_Worst_ Rock and Roll Song

[Saint Zero]

We've done Favorite Song, Fave Performance, now I'm looking for all time "Jesus Christ, Forgive them for they know not what they do" worst Rock and Roll song. Must have achieved airplay and some fame or infamy.

My Vote: Dead or Alive "Round and Round"
Or anything by Lynrd Skynrd, Allman Brothers, or any other "Southern Rock" group in that vein.

[L.Ron Hoover]

I like Round and Round, particularly as sung by Sandler in Wedding Singer.

Worst song ever has to be "I Only Wanna Be With You", by Hootie and the BlowJobs.

Worst successful Rock Band of All time by far is Poison.

[elucidator]

Inna Gadda da Vida....Iron Butterfly

Horror of horrors! Cthulu on bass Vlad Tsepes,lead bummer

[PowerpuffKue]

I'm sorry, but I have an estimated 76-way tie between:

-Every Limp Bizkit, KoRn, Blink 182 song ever made.

-"Everything you want" by Vertical Horizon.

[DoctorJ]

Or anything by Lynrd Skynrd, Allman Brothers, or any other "Southern Rock" group in that vein. I know many people who would cold-cock you with a Jack Daniels bottle for that statement.

My pick--and hear me out before you call me nuts--"Johnny B. Goode".

Now, this wasn't such a bad song in its original incarnation. However, it's been covered by everyone from your shitty high school garage band to the house band at your local college bar to Phish. No one has ever managed to make it any more interesting. I've often called for a total "Johnny B. Goode" moratorium in the music industry, but no one takes me seriously.

Dr. J

[DoctorJ]

Oh, and the aforementioned Hootie and the Suckfish track definitely wins my pick for most annoying song of the 1990's. They even had the balls to lift an entire passage straight from one of my favorite Dylan songs ("Idiot Wind"). The video is somewhere in the bottom ten as well.

That was one of those songs that makes me question the idea of "popular" music--you would think that song was incredibly popular, but I don't know anyone who actually liked it.

Dr. J

[Jello]

Anything by Creed or Limp Bizkit.

[katzmeow]

I am not sure if this constitutes "Rock and Roll" but this particular song is at the top of my "Worst songs in the history of the World" list. I am ducking my head for those of you who actually like this song....those of you who might throw something at me but here goes! I hate, loathe,detest,dispise,you get the picture by now, the song from the Titanic...My Heart Will Go On....and it does....go on, and on and on, ad nauseam! If you actually listen to the words, you realize that it says absolutely nothing....and who the heck could lose her heart over a wimpy guy like Leonardo DiCaprio anyway? 'Nuff said.....

[Joe_Cool]

Lynyrd Skynyrd? Are you high? Allman Brothers? They're boring, but not all that crappy. Dead or alive? They aren't even CLOSE to Rock! Since you can't distinguish 80s New Wave dance tracks from Rock and Roll, you can be excused this once for your bad taste.

There have been some fine candidates mentioned so far (johnny b. goode covers, inna gadda da vida, hootie and the blowfish, etc), but my vote for worst rock song is for "Muskrat Love" from America. Yeah, it's folk rock, but still.

In fact, I think that may be the worst song ever written, and whoever gave the ok for that to go on a record should commit seppuku. I mean, isn't that what producers are supposed to PREVENT?

[Trion]

I suppose someone should bring up Dave Barry's Bad Song Survey, so it might as well be me. The most votes went to "MacArthur Park".

I include the above only for the sake of completeness. My vote goes to "In the Year 2525". If you haven't heard it, consider yourself lucky. Nothing mentioned so far comes near it's level of badness.

[xenophon41]

My vote goes to "In the Year 2525". If you haven't heard it, consider yourself lucky. Nothing mentioned so far comes near it's level of badness.

Hmmm. I can trump that with "Seasons in the Sun," perhaps the nadir of early 70's AM radio airplay.

[Saint Zero]

Lynyrd Skynyrd? Are you high? Allman Brothers? They're boring, but not all that crappy. Dead or alive? They aren't even CLOSE to Rock! Since you can't distinguish 80s New Wave dance tracks from Rock and Roll, you can be excused this once for your bad taste.


Hm. Good point, it did get played on the air tho.

Hey, I've got tons I'd rather not suffer through again. :)

I shall think out my picks in the future however.

Rock and Roll: Eric Clapton - Tears in Heaven. Dude, Look. I'm sorry your son is dead, but after this song I want to _join_ him. :D

[ThisYearsGirl]

What about that song about the guy whose dog just died? I can't think of the title, but it's pretty bad.
I also cast a vote for: "We Built this City" by Starship, "Cum on, Feel the Noize" by Quiet Riot (the worst part about that song is they didn't even write it. It was a cover--their most popular song not only sucked ass, but they didn't even come up with it themselves), every Ted Nugent song about what a man he is, and "Dancing Queen" by ABBA--I just any song that rhymes seventeen with queen, scene, or magazine. On a similiar idea, I hate an song that rhymes fire with desire. Jimi Hendrix is the only person who can get away with it.

[AHunter3]

Among the many honorable mentions...

Lay Down Sally
Havin' My Baby
Isn't She Lovely
Solid As A Rock
Candle in the Wind (Diana version)
Only Sixteen
Tonight's the Night
I'm Saving All My Love For You
Run Joey Run (Daddy Please Don't)
Witchy Woman
Sherrr...errr...ERRRR, errr, errr eeee Bay yay beeeeeeee...
Rock around the Clock

Intruders onto Rock stations that WEREN'T rock AND sucked...

anything by Leo Sayer
anything with the word Funk in it
I'll Be There Before the Next Teardrop Falls
anything with the word "Disco" in it
the Bee Gees
Bad Bad Bad Bad Boys Make me Feel so Good
A Fifth of Beethoven
And I...Will Always Love You...ooooh....oooh
...For a Woman to Be....Ordinary Woman
Amadeus (=AmadeusAMADEUSamadeusAmadeus)
Go Away Little Girl (Donny Osmond)

but here's my finalist, an oldie but baddie that stuck in my head since grade school as a truly horrid song. It had pretty forgettable lyrics and tune at the beginning, but ended up with a long, repetitive, never-ending refrain over and over and over and over and over again:

"I'm get-ting CLO-ser to my wor-rld"

PS: the song about the guy whose dog just died was "Shannon", I believe.

[divemaster]

Anything by Peter Frampton. Yuk!

For crossover pop I nominate Islands in the Stream

I like Elton John okay, but Bennie and the Jets is really annoying.

[Kyla]

The song "Fly Away" by Lenny Kravitz. God, I hate that song. It's used as the music in some Nissan commercial, I think, and every time it comes on, I lunge for the remote.

[Greyson3]

Well, (I don't know if it counts as rock; I'm really not sure what to call it...) there's always "My Dingaling". I would like to recommend "I Shot the Sheriff". I dislike that song.

Macarthur Park wins the prize for worst lyrics in [b}any[/b] song, [b]ever[/]. If you can think of any song that tops "Sweet green icing flowing down...", I would like to hear it.

[Trion]

I can trump that with "Seasons in the Sun,"

I think we'll just have to agree to disagree on this one xenophon41. Yes, "Seasons in the Sun" is a terrible, terrible song. But it just doesn't provoke that needles-in-the-eyeballs-and-knee-to-the-groin reaction I get from "In the Year 2525".

[Greyson3]

Oh yeah, and "Eve of Destruction". What a smarmy song.

--------
"In the year 2525, if man is still alive... If woman can survive, they may find..." (Thanks to Trion for reminding me.)

[Scotticher]

"Muskrat Love" from America.


I thought Captain and Tennille did that one. I find it hard to believe that America would have been THAT stupid?

Scotti

[casdave]

No-one but the US and the Brits can make proper rock (ducks and runs)
The final countdown - Europe
Venus - Shocking Blue, ok but not rock
Ca plane pour moi - Plastic Bertrand
Radar Love - Golden Earring is about as close as they got.
Rock me Amadeaus, mercifully I can't remember who commited that.

But the US can be very embarassed at that twee rock period in the early 60's which included Bobby Vee, Pat Boone, and Connie Francis.
The Brit contribution to this hall of shame must include Leiutenant Pidgeon with 'Mouldy old dough'

or maybe Middle of the road - Chirpy Chirpy cheep cheep

[Scotticher]

Oh, casdave, for shame! I LOVE Bobby Vee! My sister was eleven when I was born, so she was playing all those wonderful rock and roll records when I was in the cradle. (The womb, too, but I don't rememeber that as well.)

"Devil or Angel" and "The Night Has a Thousand Eyes", along with "Take Good Care of my Baby" are classic themes.

Scotti

[Boris B]

It's not one of my least favorite songs, but it was Falco who sang "Rock Me Amadeus" as well as "Der Kommissar" which doesn't make sense the way After the Fire translated it. I shouldn't turn around? Because the "Kommissar's in town"? You apparently don't even know part of the city he's in, but I can't even turn around? How paranoid can you get.

I have tons of least favorite rock songs, but all the ones I can think of off hand are by The Violent Femmes. These guys lowered the standards for independent rock more than anyone since. If I had only heard them once or twice, I would have written it off as a demo from some failed garage band. I really only hate them because so many of my friends worship them. Why? "Because they suck." You mean, you like them because they're bad? "Yes. Listen to those flat harmonies. Listen to those ultracliche rhymes. The whole thing sounds like it was recorded by ten-year-olds on the cassette recorder their sister uses to tape lectures. They suck!" Granted, but how do we get from there to their being so many people's favorite band?

I don't know Gordon, why do you think you can't get just one fuck? Do you have a wild guess? Hmm? Or just one screw? Hell, I thought "a screw" and "a fuck" were the same thing, but I guess they are different to you since they rhyme with different words, huh? Which one are you, "the Blind" or "the Naked"? How about "the Dumbass Guy who Didn't Bother to Learn to Sing but Decided to Inflict his Crap All Over a Dying Race Just for Kicks"? Hope I got fat, do you?! I got more than fat, motherfucker. I got fucking tortured by you for no other reason than I was born with the curse of hearing. Your headaches and your heartaches, IF YOU HAVE A HEART, are small compensation for my suffering.

[tracer]

All of them.

(Except when you're dancing to them, maybe.)

[RealityChuck]

The worst? So many to choose from.

"Free Bird" Primarly for the worst guitar solo in recorded history (though Skynyrd did do some pretty good songs, too).

Anything by the later Steve Milller (from "The Joker" on).

"Backfield in Motion" by Mel and Tim, mostly for it's stupid lyrics.

The pointless remake of "Killing Me Softly with His Song."

"The Lemon Song" by Led Zeppelin. One of my favorite groups, but the song's an embarassment.

"Neanderthal Man" by Hotlegs. An incredibly stupid piece of tripe by the people who wised up and became 10cc.

[Danielinthewolvesden]

No doubt: "MacArthur Park". hands down, no race.

[Whammo]

AHHRRGHH!! Most of you "people" are starting to piss me off!! I gotta get outa here!! :)

[bedhog]

My two cents:

"Hot Girls in Love" by Loverboy (crappy Canadian band that had their 15 minutes sometime in the early '80's).

"Hot For Teacher" by Van Halen - yecch.

That dumb Barbie song.

"Sunglasses at Night" by Corey Hart.

"Bette Davis Eyes" - not sure who sings this, but when I hear it I actually get angry.

And anything by Michael Jackson, especially that smarmy duet with Paul McCartney.

[Scotticher]

"Bette Davis Eyes" was recorded by Kim Carnes.

I never quite got it, either.

But it isn't as bad as Melanie-"I've Got a Brand New Pair of Roller Skates"-whats up with that?

Scotti

[Saint Zero]

"Bette Davis Eyes" was recorded by Kim Carnes.

I never quite got it, either.

But it isn't as bad as Melanie-"I've Got a Brand New Pair of Roller Skates"-whats up with that?

Scotti


That was my wifes vote for worst rock n roll song. :)

[whitetho]

Always interesting on these lists to see the well-qualified songs included with the "but that was a great song! (IMHO)" selections.

For worst rock song, I'll go with "Two Princes" by the Spin Doctors, with "In the Year 2525 (Exordium & Terminus)" by Zager & Evans a close second. And Boston as the most consistently bad group, dinosaur-rock division

AHunter3 mentioned "Run Joey Run (Daddy Please Don't) " by David Geddes, a well qualified candidate (although more of a pop song), but the follow-up to this record, "The Last Game of the Season (A Blind Man in the Bleaches)" was, IMHO, even worse.

[Typo Negative]

Oh yeah, and "Eve of Destruction". What a smarmy song.

--------
"


But there was a great punk version by the Dickies ( my personal favorite).


My vote for the worst rock song is 'Hot Legs' by Rod Stewart. God, that song sucks.

[Flutterby]

Oh boy.. *looks embarassed* And I like quite a few of the songs listed here. (Others I just haven't heard of so I'm assuming their bad) I like some Creed, KoRn, Limp Bizkit (actually just one or two songs out of them all so don't hold it completely against me)

[Goose]

99 Red Balloons is the worst song ever made.

[Scotticher]

99 Red Balloons is the worst song ever made.


I haven't heard this song, so I don't know if it is worse than my choice for worst song ever made-

but I would think it would be hard to beat "Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road"

[pulykamell]

Wow,

People do take music a bit seriously here. "99 Red Balloons" by Nena? Oh, it's a fun bubblegum pop song, leave it alone. Some of you just don't have appreciation for cheese, now do ya? :)


Though have you ever heard the parody "99 Dead Baboons?" "99 Dead Baboons/sitting in my living room/ how they got there I'm not sure/ woke up one day there they were/Luckily I've got a lease/allowing pets if they're deceased/I'm just thankful they're not apes/cuz apes would clash with the drapes, etc, etc, etc..."


Anyhow, with that, my vote goes to:

"My Ding-A-Ling" by Chuck Berry. It is a sad, sad testament to popular taste that this was the ONLY song by Berry to hit number 1.

"Ice Ice Baby" has to rank somewhere up there, although it won't fit in the category of rock. "The Name Game" by Shirley Ellis is partucularly unlistenable as well. While we're at it, lemme also put on the blacklist: "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls, "I Think We're Alone Now," the Tiffany version, "Good Vibrations" by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. "Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer.

And, I'm sorry, I like Madonna, but her remake of "American Pie" is so emotionally flat and uninspired.

[ThisYearsGirl]

How did I forget "She's My Cherry Pie," by either Warrant or Winger? I hate that song so much!

[vanilla]

Oh, this brings back suhc memories! So many to choose from!
Yep, Cherry Pie is one. Also: Sweet Child Of Mine
and I Write the Songs by Barry Manilow
of course: if Barry Manilow sang Sweet Child Of Mine it might help!
LOL

Rose: whose favorite song is Ice Ice Baby

[Milossarian]

Mine is kind of obscure, but people who like classic rock will be familiar with it.

"Visionary Man" by Kansas.

Elementary school children could write better song lyrics.

Here's the chorus:

"And he KNEW!
You could tell by the pictures he DREW!
It was totally something NEW!
Oh where was he going to?

And he TRIED!
But before he could tell us he DIED!
When he left us the people CRIED!
Oh where was he going to?"

Throw in one of those completely out-of-place, pretentious little pseudo-symphonic jams in the middle of the song that Kansas was so famous for, and voila! An incredibly lame song.

For fun, my friends and I would come up with other dumb lines for the chorus:

And he read "Art of War" by Sun TZU!

His favorite Crayola was BLUE!

His interest began to ACCRUE!

etc.

[Johnny Angel]

I Started a Joke by the BeeGees. The worst.

Greyson3 wrote:

Oh yeah, and "Eve of Destruction". What a smarmy song.

If you don't like this song, it's obviously because you never tried singing it Elmer Fudd style. Allow me to demonstrate:

The Eastewn Wowd, it is expwodin'
Viowence fwawin', buwwets woadin'
Yoah owed enough to kiww, but not foah votin'
You say you don't beweeve in woah, but what's that gun yoah totin'?
And even the Joadan wivew has bodies fwoatin'
And you teww me, ovew and ovew and ovew again my fwend
Aw, you don't beweeve we'we on the eve of destwuction
No, no, you won't beweeve we'we on the eve of destwuction

[Ringo]

One that drove me to distraction was Sylvia's Mother by Dr. Hook.

Ewww, I typed it.

Worse than a Kris Kristofferson screen performance.

[JavaMaven1]

"Pretty Fly for a White Guy" by the Offspring

oooohhhhh even the thought makes me cringe.

[Catfood Purrito]

One that drove me to distraction was Sylvia's Mother by Dr. Hook.




Hey! That's a good song, man! Everyone I know loves that song. That and Cover of the Rolling Stone...heh.

Call me a weirdo, but I could never see what was so great about Rush. The lead singer's voice makes my ears bleed.

It's not rock, really, but that Dixie Chicks song about Earl really bugs me. Well, the Dixie Chicks in general really bug me, so that's no surprise.

I'm going to go hide now, since I guess I'm one of the chosen few who really dig the song "In the Year 2525." For some reason, my high school psychology teacher played it for us in class, and I've loved it ever since.

I can't really choose a song that I would nominate as worst ever, I'd make a horrible critic, I can see the merits in just about everything. The only one I can think of that makes me cringe with just the opening notes is Tom Sawyer by Rush.

[Odieman]

In the Year 2525 should be considered seriously for this award because even Zager and Evans hated it. However, the winner for worst song should go to Pat Boone for "Tutty Frutti" for A:) it's overall lameness and B:) for inspiring countless numbers of people to cover songs that they had no business singing.
Keith
Oh, yeah any Michael Bolton song, especially "When a Man Loves a Woman" and "She's Like the Wind by Patrick Swayze.

[Myron Van Horowitzski]

Anything written by Jim Steinman. ::retch::

[rraygun]

I'd like to nominate two oldies that nobody has mentioned yet:

1. My Eyes Adore You - Whining song by a loser who never worked up the courage to speak to some babe. Insipid vocals, cliched lyrics that verge on the nonsensical. "Worked my fingers to the bone, made myself a name..."

2. Horse with No Name - If you've never heard this one get down on your knees and thank god! Once you've thought of it the tune gets in your head and won't leave for at least 3 days. You may end up biting open a vein in your arm just to get relief! "Oh I went to the desert on a horse with no name. It felt good to get out of the rain."

[missbunny]

Sigh. I wrote a response - it was quite hilarious, if I may say - and my computer crashed when I tried to submit. So here's the short version:

The absolute worst: Cherry Pie - Warrant
The Streak
My Love Does it Good - Wings

[Lord Derfel]

How about Henry the Eighth (or whatever it's called) by Herman's Hermits? "Oim Enery the eighth I yam, Enery the Eighth I yam, I yam." A song so bad, I have declared my apartment a Herman's Hermits free zone.

Second on my list is REM's Stand. I usually like their music, but why the hell did they write that song?

Lastly, any song by an actor or other celebrity (specifically Eddie Murphy and Bruce Willis) is usually enough to make me retch.

[Sam Stone]

To me, the worst rock songs are the ones that are dripping in pretension. The bubble-gum crap like "Muskrat Love" may be annoying, but to get to truly awe-inspiring badness you need to have a Spinal Tapesque burned out druggie writing 'deep' lyrics that he thinks are great poetry. So, in that spirit I give you:

"Aqualung" - Jethro Tull
"Conquistador" - Same guys (and don't pronouce it, "ConKWISTador", you moron)
"In the Year 2525" - Zager and Evans
"The Eve of Destruction" - Sgt. Barry Sadler "Macarthur Park" - Richard Harris
Half the stuff by Kansas and Uriah Heep, although both groups did some good songs
90% of the 'Power Ballads' done by talentless metal groups like Poison, Quiet Riot, etc.


Oh, and Lyrnyrd Skynyrd and the Allman brothers are two of the greatest rock bands that ever played. So there!

[xizor]

I would like to nominate:
Kiss - Rock & Roll All Nite
That song really grinds on me.

[jesuslynch]

It's so damn obvious

Anything, ANYTHING by the MONKEES!

Momma Jesus played that crap all weekend. I swear I'm gonna kill myself next time. (Maybe that's her plan.)

[Merbie]

Anything by the later Steve Milller (from "The Joker" on).



. . . and Bob Seger (how many times did he repeat "like a rock" in that annoying song? 200+?)

[SuaSponte]

I agree with the general distaste for "2525" and "Eve of Distruction", but I can't believe no one nominated "The Greatest Love of All" by Whitney Houston. Not only does this song define sappy, but, in compelling evidence of its utter WRONGNESS, the powers that be at my high school loved it so much, they played it TWICE during my graduation ceremonies.

Blech

V.

[SarumanRex]

No one has mentioned any Lou Perlman boy band crap even once. Am I the only one who is tormented by The Backdoor Boys, 'Nstink, 98 degrees K, Brittany Spews, Christina Agu-whatever, every time I turn on MTV? I believe they qualify as rock music, the way a Yugo qualifies as a car. How will they know they suck if we don't tell them? What is the point of picking on songs by artists who dropped off the radar years ago.
My personal favorite (if that's the right word) for worst song (and video) ever is REM's Losing my Religion. They still play this on MTV during any countdown of the best videos of all time. I hate the tune, I hate the lyrics, and the part in the video when the fallen angel gets his fake wound probed makes me wretch. Am I truly alone on this?

[Myron Van Horowitzski]

Good list, Sam, however I believe it was Procol Harum guilty of "Conquistador."

Sua, I definitely agree that Whiney's (saw this typo in a music catalog, hee hee!) song is retchable, but its wrongness pales in comparison to its hideous progeniter, "Lovin' You," by Minnie Ripperton.

Minnie died of cancer a few years ago. I bet she got it from singing that song.

[betenoir]

Wait a minute. Maybe I missed it. But has no-one mentioned Bily Joel?
HAS NO-ONE MENTIONED PHIL COLLINS???
I am convinced it's not the heavy metal bands (well maybe some of the heavy metal bands) but Phil Collins who has made a pact with Satan. Because the true interests of evil are best served by mind numbing mediocrity.
"In the air tonight" also makes it for worst video, three minutes of Collins' face.
"ABACAB" is a lyric about a cord progression.
I could go on but...no I can't go on, it's too painful.

Billy Joel? "You had to be a big shot" (is that the title or just the refrain?) is only the ugliest of his many ugly songs.

Elton John is also pure evil (IMHO).

[Typo Negative]

I like Billy Joels' 'Big Shot'!

But you are certainly on track with Phil 'megaweeny' Collins. His greatest crime was a duet with a falsetto has-been called 'She's an easy lover'. At least I assume that's the title. worst lyrics ever!

[Saint Zero]

[list]
"Conquistador" - Same guys (and don't pronouce it, "ConKWISTador", you moron)


That's Procol Harum. I kinda liked it. :)

[Coldfire]

I'm posting this without reading the thread, because I am so anxious to get this Sure Winner in.

I humbly submit Looking for Freedom by David Hasselhof. First of all, because of the lyrics (http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Hub/6133/mdavid_hasselhofl.htm). But mostly, because of the visual terror inflicted upon the world by means of the video and sleeve pictures. I am more than pleased to report you that I have been unable to locate examples of these Evil Pictures.

As a compensation, I offer you the Knight Rider (http://www.fortunecity.com/lavendar/007/315/hasselhoff1.JPG) himself.

::shudder::

[Biotop]

No matter how awful and ugly and gruesome and tortuous I can imagine Hell to be, it could be made exponentially worse if "Brown Eyed Girl" was being played constantly in the background.

[tracer]

I would just like to mention at this juncture that the song "Eve of Destruction" played a central role in one episode of The Greatest American Hero.

[ThisYearsGirl]

"Eve of Distruction"--is that the one that rhymes "contemplating" with "my blood's coagulating"? If it is, it gets my vote, right behind the aforementioned "Cherry Pie."
"Losing My Religion"--I love REM. They're one of my top five favorite bands and I'm in love with the bass player, but I hate that song so much. And I hate that video. My friend and I had this theory that whenever a music video tries to meaningful, it contains at least one of the following images--an old person, an apple, someone bleeding, and a mirror. I believe "Losing my Religion" is 3 for 4 on that one.

[Ringo]

rraygun, thank you so much for mentioning that song. Hmmm, this is Tuesday, can I cure it by Friday? I need to go listen to some 13th Floor Elevators now..

[KarlGauss]

To me, the worst rock songs are the ones that are dripping in pretension. The bubble-gum crap like "Muskrat Love" may be annoying, but to get to truly awe-inspiring badness you need to have a Spinal Tapesque burned out druggie writing 'deep' lyrics that he thinks are great poetry. So, in that spirit I give you:

"Aqualung" - Jethro Tull
"Conquistador" - Same guys (and don't pronouce it, "ConKWISTador", you moron)
"In the Year 2525" - Zager and Evans
"The Eve of Destruction" - Sgt. Barry Sadler "Macarthur Park" - Richard Harris
Half the stuff by Kansas and Uriah Heep, although both groups did some good songs
90% of the 'Power Ballads' done by talentless metal groups like Poison, Quiet Riot, etc.





Um, excuse me Sam. Conquistador was by Procol Harum. Barry Sadler did the Green Berets. The Eve of Destruction was by Barry McGuire

And Sam, Aqualung, in its time, was far above the rest. Methinks familiarity breeds contempt.

[vanilla]

xizor: are you crazy? That is a good song!
I forgot one of mine: D.O.A. by Bloodrock.

[Ann Onimous]

But it isn't as bad as Melanie-"I've Got a Brand New Pair of Roller Skates"-whats up with that?



Melanie had two really bad songs: this one (called Brand New Key, which most musicians believe she actually should have *found* a key to begin with before searching for a new one) and "I've Never Been To Me." God, it brings back such bad 70's flashbacks!

[Joe_Cool]

"Muskrat Love" from America.


I thought Captain and Tennille did that one. I find it hard to believe that America would have been THAT stupid?

Scotti



Sadly, it WAS America who inflicted that piece of tripe on the music scene. I have "History" (their greatest hits cd) at home, and it's on there. I just wish I knew where track 7 is on the disk physically, so I could gouge it out with a knife.

[vanilla]

I Did forget another: I Don't Like Mondays by the Boomtown Rats.

[tiggeril]

What about Steppenwolf?

"Born To Be Wild" has assaulted my ears wayyyyy too many times to be omitted from this list. Not to mention all the occasions where companions cheerfully wailed away during road trips. I have to go shower now.

[vanilla]

Born to Run also.

[Action Jackson]

You people have missed three worst songs in recorded history.
1. Afternoon Delight - Starland Voical Band
2. Troglodite - Don't know don't care it was bad
3. Your So Vain - Carly Simon

For body of works there is the group Bread, and Eric Carman his stuff was he just lost the girl or he just found the girl. To me it sounds like he couldn't stay in a relationship.

[Edwardina]

Number 1: "Young Girl, Get Out of My Mind." In a just world, whoever sang that song is dead. The topic is questionable, and the song itself is deadly. In the same vein, "Seventeen" by Winger, "Cherry Pie" by Warrant, and any other song with a "joy of porking underage girls" theme.

"Electric Avenue"
Anything by Jose Feliciano
Anything by Barry Manilow
Anything by Leslie Gore

And I agree, "Benny and the Jets" is an annoying song. I think most of Elton's work is either cloying or depressing.

Billy Joel is right in there with Elton. Most of his stuff just rubs me the wrong way: "Only the Good Die Young" and "Piano Man"

I know I'm going down for that. I don't know why people love that song, but they do. Hork!

[casdave]

Conquistador was by Procul Harum.

[D Marie]

Of the ones so far mentioned, I have to concur with "Islands in the Stream." Wretched.

That Pearl Jam version of "Last Kiss" (is that the title?) was heinous. It was played so often in the last six months that I got where I could recognize the first few notes, so that I could instantaneously change the station. (I felt like I was on Name That Tune.) The original of that song was also offensive, but to intentionally drag something like that from the grave and remake it... :rolleyes:

I read and laughed hysterically at Dave Barry's book, and I see that "MacArthur Park" is also getting shredded in this thread. I have never heard this song. My dad used to listen to the "oldies" stations 24/7, but I don't recall it at all. I feel like I'm missing out not knowing what this song is like, since it has been acclaimed the worst of all time.

[Sherman]

1950s - Any Pat Boone R&B cover
1960s - a lot of bad songs but the worst is
"Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh" greeting from
Camp Hiawatha.
1970s - nearly all disco songs but the worst is
"Disco Duck" by Rick Dees
1980s - most hair band ballads but the worst is
"Wanted Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi
1990s - I think hands down it has to be "MMMBop" by Hanson
2000s - Anything by these assembly line boy dance groups
especially NSync

[waterj2]

By you people's standards I obviously have bad taste in music. I actually like In the Year 2525, although I do recognize the lack of quality that is quite apparent in it. I can't believe that Tom Sawyer got a mention without any response from Coldfire.

Personally, my nod goes to those whiney arrogant Brits known as Oasis, and that one song of theirs that they periodically change the lyrics to and rerelease under a different title. Why the fuck are they compared to the Beatles? Even if they managed to successfully sound like the Beatles, they'd still be second-rate hacks with uninspired whiney songs.

[ricepad]

"Billy, Don't Be A Hero"...oh, what the hell, Billy...go ahead and get shot...otherwise, listen to what you have to come home to...

[casdave]

Two Little Boys - Rolf Harris

I Surrender - Whitesnake(or was it Rainbow?) the lyrics are not exactly the epitome of the rock n roll lifestyle, probably better siuted to the Corrs, or the Nolan sisters

[Edwardina]

But you are certainly on track with Phil 'megaweeny' Collins. His greatest crime was a duet with a falsetto has-been called 'She's an easy lover'. At least I assume that's the title. worst lyrics ever!


Hey, I like *some* Phil Collins, at least "I Can Feel It Coming In The Air Tonight." Admittedly, that's the only one I can think of right now . . .

I wish I had thought of Pearl Jam's "Last Kiss" Ugh! Gruesome.

[SoSueMe]

I like the Monkees. It's Sting who's impossible to listen to.

[casdave]

I won't do that - Meat Loaf
Total eclipse of the heart - Bonnie Tyler
Metal Guru - T Rex the outro just goes on and on and .....

[jayron 32]

No one has mentioned: every Aerosmith song since they got off of drugs.

OK, now Permanent Vacation was an OK album, but since "Janie's got a gun" EVERY Aerosmith song of the past 10 years has been some crappy ballad lacking any lyrical or musical uniquness. Look at the crazy/crying/crap they've done lately... Ugh, how the mighty have fallen.

[Spectre of Pithecanthropus]

My vote goes to "In the Year 2525". If you haven't heard it, consider yourself lucky. Nothing mentioned so far comes near it's level of badness.

Actually I always sort of liked it. It's a lot better than
most of the other baddies mentioned here, IMHO. Has a good rhythm section.

[Spectre of Pithecanthropus]

Good list, Sam, however I believe it was Procol Harum guilty of "Conquistador."

This song always reminds me of the old Swanson's jingle that went "Swanson's makes it good". The opening vocal notes of Conq. are exactly the same as those of the jingle,
and I always had a problem with that.

[Jodi]

I don't usual bare my soul on the Board, but . . .

I really like bad '70s (and late '60s) music. Yes, I know it's bad. It's kind of the aural equivalent of Circus Peanuts. I like "Billy Don't Be A Hero" and "The Night Chicago Died" and "Wildfire" and, yes, "MacArthur Park" and "Seasons In the Sun." Berate me if you must.

And I laughed my butt off at the Elmer Fudd version of "Eve of Destruction" and the sublime "99 Dead Baboons," which I had never heard before. Great thread!

Oh, and I vote for "Cherry Pie" by Warrant. No contest.

[casdave]

I liked the Elmer Fudd version of that Loose Windscreen song ,

I'm dwivin in my car,
You turn on the wadiow
You're puwwin me cwose,
I just say no,
I say I don't wike it but you know I'm a wiar,
Cos when we kiss ooo wooo fiyer.

[capacitor]

Be honest all. Do you hate the songs because of its (lack) of quality or because of its frequent play? Many of the songs you cited are actually somewhat good, at least better than the man who tried to destroy soul music, R. Kelly. I heard "I Believe I Can Fly" once, and I hoped that one time he actually does believe and jump off a roof. Ooh, I never before wished that on a person.

[Gr8Kat]

I'm surprised no one has mention "Mr. Roboto" by Styx. My husband is a huge Styx fan, but he has to run from the room in horror (or at least change the station) if he hears that song.

Recent songs that I think qualify as being as bad as anything else on this list:

"Pretty Fly for a White Guy," Offspring
"Get a Job," Offspring
"Black Back Pack," I forget their name
"Will the Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up," Eminem--is it just me or is the irony of him complaining about imitators and wanna-bes just too much?
"Cowboy," Kid Rock--does he even know what a cowboy does?
"The Bad Touch," The Bloodhound Gang
"Santaria," "Date Rape," hell, anything by Sublime.

I hope that, if these songs don't fade from the public's collective consciousness, they're at least remembered as being the worst the last couple years have had to offer.

[PeterB]

99 Red Balloons is the worst song ever made.
Heresy!

Whilst neun und neunzig luftballoons was better, because it at least scanned properly (and despite my pisspoor knowledge of german I find it a little more comprehensible), the song kicks ass, and has a hardcore old skool bass line.

Plus, I fancy Nena, despite her apparent inability to shave her armpits. (Or at least, I fancy Nena as she was in the 1980s).

I would personally vote for anything sung by Elvis ('cept for the PSB's cover of Always On My Mind, which kicks ass). Or Buddy Holly. Ugh.

[Gr8Kat]

I would personally vote for anything sung by Elvis ('cept for the PSB's cover of Always On My Mind, which kicks ass). Or Buddy Holly. Ugh.




I think that was Willy Nelson, not Elvis. I may be wrong, though, they may have both done it.

[PeterB]

Willie Nelson may have sung it (I honestly have no idea) but Elvis certainly did.

And it sucks.

[rockerjoe]

I hate to say it, but i LIKE the hair bands from the eighties, but i plead youthfull indiscression, i grew up on the crap. I started to realise that i was growing up though when my immeadiate responce was any of the Korn, Limp Bizcut, and the millions of copycats they have. Pick a song, any song from these people, it's all the same, the lyrics and the music are exact copies of the last time any of the went into the sudio. My ultimate answer is the ENTIRE Van Halen "Three" disc. Oh Diamond Dave, how we miss you, and hell, Sammy, you never looked so good as when the new guy, Gary (from Extreem, also up there with "More than Words") fronted the band....<sigh>
I'm sorry, but to me, all of the crappy boy bands do not even warrant consideration.....i cannot call them rock songs....computer programs, maybe.
joe

[CrankyAsAnOldMan]

rraygun, you haven't lived until you've heard "Horse With No Name" done as a cover by these two cambodian nightclub singers in "Air America." Run, do not walk, to your local video store and rent this flick for that scene alone.

[djwalker]

Sorry, but I gotta go with "Knights in White Satin" It's not unlike long fingernails on a chalk board. I can't even remember who sang it now. yeeewwww....

[CreaseMunky]

I've been a DJ for 12 years now, and I have heard more bad songs than you can possibly imagine. But without a doubt, the most horrid, putrid, I'd-rather-chew-glass-than-hear-this-again song has got to be "Rock On" by David Essex.

You know it:

"Hey, kid, rock and roll
Rock on
Oooooo my soul"

Just thinking about that song gives me heartburn.

[vanilla]

Rock On by David Essex has always ben one of My favorites!

[gobear]

Worst Bubblegum song- "Puppy Love" by Donny Osmond. Of all the smarmy early 70's fey love songs, this one outsmarms them all.

Worst Heavy Metal Song-anything by Motley Crue. God, they were horrible!

Worst New Wave Song-"Cars" by Gary Numan. Three minutes of screechy synthesizers and a droning, off key, android vocalizing.

Worst song by an otherwise great band-"Several Species of Small, Furry Animals Together In A Cave And Grooving With A Pict"-Pink Floyd What the hell did they add to the pot in the studio that day?

Worst song you can hear on the radio today-"American Pie"-Madonna. She has forever ruined that tune for me.

[gobear]

Worst Bubblegum song- "Puppy Love" by Donny Osmond. Of all the smarmy early 70's fey love songs, this one outsmarms them all.

Worst Heavy Metal Song-anything by Motley Crue. God, they were horrible!

Worst New Wave Song-"Cars" by Gary Numan. Three minutes of screechy synthesizers and a droning, off key, android vocalizing.

Worst song by an otherwise great band-"Several Species of Small, Furry Animals Together In A Cave And Grooving With A Pict"-Pink Floyd What the hell did they add to the pot in the studio that day?

Worst song you can hear on the radio today-"American Pie"-Madonna. She has forever ruined that tune for me.

[Jodi]

Sorry, but I gotta go with "Knights in White Satin" It's not unlike long fingernails on a chalk board. I can't even remember who sang it now.

:: beepbeepbeep! Who are the Moody Blues?

I'll take "Aging British Pop Bands" for 400, Alex.

[osiej]

Just reading this thread I'll have all these horrible songs in my head for days...

Not a rock song ... Cross-over pop, maybe, but the absolute worst ever....

"Reunited" by peaches and herb.

Makes me positively postal.

[capacitor]

osiej: Now you commited blasphemy. You are singular proof
that it not the music, but the listeners make themselves, go homicidal. Reunited is about a husband and wife seeing each other after being apart for some time. Which sort of fits Ashford and Simpson, who wrote the song, to a tee.

[Dylan]

I have 8 words for you:

"How much is that doggie in the window?"

[CVALLEYGAL]

My vote for worst Rock 'n' roll song would have to be "Roxanne" Hated it so bad...can't even remember who sang it! )Old timers disease I guess) The words are "Roxanne, you don't have to turn on the red light...Roxanne....

Whoever it is that sings it, if I were to see them in concert, the urge to go up and slap them and say "get help" would be overwhelming!

[SarumanRex]

My vote for worst Rock 'n' roll song would have to be "Roxanne" Hated it so bad...can't even remember who sang it! )Old timers disease I guess) The words are "Roxanne, you don't have to turn on the red light...Roxanne....

Whoever it is that sings it, if I were to see them in concert, the urge to go up and slap them and say "get help" would be overwhelming!


"Roxanne" is by the Police. I agree that Sting needs to be slapped but not for his music with the Police but for his entire solo career (with the exception of "Love is the 7th Wave" I liked that one song of his post-Police career).