Damn Dirty Apes Terrorize New Delhi!

[Doomtrain]

Monkeys terrorize India workers, tourists (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20031102/ap_on_re_as/monkey_madness_2)

But the officials who work there are fed up. They've been bitten, robbed and otherwise tormented by monkeys that ransack files, bring down power lines, screech at visitors and bang on office windows.

The Supreme Court has stepped in, decreeing that New Delhi should be a monkey-free city after citizens filed a lawsuit demanding protection from the animals.

And if monkeys aren't scared of the LAWYERS, what'll we do? But apparently gangs of monkeys are ransacking offices and terrorizing the streets after dark.

Monkeys break into offices at night and paw through the files looking for food, he said. "Those who work late hours have to be careful when it is dark."

I, for one, welcome our new simian overlords.

[SanguineSpider]

Originally posted by GMRyujin


I, for one, welcome our new simian overlords.


Yeah, but you get to impregnant us female humans to make more slaves. How fair is that, dude? Not very. I admit... I'd look very attractive and sexy in a leather collar but come on. I'm not having children in a cramped, dirty cage. Don't even touch me. :rolleyes:

[DreadCthulhu]

Why aren't the people in India just shooting the pesky monkeys?? Or place small bounty on them, to get people to take care of them.

[Already in Use]

Originally posted by SanguineSpider
I'd look very attractive and sexy in a leather collarCite? ;)

Oh, come on, SOMEBODY had to say it!

[Aankh]

Originally posted by DreadCthulhu
Why aren't the people in India just shooting the pesky monkeys?? Or place small bounty on them, to get people to take care of them.

One doesn't confess to shooting monkeys in India. Hanumana (http://webonautics.com/mythology/hanuman.html) is a revered deity who just happens to be a monkey. He played a very important role in the epic Ramayana (http://www.maxwell.syr.edu/maxpages/special/ramayana/story.htm). Offing monkeys would be impiety of a very high order.

I can't stand the critters myself, though. I've hated them ever since one slapped my bum years ago.

[Bear_Nenno]

Maybe they should stop keeping food in the file cabinets!

[elbows]

Many years ago, while staying in Varnasi with the Mr, our room was broken into and ransacked, by monkeys.

At first we just thought we'd been robbed, then we saw the camera, and walkman, and other items of value.

But the room was a mess, garbage strewn everywhere, they got into our first aid kit but were mostly after the remnants of a juicy mango we'd consumed before going out, pit and skin all that was left though well wrapped and tied up in a plastic bag.

It was quite funny when we all figured it out.
They ate many birth control pills and charcoal tablets and Imodium. That could not have been pleasant for them I'm sure.

Damned monkeys!

[sunfish]

There is a colony of Rhesus macaques (http://www.szgdocent.org/pp/p-mcrhes.htm) that live in the woods just beyond the Delhi University Guest House on the north campus. I'd seen them in the garden out back but wasn't prepared to walk out onto my balcony and come face-to-face with one early one morning. The monkey screeched, I screamed, and a bunch of people were briefly panicked about the state of my safety. After that the appeal of taking my morning chai on the balcony was lessened considerably.

The macaques may be thieving little buggers but their bigger cousins, the langurs (http://www.szgdocent.org/pp/p-langur.htm), can be just as bad. I once saw one snatch a garland of marigolds away from a little girl and then retreat to a fence post to munch on the flowers contently...

[Ponder Stibbons]

Well, I'm sure they consider us a menace. A walking pestilence, even.

[Mr. Blue Sky]

Originally posted by aasna
One doesn't confess to shooting monkeys in India. Hanumana (http://webonautics.com/mythology/hanuman.html) is a revered deity who just happens to be a monkey. He played a very important role in the epic Ramayana (http://www.maxwell.syr.edu/maxpages/special/ramayana/story.htm). Offing monkeys would be impiety of a very high order.


Religion. Gotta love it.

[rocking chair]

sanguinespider, i got a sudden flashback of that strange scene from planet of the apes, where the female trophy ape was doing the dance of the veil for her general.

now i'm scared about the whole simian overlord thing. chez, first feline overlords, now simians.... oy!

[Katie bar the door]

:eek: The simian overlords have just recalled all the chairs!
(Seems they never use them.)

[Tars Tarkas]

Originally posted by elbows

They ate many birth control pills

I think we've stumbled across the answer we seek....

[rocking chair]

ack! not the chairs!!!

[Doomtrain]

Originally posted by Ponder Stibbons
Well, I'm sure they consider us a menace. A walking pestilence, even.

I dunno, we build them nice buildings to play on and bring them food (according to the article).

Wait, and we're the smart ones?

[DreadCthulhu]

Originally posted by aasna
One doesn't confess to shooting monkeys in India. Hanumana (http://webonautics.com/mythology/hanuman.html) is a revered deity who just happens to be a monkey. He played a very important role in the epic Ramayana (http://www.maxwell.syr.edu/maxpages/special/ramayana/story.htm). Offing monkeys would be impiety of a very high order.


Now, if they would just worship me, they wouldn't be having all these problems- I encourage monkey killing.

[SanguineSpider]

I don't have a collar pic but...

http://www.msnusers.com/mypicture?user=4263~5AAAAAAAUG70vztZVUDhinLgup0pj5s2Y5n3Oa0WDOPAzOYZAhus!MOQ$$~5AAAAAAAVGxMVEUqDv029 ogL6nHu4DDBt*9xTbnTZQ6Ys$

[SanguineSpider]

Darn it all to hell and back!!!!!!!! GRRRRR!

Be patient.

[SanguineSpider]

http://www.angelfire.com/goth2/wicked_wyne/images/heather1.jpg


There... I think.

[SanguineSpider]

Hmm, I like the first attempt better, tee hee!

[Aankh]

Originally posted by DreadCthulhu
Now, if they would just worship me, they wouldn't be having all these problems- I encourage monkey killing.
Problem is, you haven't done as much fun stuff as most of the gods in the Hindu pantheon. We like our Gods exciting, active and with colourful lives; dozy calamari, telepathic or otherwise, just don't quite manage to do it for us.

If it'll make you feel better, though, the
URL deleted - see below

[UncleBeer]

Moderator's Notes:
I have deleted the link in the above post for several reasons.
1) It appears that anything on that page takes you to porn sites and although that complies with our "two-click" rule, there's nothing on the linked page that really has anything to do with the topic at hand.
2) I have received reports from the membership saying that the link, when closed, results in several porn pop-ups. Although I did not experience this, it seems a real possiblity given the nature of the page. Also, I have a pop-up blocker installed and this may account for my negative results.
3) Although I didn't get any pop-ups, immediately after clicking one of the links at the deleted URL, my harddrive began spinning leading me to believe something was being installed on my machine without consent. A subsequent cleaning with Ad-Aware indicated spyware of some sort.
4) And the most damning, also after clicking the link in 3) above, Norton Anti-Virus quarantined at Trojan called "Trojan.ByteVerify." Perhaps part of the Spyware and perhaps something more sinister.

So, there's ample reasons for deleting this URL. aasna, I'm sure you didn't do this out of malicious intent, but please be more careful when posting links to the SDMB. Especially ones of such a questionable nature. Not all of our users are as cautious as I and just as I'm sure you didn't do this purposefully, I'm sure you'd not appreciate being on the receiving end of a potentially nasty surprise such as this.

[Aankh]

Oh dear! I had no idea! I'm terribly, terribly sorry.
I'll be more careful henceforth.

[Doomtrain]

Man, all that bad stuff made me all curious, UncleBeer.

Yes, I would open a door that said "ABSOLUTELY DO NOT OPEN", why do you ask?

[SanguineSpider]

*gives a smirking grin as she points at GMRyujin*

SHAME on you, man! SHAME! Don't push the red button, ok? Don't answer the phone when the killer is on the loose in the woods. Don't squeeze the damn Charmin!

[Ponder Stibbons]

We seem to have gotten off the topic of how to deal with those damn, dirty apes!!

Oh well, you know the saying, "Human see, human do." ...

[teela brown]

Don't you wish your tails were - so -
Curved in the shape of a Cupid's bow?
Now you're angry, but never mind
Brother, thy tail hangs down behind!

[Doomtrain]

Originally posted by SanguineSpider
*gives a smirking grin as she points at GMRyujin*

SHAME on you, man! SHAME! Don't push the red button, ok? Don't answer the phone when the killer is on the loose in the woods. Don't squeeze the damn Charmin!

Don't mind me. I heard there was a killer loose, so I'll just go downstairs to investigate the funny noises. Turn the lights on? Who needs em?

AHH! Oh, it's just the cat...AHH!

[Already in Use]

Originally posted by SanguineSpider
http://www.angelfire.com/goth2/wicked_wyne/images/heather1.jpg


There... I think. Ah, yes, she'll do very nicely. Very nicely indeed...


"Hello? Is the Simian Overlord Headquarters? Remember that possible Homo sapiens female specimen I told you about? Yes, that one. Can you send over a cramped, dirty cage ASAP?"

[SanguineSpider]

*heads for the hills in her skimpy cave woman outfit and home made leather collar*


Thank you though for your... ahem, interest.

[NutWrench]

Leggo my Eggo, ya damn dirty apes!

[Doomtrain]

Originally posted by SanguineSpider
*heads for the hills in her skimpy cave woman outfit and home made leather collar*

Now all we have to do to get her back is wait for Chuck Heston...

[SanguineSpider]

Young or old, he's yucky! *wail*


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