Queer Eye 4-6: Mark Fa

[Otto]

Fa?
Name: Mark Fa.
Age: 40
Height: 6'
Weight: 172 lbs
Status: Married
Occupation: Carpenter
Category: Mullet Wearing Straight Guy
Location: Westwood, New Jersey
Event: Step-Daughter's 18th Birthday Party
There comes a time in every man's life when he has to face the truth, and sometimes that truth isn't pretty. For Mark, that moment came when his stepdaughter Karly announced, "I love you, but I am embarrassed by your mullet." Who could blame her? Mark's "business up front, party in the back" hair is automatically a topic of conversation in every room he enters, and has made him the target of ridicule on more than one occasion.
Like a bolt from the blue, Mark suddenly realized that a change was in order, one that would involve more than just his hair. With a little — OK, a LOT of help, Mark hopes to adapt his look and his style in ways that will enable him to be more involved in the things that matter to daughter Karly and wife Roe. The Fab Five's mission: help Mark make Karly's 18th birthday memorable by revealing a new look at a special party he'll plan just for her.
PROBLEM AREAS
...has an enormous mullet, held together by gallons of gel and spray.
...his fingernails are more like komodo dragon talons.
...his mutton chops and waxed moustache went out of style in the 19th Century.
...his wardrobe only comes in two flavors: handyman casual and stuffy, old man formal.
...his fondness for '80s metal and religious music is way out of step with Roe and Karly's tastes.
...his home is a mix of nice but overly-cluttered rooms with bare, half-finished projects.
...prepared a meal for Roe on their first date, but hasn't cooked again since.
"Mark saw a Civil War picture of an ancestor of his, and he thought that would look good." — Roe, his wife Tonight...a mullet dies.

[Doomtrain]

Yay! It sounds like they're getting back to the REAL fixer-uppers, not Joe Wannabecomedian needs 3 hairs cut. If it's half as funny as it sounds, I may just die.

[gobear]

Great episode!

Mark started out rough and in desperate need of a makeover. All of the Fab 5 made a contribution, even Jai, and Mark cleaned up beautifully/

My word, but that man is fuckable.

[LilyoftheValley]

Holy frickin' makeover! It didn't even look like the same guy!!! Fabulous.

I can't get over the fact that the food connoisseur shopped at Costco. :p

Where do I get me a Billy to do my chores?

[JRDelirious]

Really rad change in the guy's appearance. This straight boy's impresed. Good attitude about it all, too. (Though he worried everyone when he said he wants to grow it out a bit...)

He kept his clothes hanging in the basement???? Whaaa? Come on, even i use my closet. Or the doorknob. Or the exercise bike :D Then again I don't have a basement.

I liked how he had the presence of mind to bring in his buddy Billy to take over some of the detail work -- a lot of the problems the other guys have had related to trying to do 27 different things within one hour. Nice reality-check by using Costco as a source: that will hit home with a lot of people outside the "cosmopolite" urban centres.

Once again Jai is pretty much limited to gift-suggestions and a lifestyle item that doesn't look like it has jack to do with anything.

(The girl BTW seemed to make out like a bandit with the iBook and the LCD TV. Then again it probably came from selling all those Barbies... also, great to see a close family where they're actively supportive of gay issues [funny if crude t-shirt])

And I see that for next week they'll be rolling out the pilot episode. Minus Thom, Jai and Otto's Sweet, Sweet KyanTM. That oughta be interesting.

[voguevixen]

I love the guest at the party who stared at him for like 30 seconds and then shrieked "OH MY GOD!" She honestly had no idea who he was!

Karly made out like a bandit, but what about the kitchen? All those new appliances and furniture? This was NOT a cheap episode! Aaaaaamazing!

[Gaudere]

DAMN, but the straight guy turned out good looking with that haircut. I hope he doesn't try to sneak back to a minimullet.

[Kallessa]

I want him, I want him, I want him! For the record, I'm talking about the straight guy. They've had some well turned out guys before (once they were cleaned up), but this one takes the cake. My, but what a good looking man! Yum.

I love that fact that the Fab Five shop where the straight guy would shop. Costco, Bed, Bath and Beyond, and best of all, Nordstrom--middle America's answer to Neiman Marcus!


The promo for next week's show said it had never been aired, but wasn't there at least one show with someone other than Jai? A black guy named Blair, maybe? (If that's right, then something is seriously wrong with my memory--why should I remember that when I can't remember my fax number?) Was Kyan (excuse me, Otto's Sweet, Sweet Kyan) also a late arrival?


You know, What Not to Wear (both the British and the American versions) make over a guy every once in a while. I wonder what the Fab Five could do with a straight woman? I mean as far as giving her a life-changing make-over. Jeesh.

[Club 33]

Actually, I saw on the news tonight that they are planning to do a "Queer Eye for the Straight Girl" series.

[Only Mostly Dead]

The promo for next week's show said it had never been aired, but wasn't there at least one show with someone other than Jai? A black guy named Blair, maybe? (If that's right, then something is seriously wrong with my memory--why should I remember that when I can't remember my fax number?) Was Kyan (excuse me, Otto's Sweet, Sweet Kyan) also a late arrival?

I was starting to think I was the only one to remember the lost Fab Fiver. He was the Jai in, IIRC, the second episode of the series. I didn't remember his name though, even if I did remember the Pillars of Hercules as the Final Jeopardy answer last night. I think Kyan's always been there. It should be interesting to see who these other boys are that didn't make the cut, but by now, America demands the "correct" Five.

[Eve]

I wonder what the Fab Five could do with a straight woman? I mean as far as giving her a life-changing make-over. Jeesh.

Mark's wife could really use some sprucing-up, especially now that her husband is so suddenly hot . . .

[DeVena]

Dang! Who knew there was a Hottie under all that hair?


(And I want that stove - they said GE Profiles series, right? Off to search!)

[elf6c]

I love the guest at the party who stared at him for like 30 seconds and then shrieked "OH MY GOD!" She honestly had no idea who he was!

Karly made out like a bandit, but what about the kitchen? All those new appliances and furniture? This was NOT a cheap episode! Aaaaaamazing!

True but they shopped at Costco, Bed, Bath & Beyond and Nordstroms rather then some of the ultra tony boutiques of the past. Plus he went to a reasonably priced hair place. So plenty of budget was left- BTW, given the plug GE got for their Profile line I am sure they donated those items.

Overall this was a 10 out of 10 episode, just about perfect in every way. I enjoyed the hell out of it. The family, the Fab 5, the changes, the guy being smart enought to bring some help ("Hey Bill, you can get on TV if you help me make Pizza" Bill: "Hell Ya!"). This is the show I love.

:D

[elf6c]

Dang! Who knew there was a Hottie under all that hair?


(And I want that stove - they said GE Profiles series, right? Off to search!)


Yep! Don't forget the matching Fridge.

:)

[Bad News Baboon]

I dunno. I'm sensing 'the beginning of the end' for this show. I really hope I am wrong because I love the show.

What am I talking about? Product placements.
It used to be that the stuff the bought or the places they went were casually mentioned, much like you would tell a friend "oh, I went to IKEA".

I really noticed it with the episode with the Korean guy.

Kyan: Here are some CREST white strips. You really should use CREST white strips (as the case is perfectly facing the camera).
Guy: Really? I need CREST white strips? WOW. CREST ROCKS!

I exagerate, but not much.

Now I noticed it in this episode with GE.

I realize someone has to pay for the stuff, but I worry that now the show may be more about 'the stuff' than the make overs.

I also bet that Kyan will be approached to do a skincare line for men. Ted will get a contract with Oxo or AllClad. Carson will get a line of clothes. Thom already has peir one, but it's a short skip to becoming the filling the void our Martha left. Jai? Um. Maybe he'll um, endorse something. (I hear he's recording?).

Just you watch...


oh one last thing. Carson's hair didn't look so good. I like his usual wispy hairdo better.

[Lisa-go-Blind]

I was starting to think I was the only one to remember the lost Fab Fiver. He was the Jai in, IIRC, the second episode of the series. I didn't remember his name though, even if I did remember the Pillars of Hercules as the Final Jeopardy answer last night. I think Kyan's always been there. It should be interesting to see who these other boys are that didn't make the cut, but by now, America demands the "correct" Five.

Carson and Ted were the first two hired for the show. It looks as though the episode next week will have them but the other three guys will be different. I was wondering if Blair would be in next week's ep or if there was a third culture guy.

[Liberal]

I liked the tip about reheating pizza in the skillet rather than the microwave.

And I think Baboon is right that the show is waning, but I don't think it's the product placements. I think it's the straight guys and their SOs. Part of what people like about these makeover shows and their offshoots is the celebration of the reveal. We want to see change for the better. Happiness. We want to see the blooming of a flower rescued from a bad gardener. And we saw that early on. An artist whose career and life took off. A boy from the country who came to make it in the big city, and got the foundation he needed to succeed. A slacker who had taken a bullet for his mother, and was ready to stop being a burden in her life. Nowadays, all they do is clean up people's houses and buy them new clothes. Last night harkened a bit back to the old days. They need to head more in that direction.

[voguevixen]

oh one last thing. Carson's hair didn't look so good. I like his usual wispy hairdo better.

I disagree. He looked like a grown-up in this episode. (He acted a little less obnoxious as well which I appreciated.) The "wing-y" hair is too 13-year-old girl for an adult male, regardless of sexual orientation.

I had two nit-picks about this episode: One, JUST SAY NO TO OPEN CABINETS! This is fine for a quick transformation until he can upgrade the doors, but the one thing open cabinets result in is all your dinnerware eventually being covered with dust and cooking grease (if you have a greasy diet.) Two, did the grooming guy tell him the exact wrong way to file nails? It should be from the side to the center (with the growth of the nail) and I could've sworn he told him from the center down (against the growth of the nail, which is a no-no.) I could have mis-remembered that though.

BTW, what is the time frame for this show? I know they imply it all takes place in one day, but seriously, it has to be more like a week, right? (I'm thinking last week's guy said something about "It's been an amazing week!")

[chula]

BTW, what is the time frame for this show? I know they imply it all takes place in one day, but seriously, it has to be more like a week, right? (I'm thinking last week's guy said something about "It's been an amazing week!")I caught a couple of minutes of the Fab 5 on Orpah's after-show and they said it took three days.

I'm with Baboon on Carson's hair. Didn't like it at all.

[Otto]

Agree with pretty much everything everyone's said except about product placements overwhelming the show. There were always product placements, but the 5 have said and I have no reason to doubt them at this point that they won't recommend a product just for placement purposes. Note that the hair and skin products change in every episode. If they were being placed for the sake of placement one would think that the same products would appear in multiple episodes.

(Does anyone other than Crest even make a whitening strip?)

Blair IIRC was in two eps, Adam Zalta and the guy with the girlfriend who stole the Trenton hooker's boots. He was last heard from suing the producers for something like $350,000.

What was the deal with Mark's wearing two pairs of underwear? He pulled down those boxery things and had on some black bikinis underneath? What the...?

[BwanaBob]

I caught a couple of minutes of the Fab 5 on Orpah's after-show and they said it took three days.

I'm with Baboon on Carson's hair. Didn't like it at all.

I'm a new fan of the show. I thought it was one of the better ones.

What is this after-show you refer to?

[Bad News Baboon]

Otto,

I realize that they named names before. Like I said, It used to be more like a friend telling you that they went to Ikea. Now they mention the brand a LOT.

Before it was more like: you need to use these Crest whitestrips. (end of story)
Now the brand is mentioned a million times.

I know that the brand changes from show to show. It just means that they got a different sponsor for that show. Placement need not be in every show to be a 'placement'.

[Nutty Bunny]

I'm a new fan of the show. I thought it was one of the better ones.

What is this after-show you refer to?

Oprah does an "Oprah After the Show" on Oxygen. Last I knew, it was on at 7 or 7:30 pm, eastern time. She continues the discussion they were having on the show, sometimes with a little more candor. It's like a looser version of her show.

[gotpasswords]

Great episode!

Mark started out rough and in desperate need of a makeover. All of the Fab 5 made a contribution, even Jai, and Mark cleaned up beautifully/

My word, but that man is fuckable.

They RUINED him! Once they lopped off the mullet, he was starting to look like Sam Elliott (http://www.mats2go.com/images/Large/11-05-2.jpg) which is A Really Good Thing. But then, they shaved him clean and turned him into Skippy.

As for the product placements that some are bemoaning, I don't have any great problem with them. If it takes saying "And here's your new GE refrigerator" to be able to give someone nearly $3000 in appliances, or "Use these Crest Tooth Things" so what?

[AuntiePam]

The guy creeped me out. I was going to write more, but it seemed inappropriate.

Nobody else got any weird vibes coming off him?

[Lisa-go-Blind]

I thought it was sad that he was the girl's stepfather for 14 years, yet knew almost nothing about her. :(

[voguevixen]

The guy creeped me out. I was going to write more, but it seemed inappropriate.

Nobody else got any weird vibes coming off him?

I thought it was really strange that he didn't balk or flinch at anything. He was eerily TOO agreeable. The only thing he had an actual opinion about was the plaid, and because he was so open to everything else his reaction to plaid almost seemed psychotic! I got a weird vibe like maybe the whole family conspired to get him on the show so they could score a bunch of free crap; like maybe even the mullet was somewhat recent (as recent as it takes to grow that much hair) which was why he was so glad to get rid of it. (Do long-time mullet-wearing men usually marry into families that attend gay pride parades and sport "I love fags!" t-shirts? In my experience the answer would be "no" but there is a whole lot of world out there aside from my experiences.)

[elf6c]

Nah I got "the good sport with an open mind" vibe. He didn't know a ton about his step daughter, but he obviously loves her and was trying his best. The current look wasn't too surprising given his job. BTW, it was is wife that had the T-Shirt and rainbow hair. Like many of the other "good" straight guys, they had already come to the conclusion that they needed a major change, but lack the time, money and expertise to do it themselves.

No, the people that were obviously milking the show was the figure skater and his model attractive wife. One of the worst shows in the series history, they didn't deserve nor need to be on the show- and they got decked out in stuff from some of the nicest boutiques in NYC. Like I said at the time, a total farce from begining to end. There was something serious fishy about them from start to finish.

The product placement is a bit much, but the straight guys are getting a big benefit as well, so I can live with it. :)

[whistlepig]

I thought it was sad that he was the girl's stepfather for 14 years, yet knew almost nothing about her. :(

Sad but . . . , it's a guy thing.* Kids are fun and easy to communicate with when they're rugrats and younger, but around age 11-13 they go into that not talking to the parents thing and as guys, we're not real driven to communicate. Because as a guy, you don't have to "talk".

Then one day you turn around and they're leaving the house and you have no idea who this person is. Hopefully/usually, you get the relationship back in their early to mid 20's.

(We care, we just don't pay attention like we should. There are guy's I have a drink with or play golf with on a monthly basis for the last 10 years and I have no idea what they do for a living. Don't care, either. And they haven't asked me either.)

Whistlepig






* Yeah, yeah, yeah, not ALL guys. OK?

[Lobelia Overhill]

Actually, I saw on the news tonight that they are planning to do a "Queer Eye for the Straight Girl" series.

Oh? Any more details?

[Otto]

Bravo is looking for a new Fab 5. No, settle down, they aren't replace the Queer Eye boys, they're looking for a new Fab 5 for a whole new spinoff series Queer Eye For The Straight Girl.

"It's the most-asked question I get: 'When are you going to do one for women?'" says Bravo president Jeff Gaspin. "We are answering that call."

Straight Girl, is scheduled for early next year. Gaspin says the Fab 5 may be the Fab 3 depending on who they tap for their experts. He says the missing Fabbers may be guest experts, including celebrities.

From here (http://www.365gay.com/entertainment/news&gossip/barnes.htm).

[ElvisL1ves]

Great. I can see them putting every single woman they meet in a plaid flannel shirt, work boots, tattoos, and a crewcut.

[Sampiro]

Does anybody else wish they'd forget about straight women (not that there's anything wrong with that) and do a Queer Eye for the Queer Guy series? There are plenty of us moes (myself included) that would love to have a well appointed flat and dress fashionably but just really missed the loop (though to prove I am really a panty waisted fruit whip I will happily sing the opening numbers from any three Broadway smashes of your choosing for you at any or no provocation).

Re: Queer Eye/Straight Girl, if Eve hasn't volunteered already how do we volunteer her? (I don't care if she cooks like Martha Stewart, dresses like Jackie-O, has hair like Jennifer Anniston and gives parties like Texas Guinan, she needs primetime exposure.)

[JRDelirious]

They RUINED him! Once they lopped off the mullet, he was starting to look like Sam Elliott which is A Really Good Thing. But then, they shaved him clean and turned him into Skippy.

Y'know, they do seem to be strongly against stand-alone mustaches.

[Otto]

Y'know, they do seem to be strongly against stand-alone mustaches. The clone look is so 1970s!

I could've gone either way on the moustache as long as it was trimmed. They chopped it down and I thought they were going to leave it but I was OK with its going. I think they've only done away with one other stand-alone moustache, the former model/taxidermy man, and he'd had it for 20+ years. They do grow back, after all.

[Tansu]

This show was on a couple of days ago on this side of the pond (I'm glad we're catching up). Quel mullet. Oooh hoo hoo. Mullet mullet mullet. He was ready to bin the mullet but he was so not prepared to lose the tache. He didn't have too much of the disappearing upper lip syndrome that men get when they shave off a longstanding tache. He had it a bit, but not too much. Lucky.

I loved that they shopped at Costco - although, being a Brit, I was kind of overwhelmed at the SIZE of the place... I pick up all kinds of cultural references from this board and other places, but sometimes only seeing is believing.

I had two nit-picks about this episode: One, JUST SAY NO TO OPEN CABINETS! This is fine for a quick transformation until he can upgrade the doors, but the one thing open cabinets result in is all your dinnerware eventually being covered with dust and cooking grease (if you have a greasy diet.) Two, did the grooming guy tell him the exact wrong way to file nails? It should be from the side to the center (with the growth of the nail) and I could've sworn he told him from the center down (against the growth of the nail, which is a no-no.) I could have mis-remembered that though.
I spotted those, too. I predict that open cabinets will go out of style pretty soon as it becomes apparent how damn greasy and dusty things get. (mind you, I have a couple of open shelves in my kitchen, so pot, kettle etc)
Kyan DID tell him to file from the centre down to the side. I may have made a sucking-in-breath-through-teeth noise when I saw that. So wrong.

[Ludovic]

Music....MUSIC???? Now, I'm as much a hater of 80s metal as anyone, but they can pry my indie and classic rock out of my cold, unfashionable hands. I can imagine many would feel the same about their version of Good Music as I do.

I mean, clothing is just clothing, and don't we all want to look our best? But I'll be damned if someone will tell me what to listen to. Tell me they didn't give this man music "tips"?

fortunately, I'd have nothing to fear, as I also like disco and major-key techno :::running::: you know, the QE dance theme is the best part of the program