View Full Version : If you knew, long in advance, a relationship was going to end...
12-27-2003, 04:23 PM
...would you continue that relationship until its demise?
If you knew, due to outside circumstances, that a relationship would have to end...what would you do? Break off the relationship, or enjoy the remaning time?
12-27-2003, 04:47 PM
Well, it's outside circumstances, so it ain't like it's your or the other person's fault. Just enjoy the time you got left, get yourself laid and whatnot.
12-27-2003, 04:47 PM
As long as it was a good relationship while it lasted, yeah, I probably would.
12-27-2003, 05:14 PM
I've got an aquaintance that has been going out with this girl for about 4 yrs. now. He says they have a great relationship but he'll never marry her because she gave up a child to the father and rarely seeks vistation with the child. So basically he feels she makes a bad mom. My feeling is; why is he waisting so much time on someone he wouldn't marry? I know he wants kids, so I just don't get it.
Sorry if this is way off base from the OP; with the little info given it seemed to fit.
12-27-2003, 05:23 PM
I know in advance that ALL my relationships are going to end: I pick them carefully to ensure that there is no chance of them having any long term solution. My neurotic fear of commitment does not prohibit me from becoming very attached to people I am close to, so I just try to put all I have into relationships while they DO last, and not fall into the trap of thinking every little upset necessarily signifies the premature end. Every relationship I have is with people I like and respect, and all past relationships have helped to form the person I am. You have to enjoy them for what they are, and concentrate on the good bits. If/when it ends, make sure you have happy memories.
12-27-2003, 05:53 PM
My current SO was with someone else for 5 years. The first 3 years were great, but apparently she wanted to leave him for the last 2 years. He didn't know this. I think he asked her to marry him three times, the first denial was because of financial reasons. The last two were during the 'demon' years. He found out she wanted to break up on the Thanksgiving holiday last year, from her mother. And that she had wanted to end it for two years.
Boy, is he a cynical guy now. She kept trying to 'mold' his personality/actions/etc. So now I spend some good moments explaining that, yes, I like him for who he is, and no, I don't ever want him to change. (He's more of a jokester than a serious guy. Which I like. Guess she didn't.)
C'est la vie. But there are many times when I'd rather he not have to go through those years and have had a happy relationship with her, then to have those memories. Even if it meant never being with me. He always covers up her face when he shows me photos of trips/dogs/family.
12-27-2003, 05:59 PM
Whether it's a breakup, a divorce, or a death, all relationships end. That doesn't stop us from getting into them, nor should it.
We've all got a finite amount of time here on earth, but it's SO MUCH FUN to pretend otherwise.
12-27-2003, 06:07 PM
I say stick with it. Relationships, like life, are more journey than destination. It's not about where you end up (compost heap), it's how much fun you have getting there (hot sex). :D
12-27-2003, 06:47 PM
It depends on what I want out of a relationship, I guess. If I wanted children and someone to share my retirement years with, that might keep me from 'investing' time in a relationship that wouldn't give me what I considered my ultimate goals.
12-27-2003, 06:53 PM
Absolutely. Every relationship teaches you something, good or bad, and if you can apply that learning to a future relationship, then it's worth it.
12-27-2003, 06:53 PM
My ex was moving and I was staying. (we'd been together for about 4 years)
I tried very very hard to end it on adult terms. Inviting her to a sweet 'fairwell' dinner on her last night etc.
Instead she choose to fight with me every day about stupid stuff and start an up affair in the last couple of months the final straw is when she told me she wasn't going to stay for the dinner instead she was going to stay at a 'friends' house the last few days (she actually thought I was dumb enough to not know the affair was going on) so that day I packed her stuff and changed the locks.
If I was with a more stable invidual I think it would have worked ok but she was just bound and determined to make that last 4 months as miserable as possible
12-27-2003, 08:52 PM
What Rhubarb said.
Unless s/he's cheating on you, and you absolutely for sure 100% know it, stay the course. You might surprise yourself.
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