set in italics... Quotation marks are also often used for this purpose and[/i] quotation marks would be redundant].

6.77 The plurals of italicized words and terms are formed by the addition of s or es (see 6.14-15). It is simpler to form the plural of an italicized word than of a word enclosed in quotation marks, but if the latter seems required or preferable, the tidiest way to show the plural is to add an apostrophe and an s inside the closing quotation mark [but, again, it would be redundant to use both italics and apostrophes]. So, technically, [b]"it's'es" and "its'es" or "it'ses" and "itses" are correct,
but my suggestion of "it's'es" and "its'es" and your suggestion of "it's"s and "its"s are both wrong.

But hon, we gotta talk: please, oh please tell me "vice-verca" is a typo. Or your ass WILL be perfessinaly copieditated.

[Scarlett67]

Pfft. emilyforce, ain't yew gotcher CMS 15 yet? The 14th edition is sooo passé. ;)

[emmaliminal]

Originally posted by Scarlett67
Pfft. emilyforce, ain't yew gotcher CMS 15 yet? The 14th edition is sooo passé. ;) {sob} No, we can't get them or even use them in my office until my boss has a chance to go over all the changes and determine whether they align with our house style or not. This will probably require several high-level meetings with several executive senior übereditors since we don't have a department VP at the moment.

[snif] Don't have to rub it in, missy!

I also want the new Merriam Webster's Collegiate and the new MLA Handbook, but don't hold your breath for me.

[Scarlett67]

Bureaucracy's a bitch, innit? I have to admit that I haven't started (or ever offered) to implement it on new projects, either. I've had a quick flip through, but I want to take some serious time and really go over it before I start claiming to be comfy with it.

[Shade]

Crud. Yes, it's a typo. Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt.I do believe that should be "it's'es" and "its'es". Or at least "it'ses" and "itses". Better yet, "it's'es" and "its'es"...So, technically, "it's'es" and "its'es" or "it'ses" and "itses" are correct,
but my suggestion of "it's'es" and "its'es" and your suggestion of "it's"s and "its"s are both wrong.Now I'm confused...

In your original post, were the double quotes your quotes, or what you were suggesting CanvasShoes use?

In your second example, there's bold, double quotes and single quotes - isn't that too many? Or are you quoting yourself earlier quoting CanvasShoes quoting himself?

Let me see if I can follow the guide... (phrase suggested in bold)

I should use it's and its - wrong, should be in quotes
I should use it's and its - yes, italics used as quotes
I should use "it's" and "its" - yes, double quotes used as quotes
I should more it'ses and itses - yes, italics used as quotes, with italic 'es' appended to indicate plural. Confusing imho as the if 'es' formed a standard plural it could appear to be the quote of a plural not the plural of a quote.
I should more "it's's" and "its's" - yes, double quotes used as quotes, and apostrophe and 's' inside for plural - confusing as before.

I can't face the examples where someone is quoting someone else quoting... The plurals of italicized words and terms are formed by the addition of s or esOr am I reading this wrong? Does it mean a quoted plural, not the plural of a quote?the tidiest way to show the plural is to add an apostrophe and an s inside the closing quotation markDoes that mean there's another way?

Am I taking this too seriously? :( I'd flatter you some more, but then it might turn into a flirt thread and I'd never find out about quotes :)

[CanvasShoes]

Originally posted by Lisa-go-Blind
I don't think I've ever read your "Bricker Challenge" thread (sorry), but this is one that I've actually seen multiple times on this message board. CanvasShoes, sometimes the mistake will be pointed out, sometimes not. Can I have a link to the thread you're referring to?

Whew!!! Make me work why don't you. And I apologize, I didn't realize you'd seen it multiple times. (and I also hope it didn't sound too snide!

But here's the link to the one I'm talking about.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=204216&highlight=intensive

Hope this works, I'm stuck at a semi remote project site with {{{shudder}}} dial-up.

:D

[CanvasShoes]

Am I taking this too seriously? :( I'd flatter you some more, but then it might turn into a flirt thread and I'd never find out about quotes :) [/B]

Oh my goodness, I posted the "it'ses" and "itses" post COMPLETELY being a smart aleck. If I'd known I was going to confuse someone I would have looked up the proper way to write what I meant regarding those two!!!

I purposely put "it'ses" and "itses" just to be silly, and not to suggest that they were in any way correct (are they?,,LOL)

[Zoe]

I'm having one of my school nightmares again, aren't I?

I had told the doctor they were getting better. I've been away from the classroom for fourteen years. No nightmares in six months. Now this one is a doozie! I hope I spelled that right. If I can make this into a lucid dream, I'm throwing hot coffee on the department chair...

that that is is that that is not is not that is it is it not

what? hey...

[Zoe]

Did any of you see the thread the other day that had the word Christs's? It was to weep! I think it may even have been in a thread title.

One of the most frequent offenses here is wierd. Doesn't that look weird to them?

Spelling is part gift and part knowledge of the rules. I am quickly losing both. I feel certain that I have misspelled duel and especially atheist frequently.

I hate not being able to count on my spelling. It keeps me from being a Spelling Nazi and that is such a pleasure!

Emily: In this paper I argued that certain... ah, critical theorists use a deliberately obscurantist writing style.

Is the word trouble maker hyphenated? one word? :D I knew I liked you!

[Lisa-go-Blind]

Originally posted by CanvasShoes
But here's the link to the one I'm talking about.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=204216&highlight=intensive


Yeah, I did see that one. However, I also remember seeing it before. Can twice be "multiple times", or do we have to restrict that to three or four times? ;)

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

Has anyone else seen:

One in the same

A tough road to hoe

Cut and dry

GAK GAK GAK

[Apollyon]

Originally posted by BiblioCat
How about "taking something for granite"? #1
"Ow!"
"Sorry, didn't see you there, thought you were a rock".

#2
"Looks like those grifters conned him out of everything. Even his quarry".

#3
"Hey, Granite!"
"Huh? No, my name's Opal".
"Sorry, thought you were someone else".

:)

[HookerChemical]

Originally posted by Scarlett67
HEY!!! While we're at it --

It's ATHEIST.

A = "not"
THE = "god"
IST = "believer"

There is no such thing as an "athiest" (which looks like some kind of superlative: athy, athier, athiest). I haven't actually caught anyone who claims to BE one using this atrocious spelling, but the day will come.

And if you can't remember that, just remember 'i' before 'e' except after 'c'...
...or when it ain't.

[Apollyon]

Oh, and...

#4
"Doctor, my head hurts. A rock fell on it".
"Here, take two aspirin... and pay my exorbitant fee".

[mojave66]

Hi, I'm Mojave66. Care for a cookie? Baked them myself.

I'm from a desert. I bring dessert.

[Lisa-go-Blind]

Just deserts?

[Largo62]

Originally posted by Zoe
I hate not being able to count on my spelling. It keeps me from being a Spelling Nazi and that is such a pleasure.

"Not as pleasurable," said the naysayer, "as being a spelling Notzi."

"Nor a spelling Nautzi," added the sailor.

"I think being a spelling Knotzi is more fun," said the Boy Scout.

:p

[Elza B]

Originally posted by godzillatemple
And let's not forget the ignorant morons who write that they "loose" their minds, "loose" an argument, etc.

I have to admit, though, that, while I am perfectly aware of the difference between "its" and "it's," I have been known to get them confused when typing too fast. Ditto with "their" and "they're." But I really do know the correct usage, I swear...

Barry

The whole loose/lose things drives me INSANE! It's extremely prevalent on weight loss boards - part of me just wants to respond with "If you can't even SPELL the word, how do you expect to do it?"

I know, it's unfair, but it just makes my head hurt.

Ava

[BiblioCat]

Originally posted by Apollyon
#1
"Ow!"
"Sorry, didn't see you there, thought you were a rock".

#2
"Looks like those grifters conned him out of everything. Even his quarry".

#3
"Hey, Granite!"
"Huh? No, my name's Opal".
"Sorry, thought you were someone else".

:) ::groan::
You should be taken out back and stoned for that. ;)

[mojave66]

Originally posted by Lisa-go-Blind
Just deserts?

Forgot about "the exception." Doh. :smack:

[Redboss]

Originally posted by EddyTeddyFreddy
Cut and dry

Um, what should it be? Cut and dried?

It's not a phrase I see often but I always thought it was a metaphor, drawn from the tobacco industry. Meaning "finished to the point where no more can be done to it" or "ready to go"

However the more I think about it the more I am drawn into a dream-like state where no words seem to make sense. How curious.

Dreamily yours,

Redboss

[jtull]

Originally posted by Scarlett67
It's ATHEIST.

A = "not"
THE = "god"
IST = "believer"


Uhmmm, is this correct ? I always thought "atheist" originated from the greek word "atheos", which breaks down to "a" (not) and "theos" (god). I'm not an expert on such things, and I would stand corrected if you could provide a cite.

By the way, I'm not a native English speaker.

[Shade]

That's pretty much what Scalett said, isn't it, assuming 'the' derives from 'theos' and 'ist' has the standard english meaning of 'someone who follows whatever-ism'?

[jtull]

Well, "THE" is also considered to be an article, and it can get confusing...

[Typo Negative]

Anyone mentioned gorilla warfare? I don't know how long I thought that's what they were saying.

"What's this got to do with gorillas?"

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

Redboss, yes, it should be "cut and dried" -- as in hay. I suppose the tobacco analogy would make sense too, but I believe (without a scrap of evidence on hand to back me up) that the haymaking origin is more likely.

Oh, well, I just actually bothered to check my reference library, and found this in "The Dictionary of Cliches" by James Rogers (Facts on File Publications, 1985):

***Cut and Dried Routine: prepared beforehand. Sometimes it is said as "cut and dry," which is what one does with lumber, herbs, tobacco and flowers. The practice with herbs seems to have been the origin of the saying, which appears as early as 1710 in a letter to the Rev. Henry Sacheverell: "Your Sermon was ready Cut and Dry'd." The transferred meaning arises because cut and dried items, however useful they may be, have lost their freshness.***

Okay, so I was wrong. :o Although I still think haymaking feeds into the sense (said she stubbornly).

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

Hmmmmmm..... as I reread that 1710 quotation, it seems to me that describing the sermon as "ready Cut and Dry'd" DOES support the haymaking origin after all. Since hay isn't immediately useful (ready) till it's been cut and dried. Of course, taken out of context, it's kinda hard to be quite sure of what was meant.

But that's my story, and I'm sticking to it. :p

[Earthworm Jim]

Originally posted by Scarlett67
There is no such thing as an "athiest" (which looks like some kind of superlative: athy, athier, athiest). I haven't actually caught anyone who claims to BE one using this atrocious spelling, but the day will come.
If I did, would it make me athier than thou?

[Largo62]

It's miss'-chi-vus (only three syllables), not miss-chee'-vee-us.
It's jew-el-ry, not jew-le-ry.
Jesus did not die on a unit of war horses. It's Cal-va-ry, not Cav-al-ry.
People who sell houses are real-tors (two syllables), not ree-la-tors (three).

I've heard some very smart people use all these. I don't correct them, but it jars me every time I hear these misproununciations.

It's such a burden being purfekt. ;)

[Mister Rik]

Lisa, will you marry me? ;)

And nobody explained this, so I will:

quote:
Originally posted by Aesiron
You forgot "should of", "would of", and "could of".

<whines>
No one ever explains this gripe. Would "would have," "could have," and "should have" be acceptable to the complainers, or is there some sort of deeper problem?

Yes, "would have" et al are correct. When people write would of, they are writing what they hear, which is incorrect in this instance. What they should actually write is would've, which is the contraction of would have. Would've is, however, pronounced "would of" so people ignorantly write it that way.


I'm actually board with this topic ;)

[Hyperelastic]

Originally posted by Zoe
Now this one is a doozie! I hope I spelled that right.

This may be of interest to you:

http://nytimes.com/2003/08/22/books/22BOOK.html (registration required).

"Parenthetically Ms. Sheehy notes that the slang word 'doozy,' meaning 'a stunning example, a wow,' was inspired by [actress Eleanora] Duse."

[Hyperelastic]

Originally posted by DesertGeezer

People who sell houses are real-tors (two syllables), not ree-la-tors (three).


People who sell houses are real estate agents.

[Largo62]

Originally posted by Phase42
I'm actually board with this topic ;)
Guess that explains your plank stare. :p

[Hinten]

Lisa-go-Blind

All I have to say is 'here, here'!

[Mighty_Girl]

Originally posted by DesertGeezer
Guess that explains your plank stare. :p You mean plank stair.

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

Ewe mien: prankster.

[Redboss]

A beautiful explanation. My hat's off to you.

Redboss

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

(Blushing furiously) Aw, shucks, Mister -- twarn't nuthin'. Jest doin' my job. (Ducking head; foolish grin)

[Kaitlyn]

I'm going to contribute to this thread as soon as I get myself a cold ice tea and take of my watch. I don't like wearing jewlery while typing, most of us atheletes don't. In any case, my tenatiousness won't permit me to stop let this go.

[CanvasShoes]

Originally posted by Hinten
Lisa-go-Blind

All I have to say is 'here, here'!

Okay 'here' I am!!!!

What/??? :D

[manx]

So, grammar Nazis, a little help if you please?

When I say 'She'll look at you weird', that's incorrect, no? But then, 'She'll look at you weirdly' sounds awful. Should I just take the cowards route and say, 'She will look at you as though you are a thing that is weird'.

I ask because I had a half hour bus trip debating this with my friend, who is a grammar fanatic. I'm sure the bus was entertained.

Also, pluralising things with apostrophes. Help. Is it -

One grammar nazi, two grammar nazis. (nazies?).
The grammar nazi’s pen; the grammar nazi’s pens, the grammar nazis' pens.

Oh english grammar. So confusing, so much fun.

[BuckleberryFerry]

Your apostrophes are perfect in your example. However, where you have "cowards," you should have "coward's," and that sentance should end in a question mark.

It should be "She'll look at you weirdly," but if that sounds off-kilter to you, try "She'll look at you oddly."

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

How about: "She'll give you a weird look"?

One grammar Nazi; two grammar Nazis. Yeh, I'd cap it, even used generically rather than referring to a genuine party member.

The grammar Nazi's pen; the grammar Nazis' pens.

One flurry; two flurries. BUT proper nouns that end in -y keep the -y when pluralized. Thus: one treasury, two treasuries; but the U.S. Treasury; U.S. Treasurys (meaning bonds).

Also, Smith's house (the house of Mr. Smith) but the Smiths' house (the house of the Smith family).

Thus endeth the lesson for today.

[NoCoolUserName]

I cannot believe that no one--NO ONE--has brought up "affect" and "effect." Sheesh, whata bunch of Kreetuns.

And pretty much everybody I know gives me a weird look when I start talking grammar--except my SO who just sneers. It's just not cool to expect people to use the language correctly.

Originally posted by emilyforce
Ah, such memories... I once wrote a paper in grad school that got my ass canned.
Then there are the reading errors. I saw "got my ass caned" and had to go take a cold shower.

Mighty_Girl, could one ask what your birth language is? How is your spoken English? I'm trying to learn Chinese--50 years too late--and I'd like to think that I have some hope...

[Manatee]

Originally posted by Libertarian
Pre-Madonna? :eek: I've never seen that one before!

Yep. I get a couple a year from my students.

Most of whom are post-Madonna, so maybe they don't know better.

[Mama Tiger]

As a court reporter, we fight with crossed swords at dawn over things like how to pluralize in a truly verbatim way -- is it, "I went to the Jones' house," or to convey the way it's actually spoken, is it "I went to the Joneses' house"? I doubt anyone will ever issue a final ruling, on that OR the serial comma. And the issue of whether y'all is really a word is strictly a Mason-Dixon debate. I say when someone says y'all, it's silly to put you all. They didn't SAY you all. No self-respecting Southerner would.

But I digress. In the weird v. wierd, I offer this extended version of an old rhyme that for some useless reason I committed to memory years ago, and can now remember easily even though I forget my childrens' names and telephone number regularly:

I before E except after C
or when sounded as A in neighbor and weigh.
But their, weird, and either,
foreign, seize, neither,
leisure, forfeit, and height
are exceptions spelled right.

[El Cid Viscoso]

How's this? Got a great letter of reference, right out of college, from a charity for which I'd worked for more than 7 years.

From the Regional Director, 4th down the food chain for the state: "He's been an intrical part of our team, for both the Telethon and the summer camp."

Talk about moral dilemma and a bottle of Wite-Out... to go...

[Largo62]

How many people pronounce heinous as "hee-nee-us" instead of correctly as "hay-nus"?

How about singular plurals like a stimuli?

My teeth grind as if I were hearing someone sing off key.













I'm much too sensitive. I know! :p

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

"Affect" versus "effect" -- oh, don't get me started!

The house belonging to the Jones family would be "the Joneses' house" because "Joneses" is the plural of "Jones" following the rule that words ending in -s are pluralized with -es. I agree, it looks hideous, which is probably why I have to keep making that correction in the transcripts of certain court reporters whom I work for. Ah, Mama Tiger: It's hard enough being a court reporter and taking that sludge; how'd you like to be the proofreader who reads for a dozen-plus reporters???? At least I don't have to spend the day with the actual lawyers and witnesses. :)

There are days when I think, if I see "criteria" treated as a singular one more time, I'll go berserk and commit hara-kiri with my red pen. And since court reporting is verbatim (okay, Mama Tiger, we won't open THAT can of worms here, huh?) it has to be left as is. :mad: I've given up on "data" as a singular.

[amarone]

Disinterested. Especially in cases such as "the player appealed to the umpire who was disinterested." Of course he was - umpires are supposed to be impartial. He was probably uninterested in the appeal.

Sign on a local bank: "Not to big, not to small". I want to go add "Not to good at spelling".

One that seems common in America: use of the plural form instead of singular when the plural ends in "a". From a letter sent home from my son's school: "The criteria is...". You also see/hear "The bacteria is" more than "The bacterium is". But being in the IT industry, I've given up on data/datum.

[BiblioCat]

Originally posted by Manatee
Most of whom are post-Madonna, so maybe they don't know better. My 15-year-old daughter was writing a book report for her summer reading book, and asked me from the other room if *that word* was two separate words or if it was hyphenated. I had remembered posters mentioning this incorrect usage a couple of times on this board and was dying to know if she was using it the right way or not. When she brought me her paper to proofread, you have no idea how happy I was to see it was "prima donna."

She reads a lot, though. I'm convinced avid readers have a big advantage over those who never read.

[El Cid Viscoso]

So is Pat Benatar a pre-madonna? I hope she can have a positive affect on the music seen with her knew cd's.

(I feel sic just writing this.)

[Rilchiam]

Originally posted by mojave66
Hi, I'm Mojave66. Care for a cookie? Baked them myself.

I'm from a desert. I bring dessert.

On that note:

If you're shipwrecked, you may end up on a deserted island (wishing you had some dessert, among other things), but not a desert island. If it's near water, it can't be a desert.

[Shade]

Dictionary.com: des·ert1 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (dzrt)
n.

1. A barren or desolate area, especially:
1. A dry, often sandy region of little rainfall, extreme temperatures, and sparse vegetation.
2. A region of permanent cold that is largely or entirely devoid of life.
3. An apparently lifeless area of water.
2. An empty or forsaken place; a wasteland: a cultural desert.
3. Archaic. A wild, uncultivated, and uninhabited region.


adj.

1. Of, relating to, characteristic of, or inhabiting a desert: desert fauna.
2. Barren and uninhabited; desolate: a desert island.OK, this definition is obviously wrong then, but what is the definiton of 'desert'? If I'd had to guess it would have been something to do with annual rainfall, but apparently not. Is it just 'dry'??

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

ACK!!!! Here I am, minding my own business, proofreading a transcript and trying desperately not to be driven mad by the attorneys' childish bickering. They've reached the point (and it's only page 46 of 174) of fighting about who's making personal insults. Isn't that bad enough, with adding a mistranslated idiom? Please, it's "stock in trade", not "stock and trade".

[El Cid Viscoso]

What about "jury-rigged?"

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

:D Not something one should indulge in on dry land. :D

On the high seas, a jury rig is "Temporary and makeshift rig in place of rigging carried away or lost." (Dictionary of Nautical Words and Terms by CWT Layton, Master Mariner)

I'm trying to whomp up a way to pun that back into your court, Mr. B, but so far I'm becalmed.

[El Cid Viscoso]

Well, I'm pooped; seems I was belayed to the mast of ignorance by a tautological line.

[Apollyon]

Originally posted by BiblioCat
She reads a lot, though. I'm convinced avid readers have a big advantage over those who never read. Oh, indubitably! A number of posters have mentioned that some of the common errors arise from hearing rather than seeing the term -- "would of" being a prime example.

In reading one gets to observe the phrase in its native habitat, surrounded by context, and learns how it should be used -- or indeed intentionally misused for dramatic or comedic effect. Deliberately turning prima donna into Pre-Madonna to "turn a phrase", would be funny... thinking it was the correct phrasing would be unfortunate. :)

[racinchikki]

Originally posted by Hyperelastic
This may be of interest to you:

http://nytimes.com/2003/08/22/books/22BOOK.html (registration required).

"Parenthetically Ms. Sheehy notes that the slang word 'doozy,' meaning 'a stunning example, a wow,' was inspired by [actress Eleanora] Duse." Gosh - I'd always thought it came from Duesenberg automobiles. However, a quick check proved me wrong. Apparently, that's a fairly popular bit of misinformation, although the word predates the car by two or three decades.

And Rilchiam, of this, at least, I am certain: you are only half right about "desert islands." That is the proper phrase as it was used a couple centuries ago and thence passed into common usage, although it does spring from a funky conjugation of the word "deserted," and does mean "uninhabited" as opposed to "bare and sandy." And then, of course, there is Mount Desert Island...

I once had a very involved argument with a friend over "abound." She said "The monkeys were a bound!" No, the monkeys abounded. We went in circles for twenty minutes until I found the dictionary.

I'd rather forget the time the grocery store put up a sign announcing the anticipated opening of a branch of the local Bank Entrust.

[sailor]

Originally posted by everton
But if I hear "fine toothcomb" one more time someone's going to get their fine teeth punched down their throat. everton, meet susanann (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&postid=3891282#post3891282). And, you are not alone (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=151792).

[kabbes]

Originally posted by Lisa-go-Blind
On a similar note, writing (sp?) after a word grates on my nerves. If you're uncertain about the spelling, either take the ten seconds to look it up or leave it misspelled and just not draw attention to it! You can say it was just a typo! Unless it's something that cannot be verified quickly (such as the spelling of a friend's unusual last name), it looks lazy and weakens your argument. Note the date of this very rant by yours truly. Plus ça change...

pan

[kabbes]

Oh pant's (sp?). Lettuce tri that agin (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=73232)

[Annie-Xmas]

Originally posted by spooje
Anyone mentioned gorilla warfare? I don't know how long I thought that's what they were saying.

"What's this got to do with gorillas?"

I first heard this phase during the Vietnam war. I did think we were fighting gorillas in the jungle.

Speaking of "atheists," there's no such thing as a "diety." Not even a skinny god qualifies.

[The Ryan]

Something that I've noticed is that some people don't know when to drop their e's. The most common example is "truely", but there have been others. Then there's also "shoe-in" and confusion between "phase" and "faze". I'd also like to mention a company's motto which I found ironic. I don't remember the company or the motto, but it was something about the importance of knowlege. As for "desert island", it's theoretically possible for an island to not get rain (although if it's small, it would quite odd). Precipitation is the determining factor, not presence of water. Antartica (sp :) ) is technically a desert, even though it's covered in water.

Desert Geezer
It's jew-el-ry, not jew-le-ry.
What about jewl-ry? Is that acceptable?

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

Jewelry or jewellery (though the former is far more common). See http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=jewellery

[MidnightRadio]

I, too, often confuse "your" with "you're" and "their", "there", and "they're" when typing, although I know the correct usages of all five words. I think this is pretty common. But that's why I proofread.

Originally posted by Icebrand
No, it's still redundant, just on a different level. Plus, you forgot the word about the goats.

Goats (http://www.ivillage.co.uk/food/news/fnews/articles/0,,164372_185931,00.html)?

[matt_mcl]

Heh. I always thought you got your "just desserts"; after all, that's how it's pronounced, and I figured it was metaphorical: dessert comes at the end of the meal, and your "just desserts" are what you get after your wrong-doing, usually at the end of the book ;) It didn't help that there are about eight million pastry shops called "Just Desserts."

It wasn't until I was much older that I found out it was "just deserts" - "deserts" meaning "what you deserve".

[El Cid Viscoso]

Think about this one -- a friend of mine out in Colorado started his own limo service. It wasn't until he'd printed up all his promotional materials, bought a domain and installed custom vanity plates that I realized he'd named his service "Beckon Call."

Seriously. Look it up.

[Stoid]

Whole Foods market scored new points with me yesterday when I noticed the sign read "12 items or fewer. " It gives me hope.

[amarone]

Originally posted by Stoid
Whole Foods market scored new points with me yesterday when I noticed the sign read "12 items or fewer. " It gives me hope. Around here, both Publix and Kroger say ".. or fewer". Wal*Mart, though, says "or less". It figures.

[El Cid Viscoso]

How about anti-speeding signs: "Watch your speed. We are." With an iconized picture of a plane...

[Hanayatori]

Originally posted by Lisa-go-Blind
Not angry enough, eh?

I can't believe these fucking asshats have already covered the fucking shit I was writing my goddamned post about! Fucking fucktards.



How's that, Icebrand? There's a reason I don't hang around too often in the Pit...

Asshats, what a great word! I love it!

[The Ryan]

Originally posted by EddyTeddyFreddy
Jewelry or jewellery (though the former is far more common). See http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=jewellery
You do realize that I was talking about pronunciation, not spelling, right?

Another grocery strore annoyance: "Pay just 2 for a dollar". It should be "Pay just a dollar for two". Unless they're buying food now.

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

Oops, no, I obviously didn't. :o Sorry!

Actually, while looking that up to check if my memory on the spelling was correct, I wasn't able to confirm whether the "jewellery" spelling was more common in the UK. Any Dopers from there able to enlighten me?

[Colophon]

Not just more common. The only way to spell it, for us Rightpondians.

[peasea]

Supposably, native speakers know the correct pronounciation and spelling of words. Irregardless, some definately need lessons.

[faithfool]

Noone anyone?

[kmg365]

Aren't you word nazis making much adieu about nothng though? Afterall...

"Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by itslef but the wrod as a wlohe."

[Happy Scrappy Hero Pup]

Ah. I was just giving a pal grief the other day about her use of "loose" to mean "misplace." My other favorite of hers is "woah" to mean "stop." I'm all for poetic license, but come on, sweetie. And as long as I'm here, let me give a couple more of my favorites.

1. There are singlular words that end in "s." I know it's crazy, but "the wages of sin is death" and "all politics is local."

2. The media is not biased. There are so many ways to yell about this one, I'm not going to bother trying to order my thoughts. People involved in one area of a certain medium might be biased. I'm willing to concede that. But destroying the rules of pluralization in order to express your knee-jerk reaction to a news story you don't like, and doing it by assigning bias to a concept makes me look around for the nearest bell tower.

3. I know I've lost this one, but I will NEVER type or write "alright." And you can shoot me if I do.

[Ryle Dup]

::smackhead::

I confess, I did it, I used to call it pre-Madonna. I never knew of prima donna, and to make it worse, I knew of the phrase "pre-Madonna" and "prima donna" at the same time, and I thought they were different things! Agh..

[Mister Rik]

I "love" it when newpapers can't bother to get slang right (in articles where such slang is appropriate, of course). For example, in an feature about the teenage gang problem:

"The gang members all wore matching blue dew-rags."

Sorry, Mr. Newswriter, that should be do-rag, as in a rag you wrap around your hairdo.