View Full Version : Are your kids doing drugs?(Dept. of Roflmao)
Um, yeah, my local ABC affiliate just had a 1-minute spot talking about how you could tell if your kids were doing drugs.
And what they said was, basically, that you can tell if your kids are doing drugs, because they'll get really sloppy, and start leaving stuff lying around the house.
So, has anybody else heard this?
Is it true? :eek:
"Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!" - the White Queen
04-12-2000, 07:11 AM
By that definition, I'm doing drugs.
This is getting hard. Somebody relieve me. (A Wallian exclamation)
04-12-2000, 07:18 AM
Does this mean my parents are junkies too?
04-12-2000, 07:19 AM
Damn. Tap my arm and call me Robert Downey Junior, 'cause it appears I'm a junkie!
A little persistance goes a long way. Announcing:
"I go on guilt trips a couple of time a year. Mom books them for me." A custom made Wally .sig!
04-12-2000, 08:22 AM
I've heard those listed with these other clues that your teen is on drugs:
change in appearance
hmmmm, with this rational 100% of the teens must be doing it
04-12-2000, 08:28 AM
And all this time money has been wasted on blood and urine tests.
"Words fascinate me. They always have. For me, browsing in a dictionary is like being turned loose in a bank." - Eddie Cantor
04-12-2000, 08:49 AM
I'm sorry, that belongs in the ROFLMAOPIMP dept. You'll have to re-register.
I guess 99.9% of teenagers must be doing drugs. We better lock up my 6yo and my husband, too. Get them to rehab. They are obviously using drugs by this criteria.
Not only is my daughter sloppy, but she just eats and sleeps all day. No job prospects at all. She must be on drugs.
And don't give me the excuse that she's only 3 weeks old. :D
Wrong thinking is punished, right thinking is just as swiftly rewarded. You'll find it an effective combination.
04-12-2000, 10:07 AM
I agree--if these are your criteria, just call me Keith Richards.
"Seriously, baby, I can prescribe anything I want!" -Dr. Nick Riviera
04-12-2000, 10:09 AM
Gotta love statistics :rolleyes:
If "knowledge is power," why does stupidity reign?
04-12-2000, 10:10 AM
::Entering my 12 year old room::
"Your a junkie! A junkie! Look at all this junk! Clean your room or I'll give a smack. What do you mean you want some smack!"
04-12-2000, 10:11 AM
Above should read: Entering my 12 year old's room.
04-12-2000, 10:18 AM
Apparently my dog is on drugs.
04-12-2000, 10:21 AM
GB - yours too? I tell ya, it must be the other dogs they're hanging with...
Think we should do an "intervention"? ROFLMAO
04-12-2000, 10:26 AM
This reminds me of a page my sister once sent me out of Weekly World News. The headline is "The Top 5 Signs of Demon Possesion!" My sister's post it note said "Mom qualifies for all 5. You get the garlic, I'll find a priest." It now hangs proudly on my refrigerator. They are:
2.) Unexplained ichiness
4.) Mood Swings
5.) Stomach aches (or something, I can't remember the last one. I'll post it from home tonight.)
Hey, apparently I am not only doing drugs, but I'm possessed by a demon. Or perhaps I'm just possessed by a demon who does drugs?
Your Official Cat Goddess since 10/20/99.
I just washed my cat. It'll take me hours to get the hairs off my tongue.
--100% certified genuine WallyM7™ sig
04-12-2000, 09:40 PM
How ironic that as I am attempting to rid myself of the demon nicotine, that I have the same symptoms as someone who is getting posessed...
TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING:
Four days, 37 minutes and 13 seconds.
161 cigarettes not smoked, saving $20.13.
Life saved: 13 hours, 25 minutes.
04-12-2000, 11:43 PM
Well if this is true I am on drugs. Also if this is true, my cat, dog, parents, all of my friends, and my sister are on drugs.
04-12-2000, 11:55 PM
Whew! At least I know my wife is not doing drugs. She's so neat that she makes my half of the bed when I get up at night to go to the bathroom. What a relief!
Cecil said it. I believe it. That settles it.
04-13-2000, 12:07 AM
Let me tell you a story about something that happened to me in high school. Back then, I fit the profile of a heroin junkie to a T. Still do, actually. The disheveled appearance, the pale skin, the extreme thinness, the facial tics (actually, that's probably more of a crystal meth thing, but it sure didn't help my cause), the scar on my arm after I started donating plasma... it all added up to one inescapable, unavoidable, and wholly incorrect answer: drug abuse. I was clean as a whistle back then (and I still am, thank you very much), but I caught the whispers in the halls, and occasionally, someone would ask me to refer them to my dealer.
Anyhow, it seems the guidance counselors at my school were paying inordinate attention to me. Every day, it was "And how are you feeling today, Chrissie?" and "Are you feeling okay?" and "If you have any problems, you know who to see." I monitored their behavior. They were amicable with the student body, as guidance counselors should be, but as soon as they saw me, they immediately seemed to want to put in a friendly word. They'd let other students pass by, but they never let me.
The clincher came one day. Over the summer, I had failed to remove a splinter from my foot in a timely fashion, and a painful infection had developed. Then one day during the fall, I stepped on a needle with my good foot. Between the festering abcess on one foot, and the painful wound on the other, I was forced to limp along in a most undignified fashion. So, I got to school, limped to all my classes, and was limping to lunch when I was spied by a counselor, who true to form, dropped everything to voice his concern.
GC: "You appear to have something of a limp today"
NTG: "Yes, I stepped on a needle last night, you see, and..."
GC: "Oh my god! Did you go to the hospital?"
NTG: "Uh, no..."
GC: "You need to go to the hospital! It might be infected!"
NTG: "I don't think it's infected, I cleaned the wound and everything, it just hurts."
GC: "You could have caught some disease from it!"
NTG: "From a sewing needle?"
GC: "Oh, a SEWING needle! What a relief! I thought you stepped on a HYPODERMIC needle!"
Jumping to conclusions, anyone? I spent several hours after that trying to rationalize some sort of excuse for him that involved a perfectly good reason I might have hypodermics lying carelessly about that didn't involve illicit drug use, but none came to me. It definitely explained their preoccupation with my well-being. That and my coming out of the closet and all, but I don't think they even knew about that. I just looked like a walking drug addiction, I guess. I could have pointed them to a dozen other kids with real problems, or if I wasn't to cynical about everything by that point, enlightened them as to some of mine, but... Oh, well. Glad to see things haven't changed since then...
Heck is where you go when you don't believe in Gosh.
04-13-2000, 12:25 AM
I'm so sloppy I can find my drugs . :)
04-13-2000, 02:19 AM
Should that be I cann't find my drugs ??
I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail.
04-13-2000, 03:33 AM
I am a junkie, my kids are junkies, even my *gasp* MIL is a junkie.
What will I do, I have even passed all my military 'operation golden flow' tests. You mean, they are all wrong, maybe I should let the government know. :)
Hand me that wrench. No, the one that looks like a hammer.
Sig Courtesy of Walley
04-13-2000, 08:37 AM
When I was a senior in HS, the freshmen Goth kids had taken to putting red eye shadow around their eyes. I finally blew up one day in the lobby: "What, they lack the BALLS to become real heroin addicts, but the whole smack-chic thing really appeals to them, so they freakin' wear MAKE-UP to look like herion addicts? God, if you lack the conviction to become a real drug user, don't try and pull off the look!"
Freshmen feared me. :D Come to think of it, a lot of people feared me. HAH!
Ps: Mood swings wasn't one of the symptoms, I forgot to write them down. But Unexplained fatigue was on there, as well as insomnia.
04-13-2000, 10:19 AM
This reminds me of a psychology experiment I read about in college.
Graduate students went to mental health institutions and asked to be checked in. The only symptom they reported was "I hear voices." After getting in, they stopped "hearing voices" and acted perfectly normal in every way. Some were soon released, but several were held for days, even weeks, as the shrinks attributed various symptoms of mental illness to them.
In one case, the doctor observed the "patient" engaging in such inappropriate behaviors as "note-taking." The doctor, of course, was taking notes of this bizarre activity.
This was in the 60's. These days, the pendulum has swung to the opposite extreme. They generally hold folks for 24 hours and you gotta be outrageously whacko to be held any longer. It's actually quite difficult to get committed, which is part of the reason for the increase in the homeless population.
04-13-2000, 10:31 AM
Oh, and one more thing:
I can back up the above folks who've seen these lists of "tell-tale signs" of drug abuse.
I distinctly remember one of these pamphlets in the late 70s. Among the symptoms:
change in appetite
change in sleeping patterns
change in appearance
I remember thinking:
"This is a description of adolescence."
04-14-2000, 12:10 AM
Gee, I'm tidy, I don't leave stuff lying around, I'm not particularly moody, my appearance hasn't changed much in the last year, and I have a normal appetite.
I guess I must never do drugs! ;)
vBulletin® v3.7.3, Copyright ©2000-2013, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.