View Full Version : Should I get in touch with my ex?
04-21-2004, 01:55 PM
Inspired by this thread, Should I apologize to my ex? (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=252046)
After reading that thread I did a google search on an old girlfriend. We broke up long ago, and it wasn't great for either of us, but there was no major assholery on either part. A couple of years after we broke up we saw each other again and had a nice night out, and for the most part seemed to be over the break-up.
Is dropping her a line out of the blue just a bad idea, or is it a really bad idea. This wouldn't be about rekindling the flame in that we live about 1600 miles apart, but rather a 'how are you doing?' sort of thing.
And, hey if we did get back together she is a wedding planner, so we'd be set on that front, right? Right?
04-21-2004, 07:21 PM
Go for it. The worst that can happen is that she'll ignore your email. Just don't expect to be close friends. I hear from on of my exes about every 6 months, and that's how I like it.
04-22-2004, 12:04 AM
Go for it. I am. Or will. Soon...
Details and advide I got (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=247279). (I feel like such an ass for linking to that thread yet again, but oh well.)
04-22-2004, 12:34 AM
I gotta say leave it alone. See I recently realized that my ex-, who I was with for 7 years and couldn't shake out of my head, wasn't good for me. I basically realized that she fed all my fears and guilt. And I found out that she really wasn't that good for me, or to me. Though outwardly it appeared as though she loved me very much, which she probably did.
Go for it if you want. But just be cognizant of the reasons it didn't work the last time. Good luck pal.
04-22-2004, 07:32 AM
My first b/f tracked me down through Classmates and got in touch - it was a lovely surprise and we're hoping to get together this summer when he and his wife and youngest son are on their cross-country trek. We've been chatting semi-regularly on line for nearly 2 years.
While our parting was less than affectionate, we both recognize that he was in need of a lot of growing up 30 years ago. I probably was, also. I'm very excited about seeing him again, but there are no illusions on either side about us ever being a couple again.
Anyway, what the heck - you have nothing to lose, right?
04-22-2004, 09:07 AM
You make whatever decision works for you but, for me personally, I would appreciate an apology from my ex-husband.
He did some really crappy things to me and to our son. Never once has he stepped up and offered any apology.
I don't want to get back together with him. I'm in a much better place in my life than I ever was when we were together. But...I think I would have an easier time believing him when he says he has changed if he just once owned up to his mistakes and said he was sorry.
Hope it works out for the best for you. :)
04-22-2004, 01:49 PM
Jeez, spiralscratch, what kind of ass are you for linking to that thread? Just joking.
Anyway, I did it and sent her a small email. I said that something made me think of her and because of that I found her email address. I said I hope that things are okay and I left her my email* in case she wanted to write back.
* I know that email has the address that it was sent from, but this email went to the postmaster account at her work, and I asked for my email to be forwarded to my ex. And, my note to her was an attachment, so that prying eyes wouldn't be tempted.
04-23-2004, 09:55 AM
She has responded to my email. I haven't read it yet, but she did respond and the subject wasn't anything like "FOAD", so this may not turn out too bad.
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