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05-28-1999, 09:37 PM
There are all kinds of niches to be filled in the transactions of the world and I just got to thinking about all the weird gigs you can wind up pursuing to get your daily bread. Anyway, I'd like to hear about'em.

My own contribution for oddest job I can think of at the moment was the one a dear friend of mine had at the University of Houston. Originally he just worked as a key manager (1000's of keys on a large university campus), but he got transferred to maintenance where his job was to test the elevators on campus. He had to go to every building on campus and ride each elevator up and down, stopping on each floor on the way. The whole circuit took him one working week and then he did it again. He overcame his marijuana habit only after leaving that job. I think it affected his social skills as well (in his case, in a positive manner); think about getting on the elevator on 1 w/the attractive young MBA candidate who's going to 20 and it's your job to push the button for every floor inbetween AND stay on the elevator. You'd have to either go reclusive or come up w/some GOOD bs.

05-28-1999, 11:24 PM
I forgot where I heard this, but this guy's job was pretty weird. He was in the poultry business and his position was a chicken plucker. He would take the dead chickens and pluck all the feathers off of them before they got chopped up.

Another reason why I don't eat chicken skin. :P

05-28-1999, 11:31 PM
Go to your library and browse through the Dictionary of Occupational Titles. Lots of great ones.

My favorite was "Mother Repairer," though it may be obsolete by now.

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www.sff.net/people/rothman (http://www.sff.net/people/rothman)

05-29-1999, 12:01 AM
1. Human stink sensors. You know, the guys who get to smell your arm pits (and God knows what else) when you're in a test group to determine if the new antiperspirant is effective or not.

2. The people in Japan who's job it is to go through all the porno magazines and scrape off all the pubic hair with a razor blade. For some reason, pubic hair is taboo over there.

05-29-1999, 12:08 AM
The weirdest job I've had was as a country music DJ. (Only weird when you consider that I'm a classically trained French horn player.) Oh yeah, I had to go by the air name of "Bo Weevil". Is that weird enough?

05-29-1999, 10:37 AM
I know a guy who's a professional drag queen...
He's also a cop and a fire/EMT.

How weird is that?

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Love,
Pippy

And now, for something completely different.

05-29-1999, 05:49 PM
I dunno if this counts, but the neatest job I ever heard of was this guy who worked for a chain hotel that has lots of resort locations. He was a spy for corporate. His job was to register at the resort as a guest for a week, and to try out every facility -- pool, tennis courts, restaurants, room service, everything... and then write a report on the quality of the services.

Of course, all his expenditures were paid by the company.

Sheeeesh. What a tough life.

05-29-1999, 05:54 PM
What's he do for vacation?

05-30-1999, 07:00 AM
I currently work as a morturary pick-up guy. What more can I say.

05-30-1999, 09:49 PM
My cousin married a man whose job was to vaccuum out Porta-Potties. He always said it was a s****y job, but somebody had to do it.

05-30-1999, 10:09 PM
I saw a show about a guy whose job is taste-testing ice cream... A dream job for me! I cannot remember which company it was, but it was a familiar name, not only that, his tongue is insured for one million dollars - I swear!

05-30-1999, 10:11 PM
I know a guy who's a professional drag queen...
He's also a cop and a fire/EMT.
How weird is that?

Extremely, when you consider the possibilities. Especially getting pulled over by a guy who you saw sing in a nightclub in a sequined dress.

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"If A=B, B=C, and C=D, do not get a job proofreading" --Quid's Theorem

05-30-1999, 10:21 PM
RealityChuck

I saw your reply a couple of nights ago, but the library is not handy this weekend and curiosity is getting the best of me. A brief description of "Mother Repairer" perhaps?

05-30-1999, 11:53 PM
This might not sound like a very weird job to some of you. Try it first! Then you can tell me how normal it is.

I'm completely straight, and not even _slightly_ "curious". Yet, I worked as a bouncer in one of the biggest, most famous gay bars in the U.S. (The Bourbon Pub in New Orleans). I needed a job, and they needed a bouncer. I was the only "breeder" in the place. Believe me: life is strange, when everyone automatically assumes you are gay.

The suprising part was that it was absolutely the most fun job I've ever had. Great bunch of folks. I worked there for about 8 months (through a Mardi Gras) berfore I got a higher paying job on an offshore oil rig.

One night I came close to being the victim of a "gay bashing". I was half-carrying one of our bartenders home (he lived 2 blocks away) because he was too drunk to make it through his shift. The only thing that saved me was the walkie-talkie clipped to my belt (all the bouncers have them). Maybe they thought I was part of some kind of "Neighborhood Watch". It freaked them out, and they took off.

I would probably have wound up on Jerry Springer: The "straight victims of gay-bashing" episode :-)

That was the wierdest job I've ever had.

-Monte

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"Oxen are slow, but the earth is patient." -- some Chinese guy

05-31-1999, 04:56 PM
A friend of mine worked at an amusement park once. There was a guy whose ONLY job function was to close the doors on one of the rollercoasters before it took off. That was the one and only thing he was supposed to do- make sure the doors were closed.

Guess why he got fired?

06-01-1999, 09:43 AM
The weirdest job I ever had was delivering bread. The delivery part was not that odd, but one time, as part of a sales promotion, I was required to dress up as a slice of bread. The frickin' costume was made out of fiberglass, and was hot as hell (yes, I was very toasty). The only way to keep cool was to head over to the frozen food section and perch my crust on the edge of the freezer. I don't know how well the promotion worked, since the sight of a walking, grinning, man-sized, slice of bread sent small children screaming to their parents.

To this day, whenever I see some poor fool in a food-related costume (hi, Mr. Peanut!), my heart goes out to them....

06-01-1999, 11:38 AM
I once met a guy who made $50K+ a year scuba diving in golf course lakes and ponds retrieving balls.

"Easy job", I thought, until he reminded me of all the lawn chemicals that are drained into those bodies of water. His hair did have a tinge of green in it!

06-01-1999, 04:58 PM
Okay, not really a wierd job but when I was in high school, I had a job at the local health club making those so-called health drinks. You know the ones, lots of milk, strawberries, oh, and throw in some wheat germ to make it healthy. All these overweight women coming in to the club for their weekly workout and put all the calories back on that they just burned off. The drinks were kind of an oxymoron: health-drink.

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Carpe Diem!

06-01-1999, 10:15 PM
I was at the mall today and finally noticed a break in the usual throng of 5-10 teenage girls hovering around a kiosk. It is always mobbed and I could never see what the product was. Today I found out. Rice jewelry. The salesperson (all of 18 or 19) writes on a peice of rice your name and sticks it in to this little ..uhh..jar ..amulet?...thingamabob that has colored water in it and you add your own colorful beads to wear it as a necklace, bracelet, anklet or a key ring. STarts at $10 and goes up in price.

I joked with the girl who worked the kiosk and said, " Hey there's something to write on your resume, that you can write on rice." I received a real dirty look.

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Bigamy is having one wife to many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde

06-02-1999, 12:45 AM
I did have a kinda unusual job when I was about 13. I drove one of those zamboni-like things around a golf driving range, picking up balls, Just like the guy in the Saturn commercial.
I'd really mess with the golfers, egging them with taunts and "provacative gestures".A few would get really pissed-off (you know who you are), but it was good for business.
To this day, I don't really understand the depth of the anger of some of those guys.But mostly it was a blast, for me and the customers.
Any grumpy golphers out there? Why did you want to kill me?
Peace,
mangeorge

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Work like you don't need the money.....
Love like you've never been hurt.....
Dance like nobody's watching! Source???

06-02-1999, 05:37 PM
I was a "worm wrangler" one summer. I worked for this guy who thought he would make a million raising earthworms, so he hired me to build plywood beds, fill them with cow shit and feed the worms the most gawd-awful garbage for three weeks, until the beds were full of zillions of the little red wrigglers, then I'd split one bed into three, and start over. I never figured out how exactly he was going to make money off of them (I think it's like Amway; nobody really buys the stuff, you just con others into buying worms from you to get started). By the time I left, he had 18 beds of the critters and the summer temperature was getting up over 100 degrees, so I suspect that someplace, somewhere there is a heap of parboiled worm carcasses for sale if anybody needs them...

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TT

"Equal Opportunity means everybody has the same chance at being incompetent."
--Dr. Lawrence J. Peter

06-02-1999, 05:53 PM
I once sucked bugs for a living. Honest.

I worked as a lab manager for an entomologist at a Midwestern university... very cool woman (like most scientists, she was very nice and very funky). Anyway, my job was to maintain a colony of leafhoppers (very small, green aphid-like bugs). We fed them on fava-bean plants (no chianti, though)and transferred the little buggers from cages of decimated plants to fresh ones by sucking them up with a pipette (covered by cheese-cloth to prevent them passing through) and rubber lab tubing. I'd get in this hopper-hood that had an opaque plexiglass back with a flourescent light, shake the leafhoppers off the dead plants, they'd fly to the plexiglass and I'd suck 'em up and dump into cages with fresh plants.

I miss those little critters.

06-02-1999, 07:33 PM
I read somewhere that there is a person whose job is to be the "secretary" to Sherlock Holmes and answer the fairly substantial correspondence that he receives every year.

I think there are also people employed by the US postal service answer letters from children addressed to Santa Claus.

06-02-1999, 07:49 PM
"I think there are also people employed by the US postal service answer letters from children addressed to Santa Claus."
---cher3
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I knew an old guy who did this. They're volunteers, not paid. He had a lot of fun with it.
Peace,
mangeorge

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Work like you don't need the money.....
Love like you've never been hurt.....
Dance like nobody's watching! Source???

06-02-1999, 08:02 PM
Anyone know what a "fluffer" is? Pretty weird if you ask me...
For those of you that don't know... well, let's just say it takes many hours to produce a smut film and someone has to make sure the guys are always in, uh, "peak condition". The person responsible for that, guy or girl depending on the genre, is the fluffer.

06-02-1999, 08:30 PM
This discussion should be moved to MPSIMS.

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"[He] beat his fist down upon the table and hurt his hand and became so
further enraged... that he beat his fist down upon the table even harder and
hurt his hand some more." -- Joseph Heller's Catch-22

06-22-1999, 02:30 PM
From what I've heard there are people who are paid to walk around the six flags parking lots with big stuffed animals so you actually think that you can win them. Anyone here work at an amusment park know anything more about this???

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Formerly known as Nec3f on the AOL SDMB

06-22-1999, 02:53 PM
With the North Pole being in Canada Santa is a Canadian resident and you can write to him here. (The Canadian postal workers answer as many as they can (and don't show up quite so often with guns either))
Santa Claus
North Pole, Canada
H0H 0H0
Nice postal (ZIP) code eh?

Merry Christmas!

06-22-1999, 05:13 PM
An ex-girlfriend's sister's boyfriend (Yeah, yeah, I know) had a job as a sheep-gelder. Tool of choice: rubber bands (apparently you cut off the blood with tight rubber bands and leave them there. At some point the testicles fall off. Supposedly it's fairly painless for the sheep, if you believe that sort of thing). It's not a foaf story, though, I met the guy. And believe me, he had found his niche.

06-22-1999, 07:05 PM
At my previous company, where we handled disability claims, we asked employers to send us a list of their job titles. One job title (at PepsiCo) stayed with me:
"Cheeto Extruder".


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Jacques Kilchoer
Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains.

06-22-1999, 07:23 PM
In the Canadian Govt., all job postings are in English and French. There have been a lot of "deployments" recently, and this has been translated into French as "mutation".

06-22-1999, 08:13 PM
APB9999: I met an Australian guy in Europe who had spent a winter in Israel at one of their rural communes (Kibbutz?), where his job was to help turkeys mate. He said it kept his hands pretty warm.

06-22-1999, 08:19 PM
My first job was to follow Gentle Ben around and scoop up his poop.

Also, I heard about this guy who just researches and answers weird questions people send to him. I think he even has assistants.

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There is no course of life so weak and sottish as that which is managed by order, method, and discipline. -Montaigne

06-22-1999, 08:26 PM
And he's not even the only one in Chicago. This know-it-all at Britannica has to research a lot of "generally known" facts for which there are no facts. Like Caligula did not make his horse a minister of state.

06-22-1999, 10:14 PM
From what I've heard there are people who are paid to walk around the six flags parking lots with big stuffed animals so you actually think that you can win them. Anyone here work at an amusment park know anything more about this?
I doubt it; you can actually win those, though it's not common. My sister seems to have the knack for it, though. In my parents house there are a 3'-tall plush Rottweiler and its 4' raccoon relative. Oh, and a 3' raisin. (Remember the California Raisins commercials, with anthropomorphic raisins dancing to "Heard It Through The Grapevine"? One of those. And three feet is just the body, there's legs on that too.)

06-23-1999, 04:03 AM
The people in Japan who's job it is to go through all the porno magazines and scrape off all the pubic hair with a razor blade. For some reason, pubic hair is taboo over there.

They stopped for a short while (a pubic detente) and then started back up again. I believe it was a Picasso nude, one or two of a collection on tour, that was once prohibited from passing through Japan customs.

The imagery of taking sharp objects to that region of the body in photos is disturbing. Good job for a budding serial killer.

06-23-1999, 09:12 PM
How about the job of 'hooker'?

A hooker (in the legal sense) is a construction worker who works with a crane operator hooking the equipment and supplies onto the big steel hook on the crane.