Hints for Newbies

[as_u_wish]

I've been lurking and reading for a month and finally registered. I've read the FAQ's and here and there have found hints on SD etiquette, dealing with trolls, to bump or not bump up a long string, etc--but my search for a consolidated "hints for newbies" came up empty. Sooo...anybody have any advice before i make a complete idiot out of myself? [yeah yeah i know, i'm not a complete idiot--some parts are missing : ) ]

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inconceivable? i don't think that word means what you think it does

[Tinker Grey]

One of my tricks: if someone does something I like (insertion of a picture, different font color, etc.), I find out how they did it via the reply-with-quote feature. That is, click the icon that has the red arrow on it. It is the rightmost icon on the same row as the time&date stamp. Then I can read the ubb codes that accomplished whatever was cool.

Tinker

[Thirsty4]

Read twice, reply once. And don't start any pit threads for a good three months.

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"You CAN'T be evil. 'Cos no matter how many 'bad' things you do on purpose,
you MUST be doing it because you think it's the right thing to do."

[whitetho]

A month of lurking probably is more than enough for you to have a pretty good feel for this place. If you haven't already, it also wouldn't hurt to buy a few of Cecil's books. This gives you a good overview Cecil's world, and the later ones include sample postings from the earlier message board.

OK, you want Tips & Tricks? Here's one.

The moderators keep hammering away at us about this: Trust the CGI!

They're right. Once you hit that "Submit Reply" button, DON'T TOUCH IT AGAIN! Even if the whole board crashes, it will still go through. Some people ended up with double posts yesterday because the board went down in the afternoon (at least, I'm assuming I couldn't get through because the board crashed--maybe it was Palestinian terrorists in the office, who knows?), and they assumed that their posts didn't go through. Well, I am here to tell you that they did.

I know, saying "trust the computer" doesn't sound right, but it is.

Louie: if you're within the sound of my voice, I want to tell you that you were absolutely right about me getting kicked out of the reply window because Microsoft, in their infinite wisdom, decided that the backspace key should tell the computer "Back". Evidently they didn't solicit any input from serious typists before they made that decision.

So all I have to do is rethink 30+ years of touch typing, huh? Just remember to stop in between typing the oopsie and backspacing with my right pinky, in order to reach over, grab the mouse, and click on the window to make sure the cursor knows what planet's it's on?

Retard. :mad:

(Bill Gates, not you! :) )

[ASPA]

Good thread. I didn't get here in time for the particular tips to be new for me, but others will benefit from the interactive nature of this.

[Louie]

Louie: if you're within the sound of my voice, I want to tell you that you were absolutely right about me getting kicked out of the reply window because Microsoft, in their infinite wisdom, decided that the backspace key should tell the computer "Back". Evidently they didn't solicit any input from serious typists before they made that decision.

I'm always here to help. :)

Louie

[Nanno]

What do I know, just an idiot newbie!


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whatever for?

[waterj2]

OK, here's my list of things not to do. Most people don't do these things, but some do, and they don't usually get treated well for it.

1) Post in the correct forum. Especially when it comes to complaints. MPSIMS is not the place for that.

2) Don't whine about the treatment newbies get. If you do, do it in the Pit, and expect to be flamed.

3) Don't tell the regs how to behave.

4) Don't start a new thread for everything you say. Respond to other people's threads. If you have something smart to say, more people will read it if it's in, say, a WallyM7 thread.

5) Don't take everything personally. Especially in Great Debates, people will challenge points you make, and won't be overly polite about it.

6) Appreciate that this is a MB filled with intelligent people who like challenging questions, and that any question that can be answered by looking it up on Altavista is not appreciated.

7) Don't start threads that cover well trodden ground. For example, don't post "Any evolutionists out there?", because it's been done numerous times.

8) Don't make wild assertions without some way of backing them up. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof. You can't say "Don't vote for Bush because he's a part of the NSA conspiracy to erode our privacy" and expect everyone to take it on your word alone.

9) Don't develop a "Friend" who's only purpose on the board is to chime in with support for you when you get outspoken.

10) And this above all, don't be a jerk.

But, you seem to be off on the right foot already. Good luck.

[NickyLarson]

If I read you right, waterj2 your list of things not to do begins like this:

1) Do not Post in the correct forum.

6) Do not Appreciate that this is a MB...

...Sorry, I'm just one of those standard bearers Little Nemo mentioned...

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You'd think that Superman would be a good person to invite to a barbecue but trust me, he's not. I mean, sure he can cook the hot dogs fast with his heat vision, but they all taste of charred eye boogers.

[Liberal]

They're right. Once you hit that "Submit Reply" button, DON'T TOUCH IT AGAIN! Even if the whole board crashes, it will still go through.

The only exception to this I can think of is when you get the flood control page. When this happens the script has not sent your post.

...I want to tell you that you were absolutely right about me getting kicked out of the reply window because Microsoft, in their infinite wisdom, decided that the backspace key should tell the computer "Back". Evidently they didn't solicit any input from serious typists before they made that decision.

Actually, that only happens when you've changed focus from the text box to something else (like a button). So long as you have a caret in the text box, backspace backspaces.

[casdave]

Tinker Grey

Many thanks for your tip.

[mrsphlem]

A specific question...what is trolling and how do I avoid it? Seen several people chided for it.

Illiterate in Northern Ca

[Ringo]

A specific question...what is trolling and how do I avoid it? Seen several people chided for it.

Trolls come and, mostly, go. Some though have stuck around. Our currently active troll is bedboy; look at some of his posts and see if it occurs to you why he's getting a poor reception here. Just go to the top of the page and find the search function (just below and to the right of the Reply button) and run a search (it'll go quicker if you limit it to five days) on his user name (which I think is actually bedboy4).

[waterj2]

While the occasional innocent newbie is sometimes labelled a troll, trollish behavior is easily avoided. Put simply, it is "posting with the intent of pissing other people off". The quickest way to spot a troll is someone who almost exclusively posts in their own threads. Not all people who do this are trolls, but trolls almost always do this. If you follow the divine doper mandate ("don't be a jerk"), you'll be fine, unless you are using some bizarre, heretofore unknown, definition of jerk (e.g. the third derivative of position).

[Weirddave]

Don't vote for Bush because he's a part of the NSA conspiracy to erode our privacy

This is an UL??? Who could know?

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Cecil said it. I believe it. That settles it.

[Kricket]

I am still quite a newbie myself, but I just wanted to say that everbody here has made me feel quite at home.
I still have alot to learn about how to post pictures and such, but otherwise things run nicely for me.
BTW, I love you sig line! That is one of my favorite movies.


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Mistress Kricket
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Are you stuck on stupid?

[MrKnowItAll]

Here's my two cents:

Become familiar with some other sites that can give you information that might help you come across as a gullible idiot.

Here's a few of my bookmarks:

The Computer Virus Myth Homepage (http://www.kumite.com/myths/home.htm)

The AFU & Urban Legends Archive (http://www.urbanlegends.com/)

The Urban Legends Reference Pages (http://www.snopes.com/)(better known as "Snopes")


The Skeptic's Dictionary (http://skepdic.com/)

Urban Myths, Legends, Folklore, and Fairytales (http://www.urbanmyths.com/)

The Internet Movie Database (IMDb) (http://www.imdb.com/)(Debatably the best place to go for info about movies and TV shows.)

Refdesk.com (http://www.refdesk.com/)(An incredible site with links to tons of reference sites on the web.)

Enjoy.

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God is my co-pilot. Blame Him.

[MrKnowItAll]

Um. Make that "help you to not come across as a gullible idiot."

Sheesh.

[Little Nemo]

First; Always try the search engine before posting a question. A lot of topics have been discussed here and you may find yours among them. Otherwise, at the very least, you may find your question being ignored by people who already are bored with the subject or, worse yet, you may innocently step into the middle of a subject that is already a source of argument. So search in the archives here and on the home page. And for good measure consider a Yahoo or Google search as well.

Second; Right or wrong, many people here have a high standard of how the English language is used. Try to make sure your grammar, punctuation, and spelling is correct.

Third; Don't whine. Don't grovel. Don't brag. And don't claim to be an expert unless you can prove it. There's a lot of smart people here who know a lot of different subjects, so don't think you'll go unchallenged.

Four; Trolls and sock-puppets are not welcome.

Five; Relax. Enjoy yourself. This is only a Board. Any mistakes made here will not count against you in real life.

[Andy]

Originally posted by Little Nemo:
Try to make sure your grammar, punctuation, and spelling are correct.


:D :D :D

Originally posted by beatle:
...his user name (which I think is actually bedboy4).


FYI, in the past he has also gone by Bedboy, Bedboy3, and Bedboywhoforgothispassword...doh.

You can just put in "Bedboy" and click on partial match. :)


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"Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!" - the White Queen

[Andy]

Originally posted by MrKnowItAll:
Make that "help you to not come across as a gullible idiot."


But haven't you split the infinitive?
Just kiddin' ;)

[ralphredan]

Originally posted by coosa:
ralph, I think you're getting your forums, etc. confused. For example, this forum is for discussing Cecil's columns, not for getting manhattan's attention.

manhattan moderates the General Questions forum - if you want to call his attention to something, you need to post your thread there. Or, better yet, e-mail him directly - you can do that by clicking on his name at the top of the page, where it says 'moderated by'.

Another alternative is to post this sort of thing in the About This Message Board forum.

The thread about writing checks is in yet another forum, the BBQ Pit. It might be helpful to use the search engine when you are looking for a particular topic.

Also, if you will look at the very top of a locked thread, you will often see that it says 'transferred to ...'. This means the thread was not actually closed, just moved to a more appropriate forum. The version of the thread in THAT forum was closed, but the discussion is being continued somewhere else. The thread will remain open in its new location unless there is another reason to close it.

Hope this helps!

[Smart Ass]

Do we get a welcome or what?

[TubaDiva]

What.

(Sorry, couldn't resist.)

Actually, we're happy to meeet all of our members, lurking or not. It's always nice to know another Teemster.

your humble TubaDiva

[Smart Ass]

Adminstrator?! Damn, pretty good. That's like being greeted by the Governor when you cross the state line. One thing, though. How do you break into the cliques? So far I've asked how you get to Great Debates, and whose ass I need to kiss. I've been less ignored on phone calls to tech support hotlines.

[waterj2]

Smart Ass, you just need to know where to ask. I saw your comment about whose ass you need to kiss in a thread about another poster and had absolutely no idea what the hell you were talking about. To the extent that cliques exist here, they are composed of people who have been here since this MB was transmitted by Pony Express. In general, if you want a nice, warm fuzzy greeting go over to MPSIMS and start a thread saying hi. Otherwise, I'd suggest looking for threads dealing with interests you have and post with relevant information and/or opinions. Sorry there's no real welcoming committee.

[TubaDiva]

The change from newbie to accepted Teemster comes in its own time and comes strictly by merit. Your own merit.

All you have to be is friendly, curious, have half a brain and know how to use it, and show a willingness to play our reindeer games. A sense of humor is helpful.

Some folks assimila--I mean, fall into things, become accepted members -- very quickly. Others find their own place in time.

Think of it as you would when finding any other new place to hang; at first you don't know anybody and nobody knows you, but after a while you become a part of what people are used to . . . and then when people start asking about it when you take a day off, you know you've made it.

You're in good company; there's some great people here.

your humble TubaDiva
Proud to be a Teemster.

[Lynn Bodoni]

Originally posted by Smart Ass:
Adminstrator?! Damn, pretty good. That's like being greeted by the Governor when you cross the state line. One thing, though. How do you break into the cliques? So far I've asked how you get to Great Debates, and whose ass I need to kiss. I've been less ignored on phone calls to tech support hotlines.

All you really need to do is send me large amounts of chocolate. GOOD chocolate, like Godiva. Then I'll smooth the way for you.

Lynn

Queen of the Pit

[Ed Zotti]

Yeah, and don't cross her, otherwise you might as well die right now and get it over with.

[Geobabe]

Hey, this thread is so informative, I think it needs to be back up top.

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The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between the lightning and the lightning bug.
Mark Twain

[farley]

There are a lot more abbreviations on this site:
http://netlingo.com/

[waterj2]

I figured this might be useful again after seeing the discussions going on over in the Pit.

[Jamoross]

Newbie Alert!

Um, sorry, not an alert to newbies, but rather a warning that another gormless
newbie (yours truly) has stumbled in from a.f.c-a.

After years in the text-only world I have finally broken down and accepted the
inevitability of these clicky (cliquey?) Web-based systems.

Assuming that other recent arrivals will also be attracted by the subject "Hints for
Newbies" I expect to find more of my kind here.

Please bear with me as I try to settle in.

- jam