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Scumpup
02-09-2004, 11:53 AM
Some nominees:

1. Gilbert Gottfried- I know the voice is supposed to be annoying. Too bad that appears to be the sum of his act.

2. Jerry Lewis- his performances are so bad and unfunny that it is actually painful to watch them.

3. Andrew "Dice" Clay- I guess it is possible to make profanity and misogyny funny, but he didn't. Never came off as more than a foul-mouthed lout.

4. Andy Kaufman- I understand he was mainly entertaining himself, not the audience. Wonder if annoyed himself as much in the process as he did me? Dreadfully, wretchedly unfunny and embarassing to watch.

5. Gallagher- what a cretin.

Shodan
02-09-2004, 12:57 PM
Can't remember the name (for which I thank God), but there was someone with a special on HBO some years back.

His act consisted of imitating (IIRC) his mother, and saying, over and over and over,
"He was like a crazy person!"
"You'll put your eye out!"
"We're big-pants people!" for twenty-five minutes.

Or fifteen at least, which is when I turned it off.

That's it. That was his act.

Regards,
Shodan

Frank #2
02-09-2004, 01:13 PM
Carrot Top!

B. Serum
02-09-2004, 01:25 PM
Shodan: You're thinking of Kevin Meany. And I concur. There are comedians I find a lot less funny, but none more annoying.

Sweetums
02-09-2004, 04:40 PM
Pauley Shore!

Saw his "standup routine" on HBO a few years ago when his movies were still popular.

The act consisted of Pauley standing in front of an audience (all obvously stoned out of their skulls) and talking is his "Wee, zHul" voice. That's it, no jokes just an anoying voice. Every now and then he would mention the name of a drug, eliciting hoots from the audience members who were taking the drug in question. I found myself watching the whole thing just because it was so train-wreck-bad.

Thankfully he seems to have droped off the face of the earth.

kasuo
02-09-2004, 04:42 PM
Margaret Cho.

Also, the one who is on the bank commericals (on the radio). The one that comes to mind is the one where she goes on and on about the word "fine."

HumanStromboli
02-09-2004, 05:43 PM
Pauley Shore!

Thankfully he seems to have droped off the face of the earth.

Unfortunately, no. He's still hanging around in a similar manner to how Vanilla Ice (or whatever his real name) is hanging around.

He played a small club in the old hometown a few months ago; he was on the local CBS affiliate's noon news to promote it . . . and dropped an F-bomb on live television. Poor anchor woman had to shrug it off with some *nervous laughter* and trudge on.

kunilou
02-09-2004, 06:09 PM
Y'all need to go back and listen to old-time radio for really bad comedians.

Imagine entire routines, not just for three minutes at the end of Leno or Letterman, but for 5-10 minutes EVERY NIGHT, that depended on

Weird ethnic accents
Grown adults talking like children
Women practicing illogical logic
Sounding like you're drunk
Racial/ethnic stereotyping
Funny sound effects
A ventriloquist act -- on radio (to be fair, Charlie Mccarthy did get off some good lines)

Governor Quinn
02-09-2004, 06:26 PM
Y'all need to go back and listen to old-time radio for really bad comedians.

Imagine entire routines, not just for three minutes at the end of Leno or Letterman, but for 5-10 minutes EVERY NIGHT, that depended on

Weird ethnic accents
Grown adults talking like children
Women practicing illogical logic
Sounding like you're drunk
Racial/ethnic stereotyping
Funny sound effects
A ventriloquist act -- on radio (to be fair, Charlie Mccarthy did get off some good lines)

Backing kunilou up, I've mentioned (in a thread similar to this) that two of the most annoying comedians that I've ever heard the acts of are Jack Pearl and Joe Penner, radio "comics" of the early 1930's.

Pearl's entire act consisted of him speaking in a mock German accent, going "Vass you dere, Sharlie?"

Penner's act centered around one line: "Wanna buy a duck"?

(BTW, kunilou, care to mention by name some of those other targets? I've almost certainly heard them, but I need the names to know for sure.)

Starving Artist
02-09-2004, 06:38 PM
Janeane Garofalo

Julius Henry
02-09-2004, 07:01 PM
Judy Tenuta, and I can't believe I'm the first to post that one.

heater
02-09-2004, 07:07 PM
You beat me by a few minutes Julius Henry.

That was the fist person I thought of when I saw the OP.

pung
02-09-2004, 07:10 PM
Carrot Top!

Holy crap a friend 'scored' free tickets to a Carrot top show in Toronto.

I've never known such pain!

During the show I kept thinking back to Invasion of the Body Snatchers, I was sure that at any moment someone would notice that I wasn't laughing, point and SSCCCCCREEEEAM.

Oh, to warm up the crowd Carrot Top played video of groin injuries and animals humping things (people for example).
Carrot Top was especially fond of saying "that's some funny shit" I'm not sure if he managed to convince anyone though.

Chefguy
02-09-2004, 07:19 PM
Buddy Hackett. This is a guy who made a career out of being butt-ugly. Never was, is, or will be funny or considered even mildly amusing by anyone other than someone with the comedic acumen of asphalt.

Ray Romano: monotoned, annoying, overhyped, unfunny.

Collin Quinn: somebody just shoot me

Margaret Cho: funny for about 20 seconds back in...oh...1990 or so.

friedo
02-09-2004, 07:47 PM
Lewis Black. His entire routine consists of being pissed off at stupid shit.

Mr. Blue Sky
02-09-2004, 08:08 PM
Collin Quinn: somebody just shoot me


Right idea. Wrong direction for the gun.

SPOOFE
02-09-2004, 08:11 PM
Lewis Black. His entire routine consists of being pissed off at stupid shit.
To be fair, that Starbucks thing was entirely justified.

Baldwin
02-09-2004, 08:20 PM
Does Tom Green's stuff count? I guess in a way, technically, he's a comedian.

Shodan
02-09-2004, 08:22 PM
Shodan: You're thinking of Kevin Meany. And I concur. There are comedians I find a lot less funny, but none more annoying.Thanks a ton - now it will be another ten years before I can forget again. :)

Howie Mandell did a special as well, which wavered on the edge between being stoned-out funny and stoned-out embarassing. Then, about ten minutes in, it plumped down hard on embarassing. People in the audience (this was taped) were getting up and leaving. IIRC it was the "Watusi Tour". Another one I turned off as soon as I realized that, unless I was also stoned, it wasn't going to be funny to see someone else perform while stoned.

Regards,
Shodan

Master Wang-Ka
02-09-2004, 08:27 PM
1. Carrot Top. Is this guy funny? I couldn't tell. He looks kind of frightening, but I don't know if that qualifies as humorous or not. At any rate, if one is depending entirely on one's looks to get laughs, one should probably join a circus or something, not go into standup comedy.

And even clowns should, you know, tell jokes or DO something funny once in a while.

2. Tom Green. I don't understand why Tom Green is funny. I knew a guy like this in high school. No one thought he was funny, and he occasionally got his ass kicked for behaving in this manner. Why is it now considered funny?

Hey, It's That Guy!
02-09-2004, 08:57 PM
With the exception of Janeane Garofalo, who I have a crush on, I agree with everyone else. I've seen Howie Mandel's stand-up live, and he was awful. But I'd like to nominate one of the sacred cows: Bill Cosby. I didn't watch The Cosby Show growing up, so I don't have any loyalty to him, or any warm sense of nostalgia toward him. But when I saw him live last year, he seemed like a grumpy, crochety, out-of-touch, bitter old grandfather, completely oblivious to things going on in the real world, depending on a silly voice and a past reputation to get laffs. I was incredibly disappointed. Even Ray Romano, droning on about his big Italian family, wasn't so lame.

Mr. Blue Sky
02-09-2004, 09:06 PM
1. Carrot Top. Is this guy funny? I couldn't tell. He looks kind of frightening, but I don't know if that qualifies as humorous or not. At any rate, if one is depending entirely on one's looks to get laughs, one should probably join a circus or something, not go into standup comedy.

And even clowns should, you know, tell jokes or DO something funny once in a while.

2. Tom Green. I don't understand why Tom Green is funny. I knew a guy like this in high school. No one thought he was funny, and he occasionally got his ass kicked for behaving in this manner. Why is it now considered funny?

1. Carrot Top is not now, nor has he ever been, funny. The only prop comic I've ever seen who didn't suck was Joel Hodgson (yes, MST3K). Try to catch him on old eps of SNL (he appeared 4 times)

2. Tom Green was like the guy in high school you almost felt sorry for. You weren't sure if he had a learning disorder or was just an idiot.

As for "old school" comedians:

Frank Gorshin. He's currently getting rave reviews as Geoge Burns on Broadway, but if you've ever seen him on Carson or Ed Sullivan, you'll wanna take a bazooka to your TV.

Norm Crosby. Kittens on fire are funnier.

Torgo
02-09-2004, 09:45 PM
But I'd like to nominate one of the sacred cows: Bill Cosby. I didn't watch The Cosby Show growing up, so I don't have any loyalty to him, or any warm sense of nostalgia toward him. But when I saw him live last year, he seemed like a grumpy, crochety, out-of-touch, bitter old grandfather, completely oblivious to things going on in the real world, depending on a silly voice and a past reputation to get laffs.

Oof, Lou, that's like judging the Rolling Stones by their latest record. Get a hold of the Cos' earlier recordings, like Wonderfulness, Why is There Air? and To Russell, My Brother, Whom I Slept With. There's honest-to-goodness genius there.

Another nod towards the old-time radio comedians; ever endure an Abbott and Costello Show?

Abbott: STRAIGHT LINE?
Costello: PUNCH LINE!
Abbott: STRAIGHT LINE?
Costello: PUNCH LINE!
Abbott: STRAIGHT LINE?
Costello: PUNCH LINE!

Repeat for 30 minutes.

Duke
02-09-2004, 10:00 PM
Yeah, don't knock The Cos. His early records can still put you in stitches.

My nomintion is Jo Brand, a British "TV personality." She speaks in a flat monotone, as if she were doing the traffic report. She has one joke ("Men are pigs"), which she signally fails to draw laughs from. She has the comic timing of a dead rabbit, except that the dead rabbit might get it right once in a while.

How this woman managed to get several of her stand-up concerts and "comedy specials" on the BBC is unfathomable. I tried to watch one and it was painful, painful to watch. On the bright side, Harry Enfield and Chums once did a brutally funny parody of her--probably the only time Jo Brand has ever elicited a laugh.

ftg
02-09-2004, 10:05 PM
The all time, absolutely worse performance by a "Comic" in television history is Bill Dana appearing on the Mike Douglas show after his Jose Jimenez character had to be retired. Absolutely painful. Flop sweat would have been a blessing. He finally caved in a did a little Jose in order to wring out some applause so he could close his "act".

Garafolo was quite funny when she was sober. Unfortunately, a lot of the tapes being replayed on TV are when she was drinking. But still 2 levels above most people. She's still trying to rebuild things after drying up.

The Cos, was and is a genius. When your fellow comedians admire you, you're gold. They don't respect prop comics. Go watch Jerry Seinfeld's "Comedian".

blowero
02-10-2004, 02:14 AM
Adam Sandler. My God - all he does is that "Abby dooby doo" baby-talk voice. In what universe is that considered funny?

Marley23
02-10-2004, 04:49 AM
I agree with the ones I know from here other than Black, Garofalo and Cho. (Yeah, Lewis Black just yells about stupid shit. He does it entertainingly, and it's not like we never indulge in that either. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/forumdisplay.php?f=5)) And actually, annoying as Gilbert Gottfriend used to be, I've softened on him a bit because I've heard him make jokes a few times and be funny.

I couldn't agree more about a lot of them, actually. Sandler sucks. And he's dead, but Chris Farley wasn't funny either in my opinion. Colin Quinn isn't just unfunny, he's messed up. I usually see the first sentence or two of his show after The Daily Show. On the rare occasions that sentence is coherent, it's pretty stupid.

Alan Cumming is the MC... of a new show on Comedy Central. I like him as an actor, but he wasn't too funny in the first episode of Out on the Edge. He spent his first monologue talking about his uncircumcized penis. Thanks, Alan. Can't wait to see you as Nightcrawler again. This won't distract me at all. :p

JoeSki
02-10-2004, 04:52 AM
David Allen Grier: Something about this guy just bugs the hell out of me. Probably his voice, coupled with me not thinking he's funny

Christ Kattan: Ugh. I'd rather bang my head against the wall than watch one of his lame "incoherent man" sketches on the SNL reruns. At least with banging my head against a wall I'll gain a stronger tolerance towards pysical pain.

Andy Dick: I'm shocked that this guy can still be seen on tv. I have NEVER seen anyone laugh at this guy and his "wacky" antics. He's loud and obnoxious.

On the other hand, we still have Steve Wright. I saw him in concert a few weeks ago and he was great. Many people in the audience (including me and my mum) gave him a standing ovation once the show was over. Also, we had the best seats in the house without a doubt. 5 rows from the stage, right in the middle. Good times :cool: .

Pábitel
02-10-2004, 07:19 AM
This far into the thread and nobody has mentioned Sam Kinnison?

Maybe it is one of those Post Traumatic Stress Disorder things where you retain no concious memory of the trauma that caused the condition.

There were times you expected his keepers to come onstage and tranc him.

It's hard to be funny when only every third word or so is inteligable.

Oh and kunilou, if you were thinking of Gracie Allen here:Women practicing illogical logic then you are gonna have to step outside cause thems fightin' words.

Annie-Xmas
02-10-2004, 07:19 AM
Judy whats-her-face with the accordian. She's not funny and her voice is on par with Gilbert Gottfried.

Starguard
02-10-2004, 07:50 AM
I can't believe no ones listed Eddie Murphy yet, That guy is one of the most obnoxious persons I've ever seen in my life...and to think that guy is a millionaire

Marley23
02-10-2004, 08:21 AM
At least Eddie Murphy USED to be funny. :p

Scumpup
02-10-2004, 08:34 AM
"Old School" comics who were annoying:

1. Red Buttons- particularly in his appearances on the Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts. The minute he'd take the mike, I started wishing for a baseball bat.

2. Nipsey Russell- was this guy funny even once? Ever?

3. Phyllis Diller- need I say more?

4. Charles Nelson Reilly- more of a comic actor, than a comedian, but his whole schtick was to play the same "Claymore Gregg" character from "The Ghost and Mrs. Muir" sit-com in everything he ever appeared in...and that character was the comedy equivalent of rolling naked in fiberglass insulation. Wait, his appearance on "The X-Files" was the one decent performance he ever turned in.

RE: Sam Kinison. Watch what you say about Sam. He was the voice of my generation.

don't ask
02-10-2004, 08:45 AM
If the thread mentions Jerry Lewis it must also include Adam Sandler. I showed my teenage sons a Jerry Lewis video and they lost interest in Sandler ("What a ripoff" - tip for parents).

don't ask
02-10-2004, 08:48 AM
Apologies blowero, that voice is from the Jerryverse.

BMalion
02-10-2004, 09:05 AM
WEEEELLLLLL....

You don't have to call me Ray,

You can call me Ray J.

Or you can call me Ray Johnson,

or you can call me Ray J. Johnson Jr.

or you can call me Raymond Jay Johnson Jr.

or you can just hit me with a 2x4.

Someone tell me how a T.V. executive would ever green-light his appearance on any program.

Another reason to delete the 1970's.

PookahMacPhellimey
02-10-2004, 09:16 AM
For British television the answer is so obvious I don't even need to say it. But for the record: Jim Davidson.

Personal peave: yer man from Bo Selecta.

Capt. Ridley's Shooting Party
02-10-2004, 09:21 AM
Jo Brand. She makes me want to slit my eyeballs with razors.

kunilou
02-10-2004, 09:40 AM
(BTW, kunilou, care to mention by name some of those other targets? I've almost certainly heard them, but I need the names to know for sure.)


Joe Penner was certainly one I thought of, but there were so many.

Degrance, Gracie was unique. Her partnership with George not only gave her great writers that allowed her logic to take on a world of its own, but a hell of a straightman, who knew exactly when and how to start reeling her in. Jane Ace played essentially the same function, but was a step down from Gracie. I was thinking more of someone like Marie Wilson.

Actually, for bad examples, you could probably take the entire supporting cast of the Fred Allen show and everyone out of the Jack Benny show (except for Eddie Anderson/Rochester) and get them away from the writers they enjoyed on those two programs.

SanibelMan
02-10-2004, 09:50 AM
Spealing of Jerry Lewis, someone needs to go dig up that thread where someone admitted they'd spent their whole life thinking Jerry Lewis and Jerry Lee Lewis were the same person. It's hilarious.

"Goodness gracious, GREAT balls of HEY LADY!"

elf6c
02-10-2004, 09:55 AM
Carrot top. Horrible prop comic and shill for crappy long distance service. Make the rest seem like Jerry Seinfeld.

:mad:

peasea
02-10-2004, 10:17 AM
Only one of these guys has been mentioned, so maybe not too many agree, but:
Jim Carrey
Ben Stiller
Adam Sandler
I like Jim Carrey when he's not trying to be funny, and I liked Stiller and Sandler when they were getting their start, but they all annoy the piss outta me now. If they're ever in a movie together, I'm gonna shoot someone.

PookahMacPhellimey
02-10-2004, 10:27 AM
Only one of these guys has been mentioned, so maybe not too many agree, but:
Jim Carrey
Ben Stiller
Adam Sandler
I like Jim Carrey when he's not trying to be funny, and I liked Stiller and Sandler when they were getting their start, but they all annoy the piss outta me now. If they're ever in a movie together, I'm gonna shoot someone.


Jim Carrey. Yes, absolutely! How could I forget! I can NOT watch any film with him in it (doing comedy that it. He's just about bearable when he's not.

Balle_M
02-10-2004, 10:27 AM
[QUOTE=Scumpup
RE: Sam Kinison. Watch what you say about Sam. He was the voice of my generation.[/QUOTE]

Please tell me your generation has a mute button...

stolichnaya
02-10-2004, 10:49 AM
First thing I thought- Robin Williams. I am getting to really like him as an actor but when he starts schticking it up I want to gag.

Loach
02-10-2004, 11:26 AM
Don't confuse the OP with the topic "Comics who have lost it". Bill Cosby was one of the best stand ups ever. I saw him in concert about a year before the cosby show came on. Watch that concert movie he made and if you don't think he was funny I don't know what to say. Seems to me he just doesn't try any more. His finely craft monologe has become the ramblings of an old man. He's retired but people keep paying him.
Robin Williams coke fueled early days were great to watch. I watched his first HBO special in awe. Now when he tries to do stand-up I want to hold him down and pour ritilin down his throat.

stolichnaya
02-10-2004, 11:55 AM
I didn't say that Robin Williams was never funny. He was funny early on, but he was also annoying. Too desperate, and he compensated for what was 80% so-so material with that crazed, pushy delivery.

Chefguy
02-10-2004, 03:44 PM
Bill Cosby was bust-a-gut funny for more years than most comedians have been alive. I will concede that he is not what he used to be, but hell, neither am I.

I never laughed harder at a routine than I did when I heard Eddy Murphy's "Raw" album. His movie career has been regrettable since "BHC".

Some more for your scorn:

Tim Meadows: The "ladies man" routine makes me want to mail him an envelope full of white powder.

Joe Piscopo: "Are you from Jersey? I'm from Jersey, nyuk, nyuk." Go fuck yourself, Joe.

Tracey Morgan: A prime example of pre-emptive capitulation.

David Spade: hates his audience, is most unfunny, has had completely undeserved success.

Dana Carvey: Here's a thought, Dana--try to come up with some material that is relevant to this century...or even this decade...

Hey, It's That Guy!
02-10-2004, 04:09 PM
What about Joe Besser, who played the "adult baby" in so many old comedy routines, with his sailor suits and giant lollies? He would always get mad and say "OOOH, I'll HARM you!" in a silly voice. This has become a catch-phrase in my household, even though he wasn't that funny.

I think Ben Stiller's biggest problem is overexposure, but he is a genuinely funny guy, and The Ben Stiller Show (which also featured Janeane Garofalo, Andy Dick, and Bob Odenkirk from Mr. Show) was an excellent sketch comedy show.

I can accept that Bill Cosby used to be great and just kind of "lost it" with age, and on the strength of his Doper supporters, I'll even consider seeking out some of his old stand-up material. I realize I came off as overly harsh, even though I honestly didn't like his recent performance at all.

On that note, Eddie Murphy may have "lost it" as well, but Delirious is comedy gold, along with his Saturday Night Live performances and his earlier movies like Trading Places, Beverly Hills Cop (1), and Coming To America.

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned one of the usual targets, Yakov Smirnoff. Honestly, the guy cracks me up, although it is probably more for '80s nostalgia than any other reason. I think it's great he still performs regularly in Branson, Missouri!

FordPrefect
02-10-2004, 06:40 PM
Kittens on fire are funnier.

Ironically in a thread about annoying (bad) comedy, there was this line. Beautiful, absolutely beautiful.

Skywatcher
02-10-2004, 07:44 PM
I can accept that Bill Cosby used to be great and just kind of "lost it" with age, and on the strength of his Doper supporters, I'll even consider seeking out some of his old stand-up material. I realize I came off as overly harsh, even though I honestly didn't like his recent performance at all.Check out Bill Cosby Is A Very Funny Fellow...Right! (http://www.towerrecords.com/product.aspx?pfid=1021918) if only for the Noah bits.

OpusThePenguin
02-11-2004, 12:15 AM
Bob Sagat. Saw him do standup on the Comedy Network. He was actually funnier on Full House.

Scumpup
02-11-2004, 09:08 AM
Dom Delouise. His appearances on Carson, Merv Griffin, and similar shows used to be excruciatingly bad. The whole point of his humor seemed to simply be that he was fat.

Knowed Out
02-11-2004, 10:37 AM
I used to hate Gilbert Godfried with a passion, till I heard him on Howard Stern. Gilbert is unfunny when he's trying to be generally annoying. When he's being specifically annoying to somebody, that's when he can get painfully funny.

One woman called in intending to discredit Godfried. She said she once drove him to a gig and he started saying cruel things about her family and she wanted him to apologize.

Godfried explained that she was one of those people who were children of Holocaust survivors who started telling him right away from the moment he got in the car about how much her parents went through and how much they suffered. She continued in this manner till he finally got tired of it and started making tasteless jokes about it. He asked her if she ever had panic attacks while taking a shower.

Every time the woman got angry, Godfried would crack another tasteless joke and get her more agitated. He asked her if she ever imagined her pizza screaming when she put it in the oven.

This went on for a good twenty minutes. It was just hilarious how far down Godfried was willing to take himself.

Eats_Crayons
02-11-2004, 10:41 AM
Bob Sagat. Saw him do standup on the Comedy Network. He was actually funnier on Full House.AAAARGH! Bob Saget makes my teeth hurt. If I didn't want to kill him so much, I'd feel embarassed on his behalf because he's mortifyingly unfunny.

Has no one yet mentioned Richard Lewis (http://www.delafont.com/comedians/Richard-Lewis.htm)?

You may remember him as Prince John (with the moving mole) in Robinhood: Men in Tights." His entire act is the Neurotic New Yorker, but it's as dull as dirt! So his Uptight-Over-Caffeinated-Woody-Allen patter irritates the crap outta me.

Marley23
02-11-2004, 11:09 AM
This went on for a good twenty minutes. It was just hilarious how far down Godfried was willing to take himself.
Shows what kind of guy I am, but I think that's very funny.

I was about to say Richard Lewis. I don't think he was ever any good, but I saw him on Conan a few months back- he'd just gotten out of rehab and seemed to have given up sanity along with booze.

Holy crap! Nobody's nominated Howard Stern himself! He's incredibly self-indulgent, and he's been doing the same dumb, unfunny crap for decades now. Sorta like a younger Don Imus, a guy Stern apparently hates even though I think he got a lot of his ideas from him. Howard Stern SUCKS. His stuff was apparently shocking years ago. Now it's not, which makes it appear as boring as it really is. Someday, physicists will discover that dark matter doesn't make up 80% of the universe. 40% is Howard Stern's ego, and the other 40% is his overinflated reputation. I can't believe anyone still listens to this man, but I bet if they pulled the plug, he'd keep talking.

Scumpup
02-11-2004, 12:24 PM
I forget the guy's name, but I believe he was an Australian comic. He appeared on The Hudson Brothers, The Starland Vocal Band Show, and The Kelly Montieth Show. Those were all summer replacement shows on CBS back in the '70s. Anywho, this guy's schtick was that he had an emu puppet. As he would attempt to "lecture", the emu would smash eggs and fruit and such on his head. This might have been mildly amusing the first time, but he would have a segment doing exactly the same thing week after week.

Ex Machina
02-11-2004, 01:45 PM
I think that was Rod Hull and his Amazing Emu.

I find Dennis Miller and his contrived condescension annoying. I have never understood one of his obscure references. "La Lewinsky gave more head than the enemies of The Revolution." (Actually I get this one since I made it up.)

His career is based on pseudo-intellectuals who like to think they are in on the joke, and rhythm laughter (laughing simply because the comedian indicates it's time to.) I don't think people understand Robin Williams or Colin Quinn most of the time either, they just know where to laugh in the rhythm of the babble. When Williams pulls his imaginary penis at the end of an unintelligible riff, for example, that's the cue to laugh.

Sampiro
02-11-2004, 02:57 PM
Some nominees:

5. Gallagher- what a cretin.

In fairness I used to like some of his comedy (not the watermelon bit, but the routine leading up to it) until he stayed at a hotel I worked at in Alabama. He's one of the most obnoxious people I ever met and I especially wanted to slug him for making nasty cracks about the Southern accents of some of the staff and other guests.

For annoying based on "comedy", I'll go with Robin Williams. His manic schtick got old 20 years ago and the last few concerts I've seen have basically been saying "fucking" in front of every other noun and adjective and grabbing his crotch while mentioning current events.

I used to really like David Brenner (http://imdb.com/name/nm0107464/) but he lost it somewhere in the 80s. Even his surprise marriage to his girlfriend during his comeback special didn't boost his Q factor back to 80s level.

Scumpup
02-11-2004, 04:34 PM
Charlie Callas- his entire act was sticking his tongue out and otherwise mugging. Not a bad opening strategy, since he was funny looking, but not enough to build an act on. I remember some appearances on Mike Douglas and Dinah Shore where I just wanted the earth to crack open and swallow him.

Burns and Shriver- two comedians who could be 4x as annoying as just one.
"huh?"
"yeah."
"huh?"
"yeah."
"huh?"
"YEAH!"
They used to be on shows like Flip Wilson with depressing frequency.

Murcielago
02-11-2004, 05:43 PM
Sorta like a younger Don Imus, a guy Stern apparently hates even though I think he got a lot of his ideas from him.

No. That is wrong on so many levels I won't even get started.

To the OP, Ellen DeGeneris always struck me as someone who took Jake Johanssen's act and worked it to remove all semblance of humor.

Gottfried is brilliant live, but his best stuff is not suitable for broadcast.

Marley23
02-11-2004, 06:07 PM
Good for Imus if I'm wrong. :p

I've heard them both and I don't see much of a resemblance, but I've often heard him referred to as kind of a forefather of shock-jocks and Stern in particular. I"d love to know more if that's not really so.

look!ninjas
02-11-2004, 06:17 PM
I was about to say Richard Lewis. I don't think he was ever any good, but I saw him on Conan a few months back- he'd just gotten out of rehab and seemed to have given up sanity along with booze.

I saw him on Jon Stewart not so long ago. There was definitely something very strange going on. He was acting like a little kid who'd just drank Mountain Dew laced with Pixie Sticks.

I know Colin Quinn's been brought up already, but the man is shockingly unfunny. How the hell is he so famous?

Mr. Blue Sky
02-11-2004, 06:35 PM
I don't think people understand Robin Williams or Colin Quinn most of the time either, they just know where to laugh in the rhythm of the babble.



Colin Quinn: unfunny, untalented, and a waste of valuable air time. What DON'T I understand?

Sampiro
02-11-2004, 07:12 PM
Holy crap! Nobody's nominated Howard Stern himself! He's incredibly self-indulgent, and he's been doing the same dumb, unfunny crap for decades now. Sorta like a younger Don Imus, a guy Stern apparently hates even though I think he got a lot of his ideas from him. Howard Stern SUCKS.

I saw him while flipping channels last night (I really was flipping channels) and couldn't believe that he was again using "Arnold the Retard" as a panelist for some lame gameshow. As seldom as I've seen his show (and I've never seen it for more than 4 minutes at a time) I've seen a mentally retarded adult called "______ the Retard" each time- why AAMR or some other advocacy group hasn't raised 400 kinds of holy hell about his exploitation of the retarded I have no idea. It's not the least bit funny and the poor guy has to know that people are laughing at him (and not in the good way) and he's being called "____ the Retard".


I'm surprised nobody's mentioned Jimmy Fallon. There are two good things you can say about him:

1- he's a talented impressionist
2- he's very cute

His comedy, however, whether hosting award shows or making lame comedy music videos or, most annoying of all, his complete frigging inability to make it through a skit without cracking up (it worked for Conway and Korman; for him it's just unprofessional and it throws off the timing of the other performers [except for talentless ass Horatio Sanz, who's usually cracking up with him) make him one of the most annoying comics to come along in a long long time. He can be funny IF he can actually say his lines and IF somebody else has written his material, but his improv and writing skills are on par with previous "Most Annoying SNL Cast Member of the Year" winner Melanie Hutsell (http://imdb.com/name/nm0404525/)*. (BTW, the "did I just get knighted or was I queened?" comment when Ian McKellen kissed him wasn't an improv.)


*If you don't remember her (and there's no reason why you should) she played Tori Spelling, Jan Brady and "Delta Delta Delta! Can I help ya, help ya help ya?" girl. One critic called her "the lady of a thousand faces... all of them the same".

Mr. Blue Sky
02-11-2004, 07:18 PM
"Most Annoying SNL Cast Member of the Year" winner Melanie Hutsell (http://imdb.com/name/nm0404525/)*. (BTW, the "did I just get knighted or was I queened?" comment when Ian McKellen kissed him wasn't an improv.)


*If you don't remember her (and there's no reason why you should) she played Tori Spelling, Jan Brady and "Delta Delta Delta! Can I help ya, help ya help ya?" girl. One critic called her "the lady of a thousand faces... all of them the same".


[Margo Ledbetter voice]Thank you veddy much![MLv]


...for releasing that repressed memory.

HomerIU
02-11-2004, 08:34 PM
Jay Leno. The very definition of mediocre humor devoid of wit, edginess or thoughtulness. Go for the obvious joke everyone will get, nothing else. I once read how the writers of The Onion consider Leno like the devil and aim to be humorous in the exact way that he is NOT humorous. That pretty well explains it.

Jay Mohr. Anyone seen his stand up act? Not very good, which probably explains why he went into acting.

Robin WIlliams and Eddie Murphy post-1990. The sad part is that they used to be funny, but then decided to give it all up at some point to make easy, B grade comedies. It depresses me to no one to see Eddie Murphy do crap like Daddy Day Care when he used to be so funny back in the 1980s.

I agree with Bob Saget, but I never really thought anyone thought he was funny in the first place, so its kind of a weak point.

Colin Quinn. My GOD, easily the worst SNL anchor ever.

wmulax93
02-11-2004, 08:36 PM
Jeff Foxworthy.

Sorry if that gave you flashbacks to a bad time of your life.

Mr. Blue Sky
02-11-2004, 09:02 PM
Sweet Zombie Jesus! How could I overlook the incredibly heinous Jeff "Butt steak" Altman?

Hey, It's That Guy!
02-11-2004, 09:10 PM
Jay Mohr. Anyone seen his stand up act? Not very good, which probably explains why he went into acting.

I admit, I really like Jay Mohr as a comic actor, and I think he's hilarious on that sports show. Never caught his stand-up, though.

Waenara
02-11-2004, 09:23 PM
Spealing of Jerry Lewis, someone needs to go dig up that thread where someone admitted they'd spent their whole life thinking Jerry Lewis and Jerry Lee Lewis were the same person. It's hilarious.

"Goodness gracious, GREAT balls of HEY LADY!"

Ohhh. Classic SDMB thread. My Rage Burns With The Fire Of A Million Suns (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=62082) by lno:
And finally, to Jerry Lewis, and Jerry Lee Lewis.
You two both deserve to rot in the umpteeth circle of hell. Not because you directly affected my life in any way, but because for the love of God I lived twenty-four years without knowing you were two separate people. I went through life thinking that "Goodness gracious great balls of HEY LAAAAAAADY!" came from the same person. I thought that the performer whom the French strangely love was the same performer who married his underage cousin in Kentucky. You have no RIGHT to do this to me. You have no IDEA how aghast I was when this was explained to me. No, this was not explained to me in the privacy of my own home. No, this was not explained to me in the company of a few close friends, who would snicker momentarily and then forget about this. No, this was not even explained to me while giving a presentation to a board of directors. YOU TWO KEPT UP THIS CHARADE UNTIL MY GIRLFRIEND WONDERED WHAT THE HELL I WAS TALKING ABOUT. She'll never let me forget about this. She now has the nuclear weapon of relationships. She can merely whisper "Jerry Lewis!" into my ear and I'll curl into a mortified fetal position. She can win any argument, no matter how many cites I provide, or how many links to authoritative sources.

HomerIU
02-11-2004, 09:27 PM
Jay Morh was very funny in Go and Jerry Maguire. I don't watch The Most Annoying Sports Show Period. Call me old if you want, I'd much rather listen to Frank DeFord or Bob Costas (even though he can be pretentious and smug) than second rate talk show hosts interview boring sports stars and try to be funny.

And speaking of the thread, if you saw Last Comic Standing, in which almost every comic standing at the end was not very funny, especially the winner, you would have seen Jay Mohr's stand up. He was the host.

Hey, It's That Guy!
02-11-2004, 09:57 PM
Jay Morh was very funny in Go and Jerry Maguire. I don't watch The Most Annoying Sports Show Period. Call me old if you want, I'd much rather listen to Frank DeFord or Bob Costas (even though he can be pretentious and smug) than second rate talk show hosts interview boring sports stars and try to be funny.

And speaking of the thread, if you saw Last Comic Standing, in which almost every comic standing at the end was not very funny, especially the winner, you would have seen Jay Mohr's stand up. He was the host.

I'm not really a sports fan anyway, I just chuckle if I happen to catch a bit of him on the radio. But Mohr was also quite good in a serious role in Suicide Kings, and he came away from that project with the ability to do the best Christopher Walken impression in the business.

Eman Resu
02-11-2004, 10:54 PM
What about that load Jimmy Pardo? I couldn't stand that commercial on Comedy Central where he's swinging his goddamn arrogant, oblivious "gee whiz I'm funny, don't you think? well I do" face around saying, "Yuck it up, ya bastards." His "Comedy Central Presents..." felt like a thirty minute long introduction.

Carnac the Magnificent!
02-12-2004, 08:37 AM
[QUOTE=Chefguy]Buddy Hackett. This is a guy who made a career out of being butt-ugly. Never was, is, or will be funny or considered even mildly amusing by anyone other than someone with the comedic acumen of asphalt.

QUOTE]

Amen. I hated Buddy Hackett with the passion of a million blazing suns. Terrible beyond belief.

Robin Williams is about one-tenth as funny as he thinks he is--and, in serious roles, he has the deftness of Robocop. Note to Williams: going without your lithium doesn't make you funnier.

Ray Romano is a mystery to me--especially considering he is reportedly the highest paid male actor in Hollywood today. Go figure.

Jay Leno has lost much of his comedic chops, and so has Cosby. That said, comedy is generational and situational. What's funny today is agonizing tomorrow.

beajerry
02-12-2004, 10:27 AM
Sorry, I started another thread before seeing this fine one.

But, again, my nominee is overwhelmingly: Colin Quinn, the "Black Hole Of Comedy".

Spectre of Pithecanthropus
02-12-2004, 12:51 PM
I can't believe no ones listed Eddie Murphy yet, That guy is one of the most obnoxious persons I've ever seen in my life...and to think that guy is a millionaire

I like Eddie Murphy in most of his movies that I've seen, and I liked him on SNL, but never cared much for his standup routines. There was too much depressing material about family fights. Wasn't he the one who did the thing about his mom throwing her shoe at him when she was mad?

romansperson
02-12-2004, 03:37 PM
I can't believe no one's mentioned Bobcat Goldthwait yet. I'd like to lock him and Gilbert Gottfried in a soundproof phone booth together and throw away the key. Even if the jokes are funny, the voices are so annoying it just doesn't matter. Nails on a chalkboard sound better than these two.

litost
02-12-2004, 05:12 PM
What about that curly-haired red (or brown) head who starts all her lines in a sororitorious "Okay...I'm like...", and gossips most of the time?

Suddenly, her face is on all the sitcoms.

Hey, It's That Guy!
02-12-2004, 06:00 PM
What about that curly-haired red (or brown) head who starts all her lines in a sororitorious "Okay...I'm like...", and gossips most of the time?

Suddenly, her face is on all the sitcoms.

Kathy Griffin. Highly annoying.

Evil Death
02-12-2004, 06:30 PM
I'm surprised nobody has mentioned Graham Norton yet. That the likes of Freddie Mercury and Michael Jeter have been taken from us while this unfunny, camp, irritating twat remains is one in the eye for the fundies, as it disproves any possible claim that God is involved in HIV distribution.

I'll also second Jo Brand - who is even less funny than described, as her act is not so much "all men are pigs" as "men don't like me because I'm fat, ugly and acerbic, so I'm going to say I hate them to hide how much this upsets me" - and Tom Green, America's black hole of comedy.

litost
02-12-2004, 06:31 PM
Yes. Kathy Griffin's the one. Most annoying and I have no idea why she is suddenly so popular!

I also don't find the gay comedian on Jay Leno who is sent out on field trips funny at all. His shtick consists of Oh-My-God and giggling. Now, Elvira Kurt, that's a gay comedian I find funny... she might be obscure but I saw her do stand-up about her childhood, sliding down hot burning asphalt slides etc... funny as hell.

(Is Eddie Izzard gay or is he only an executive transvestite?)

Evil Death
02-12-2004, 06:39 PM
(Is Eddie Izzard gay or is he only an executive transvestite?)

Gay, reputedly. You're right, though - he isn't funny either.

litost
02-12-2004, 06:43 PM
Gay, reputedly. You're right, though - he isn't funny either.

IMHO, He is smart and funny.

jehovah68
02-12-2004, 07:08 PM
Paula Poundstone
Jay Leno (tho' he was brilliant once)
the actor who played Skippy on Family Ties
Pauley Shore
Dat Phan

chigger
02-12-2004, 07:23 PM
Here's another that somehow got skipped:

Steven Wright - not only the most over-rated of the 80's (or was it 90's?) but surely one of the most annoying. However, not nearly as annoying as the people who doubled over in laughter at his lame-assed dead pan schtick about completely unfunny subjects.

Hyperelastic
02-12-2004, 07:31 PM
Tracy Morgan should be encased in a block of opaque glass and placed at the bottom of an abandoned salt mine.

jehovah68
02-12-2004, 08:57 PM
Here's another that somehow got skipped:

Steven Wright - not only the most over-rated of the 80's (or was it 90's?) but surely one of the most annoying. However, not nearly as annoying as the people who doubled over in laughter at his lame-assed dead pan schtick about completely unfunny subjects.

Different strokes for different folks. Count me in as one of the people that are annoying to you chigger.
;)

Sampiro
02-13-2004, 10:35 PM
(Is Eddie Izzard gay or is he only an executive transvestite?)

He claims he's straight in Dress to Kill (http://imdb.com/title/tt0184424/), which I thought was one of the funniest videos I've ever seen. He's definitely been linked romantically to women. (OTOH, Alan Cumming (http://imdb.com/name/nm0001086/) is most definitely gay [and out] and was married for 8 years.)

Unfortunately, after watching Izzard in Dress to Kill I watched him in the concert video Circle, which was one of the worst comedy concerts I've ever seen. He was very obviously either drunk or stoned (or some combination) and not even Jim Carrey* (or PeeWee Herman) couldn deliver a more masturbatory performance- mugging, repeating himself, clearly having no respect for the audience and seeming to believe that anything nonsensical was funny. Terrible.

*I'm specifically referring to his incredibly unfunny and extended biker schtick on the MTV movie awards one year- perhaps it was an homage to Andy Kaufman, but whatever it was nobody else saw the humor in it.

don Jaime
02-13-2004, 10:54 PM
Jerry Seinfeld is not funny.

It bears repeating: Jerry Seinfeld is not funny.

He never was. He has always been awful. He will die awful. His stand-up act is an endurance. His sitcom, unwatchable. His personality, overbearing. Ten thousand years from now, when our civilization is dust, parents will ask young children if they've done a seinfeld in their britches. He's that bad.

"Hey, what's the deal with X? X sure is strange. I don't understand X it's so strange. What is the deal?" (Stick teeth way out of head, like some strange dental supervillain.) This is not observational humor. This is observation. You could get the same effect reading a science journal, only the laughs would be faster.

He's somehow got people convinced. TV Guide gives him blowjobs they used to reserve for Lucille Ball's corpse. Thousands of equally bad comics imitate him. He gets plaudits for no good reason. Screw him anyway. He ain't funny.

Patr100
02-14-2004, 11:23 AM
Gay, reputedly. You're right, though - he isn't funny either.

Izzard isn't gay. But he cetainly isn't funny to me either. He's heterosexual, like the vast majority of transvestites.
Oh and I knew someone who lived near him where he could be seen with his er. Girlfriend ..of course someone will say that means nothing but I have seen no evidence that he is in the closet. Or a comic genius.

http://www.contactmusic.com/new/xmlfeed.nsf/0/FD75195B0B2E19D580256E00004B2567?opendocument

Agree about Robin Williams. Seen him on talk shows. Stream of consciousness with "funny-irritating "voices is not comedy or wit.

Diceman
02-14-2004, 02:48 PM
I'll add another vote for Jim Carrey. It's not that he's not funny; he is. But he's also obnoxious and painfully irritating, and this tends to overpower the comedy value of his performances. The only movie of his that I've enjoyed is that one Batman movie where he played the Riddler. He was perfect for that role. I can't watch him in any other movie, however. Any movie where he is the main character (The Mask, Cable Guy, Bruce Almighty) is just too painful to watch. The mere thought of it turns my stomache.

Ruiniform
02-16-2004, 01:12 AM
David Allen Grier: Something about this guy just bugs the hell out of me. Probably his voice, coupled with me not thinking he's funny

Ah! I'm not the only one! I don't even know what I've seen him in or how I am aware of his existence, but I have a deep comic aversion to him. I think maybe I saw him hosting some godawful Whose Line rip-off on Fox once.

II Gyan II
02-16-2004, 01:54 AM
"Hey, what's the deal with X? X sure is strange. I don't understand X it's so strange. What is the deal?" (Stick teeth way out of head, like some strange dental supervillain.) This is not observational humor. This is observation. You could get the same effect reading a science journal, only the laughs would be faster.

Hear, hear.

...and Tom Green, Colin Quinn, Dennis Miller, Craig Kilborn, David Letterman.