Dinner for Six

[Polycarp]

This is another Polycarp-provokes-a-discussion thread. Scenario: You and your SO are planning an evening of dinner, after-dinner beverages, and conversation. Mr. Peabody and Sherman his pet boy have graciously consented to use the Wayback Machine to bring you any four historical or quasi-historical people you choose to attend your party, from anywhere in time. (Quasi-historical, to avoid sidetracks like, was Jesus real? or whatever: if you choose to invite Agamemnon, we will assume for the thread that the Trojan War legends were founded on fact.)

Your challenge: What four people would you invite, and why? Or, after people have posted their answers, you may question their choices on the basis of exploring why that person might be interesting to have at your party.

[NicePete]

Moe, Larry, Curly and Shemp. I like a good pie fight.

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Plunging like stones from a slingshot on Mars.

[Atrael]

Hmmm...Good question....
1. Nikola Tesla
2. Julius Cesar
3. Abraham Lincon
4. Gotta get back to you on this....forget the guy's name and don't have the book with me.

I'm assuming language wouldn't be a problem right?

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I haven't lost my mind, I have a tape backup around somewhere.

[mikehardware]

Jesus
Abe Lincoln
Mark Twain
Leonardo DaVinci

[neuro-trash grrrl]

1. Jesus
2. Socrates
3. Buddha
4. Lao-Tze

Why those four? Because they left no texts behind. All that we know about what they did and said, we get from their students and contemporaries. I'd like to get it from the horse's mouth, so to speak.

[VegForLife]

Jesus, without a doubt.
Galileo.
Benjamin Franklin.
Adolph Hitler.

I am going to assume languuage would indeed be a problem and confine myself to English speakers, like:

Lincoln
Washington
D.W. Griffith
Marlene Dietrich
Beatrice Lillie
Charles Dickens

Of course, would they all say yes?

Here's part II of this question (this doesn't count as a highjacking, does it?). What LIVING people would you ask, provided they had to say yes? I'd go for

President Clinton
Ute Lemper (cabaret singer)
Queen Elizabeth
Dennis Miller
Jan Morris (wonderful travel writer and memoirist)
George Clooney (I need something to look at, too)
well my Mom, of course!

Queen of Sheba
Helen of Troy
Cleopatra
Marilyn Monroe

Unfortunately, on that same evening, my SO has been called out of town unexpectedly.

Why would I invite those guests, you might ask? Take a guess. :)

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Jacques Kilchoer
Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains.

[tracer]

Darn it, I can't participate in this thread. I don't have an SO!

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Quick-N-Dirty Aviation: Trading altitude for airspeed since 1992.

[Rysdad]

Ex wife number 1
Ex wife number 2
The girl that "Dear Johned" me in the Army
Ted Bundy

[andros]

Saul of Tarsus
Mohammad
Joseph Smith
L. Ron Hubbard

And dinner will be something very messy and easily flung. (Alternatively, John Locke, Mao, Karl Marx, and Charlemagne.)

I just looooove a good food fight.

-andros-

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"Listen Children Eternal Father Eternally One!" Exceptions? None!
-Doc Bronner

andros, good one!

On the same theme, how about
General de Gaulle
Winston Churchill
Adolf Hitler
Benito Mussolini

Dinner:
Entree
Split pea soup
Beet salad

Main course
Mashed potatoes
Beef stew
Boiled yams

Dessert:
Chocolate pudding
Jello

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Jacques Kilchoer
Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains.

[Doctor Jackson]

1. Jesus
2. Pat Robertson
3. Jerry Falwell
4. Madeline Murray-O'Hare

Some of the guests will be eating crow.

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The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. -- E. Grebenik

[SoxFan59]

Let me say that I love this question, but think the rules should be modified, or at least I would modify the requirements for me.

Being a Christian, I believe that Jesus is God and has no need for the wayback machine to attend my dinner, in that He exists eternally, and is omnipresent. He is in attendance whether invited or not.

Otherwise, I believe the 4 guests I would invite would be:

Joe Jackson
Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain
John Marshall
Uzziah, King of Judah




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SoxFan59
"Its fiction, but all the facts are true!"

"He is in attendance whether invited or not."

Well, obviously He needs to brush up on his Emily Post.

[Gaudere]

::howling with laughter:: Great retort, Flora.

[Polycarp]

Good point, Flora. But remember that an "invitation" from the King/Queen of England has the force of a command. The rules for etiquette among deities are somewhat different.

Or you could check that matter out with Io, Europa, Leda, Ganymede (equal opportunity here!), etc.

[Sake Samurai]

1. The Holy Ghost (I always wondered what the hell that was all about)
2. Whoever started my family's line (so I could violently torture the dirty ape)
3. Georg Trakl (his words would be the perfect background for the blood and screams)
4. The Marquis de Sade (I could probably use a few pointers)

[RickG]

Moses
Hillel
Jesus
Saul of Tarsus

Kosher catered, of course :).

Gut shabbos to all,
Rick

[GLWasteful]

Sox: Would that be Joe Jackson of the infamous Black Sox? Or the Joe Jackson of angst rockers such as "Is She Really Goin' Out With Him?"

Waste
Flick Lives!

[Satan]

Poly, I am so upset! I thought this thread was you going to discuss where you were buying dinner for all of us Dopers!

Well, if I was going to invite four folks to diner, I guess they would be:

(1) Jesus Christ. Would be great if he pulled some post-meal parlor tricks.

(2) Bob Costas. I know - "What?!?" But I've always respected the guy, and I think he does what he does very well. And a short guy who winds up in his position within the world of sports is an inspiration to all!

(3) Adolph Hitler. Why not? I'd be curious about what made the dude tick...

(4) Babe Ruth. We'd smoke cigars and talk baseball!

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Yer pal,
Satan

[GuanoLad]

Nobody. I hate social occasions like that.

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"To me, socks are like sex. Tons of it about, and I don't seem to get any."

[JBENZ]

Leonard, Julius, Adolph & Herbert Marx.

Once, just once, I wanna have dinner with somebdy funnier than me.

We'll order cheese sandwiches and argue abut the check....then lodge with my fleas in the hills.



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JB
Lex Non Favet Delictorum Votis

[Fretful Porpentine]

Darn it, Polycarp, thought for a sec you'd made that reservation at the Angus Barn...

1) Richard III. I'm dying to know what he was really like, and whether he killed the princes.

2) Ben Jonson. Not only interesting in his own right, but he knew EVERYBODY, and was probably the biggest gossip the literary world has ever known. Also, if this dinner is taking place before Wednesday, I could use his help on a paper...

3) Dorothy L. Sayers. Actually, I'd probably be too much in awe of the woman to say a word, but what the hell. (I bet she'd like to meet Ben, too.)

4) Wayne Gretzky. Gotta keep the SO entertained, you know.

[The_Peyote_Coyote]

1.) Jimi Hendrix. IMO, there are two surpreme musical geniuses; Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart is the other, but I think I would be better able to talk to Jimi. Plus he could give me a few tips on how to play the axe.
2.) Louis Pasteur. IMO, the greatest chemist who ever lived, and supposedly a true gentleman.
3.) Elizabeth I, one of the brightest and most fascinating women who ever lived. Plus, I understand her looks weren't bad.
4.) (cannot remember how to spell the first name) Ramujan, one of the greatest mathematicians who ever lived.
5.) Since I lack a partner at present, I would also invite Carole Lombard. I understand she was quite witty, and, of course, she was very attractive.

[techchick68]

1.) My birthmother
2.) My deceased mom
3.) My birthfather
4.) My over-controlling father

Why? Because this has been the biggest mystery of my life.

I would like to have answers to the hows and whys of my life.

Why my mom died and was an abusive woman. I woulda put her in the hospital if she hadn't died when I was 15, I was hitting the critical point of self-defense with her. Even so I still loved her.

Why my birthmother doesn't want to meet me even after 30 + years. I think I am a good person and would NEVER contact her parents because they don't know me. (that's up to her)I do have some sense of consideration.

Why my birthfather wanted to "take care of it." Hey father of my genes, I apparently look a lot like you!

And last but not least, why can't my father lighten up on me? Dad, I am doing my best with what you and mom gave me so why are you so critical of me, I am partly the product of the things you taught me!

(sheesh, I think it's easier to let the dead and unknown off the hook than it is the only living person that you look up to every day yet somehow can hurt you more than those that have done worse to you and are gone.)

Go figure, I would bring up some negative thinking on this issue, but I want answers!

Abbie Hoffman, Anita Hoffman(his widow,also deceased),Jerry Rubin,and Chris Farley.It would be a fun dinner.

Actually,just last night,I thought up a straight dope party.I was going to start a thread of it,but it fits here. Satan would be the witty entertainment;Kellibelli will try to upstage him,Tennhippie will make up limericks while we eat;snarkberry was invited but wouldn't come because of all the people;Danielbostaph will lose at Pictionary because he writes too big;After the party,Satan will say he noticed jodih had a good time,upon which she will burst back into the party to yell at him,and will get knocked down by Officegirl hanging from the chandeleir.Cecil will have been there,but noone knew it. :)

[ExTank]

Hmmmm....

1.) Niccolo Machiavelli
2.) Sun-Tzu
3.) Field Marshall Erwin Rommel
4.) General George S. Patton Jr.

I don't know exactly what would be on the menu, but I'm sure it would be bloody rare (maybe a good prime rib with au jus and horseradish, along with butter-boiled red potatoes and snap green beans, washed down with Glenlivet) and for our after dinner entertainment?

"How to take over the world in 7 campaigns or less"

<FONT COLOR="GREEN">ExTank</FONT>
<FONT COLOR="BLUE">"Coming soon to a war near you!"</FONT>

[manhattan]

Jesus
Rene Descartes
Thomas Jefferson
Dorothy Parker

Lacking a SO and preferring the company of the living, I get to add Bernadine Healey to the mix.

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Livin' on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine

[tracer]

Oh, wait! Polycarp game me an idea:

1) Io
2) Europa
3) Ganymede
4) Callisto

I've always wanted to have Jupiter's largest moons all crammed into my dining room!

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Quick-N-Dirty Aviation: Trading altitude for airspeed since 1992.

[manhattan]

Whatever would you feed them?

[# 00: The Fool]

Why, Ambrosia of course! ;)

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"Oh we were brought up on the Space-Race, now they expect us to clean toilets. When you have seen how big the world is how can you make do with this?"
Pulp, "Glory Days"

[AzRaek]

1) Hannibal of Carthage
2) Napoleon
3) Neil Peart
4) Sylvester Stallone-my SO's pick

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"On the edge of sleep, I awoke to a sun so bright..."

[TVeblen]

1.) Elizabeth I
2.) Hillel
3.) Mark Twain
4.) Mme. de Stael
And as I am w/o a SO at the moment, I would invite Benjamin Franklin as my escort and co-host.

Veb

[The_Peyote_Coyote]

Dear TVeblen:
Is the Mme. de Stael you're referring to the one who was the mistress of Talleyrand and an ambassador to France at the time of the Revolution?

[David B]

1) Cecil Adams
2) Jon Benet Ramsey (so we can end that damned thread)
3) The dead alien from Roswell (Whoops! We have an empty chair.)
4) God (Whoops! Two empty chairs.)

[Ukulele Ike]

1) Petronius
2) Li Po
3) Dr. Samuel Johnson
4) Charles Baudelaire

I have NO damn idea what we'd talk about, but I've always wanted to meet these four.

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Uke

[dramatoig]

Hmmm. As I too have no S/O, I claim the right to five guests:

1. Aphra Behn--spy, novelist, succesful playwright--the model of the Restoration woman.

2. William Shakespeare--for obvious reasons.

3. P. G. Wodehouse--"you interest me strangly, P. G."--could there be a wittier companion than him and

4. Dorothy Parker--I think my aim in this dinner is to get milk coming out of someone's nose laughing...

5. Albert Einstein--a funny man, and able to inject some real wonder into the occasion as well.

This all reminds me of that old Steve Allen show where they improved or scripted actual dinners like this, with actors playing the famous dead (obviously) and Steve officiating...



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"You must not mind me madam; I say strange things, but I mean no harm."
--Samuel Johnson

[tracer]

Sorta like Rich Little acting out having Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, and Ronald Reagan all playing poker together?

FORD: Hey, there are only 3 antes on the table!
CARTER: I anted.
REAGAN: I anted.
FORD: I anted.
NIXON: ... Well, what's everybody looking at me for?

[SoxFan59]

"He is in attendance whether invited or not."
Well, obviously He needs to brush up on his Emily Post. >>> Flora

Entertainingly flippant, Flora. But there is nothing in Emily Post regarding ominpresent but wilfully ignored guests. I believe Jesus Himself tried to deal with this with the verse in Revelation about standing at the door and knocking.

Sox: Would that be Joe Jackson of the infamous Black Sox? Or the Joe Jackson of angst rockers such as "Is She Really Goin' Out With Him?">>>>> Waste

Well, Waste, I certainly meant the baseball player. But I also thought about musicians I might invite. I have always admired the work of Johannes Brahms above most other composers. not only for its beauty but for what I percieved to be his philosophy as he wrote it. I would be interested in talking with him about that.

So perhaps I'd invite Mr. Brahams if Joe couldn't make (he's always hanging out in Iowa Cornfields and such).




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SoxFan59
"Its fiction, but all the facts are true!"

[GLWasteful]

Actually, Sox, I sorta assumed as much. The problem seems to be with the HTML code for smart-assed remarks. . .

And Brahms was okay, but I always liked Beethoven. And if I invited him, I would have to invite Mozart, just so Herr B could have someone to curse at. Which brings up Salieri, who I would need to invite so that he cou...

Ah, forget it. I'm going for sesame noodles. If any of them want to come, they have to pick up their own checks.

Waste
Flick Lives!

[CatInHat]

OK, I'm assuming that neither language nor proof of existence is an issue. Here are my choices.

1. Pope Joan
B. Elizabeth Cady Stanton
iii. Plato
d. Frank McCourt

I don't know that this is the best possible combination of guests, but I'd like to meet all of them. I have NO IDEA what we'd talk about, or what I'd feed them, or anything.

If I could have 2 such parties, I might re-arrange the guest list some.

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The Cat In The Hat

[CatInHat]

OK, I'm assuming that neither language nor proof of existence is an issue. Here are my choices.

1. Pope Joan
B. Elizabeth Cady Stanton
iii. Plato
d. Frank McCourt

I don't know that this is the best possible combination of guests, but I'd like to meet all of them. I have NO IDEA what we'd talk about, or what I'd feed them, or anything.

If I could have 2 such parties, I might re-arrange the guest list some.

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The Cat In The Hat

[CatInHat]

AARGH!!! Sorry.

[Polycarp]

You can't invite them twice, Cat!! Peabody was very explicit on the contract for the Wayback Machine. :)

[David B]

Incidentally, folks, if you accidentally double-post, just leave it. You can tell me in e-mail, or I may catch it myself. Either way, I'll delete the extra. I would have here, but by the time Cat apologized and Poly referred to it, I'd have to be deleting like 3 messages, and I don't want to do that (Poly would have been wondering what the heck he did to deserve deletion :) ). Just an FYI.

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David B, SDMB Great Debates Moderator

[Ukulele Ike]

Oh, yeah...my other reason for inviting Petronius, Li Po, Dr. Johnson, and Baudelaire (beyond their conversation) is to see which one of us would be the last upright one when the others were dead drunk under the table.

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Uke

[manhattan]

Simulation scheduled for one hour from now.

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Livin' on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine

[TVeblen]

Whoops, finally caught up on reading this thread and left out Polycarp's request to explain the choices...
I thought this bunch would be a good mix for conversation and interests.
Elizabeth I: worldly, witty, subtle and enjoyed a good time...and good men!
Hillel: for wisdom and insight and depth.
Mark Twain: funny, excellent conversationalist; it'd be fun to see his interactions w/ Liz! Regal old world redhead meets irreverent new world redhead.
Mme. de Stael: much like Liz; a wordly, witty charmer w/ killer looks and charm.
And Ben Franklin: excellent company, witty, urbane, and it'd be fun to see how long it took him to seduce Mme. in the butler's pantry. Or vice versa.
(I wanted to throw Winston Churchill in there, too, but the table is getting crowded.)
Abandoned by Ben,
Veb

[Polycarp]

That's OK, Katy; you can send the extras over to David's, since he has two empty chairs! ;)

[Shirley Ujest]

1. Dr. Laura
2. Howard Stern
3. Jerry " no more fightin'" Springer
4. Bill Maher

Would be very interesting.

[okatym]

Simon Peter
Martin Luther
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Victor Hugo
Mary, Mother of Jesus
Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Simon Peter: I'd want to see what this "rock" upon which Jesus built his church thinks of his progeny. (I'd be particularly interested in his opinion of Saint Peter's Cathedral, where they worship his bones and his statue.)

Martin Luther: A revolutionary who rocked the church and changed it forever.

Martin Luther King, Jr.: An admirable, amazing man.

Victor Hugo: Wrote the most inspirational novel I ever read, "Les Miserables", although it took me forever to finish it.

Mary, Jesus' mother: I'd find out what's up with her showing her face all around the third world and mixing up all those poor people.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger: Interesting addition to the mix...She would be humbled and improved.

[okatym]

OOOPS---I knew you said 4, but for some reason I was thinking 6... Anyway, please uninvite Dr. Laura...I don't really want her there anyway. And I guess Martin Luther King, Jr.

[AzRaek]

Shirley, you need to film that dinner!

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"On the edge of sleep, I awoke to a sun so bright..."

[Shirley Ujest]

AND to liven things up, I think I would have a couple of play boy bunnies/ hooters girls and Dr. Laura's ex lover that took those naked pictures of her when she was younger work as servers during the course of the meal.

[tracer]

AzRaek wrote:

Shirley, you need to film that dinner!

I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.