"No, really, I'm fine!" (long and a little weird)

[twickster]

Last night, about 10:15, I was lolling in the tub, reading, when the phone rang. Figuring it was too late for telemarketers or whoever -- and knowing that Bachelor #1 sometimes calls a bit on the late side -- I hopped out of the tub and, dripping wet and covered with bubbles, answered the phone.

It was C., a friend of mine from grad school. Okay, a word about C. He's a little older than I, and an Orthodox Jew, but we somehow forged a genuine friendship during that time. It was mostly about shared intellectual interests -- we also had the same advisor, who was a wonderful woman who was the perfect academic mentor. Anyway, so we were friends in grad shcool, would occasionally have coffee or a meal together, etc. Not a close friendship, or an intimate one, but an important one. In the 20 (yikes!) years since, we've stayed in touch, mostly through a letter or two a year. I left academia in '87, so there's not a huge commonality there, but we maintain the connection. The last time I saw him was maybe 10 years ago, when an academic society he belongs to met here in Philly -- there was talk of getting together when he brought his son to visit the Franklin Institute (science museum), but that fell through.

Anyway, so I'm dripping bubbles, and C. is on the phone. "Are you all right?" "Um, yeah, I'm fine." "Are you sure you're all right?" and I'm trying to think "well, I had the flu for a couple of days back in May..." because honest to god I'm healthy as a horse (knock on wood).

Well, C. had just gotten back from the annual SSSR meeting (Society for the Scientific Study of Religion -- it's the society all the sociologists of religion belong to, and the annual meeting is the numero uno occasion for meeting, greeting, presenting papers, networking, etc.) -- and someone had told him I was very ill. He told me the name of this person once, but was so flustered he wouldn't repeat it -- so it was a name I recognized, but I'm not sure I can place this person. It's possible she's someone who got a job later at a place where I'd had a one-year gig -- or came and gave a seminar there? Not someone I know, though possibly someone I've met.

Anyway, this person, whoever she is, told C. I was seriously ill. (I'm getting the vibe from C.'s flusteredness that we're talking either a brain tumor or a nervous breakdown.) WTF? And he believed her and got very upset. And apparently ran around the SSSR trying to find someone who'd have the real scoop, thereby additionally spreading this rumor.

Now, question #1 -- and make of it what you will that I'm posting on this before emailing C. to ask question #1 -- is, who was this person and exactly what did she say?

Question #2 is, don't these people have anything better to do at SSSR than gossip about someone who dropped out 15 years ago?

What's weird is this is the second time I've encountered a person from my past who reports to me a rumor that I'd gone seriously off the rails. When I was on "Jeopardy!" ten years ago, one of the people who contacted me was a friend from elementary school, who told me that the rumor had gone around that I'd ended up in a mental institution. :eek: This could be traced to a conversation another person from elementary school had had with my brother -- who presumably knew better -- when they encountered each other on the train between DC and Philly. The timing of the conversation was such that it might have been a reference to the fact that I entered a hospital to do treatment for my alcoholism in '85, but who knows.

So question #3 is, what makes me so effin' fascinating that these baroque rumors spring up around me with people from my moss-encrusted past?

Yikes. Off to email C. and find out what's going on.

[FairyChatMom]

So then the tale of you keeping a stable of well-oiled, scantily clad young studs in your attic is just a rumor??




Of course, you'll tell us what you find out, won't you?

[Aries28]

Originally posted by FairyChatMom
So then the tale of you keeping a stable of well-oiled, scantily clad young studs in your attic is just a rumor??

If it's not a rumor can I come visit? :D

[Angua]

Originally posted by Aries28
If it's not a rumor can I come visit? :D

Me too? I need solace at the moment! :D

[twickster]

Originally posted by FairyChatMom
So then the tale of you keeping a stable of well-oiled, scantily clad young studs in your attic is just a rumor??

On the advice of counsel, I am neither going to confirm nor deny the truth or falsity of any such rumor.

I will say, however, that if such a group were to exist, and if one of the young studs were named "Sergei," that particular individual -- who may or may not be living in my attic -- is not available to attend to the, uh, needs of any visiting Doper Wimmin.

Of course, you'll tell us what you find out, won't you?

But of course -- as I indicated in the OP, sharing this info here is my first priority. And what a sad commentary that is.

[Angua]

Originally posted by Aries28
If it's not a rumor can I come visit? :D

Me too? I need solace at the moment! :D

[Ludovic]

Ahhh, they're 1920's style "Death Studs".

[twickster]

You know, I can't help but be a little hurt that y'all are more concerned about the alleged existence of the stud squad than the fact that I may be teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

You're more concerned with what's going on upstairs than, well, what's going on upstairs. :(

[picunurse]

Originally posted by FairyChatMom
So then the tale of you keeping a stable of well-oiled, scantily clad young studs in your attic is just a rumor??

But, indeed, if this were the case, it would prove beyond all doubt your mental health is intact:)

I have no answers, you eastern folk have always baffled me a little. It does sound as though the tale carrier has some mental health issues of his/her own.

[MarkofT]

I thought SDMB is only available to residents of mental institutions.

Or is that just what it seems like? ;)

[Edward The Head]

Originally posted by FairyChatMom
So then the tale of you keeping a stable of well-oiled, scantily clad young studs in your attic is just a rumor??


It's not just a rumor, I just escaped yesterday. It was horrible I tell you, sex day and night. And when there was no sex we had to work out. She even made us shave our bodies! I barely escaped with my life.

Oh and I hope you got better.

[FairyChatMom]

As to why all these folks are spreading these stories about you: Who knows? Something half-heard or imagined grew all out of proportion. There were probably assumptions and speculations and the next thing you know, you're institutionalized... or rich... or married to Elizabeth Taylor... or juggling naked in Times Square on New Years Eve.

Maybe it's just me, but I'd have a laugh over the whole thing. Ya gotta think those who spend all their energy telling tales about you must not have lives of their own. As opposed to those of us who go online and make smart-ass comments about stables full of studs...

:D

[twickster]

Damn. I was hoping to keep the Liz Taylor thing quiet. It was just youthful experimentation, honest!

[Aries28]

I would start spreading really odd, strange stories about yourself in passing to people you still are in contact with and see how long it takes for you to become the ONLY talk at these meetings.

Besides, it seriously sounds like the person spreading these stories is the one who has the issue...not you.

I would be like you....WHY are these people talking about me after I left 15 years ago?

In fact, you might even take it as some sort of twisted compliment. :D

[Shade]

You know, this thread could be considered an answer to your question 'how do rumours get started' :)

[twickster]

Okay -- here's his answer, in its entirety:

The thing is so bizarre that I want to tell you the details in person. By the way, in jewish theology such rumors bring good fortune to the "maligned" person.

See you

Yikes!

Actually, though, it occurs to me now that I'm going to be up in that neck of the woods (north Jersey) Sunday, to go to a wedding -- which I've been dreading, it's a former underling, I won't know anyone, but I felt compelled to accept the invitation -- so maybe I'll set something up with C. This will also give me a good exit scenario -- "yeah, I'd love to stay another six hours making small talk with strangers and listening to this shitty band, but I have to go meet a friend..."

And hey, it's all just good fortune for me.

[Scuba_Ben]

I'm not aware of anything (in the Jewish theology I'm familiar with) that says that rumors bring good fortune. Lashon ha-ra, the nasty tongue, is a pretty bad transgression. So I would have to call for cite. (Unless zev can enlighten us?)

I can somewhat sympathize with you, twickster. I left a group (and changed cities) over 10 years ago, and only last year found out that someone made up out of whole cloth a highly nasty reason why I left!

I don't understand why some people have to invent a bizarre explanation, when truth does a better job of explaining the situation. Moreover, I don't understand why people would be talking about someone who hasn't been around in years.

[elbows]

I'd bet dollars to doughnuts that this misunderstanding was created by a well intentioned friend who felt a veiled illusion to the nuthouse was better than one to alcohal rehab.

Any takers?

[Homebrew]

Originally posted by twickster
On the advice of counsel, I am neither going to confirm nor deny the truth or falsity of any such rumor.

I will say, however, that if such a group were to exist, and if one of the young studs were named "Sergei," that particular individual -- who may or may not be living in my attic -- is not available to attend to the, uh, needs of any visiting Doper Wimmin. You know, after that very long "A" thread a few months back, I thought we had developed the type of relationship such that you wouldn't exclude me and swampbear from stables of well-oiled studs. *sigh*

[TaxGuy]

I bet stuff like this happens all the time, we just don't always hear about it.

When I was in college, I'd go home during the summer and wait tables or sell cars or whatever. Just about every summer it would get back to me that someone saw me at work and then told everyone that I dropped out of college to wait tables or sell cars or whatever.

[twickster]

Homebrew, honey, I don't know why it didn't occur to me to invite you and the lovely swampbear to join any cadre of well-oiled, well-muscled young men I may or may not know the whereabouts of. What can I say? Mi attic es su attic. (NB: The dibs I placed on Sergei against the anticipated incursion of Doper Wimmin extends to you two as well. Ahem. If such a person as Sergei exists, which, as I hope I've made clear, I can neither confirm nor deny.)

elbows -- yeah, it wouldn't surprise me to learn that rehab somehow got euphemized to "nuthouse" -- not that I personally find that an improvement. The thing is, though, that I entered rehab in 1985 -- almost 18 years ago. (17 years, 10 months, and, uh, what's today?, 6 days ago, but who's counting). This is such old news, and this is so not a secret. I am totally positive there were all sorts of rumors about me at the time -- I went through rehab in 12/85-1/86, then taught for another year and a half before throwing in the towel after teaching summer school in 1987. My "disappearance" wasn't total (I had one final article come out in 1988), and it wasn't secret -- but, yeah, major up-and-comer abruptly leaves the biz, I'm sure all sorts of stuff was said at the time -- luckily, no one told me about it.

The thing is -- this is 15+ years later. That's what I find so bizarre about this.

[rocking chair]

is sergei a ballet dancer? 'cause i have dibbs on all ballet dancers.

it is amazing how some things stick and others don't. the stupid nickname you got because your older brother mangled your name as a baby. anyone ever seen picking their nose is a nose picker for life.

i guess that the rumour about you, is the most exciting thing in some people's lives. rather sad that.

[twickster]

Well, it turns out I won't have to wait till Sunday, when I see C., to find out what the story is -- the source himself emailed me last night.

I've mentioned numerous times on the boards that in a previous incarnation, I was a sociologist of religion. In fact, I wrote the first scholarly study of Jonestown -- and that final academic article I mentioned in my OP was about Jonestown. I had this niche all carved out, and I was in fact developing a name for myself when I threw it all over in my premature midlife crisis in the late '80s.

The person for whom I wrote that final article was putting together a book on the 25th anniversary of Jonestown (coming up later this month) and wanted to find me. He did a google search on both my full name (twickster) and the nickname that everyone calls me (twicks). The "twickster" search led to numerous references to the book that came out in 1984, which is apparently still in some use, but nothing in the first page or two that would lead to me. The "twicks" search led to numerous references to a law professor in Hawaii, now dead, who was an expert in the Holocaust (and, in addition, a couple of puzzle references on the second page that are in fact me). This moron decided I was the Holocaust expert, and confidently informed a number of people that he had done a careful search for me and determined I was dead.

Effin' moron.

I am speechless with fury about this. How dare he tell people I'm dead, based on a half-assed google search? What kind of idiot assumes that a live Jonestown expert (sociology of religion PhD) in Philly in 1988 somehow morphed into a dead Holocaust expert/lawyer (LLD, presumably) in Hawaii in 2003? Why wouldn't this asshole spend more than five minutes on a google search if he was that effin' eager to find me?

Argh! argh! I am so pissed off.

I wrote him an email this morning, tearing him a new one over this -- I'll respond to the rest of his email later. But I can't. effin'. believe. that this guy would ...

Argh! Argh!

[Krisfer the Cat]

Somerset Maugham(??)

"The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated."

Or something like that!

Ya know for a dead lady you do send out some great books!:D

[Sat on Cookie]

WOW. What a JACKASS. Are you going to ask him to search his little, tiny noggin' for ALL the names that he spewed this gem to? I would insist that he personally email/call/write by pony express all involved and explain his error.

[sperfur]

Originally posted by Homebrew
You know, after that very long "A" thread a few months back, I thought we had developed the type of relationship such that you wouldn't exclude me and swampbear from stables of well-oiled studs. *sigh*
Homebrew, you and swampy are welcome to join and/or visit my stable of hunks anytime, as well. Perhaps twicks and I can share you? ;)

[CrankyAsAnOldMan]

You think that's bad? My husband has the same name--including middle initial, or a cardiologist here in town. They're even both affiliated with U-M. We occasionally get his mail. Two weeks ago we got a letter from Dick Cheney thanking him for his generous prior support and asking him to write another big fat check to become some variety of "charter member" of the Elect George W. To A Second Term Club. The letter was full of glowing references to the administration's many accomplishments and dripped with inferences that my husband had helped make it all possible.

In this household, we'd rather be considered dead than Republican.

I should also mention that once, when my husband was out of work, we got the doctor's offer letter from a private practice of cardiologists. (You see, there is no way to tell that the mail is not to us until we read the contents). The salary was staggering, and at the time somewhat discouraging.

[twickster]

Cranky -- I think you should frame the letter from Cheney. When I graduated from high school, I got a certificate for a "governor's award" based on gpa or some damn thing -- the state was California, and the governor at the time was Ronald Reagan. I'm disappointed now I don't know where it is, because I think it would be a fun trophy.

twicks, another "better dead than Republican" liberal

[Cat Whisperer]

Originally posted by FairyChatMom
<snip>... or juggling naked in Times Square on New Years Eve.

<snip>
:D
Just so's ya know, I mis-read this at first as "juggling naked in Times Square next to Eve." Which seemed entirely likely, since she lives in New York.

[Podkayne]

He told me the name of this person once, but was so flustered he wouldn't repeat it -- so it was a name I recognized, but I'm not sure I can place this person. It's possible she's someone who got a job later at a place where I'd had a one-year gig -- or came and gave a seminar there? Not someone I know, though possibly someone I've met.

Is it possible that this person whom you barely know, and who therefore barely knows you, has simply confused you with someone else?

[twickster]

No -- see my post of this morning (go up 6 or 7 posts) -- the person starting the rumor was someone other than the person I thought it was.

The person who started the rumor was looking for me, did a half-assed google search, came up with another person (in Hawaii) with my name who turns out to be dead, and decided I was the person who was dead. The person who started the rumor then, based on his five minutes with google, stated that he had definite knowledge that I was dead. The person who he told this to, who knows that I've been living in PA since 1987 since he gets a holiday card from me here every year, chose to believe this person for reasons that have yet to be explained.

In other words, the rumor is based on nothing I may or may not have done at any time in the last 20 years, as speculated -- rather it was based on some asshole deciding that some other person with my name was me, rather than making any effort to confirm whether that person was me or not.

[FairyChatMom]

Gee, twicks, I'm really sorry you're dead. I did so want to meet you.


:D

[Chimera]

Are you really sure you didn't go nuts and then die?

Because that's what I heard...

:p

[Sinshine]

I knew it. The man in the tweed coat said it was true, and I so wanted to believe it, because he showed me the website. But I knew Elvis was still alive!

[twickster]

Originally posted by FairyChatMom
Gee, twicks, I'm really sorry you're dead. I did so want to meet you.


:D

Yeah, me too. The whole being dead thing is turning out to pretty much lack an upside -- like, I still have to go to this effin' wedding today.

[Krisfer the Cat]

I still have to go to this effin' wedding today.


You can be the token ghoul. Teach them to have it so close to Halloween.

Don't forget to take the reindeer! :D