James Tiberius Kirk vs. Seven of Nine

[JThunder]

Well? Who would win in this momentous encounter? What manner of conflict would ensue?

Any guesses?



Anyone?

[Cervaise]

The fistfight would be an even match, but then Kirk would grab Seven of Nine by the shoulders and kiss her hard, she would melt, and then he would fuck her into submission.

[Mr. Babbington]

Originally posted by Cervaise
The fistfight would be an even match, but then Kirk would grab Seven of Nine by the shoulders and kiss her hard, she would melt, and then he would fuck her into submission.


Damn it to Hell. That's what I was going to say. But on further reflection, She might assimilate him, and turn him into her sex slave. He's got the weird robotic inflection down....

[Monstre]

Seven: Put down your weapon. Comply!

Kirk: Spock! Those ARE...! nice. ... gazongas!

[Already in Use]

I have nothing really to add to this thread except that I can't decide which is a better middle name, "Tiberius" or "Of."

[blowero]

Are you kidding? He already fucked her before you even started the thread.

Spock...I...thinkI'minlove...with...Seven...ofNine.

[kingpengvin]

Love has nothing to do with it. Kirk uses sex as a weapon. Of course because she works on logic and is part computer he could do his computer mezmarism thing.

"YOU are not PROGRAMED to hate!"
"Why are you insisting on such banal banter"
"as a HUMAN YOU can hate!"
"I am Borg I do not hate"
"but YOU are HUman!"
"I am Borg"
"But part OF you is HUman doesn't THAT part of YOU feel anything!"
"I am begining to feel slight hatred towards you!"
"Because You LOVE!"
"That makes no sense."
"YOU need to HATE to cover your LOVE!"
"You are now speaking illogical gibberish!"
"I LOVE you!"
"That is not possible the human emotion of love requires a certain familiarity between both parties and...."
"I LOVE YOU!"
"This conversation serves no purpose."
"Because I HATE you!"
"What?"
HE KISSES HER
"Why did you do that"
"To Thank YOU."
KIRK DOES IT AGAIN
"Stop none of this makes sense I......I want you to thank me again!"
SHE GRABS HIM AND GIVES HIM A BIG KISS AS TEH STRINGS SWELL AND THE VASALINE SMEARS OVER THE LENSE SOFTENING HER UP!

He soon leaves breaking her implanted Heart pump.

[FabioClone]

They both win. During the fight, Seven would make the inevitable mistake of tearing the fabric of Kirk's shirt. As we all know, nothing can stop Ripped-Shirt Kirk.
On the other hand, Seven's nanites can do anything. If she can use them to cure disease, walk through forcefields, commune with alien technology, destroy inter-dimensional threats, and bring back the dead, she should have no trouble using them to defeat one man. So we clearly have a situation in which they both win, no doubt creating some sort of temporal paradox.

Or they simply fuck each other's brains out. Either way, both win.

[BrotherCadfael]

Simple. He seduces her into betraying the entire Borg collective, and humanity is saved.

A better plot than Star Trek V.

[Eonwe]

Nice dialogue, kingpengvin

[Zebra]

Please,

Kirk would leave Seven of Nine stranded on some rock, tired and preggers.


Like he did all the rest of them.

[caveman]

Oh, come on! Seven would give it up so fast, JTK wouldn't have time to get is space-trousers off...

[NoClueBoy]

She would ASS- imilate him

He would go where no man has gone before

The Spice Channel would get the syndication rights

Space seed would be everywhere (so sorry for the pun)


everybody wins! :)

[Ephemera]

Where no man has gone before? :dubious:

[NoClueBoy]

Originally posted by Aesiron
Where no man has gone before? :dubious:


Though there is anecdotal evidence for Borg sexual reproduction (episodes where we see Borg Babies™), the primary function of Borg is to seek the Omega particle and to assimilate others into The Collective.

There is no evidence, anecdotal or otherwise, to suggest that Borg engage in sexual congress for recreation, or that 7 of 9 was ever used for reproductive duties.

Additionally, the implication in my post was in regard to anal copulation (sodomy), in other words, fucking her in the ass.

For further discussion of Borg sexual procreation and/or recreation, see Borg, I Burning Your Box by the alien sexuality expert Charles Tucker III.

[Lord Ashtar]

Originally posted by NoClueBoy
There is no evidence, anecdotal or otherwise, to suggest that Borg engage in sexual congress for recreation, or that 7 of 9 was ever used for reproductive duties.

I find it highly unlikely that she would have such a kick ass body if she had been used as a brood mare for the Borg collective.

[blowero]

Originally posted by FabioClone
Seven's nanites can do anything.
Yep, she's got quite a pair of nanites.:eek:

[BMalion]

"Norman...coordinate!!!"

[Ephemera]

Originally posted by NoClueBoy
..There is no evidence, anecdotal or otherwise, to suggest that Borg engage in sexual congress for recreation, or that 7 of 9 was ever used for reproductive duties..

Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix 01 may have never been used for breeding purposes but I find it unlikely that Seven never had sex in the four years she was among Voyager's crew.

[NoClueBoy]

Harry Kim had for the hots for her, but when she approached him about it, he shied away. No other romances (other than a strange story about the EMH and her being "Friends" which almost led to "something") were seen nor was she ever to talk of having recreational sex.

Part of her feeling of "No, I'll just stay behind when y'all go to Earth" was due to her failure to successfully interact with the rest of the crew, a point that was hammered home again and again. Janeway promised to help her in this regard.

Just because the actress is so hot doesn't mean the character was "experienced."

[JThunder]

Wait a minute... Are you guys seriously suggesting that Kirk would make the moves on 7/9?

[NoClueBoy]

Hell yeah!

[Ephemera]

Just for the record, I found B'ellana to be much more attractive than Seven and I'm not basing her experience on her percieved attractiveness. I just find it impossible to believe that with her dabbling in her humanity on a ship full of men, that she never had sex. Especially considering her forthrightness and that I'm in the minority concerning her appeal.

[NoClueBoy]

It's just that it never spoken of, other than cites I already mentioned.

You know what that means to a Trek Doper.



Not canon

[capacitor]

Neither of them can defeat The Rock.

[NoClueBoy]

And, as far as her "dabbling in humanity," remember that it was a major character point for 7 of 9 that SHE DIDN'T FIT IN.

Constantly, tptb at Trek made this sickeningly clear. I agree, they should've provided a way for her to "be a girl," but instead, all they ever did was show how her being "different" both helped Janeway's Cause and was a point of uncomfortableness to Seven.


yeah, I'm a geek.

[Ephemera]

I'm not trying to say it's canon.. only that I personally believe she isn't a virgin.

Also, as far as canon goes, there are a few things I hold to be true despite never having been said on-screen. Joanna McCoy being the prime example.

[Ephemera]

NCB forfeits! I win!

[corndog man]

A scene with Kirk and 7 of 9, who could sit through the wooden acting of these two?

[Carnac the Magnificent!]

Originally posted by corndog man
A scene with Kirk and 7 of 9, who could sit through the wooden acting of these two?

The wood on the big screen would be no match for the wood in the audience.

[NoClueBoy]

Originally posted by Aesiron
NCB forfeits! I win!

I didn't forfeit. Your arguments have some value, but the main point is what you're overlooking.

The writers made the 7 of 9 character a fish out of water. She did not develope friendships. She avoided closeness with crew members. She exhibited an attitude toward them of conceit while internally she felt out of place.

THAT'S HOW THEY WROTE HER.

Extrapolating from that, you could go either way, sure. But the most logical conclusion to come to is that she didn't engage in ANY SORT of recreation with the crew, much less would she choose such an intimate act to "break the ice."

But, think what you want. You are Aes, the Illogical Trek Doper™.

:)

[Ephemera]

Originally posted by NoClueBoy
..Extrapolating from that, you could go either way, sure. But the most logical conclusion to come to is that she didn't engage in ANY SORT of recreation with the crew, much less would she choose such an intimate act to "break the ice."..

There are episodes wherein she does engage in recreation with the crew though. Her singing being a prime example.

Also, with her being inhuman (seeing as how she was raised by Borg), she would be unlikely to view sex as an intimate act and rather just something to do, either for procreation or for the sensation of it.

Who's to say that Kim was the only one to try and bed her? If there was another and he wasn't as gunshy, then Seven probably would have been just as ready and willing.

[Evil Captor]

My feeling is that Kirk was actually a warmer, more empathic captain than Janeway ever was. Janeway was always too proper, too formal. Kirk would find a way to make Seven of Nine fit in. He would find a way to make her feel accepted. He would find a way to make her feel his genitals from inside her own body.

And if that ain't canon, it oughtta be.

[NoClueBoy]

Yeah, EC, that pretty much wraps up my thoughts on this line of conjecture.

Whether or not she ever "did it" before, she would definitely "do it" with Kirk.

And, as I originally posted, he would do her in da butt.

Thus ends this great hijack as all agree to put down their weapons so as to encourage and enjoy the Greatest Love Of All™, the love of a good porn show.

Live long, and me love you long time

[boom chicka chicka waa waa chicka chicka...]

[Ephemera]

Okay, that I can agree with.

I was still right though

[Michael Ellis]

Originally posted by JThunder
Wait a minute... Are you guys seriously suggesting that Kirk would make the moves on 7/9?

Well I would, and so would Kirk. Even non-Trekkies know that.

[JThunder]

Why? Has Kirk done this sort of thing before?

[Dijon Warlock]

Originally posted by FabioClone
...nothing can stop Ripped-Shirt Kirk. Words to live by.

[lokij]

Originally posted by JThunder
Well? Who would win in this momentous encounter? What manner of conflict would ensue?

Any guesses?



Anyone?


I predict a close encounter of the Sensual kind. - (in a Zapp Branagan voice)

[Cervaise]

Originally posted by NoClueBoy
And, as I originally posted, he would do her in da butt.You're such a romantic. --swoon--

[Ranchoth]

Originally posted by NoClueBoy
I didn't forfeit. Your arguments have some value, but the main point is what you're overlooking.

The writers made the 7 of 9 character a fish out of water. She did not develope friendships. She avoided closeness with crew members. She exhibited an attitude toward them of conceit while internally she felt out of place.

THAT'S HOW THEY WROTE HER.

Extrapolating from that, you could go either way, sure. But the most logical conclusion to come to is that she didn't engage in ANY SORT of recreation with the crew, much less would she choose such an intimate act to "break the ice."


Mein gott! Does NO ONE remember Seven's actions in "Revulsion," her second "regular" episode? Kim had an obvious crush on her, and near the end of the episode, he asked her to stop by his quarters to review some personell files, or something like that.

Now, he had the lights dimmed, and I think even some "mood music" playing (I could be wrong about the music, it's been a long time) He didn't realy intend for anything to "happen" much beyond that point, but Seven quickly reads his biosigns, deducing that he has an "interest" in her. She asks if he's in love with her, and then, point blank, if he wishes to copulate. And then, I friggin quote...

7:"All of these elaborate rituals of deception... I didn't realize becoming human again would be such a challenge. Sexuality is particularly complex. As Borg, we had no need for seduction, no time for single-cell fertilization. We saw a species we wanted and we assimilated it...Nevertheless, I'm willing to explore my humanity. Take off your clothes."

Kim: Uh... Seven...

7: Don't be alarmed, I won't hurt you."



Now, forgive me if I'm being a neanderthal, but that seems a pretty clear enough statement of intention. (And Mr. Kim is either a class-A gentleman or a class-A weenie for "backing out." Most likely he's elements of both.)

Granted, this was early on in Seven's time on the series. And an early point in her character's development. But still, ladies and gentlemen, the scene is in the final episode.

And, I might add, in a much later episode, "Human Error"...

Seven gets a crush on Chakotay, and "experiments" with a relationship with the Commander by using holographic simulation of him. The relationship does, it is heavily implied, become sexual.




...and then, near the series finale, in an episode entitled, I believe, "Rick Berman Hates the Fans" ;), Seven and...Chakotay...actually do become a couple.

Now, even aside from the fact that Janeway and Seven would have made a much more believable couple, I humbly submit that if lame-ass freakkin'...Chakotay...was able to win Seven's heart, than James T. Kirk most certainly would be able to win her over. And, thus, winning the Seven vs. Kirk battle.

[Bryan Ekers]

It always kind of annoyed me that Seven and Tuvok never had sparks, if only purely intellectual ones.

Seven: I find myself growing annoyed with the constant insistance by the Doctor and the Captain that I "rediscover my humanity". Much of what I "discover" is disturbing and undesirable.

Tuvok: Indeed. Humans feel safest when surrounded by those of similar attitude. During my years of security work for Starfleet, I have observed that humans try to encourage human traits in nonhumans, and even human criminals attempt to corrupt those around them. Frankly, I find myself growing fatigued at Mr. Parris's and Neelix's constant attempts to make me display empotion. Their behaviour is presumptuous and rude.

Seven: From my readings of Federation history, I can't see any compelling reason for me to automatically settle on Earth, simply becuase of a trivial genetic imperative. Do you think I might be more suited to the more disciplined and ordered culture of Vulcan?

Tuvok: Possibly. Your intellectual skills and technical prowess would be of interest on Vulcan and there will be no attempt to force uncomfortable emotions from you.

Seven: I'll consider it. On a related note, if you feel the need to sate a Pon Farr imperative, simply invite me to your quarters. It may comfort you to know that with me, there will be no lasting emotional repercussions, regardless of what occurs.

Tuvok: Thank you. That is very civilized of you.


Okay, I admit this scene wouldn't be as compelling as seeing Torres in a sweaty undershirt, but all that sanctimonious crap about what it was to be human (when the definition was clearly limited to touch-feely California-esque New Age PC crap) got on my nerves.

[Ranchoth]

Kudos, Bryan.

[NoClueBoy]

Ranchoth, I mentioned the Harry Kim episode in an earlier post. Do try to keep up. :D


As for the Chakotay eps I saw, she still never did it with him. It was all wishful thinking. I don't recall an episode where they actually did become a couple. Can you provide a real episode name? (Though I love the fake name you chose.)

See, Aes? If wanted to make a point, you should do it like Ranchoth here, instead of acting like a 12 yr old (Did! Did not! Did, infinity, no take backs!) :p


Bryan, your scene reminds me of Sam and Diane...

Sam: "Are you as turned on as I am?"

Diane: "More!"

[smoochy woochy]

[NoClueBoy]

Maybe she just masturbated a lot. That would actually make a lot of sense, now that Ranch has reminded us of her rich fantasy life.

[Cervaise]

And she wouldn't even need to acquire a vibrator. She could simply extrude one from her palm. :p

[Ranchoth]

NCB: As far as I can tell, they officially became a couple in "Endgame part I," (http://216.239.41.104/search?q=cache:9gkevx4_jmMJ:startrek.epguides.info/%3FID%3D606+endgame+voyager+chakotay&hl=en&ie=UTF-8) the first part of Voyager's series finale. It was unclear if their relationship had become sexual by the end of "part II," but the time-traveling Admiral Janeway had revealed that, in her (unaltered) timeline, Seven and Chakotay were married at the time of Seven's death a few years in the future. It is perhaps reasonable to assume that they'd consumated their relationship by that time.

And yes, you DID mention that Seven/Harry "moment" in Revulsion, I might note that you didn't mention that Seven actually went so far as saying "Nevertheless, I'm willing to explore my humanity...take off your clothes."

[good natured ribbing] But it's a perfectly understandable omission on your part, considering what your position on the issue is...after all, like Twain said, "Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please." :p :D ;) [/good natured ribbing]

[FordPrefect]

Bryan Ekers I believe you missed your calling...

[Bryan Ekers]

Originally posted by FordPrefect
Bryan Ekers I believe you missed your calling...

Well, I have my fan fiction to take the edge off.

[NoClueBoy]

I love good natured ribbing! (The secret's in the sauce.)

I never saw the finale of VOY, Ranchoth. So, I find that very interesting. The Berman decided to make her human on the last freakin' episode?! Arrggh! After all that crap they threw at us from her capture on... Kinda weird, too. What with the unrequited love angle they kept spewing at us about Cakotay and Bitch Captain.

I still can't say Aes was right, though, 'cause the argument wasn't presented as neatly as yours, nor did he give any cites like you did. It was merely an unsupported guess. Sit on a Targ, Aes! :p


I may have to rent a DVD if the last season of VOY is out yet. Because now that I look at the synopsis of the shows, I don't recall a single one of them. Did I miss a whole season of VOY? :eek: Oh well

[FordPrefect]

At least you have that. Though, from what I hear you may have to put in a resume as a screen writer for Enterprise...

[Bryan Ekers]

Originally posted by FordPrefect
At least you have that. Though, from what I hear you may have to put in a resume as a screen writer for Enterprise...

Well, I dunno. One of my episodes would have been T'Pol lacing into Trip about all the bullshit he's pulled (including an actual mutiny in one episode, when Archer was off the ship and the human crew, led by Trip, flatly refused to follow T'Pol's orders, even though she is legally second-in-command).

It wouldn't exactly lend itself to the touchy-feely low-conflict crew Berman and Braga always seem to go for. I'd also like a conversation along the lines of:

Tucker: So the Captain's being held hostage (again). And you just want to leave him?
T'Pol: The Minbaroo warriors have a strict ethical system. They won't harm the Captain. In the meantime, we have a mission to perform.
Tucker: Forget the damn mission! That's our Captain down there.
T'Pol: I know. Prepare to break orbit.
Tucker: Belay that! Look, lady, I know you think you're smarter than the rest of us-
T'Pol: I do, and I am.
Tucker: Uh, well, sometimes you have to put aside the logic-
T'Pol: And sometimes you get placed in the brig.
Tucker: What I'm trying to say is-
T'Pol: I know, because I've heard it from you before. Let me say, in terms that you can understand, that I've saved your miserable lives on at least four occassions since this ship was deployed, and if you still don't trust me, I can only conclude that you are a danger to yourself and the crew. Mr. Malcolm, conduct Mr. Tucker to his quarters.
Tucker: Hey! You can't-
T'Pol: Be quiet. (drops Tucker with a nerve pinch)

[Ephemera]

That's actually a pretty good premise. I like it.