Yogi Berra! I LOVE You, Dood!

[Quasimodem]

Not only is he the greatest catcher ever in baseball, he is also the most wonderful philosopher of the modern age.

"Always go to other peoples' funerals. Otherwise they won't go to yours." :D

I love you, Yogi!

Q

[Mr. Roboto]

Mrs. Berra: "How was the Ballgame today Yogi?"

Yogi: "There was a rain delay in the 7th inning and a couple of
fans streaked"

Mrs. Berra: " Were they Boys or Girls?"

Yogi: "I don't know, they had bags on their heads"

[Loopus]

"Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded."

[wolf_meister]

Talking about low attendance at baseball games "If the people don't want to go to the ballpark, nobody's going to stop them."

My sister hasn't had her kid yet so I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.

If you don't know where you're going, you're never going to get there.

[F. U. Shakespeare]

Loopus, IIRC, that was a reference to Toots Shore's hot spot.

I remember an instance of a quote being associated with Yogi, by a writer (Time or Newsweek, ca 1990) who knew it was just his invention, but also knew that everyone would remember it as 'something Yogi said':

At the beginning of an article:

Some quote by Bart Giamatti (1938-1989)

"He musta said that before he died" -- Yogi Berra

In such ways are legends propagated.

We all love you Yogi!

[unclviny]

My personal favorite Yogi-ism:
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it"

Unclviny

[rackensack]

Which pretty much says it all, but I also love:

You can observe a lot just by watching.
We made too many wrong mistakes.
How can you think and hit at the same time?
So I'm ugly . . . I never saw anyone hit with his face.
and of course . .
I never said most of the things I said

[Colibri]

My favorite Yogism is in my sig.

Truly a zen sage.

[Merhouse]

My personal favorite Yogi-ism:
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it"

Unclviny

I've always loved this one, and I loved it even more when I read (I think in his book, I honestly can't remember), he was giving directions to his home:

He lives at the far end of a "circle", so, no matter which way you turn onto the circle, you will get to his house :D

[Nausicaa]

My favorite is - "90% of the game is half mental."

The man is a genius!

[AskNott]

You can find Yogi's book of quotes without any trouble, and I recommend it.

I wonder how many Yogi-isms we can quote here without getting into copyright trouble.

[waits]

I came across this one the other day. Someone asked Yogi about Joe DiMaggio's marriage to Marilyn Monroe:

"I don't know if it's good for baseball, but it sure beats the hell out of rooming with Phil Rizzuto."

Not exactly in the warped philosophy category, but truer words was never spoke.

[Eve]

My sister hasn't had her kid yet so I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.

Now, that was a Gracie Allen line, c1932. And it was probably old when Gracie used it . . .

[Jeff Lichtman]

A nickel ain't worth a dime any more.

[F. U. Shakespeare]

1) Describing two good friends: "They were as close as Damon and Runyon"

2) When someone looked at his battered suitcase and suggested he buy himself a new one: "What for? I'd only use it when I travel"

3) Not a quote from Yogi, more like an orbital effect:
A couple were dining in a St. Louis restaurant. The guy spots Yogi a few tables away, and points him out to his girlfriend.
Guy: See that man? That's the best catcher in the American League!
Girl: Wow! What did he catch?

Apologies to anyone under about 40 -- that last one played on Yogi-era stereotypes about women not caring about sports minutae ("There are batting averages, dear, but not catching averages"), while trying to act like they did care. With a little proto-blonde joke mixed in.

[wolf_meister]

Wow Eve, I stand corrected.
I remember seeing that on a humorous quotes calendar some years ago and it was attributed to Yogi Berra. I guess once a celebrity's legend for mis-statements, malapropisms, etc starts to grow, you begin to accept unquestiongly any quote that you might read. I bet 90% of the time, Yogi didn't say half those things.