Pitting the twits from Sat. night, and a question for former shoplifters.

[alice_in_wonderland]

A little background: as some of you may know, I work part-time as a cosmetician. It’s fun, I get to play with make-up and get paid for it, and I get a discount on my stuff. Excellent.

Saturday I was working. My shift was from 12:30 – 9:00PM. At around 1:00 PM the culprits arrived. Two 14 year old girls. They acted suspicious right off the bat so myself and the other cosmeticians were keeping a close eye on them. Each one of us approached the girls at least 3 times, referred to the stolen swag clearly visible in their see-through Suzy Shier bags and offered to ring the items in at the cash. Twice, I caught them ripping open packages to remove items and said I would take the package to cash so they could pay. The other cosmeticians did likewise.

Basically, the jig was up. These girls were made by at least 3 of the staff. We had a merchandiser tailing them. We would bust them, they would leave and then they would come back through another entrance and start trying to rip us off again. Finally, at 6:00 (yes, they had been back and forth for 5 hours), our plain-clothes security officer came on. I tipped him off. The ninnies in question left the store, and as he was about to nab them, they actually came BACK into the store and put more stuff in their bags. Finally they left, he caught them and hauled them back into the store. Their parents were called. The security guard elected not to phone the police because the girls were only 14. The combined total of the stuff they tried to steal was over $200. We’re talking about stupid $4 lip glosses, so you can guess how much crap they thought they were going to get away with.

When mom #1 showed up, I actually almost felt sorry for ninny #1. Mom came in and was so mad, she no longer had lips. All she said, through gritted teeth was “I’m here to pick up the thief.”

So – to the girls:

You two are obviously morons. Just a tip – once you’ve been “made” by at least three members of the staff of the establishment you’re trying to rip off, it might be a good idea to find a different target. If you don’t, not only does it make catching you really, really easy, it’s rather insulting to the staff to assume we are so stupid that we won’t recognize you the 4th time you come in the store.

Crying does not make us sympathetic to you – it just makes us want to slap you silly. You’re lucky that the security dude we had on was one of the nice ones. Most of them call your parents AND the cops. And yes – for crap over $200 we WILL press charges.

Finally, understand that your photos have been circulated to all the other retailers in the mall, as well as to our other store locations. You are banned from our “totally cool” store for the next year. If you are caught again, charges will be pressed.

Now (non-snarkily), to ex-shoplifters (or current ones if you’re feeling wacky) – what’s the motivation? I can honestly say that I have never ripped anything off. As a youth, it never even occurred to me to do so until the local MP’s (I grew up on army bases) gave my grade 5 class a “Don’t shoplift” talk. Not only was I shocked that people stole from our local store, where all the clerks were really friendly and nice, even to kids, I was so scared shitless by the talk even if I’d wanted to after that, I was too frightened to do so.

I don’t get it. I had a friend in high school that used to steal shit. Her dad was a Dr. The crap she took was stupid stuff she didn’t need, usually not even in her size. The girls on Saturday took stupid stuff too – 3 eye pencils the same color. Pens. 4 makeup brushes exactly the same. They obviously weren’t trying to outfit their makeup cases, they were just stealing for the hell of it.

So? Anyone want to ‘fess up? What’s with that?

BTW – other “stupidest shoplifters ever” stories are welcome.

:)

[Gadfly]

I'm sitting in my favorite gaming/hobby store. A not-exactly-inconspicuous fellow wanders in, accompanied by various smells, that make it immediately obvious that the guy has:

(A) Smoked enough ganja to kill a small yak.
(B) Forgotten how to use toilet paper.

The guy tried to make a grab a few times, and each time, the clerk just gave him a really, really, really hard glare. Eventually, he ran off, clutching his genitals.

[Lynn Bodoni]

When mom #1 showed up, I actually almost felt sorry for ninny #1. Mom came in and was so mad, she no longer had lips. All she said, through gritted teeth was “I’m here to pick up the thief.” Heh. I sort of wish we had the rest of the story. I bet she's grounded until she's 39.

When I was a teenager, I shoplifted a couple of items. A deck of cards in one store, and an eraser in another store. Mostly I just wanted to see if I could get away with it. I felt so guilty afterwards that I went back to the stores and snuck the items back on the shelves.

[liirogue]

I remember I was in Toys R Us several years ago (I was pretty young) and it was around Xmas time. This teenage boy got in line next to his mother, and obviously had either a puzzle or board game under his t-shirt. No jacket and he really wasn't even trying to hide it. My mom tipped off the security guard, but he said he couldn't do anything until he tried to leave. His mom made him go put it back, though, and she looked pissed.

[Lute Skywatcher]

Originally posted by alice_in_wonderland
Now (non-snarkily), to ex-shoplifters (or current ones if you’re feeling wacky) – what’s the motivation? I can honestly say that I have never ripped anything off. As a youth, it never even occurred to me to do so until the local MP’s (I grew up on army bases) gave my grade 5 class a “Don’t shoplift” talk. Not only was I shocked that people stole from our local store, where all the clerks were really friendly and nice, even to kids, I was so scared shitless by the talk even if I’d wanted to after that, I was too frightened to do so.

I don’t get it. I had a friend in high school that used to steal shit. Her dad was a Dr. The crap she took was stupid stuff she didn’t need, usually not even in her size. The girls on Saturday took stupid stuff too – 3 eye pencils the same color. Pens. 4 makeup brushes exactly the same. They obviously weren’t trying to outfit their makeup cases, they were just stealing for the hell of it.

So? Anyone want to ‘fess up? What’s with that? Its' a cry for attention, they think they can get away with it, they get a thrill from stealing, they're kleptomanics, who knows?

I was probably a #1 & #2. Got caught once and that was enough.

[Catfood Purrito]

Back when I was a freshman in college, both my roommates were hardcore shoplifters. It was their hobby. They shoplifted from Walmart exclusively, their rationalization was that it's an evil corporation, they deserve it, blah, blah, blah, plus I think they got a thrill out of it. They would go on daily trips and come out with copious amounts of utter crap crammed under their clothes, mostly from the craft section. There was an article in the newspaper about a rise in shoplifting at Walmart, most remarkably in the craft section. I feel pretty confident that much of that rise was due to the roommates. They were very proud of their accomplishment. :rolleyes:

Now, I was young, impressionable, wanted to fit in with the new roommates and have them think I'm cool too, so I participated as well, despite huge guilt (Mom was a store manager, it was drilled into my head from a very young age that stealing is very, very, very, very bad). Got caught once, and after that, I went to Walmart alone. Never shoplifted again. My only motivation was sheer peer pressure. Soon after that, I came to the realization that my roommates were assholes (for more reasons than the shoplifting) and moved my ass out.

I also have a stupidest shoplifter ever story. Back when I worked at the Kum & Go (chain of convenience stores mostly in Iowa), I had a teenage guy come in to the store in the middle of July wearing a big winter coat. He spends some time back at the magazine rack, then comes up to the check-out with a can of Coke....and approximately 5 inches of porno mag sticking out the bottom of his coat with his arm clutching the front to keep it from slipping out.

Now, if he'd just skipped the buying-a-Coke pretense and left, I probably wouldn't even have noticed, I was alone, and it was pretty busy.

I thought about letting him walk out the door, then running out and stopping him and calling the cops, but it was so pathetic, I really felt sorry for the guy. Besides, the impending embarrassment was going to be punishment enough.

So, I just sort of looked at him, eyebrows raised, eyes moving down to the magazine, then back up to his face. He says "what?" and I said, "come on, dude," and he looks down and turns bright red and pulls it out and starts stammering, "I...I...I'm gonna pay for it!" and I say, "okay, can I see some ID?" "I...I...it's for my brother!'' So I said, "sorry, no ID, no porn." He threw down a dollar for the Coke and fled, leaving the magazine on the counter. Then the rest of the customers and I had a really good laugh. :D

[GuanoLad]

What does the term "made" mean? I guess it means spotted, targetted, or something, but I've never heard it before.

[laigle]

This is why I can't stand petty criminals. I mean, not only did it take them 5 hours to make $200, but they let themselves get dragged in by a plain clothes mall cop. I mean, what the hell kind of criminal scheme is this? They do shit more hard core than this on kids' cartoons. I mean, if you're going to go on a multi-state shooting spree after knocking over a bank, at least you're putting some thought and effort into the whole thing.

I'm not a former shoplifter, but a few people I knew back in high school were. Several in fact. None of them ever grabbed things that were worth money, or that they'd actually want. Not that they had a moral code, the wheels just weren't spinning too fast upstairs. I think it's just a way for the unimaginative and chickenshit to feel like they're bucking the system.

Whereas I was a real rebel. I used to wear a lot of black and I grew a beard senior year. That showed the man. But hey, that's what high school's for. Not knowing crap about anything.

[Flutterby]

I knew a guy who shoplifted.. he actually got some pretty expensive books that way.

He explained it all to me. He would go to the local Comic/RPG store and place an order for a book they didn't have in while his friends would pick out books they wanted and set them in such a way so he'd know which ones they were. The friends would all leave and he'd go around picking them up and walk out right past the front counter with them. With his hand on the door to leave he'd get told "Thanks for coming" and then walk out with hundreds of dollars worth of books. (Ranging from $20-50 CAN each)

He was a very blatant thief. The night I met him he bought us drinks then tried to walk out on the $70 tab.. with thousands of dollars in his pocket from his student loan. That night he was caught though. I never let him pay for everything after that unless I knew he was actually going to pay for it.

[alice_in_wonderland]

Originally posted by Mishell
It was their hobby. They shoplifted from Walmart exclusively, their rationalization was that it's an evil corporation, they deserve it, blah, blah, blah,

The store I work at is one of a very large chain. Occasionally, I've been told, the owner (franchisee), when she's in (she's a pharmacist) will go into the back where the shoplifters are kept while we're waiting for the cops. If they're young girls, on the verge of crying, said owner, who's tiny, and sweet faced and nice, has been known to go up to them and introduce herself and say "I'm the person you're stealing from."

If they weren't crying before that, they were always crying after.

[headshok]

Once, about ten years ago, me and a buddy stole a couple of packages of fake crabmeat from a supermarket. Before that, in high school, my friends and I occasionally stole things, although not from a store per se. We'd steal small street signs, traffic cones, stuff from hotels. Stupid shit, really. And it wasn't like I could walk into my parents' house with a big orange cone or a brass lamp or something, so most of the stuff just got thrown by the side of the road before the night was over.

Why'd we do it? I don't know exactly. We were usually drunk. Sometimes we thought it would be funny; you know, we'd see a sign with the name "Butts" on it or something and decide to take it (yes, we were quite the witty bunch, my friends and I). There was a bit of a thrill to it as well. I don't recall ever feeling like I was "sticking it to the man" or fighting corporate hegemony or anything. I was just a dumbass kid for the most part.

Anyhow... Eventually my friends and I just grew up and stopped stealing stuff. We never got caught, for some reason.

[Reepicheep]

Before I was 10 I stole candy. I wanted to eat it and I didn’t have the money to pay for it, that was my motivation. I never took anything but candy. I was caught one day and my mother was called. I was spanked in front of the store personnel, spanked at home, I had to write a letter expressing my sorrow and asking for forgiveness, and I had to walk to the store each week for two months and give them my allowance.

I have not stolen anything since then. Well, technically, I have stolen from my employer and several stores by taking pens, but I have not intentionally taken anything since I was 8 or 9. I think my parents handled the entire affair brilliantly. I hope that the parents of your two shoplifters react as well. The mother of one of them sounds like she will do a good job of it.

[Odinoneeye]

I once stole a book from my high school library. We had gotten a big lecture on their security system and how we couldn't steal anything. When I spotted a flew in their system, I had to take advantage of it.

I later put the book back in the returns slot.

[Rilchiam]

I was a freshman when I did my shoplifting. 14 when I got started and 15 when I got caught the second time.

Reasons? First, I really wanted "cool" things. I didn't take stuff just for the heck of it; I took stuff I really wanted. I remember a dress that looked absolutely stunning on me, that my mom never would have bought, or let me buy...It is hard to resist when you've found what seems to be a way of making things happen for yourself, and you have no other.

Which is pretty much the second reason. I couldn't find any other way to...assert myself, I guess you'd say. I know every ninth grader thinks their parents are too strict, but mine really were. At 14, I was still having to live under the same rules as when I was 10. Since I wasn't allowed any of the normal avenues for establishing independence (I wasn't allowed to join a church youth group, frex), I felt I had no choice but to do something really bad.

Although it was originally my friend's idea, I wouldn't call peer pressure. I could have said no. I had said no to some other stuff she'd wanted to do, but I wanted to do this. My choice, my consequences. She was bolder than I, though, so she averaged three items for every one I got.

The first time I got caught was actually after the fact; a store employee recognized me from the security video recorded on an earlier visit. Well, my mom went ballistic, much like Mom #1 in the OP, and that put me off it for a while...but there were still a lot of unresolved issues between us. I know how it sounds to talk about "fair" when I was the one who broke the law, but I never felt that she handled the situation fairly. To her, it was not about the crime itself, but about the fact that I wasn't going along with the plan she had for me.

So one day, about a week and a half after school let out, "Wendy" decided to go on a spree. First we got a bunch of stuff from a boutique, then went down the street to her mom's office and left it in the trunk of her car. This turned out to be a wise move, from our perspective. After that, we went to a department store and asked for a shopping bag (I referenced this in the Wal-Mart bag Pit thread a few days ago, in fact!), then headed to a record store (remember those?) and proceeded to fill it with LPs.

Yeah, I know.

Anyway, my life started to change the moment a salesclerk said, "Excuse me...would you girls like to step over here?" Incidentally, we weren't anywhere near ready to leave the store, but they detained us anyway. We were in Illinois, if that explains the discrepancy between that and what alice and liirogue saw.

Neither of us cried. I kind of had a panic attack, and I think I made them nervous that I was going to bolt. Wendy was 17, but lied and said she was 16. She had to be bailed out; I didn't. We both had handcuffs on for the trek from the store to the security office. (My mom was absolutely beside herself with glee to hear this later. "You just love this, don't you?" I asked, and got my face slapped for it. But she really did seem like she was enjoying it. Self-fulfilling prophecy for her. See below.)

Now, the store where I currently work has the security office right by the employee entrance to the parking garage. I've overheard (not as in hanging around and eavesdropping, mind you) stuff like a woman whose purse had been stolen while she was trying on clothes*, and, of course, detained shoplifters. Once, I heard this from a guard:

"Look, I know you guys are scared, but it's not gonna help anything if you don't calm down. I just need a number where your parents can be reached. I want to get this over with just as much as you do...."

Would that the guard who processed us had been as humanitarian. I got the definite impression that if there hadn't been a witness---the store employee who called him---we would have walked out of there with bruises and bumps. He did ask us if we'd been ripping off other stores earlier, and seemed frustrated to get a negative response and to be unable to send us to the women's prison at Stateville. But as I mentioned, we'd stashed the stuff we'd taken earlier, and no one at those stores made the connection AFAIK.

So it ended with us banned from the mall for a year. I complied with this, though Wendy did not. And there was a very bad, very protracted scene at home with my mom. She broke the microwave; let's leave it at that. My dad was out of town at the time, and I'm fairly certain that to this day he does not know.

After my mom calmed down (two days later, no exaggeration), we did finally have a talk and clear the air. For a long time---hell, since I was five---she'd been overreacting to everything: stuff that wouldn't even register with a normal parent was seen by her as a clear indication that I was either going to "be a hooker or work at the five and dime". Was she really surprised that it had come to this?

So the rules were relaxed somewhat. I know that sounds backwards, but you didn't live in that house. Also, Wendy's mom came to the house for a summit conference, and I think that had some influence as well. Her attitude was that there was no undoing what had been done, so let's talk about where we go from here. Must have been a novel idea for my mom, whose usual MO was to never, ever allow a chance for reprieve or to live anything down.

Interesting coda, though. Wendy's family moved away that fall, and before she left, I went to visit and say goodbye. I really was making an effort to turn my life around. I knew I'd been on a collision course, and it was time to stop being destructive and start building. To this end, I had joined the school newspaper. So my mom sent me out the door to Wendy's with a list of dire predictions as to what would happen if I got in any more trouble, and her parting shot was, "And I'll make you quit the paper!"

"Great," I thought. "Take away my biggest motivator and leave me with nothing, just like I was before." But nothing happened, and after about a year, I'd finally accrued enough positives that she let it go.

Oh, and laigle:

This is why I can't stand petty criminals. I mean, not only did it take them 5 hours to make $200, but they let themselves get dragged in by a plain clothes mall cop. I mean, what the hell kind of criminal scheme is this? They do shit more hard core than this on kids' cartoons. I mean, if you're going to go on a multi-state shooting spree after knocking over a bank, at least you're putting some thought and effort into the whole thing.

We weren't thinking that far ahead. I remember my mom mocking me for allegedly thinking I was "smart" and "knew better" than people who were "trying to make a living", but it wasn't any kind of criminal scheme. We were teenagers, and that's how teenagers think. I wanted books and clothes; Wendy wanted music and batteries, and we both wanted to do something on our own. Another factor I should have mentioned already is that both of us kept house while our parents, moms and dads both, worked. We'd been proving that we were responsible...but got treated like criminals no matter what we did. So what was the point of trying? We didn't want to be Thelma and Louise, if that movie had even been out yet. If anything, we wanted to be Cher, from Clueless, though that movie was even further in the future...but we didn't have her carte blanche, let alone her allowance. So we made our own opportunities.

*Now that's something I really don't understand: crimes against the person. Yes, I know, as alice pointed out, that stealing from a store is also against a person. But a store proprietor's not gonna lose stuff like family photos and her address book; just the merchandise.

[Ice Wolf]

Originally posted by GuanoLad
What does the term "made" mean? I guess it means spotted, targetted, or something, but I've never heard it before.

It means the subject has been identified as a shoplifter/criminal, and not just an ordinary member of the public.

[gluteus maximus]

I worked as a "floorwalker", a plainclothes retail security guard, at Sears when I was in university. I had to walk around the store, pretending to be just another customer, and catch shoplifters. I can definitely say that, without exception, none of the people I caught were in any way "needy". From time to time, professionals would hit the store, but the everyday run-of-the-mill shoplifters were bored teenagers... and retired men!

My first arrest was a 74-year old man. I watched him put a set of dogbone ratchet wrenches ($49.95) under his sport coat and head for the door. Technically, concealment of merchandise constituted theft, but my boss' policy was to wait 'til they were out of the store to nab 'em, because it made a better case (Sears prosecuted all adult shoplifters).

So I followed him into the parking lot, stopped him and showed him my "badge", retrieved the wrenches, and asked him to accompany me to the Security Office. He was shaking like a leaf! I had to stop three times; once to let him catch his breath, then to let him get a sip of water from the cooler, then to let him take his nitroglycerin tablet (!). When I worked the morning shift, retired men seemed to be the main shoplifters. My theory was that they had come to the mall with their wives, and were bored.

My "stupid teenager" story: He wasn't really a shoplifter... more of a vandal. It was around Christmastime, and Sears had lots of kids in the store because they'd expanded the toy department for the holidays. I was watching these two boys (about 14 years old) because they'd been in the store a long time with no parents or purchases. They wandered over to the boys' clothing department, and were browsing through the circular rack of flannel shirts. The taller kid leaned over and put his face down between the shirts, and then stood up. Both kids laughed, and then went back to the toy department. I checked the rack of shirts, and discovered that he had spit his mouthful of chewing tobacco and juice into the breast pocket of one of the shirts.

Sears' policy re: juvenile shoplifters was to call the police and then the parents. We'd have to hold the kid until both the cops and M&D showed up. Major PITA. I was (supposedly) working alone that night, so I wasn't too happy about catching a juvenile. When I took the kid back to the Security Office, I was surprised to find my boss, "interviewing" another shoplifter. I showed him what the kid had done with the shirt, and my boss just looked at the kid and said "How much money do you have on you?" The kid pulls $8 out of his wallet. The price tag on the shirt was $7.99 (this was in the '70s... and no sales tax on clothes in PA). My boss told me to take the kid to Customer Service and have him pay for the shirt. "I hope it's your size.", my boss said to the kid.

The very next night, I saw the kid back in the store, with his parents, wearing the shirt!

[SkipMagic]

Originally posted by gluteus maximus
Technically, concealment of merchandise constituted theft, but my boss' policy was to wait 'til they were out of the store to nab 'em, because it made a better case (Sears prosecuted all adult shoplifters).
I'm sure it varies from state-to-state in the U.S., but I didn't think that it was considered theft (under the eyes of the law) until the unpurchased merchandise left the premises. After all, cases could be made (thin as they may be) that the would-be thief absent-mindedly put the item in his coat pocket and was planning on paying for it the entire time.

I knew a person who, over the course of her time shoplifting, managed to walk away with one full computer and monitor, four separate laptops, three laser printers, under 10 but over 5 inkjet printers, 4 to 5 hard drives, numerous CD-ROMs and CD-RW burners, plenty of other supplies for the above, a pager (back when they were much more popular) and plenty of telephones. Never got caught, as I understand it, and just eventually gave it up because she said she grew out of it.

[51 cent]

Well, to be of help to would be 'lifters",

{Deleted. Lynn}

[ratty]

Two stories: I used to manage a small video store, and people were constantly trying to steal from us. Teenagers, boys in the 10-12 range, couples in their 30's and 40's, and males in their mid to late 20's were always the culprits, and they all had different but equally ridiculous MO's. The teenagers always tried shoving items in their pants, the boys always shoved them under their shirts, the couples always shoved them in the woman's handbag while the guy hovered suspiciously, and the guys in their 20's always shoved them in their jackets. Always. It was bizarre, like they'd all read some manual on how to be a half-assed shoplifter. They always got caught by either being noticed by a staffer actually seeing them steal or by setting of the alarms as they tried to leave the store. A surprising number of them cried and begged us not to call the cops. We always did though. I always felt like their true crime was being such abominably bad thieves.

I also used to know this guy who was some kind of "professional shoplifter". He worked with 3 other people and they were dedicated- they had all manner of plans for stealing, for selling the items they stole, knowledge of store security, camera placement, etc. Except they never made any money doing it. They would steal things like microwaves and re-sell them for less than a third of their retail price. On the single microwave they managed to get out of the store at a time. I asked him once why they didn't steal jewellery, since it's small and easily concealable and usually worth money, but he said it was too difficult and that "nobody steals jewellery anymore". This was years ago, and the last I heard he was in jail for robbing a sporting goods store.

[GingerOfTheNorth]

Originally posted by 51 cent
...bunchacrap...

I can not for the life of me understand why you would post helpful tips for THIEVES.

[Dung Beetle]

When I worked at Eckerd's we used to get ripped off all the time by people who would come in, pick up a case of beer and just haul ass. We weren't allowed to chase them, and I wouldn't have anyway, so we just waved our hands ineffectually as they sped out.
Once a couple working together got a nice camera. A man and a woman came in and asked to "see" a particular camera. They wanted to have it taken out of the packaging. I called a manager to take care of them (it was night and we were the only ones in the store besides the far-away pharmacist). So she came up and spent some time struggling with the packaging, and as she was engrossed in this, the woman put another camera in her purse. Neither of us saw her do it, so I'm assuming that's when it happened. Anyway, they decided not to buy the camera the manager showed them, and walked out. As they did, the alarm sounded and the woman took off. The man stood blocking the doorway with his arms raised, saying "What? What?" Then after the lady had a good head start, he dashed out as well. We waved our hands ineffectually.

[Gorgon Heap]

I used to lift stupid crap like candybars, fireworks and collectable cards. The reason? I just didn't have money and I wanted stuff.

It was fun while it lasted, but this was all before I was even in High School, so I was pretty young.

One summer I got caught with some candybars and was led away handcuffed in a cruiser. It was the fist time I had been caught, and it wasn't even the police thing that got me.

It was the simple fact that I was caught that made me stop. I no longer knew if I could get away with it, and it last it's flair.

So that was it. Never did it again. [shrugs]

[Ca3799]

A kid I went to high school with was a king of shoplifters. I hated to go anywhere with him for fear of being caught by association. He would steal anything, and yes, he later stole from me, too.

He was incredibly bold. At a record store or clothes store, he would collect the items he wanted and simply walk out with them. And I mean big armfuls of stuff. His motivation was just to get lots of free stuff for himself.

Someone else I knew had a winter coat that was cut on the inside near the waist and would slide things into the lining of the coat. This person stole wine from convenience stores.

I haven't really stolen anything except perhaps some candy as a kid. I just don't have to urge, plus I would probably die if caught.

[Ca3799]

Dungbeetle, I meant to mention- in our neighborhood, stealing beer like you described (grab and run) was called a "Wahoo" because neighborhood etiquette required you yell "Wahoo" very loudly as you ran out the door.

[Kwyjibo]

Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth
I can not for the life of me understand why you would post helpful tips for THIEVES. Because he's an idiot?

(But that's jut my 51 cents...)

[Lord Ashtar]

Hi, my name is Lord Ashtar, and I was a teenage shoplifter.

I used to walk into a CVS (general convienence store) with an empty backpack and walk out with it just full of stuff. I'd always load up on candy and magazines, and would sometimes walk around and see what else I could get away with. One time I made out with this shelft you put up in your shower, just because it fit in my backpack.

Once I walked into a Sam Goody (a music store), stuck two cassettes (Metallica's Black Album and Nevermind by Nirvana) under my jacket and walked out. The alarm didn't go off. So I got greedy and walked back in. The alarm went off this time, but since it went off while I was walking in they couldn't touch me. It went off again as I left the second time which attracted some looks, but nobody said anything.

Then I tried to steal from Sears. I wanted a White Sox hat. You know, the black one with the white logo that everyone was wearing in the early 90's. As I was walking out the door, two security guards came jogging up to me and caught me. My dad was pissed off, but since I had never done it before, I would learn from this and never do it again. At least, that's what he thought. I was just glad they weren't calling the cops, since the hat was only like $10 and they could see I was scared as hell.

I never did shoplift again. I didn't need the candy or the magazines, and I eventually lost the cassettes. When I think about why I did it, I can't come up with a good reason. I wanted the stuff, and I was getting away with it for so long that I thought I always would.

[dwc1970]

I knew some kids in high school who were big-time kleptos and I have several stories, none of which involved me being guilty as I have never shoplifted. Only one of them I considered a friend (I'll call him "Tony"); the other two (I'll call them Beavis and Butthead) were just tag-alongs that I got stuck being with as they associated more closely with my friend. Anyway...

When we were sophomores in high school none of us had cars at the time, so every day we'd walk to a nearby convenience store during lunch (it was an open-campus high school). While I only went in there to make legitimate purchases, my friends (Tony, Beavis and Butthead) were in the back by the beer/wine section waiting for the right opportunity. On more than one occasion after we walked out I noticed one of them had swiped a bottle of Thunderbird (I think this is what it was called). On the walk back to school they'd pass the bottle and each take drinks back and forth. I didn't want anything to do with this scheme and therefore I didn't partake in the consumption of the illegally obtained (and possessed) beverage. Anything that wasn't consumed by the time we got back to the school was tossed into a nearby ditch.

Another time we had gone into a clothing store, Butthead took three shirts into the changing rooms. He came out of there, having put all three shirts on underneath the one he wore into the store. When we left the store he bragged and showed us how proud he was of his latest achievement. :rolleyes:

Beavis and Butthead had a bad influence on Tony, who was starting to become bolder and braver with his own five-finger discounts. We were in K-Mart one day looking at the records and tapes. I pointed out several tapes that I wanted to get but didn't have the money for them. In no way did I ever ask him or even imply that he steal them for me, but when we got back to my house I was shocked to see that he had swiped five of them, having stashed them in his coat, complete with the plastic frame that is intended to discourage such theft in the first place. I told him I didn't want the tapes as I could not enjoy listening to them with a clear conscience.

Tony continued to make off with several pilfered items here and there over the next few months, but after awhile, Tony's luck ran out. He got busted for trying to steal a can of Copenhagen. He had gone out the door ahead of me after buying some candy and a book and I was just following along, completely unaware that he had stolen anything. I was stopped by a security guard who asked me where I was going. I said, "to my car." He then asked me where my friend was going and I told him the same thing. He took both of us into the back room and made us empty out our pockets. I was scared and angry the whole time that Tony got me into this situation. Once I was determined to be innocent I was let go. Tony, however, was detained. He remained in the store for several hours as his mom was several miles away, on duty as a ski patroller at the nearby ski resort. Needless to say she was very pissed off when she had to come down from the mountain and into town and get her son at the store from which he had shoplifted. I hope this was when he learned his lesson as I never heard of or witnessed any shoplifting incidents from him after this.

Beavis eventually reformed and grew out of his shoplifting habit (in fact he even works in the same place I do), but Butthead had strayed from the group and was caught repeatedly for other incidents of thievery. Last I heard he was doing time somewhere in Washington state.

[Left Hand of Dorkness]

I had a friend in my home town whose chutzpah I admired in spite of myself. Assuming she was telling the truth, several times she paid the rent by shoplifting expensive clothes from department stores and then returning them for a cash refund.

At least her motives were pretty clear.

Daniel

[Velma]

I worked one summer in a store that is now out of business, probably partly due to the high amounts of shoplifting that occurred there. We caught stupid people all the time, but I can't say I really blamed any of them for trying, as that store really had no security at all and was ridiculously easy to shoplift from.

The best one was when two people shoplifted a couch and got away with it. They just picked it up and carried it to their truck. I wasn't there that day, but I was told a lot of people saw them carrying it out. Everyone just assumed they had paid for it, because no one would be carrying a couch out of a store in plain sight unless they had, right? I had to give them credit for that one, it took balls.

They didn't realize it had been stolen until that evening when someone realized there was no record of a furniture purchase that day.

[Aries28]

I stole a pair of scissors from a store when I was around 7 years old. I have no idea why...I just wanted them and my mother told me she wasn't going to buy them.

Later she found me in my room using the scissors to cut out some paperdolls and she drove me back to the store, made me go in and apologize to the salesclerk and manager of the store and I got a spanking when we got back home.

When I was around 16 I worked in an antique store during the holiday break for a family friend and I stole 2 little figurines from her. Just picked them up when I was doing inventory and put them in my bag. They probably cost about $25 each. I felt so guilty afterwards that I ended up coming in on a Saturday and helping her wrap gifts for customers for free. I guess I figured that by not getting her to pay me it made up for it somehow.

I never stole anything else after that.

[angelicate]

Unlike a lot of my high school friends, I was never a big shoplifter.
I think the first thing I ever took was a lipliner, and then a lipstick, just by taking them out of the box and sticking them up into my sleeve. I think I took cheap jewelry here and there (I'm talking 5-10$ range.) and that's really about all I can remember. I was always afraid I was going to get caught.
Oh, I took underware once, because they were really cute. That was my last time stealing anything, though, because i was at the store with 2 friends and a girlfriend of one of them who I barely knew, and she was walking around with her big purse saying "Oh, you like that? I'll get it for you!" and just dropping stuff in left and right. I noticed someone following us around, so when it was time to leave, I left before her and as she was leaving, I heard them ask her to step back inside.
We also used to take stuff from Goodwill and Salvation army, but it was really more of a tradeoff, as we'd gather up a backpack full of thrifted clothes we didn't wear anymore and trade them out for new ones. On the day she'd gotten caught, we had an entire backseat full of clothes, and it was in my car. That was enough to scare me off of never taking anything again.
My friends, though...I had one friend with a big purse, who would go in, put two pieces of clothing on a hanger, take them to the fitting room and put the one she wanted in her bag. She did take a skirt and dress for me, but that was it. She got a ton of clothes for herself. Her boyfriend wore those big, baggy Jnco jeans that were popular in the mid-90s, and he'd go in and tie clothes around his legs, and walk out with them under his huge jeans. I told another friend that I liked a hat at a store and she put it on her head and walked out with it. I was always too afraid of getting caught to do any of that.
As far as I know, the friend grew out of it, and her boyfriend went on to get arrested for robbing numerous homes.

[Sweetums]

I have known a few shoplifters in my time. The first was a young lad who often played a thief in D&D. He would shoplift small items and call it "being Blodget" (a hobbit thief he often played). It was a thrill thing. The fact that I threatened bodily harm if her ever did it again, cured him of this habit. Stealing candy bars is a thrill, having your butt kicked is not. ;)

The second was a bit different. She was a "professional" shoplifter. She became one when she became pregnant due to practicing her normal profession (the oldest). Hey at least pregnancy kept her off the streets.

Her services were simple, you would tell her what you wanted, and where it was located, and she would steal it for you. She would then collect 25% of the origional price.

Did I mention I grew up working in my father's retail store? I was also working retail at the time. I did not approve of this woman's shoplifting, and told her if I ever saw her in the store where I was working at the time, every security guard in the place would be told who she was.

[alice_in_wonderland]

Originally posted by 51 cent
moronic rantings

Well dude - in case you didn't know, your "advice" is the oldest game in the book. Whenever I get two people coming in and one of them asks me about eye cream and the other disappears I page a code 99. Guess what - that means "There are a set of morons in the cosmetic department trying to get away with shit." Our store security heads over pronto - guess what - they get a $$ bonus for each lifter they catch.

Secondly, while many retail clearks are overworked and underpaid, all of them are not. I make about $15/hour when you factor in commission, which is decent for a part time job standing around playing with makeup. Also, as I said previously, the owner of my store is a sweet, kind lady. If anyone tried to assult her, not only would I not be impressed - if the opportunity presented itself, I would slap them silly.

Next time, keep your stupid "advice" to yourself. And just 'cus I'm in that kind of mood, I've reported your post to a moderator - posting avice on how to commit illegal acts is a no-no around here, which anyone with half a brain would know.

[Coldfire]

Originally posted by 51 cent
Just advice. Right. And the next time you post instructions on how to break the law, it will be the last thing you post.

[Lute Skywatcher]

Originally posted by alice_in_wonderland
- posting avice on how to commit illegal acts is a no-no around here... Psst...alice, so is posting that you reported the post.

[alice_in_wonderland]

Really Jeff? Humm - I don't think I knew that... CRAP!

Sorry mods. Please disregard any previous mention by me of any posts that may or may not have been reported.

[ivylass]

I used to work at Ross during college, which is a clothing store.

We had the normal people running out of the store with stuff, with our stockboy in hot pursuit. He lived for stuff like that. We even had one couple leave their baby behind in the carrier while they ran out with their loot.

The other thing thieves would do is switch tags. I was working the fitting room, and this woman returned some clothes she'd tried on. I noticed the tags were wrong, since each tag had a code that told us if it was a skirt or a blouse or pants or a coat or whatever.

I called up front and warned them at the register what she was doing, and they called me for a "price check" when she went to pay. I think she ended up leaving with nothing.

Then, there was the time a woman was screaming through the door to open up, since we had closed an hour earlier than we should have.

I reminded her that the day before we were supposed to set the clocks forward, and she slunk off.*

*Not a shoplifting story, but something that popped into my head.

[Lord Ashtar]

Originally posted by angelicate
Her boyfriend wore those big, baggy Jnco jeans that were popular in the mid-90s, and he'd go in and tie clothes around his legs, and walk out with them under his huge jeans.

You've got to admit, that's pretty damn clever.

[raz]

I've stolen numerous things over the years. Almost everything I've stolen, I stole my freshman and sophmore years of high school.

I used to steal makeup, lip gloss, candy, cds, movies...just little stuff like that, during the colder months when I had my Adidas coat with the big pockets. I remeber one time my friend Laura and I were loading up on crap and a security guard followed us clear into the lobby. We busted it to her car and she flipped him off!

But that was about 2-3 years ago and I haven't stolen anything for a while*. The reason I stole was simply because I wanted stuff, and I didn't have money. I didn't get a rush from it or anything. I was just consistently broke.

Ok, New Years Eve my friend and I went to pick up a birthday cake for our other friend with her baby picture on the front. We decided to save her mom money so we just walked out with it! Out the main doors of Wal-Mart. No one so much as batted an eyelash. Sure was funny though, to tell everyone we got the cake for free!

[Spiff]

25 years ago when I was in high school, I stole a board game from a local hobby and craft store. (Ironically, it was called "Billionaire" -- a "Monopoly" knock off.)

Anyway, I got out of the store and back home O.K., but how I got that big of a box out of the store without detection I don't honestly remember.

But the rest of the day and evening and until I finally went to sleep that night, I sat looking out my 2nd story bedroom at every car that drove by our house. And every car that drove by caused my heart to race and my palms to sweat -- a classic panic attack/adrenaline rush (and not the good kind, either).

You see, I was so afraid that the store owner had figured out who ripped him off that he had called the cops and they were driving over our house right now to bust my ass.

I decided then and there that I hated that intense feeling (fear of being busted) so much that I gave up shoplifting forever.

Scared straight, I guess, by my body's sympathetic nervous system.

[Cat Whisperer]

Originally posted by roadkiller
I've stolen numerous things over the years. Almost everything I've stolen, I stole my freshman and sophmore years of high school.

<snip> The reason I stole was simply because I wanted stuff, and I didn't have money. I didn't get a rush from it or anything. I was just consistently broke.

Ok, New Years Eve my friend and I went to pick up a birthday cake for our other friend with her baby picture on the front. We decided to save her mom money so we just walked out with it! Out the main doors of Wal-Mart. No one so much as batted an eyelash. Sure was funny though, to tell everyone we got the cake for free!
I may be misunderstanding here, but it sounds like you are justifying your stealing, and you seem to think that what you did at Wal-Mart was funny, not criminal.

I'm not sure where people get the idea that stealing anything from anyone is anything but a crime.

[Nanoda]

Dunno what any of those "tips" were, but one seemed to imply underpaid clerks wouldn't care... which I think is crap. My least-paying job was working at a gas-station, and nothing pissed me off more than the drive-offs, money scammers, and even that one guy who I swear stole that bottle of Coke, but I couldn't prove it. Getting minimum wage and knowing someone got something for free didn't make me apathetic - it made me fantasize about the shoplifter, the broom closet, and the portable emergency car boost battery.

[Lute Skywatcher]

Originally posted by Nanoda
Dunno what any of those "tips" were, but one seemed to imply underpaid clerks wouldn't care... which I think is crap. My least-paying job was working at a gas-station, and nothing pissed me off more than the drive-offs, money scammers, and even that one guy who I swear stole that bottle of Coke, but I couldn't prove it. OTOH, one of our friends has gone after shoplifters at the grocery store where he works. This once resulted in him spending about four hours in the courthouse on his day off; after that, he says "never again!"

[Knowed Out]

A friend of mine used to be a heroin addict. He told me he'd walk into a K-Mart, load up a cart with stereo equipment, than push it out of the store as if he had paid for it. He'd then sell the stolen goods for his fix.

Another friend has a teenage son who got busted for shoplifting. He tried on a new pair of shoes, with a new pair of socks. He told the cashier he was wearing the shoes and that he'd pay for them. He didn't say anything about the socks. The security guard nabbed him on the way out.

My friend got called by the cops. He came to the store, as well as his son's mother. On the way back to her house, she told the son, "Don't do that again. You're not any good at it!" My friend added, "And it's WRONG!" The mother said, "Yeah yeah yeah, but you don't know how to keep from getting caught." My friend added "AND IT'S WRONG!"

When my friend was finally alone with his son, his son told him his mother taught him and his sisters that was the way you got free socks.

[Silver Serpentine]

I hate to admit it, but I've shoplifted before.

This was when The Cody and I were flat broke. We'd steal books from B&N (I'd only steal from there because it was rediculously easy to steal from) and sell them to Half Price Books to pay for electric. Never made enough for rent, but at least we had power until we moved out. Well, sometimes we'd take books we actually wanted, like graphic novels for Cody, or philosophy books I wanted.

I've also had klepto friends. Adam and Jenni. Adam would steal the strangest things from anywhere. I honestly can't remember everything he stle, but I do remember him stealing a buttload of buttons for me. Jenni would occasionally steal from places with supposedly great security systems just to do it. Other times, she'd steal food and leave it on my counter. One time, she stole several boxed frozen pizzas. I'd occasionally refuse to go into store with either of them because I was afraid of getting caught.

Which Adam eventually did. We were on vacation from Austin (before I moved up here). Went to Cedar Point, then came to where I now live to visit my dad before we went to Chicago (which we ended up not doing). We went to a little town's Meijer store to get movie and trip snacks before we went to see Star Wars II before we headed to Chicago. Note: The Cody had blue hair, I had blue/purple/black hair, and Adam had green hair. Stood out like a sore thumb. As we leave, Adam gets busted. We drop the groceries off in my car before going back inside to try to find out what happened. I knew he shoplifted, I just didn't know what, of if he'd be getting arrested. Couldn't just leave him there, 1,200 miles from home. He ended up getting arrested, and his and my dad had to communicate back and forth to get him bailed out ($200) before Cody and I could leave for home (by this time, it's too late to go to Chicago). Needless to say, The Cody and I were pissed, his dad was pissed, and Adam was banned from my dad's house. Not to mention being wanted in several states (never showed up for court, duh).

Over what, you may ask?

A pack of cigarettes.

Jesus.

[51 cent]

Another way to break the law,

Kidnap Lynn Bodini and Coldfire. Tie both of them to a tree next to an fireant hill. Pour honey all over them. Just sit back and watch both of these turds get tortured by the bites. Then laugh and walk away.

Is that illegal also? So is censorship in the United States.

To Coldfire and Bitch Bodini! I'm back!


Sincerely (not really)

Senor Boogie Woogie
Broadway Danny Rose
Shep Proudfoot
Corndog Man
Jeff lebowski's brother
Crazy Grady
Cowboy Smith
Slim Monkee
Member
Senor Woogie Boogie
Mr. Fu
51 cent

[Mr. Miskatonic]

Originally posted by 51 cent
Is that illegal also? So is censorship in the United States.

:rolleyes:

Another person who doesn't understand private vs. gov't censorship.

And I don't think the half-life on penny plus brain here is going to be long.

[carrot]

Originally posted by Jeff Olsen
Psst...alice, so is posting that you reported the post. Is it really? I always thought that the only taboo about administrative stuff was the ignore list.

[alice_in_wonderland]

Originally posted by roadkiller
I've stolen numerous things over the years. Almost everything I've stolen, I stole my freshman and sophmore years of high school.

I used to steal makeup, lip gloss, candy, cds, movies...just little stuff like that, during the colder months when I had my Adidas coat with the big pockets. I remeber one time my friend Laura and I were loading up on crap and a security guard followed us clear into the lobby. We busted it to her car and she flipped him off!

But that was about 2-3 years ago and I haven't stolen anything for a while*. The reason I stole was simply because I wanted stuff, and I didn't have money. I didn't get a rush from it or anything. I was just consistently broke.

Ok, New Years Eve my friend and I went to pick up a birthday cake for our other friend with her baby picture on the front. We decided to save her mom money so we just walked out with it! Out the main doors of Wal-Mart. No one so much as batted an eyelash. Sure was funny though, to tell everyone we got the cake for free!

Wow. Your parents must be very proud.

[Grumple Grommit]

Sincerely (not really)

Senor Boogie Woogie
Broadway Danny Rose
Shep Proudfoot
Corndog Man
Jeff lebowski's brother
Crazy Grady
Cowboy Smith
Slim Monkee
Member
Senor Woogie Boogie
Mr. Fu

I'm sorry, what? I honestly can't recall taking notice of any of these names.

[OpalCat]

Originally posted by Dung Beetle
When I worked at Eckerd's we used to get ripped off all the time by people who would come in, pick up a case of beer and just haul ass. We weren't allowed to chase them, and I wouldn't have anyway, so we just waved our hands ineffectually as they sped out.

A guy I was good friends with in high school was stabbed to death working at a convenience store by some guys snagging a case of beer. They killed my friend... over a case of beer. Fuckers.

[soulburnz]

People who walk out of places with cartfulls of merchadise is prolly more common than we know. Think about it... if someone sees it happening they figure they are supposed to be doing it. That no one would have enough balls to do it if they weren't supposed to be.

My ex husband walked out of a grocery store with a cart jam packed full of groceries [ended up being about $200 worth]. We were staying with a friend and he called us to come and get him at the store, he said there was something wrong with the van. He had gone to get cigarettes and was nowhere to be found when we got there. However... the van he drove there in was full of food. Our friend went and got the manager and helped him load it all up and take it back into the store. We found out later my ex was hiding in the bushes watching the whole time. He was slightly pissed that he was foiled. He felt totally justified in doing it... cause we were running low on cash at the time.

We later lived across the street from a grocery store and he would take empty plastic sacks in with him - stuffed in his pocket and load them up and just walk out the door. He would also walk out with 12-paks of beer or big huge hams. I'm lucky he never pulled it while I was waiting in the car for him some time... I would have been busted for being the "get away driver". His excuse was again that we were broke... so instead of getting a job he would just steal stuff. He always felt like the world owed him anyway... most likely the motive a lot of the time.

He started stealing from a very young age. It was almost second nature to him. I wouldn't go anywhere with him for fear I would get busted right along with him. He only got busted once when we were married. He stole a leather coat that was hanging in a restaurant... and a 1/2 gallon of vodka from the bar there. He had the biggest imaginery balls in the world. Walked right out the door with them. They called the cops and they were soon knocking on our door. He spent the night in jail... no big thing for him. Coincidentally it was the same time we were staying with the friend from the grocery store incident above. Some people never learn...

[Dung Beetle]

Originally posted by Opal
They killed my friend... over a case of beer. Jesus, Opal! I was thinking more along the lines of getting knocked over or punched in the face.

[Dung Beetle]

Uh, that was directed to OpalCat. Sorry.

[TheLoadedDog]

When I was eighteen, I got a job in the liquor department of a Grace Bros Department Store in Sydney.

The first day on the job was an induction course. They gave us a talk about shoplifters, and how to spot them. This talk included a detailed explanation of several shoplifting techniques!

How much company loyalty has an eighteen year-old who has been on the job for less than a day? And they taught us how to shoplift???

I still remember the techniques. No, I've never used them, but they were methods I'd never have thought up on my own.

[Lute Skywatcher]

Originally posted by carrot
Is it really? I always thought that the only taboo about administrative stuff was the ignore list. AFIK, yes you're not supposed to annouce that you've reported a post. Probably has something to do with implying you think the the author of the post is a troll.

To the banned guy with multiple personalities: get a life. Might want to get psychiatric help while you're at it. ;)

[Redhawke.the.bard]

Only thing I ever stole was back when I was eleven, though it was much more in the nature of vandalism (not trying to excuse it - just being precise). The town I lived in at the time had a main drag with one of those lit letterbox signs that are used to spell out different messages. Because we were remarkably uncreative, we stole the last two letters off the sign saying "The Fulton Assoc" We did it late at night, but it was always fixed by the next morning. We must have done it six or seven times before we quit. It was incredibly funny to us at the time. Then again, we were eleven in a small Arkansas town. Beavis and Butthead had nothing on us...

[OpalCat]

There is a building near the University of Arizona that has, in HUGE letters painted on the side of the building, "Happiness is Submission to God"...

Directly following that is a large area of discolored paint. At least once a month someone paints "zilla" afterward, you see, and they need to paint over it.

[CartoonSuperHero]

Alright, I confess. Former shoplifter here. I've lifted books from Half-Price, but only because it's so ridiculously easy. Do they really think somebody who WANTS to lift books will heed the 'do not take merchandise into the restroom' sign on the bathroom door?

I also lifted a hardback copy of "Brain Droppings" from a Waldenbooks once just to see if I could get away with it. It was a HUGE and really heavy book and I wanted to see if I would get caught. I had a rather large empty leather purse that was obviously empty when I came in. I walked up to the aisle where the book was located, picked it up, looked at it and decided I wanted it. Not because I needed it, or even because I liked tGeorge Carlin. I just wanted to see if I could get away with it, so I stuffed it in my purse and calmly walked out. Then RAN out of the mall to my place of work across the street, expecting somebody to come after me, which never happened.

But since getting married, I have not thiefed anything serious..mostly just pens from work.

CartoonSu