I'm going to church on sunday. Are you? (long)

[alterego]

When I was 11 years old my newfound step-mom forced me to become baptised as a Mormon. I can literally remember kicking and screaming because this was not something I wanted. I don't remember why but I really remember the struggle vividly. So, after I was baptised I was initially a little tird about the whole ordeal (naturally), stealing tithing when I was sent out to collect it etc.. but after a while I really and truly came to believe the things they taught me. I became a steadfast member of the LDS church, attending not only sunday service, but boy scouts, youth group, and 6am seminary before high school. I can tell you anything you ever wanted to know about being mormon. I've even baptised dead people myself.

This went on for quite a few years, until one day when I was 19 years old (i just turned 21) about 34 random synapses fired in my brain in a perfectly random sequence and it occured to me that I was brainwashed and this was all total bullshit. I began to look around me and see the world in a whole new way.

After that I joined a yoga cult. I learned all mannerisms of yoga and for a good 8 months I was waking up at 3:30 and doing morning sadhana. I studied kundalini, hatha, and taoist yoga, as well as practicing many eastern mannerisms. I have had what I would call extremely religious experiences when I was really deep into yoga.

This brings me up to my next part. One of the universal teachings in all paths of yoga is that the spiritual journey is a lonely journey. It is quite likely that the way you are seeing the world is unique to you in your setting. You might find a few people that are experiencing it the way you are but their is a good chance you can count them on one hand. I have been feeling this loneliness for over a year now, and I have to admit, I am very lonely.

Throughout my so-far-short journey in life I have developed quite the socratic view. I am searching for the truth, wherever it is.


So, on to my ending. I have made a good friend here in Italy who is a devout christian. I mean, she is very very devout. She also doesn't care if I go to church or not, she likes me for who I am and she likes me for the things I do. Well, I know what your thinking, she asked me to go to church with her, but this is not so. I asked her! if I could go.

I am tired of being lonely. Something is missing from my life and I am going to give God another chance. There is something inherantly beautiful about people taking out part of there day to come together in worship.

I just wanted to share my story and see if anyone else had a story they wanted to share or just an experience. This is something that really deeply effects everyone. I have never met a person that could tell me with absolute and convincing certainity that they knew (as socrates would have put it) what is it? Please dont get the impression that I am walking around lonely as all getout with no friends, I meant spiritually! Lonely in life.

[SnoopyFan]

I don't have anything to share but I hope you find what you're looking for.

[Eve]

Hey, I'm an atheist, but if religion makes you happy, go for it and best of luck.

[Aries28]

I think it is a very beautiful thing too. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

Let us know how your experience on Sunday turns out.

[GingerOfTheNorth]

Of course I'm going to church on Sunday, but I have different reasons. I'm paid to be there.

Good luck to you.

[Ponder Stibbons]

Me? Church? Nah. Although I may worship at the House of Pancakes. :)

[Dogzilla]

For me, these are loaded questions. I will attempt to be brief without trashing the LDS church. (My issues with that church are irrelevant to the OP.)

I was raised by Mormons and was convinced to be baptized when I was 14. (I won't say forced because it was my choice.) Somewhere around 18 -- 'bout the same age as you, about 34 random synapses fired in my brain in a perfectly random sequence and it occured to me that I was brainwashed and this was all total bullshit. I began to look around me and see the world in a whole new way.

Sound familiar?

My story is similar, except I'm not spiritually lonely. After learning about Buddhism and Hinduism and some other isms... I finally learned about Wicca and Paganism. And suddenly, I realized I had all the answers in the first place all in my own head already, and there were others out there who think like I do, believe what I do -- each with our own little variations. So I don't see the single spiritual path as a lonely one, but a unique one. That's what makes us special -- we each have our own take on things. You can only be lonely if you allow yourself to feel that way. Point being... you're not alone at all. You just haven't yet found your niche or whatever it is you keep looking externally for. [Hint: Try not looking outside of yourself for whatever it is you seek. Happiness, contentment, and spirituality come from within. Not from without.]

And yes, I will be going to "church" this Sunday. I plan to stand on my back porch, watch my neighborhood resident hawk and other birds in the yard, and worship the nature that I was put on this earth to take care of.

Good luck on your journey. Feel free to e-mail me if you desire more in depth conversation on the matter.

[Flamsterette_X]

I'm definitely going to church on Sunday for my own reasons. I hope that you will find God, and that He will find you.

F_X

[Siege]

Not only will I be going to church next Sunday, but if all goes well tomorrow night, I'll be singing in the choir. Last week was my first week at a new church closer to home and once again, I had my standard experience with Episcopal churches. Not only did they welcome me, they pretty much adopted me! I'm an odd Piscy -- I've worshipped with Wiccans and found the peace Dogzilla speaks of, but there is something in me which is deeply Christian and Anglican/Episcopalian.

Congratulations, alterego. I too hope you find what you're looking for. I've no idea how big the church you'll be attending is, or how old, but there are, I'm told, some beautiful churches in Italy. Remember, the old ones were designed to inspire faith by their appearance as well as what took place within them. I hope it does work on you.

May God guide and bless you,
CJ

[Darkhold]

Find him? I didn't know god ever lost anyone.....Kidding aside though it's a lonely world we each have to find peace in our own way. Though I think you need to find peace and strength within yourself instead of seeking it elsewhere. But then again what works for me might not be the same for you.

[Freiheit]

alterego, i wish you good luck. I'm glad you've decided to consider a Christian church. If this church isn't a very good match for you, don't give up! Just try out an other one.

[StGermain]

I will be. I usually go to Mass 2-3 times a week.

StG

[j_sum1]

Sounds like you are doing the right thing alterego and are being more honest than a lot of people who just attend out of habit.

While you are talking with your friend, ask if you can borrow a bible and look up Deuteronomy 4:29, or alternatively Jeremiah 29:11-13 -- they say much the same thing.

All the best. :)

[amarinth]

Yes, and afterwards I will be taking a group of 11 year-old girls out for pizza and ice cream. Pray for me.

And I will pray that you'll find what you're looking for.

[kniz]

NO (short)

[glee]

Originally posted by alterego
Throughout my so-far-short journey in life I have developed quite the socratic view. I am searching for the truth, wherever it is.

I am tired of being lonely. Something is missing from my life and I am going to give God another chance. There is something inherantly beautiful about people taking out part of there day to come together in worship.

I just wanted to share my story and see if anyone else had a story they wanted to share or just an experience. This is something that really deeply effects everyone. I have never met a person that could tell me with absolute and convincing certainity that they knew (as socrates would have put it) what is it? Please dont get the impression that I am walking around lonely as all getout with no friends, I meant spiritually! Lonely in life.

My parents took me to a Christian Church (Protestant, Congregationalist branch) so I could learn about the Bible. When i was 14, I asked my Sunday School teacher (a decent man) if there was any evidence of God. (I don't consider the Gospels, written decades after the event, to be sufficient.) He said no, it was purely a question of faith.

Well if God exists, he made me a scientist. Considering the amazing range of opinion over who God is and what He/She wants, it seems clear to me there isn't any religious certainty. And anyone who tells you they are certain is not basing that on any scientific evidence or reasoning.
Therefore I am an atheist. (I really don't understand how people can be so confident that their religion is completely correct without any evidence - except that other worshippers are equally convinced that their (contradictory) religion is the only correct one.)

Having said that, I consider Jesus to have given us many fine teachings. However I respect people for their behaviour, not their religious belief.
So if your friend and you go to Church and have a pleasant day, then I am happy for you.
(If the preacher states that sinners will burn in Hell forever (and that includes all gay people), then I personally would be most unhappy about that Church.)

[alterego]

LOL glee if he says that I will most certainly evict him from the podium and take over the sermon =)

[glee]

Originally posted by alterego
LOL glee if he says that I will most certainly evict him from the podium and take over the sermon =)

Good for you! :D

We once had a religious charity group visit my School. Unfortunately the speaker turned out to be a 'Hell and Damnation' preacher, and several of outr pupils were quite upset at the thought of eternal punishment.
There was a discussion group afterwards and I asked the speaker a few questions. It became clear he was quite ignorant about the Bible (especially the Gospels) and the message of love that Jesus stood for.

[Marley23]

No, but then, I never would've gone on Sunday (aside from the three times I had to attend a UU church for a class). But the real answer is that I happily haven't been to anything of the sort for almost 8 1/2 years now. :)

[Zap_Rowsdower]

Nope. I've always felt like an outsider in whatever church I tried, especially as a child when I was forced to attend. Probably because I could never accept what they were teaching, me being atheist and all. But good luck with what your looking for.

[Aries28]

Originally posted by glee
Therefore I am an atheist. (I really don't understand how people can be so confident that their religion is completely correct without any evidence - except that other worshippers are equally convinced that their (contradictory) religion is the only correct one.)

Having said that, I consider Jesus to have given us many fine teachings. However I respect people for their behaviour, not their religious belief.
So if your friend and you go to Church and have a pleasant day, then I am happy for you.
(If the preacher states that sinners will burn in Hell forever (and that includes all gay people), then I personally would be most unhappy about that Church.)

To begin, I think your post was very well worded. :)

I am a Christian but I do not believe that my denomination is the One True Way. I think any church or group that claims they are the only way to worship or praise or think is completely wrong.

I do strongly believe there is one way to salvation and that is through believing in Jesus Christ.

I also fully believe one does not have to go to church in order to worship. I have had many meaningful times where I felt very connected to God through nature, through music, through praying alone, etc. I cannot stand preachers who insist if you miss church on Sunday you are not a real Christian.

I also don't believe sinners will burn in hell forever. We all are sinners...I sin on a daily basis but I don't believe that condemns me to hell.

And....I don't want to turn this into a religious debate.....so, glee I admire your comments and alterego I hope you enjoy your Sunday.

[dropzone]

Well, speaking as a person whose wife majored in 15th Century Italian Altarpieces but who has never been able to go to Italy to see them in person, check out the decorating. And go to a different church next week.

Shallow? Yeah, but it helps to have something to fall back on if this religion thing doesn't work out. ;)

Really, though, I'm a seeker like you and went through a similar event a couple years ago. Good luck on your path; it doesn't have to be a lonely one. Lonliness is an unnatural state for people.

[Caspian101]

I'm not what you would call a 'Religious' person, but I am a Spiritual one, although I couldn't define it in any conventional terms.

Like you though, I grew up as a Christian, until one day realising that it didn't work for me... I tried out all sorts of different belief systems and paths after that, until coming up with a personal philosophy (Still open to adaptation and change) that, thusfar, seems to be working out OK.

I am also *very* fortunate in that I have a number of other Spiritual friends - Some things we agree on, somethings we disagree on - We meet regularly, share laughter, thoughts and many things on our perception of the world and of life in general. It's not worship, other than shared ideas, but it's quite special.

Of course, Chrisitianity does not have to preclude other ways of thinking, the world needs to be more open minded about the religious boundaries that now exist. What I am trying to say is that although the path may be lonely, as your experiences will be yours alone, that doesn't mean you can't share them, and it doesn't mean you have to walk alone... It's a lonely path because Spirituality is very much about the individual and your direct relationship with the divine (However you perceive that - And I'm not saying that it's *better* or *worse* than other beliefs, it's just what works for me)

So, what do you do now? I say go to church, see how it makes you feel and what you get out of it. Remember, you are not choosing between one thing and another, unless *you* feel you have to. But, also, have a look into healing circles, meditation groups, development circles, Spiritual churches etc - Keep all of your options open, and when you start to find people around you that you click with on that level, cultivate the friendship.

You'll find that the more you move on this path, the more people you will seemingly bump into who are able to allow you to expand and explore your point of view - Embrace that, and you won't go far wrong...

[alterego]

Well, I guess technically I have been to mass at the Vatican but I was just a happening tourist at the time =)