The Doper Name Limerick Game

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

The rules are simple: Write a limerick using another Doper's name. You can use the previous poster's or anyone else's that strikes your fancy. You can abbreviate it if you must for the rhyme (as, for instance, ETF or EdTeddyFred instead of EddyTeddyFreddy) but it has to be recognizable.

Example:

Ah, Spectre of Pithecanthropus!
His friends never call him misanthropous,
For he's jolly and kind,
And has ever in mind
Any chance where he might be philanthropous.

[RotorHead]

Another new feline for Ed?
(She's somewhat disturbed in the head)
She's got kittens galore
I think, nearly four score
And beloved is each quadruped.

[harmless]

"Here’s an interesting thread",
Harmless to herself had said.
But I’m going to a show,
Tonight, Aerosmith, third row
So I’ll do this tomorrow instead.
:D

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

So harmless is female, like Ed
TeddyFred? I always do dread
Getting genders confused.
But I'm never bemused
By the Doper we call Rotorhead.

[Ghanima]

EddyTeddyFreddy is swell,
Her limericks are famed, to hear tell.
She started the thread
But Ghanima said,
Nobody can limerick as well.

The rest of us try to compete
To write a limerick as sweet
We type and retype
All kinds of ripe tripe
Rotorhead makes this limerick complete.

:D

[susan]

Just thought I'd mention that Shoshana rhymes with iguana, not banana.

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

"In case you were wondering, I wanna
Instruct you on saying Shoshana.
Just think of the lizard
And sound like a wizard:
Shoshana, your friendly iguana!"

[Mister Rik]

A thread elsewhere encouraged me to run over and take the Political Compass test to see which way I lean, and I was surprised by the results. Therefore...

A Doper named [b]Phase42[/i]
Was Right-wing, and GOP. True!
He now feels bereft
Cuz the test says he's Left
And a bit Libertarian. Whew!

[Mister Rik]

See, now even my coding's mixed up!

[OneYogini]

"Your limericks make me laugh" said Yogini
as ETF quickly sipped her martini
"But I'm ready to eat,
so let's go up the street,
for falafel with lots of tahini!

;)

A Doper who oft posts in the Pit,
one day had enough of Yogini's shit
so he called her a bad name
for which now he feels shame
or at least OneYogini can hope it!

:D

[jsgoddess]

The doper named E. Teddy Freddy
used a couple of names that, already,
leave me saying, "Gee,
this is too hard for me.
Can I write you a sonnet, instead-y?"

[Oy!]

The opener, EddyTedFreddy
With a lim'rick is always quite ready.
But dear JsGoddess
I fear is too modest,
For she got ETFreddy already!

[Oy!]

The opener, EddyTedFreddy
With a lim'rick is always quite ready.
But dear JsGoddess
I fear is too modest,
For she got ETFreddy already!

Make that:
But dear JsGoddess
I fear is too modest


Sorry 'bout that, Your Worshipfulness!

[jsgoddess]

Sorry 'bout that, Your Worshipfulness!

I will forgive A v h Hines
for unbolding me in his* lines,
but not for a name
that I can't proclaim
'cause I don't know how it combines!





*Or her! Ack! Now I'm the one groveling!

[Blonde]

jsgoddess, ever so modest,
Closed her window shades each night.
To the despair of the men
Who longed to look in,
She remained out of sight.

;)

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

Oh, the Pit is a perilous place
Where gobear and World Eater face
The struggle to win
Their fights without Lynn
Telling them that they're now in disgrace.

Our Cynic, Diogenes the,
Does battle that thought may be free.
He wanders the Pit;
And would cry "Useless Git!"
If that name weren't in use previously.

How Futile a Gesture 'twould seem
For Reeder to give up his dream
Of Pitting the Prez
For all that he says.
Nay, let his left consciousness stream!

Would Squink or would Truth Seeker lie?
Will Tuckerfan come back with pie?
Give county a break!
An askeptic mistake
Needn't cause our friend Lib to let fly.

Jeff Olsen, meet StarvingButStrong!
SanguineSpider, take skutir along
And with Binarydrone
Say hello to dropzone
Can the Left Hand of Dorkness be wrong?

Ferret Herder, I didn't forget
You, or spooje, or vanilla, you bet!
Polycarp's going strong
As is dear El Kabong
And Aldebaran? Best Pitting yet!

[Happy Lendervedder]

"Are you happy with the name that you got?"
She asked like a self-centered snot,
"With a name like yours-- I'd cry,"
She said. Said I,
"I'm happy with Happy, you sot."

[Blonde]

Heh.

EddyTeddyFreddy - loved by One and All.
When's she Pitted, Hell will see a Snowball.

Her posts show so much wit and insight
And she's got all those cool critters,
Should we appear on her doorstep, invite ourselves in?
Would that give her the jitters?


:D

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

Ah, Blonde! Was a Doper so fair
Ever seen before? None can compare!
Predict her demise?
A word to the wise:
Mangle her, but don't dare touch the hair!

[NoClueBoy]

vanilla was sitting askance

At her seige did happen to glance

She asked her dear freind,

"Are you thinking of men?"

"Or is that a wabbit I see in your pants?"


So very sorry. Very, very sorry, my pure and angel-like women posters...



Angua was taking a sight

In her scope on one cloudy, dark night

Tir phoned from a pub

While noshing some grub

And asked for a fag and a light.


hmmm......

[Really Not All That Bright]

I dare you guys to work me into one! :D

[Farmwoman]

One Really Not All That Bright
Once goaded me into a fight
His challenge was terse
"Go write me a verse!"
I resisted with all of my might


alas.

[OM Waterfall]

That lovely young Woman From Farm
Was born with a superfluous arm
Which was purple
Just like my nurple
But caused me no great alarm*

*Resemblance to Farmwoman is purely coincidental. I haven't been spying, honest!

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

RTFirefly heeded the call
Omnipresent had issued to all
To become one with Zen
And his mantra? Why, then
Why not chant with him: OM* Waterfall?

*Now, don't you go telling me it's "O-M" and spoil my scansion, you hear?

[Annie-Xmas]

Czarcasm was quite the mod.
Thought he was Czar, not just a god.
And moving the thread
He though in his head
"These Dopers are certainly odd."

I'm always willing put my hat in.
To defend ex-mod manhattan.
In one thread when he was heard
To say "I'm the fucking hall monitor"
He quickly was dubbed "banhattan."

[OneYogini]

I recall seeing a dutchboy one night
whose numbers have now gone from my sight
but he chose to rename
now I fear his posts will become lame
with his choice of Reallly Not All That Bright

[OneYogini]

I love that movie, about a Gardner named Chance
who could on nothing give you his stance
for although he was quite slow
there was much he did know
and could teach us with merely a glance

[Eureka]

There once was a poster Anthracite
Who when posting was always all right
Now she's Una Persson
Never answers her phone
And changed her black hair into white.

[Sternvogel]

misstee has agreed to arrange
The Great Dope Post Card Exchange (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=246997)
So we can send and receive views
Of Newport News (http://www.historichamptonroads.com/newport_news_02.htm), Syracuse (http://www.americanpostcardart.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=102&Product_Code=NY8311&Category_Code=Syracuse).
Or the Georgia town of LaGrange (http://www.americanpostcardart.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=102&Product_Code=GA3801&Category_Code=LaGrange)

[Ghanima]

There is a doper named Indygrrl
Her posts sometimes leave me in a whirl
So thought Ghanima
Indygrrl's anima
Must be treasured, a well-polished pearl.

[Aholibah]

I've heard tell of a poster, BlackDragon,
Who went to fetch beer with a wagon
Why not a tankard or flask
Or a barrel or cask?
Well, he has a really big flagon.

Ooh, ooh, ooh . . . do me!! :eek:

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

There once was a Doper Aholibah
Who invented a thing called a Rollerbar.
It was better than wheels;
Ran so smoothly, no squeals;
Now just look at those moms push their stroller far!

[Aholibah]

EdTedFreddy's obliging, you bet it!
Ask her for a verse and you get it.
No rhyme is to hard
For this limerick bard
Want to stump her? You'd best just forget it.

[bittersweet]

Under the incorrect notion
that life could be free as the ocean
bittersweet swallowed tears
as she realized her fears
Her spirit, though bruised, is not broken.

[NoClueBoy]

I needed to talk to Coldfire
So I typed out and sent him a wire
I asked, "Can I post a link
Without being a fink?"
He said, "Sure. It'll cost you a fiver."


yeah, so? I know it doesn't rhyme.


-

[OneYogini]

Though his limerick skills left much to desire
me thinks NoClueBoy adds fuel to this fire
though his efforts are up in smoke
through the cloud of which he does toke
this may be what I most admire

[OneYogini]

There's an articulate, intelligent poster name Bricker
about whom I've learned something (it's really quite a kicker)
he's into that t.v. show Tru Calling
so off the pedestal of my creation he's falling
because now when I see him I just want to snicker

AWWWW (((((BRICKER))))) ;) :D

[Clothahump]

Consider the great Clothahump
With logic, he's known to trump.
For all of his posts -
Even those about ghosts -
Wind up marked with a "BUMP!"


Having surprised myself with that one, I decided to go for the gold:


Clothahump set up an easel
And started drawing a picture of Cecil
All those who passed by
Would roll up their eyes
And say, "Damn! That looks like a weasel!"


Now that I have roundly insulted The Master, I'd like to simply say how much I have enjoyed being a poster here on the SDMB, because I'm sure my posting privileges will soon be rev*^&%^^^LOST CARRIER

[NoClueBoy]

My first two rhymed. And my metre is perfect. :p



Viva ran out from her class
After telling her students they pass
She was late for a meeting
With Dominique Keating
Who was letting her write on his ass

[OneYogini]

So two out of three you could rhyme
and your metre was perfect each time
but I was praising you Boy
with no underlying ploy
now tell me, is that such a crime?

;)

[Nametag]

A limerick's not quite as pat
as rhyming three this and two that --
Anapests are the key,
three-three-two-two-three--
['Tag doffs his pedantical hat]

Yeah, I know that's not how you pronounce "anapest" -- work with me here, people :D

The doper who's called OneYogini
is much like a yogi, but teeny
so much that if he
were divided he'd be
referred to as "TwoYoginini"! :p

[OneYogini]

Sorry for not following the "rules" of limericking. lol. I really didn't know (if we learned it in school, I've long forgotten!). Anyway...(disregarding the "rules" again)

One named Yogini is female
I thought I'd just learn-ya this detail
I point it out not to be rude
so don't give me no 'tude
dear 'Tag just flame me in e-mail!

;) :D

[NoClueBoy]

I think I will need lots of licquor
To respond in a manner that's quicker
Lest OneYogini
Should be besting me
With lim'ricks that make us all snicker



:confused:

[koeeoaddi]

ETF, Annie-X, NCB
twickster, Biggirl, Eve, lieu and Esprix
might find this a suck up
except for the f*ck up
in coding to bold the last three.

[jsgoddess]

I'm impressed by your rhyme vogel, Stern.
But now I am dying to learn
are there more vogels: Happy?
Sad? Mad? Perhaps Snappy?
Please answer me when you return.

[Nametag]

Said 'Tag, with apologies brimming,
"'Yogini, your humor's quite swimming,
to not take offense."
Oy! Such an immense
bollix-up shows my brain cells are dimming!

And now fifty-four lim'ricks gone,
So how many more will go on?
Of the thousands who post
does Cecil's board boast
just a handful who do more than yawn?

[look!ninjas]

In Florida one chilly night
He thought he'd set his farts alight
With his pants at his knee
Said his friends "We can't see,"
'Cause it's Really Not All That Bright

Of course, after I'd gotten this one written, I realized that Really Not All That Bright was actually looking to see if his farts would steam in cold air, not lighting them on fire. But this scans and that doesn't, so you'll just have to live with it.

[Jack Batty]

A poster by the name of Jack Batty,
Attempted limerics, tho they came out quite ratty,
He took too much time.
To think of a rhyme,
Aw, fuck it, let's go smoke a fatty.

[Heart On My Sleeve]

This is a really neat thread
started by EdTeddyFred.
Dopers make art
'cause they're brainy and smart
and I bet they're all great in bed.

:D

[OneYogini]

look!ninjas what an excellent job
but soon my laughter turned into a sob
for what you said about Really must be true
he has an affinity for play with the flame that is blue
as I hear tell he eats too much broccoli raab


mwaahhhaaahaaa...flagrant disregard for the limerick rules indeed! lol! that was tough! (I wasn't about to try rhyming "look!ninjas"; I'll leave that to those better at this!!)

okay so the BF is out of town and I'm bored...

OneYogini was posting in excess
today and tonite she took no recess
other posters were mad
and said, "This poor girl is sad"
so Yogini left with the pie, and swore to post less.

:rolleyes: :D

[OneYogini]

Aw, fuck it, let's go smoke a fatty.

YOU are my new idol - GREAT line!! lol!!

(...back to posting less...) :D

[OneYogini]

uh, wait...this just in...

and I bet they're all great in bed.

lol! :D

[Nvme77]

To [Blonde, a limerick for you
man or woman I havent a clue
with no time to spare
cant search hide nor hair
previous posts for a gender cue


Man, that was weak.

[NoClueBoy]

LookNinjas! had sex on the brain
She wanted to score in a train
She was given the news:
"It's been done by Tom Cruise."
Then the look on her face was of pain.

[NoClueBoy]

Sorry, Ninja, I meant that for Heart. I mixed up y'all's posts.

[NoClueBoy]

I saw 77 was posting
About which gender our fair Blonde is hosting
I performed some bar tests
Exposing her breasts
Then the whole bar stood up and was toasting

[Blonde]

NoClueBoy and ETF,
Sitting in a tree.
Comparing their post counts,
By the light of the moon, we see.
First place went to NoClueBoy
Congrats we should send,
However - ladies go first
And they always win in the end. ;)



Nvme77: Girl here! Nice limerick! :D

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

look!ninjas was driving Jack Batty:
"Have you NoClueBoy? Hate to sound catty,
But your Heart On My Sleeve's
Like a Nametag that's eas-
ily torn off. Ah, bittersweet that be!"

When Annie-X comes to my dump
Of a house, and the door gives its "THUMP!"
All the cats cry "Eureka!
It's the cat-eating seeker!"
And they make in the bed-Clothahump.

[vivalostwages]

My first two rhymed. And my metre is perfect. :p



Viva ran out from her class
After telling her students they pass
She was late for a meeting
With Dominique Keating
Who was letting her write on his ass


Who the heck is Dominique? ;)

Otherwise, I give you a big fat "A." (No, it does NOT stand for "Ass.") :D

[Blonde]

I saw 77 was posting
About which gender our fair Blonde is hosting
I performed some bar tests
Exposing her breasts
Then the whole bar stood up and was toasting


A blonde, a red head and a brunette were competing in the English Channel Breast Stroke Competition.

The redhead won and the brunette came in second. However, there was no sign of the final contestant. Hours and hours went by causing grave concern and worry. Just as everyone was losing hope, the blonde finally arrived.

The crowd was extremely happy and relieved to see her. They embraced the young girl as she came ashore. After all of the excitement died down, she leaned over to the judge and whispered, "I hate to be a bad loser, but I think those other girls used their arms."

:D

[Really Not All That Bright]

One Really Not All That Bright
Once goaded me into a fight
His challenge was terse
"Go write me a verse!"
I resisted with all of my might
I recall seeing a dutchboy one night
whose numbers have now gone from my sight
but he chose to rename
now I fear his posts will become lame
with his choice of Reallly Not All That Bright
In Florida one chilly night
He thought he'd set his farts alight
With his pants at his knee
Said his friends "We can't see,"
'Cause it's Really Not All That Bright
look!ninjas what an excellent job
but soon my laughter turned into a sob
for what you said about Really must be true
he has an affinity for play with the flame that is blue
as I hear tell he eats too much broccoli raab
I am so very, very humbled.

I'm buying you guys a pizza!

[Farmwoman]

I'll speak for Yogini and ninjas :
"Thanks for the pizza you bring us!"
With anchovies, please
The other half cheese
Don't mind that we eat with our fingas.

[OneYogini]

Aww...pizza, Really, what a guy
come share with us, don't be shy
but Really old pal
don't forget dessert for this gal
when come back, bring humble pie

:D

[Annie-Xmas]

One favorite Doper is Esprix
For threads on sexuality.
He never fails to reply
Just "Ask the Gay Guy."
Is anything too sick? Nosiree!

[donkeyoatey]

donkeyoatey can kick up his heels!
As a new Charter Member he feels
That he's got the Straight Dope
On a string! Let us hope
He'll post wisely, or else the mind reels......

Brought to you as a test post by his proxy subscriber. ;)

[Sternvogel]

Now Sternvogel joins the parade
Of Dopers who've come through and paid
For the post-writing right,
Future ignorance to smite!
(And at Dopefests, perchance to get laid?)

Another proxy pony trots over the finish line! Don't be shy, folks -- lots of Dopers are happy to help those who can't/won't use credit cards or PayPal to join.

[Sternvogel]

Now Sternvogel joins the parade
Of Dopers who've come through and paid
For the post-writing right,
Future ignorance to smite!
(And at Dopefests, perchance to get laid?)

Another proxy pony trots over the finish line! Don't be shy, folks -- lots of Dopers are happy to help those who can't/won't use credit cards or PayPal to join.

Just to clarify: Though my name doth appear
On that rhyme, it shouldn't shock you to hear
That the poetess (that doxy!) :D
Performed as my proxy
In signing me up for a year.

(Sternvogel goes to change his password back to the original before his benefactress can wreak any more havoc under his name)

[Annie-Xmas]

The Board was shortly but truely blessed
By Persephone, Wally & the rest.
All Dopers departed
I'm sure they have started
One helluva Heavenly Dopefest.

[harmless]

These have been great!

That last limerick was by Annie-Xmas
But finding words that rhyme? What a fuss!
That nick you should change
To something less strange
That would make this game easier on us!

[flamingbananas]

There once was a boy named dutchboy,
Who got in a fight one night
and with a knock in the head
that was pure dread
He became Not Really All That Bright

Now then. DO ME! *waves hand in the air*

[flamingbananas]

There once was a boy named dutchboy,
Who got in a fight one night
and with a knock in the head
that was pure dread
He became Not Really All That Bright

Now then. DO ME! *waves hand in the air*

*really not all that bright. I guess I'm not really all that bright. :o

[Annie-Xmas]

There once was a boy named dutchboy,
Who got in a fight one night
and with a knock in the head
that was pure dread
He became Not Really All That Bright

Now then. DO ME! *waves hand in the air*


I simply haven't got all day
To find words that rhyme. Oy vey!
Won't go flamingbananas
Chasing rhymeless nirvanas
I'll stick with bananas flambe.

[umop ap!sdn]

Blonde's gender is easy to see
From a name that ends in an E
The word has gender case (http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?book=Dictionary&va=blonde&x=13&y=15)
Upon which one can base
The conclusion that said poster is a she

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

What's that you say, flamingbananas?
You're harmless, at least at your Nana's?
It's Not Really All That
Bright to recall that
Occasion you wore those bandannas. ;)

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

Another one writes limericks!
Quite well done, cityboy916
Or instead, dear old bean,
cityboy916?
What's the value we all should affix?

[Esprix]

One favorite Doper is Esprix
For threads on sexuality.
He never fails to reply
Just "Ask the Gay Guy."
Is anything too sick? Nosiree!

I'm amused. ;)

Esprix

[Real_372]

To introduce myself to you,
I am Real_372
I have been searching for a while
to bring someone a smile.
Fantastic and true.
I have longed for a host
to share my post's.
REAL rhyme, with a reason
to dismantle treason.
To quote EdteddyFred
"a REALy neat thread" indeed
and Heart on my sleeve
"Brainy and smart"
my introduction is just the start
Plus REALy great in bed
I'm just quoting what you said
it's kinda stuck in my head.


Like That?

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

The limerick's the base of this thread
The line I wished posters to tread.
But others are offering
New forms of their authoring
With wit and panache. Go ahead!

I see, that, Real_372,
You're a guest who has joined us anew.
So pull up a chair!
Well come to the fair
Land of Dopedom! We hope you'll stay, too.

[Tentacle Monster]

Nothing rhymes with Monster, and the only thing that rhymes with Tentacle is pentacle.

[Real_372]

Tentaclemonster be wary
its not your monster but your tantacles that are scary
in the other regard I must proclaim the contrary
Don't be fooled if your Monster
is some sort of imposter
There is harmony in all and looks are deceiving
don't despair if you have difficulty beleiving
I send this smile over to you
yet another message from Real_372

[jsgoddess]

Nothing rhymes with Monster, and the only thing that rhymes with Tentacle is pentacle.

You're right, Mister Monster with Tentacles
that nothing quite rhymes except pentacles.
But consider this offering
that I am proffering,
lest you overlook all your appendicles.

[NoClueBoy]

There once was a Monster Tentacle
He had a 'tude that was quite cynical
The big trouble rhyming
Is that it throws off the timing
And makes any post look tyrannical




The back two syllables rhyme, you see, doesn't always have to be the whole word.

[Real_372]

Who is this Real?
With the rhyming appeal?
I'll post a little about me
for all members to see
I have a compulsion
of rythmic convulsions
I've kept them at bay
For fear of what I'd say
risk sounding a fool
to look like a tool
There are volumes more
like this in store
And some others with twists
I must, I insist.
Drop a name
to remain
Blondes have more fun
I wonder if you'll dig this one

[NoClueBoy]

Nor does it always have to be an exact rhyme...


The Doper named Tentacle Monster
Loved cheese and his fav'rite was Muenster
Then came from the kitchen
The sound of his bitchin'
See, we 'd thrown his foul cheese in the dumpster



Don't let the mistaken idea of the perfect rhyming of every syllable squash your creativity, gang!

[Blonde]

ETF pondered on a Saturday night,
How the dark side will lose the battle against the light.
Drifting oft to sleep, with the cats close by
ETF solved the mysteries of the world by and by.
All and one were close to napping,
And suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at her chamber door.
We're OUTTA HERE! We said... nevermore.

:eek:

[Real_372]

The posting of No Clue Boy enlightens me
there is a particular pattern I see
or is Real_372
thinking of haiku?
Am I posting improperly?

[kaylasdad99]

Real, my lad, don’t bother your head
About breaking the rules of this thread
Whether lim’rick or haiku
These jokers all like you
It’s Blonde’s off’rings that they all dread.

[kaylasdad99]

Sweet Blondie, the time’s come, I see,
For my most heartfelt ap-pol-lo-gee
I was wrong to have dissed;
though the scansion I missed,
I should have forebore. Pardon me.

[harmless]

Harmless is up when she should be in bed laying,
On the computer writing limericks & playing.
Stoned out of her brain,
Her constant refrain
Is, “Umm….what was it I was just saying?”

:p

I think I had better go back to bed after that one.

[Annie-Xmas]

This thread did not trip or stumble,
Did not fall apart or crumble.
It just was Threadspotted
t's crossed and i's dotted
By Jenny, TubaDiva, your humble.

[Annie-Xmas]

If the thread's about poop or poopoo
Caca, shit, or doodoo.
Piss or peepee
And speak of weewee.
Who'll post in the loo? lieu

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

Musicat said to Jenny, our Tuba
Diva, "Here's a thread I think you've a
Good reason to stick
In the Threadspotting pick."
ETF's now ecstatic: "Woo-HOO-va!"

kaylasdad99 wandered in
Annie-Xmas did lieu with a grin
Then Real_372
Said, "Hey, I've got it too!"
It's a harmless amusement, no sin.

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

LolaBaby, jurhael, and bluethree,
Twist of Fate, Mama Tiger will be
With pepperlandgirl
And Aesiron awhirl,
featherlou, iampunha, DtC!*

*Yes, I know it doesn't make much sense. It's doggerel, not Poetry.

[Sternvogel]

I'm impressed by your rhyme vogel, Stern.
But now I am dying to learn
are there more vogels: Happy?
Sad? Mad? Perhaps Snappy?
Please answer me when you return.

The stern doesn't mean I've oft glowered,
Nor is it a tribute to Howard (http://www.eonline.com/On/Howard/).
It refers not to the aft
Of a boat or a raft,
But suggests that I am Star- (http://dictionaries.travlang.com/GermanEnglish/dict.cgi?query=Star&max=50)powered.

And now, my goddess named Julie,
I implore you to answer me truly.
When confronted with crisis,
Do you look more like Isis (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-4994/)
Or like Hera (http://www.athenasweb.com/img/HeraZeus.gif) when Zeus was unruly?

[OneYogini]

Poor Sampiro with the relative "Paralee"
It's an odd name for sure, we can see
but it must be said
that his family's homestead
was probably in Southern Tennessee

So this opens the window to think
that maybe this family "went kink"
and slept with their kin
agin' and agin'
like they do in the South in an eye blink

***

That EvilHamsterOnCrack made me giggle
as I imagine his/her hamster's a-wiggle
when posting each time
and trying to rhyme
it makes their wee bellies jiggle.

***

Has ShibbOleth's name been done yet?
I think it's about time, lest we for-get.
as we plan the Floridope-fest
lots of bar-b-que we'll in-jest
non-attendance I'm sure you'll regret.

Which reminds me of FairyChatMom
who has recently been quite aplomb
as her leaving is near
let her know she is dear
and we'll miss her here at Straightdope.com

[Blonde]

kaylasdad99,
Hurry, hurry! Be the first in line,
To see ScoobyDoo2
Kids: "whoohoo!"

$40 for two hours of drivel,
A bargain! You say,
And resolve to see Scooby4
On the very next cold August day.



Hideous movie. Except one shining moment: Fred and Daphne kissed at the end! ;)

[Blonde]

Scooby THREE I meant to say,
My apologies to all this fine day.
It's 04/04/04 and the wheel keeps on turning,
OneYogini is in the house
And the limericks, they are a'burning!

[OneYogini]

Blonde, I intend by no means to act as your teacher
but as Scooby may be a near-legendary creature
I think it may behoove you
and in turn will improve too
your posts, if you learn to use the "spoiler" feature

Not that I care, you see, about the slip-up
I can concede it as merely a hiccup
in the quickness of our posts
I think I'd request of the hosts
use of the "edit" when having made a f*#$-up

I'm not perfect in posts either, you'll find
so please do keep that in mind
I mean no disrespect
for my posts oft appear wrecked
and I've too received a swift kick to the behind

[Blonde]

OneYogini - you are right,
How on earth could have I made that slight?
If you haven't seen Scooby2,
You've nothing to do,

But turn your eyes away,
'cause I'll give the whole plot away tonight.

Velma isn't a lesbian,
Scooby and Shaggy are heros at last.
Don't waste your money,
See this movie coming to cable (fast).
Daphne and Fred, together it's true.
This we always knew.

[SIZE=1]jjAs long as the wheels are turning, As long as the fires are burning,
As long as your prayers are coming true - You better believe it - !That I would do anything for love!
[/SIZE=1]

[Blonde]

Yikes! The hamsters hate me tonight...

:D

[Clothahump]

look!ninjas was driving Jack Batty:

When Annie-X comes to my dump
Of a house, and the door gives its "THUMP!"
All the cats cry "Eureka!
It's the cat-eating seeker!"
And they make in the bed-Clothahump.

Invite me the next time! :D

[Real_372]

I am poised on something said
posted a bit earlier in this thread
Harmless stoned out of her brain
Me thinkith I am right now the same
And I know there is some left over bread

[Annie-Xmas]

This thread was started by Eddy
Or was it started by Freddy?
It's a simple enough game.
Start with a Doper's name.
No, wait. It might have been Teddy.

In December when days get colder,
And snows and winds both get bolder.
People say "Hey, it's Xmas; Annie
Get up off your fanny.
I whine "But today I'm a year older.

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

A kid with a holiday birthday?
Poor Annie! While all have their mirth day
Her birthday must pass
Overwhelmed by Xmas
And of specialness, it is a dearth day. :(

[OneYogini]

Real I feel it's common indeed
for some Dopers to smoke wacky-weed
for some surely are chronics
and have issues with phonics
while posting when high...guaranteed

***

Well today I am back at work
but my duties I'll not likely shirk
we're not busy of late
so please do not hate
that I'll have time to either post here or lurk

A thank you again to EdTeddyFred
for starting this WONDERFUL thread
I hope more Dopers join in
for what fun it's been
have your lurkers tried yet? Go ahead!!

[OneYogini]

I should really learn to preview post
to catch errors, if not all, at least most
for I hate to mistakes
when all it really takes
is a second to be less engrossed

(that was a stretch - lol)

So here's my fix:

A thank you again to EdTeddyFred
for starting this WONDERFUL thread
I hope more Dopers join in
for what fun it has been
have you lurkers tried yet? Go ahead!!

[OneYogini]

"for I hate to MAKE mistakes"

GOOD LORDY!! :rolleyes:

[Annie-Xmas]

This (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=242804) thread was really a hoot
Concerning a whole lot of loot
When you scammed the scammer
You made us all clammer
For more threads by doper mangetout

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

The first on the list that I see
For the postcard exchange is misstee.
Faucet asks, "Expertise?"
ShibbOleth has hirees.
Lobsang looks at false names. Now, let's see....

bittersweet looks at childish gross foods.
Family names give Sampiro bad moods.
FairyChatMom is leaving
For Florida; I'm grieving
renigademaster's thought foods!*

featherlou has that lottery winner;
MonkeyMule is a cat chip beginner.
MaxTheVool has three vowels;
LolaBay avoids fouls;
Is our Eve hot in search of a sinner?

CandidGamera has her own comic book;
Trunk's game? Proper nouns, or get the hook.
screech-owl mourns things unsaid;
Rue DeDay hops ahead.
iampunha? Nigerian kook!

(I'd do some more, but -- sigh -- I must
Head off to work. Adieu, mot juste!)

*Yes, I know it's weak -- YOU do better! :p

[OneYogini]

Dammit ETF that was GREAT!! Here's my sad attempt following the master...


There's more fun going on in I-M-H-O
Winston Smith asks for porn names don'tcha know
while Lizard seeks good-lover clues
Jackmanni discusses queing blues
and Freiheit wants to know where in Germany to go

Padmaraga's thread is about hating cats
men vs. women, though I don't know any stats
JmPride discusses SO's forbidding
though most seem to think he just kidding
while Sturmhawke needs info about Macs

BigBadVoodooLou is to be a best man
and iwakura wants a presentation plan
Lvgeogeek talks of shirking hygiene
Interrobang, unexpected kids on the scene,
as GMRyujin seeks a Budget moving truck or van


Whew! That was rough (and slightly awful! lol!). ***bows to ETF***

[OneYogini]

OMG gum says his porn name's Timpa Kinker
I'd fall for that porn star, hook, line & sinker
with an accent to boot
the long distance could become moot
& I'd happily abide in Amsterdam, hmm...wishful thinker.

[OneYogini]

I last posted here at 3:35
now this thread is barely alive
don't let it die
ETF will ask "Why,
did my "spotted" thread not survive?"

I'll not be the death of this thread
I'll post one last limerick before bed
so come Dopers now
save this thread, some way, some how
rhyme whatever comes into your head

Ah, well, what can be done
some Dopers have had all their fun
we enjoyed the play
but tomorrow's a new day
and new topics will arise like the sun

:D

[Blonde]

OneYogini, TwoYogini,
ThreeYogini, Four.
Your thread didn't survive?
Well, we've all been there before.

Our cleverness is lost on the masses,
One would think,
And the next time I go there,
Y'all better catch my backside - QUICK!

:D

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

The scrivener examines band names;
Trash books earn yojimboguy's flames.
JohnBckWLD
Has some TV to see;
Mangetout sees the echoes of fame.

There's "Showgirls" on lissener's mind;
While Gadfly says "Beatdowns to find!"
smiling bandit asks why
Are CG costs so high?
gentle orders the ships of the line.

[NoClueBoy]

I posted a thread about rats
Spectres! but wearing bright hats
Then Cervaise made a crack
'Bout a talentless hack
Who said the same things about bats.

[Blonde]

Rats would be welcomed,
To the Pit Thread I'm in.
They would eat up the posts,
All of them, the evil ones the most!
Lie down on their furry backs,
Tell us all to relax.
Absolve me of my SDMB sins,
And bar the evil ones from coming in!

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

"A talentless hack"? That's Hunter
S. Thompson, a drug-addled grunter.
NoClueBoy, hurrah!
That you see what I saw:
Fear and Loathing is crap, to be blunter.

[NoClueBoy]

I'm posting a link (http://pub2.ezboard.com/fnoclueboysincrediblyfreneticstartrekdiscussionsfrm12.showMessage?topicID=12.topic) for my friends
To join me in making amends
It's set up for Dopers
And some interlopers.
To flaunt their geekdom to the ends.

[Blonde]

Signed up and all,
I wonder, pondering weary -
Is NoClueBoy a poster
Of the realm dark and dreary?

:eek:

[umop ap!sdn]

This fun thread by TF and E
Pronounces handles different than me
Oh my how I smiled
When I saw JohnBckWLD
Had somehow been rhymed with "see".

[Ephemera]

LolaBaby, jurhael, and bluethree,
Twist of Fate, Mama Tiger will be
With pepperlandgirl
And Aesiron awhirl,
featherlou, iampunha, DtC!*

*Yes, I know it doesn't make much sense. It's doggerel, not Poetry.

Hm. I'm a Pitizen? I never knew.

Thanks. I think. Is that a good thing?

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

Hm. I'm a Pitizen? I never knew.

Thanks. I think. Is that a good thing?

Aesiron is musing, "A Pitizen?
Is that white- or is that black-hatted citizen?"
If you post in the Pit
Kind or cruel, flame or wit,
Yes, you are, says the tri-titled witizen. :D

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

This fun thread by TF and E
Pronounces handles different than me
Oh my how I smiled
When I saw JohnBckWLD
Had somehow been rhymed with "see". Hey, I'm doing the best that I can
To deduce how the screen names will scan
And will rhyme. But obscure
Names? It's hard to be sure.
Hey, cityboy -- "six" or "sixteen"?

[harmless]

A kid with a holiday birthday?
Poor Annie! While all have their mirth day
Her birthday must pass
Overwhelmed by Xmas
And of specialness, it is a dearth day. :(

Christmas time is always so pleasant,
For family time, games, and pheasant.
Annie-Xmas is sad,
'cause it's her b-day; that's bad?
Remember: every year you're the best present! :)

A Doper named EddyTeddyFred
Has so many cats that all shed.
Her poems are the most
But every time she posts
She leaves cat hair all over the thread.

I see a poster named Yogini,
My knowledge of who is so teeny.
How do you do?
Pleased to meet you.
So do you wear Speedos or a bikini?

[umop ap!sdn]

Hey, I'm doing the best that I can
To deduce how the screen names will scan
And will rhyme. But obscure
Names? It's hard to be sure.
Hey, cityboy -- "six" or "sixteen"?

ETF, your question I had not seen
But now I know what you mean
Your rhyme I had to reread
You did try both ways indeed
'Twas right the first time: 16.

[OneYogini]

I see a poster named Yogini,
My knowledge of who is so teeny.
How do you do?
Pleased to meet you.
So do you wear Speedos or a bikini?

***

Hi harmless, how you doin?
Looks like you're needing a clue-in
I wear a bikini
while sipping a bellini
at the beach or maybe sea-doo'n

In fact I'll be there this Easter
sunning my bikini-clad keister
with friends all around
no clouds to be found
and none of us using a leister

We'll have bbq by the truckload, oh my
and for the ribs extra sauce to apply
cole slaw and baked beans
and baby spinach greens
and when come back, I'll bring apple pie!!

:D Yogini

[Sternvogel]

If you chance to meet SanguineSpider
At a Dopefest, and sit down beside her
Have no fear you'll be gored
By her spear and her sword --
Unless, of course, you deride her!

[Trunk]

There once was a doper named Trunk
Who would limerick himself, so he thunk
He got underway
With the oldest cliche
And from then on his limerick did stunk

[OneYogini]

Indeed there was a poster named Trunk
who thought his first limerick stunk
but he could try a-gain
ignorance he'd feign
or else explain that he was quite drunk

So come again soon Trunk and give it a go
for we're all amateurs here, you should know
though ETF is the best
she wouldn't protest
though it surely may not be quid pro quo.

:D

[Trunk]

Re-reading the OP's direction
I realize my small insurrection
Of posting my own
name in my poem.
I shall now name ennui and dejection*

(*2 total posts. last activity over a year ago)

[harmless]

One Yogini says she’ll bring pies,
That’ll go straight to my thighs. :rolleyes:
She wears a bikini
She must be so teeny.
Bet she gets hit on by all the guys. ;)

EddyTeddyFreddy’s been so quiet
Come on! Your limericks are a riot!
You started this game
Now pick a new name…..
(Perhaps she’s on holiday at the Hyatt?)

Well, hello to new poster Trunk!
You’re limericks stink? That’s bunk.
It brought me a smile,
So post for a while
And then we’ll all go for a cool dunk.

[BJMoose]

There was a young lass near Nantucket
who tried to mix rhymes in a bucket.
Said EddyTedFred
off the top of her head,
"If the meter don't scan, just say 'nugget'!"

[OneYogini]

Well, harmless, I couldn't boast teeny
but most don't flirt with this meanie
for I have an S-O
a right jealous beau
so I must scowl at those unwitting weanie

By the by Moose does "nugget" rhyme with "bucket"
I know the latter, for sure does with "Nantucket"
so I'll suggest another word
a place maybe you've heard
of in Thailand, a tropical isle, name of Phucket

I swear it is real, that I know
and I do wish someday to go
but not so soon
for first there's the moon
I'm off to find that billionaire 'schmo

For that is my ticket to ride into space
and I may even let him reach second base
for I'm truly a giver
but the S-O might deliver
all of my personal effects to a storage space!

:D

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

Come limerick with us, lurker Trunk!
The use of your own name ain't bunk.
It's harmless, I'd say,
So with ETF play
While Sternvogel swears: "I'm not drunk!"

Yogini is setting the pace;
NoClueBoy swings by to say grace.
SanguineSpider drops in
Over Blonde's hair to spin
A web of the finest silk lace.

[Blonde]

EddyTeddyFreddy
On this fine April night,
I hope your horses are dreaming
Of a full moon this fine night.

You're glowing like the metal
On the edge of a knife
C'mon! Hold on tight!
Meatloaf is for dinner tonight.

[DaisyFace]

So into this thread walked poor Daisy
Who was worried they'd all think her crazy.
For I can rhyme it, you see,
If I rhyme it with me,
Or maybe I'm just too damn lazy.

I know Eddy began this fine lark,
and I see it's no walk in the park.
So before I was lurking,
And now my brain's working.
I sure hope I can leave my mark.

[umop ap!sdn]

This is a limerick thread
But Blonde has decided instead
To write in verse
But I won't curse
While the dashboard light plays in my head. ;)

In this thread, DaisyFace
You can surely find a place
No-one will complain
For you are quite sane
And will leave much more than a trace.

[BJMoose]

By the by Moose does "nugget" rhyme with "bucket"
Well, the consonants are both glottal stops. . .

If I must post perfection, try this (forgive the self-reference):


There is an old Doper, Bullwinkle,
whose eyes do most merrily twinkle
except when his pros-
tate makes him quite cross
cuz he must log off and go tinkle.





I'll be right back. . .

[OneYogini]

Iambic pentameter, glottal stops
I feel like I've met the limerick cops
I just try to rhyme
which takes up some time
'til I learn, I'll keep getting busted chops

It's good we're still going
welcome Daisy, good showing
I enjoy this distraction
and Doper interaction
thankfully my boss is easy-going

:D

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

He started a limerick; then Moose
To the lieu was compelled to vamoose
For his prostate enforces
Such limited courses
Of rhyming before it must loose.

But fear not! We can put in his place
As a rhymer our dear DaisyFace.
cityboy916
Takes a bow in this scene.
OneYogini of rhymes has a brace.

[Blonde]

EddyFreddyFreddy
On this fine Easter Day,
Ate many chocolate bunnies,
Bear with me a second here, ok?

Nibbling their ears first,
She relished the sight,
Of her horses stealing the carrots,
From the Easter Bunny tonight.

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

Ah, Blonde, 'tis a treat in this thread
To see once more your fine golden head.
Meanwhile, HumptysHamhole
And Cinnamon Girl
In My Humble Opinion are read.

There they're joined by Thea Logica shopping.
And the RAWDuke old CD's is dropping.
inkleberry departs
Before Starguard's old farts
Can tell muttrox which tunes to be bopping.

romansperson for headphones inquires,
RitzyRae has Bostonian desires.
DeadlyAccurate says "Which
DVD pulls your switch?"
caffeine_overdose seeks holy fires.

[Blonde]

cityboy916:
Thank you, perchance,
For teaching me the difference
Between limericks and verse.

As we ponder, weak and weary,
Upon these posts, don't you see,
ETF's got horses,
Unlike you and me. :D


'Cause we were barely 17.....

[OneYogini]

Hope everyone's Easter was swell
the day at the beach went quite well
all got lots of sun
and had so much fun
celebrating the birthday of a friend, Michelle

The weather today will be mostly rain
I'm at work so I can not really complain
for the air is down low
and feels good on my glow-
in-the-dark red nose, that is in pain

LOL :D

[Sternvogel]

Mrs Milburn Drysdale's recently entered
The ranks of Dopers -- by Eve she's been mentored.
We've also welcomed Kansan minky.
Will their post counts stay dinky?
Or on SDMB will their lives now be centered?

[umop ap!sdn]

'Cause we were barely 17.....

;)

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

Mama Tiger has Evil Cow-orker
Gr8Kat has a pedophile lurker
pizzabrat hates "carb" foods
DtC has bad moods
Coz of Bush. Angst enough for berserker!

Will the Match.com men fail jay-c?
Will alaricthegoth ever be
Rid of his bete noir?
Will danceswithcats score
One more hit against Walmartery?

Late-night kid calls bum out ivylass
Scarlett67 gives that wanker no pass
Revtim looks down on pie
While Lord Ashtar lets fly
With a Pit of Gold Gym's lack of class.

Guinastasia and Fenris chime in
London_Calling replies. Boyo Jim
Is no Slacker in tone,
Nor is binarydrone.
Look at Left Hand of Dorkness's grin!

Oh, there's Tabby_Cat, Gadfly and Zoe,
Philster, Lobsang, and then NoClueBoy,
Lamar Mundane says "Later"
To elucidator,
gobear, pravnik, Eats_Crayons, Chefguy!

[Blonde]

EddyTeddyFreddy - are you surfing tonight?
If so, spare us - don't remind us in the morning light!
The things we post in the heat of the night,
Are a pale shadow of our intellectual might.

We instantly regret those posts, and blame it on the cat.
We'll do anything for love,
But we won't do that. ;)

[OneYogini]

A break-up with my own BF draws nigh
after six years of loving the same guy
and Eve had warned
as a woman scorned
it'd be over soon enough, don't deny

So I'm not in tears and won't be
for I'm doing the right thing, finally
happy days begun
from now on for One
at peace again with me, Yogini

YAY ME!! :D

[harmless]

OneYogini is going to be single
Her boyfriend was a bit of a dingle?
Now that she’s free
I now vote that we
All have a party and mingle!
:)

[OneYogini]

Great idea harmless, lol, gee, let me check my calendar, oh wait, that's right...I'LL BE FREE! :mad: :( :confused: :eek: :rolleyes: :D (Had to run the gamut of emoticons there for ya'!)

Okay, so use one of your alterative user name desires in a limerick (Or...just do what I do, and amuse me! Please!!).

I once saw a thread, not so lame
that asks your alternative user name
I once thought Tangent
but afraid some would think it meant
I'm tan and a man, and not a dame!

;) Yogini

[Sternvogel]

truthbot (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=250814) has three goats altogether
Two are does, and one is a wether
They're to be pasture pets,
So just cool your jets
If you're looking for meat or kid leather!

-- Sternvogel, whose screen moniker was once appropriated by a goat farmer who used it to name a male who was subsequently castrated (such an honor, huh? :confused: )

[SanguineSpider]

If you chance to meet SanguineSpider
At a Dopefest, and sit down beside her
Have no fear you'll be gored
By her spear and her sword --
Unless, of course, you deride her!


Dude... I so love you! That brought a smile to my weary cheeks (FACE not buttocks). Im too tired to even think straight and will try another day (night) to leave an offering of wit for you. How ya been, anyway? Missed ya.

[umop ap!sdn]

We instantly regret those posts, and blame it on the cat.

Poster's remorse is something we all get
But bother us we should not it let.
Against the wall I beat my head
For hijacking ETF's thread
Overcome writer's block? Not yet.

:D

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

So who's playing in my thread now?
OneYogini, of course. Holy cow!
SanguineSpider's dropped in,
cityboy916,
And Sternvogel, who's kidding, I trow!

Hey! I got an idea! Let's unite
Doper names that just scream for it. Like:
Member alaricthegoth
Really should plight his troth
To tamaraqueenofgoths -- ain't that right?

Mama Tiger and Gr8Kat should join
Tabby_Cat. ivylass would go on
Very well with grienspace.
Okaybear will embrace
Our gobear in the Dopers' dropzone.

[harmless]

I once went by the name Tigerbunny
Some of you might think it’s funny
I’d wiggle my nose
While writing my prose
Lounging in a place that was sunny.


Pookyshnoo is another I used
LovinThang’s I also perused
I found them both charm-less
So I stuck with Ol’ harmless
So no one would get confused.

[Blonde]

There once was a poster named ETF,
Who, along with harmless and cityboy916,
Had the nerve to say our names out loud,
Let's just admit it: EddyTeddyFreddy is a vixen!

She took the words right out of our mouth,
It must have been when we were on her lawn,
Stealing away all those pretty, furry critters
So as to make them our very own. :D

Hey, Sanguine!


It never felt so good, it never felt so right...and we were glowing like a metal on the edge of a knife.

[dannyv]

one zero one zero one one *
one zero one zero one one
one zero one zero
one zero one zero
one zero one zero one one!

(*) dannyv in binary..

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

A chap known as dannyv played
The Doper name limerick game. Made
A clever rhyme scheme
That no one could dream
Mere binary ever portrayed.

Meanwhile, in Mundane Pointless Stuff
GawnFishin' remarks off the cuff
On LIFE. JimSox5
Hails Dopers -- may they thrive!
Though flamingbananas feels rough.

Obituaries fascinate Eve,
Who fascinates FisherQueen. We've
Got a hearty hello
For moi's new cat! But oh,
Lobsang, what did you miss on your leave?

[Monstre]

EddyTeddyFreddy's his name.
Who started this limerick game.
'course I'm only just guessing
what parts he's possessing,
Perhaps EdTedFred is a dame...

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

Now, Monstre, what monstrosity
Of fun-poking is this? Know ye
As Lobsang could tell ya
Confirmed by our Wang-Ka,
Your EdTeddyFred is a she (http://community.webshots.com/photo/735286/128041607qXSSvk).

[OneYogini]

ETF what a gorgeous pair of Equus Caballus!
My aunt once owned horses; utterly fabulous!
So sorry if this is pedestrian
for those into the equestrian
maybe you'd know the term gasterophilus!


:D

[BrattiAtti]

A wonderful lady called sunfish
helped me fulfill Czarcasm's one wish:
to permit me to crash
the next Portland dope bash
where us drunk ones will call Czar "Your Highnesh".