Words you don't want to appear in your eulogy

[gallows fodder]

razor
plastic bag
fontina cheese
dry rot
"accident" (with finger quotes)
sticky
Satan
back alley
clerical error
emoticon

[gallows fodder]

(PS. Add your own!)

[Aholibah]

reckless
tragically ill-conceived
rollerblade
dental floss
scraper
vomit-strewn

[lost4life]

Loser
Deadbeat
Vanilla Ice
Sheep
Axe
Dental Records
Hot Widow
Semprini

[Bruce_Daddy]

sexual
auto-erotic asphyxiation
toilet
colon
sandwich

[js_africanus]

Anal
Sex
Fiasco (in that order)

Also:

Hitler-riffic

[rockle]

debt
chicken neck(s)
alleged
forget
gizzard
tree nut allergy
regret
Easton Area High School Class of 1992
spelling error(s)

[lieu]

wolfpack
peckerhead
dayglow

[Blackclaw]

Perhaps it's for the best

I regret it was not me who killed him

We're all going to miss ole' what's-his-name

A part of him will always be with us. At least untill someone comes up with a better carpet cleaner.

I can't believe we lost him. Who puts wheels on a casket anyway?

[Giraffe]

I don't know about words, but here's a phrase I'd really like to avoid:

"proctologists worked around the clock in an attempt to extract the rhino's horn, but unfortunately it was too late."

[gallows fodder]

proctologist
gynecologist
Communist
UB40
WD-40
duct tape
linoleum
sales representative
beef

[UrbanChic]

Nice
Kind-hearted
Pleasant
Sweet

[Fish Cheer]

deliverance
mercy

[Fish Cheer]

The abrupt, hull- (and lung-)crushing pressure rise might prove unhealthy, I WAG.

[Fish Cheer]

And now this belongs to a completely different thread.

But it's somehow fitting in here, too.

[lieu]

"Area diners were understandable dismayed by the news."

[verbenabeast]

f*cker got what he deserved

[Beadalin]

Rabid
Nyarlathotep
Gradually starved
Fundamentally flawed
End-stage Alzheimer's
Necrophilia
"Though her remains were never found..."

[gotpasswords]

Let us pray
fuzzy sweater
Jesse Helms
sanitary napkins
Barbie dolls
head snapped off in the chiropractor's hands
two turntables and a microphone

[CanvasShoes]

The last words you'll ever hear a redneck say:

"Hey y'all, watch THIUS"!

[Max Torque]

gruesomely
prolonged
excruciating

[Treviathan]

eviscerated
illuminati
giant squid
holepunch
unidentifiable
American Idol
"viva la resistance"
brutalized

[Scuba_Ben]

nothosonomia (my favorite silly word)
defenestrate (my second favorite)

[Freiheit]

Boner.

[Mehitabel]

Unidentified.
Missed potential.
Scandalous.
Notorious.
"front page of the New York Post"

[elfje]

God

[Monstre]

burned beyond recognition
disemboweled
smarmy little git
pink tutu
Monica Lewinsky

[Age Quod Agis]

flesh-eating
not euthanized
Uday/Qusay
ahomosezwhat
Oedipal
married Rosanne Barr
". . . in limerick form . . ."
spanking
interpretive dance
Suge Knight
ass pubes

[lieu]

whiff

[Uncommon Sense]

Mangled
Plethora
High speed shredder
Unprecedented

[ForgottenLore]

died young
slaphappy
dental records

[ForgottenLore]

Oh yeah, and "never recovered"

[whiterabbit]

Seriously -- "passed" or "passed away". I'm DEAD, dammit. Use the word DEAD.

[Leaper]

Forgettable
Empty room
Loathed
Strangely hilarious
Lingering
Still missing
Bits and pieces
Rotted
Gory
Malpractice

[NoClueBoy]

Gotcha ya!

[jackelope]

"debt-free"

[drewbert]

"Well, I had this eulogy prepared, but I feel kindof funny giving a speech to just two people..."

[CharlesW]

Originally posted by Blackclaw

I can't believe we lost him. Who puts wheels on a casket anyway?

I would laugh myself to death if this was in my eulogy. Can't you see a casket (open of course) rolling down a hill, through the middle of town, and into the middle of a large parade where it gets caught on one of the floats, and is dragged the entire way?

[NoClueBoy]

Charles, I have a picture in my mind of a Benny Hill skit with that manic kazzoo music. Priceless!

[Fuji Kitakyusho]

Words you don't want to appear in your eulogy

exume

[Nvme77]

lipo accident
hair chameleon
mirror free home
talkative
knowledgable(smart ass)

ornery
hirsute
suffocated in her own neck fat
drove her husband to an early death
tireless storyteller
opinionated
sweet
nice
alcohol
former stripper

[TheFunkySpaceCowboy]

...wasn't found until neighbors called about the stench
sorry about the necrophillia
hubris
severed testicals found in blender
infomercial
bowling pin covered in KY jelly
god's will

[Rabid_Squirrel]

- Went Peacefully (Not if I have a say in the matter...)
- God/Jesus/Big Bearded Giant in the Sky
- Livestock
- "Horrible sexual accident"
- "His doctor laughed at/when..."
- Dingleberry

[KeithT]

Wild boars
Excruciating
Gerbil
1920's style "Death Rays"
Oboe
Untimely
Pilot error

[Shirley Ujest]

under-medicated

White Snake

Jarts

Cristi Lane

Pauli Shore

Biniki

[Petrichor]

Donkey incident
Encrusted
Cthulhu
Liquefied
Zombie curse
Monkey death squad

[Satisfying Andy Licious]

Looking back, I'm not sure I want my eulogy to be mentioned in my eulogy.

[Angel Heart]

"Darwin Award Candidate"
Impalment
Intestinal extrusion
Shattered
Trampled
"I didn't know that could end up there"
"Ax-wielding maniac"
"Sharkbait"

[don't ask]

With due respect for the OP I'd be happy without

gallows or fodder

[hardygrrl]

Swarm of Fez Wearing Monkeys

Huricarana Gone Bad

Rabbit Pearl

Buff Bagwell

Wearing a Cardinals Hat

[matt_mcl]

"I didn't have the honour of knowing Matthew personally, but he was a man who, above all, loved life."

[matt_mcl]

Oh, and:

"complications from pneumonia"
"long-time companion"

[Sunspace]

"snow snake"
"snipe hunt"
"lawnchair accident"
"after the tribunal decided his fate..."
"irresponsible genetic dissemination"
"still looking for relatives"
"sad but well-deserved fate"
"Dad? What's on TV tonight?"
"Glad that's over. I wonder how the fish are doing?"
"YIPPEE!!! Now we can Par-Tay!!!"

[Horseflesh]

CSI
hampster
Anna Nicole Smith
Weekend at Horseflesh's
You may now kiss the bride
He owes me money
lardass
All your base are belong to us
turdburger
lungfish
Placido Domingo
biological hazard

And the #1 word:
Eskimo

[Horseflesh]

Oops, forgot these nuggets:

groovy
You gonna eat that?
elevator shaft
zombie
vampire
butterscotch pudding

[Satisfying Andy Licious]

explosive decompression

[Sm:)e]

dirty underwear

[misstee]

Originally posted by Horseflesh
butterscotch pudding [/B]




[hijack] you are soooo going down [end hijack]






and I would not want the phrase "half eaten corpse " any where in my eulogy

[Bullwinkle]

Owners Manual

Tornado

Viagra

Excruciating

Laughingstock

[kniz]

Saved
Sins
a better place
Judgement Day

[Saitou]

rabid geese
good riddance
fishing hooks
splintered
sticking out of his anus
carmina burana
captured on film
puss filled cyst
herbie went bananas
scraped
from a poem written by keeanu reeves

[peritrochoid]

lotion
compromising position
"... before the cops got him."
"After long suffering ..." :eek:
nice guy
explosive diarrhea
oops
Cher
Barney
Power Ranger (or anyting-ranger, for that matter)
"... fell off the curb ..."
shotgun
redneck
four-wheelin'
tuba fower (say it out-loud and say it fast ... hick-speak for 2x4)
steamroller
NASCAR
"... hit by a performer at the airshow ..."
streaking

[Earthworm Jim]

Autocoprophiliac.

[WortMeWorry]

brown shirt
hemmoragic fever
colonic irrigation
" ... identified by his dental records..."
salmon mousse
burned to a crisp
dung beetles
banjo accident
"... 150 feet of smoking wreckage..."

[The Man With The Golden Gun]

Anything in l33t5p3@k.

[mascaroni]

2003

[hebesphenomegacorona]

OOGY SHOOGY MOOBY!

[Engineer Dude]

"Julia Roberts"
"Half-eaten carcass"
"mangled"
"contorted"
"He never scored."

[Oy!]

"tragic laundry basket incident"

[wolf_meister]

... frequent customer points with Heidi Fleiss and company ...

... innumerable inflatable love dolls...

... Barry Manilow Fan Club President ...

... uncontrollable flatulence ...

... tragic croquet riot ...

... Badminton Hall of Fame ...

... ever-present Viagra bottle ...

... world's largest Liberace CD collection ...

... tragic Chia Pet™ accident ...

... always confounded by the Clapper™ ...

... owned Arena Football Season Tickets ...

... the living room was a shrine to Tyne Daly ...

... restraining orders issued by Sandra Bullock, Halle Berry, Gwyneth Paltrow ...

... succeeded in developing the artificial appendix ...

... involuntary celibacy ...

... World Wrestling fanatic !!! ...

[Eternal]

"Failed to achieve his plan for immortality."

[Blackdragon]

nice-guy
sweet
microsoft
Zip-21
dangling
childless
divorced
spiders
scars
teeth
psorosis
John Doe
loved by all
Giant

[dogbutler]

Choked to death during auto-fellatio
botched alien anal probe
gee,his pets didn't leave much....

[look!ninjas]

chipper shredder

[js_africanus]

Originally posted by dogbutler
Choked to death during auto-fellatio
Some might consider that an honorable death.