What do you think the "H" stands for in Jesus H. Christ? [Archive]

London_Calling

11-06-2003, 02:36 PM

Humphrey ?

Hannibal ?

Halitosis?

Omnipresent

11-06-2003, 02:46 PM

Originally posted by silenus
Haploid.

Seriously.

Really?

dorkusmalorkusmafia

11-06-2003, 03:04 PM

Haploid! Great answer! It means that he only had one set of chromosomes which is in direct opposition for sexual life. If I remember my college biology only asexual creatures can be haploid.

I don't have anything further to add. :)

lieu

11-06-2003, 03:17 PM

Halosporting

Moo the Magic Cow

11-06-2003, 03:25 PM

Horatio

LifeOnWry

11-06-2003, 03:30 PM

Howard, after his Dad.

You know, Our Father Howard in heaven.....

liirogue

11-06-2003, 03:34 PM

I had a black friend tell me once that it stook for "honkey" (or however you spell it) :p

Idle Thoughts

11-06-2003, 03:34 PM

According to this (http://www.geocities.com/church_of_hank/) parody website and group, it stands for Hank.

Omnipresent

11-06-2003, 03:48 PM

Originally posted by LifeOnWry
Howard, after his Dad.

You know, Our Father Howard in heaven.....

THAT is fucking priceless. Top notch!!!!

Weirddave

11-06-2003, 03:56 PM

Nah, it stands for Hallmark, 'cuz God cared enough to send the very best.

Ponder Stibbons

11-06-2003, 04:32 PM

I was going to post something smartass, but after Howard and Hallmark, anything I was going to post just sounds lame now ...

Good ones, guys!

VunderBob

11-06-2003, 04:40 PM

Hashimoto

Helen's Eidolon

11-06-2003, 07:00 PM

The master did a column (http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_033.html) on this.

panache45

11-06-2003, 10:56 PM

Harold

As in "Harold be thy name."

j666

11-06-2003, 11:17 PM

holy

SanguineSpider

11-07-2003, 12:20 AM

"Happy"
"Hound Dog" as in Jesus "Hound Dog" Christ for the blues band he jams with Friday nights.

I wonder who really knows the answer.

3trew

11-07-2003, 12:23 AM

This is less of a puzzle to me than the identity of "Round John Virgin" from the well known Christmas carol.

SkipMagic

11-07-2003, 04:51 AM

Hweertdydasbbfmfisuudhjqwvxxtyhfiusoplgflvmkndhu.

Pronounced as "Bob".

green_bladder

11-07-2003, 05:21 AM

Hubba.

jjimm

11-07-2003, 05:29 AM

Originally posted by 2trew
This is less of a puzzle to me than the identity of "Round John Virgin" from the well known Christmas carol. Or indeed Gladly the Cross-Eyed Bear.

Chicago Faucet

11-07-2003, 07:43 AM

According to Christopher Moore (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0380813815/qid=1068213224/sr=2-1/ref=sr_2_1/002-9842792-4478415), it stands for "Hosanna".

phraser

11-07-2003, 08:14 AM

Herbert.

godzillatemple

11-07-2003, 08:16 AM

[oblique simpsons reference]

His middle name is actually "Haitch"

[/oblique simpsons reference]

Elysian

11-07-2003, 08:16 AM

Heysoos.

(say it out loud, whydontcha)

Omnipresent

11-07-2003, 09:16 AM

Originally posted by Chicago Faucet
According to Christopher Moore (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0380813815/qid=1068213224/sr=2-1/ref=sr_2_1/002-9842792-4478415), it stands for "Hosanna".

Is that from the song by TOTO.

"All I wanna do in the middle of evening is hold ya tight - Hosanna, Hosanna"

SkipMagic

11-07-2003, 09:52 AM

Originally posted by Omnipresent
Is that from the song by TOTO.

"All I wanna do in the middle of evening is hold ya tight - Hosanna, Hosanna"

Heh-heh. That's what I was thinking when I read that. :)

FilmGeek

11-07-2003, 10:12 AM

In high school, we thought we were being clever by putting "Hitler" as his middle name.

The fundies didn't think so and we got written up.

wnorthr

11-07-2003, 03:16 PM

LifeOnWry, I thought it was Howard as in " ... Howard be thy name."

gonzoron

11-07-2003, 04:38 PM

Since "Christ" is a title more than a name, could it be: ", He's" ?

Horseflesh

11-07-2003, 08:20 PM

Homina-homina-how-wah

or more privately by his close friends: Homey, as in "Homey da Christ"

Fern Forest

11-07-2003, 08:21 PM

Hulk

Don't make him angry. You wont like him when he's angry.

teleute12

11-08-2003, 12:13 AM

For the Spanish pronunciation, Hey-sus.

3trew

11-08-2003, 12:14 AM

Originally posted by Omnipresent
Is that from the song by TOTO.

"All I wanna do in the middle of evening is hold ya tight - Hosanna, Hosanna"

Well, now we're getting into the territory that Elton John explored with his classic "Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza".

clayton_e

11-08-2003, 12:38 AM

Hell. Just because.

Chefguy

11-08-2003, 10:02 AM

In the great tradition of Maynard G. Krebs (of Dobie Gillis fame), whose middle initial stood for "Walter", according to one episode of the series, I hereby proclaim the "H" in Jesus H. Christ to stand for "Karl".

Dizzy Fingers

11-08-2003, 10:05 AM

Heifetz.

Urban Ranger

11-08-2003, 10:54 AM

Hu

:D

Adamcomic

11-08-2003, 04:35 PM

Originally posted by LifeOnWry
Howard, after his Dad.

You know, Our Father Howard in heaven.....

You have the name right, but not the quote. It goes: "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Howard be Thy name."

Always happy to help.

P.S.

By the way, if anyone really wants to know, it is covered in Cecil's archives.

Lobelia Overhill

11-08-2003, 05:01 PM

Humphrey

Sam Stone

11-08-2003, 06:10 PM

Our father, who art in heaven. Harold be thy name.

samclem

11-08-2003, 08:57 PM

Originally posted by Omnipresent
Seriously.
Why did you add "seriously?" in you OP?

Seriously. I want to know.

bughunter

11-10-2003, 02:59 PM

Gefiltefish.

Seriously.

Omnipresent

11-10-2003, 05:21 PM

Originally posted by samclem
Why did you add "seriously?" in you OP?

Seriously. I want to know.

'cause I was wondering what the history behind it was, not really how creative people can be.

Omnipresent

11-10-2003, 05:42 PM

'cause I was looking for some sort of historical reference and not so much creativity.

Omnipresent

11-10-2003, 05:55 PM

Sorry, the previous post took so long that I thought it got lost.

Tuckerfan

11-10-2003, 09:51 PM

Horny. Think about it. 33 years and NO sex? How could he be anything else?