Classic topics Hall of Fame

[sunbear]

I didn't know any other forum to stick this in, so here it is. Name some classic topics, if you can still find them.With IE5 as browser, the "search" function either does not work or gives garbage.

Start:Kiwi shoe polish http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum3/HTML/002299.html

I'd also list my "most stupid thing you ever did", but I can't find it.

[sunbear]

Stupid things:http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/000208.html

when I searched it, the answer listed this topic as the "unresolved bitterness" topic.

[sunbear]

Now the stupid url code didn't work!

Stupid things topic: http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/000208.html

[Rich Hall]

Back to the main topic, some Biblical comedy, thanks to...somebody just brought this up: http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/000066.html

[TubaDiva]

I didn't know any other forum to stick this in, so here it is. Name some classic topics, if you can still find them.With IE5 as browser, the "search" function either does not work or gives garbage.

While the IE5 browser MAY be a contributing factor (but I doubt it), please note that the malfunctioning search engine is a known problem and has been for quite some time.

We're trying to fix this as quickly as we can, but it's a combination of factors, some of which we don't have 100% control over.

Fixes are on the way. When exactly? I'm not sure. UBB is working on bug fixes and they have a package of fixes they put out over the weekend, but we'll be a little slow putting those on; let someone else go first is probably the best shot. If they don't blow up, THEN we'll move forward.

The calendar's not helping us either, what with the Jewish holidays; people are not here to work on things.

Sorry for your troubles, please bear with us. (No pun intended. :))

your humble TubaDiva/SDStaffDiv
for the Straight Dope

[sunbear]

Other candidates:see in this list: http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/001210.html

[Polycarp]

Sunbear: I never knew that kiwis wore shoes! I suppose it figures, with them being flightless and all....

;)

[sunbear]

I think you make the shoe polish out of the Kiwis.

Another famously huge Topic:
The Great God Debate threads and number of posts in each:
Part 1, 149: http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/000006.html
Part 2, 107: http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/000031.html
Part 3, 96: http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/000042.html
Part 4, 90: http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/000048.html
Part 5, 79: http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/000063.html
Part 6, 19: http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/000101.html

[sunbear]

Hey!Nobody's helping out. I'll just have to add my first posted topic, then: http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum3/HTML/000417.html

The Wicca Thing

[sunbear]

http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/001364.html

A story YARN
You say you don't do MPSIMS, well try this.

[sunbear]

Stuff about Electricity and/or God: http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/000348.html

This thread is VERY charasteristic of this board as a whole. Recommended, but not at 2 AM.

[sunbear]

Not really a classic, but an honorable mention for a McDonalds dicussion: http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/000223.html

[sunbear]

I'm doing a Homer (see MPSIMS)here. but, continuing: http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum2/HTML/000224.html
This thread contains, I believe, the most recent Cecil post.

[sunbear]

They say this is funny: http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/001895.html

[krish]

What about this one?

Simpson's Springfield (http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum3/HTML/000285.html)

[Sealemon88]

Wow, sunbear. You mentioned two of my threads as classics? My goal was to make a thread that was decnet. I'm blushing now. Thanks. :D

Let's see...some of my candidates are somewhat...vulger. But here they are, anyway:

1. A Straight Dope Regular shares a fateful decision (http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/001966.html) with the Teeming Millions.

2. Holy batshit, Fatman!</A>

3. The Dopers collectively ask "How do ya spell [url="http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/000954.html"]modesty ( http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/002018.html) again?"

4. Satan's Ass: The Revenge</A>

5. The Doper's share their feelings of [url="http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000255.html"]resentment. (http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000335.html)

6. [url=http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000265.html]The SDMB People's Court</A>

I really hope all this code works.

------------------
You say "cheesy" like that's a BAD thing.

[Sealemon88]

Hmmm.......let's try that again.

A Straight Dope Regular shares a fateful decision (http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/001966.html) with the Teeming Millions.

------------------
You say "cheesy" like that's a BAD thing.

[Sealemon88]

Groovy. Here's the rest of my questionable choices:

1. Holy Batshit, Fatman! (http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/002018.html)

2. Straight Dopers collectively ask: "How do ya spell modesty (http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/000954.html) again?"

3. Satan's Ass: The Revenge (www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000335.html)

4. The tender (http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000255.html) side of the SDMB.

5. The Trial. (www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000265.html)

------------------
You say "cheesy" like that's a BAD thing.

[Sealemon88]

Screw it.
www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/000954.html (http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/000954.html)
www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000335.html (http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000335.html)
www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000255.html (http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000255.html)
www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000265.html (http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000265.html)


------------------
You say "cheesy" like that's a BAD thing.

[sunbear]

I've linkled this with a current MPSIMS topic

[Byzantine]

Sealemon88 – Thanks but no thanks! I've taken so much crap over that that I wish I could have it erased!


------------------
Best!
Byz

[sunbear]

Embarrassing moments.Example below http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/002452.html

Diane: Just today I had an embarrassing moment (although it was more comical than embarrassing). I decided that I better take a pee break before I head to my kick-boxing class. As I am sitting on the toilet, I spread my legs and spit my gum into the toilet - or so I think.

A short time later I am stripping in the locker room and about rip the hair from my crotch. I look down and there is a string of gum stretched out from my crotch to my panties that are at my ankles.

The guys in the class never did figure out what us women were laughing about during the entire workout.

[Coldfire]

Two words: Guy Stuff !!
http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/002331.html


------------------
Coldfire
________________________________
"You know how complex women are"
- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

[sunbear]

Otherwise known as Farting around for 400 posts.

[Sealemon88]

Sunbear: I look at it as Y.A.R.N. with extra gas and a side of tequila. ;)

------------------
You say "cheesy" like that's a BAD thing.

[sunbear]

Imagine scrolling 500 posts, in theold days! There is an advantage to these pages, 1-11, finally.

[UncleBeer]

I just saw a topic over in GQ and it reminded me of this thread on Mayo vs. Salad Dressing.
http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/000560.html

Truly a classic!

------------------
Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

[sunbear]

The flat earth thread: http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/000488.html
thanks to The LION

Now, I'm bookmarking this current topic.

[sunbear]

The 12 days of douching:
On the first day of.. (http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/003268.html)

[Lost]

I nominate this thread - I laughed so hard I hurt!
http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000448.html

[sunbear]

The master list thread (http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum2/HTML/000394.html)

[sunbear]

left behind etc. (http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/000628.html)

[sunbear]

Naked Pillow Fight (http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/003819.html)
it had a lot of guests besides the main attraction fight

[sunbear]

A little self promotion: http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/003163.html
Make up your Onion story. You can still add.

[sunbear]

eden and slug:
here (http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum3/HTML/005411.html)

[Billdo]

My favorite thread, the one that really drew me in to this board was "How to kill evil Nazi groundhogs." http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum3/HTML/004725.html

[sunbear]

http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/005772.html
Wally and Cybersex

[sunbear]

http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/004155.html
onion stories II
Save that thread and all the ones above, before theu go extinct!Post on all of them.

[sunbear]

Oh, there was a part one to it: http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/003163-3.html Onion stories I

[tshirts]

Sunbear-

My favorite was the one where it's pathetic to keep a topic alive by adding to it now and then. Do you know the link?

(Sorry, I couldn't resist. Besides, if you hadn't raised the one about girls being goofy to write $2 checks, (but you say you like checks?)no one would have had the chance to disagree with you again. :) )

[WallyM7]

Hey, thanks for the mention, sunbear. Much obliged. :)

[Ed Zotti]

As you can see, I'm mining this thread for links to put in our new Threadspotting feature on the main screen, which changes every Tuesday and Thursday. If you come across a thread that you think is worthy of this incredible honor, post a link here.

[UncleBeer]

Well hell, Ed. I drop the humble act for a moment and promote myself.
Word Game or Amutterance (http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/003783.html)

[Mullinator]

Well, if UncleBeer can promote himself, I can also.

What I consider my finest hour on this board...thanks to Coldfire (http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006884.html)

Not that I feel a burning need for validation or anything.

------------------
Coming soon to a sig line near you!
Relive the mundane highs, the flaming lows, and the pointless posts in between. Announcing the debut of the best of Mullinator.

Because it's not just a sig, it's an adventure.

[Jois]

Please, please, please, change the name of this thread to: "Put your coffee cup down on your desk before reading." Truly wicked funny. Thanks Sunbear for collecting.

------------------
Are you driving with your eyes open or are you using The Force? - A. Foley

[Kat]

Well, as long as shameless self-promotion is being encourages, here's what I like to think of as The One Where Kat Posts Essentially The Same Message Over And Over And Still Gets Positive Comments, aka HEY! Who should I know here??? (http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006642.html).

It's also got a spontaneous unsolicited reference to Irishman, which is always good.

[Ed Zotti]

Well, as most of you have noticed, our recent MB software upgrade has scrambled all the existing links, including those in the above thread, upon which we were shamelessly relying to provide grist for our Threadspotting feature. In the spirit of getting as much possible work out of the Teeming Millions for free, therefore, we are humbly and respectfully requesting persons interested in having themselves immortalized on the main screen, or at least puffed for a coupla days, to see what you can do in the way of updating the aforesaid links. Or submitting new ones, which shouldn't be tough, because in my opinion we are currently at a high tide of classic thread production.

[Billdo]

Golly, Ed. I tried to help you out by startin a new Threadspotting Nominations (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=23235) thread for use with the new software, but nobody took me up on it and it is sinking like a stone. And now you bump up sunbear's thread rather than mine. Sheesh. You must like sunbear better than me. And you welcomed aha to the board, not me. Maybe you don't like me. I'm gonna go sulk.

Before I go off to sulking, I'll reiterate my nomination of the Enterprise vs. Star Destroyer (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=23098) thread, for the reasons that I stated in the thread you so cruelly ignored.

By the way, thanks for all of your hard work (and that of the heroic jdavis) in getting the new software up and running.

O.K. I'm gonna commence sulking now. :(

[Ed Zotti]

Hey, Billdo :::fake punch to shoulder::: how the hell are ya? Welcome to the board, etc. Now suck it up and quit sniveling, I didn't even KNOW you had posted a separate thread, although it's just as well it sank like a stone because I have enough trouble keeping track of one thread let alone multiples. As for the new MB software, I am pleased to accept your congratulations but feel obliged to note that my contribution was to go out of town on vacation during the change, which is why thing went as smoothly as they did.

[Billdo]

[/sulking]

No problemo. Sometimes the biggest contribution someone can make to a project is to get out of town when the real work needs to be done. I'm pleased to learn you fall into that category. :)

[Persephone]

If posts that make you cry are eligible, I'd like to nominate this one. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=23572)

It's Coldfire's, and boy, is it ever a winner.

[Billdo]

Well Christi beat me to nominating the May 5, 1945 - We shall remember (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=23572) thread (And beatle nominated it on my Threadspotting Nominations thread as well), so I'll just have to nominate another.

Where do YOU stick it at night (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=16165) starts out as one of our usual bodily parts threads, with the usual goofy miscommunications, until Ukulele Ike shows up and brings it from the ridiculous to the sublime.

[Billdo]

I'd also like to nominate my favorite thread of the moment, which asks Did whispering on submarines really make a difference? (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=23287)

Bill

[Green Bean]

This might be a little too new...but I think after it ages a bit, it would make a good fun thread for Threadspotting:

Play Dr. With Tater

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=24430

Hi-larious!

[aenea]

I can't believe this hasn't been nominated yet.

Isn't his how we all came to know and love Satan's ass?

[Fanny May]

Definitely Xfiles. Our classic (only) MonoPoster, someone who only posted once.

(Unlike me, who has to post twice to memember the frickerin' link!)

Please help me help him out, so he doesn't have to post again and ruin a classic thread.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/member.php?action=activate&username=S-Pricks&password=esprix

Xfiles, you're as cute as all git out, but don't git out just yet!

[Fanny May]

Definitely Xfiles. Our classic (only) MonoPoster, someone who only posted once.

(Unlike me, who has to post twice to memember the frickerin' link!)

Please help me help him out, so he doesn't have to post again and ruin a classic thread.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=24460

Xfiles, you're as cute as all git out, but don't git out just yet!

[Sangria]

I think this was a great idea.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=2566

[aenea]

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=15773

That's for Satan's famous thread.

This one is "You learn something new every day"

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=17028

[aenea]

Satan, are you influencing my ability to post this link?

I'll try once more.......http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=15773

[Esprix]

Well, since I got credit for submitting http://www.snopes.com, I might as well see if I can get "Ask the Gay Guy!" submitted. :)

The links to both parts I and II are in my .sig line. Use 'em in good health, Ed.

Esprix

[Jeannie]

I cannot believe that no one has mentioned this masterpiece, started by Shayna!

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=23199


It's the SD SMOKE-OUT topic. More acurately, it is Part One of said topic. Give Part Two a couple of weeks, and it'll be ready as well.

[WebMasterUSA]

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=25115

[matt_mcl]

Kimstu posted "I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Libertarian" here. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=26365)

[ChiefScott]

Ed --
I nominate my Do birds drown in hurricanes because of their upturned nostrils? (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=25199)

I haven't seen too many threadspotting topics from GQ and I think this is a good un.

[psycat90]

Well I am gonna nominate Nurlman's Thread (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=26280). I thought it's 'Anatomy of' style was hysterical and genius.

[psycat90]

This is truly a classic, and one of the threads that hooked me on the SDMB.

The Finder's search for FORMERAGENT (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=6737)

[UncleBeer]

Good God, psycat. How did I ever forget the FormerAgent/Finder fiasco. Thanks for bringing this up again. It's priceless.

Note to Ed: I'd be happy to clean up the code in there if you want to put this in the Threadspotting feature.

[voguevixen]

I've been assured it's not guache to nominate your own thread for Threadspotting, so forgive me if I've been misinformed.

"Without any pants on..."
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=16336

[ChiefScott]

Amy tortures her Dad:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=26972&pagenumber=1#newpost

[Shayna]

Is it illegal to carve your name in the moon with a big ass laser? (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=21104) by Breckinshire has just got to go in Threadspotting!

[Shayna]

Steak Wasting (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=22359). A true Scylla classic.

[Sunshine]

I nominate this one! A rip-rollicking wet time was had by all.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=26657&pagenumber=1

[RM Mentock]

I think this one shows some promise:

Are you having a problem getting a hat on? (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=27873)

[Saltire]

A definite candidate for Threadspotting is going on in IMHO:
Dueling Quotes (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28125&pagenumber=1)