So what drink do I order tonight?

[even sven]

I'm new to this whole bar thing, but due to some strange circumstances I've been having weekly trips to the local bar. I'm very interested in looking sophisticated and exotic, fairly interested in a good strong drink (I'm a girl, but at home I sip my vodka neat, so little grosses me out except the Campari orange juice I ordered once- blech!) and most definately interested in trying something new, but I don't want to piss off the bartender too much by ordering something bizarre.

I'm not a big fan of whisky type things, but I'm cool with gin. I always appreciate seasonality, so a fall type drink would be good. But really it is all good.

So far my bar adventures have involved:

Tom Collins- yum, tastes like plants!
Gin and Tonic- Yum, tastes like fizzy plants!
Cosmopolitan- Blech, tastes like vomit.
Apple Martini- Yay, tastes like jolly ranchers!
Whisky Sour- Ewwww. Yuck.
Long Island Iced Tea- Yum. Ummm. Opps. Can't walk straight.
Margaritas- Yum. Yum. Yum.
Tequila Sunrise- Better after a couple margaritas, but good.
White Russian- Yum, I feel like the Big Lebowski.

Last time, I ordered a Singapore Sling. The whole adventure went something like this:

"I want a Singapore Sling" I casually say to the bartender, trying to look as exotic and sophisticated as possible. He looks at me funny. Damn.

"Well, now, havn't had that one for a while. I reckon I havn't made one of those since nineteen ninty-two" He mutters as he starts pulling mysterious bottles out from the darker recesses of the bar. He holds them up to the light, turns them, sighs, and puts them back. He starts pulling out strange metal impliments, and opening drawers that give forth clouds of dust. The other patrons at the bar start looking impatiant as he matters and walks back and forth across the room. "Used to be a time when everybody would order Singapore Slings. I'd make fifteen, maybe twenty of them a night! Oh yes, the Singapore Sling. I ought to remember how to make them....."

Amazing. To think, there once was an unsung golden age of the Singapore Sling. And I'm treading on it's nearly forgotten grave.

After a lot of controvery, a near fist fight with the other bartender, and a final consultation with "The Book", the bartender pours some stuff, shakes some stuff, and hands me a tall red drink topped with a cherry. It tastes like Cherry Seven Up. He looks at me expectantly.

"It's perfect!" I say, as if I've been slinging back Singapore Slings since I was twelve.

I've never had one in my life. I only ordered it to look cool.

So what is it tonight folks?

[Jpeg Jones]

Keep it simple. Stone cold top-shelf gin in a martini glass.

[Ender_Will]

I can't offer you many specific drinks since I'm only 19, and as such can't go to bars here in the US of A.

However, I was in Australia over the summer (great place. recommend it to anyone and everyone) and one night (well, LOTS of nights, but one particular night) we were in a bar. It was a Thursday, I believe, and there were about ten other people there, all of whom were playing pool or talking to each other, so the four or five of us were the only people at the bar. We started talking to the bartender, he asked what we wanted, someone said something to the effect of "I don't know, what would you recommend?" and he started mixing up all kinds of weird shots. Anyhow, most of them were damn good, but I don't remember any of their names. So, if the bar's fairly empty, that's a decent way to try a variety of drinks.

Of course, since all of the drinks you mentioned were cocktails, and my lengthy anecdote was about shots, so it might not really be all that helpful, but who knows. Gin and Tonics and White Russians are good, you've already tried them though. A drink which is quite good, but has no name as far as I know, is a screwdriver with a bit of cranberry juice. Not particularly manly, but since you're a girl, that's not a big deal.

[Grey]

Single malt scotch, neat.

Highland Park is nice, so is Glen Livet. I like Talisker, and Lagavulin, but they're not really popular, but if you're feeling adventurous...

Or maybe a Black Russian?

[Grey]

Or try these Classic Cocktails (http://www.restaurants.com/Gourmet/Drinks/DrinkListing.asp?Type=Classic).

Suddenly I want to try a Whippet Gimlet. I have no idea what it is, but I want one.

[WavyDavy]

I say order what you drink at home. Ice cold vodka neat. Ask for a vodka martini, no vermuth (sp?). When you order, request the best vodka by name. Many dopers here will tell you whats good in the vodka line. The bartender will be impressed (as much as they ever are) when you request a top shelf brand vodka and since it should be served in a martini glass you will look elegant and sauve with said glass sitting in front of you. If you need a garnish, ask for a lemon twist. Just the skip the James Bond line "shaken, not stirred". Your style factor will drop right off the table. Here's looking at you.

[Zenster]

I suggest something with a smoky Caribbean flavor to it;

How about a hickory daiquiri doc?

[WILLASS]

Sea Breezes are good......I think its 1 pt vodka, 1 pt grapefruit juice and 2 pts cranberry juice (the mixer may be the other way round).

[murky]

when I'm trying to be classy (note the word "trying") I go as simple as possible. Vodka on the rocks in nice and easy (Danzka's grapefruit vodka is easy to drink straight).

If its slow enough to get some personal time from the bartender, I definitely recommend a Scotch Old Fashioned. I'd ask for extra bitters and maracino juice. Its really yummy and has a very Rat Pack feel to it, IMO. THough when I say "yummy" I don't mean to imply that its a girlie drink. It is not.

[Necros]

Why are you drinking to look cool? It's that fairly fake? Why not just drink what you like, and to hell with what people who are shallow enough to judge you based on what you drink think?

That said, I like to drink martinis. And drinking them seem to make me very, very cool. People respect martini drinkers. Or, at least that's what I think after five of them. :D

OTOH, I definitely admire your willingness to get right in there and taste a lot of stuff you haven't tasted before. Good show. Much better than sitting down and asking for a Bud Light because that's all you'll drink.

AFA vodka goes (like for a vodka "martini"), one of the new boutique vodkas is Hangar One. You probably won't find it anywhere yet, but you can gain style points for asking for it. Very good stuff. As a second, you can ask for Grey Goose.

BTW, I love your desciption of a gin and tonic.

[Fredge]

I'm a fan of Gran-Mar (http://www.grand-marnier.com/) myself.

[Cheesesteak]

You like gin, go for a proper gin martini. Though a couple might put you on your backside.

Gimlets are quite nice, just gin with lime. Vodka gimlets work too.

Something softer, I like fruit flavored vodka with 7-up, goooood stuff.

[cherry]

I'd order a blue lagoon, or a golden Cadillac or a Caesar.

[Marvel]

Play the "Surprise Me" game with the bartender! Back in my youth, I'd tell them something like "Make me something involving chocolate" or "Make me something with Baiey's Ircish Cream." When they'd asked if there was a particular drink along those lines I wanted, I'd just say "Surpise me!" I've been disappointed only once.

Patty, Who Now Wants a Mudslide!

[even sven]

The whole strange situation is an exersize in poser-dom and most assuredly calls for trying to look cool in the most geeky and ironically unironic way.

Unfortunately, I have a reputation as a cheap date to keep up, so the top shelf is way out of reach. And while sipping Winner's Cup vodka straight is fine at home, I'm not sure if it's something I'd subject myself to on a special occasion, so simplicity isn't really key tonight.

I'm still not sure what to get, but you guys gave me some good ideas. Thanks y'all!

[lightingtool]

Originally posted by Ender_Will
A drink which is quite good, but has no name as far as I know, is a screwdriver with a bit of cranberry juice. Not particularly manly, but since you're a girl, that's not a big deal. That is called a madras (spelling is optional) I think. Pretty tasty.

You might want to have a colored drink night. Go out with a bunch of folks to a bar with a friendly bartender and order drinks by color, as in, "I'll have a red one." I've found some neat drinks that way. Also, ask the bartender if they have any specialty drinks. (I've found this only works in smaller, less crowded bars where the staff isn't constantly working.)

Although you're on a budget, if you want to splurge, try some Van Gogh (http://www.luctor.com/Home.html) Wild Appel (not a typo). I think you'll like it.

[Hey, It's That Guy!]

I keep meaning to try Courvosier, but never gotten around to it. Usually I get pints of Guinness or gin-and-tonics, but I also like good vodkas.

[percypercy]

I really really like screwdrivers. Yes sirree I do. and when I'm not feeling cheap, I like them with Grey goose. Hey, don't look at me like that. I don't have any money. Just graduated from college.
-Lil

[Really Not All That Bright]

Try a vodka tonic... think of it as a sorta G&T light, if you don't like that fizzy plants taste.

If you want to try a shot that won't kill you, a red snapper looks cool and tastes fantastic.

[Audrey Levins]

This is all remarkably sound advice, Dopers! Coming straight from The Bartender herself. ;)

The one question I would suggest you NOT ask is, "So...what's your best drink?"

I get this frequently, and it drives me nuts.

a.) People say I make a heavenly martini, for instance, but I myself hate martinis, so that's not what I would say is "my best drink" because I don't drink them. But if you like martinis, and you're waiting for me to give you permission to order one from me, I've just totally lost you.

b.) It implies that I have inferior drinks. (Yes, that's a nitpick, but dammit, after awhile you start nitpicking!)

c.) If I just go with it and say, for instance...."Well, my margaritas are kickass!" they inevitably say something like, "Oh, I don't like margaritas/I wanted something stronger/I wanted something blue/I like sweet drinks, etc., etc., etc..." Which means there is no right answer and we're not GETTING ANYWHERE.

So please do not ask me that. Or any other bartender, b/c I'm sure they all get it.

Tell the bartender what kind of drink you like (strong, sweet, sour, fruity, creamy, blue, red, orange, on the rocks, straight up, etc.) and tell them to make you whatever they want. This always results in tasty beverages if the bartender's worth a shit b/c their pride is on the line. They want you to like their "concoction" or "invention," so they'll put extra care and trouble (and liquor) into it.

It works on me, anyway. :D

If you want, you could also try these for a kick of flavor and coolness:

Long Beach Iced Tea (Long Island with cranberry and Sprite)
Vanilla chocolate martini (self-explanatory, and tell 'em to throw in some butterscotch, too...*sluuurp*)
Kahlua and Tuaca, on the rocks (This is one of my favorites)
White Russian with Bailey's instead of cream (this is a Mudslide on the rocks but a lot of people don't know that)
Brandy Alexander
Harvey Wallbanger (this is a classic that gives the bartender a chance to dust off that bottle of Galliano back there and it's fun to say!)

And there are others, but that's a "starter list."

Have fun and tip well!

[romansperson]

If you like gin, here's a couple I like:

Bombay cooler (just a shot of gin with lemonade over ice. Easy).

Sloe gin fizz - classic, and fun, drink

Also, Bellinis are fun too - champagne and peach nectar.

[Catsmeow]

One of my faves is called a "Root Beer"

1 shot Kaluha
1 shot Galliano
1 tsp super fine sugar
shake with ice and strain into a Collins glass with ice
Top with coke. (the only way I'll drink coke)

Really does taste like root beer.

Cats~

[Ludovic]

My favorites, although they probably will not be found in a bar. Although if they are, are there any names for these?:

2 parts St. Brendan's
1 part chocolate milk.

5 parts Mountain Dew
2 parts Ketel One. (This drink mixes at a better proportion because of the vodka quality and the sugar of the Dew. And, while it doesn't taste as good as a fresh Dew, it tastes better than a stale one that's been sitting around for a few months.)

I call the second one a Dewdriver. Any suggestions for names for the first one?

[jehovah68]

How about rum? Mojitos are excellent, but the bar must have it on their menu, because they may not have simple syrup or mint.
The next time you have a margarita, order a golden cadillac - made with Cointreau instead of Triple Sec and a float of Grand Marnier.

[Hey, It's That Guy!]

Mmm, mojitos! We have access to great ones here in Miami, because they'll often have guarapo (fresh sugar cane juice) on hand. I've found Gosling Black Seal rum to be my favorite rum in a mojito, plus the lime and mint must be fresh. Crushed ice is also ideal.

[etv78]

You drink vodka and didn't have a Cape Codder?

[5-HT]

Stoli and Tonic w/ lime is far and away the greatest drink ever invented. learn it. live it. love it.

[5-HT]

Stoli and Tonic w/ lime is far and away the greatest drink ever invented. learn it. live it. love it.

[umop ap!sdn]

Those who would have the nerve to judge you based on what you drink might use these criteria (http://pangloss.ucsf.edu/~terrazas/jokes/newjokes/ChickDrinks.html). :)

[Audrey Levins]

I just have to say that I dunno where you found that list, aryk29, but it's so accurate it's creepy. Particularly the bit about blender drinks and white zinfandel. :D

[Breezy]

I LOVE a kamikazee (the drink, not the shot). I think it's basically vodka and lime juice with a little sprite/7 up.

I also really like a Whiskey Sour or a 7&7.

[umop ap!sdn]

Originally posted by Audrey Levins
I just have to say that I dunno where you found that list, aryk29, but it's so accurate it's creepy. Particularly the bit about blender drinks and white zinfandel. :D

Well I'll be. :D

It was originally on www.lotsofjokes.com but seems to have mysteriously vanished. :confused:

So I did a search and found it on another site. Hmm. That accurate, huh? Good to know, thank you!

[caveman]

Rum and Coke!

[even sven]

I guess I left you guys hanging.....

Well, we ended up going out to a movie instead. Sorry for all the false hope!

[Eleusis]

Originally posted by caveman
Rum and Coke!

Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

... and it only took 32 posts? (I cheated cutting and counting)

But almost seriously, everybody, she specifically requested things which won't piss off your average bartender.

That's like either beer or "_________ and __________".

Ask for something frozen in most bars and they'll laugh at you. They'll lie and say they don't have a blender. They'll say the blender's broken.

even seven, you're a girl, right? And you don't like cosmopolitans? HHMMMMMMMMM........ that kinda rules out all cranberry.

(avoiding what you've cited)
Rum and coke.... vodka soda... vodka soda w/lime.... gin/soda.... gin/soda w/lime.... etc....red bull/vodka.... screwdriver......... Martini... martini....


Follow your own advice and K.I.S.S. (keep it simple stupid)

[Belrix]

Currently, the wife and I are on a Mojito (sp? Mo-HEE-To) kick. Sort of a Jamican Mint Julep. It's rum, mint, lime, sugar water, perhaps some fizzy water and other stuff mixed together. At the house we're doing it with a mixer by Freshies (or something like that).

The first sip or two has a high "whazzat on my tounge?" factor. After three or four sips, though, it settles in very nicely.

As far as "rum and coke", add a generous squeeze of lime. Much better, IMO.

[Eleusis]

As far as "rum and coke", add a generous squeeze of lime. Much better, IMO.

Well, then it becomes a cuba libre (http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink3080.html). I personally can't stand them. I have to specifically say "No Lime" every time I order, and they still give me lime half the time. I didn't order a cuba libre - I send it back.

[International Playboy]

[url=http://cocktails.about.com/library/weekly/aa023100a.htm}Pousse-Cafe[/url]

Always wanted to try one since I read about them in Kurt Vonnegut's Breakfast of Champions. Think I'll do it on vacation next week.

[International Playboy]

Oops. Pousse Cafe (http://cocktails.about.com/library/weekly/aa023100a.htm)

[Audrey Levins]

Beware, International Playboy. (Wow, that sounds like really bad dialogue!) I looked at that list, and I've only heard of about half-a-dozen of those drinks...and I'd wager I'm ahead of most bartenders b/c I'm a nerd who actually likes learning old/new/weird/never-ordered drinks.

Play it safe. Go for the B-52. Can't beat it. *slurrrrrrrrp*