Barbies you'll never see...

[if6was9]

Inspired by astro's "New from Mattel - Wicca Secret Spell Barbie!" thread, what are some Barbies (and Kens) that they'll NEVER bring to market?


Ho Bitch Barbie - Hot pants, tank-top cut of just below her... charms, 8" platform shoes... "Get out there and make me some money!"

and of course.... Pimp Ken - something like this... (http://www.pimphats.com/images003/s1_valonval_gldjnglleo3.jpg)

Fundamentalist Barbie - turtleneck sweater, home-made bib-overalls jean skirt (ankle-length of course!) bible in one hand, baby in the other, Michael and Jerehmiah in the stroller, Caan, Rebecca, Abraham and David tagging along behind.

Hobo Ken - tattered rags for clothes, 6 day growth of beard, with the Ken Smell Moduletm for that realistic effect.

CEO Barbie, Colonel Barbie, Professor Barbie etc... - Heaven forbid she should think she was more than a plaything or secretary!

Mansonite Ken OR Barbie - shaved head, swastika carved into forehead, talking version, of course. "We love you Charlie!"



Can anyone think of more???

[Harriet the Spry]

Cellulite Barbie, with realistic jiggling thigh action.

Sleeps on Her Stomach Barbie.

Flat-footed Barbie.

Eating Disorder Barbie.

[LadySybil]

Catgirl Barbie, with ears and a tail. Sailor fuku sold separately.
Ninja Barbie.
Hippie Barbie, with long braids, tie-dye and fringe leather outfit, and a baggie of maryjane. Microbus not included.

[Evil One]

Leftist Barbie. Long stringy hair, John Lennon glasses, "Save the Whales" button on a "no nukes" t-shirt. Unshaven pits. Blue jeans. Unshaven legs. Birkenstocks.

You can find her with Ken at a global monetary conference, praying to get arrested so they can feel relevant.

[bojon]

I am fond of Trailer park Barbie, with Ken's Corvette up on blocks. Or Dominatrix Barbie......WOOOWEEE

[Q.E.D.]

Bag Lady Barbie
Late-term Abortion Barbie
Casting Couch Barbie
Porn Star Barbie
Goth Barbie

[if6was9]

LOL!!! I knew this was a good idea! :D "Cellulite Barbie" with jiggling thighs... :p

[The Man With The Golden Gun]

Nazi Barbie

[if6was9]

"Barbie - She-Wolf of the S.S."

[Olive, The Other Reindeer]

Lesbian Bondage Barbie!!!!!!!

[Evil Captor]

I did a takeoff on Barbie once, "Kajira Doll". Here's the url

http://www.jollyroper.com/gor/kajira.html

there's no nudity on the page, but there is a scantily clad resin statue, so whether it's worksafe or not is problematical. And other parts of my site are NOT work safe, so take care.

[Earl of Sandwhich]

More possibilities. (www.spatulaproductions.com/spatula/barbies.html)

[CalMeacham]

In the past I suggested

Hannibal Lector Barbie

Wayyyy back I suggested

Heaven's Gate Barbie

[teemingONE]

Divorcee Barbie - Comes with half of Ken's stuff.

[if6was9]

Can't believe I didn't think of this in the OP... :smack:

A-cup Barbie

[Mr. Blue Sky]

Internet Porn Barbie w/hot fisting action (packaged w/Goatse Ken)

[Guinastasia]

CEO Barbie, Colonel Barbie, Professor Barbie etc... - Heaven forbid she should think she was more than a plaything or secretary!


Um, I hate to break it to you, but all three have been done, more or less.

Pre-Op MtF Barbie
Anatomically Correct Barbie (and/or Ken)
Masturbation Barbie (comes with vibrator and copy of Playgirl)
GG Allin Ken
Tub-Girl Barbie
Goatsecx Ken

[j_sum1]

Spit-roasted Barbie aka barbie Q

Antichrist Barbie

Amputee Barbie

Zombie Barbie

[misstee]

Rosta Barbie with dreadlocks.

[SanguineSpider]

http://www.spatulaproductions.com/spatula/hellraiserken.jpg

This is truly a work of art... I love those cheesy movies!


Heroine Junkie Barbie that comes with her own stash/needle, under eye rings, and stick-thin body

[peritrochoid]

Lunch Lady Barbie
Lot Lizard Barbie

[Shadez]

Originally posted by Olive, The Other Reindeer
Lesbian Bondage Barbie!!!!!!!

reenacted here... (http://tecnorama.tripod.com/images/lesbian-barbie.jpg)

[Guinastasia]

Kaiser Ken-comes with handlebar 'stache, spiked Pickelhaube helmet and says, Deutschland uber alles! when a string is pulled.

[kambuckta]

Originally posted by Evil One
Leftist Barbie. Long stringy hair, John Lennon glasses, "Save the Whales" button on a "no nukes" t-shirt. Unshaven pits. Blue jeans. Unshaven legs. Birkenstocks.


Actually, there was an entrepreneurial lady here in Aus a few years back who was marketing such a doll.......called Feral Cheryl, complete with hippie gear, hairy legs and a little stash-bag.

Didn't quite take off with the kiddies though unfortunately. :D

[captainQwark]

realistically proportioned Barbie

[Already in Use]

Originally posted by The Man With The Golden Gun
Nazi Barbie I believe the term you're looking for is "Ann Coulter."

[Palve]

Jewish Barbie, with yarmulke and mini-Torah.

Guerrilla Warrior Barbie, with camouflage uniform and copy of Communist Manifesto.

Amputee Barbie, almost the same thing as regular Barbie but requires less plastic.

Stoner Barbie, complete with accompanying bong, lighter and special herb.

Domestic Abuse Barbie, with black eye and bruises. Comes with Redneck Alcoholic Ken!

Indonesian Sweatshop Barbie, with tattered clothes and missing fingers.

African Bushman Barbie, covered only with a cloth around her crotch, spear in hand, and most controversial of all, *gasp* black!

[matt_mcl]

Lesbian Bondage Barbie!!!!!!!

"I can't believe more lesbians didn't play with Barbies! I love Barbie! You could really role-play with Barbie, couldn't you? With Barbie and Midge... Barbie and Midge would touch each other, then Barbie and Midge would kiss each other... then Midge would move into Barbie's Dream House, then Midge would tie Barbie up, get out the little Barbie toys, smoke little Barbie cigarettes... then they'd have a fight, Midge would start seeing Skipper, Barbie would start seeing Tressy, and Chatty Cathy would tell everyone.

"My daughter once asked me, 'Mommy, does Barbie come with Ken?' I said, 'No, honey. Barbie comes with Midge. She fakes it with Ken!' "

- Vickie Shaw

[spogga]

Strap on Lesbo twin Barbies
Brit. Barbie shopgirls with greasy hair and sullen expression

[quiltguy154]

Schoolbus Driver Barbie

Hangin' Around the Boy's Bathroom Barbie

Mallrat Barbie{ Oops! She's been here all along}

[alterego]

Piss and Shit Barbie 0.o

[Tir Tinuviel]

Home Abortion Barbie.... Bottle of gin and coathanger sold seperately


A friend actually made a load of dodgy barbies, he got featured in some magazines, and then went on to make an animated film about them with that bird who used to do the Philadelpia adverts...