Any husbands here who "took" their WIFE'S last name?

[Ranchoth]

...Kind of an odd question, but a pretty straightforward one, I think.

And, going by the odds alone, one's got to figure that it's happened at least once or twice.

So...anyone?

[Xerxes]

Not me (and not a friend of a friend of a friend either :D) but a colleague of mine. I knew him before he got married as one thing, and afterwards as another. Obviously no names, no pack drill, but FTR he lives in Canada (I figure that doesn't give too much away).

[Gala Matrix Fire]

I've known two guys who said they were going to take their wives' names, but I didn't keep in touch with them, so I don't know if they did.

[Marley23]

My girlfriend and I aren't engaged - well, duh, or she'd be my fiancee - but we've agreed that we'll take a different last name, neither hers nor mine, when the time comes. It's actually her middle name, so perhaps that counts? Or will count? ;)

[MsWhatsit]

MrWhatsit took my last name when we got married. His idea, his decision.

[Gyrate]

I know a couple that both adopted a joint hyphenated name after marriage, although I'm not sure that really answers the OP.

[ratatoskK]

There was some famous intellectual couple who traded last names (she got his and he got hers), but I can't remember who they are at the moment...

[Trunk]

I have a friend who did this.

His last name was smith. Hers was something more unusual.

[interface2x]

I know a former couple who didn't like either last name, so they both changed their last names to something different when they got married.

[FairyChatMom]

We discussed it, but after spending my life spelling my last name and correcting people's pronunciation, it was pretty much a no-brainer for us to use his name. The only bad part is it moved me farther in the alphabet - from R to W.

[StinkPop]

I offered to take my wife's surname, but she didn't believe I was serious so she didn't entertain the idea. She took my surname and seems happy with it.

We went to a wedding a few months ago where the bride and groom took the groom's mother's maiden name. Apparently the groom didn't like his father (he died in jail, I believe) so he didn't want his surname any longer.

[Coil]

My best friend took his wifes last name. His was more of the Smith variety and hers was a bit more uncommon.

[Lissa]

Originally posted by MsWhatsit
MrWhatsit took my last name when we got married. His idea, his decision.

Well, sure. Who wouldn't want a last name like Whatsit?

When my husband and I married, he offered to take my last name, but his was prettier.

[WordMan]

A buddy of mine took his wife's last name, and was interviewed by Katie Couric on Today for doing so....

I know a bunch of folks who "double-barreled" their names by hyphenating both...

I know one couple who "integrated" their names, becoming Berklee after fusing Berkowitz and Lee....

[Scarlett67]

I know a husband who took his wife's surname -- at her insistence, I believe, because his name was rather unsightly. (He comes from a family of several brothers, and none of the other wives took the "ugly" name as their own, although the other brothers all kept it.)

[Kizarvexius]

It happened in my family a few generations back. The wife absolutely refused to take her husband's last name, and to have such a horribly cacophonic name applied to their future children. Showing either a strong individualistic streak (or a complete lack of a spine) unusual for the 1800s, the husband agreed and took the wife's name.

Probably a good thing, too, because the name was Hess or Himmler (I forget which).

[JohnBckWLD]

My Godmother, before marrying my Godfather, lobbied hard for him to take her name.

She said hers was a nicer sounding:
(Burns) as opposed to his (Braster).

It never happened. He says the main reason was:
"I wouldn't be a matter of taking her name. To my family, friends, children & casual observers it would've looked like I purchased it...with my testicles.

For theists, the compromise usually is:
She takes his name, he takes her religion.

I guess with secularists a coin toss would be in order.

[Bongmaster]

I'm a little surprised at the number of men willing to do this. Maybe its some dark vestige of chouvanism in me but I could never take my wife's name over my own.

[Interrobang!?]

My wife and I both changed our names to something different -- my mother's maternal grandmother's maiden name, because we liked that one the best out of the family tree. I would've been willing to take my wife's last name, I think. (Nothing against my father or his family, but I wasn't crazy about my old last name and enjoyed the chance to change it to honor a significant lifetime event.)

[CrazyCatLady]

Originally posted by Bongmaster
I'm a little surprised at the number of men willing to do this. Maybe its some dark vestige of chouvanism in me but I could never take my wife's name over my own.

Sooo...would you ask or expect your wife to take your name? If so, why would you expect her to feel differently about her name than you do about yours?

[MsWhatsit]

Oh, for the record I should point out that my standing on the whole name issue was simply that I didn't want to change my last name. I have an unusual ethnic name that means a lot to me, while MrWhatsit's "maiden" name was one of the 15 most common surnames in the US. His response was, "That's fair; why don't I change mine instead?" I nearly fell over. But he felt strongly that as a family we should all have the same last name, and he wasn't particularly attached to his, so we did it.

My family was a little more approving than his was, although nobody really gave us any crap about it. His mom does still send us letters and cards addressed to the HisName-MyNames, though, even though we've told her a million times that we didn't hyphenate. Oh, well. If it makes her feel better...

[Jpeg Jones]

So what's the male equivalent of a "maiden name", then?

A "laddie name"?

[Dave_D]

Apparently my brother's in-laws did this. Of course I'm getting this second hand but apparently the mother's family was richer. So the end result is that he took her last name.(Actually my sister-in-law said it had something to do with Japanese culture. No idea if that's true since I'm of european decent.)

[Green Bean]

My husband and I both agreed that our children would have my last name. He did want to make sure that he had a name in common with his future children, but he wanted to keep using his own name, so he hyphenated. He generally goes by his laddie name, but used his married name on official documents and things.

We did get a lot of crap about this decision when we married. Lots of people condescendingly told us that we would soon get over our silly arrangement, and that I would end up using his name. And we would certainly give any children his name, because that's just the way it's done. Strangely enough, when we actually did give our child my last name, nobody said a word.

[gwendee]

Originally posted by interface2x
I know a former couple who didn't like either last name, so they both changed their last names to something different when they got married.

This shows up frequently in my school's alumni magazine. In the "Keeping in Touch" column I've noticed "Mary (Smith '90) and John (Jones '90) Houlighan welcomed a son on. . ."

I'm all for making it meaningful to you and so forth, but the one couple I was actually acquainted with who did this easch started out with one syllable, easily pronounced and spelled surnames. Now together they have one 3 syllable name which might be easy to spell or pronounce if you're fluent in czech.

[Max Torque]

I wouldn't mind changing my name, except that my last name is so unique (before my brother got married and had kids, there were only 6 of us in the United States) that I just can't abandon it. I feel like doing so would be a betrayal of my family, since there are so few of us. But, if my last name were something common, I'd probably change it. The idea of changing one's last name seems kinda neat to me, like you get to become another person.

[mouthbreather]

My wife took my first and last name.

[FilmGeek]

My brother and his wife took a new last name that described them, it apparently means "dark haired one" in German (part of their shared heritage).

I don't know what my boy and I will do if we decide to get married... I like mine, and he like his, so we discussed hyphenating, but that would make my initials NMNN. (we'll probably just keep our names) Also, our names are astoundingly similar. I've mentioned them on this board before, so I'll do it again, skiptracers be damned.

My name would be FilmGeek M. Newland-Neuman. Yeah, say it out loud. That's not right. Though it is our cat's last name.

[burundi]

My husband wanted to combine our last names. I thought the combination--"Bagrow"--sounded too much like where hobbits live. After much angsting, I took his last name and dropped my lousy first name, having always gone by my middle name anyway.

[Sublight]

I've met a fair number of couples in Japan who've taken the wife's famly name. In some cases, it's because the wife's family has only daughters, and they want someone to have grandkids that will carry on the family name. Others choose based on which family they'll live with or simply which name they like better. From what I've heard, it's about 95% husband's name, 5% wife's name.

So far, Japan doesn't allow couples to use separate names on their marriage certificate or on official forms. The issue comes up for discussion by the Parliament every once in a while, but either dies out or gets shouted down by the 90-year-old LDP farts who are still debating in between naps whether to withdraw the troops from Singapore. The only exception to this rule, interestingly, is when a Japanese citizen marries a foreigner.

[lee]

My husband took mine.

He said, one day early in our relationship, that he felt it was important that a husband and wife signal their unity under god by having the same name. I said that I was glad to hear that he was taking my name, as I would not change my name. He said he would be honored to take my name if I loved him enough to give it to him.

His last name was quite common and he was adopted late so did not have as much attachment to his last name as he might have.

[Gamaliel]

IIRC, Jack White of the White Stripes took his (now ex-) wife's name.

I couldn't imagine taking someone else's name, but on the other hand I don't particularly care what my future wife does namewise. The kids, well, cross that bridge when I come to it...

[Mariemarie]

My sister's ex-husband took her last name when they were married. We believe it was in an attempt to hide from various law enforcement agencies. He also had multiple social security numbers.

[Kakkerlak]

A good friend of mine changed his last name to his wife's last name about three years after they got married. They'd begun to plan on children (the first is due in a month !) and he decided that he had taken way too much teasing about his surname as a child and wouldn't do that to his kids.

Originally, his wife had changed her name to his, and it was relatively easy for her to change it back. [i]He]/i] needed a court order, though, because the county registrar said "that isn't done."

(His original name is, nearly, "Stinky".)

It may be a fraternal tendency; his brother's wife uses her maiden name.

[Johnny L.A.]

An old friend of mine got married back in the '80s. He and his wife both hyphenated their names. She has changed her surname at least twice, and I think (I've been out of contact with them for a while) that my friend is now using his wife's latest adopted surname.

[Marley23]

I know one couple who "integrated" their names, becoming Berklee after fusing Berkowitz and Lee....
Heh, we talked about doing this. The best name we could come up with was Searockett, which is why we ditched the idea pretty fast...
Hmm. I wonder if it's too late to suggest Sockett? :p

[Ludovic]

Do you realize, in the latest celebrity wedding (Soccer player-Baseball player) if he would have taken her name he would have been Nomar Hamm? :D

[Gyrate]

I offered to change to a hybrid name, but the wife wanted the full hyphenated shebang (which, considering her original name is a two-parter anyway, is quite long). I didn't, so I've kept my original name.

[astro]

Originally posted by FairyChatMom
We discussed it, but after spending my life spelling my last name and correcting people's pronunciation, it was pretty much a no-brainer for us to use his name. The only bad part is it moved me farther in the alphabet - from R to W.

You should be ashamed of yourself, Rumplestiltskin is a fine old family name.

[Bearflag70]

I grew up with an unappealing surname. I figured I would one day take my wife's name. I got engaged. I offered to take her name, but she did not want to be untraditional and insisted on taking my surname. So, I went to court and changed my surname to my mother's maiden name, which is actually quite a spiffy name indeed. Then, the engagement fell apart for other reasons, and I moved away. Now, I have my mother's maiden name, and I like it.

In a related story, my oldest brother and his wife modified our family name upon marriage, but only slightly (to the old Germanic spelling). They now have two girls. My middle brother kept the family name but he does not want children. As mentioned previuosly, I have my mothers' maiden name. So, we have a family of three boys with three different surnames, and the family name will probably not continue in any form.

[badmana]

I actually want to take my GF's last name but she's more traditional than I am and refused. Her Bulgarian last name sounds russian...I would have loved to have had her name.

It's better that she takes my name though, since I'm the only male on my father's side (all of my cousins on his side are women) so I'm the last to carry my name. My GF has a brother to do that for her family.

[Primaflora]

When Mr P was first married he took his then wife's mother's maiden name as did she. He then published a couple of books in that name.

Left the wife, moved in with someone else. After he left her, she changed her name to the mother's maiden name as well.

Then he met me. I was the only person in the country with my surname and when we married I was damned if I was changing it to the name he uses. If he had not published extensively using that name, he would have changed again, possibly to my name, possibly to something completely different.

With the kids, it got tricky. I was not amenable to using the ex-wife's name for my kids. First kid was stillborn and was given a hyphenated surname. Second kid we fought to the death because I was not prepared to hyphenate and use that name on a daily basis. He ended up with that surname as a middle name.

Third kid, Mr P went in to register the birth and completely forgot to put his surname as a middle name.

I think the person who is most bothered by all the shenanigans is my father who would honestly prefer we all used the same name because he thinks everyone thinks we are living and breeding in sin.

[najniran]

back in high school i had a friend whose last name was Ferrari. I woulda married her and taken her last name in a heartbeat. ;)

[RealTronic]

Originally posted by najniran
back in high school i had a friend whose last name was Ferrari. I woulda married her and taken her last name in a heartbeat. ;)

Hmm... I went to university with someone whose last name was Ferrari.... I concur on the "married and taken her last name in a heartbeat" !!

[iampunha]

I have no real affinity for my last name, so I have no issue whatsoever with taking fizzy's. She has no issue with taking mine. Once upon a time (not sure if she still feels this way) we settled on becoming the Bagginses. That way one of the cats would be, quite literally, Frodo Baggins.

[Coldfire]

I don't understand the concept of adopting someone else's name when you marry to begin with. I'm not going to adopt my future wife's name, and I don't expect her to adopt mine.

Of course, when you get children, the matter DOES become relevant. We'll see what happens them.

[JohnnyYen]

Me and the significant other have no plans to marry or breed, but if we did I'd definitely want her name on two grounds:

1. She's double-barreled, and the sort of people who care about that sort of thing are more likely to cut double-barreled people some slack;

2. My name is Duffy. A fine old Irish name to be sure, but unfortunately it rhymes with "scruffy". And "puffy". And "huffy". And "fluffy". And is far too similair to "duffer", "duff beer" etc. I couldn't make another kid put up with that for their entire playground career.

[Loneraven]

I may be making this up, but wasn't this the case with Pierre and Marie Curie? He took her last name.

I'll have to find a cite for this. Bear with me...

[Dangerosa]

I didn't take my first husband's last name and he didn't want to take mine (stubborn). So we took a third. I did a legal name change and then he took mine.

Then we got divorced. He kept "my" last name, I kept the last name for a while and eventually went back to my maiden.

[Fretful Porpentine]

Originally posted by Loneraven
I may be making this up, but wasn't this the case with Pierre and Marie Curie? He took her last name.

I'll have to find a cite for this. Bear with me...
He changed his name to Sklodowska (or Sklodowski, I guess)? Seems unlikely.

As for the OP -- I don't intend to change my name if I ever marry, nor would I expect my hypothetical husband to change his. It seems like a silly custom, and getting a new passport is expensive.

[Loneraven]

Ah, I must be making it up then. I think it was my dad who told me that - I'll find out from him if I'm mixing it up with something else.