Canada or Mexico

[Omniscient]

So which one should we invade? Mexico has all those great beaches and food. Canada is way bigger and the people there at least speak English so we don't need to deal with that. Canada probably has more raw resourses, Mexico has way more people. If we conquer Mexico think of all the money we'd save on border patrols. Canada would probably come quietly, or at least retreat to the northern territories. So who should we go after first? I'm up in the air.

Canada is prettier and the people do not make us uncomfortable. Mexico is way superior in food and drugs. I'm on the fence, too.

[hansel]

If you invaded Canada quietly, they might not notice anything's changed: easiest invasion ever.

On the other hand, then you get to deal with Quebec. Then again, the Chiapas are well armed; les Québecois are merely foul-tempered.

[LongHrn99]

Hmm, maybe Hitler could be cloned and we could rid the continent, nay the WORLD of the Canadian plague!! All we have to do is find the Russian prison he's rotting in...

[hansel]

With poutine, the secret weapon of les Québecois, even Hitler might have trouble subduing the populace.

Mmmmm... fries, gravy, and curds...

[elrayoX]

Its nice to see that good ol' Manifest Destiny is alive and well.

[Sam Stone]

If you guys invaded, you'd probably ruin our beer.

You've never seen a Canadian fight to protect the quality of his beer. I suggest you bring extra ammo.

[manhattan]

Mexico is a terrific country with a long history of independence that someday will be a G7 country (or is it G8 now). They also have a justified nationalistic pride that would make the whole Vietnam thing seem like a walk in the park.

Canada is where we keep our natural resources in cold storage until we need them, but commodity prices are low right now.

I say leave 'em both alone. For now.

Just kidding, dh. And thanks for the beer.

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This is not an offer to agree or disagree with opinions, which may be done only by a current prospectus.

[Xgemina]

dhanson--you got it backwards, we need to invade to improve our beer (which in my opinion is only one step above pig piss.--not that I've had pig piss, I just have a vivid enough imagination)

Invade Canada! steal their beer recipes!

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"Nuts!"
Gen A.C. McAuliffe
"The general's nuts."
unknown 101st AB grunt

[gary horaczek]

Why is making love in a boat like American beer? Both are near f@#king water.-Monty Python

[Northern Piper]

And of course there is one definition of Canadian - "someone who can make love in a canoe."

[Rich Barr]

We've already invaded both Canada (Revolutionary War, War of 1812) and Mexico (Mexican War), and I personally think it would be more fun to invade someone new. Like England--it's time we absorbed them anyway, so we can punish them for the Stamp Act.

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If Turkey attacked Spain from the rear, would Greece help?

[GOD]

Will stay nonpartisan here.

[Czarcasm]

Here's a thought. Invade Canada, but leave Quebec alone. We would let Quebec produce all the beer to preserve the taste.

[zoony]

Judging from the news reports we get from the good ol' U S of A, seems you folk're too busy shooting each other to spend much time invading us. And remember, you can't invade unless you've all had your anthrax vaccinations.

Personally, I don't think most of you could find Canada. Better go with Mexico - you won't need a jacket.

Z

[Shirley Ujest]

Most will want to start the invasion by hitting the beach at Puerto Vallarta and never get farther than the t-shirt shops.

[tracer]

Well, like they say in South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut:

Blame Canada! They're not even a real country, anyway.

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I'm not flying fast, just orbiting low.

[gypsy]

invade Canada, that way I can leave this frozen wasteland and go to work legally in Florida or California or Texas gulf coast!
PLEASE invade Canada!

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Unforgiven

[kellibelli]

you have already invaded canada...we watch your tv, our kids act like your kids...one of the little boys at my sons daycamp called him 'bitch' the other day.Charming.

really though, once the first winter hit, your guys would all die, and we would rule the continent.
oh, and trust me you dont want to tangle with quebec.those buggers can out argue C#3, satan, Bjorn, all of them...and the only problem canada has ever had with terrorism was in quebec.they might put poison in your poutines.
and we will fight you...we dont have guns, (except for hunting) but we throw a mean rock, and boys here grow up learning how to fist fight, again because we dont have the luxury of just being able to shoot the people who annoy us, so if you run out of ammo, watch out.

the entire above text was meant to be amusing.it is not the intent of the author to incite an invasion. the author wants all americans to know that canada is a dark and dirty wasteland of nuclear radiation...there is NOTHING up here to interest you at all.

[Pickman's Model]

My personal feeling as a patriotic American is that we should take our entire governent, all our militia and neo-Nazi groups, our entertainment industry, all our postal workers, and all our schoolkids (along with a few assorted daytraders and high-ranking military officers), divide them into two groups, and dump half of them on Yugoslavia and the other half on Iraq. That would solve about 90% of our problems, right there. Then the rest of us could sort of kick back and adopt the Canadian lifestyle; just a little slower, a little calmer, no rush, no Rush, no need to police the entire flipping world, just tend to domestic business and do away with genetically-designed foods. All we'd need then is a President who was as pragmatic as Franklin Roosevelt, as tenacious as Harry Truman, and as pleasant to look at as Brian Mulroney, and we'd be all set. Hand me another Molson, eh?

[Fretful Porpentine]

I don't think we should invade Canada; we'd probably ruin the place. We should just sit back and encourage THEM to invade US. That way we'd get to enjoy our weather AND their beer.

[Sam Stone]

What, don't you like McTacos?

[nayaran]

those buggers can out argue C#3, satan, Bjorn, all of them... --kelli

Now I know why I took Spanish instead of French, and why I'd rather go to Mexico with their cheap drugs! :)

One more question: Can these Quebecans out-argue even the best of them--ARG220? :)

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"Of course, that's just my opinion; I could be wrong."--Dennis Miller

[E1skeptic]

Hmmmmmmm..... I think we'll just wait for you guys to self-destroy, and then we (canadians and mexicans) will have a nice playground...

But in case you decide to invade México before you self-annihilate, just do me a favor: leave our food alone!

[kellibelli]

if we could get JUST ONE Quebeccer on this board...they could make adam cry!!

[gene]

I recall reading a book a few years back, about the eventual breakup of Canada. It was the author's contention that the Atlantic Provinces and British Columbia would petition to join the USA.
As for Quebec, it probably will be an independent nation within 10 years.
No offense, Canadians, your country was never meant to be a country-it was always intended that it (you) remain a dominion of the UK. Your trade is with the USA, not Britain; AND it runs north-south, not east-west. That's why Washington/Oregon/California have more in common with BC that Ontario or Quebec.
A question for you Canadians: what to intend to do with that frozen wasteland (formerly called the NW territory)? It would make a great place to store old nuclear reactors, radioactive waste, etc.

[liverTwist]

I honestly think you should invade both - it isn't like you don't have a large enough army or enough ammo. All it really takes is for someone up here (or down there) to piss you off enough. Besides, if you did, us Canajans could enjoy a more valuable dollar, and cheap flights to Mexico. (wait a second, we have cheap flights already... hmmmm) Well, at least we'd have more channels to watch... (hmm, we have those already too...) Okay, well we'd have more guns and better laws to sue people with. That's for sure...

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"Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open."

-Lord Thomas Dewar

[Jahender]

--Kellibelli: "you have already invaded canada...we watch your tv, our kids act like your kids...one of the little boys at my sons daycamp called him 'bitch' the other day.Charming."

I am so sick of f-ing Canadians blaming their social problems on the States. Give me a break. Yea KelliBelli, if you only had CBC, curling and that fat ass singing lady on television that kid would never had said the word 'bitch', yea Canada would be some gleaming utopia that we all would worship and desire. Spare me.

I live in Detroit and I hear that mindless banter from Canadians constantly. Why don't you close your borders, get your own TV networks, listen to Brian Adams, Shania Twain, only and see how 'vastly' your country improves. If you don't like our friggin' TV shows, movies, songs, culture...etc. than why do you continue to buy/watch it with such vigor? Why? Because your stuff sucks. Has anyone actually watched CBC? It totally sucks. Curling?

That's it, I'm taking this to another thread.



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The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
George Bernard Shaw

[Jahender]

Flame on.

[bantmof]

Err, Jahender? Take a deep breath. :-)

They're friendly. Really. I'm a yank and I kinda share the opinion that the US has not been an entirely good neighbor. But that's probably a topic for a different thread.

--
peas on earth

[kellibelli]

holy cow....I meant the whole thing tongue in cheek, if I had to watch the CBC, I would die!
maybe I should have elaborated more...the invasion I referred to is a cultural one, one we welcome!I love the music, tv and all the rest you guys do...I doubt you have ever watched a canadian talk showzzzzzzzzz...oh dozed off there, they're about as far from springer as can be, so damn nice I could puke!-and I watch springer! (I dont let my kids watch it though..)
I didnt mean to make you mad...it was really more of a slam against the canadian culture of which there is painfully little, either we emulate you or the stuff is totally lame..couple of noteable exceptions...BNL, Degrassi Jr High, Great Big Sea, codco, this hour has 22 minutes etc.
sorry to offend.I love you man!

[Omniscient]

Well, maybe we're approaching this the wrong way. Instead of the upsides of each country, what are the evils that we would want to avoid.

Mexico=Montezuma's Revenge
Canada=Curling
Mexico=Mexico City
Canada=Quebec
Mexico=Spanish
Canada="eh"
Mexico=lizards
Canada=Mosquitos the size of Sikorskys
Mexico=Beer
Canada=Food

Also owning Canada would provide tons of wide open spaces for hermits and militias to fester, kinda like Montana2. I'm not sure if more space keeps 'em further away or just room to multiply.

Damn, I'm still confused.

[Omniscient]

Well, maybe we're approaching this the wrong way. Instead of the upsides of each country, what are the evils that we would want to avoid.

Mexico=Montezuma's Revenge
Canada=Curling
Mexico=Mexico City
Canada=Quebec
Mexico=Spanish
Canada="eh"
Mexico=lizards
Canada=Mosquitos the size of Sikorskys
Mexico=Beer
Canada=Food

Also owning Canada would provide tons of wide open spaces for hermits and militias to fester, kinda like Montana2. I'm not sure if more space keeps 'em further away or just room to multiply.

Damn, I'm still confused.

[bantmof]

Canada="eh"
Well, eh-wise, Canada has already invaded _us_. Seems like "eh" is pretty common in the states that border on Canada. I've been saying it since I was a kid.

I'll take it over "y'all" any day! It sounds nice when used properly by a native eh-ophone ("you think so, eh?") but sounds horrid when southerners try to emulate it and fail catastrophically (I've heard abominations such as, "would you like go to see a movie, eh?" - blech! - stick with "y'all", you southern drawlers!)

As for who to invade: my vote is the UK. Then we can MAKE them apologize for the spice girls under threat of complete distruction of their national infrastructure.

--
peas on earth

[tracer]

Pickman's Model wrote:

Then the rest of us could sort of kick back and adopt the Canadian lifestyle; just a little slower, a little calmer, no rush, no Rush,

I thought Rush was a Canadian band.

Oh, wait, you meant Limbaugh.

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I'm not flying fast, just orbiting low.