My nineteen-year-old son went to the beach and while he was gone I moved away

[Anita Vacation]

No, really! When he came home, the house was empty except for his clothes and bed. I didn’t tell him my new address; I swear, I’m not making this up!

It can be done, folks. This is the stuff of legend, and I’m proud to say I pulled it off! :cool:

[Scarlett67]

Why, pray tell?

[Anita Vacation]

Why, pray tell?
You obviously don't have a nineteen-year-old son. :D

[Geobabe]

Bad Mommy!

:D

[swampbear]

Why, pray tell?

Pray tell, indeed! One does not make a statement such as the OP without all the juicy background Anita Vacation. You know dopers just have to know all the details.

[John Carter of Mars]

Go you! Believe it or not, there are three people working in this office today, and two of us were talking about how to pull something like this off.

Thanks for the clue. :cool:

[ZebraShaSha]

You had me in fits of laughter by the title alone. This is something I could see my family doing to me when I was nine if I wasn't such a smart booger back then.

[ivylass]

Unless there is some mitigating reason, like your son is a pedophile drug addict who has a slick lawyer and has thus far been able to avoid jail time, I must say I think you're a prize bitch.

I am quite willing to revise my assumption of your character upon further information. We wait patiently for the details.

[Anita Vacation]

Go you! Believe it or not, there are three people working in this office today, and two of us were talking about how to pull something like this off.

Thanks for the clue. :cool:
It really came down to good timing and a lot of luck!
I'm glad to be able to give hope to other parents out there. It can be done!

[UncleBill]

Unless there is some mitigating reason,.... , I must say I think you're a prize bitch.They give out AWARDS for this? Cool!

[Geobabe]

Unless there is some mitigating reason, like your son is a pedophile drug addict who has a slick lawyer and has thus far been able to avoid jail time, I must say I think you're a prize bitch.

I am quite willing to revise my assumption of your character upon further information. We wait patiently for the details.Well, he wasn't gonna tell her his new address either; she just got the jump on him.

[ivylass]

I must have missed the relevant thread. Is there a link?

[Anita Vacation]

Unless there is some mitigating reason, like your son is a pedophile drug addict who has a slick lawyer and has thus far been able to avoid jail time, I must say I think you're a prize bitch.

I am quite willing to revise my assumption of your character upon further information. We wait patiently for the details.
Hey, HEY! I resemble that remark! :eek:

Geo also makes a good point: I don't know where he is either, but we do know each other's cell phone numbers.

[ivylass]

Okay, I'm completely lost.

[Scarlett67]

:confused: Um, yeah, OK, ha ha, you got us. Now can you tell us the punchline already?

[Geobabe]

Oh, all right, I'll have mercy. Anita is my sister, so I'm in on the backstory here. Kyle is 19, and ready, or at least thinks he's ready, and that's good enough, to go out into the world on his own. The timing of the move is somewhat coincidental, but worked out quite nicely. I'm sure they'll exchange addresses eventually.

[UncleBill]

I must have missed the relevant thread. Is there a link?Not EVERYTHING in life gets spelled out here on a messageboard, there is no relevant thread.

[ivylass]

Not EVERYTHING in life gets spelled out here on a messageboard, there is no relevant thread.

No. I absolutely refuse to believe that. SDMB is the source of all knowledge. There must be an explanation here somewhere. I just have to find it.....


















:D

[Kallessa]

Strange, my nephew did this to his parents. they went on a cruise, and when they got back, he'd moved to Sacramento and didn't leave an address--although that was mostly because he didn't know it until he got there, and besides, his sister knew where he was.

See, he's gotten a DUI as a senior in high school, so his parents decided not to pay his rent if he moved out his first year of college. He stayed at home under about the same constraints he had as a high school senior (curfew mainly). Well, he figured out this wasn't all that bad, especially when his folks eased up on him, and he didn't move out the next year, either. Or the next. He was still in school, so his parents didn't want to kick him out, and he wanted to quit school, just work and move in with friends, something his parents thought was a bad idea. So when he brought it up, they talked him out of it. Until they went on vacation and he up and did it. In a town 300 miles from them. Caused quite a stir when they got home and he wasn't there.

It turned out okay, he never went back to college, but he manages a golf course now and is PGA certified--I think he did it just to prove to his folks he could be successful without college.


Oh, and they know where he lives now.

[Larry Mudd]

Ha!

Anyone who thinks this was mean in any way has never been a young adult male.

"Cool! I have the house to myself for the rest of the month!"

Class, Anita. I wish I could have seen his face. :D

[«Ðëëp¤F®ïêd»™]

I don't get it. :confused:

Most 19yo's are full of crap sometimes. So he is being a jerk? You just up and take off on him?

This doesn't make sense.

If he deserved this kind of treatment I wish you would clue us in...

[John Carter of Mars]

<snip> I'm sure they'll exchange addresses eventually.

No, NO, NO!

Anita Vacation has already been assigned Legendary Super HeroTM status around here. There are many of us worshiping at a hastily constructed alter devoted to her, and there are plans being made to buy lots of beer and construct a more elaborate structure to glorify her. This should be in place by midnight or daylight, depending.

Please don't demean our new idol with talk of an address exchange.

[Ghanima]

This happened to my father. He was about 19, going to CSU and went to California for a short visit to check out schools that he was thinking of attending over the summer. When he returned, his mother had put one of his brothers in a boy's home, taken his sister and left. His house was empty, and he ended up staying with an aunt and uncle until the end of the semester. It actually took him a while to find the rest of his family.
It added more fucked-upness to his already pretty fucked-up view of women. My mother used to say that if it weren't for my dad's grandmother, he would hate women altogether.
So I have to say, I don't really find your post funny. I realize your situation is probably not the same, but still, you are laughing about something that really has had really fucked-up repercussions in my family to this day, affecting several generations. I hope this is not the case for your family.

[Ethilrist]

Ha!

Anyone who thinks this was mean in any way has never been a young adult male.

"Cool! I have the house to myself for the rest of the month!"

Class, Anita. I wish I could have seen his face. :D
Home Alone, anybody? Only with parties.

[Geobabe]

No, NO, NO!

Anita Vacation has already been assigned Legendary Super HeroTM status around here. There are many of us worshiping at a hastily constructed alter devoted to her, and there are plans being made to buy lots of beer and construct a more elaborate structure to glorify her. This should be in place by midnight or daylight, depending.

Please don't demean our new idol with talk of an address exchange.Oh, I didn't mean soon, I meant, like, maybe after he gets married or something.

[Anita Vacation]

Ghanima, I'm sorry about your family history. This OP was meant to be light-hearted.
To the other posters who have expressed concern, please do not worry. Note that he and I both have each others cell phone numbers. Also, he and I both know where the other works, so we are able to find the other if we so desire. We just don't have that desire yet.

Anyone feeling sorry for the young man have misplaced their sympathy: If he hadn't been at the beach, he would have had to help me move. He was getting a tan while I lugged boxes, the rat!

But every word of the OP was true - I have witnesses: RTFirefly, Ultrafilter and Huggybear helped me move and can attest to the fact that I said "The stuff in that room is the kid's. Leave it!" And it's true that he doesn't know where I live now, only that I'm still in the area. (Which reminds me, it's outside the beltway. I'll have to change my location.)

To those who revel with me in my coup, thank ya, thankyaverymuch!

[psycat90]

I think that's great.

I don't understand why people are so upset about it.

He's 19. He's an adult and should be able to take care of himself, and if he can't, he'd better start right quick.


Good for you Anita.

[Eve]

Unless Kyle Vacation is a total repetitive screw-up and/or dangerous, I'm going with "inexcusable" here. I hope you never hear from him again. If my parents ever did that to me (though my parents never would have), I would start my life over, write them off and hope to my lucky stars that I would never see them or hear from them again, and good riddance.

Are you going to tell us what an unforgivable fuck-up your kid is, so we can at least have some sympathy for you?

[Lute Skywatcher]

No, really! When he came home, the house was empty except for his clothes and bed. I didn’t tell him my new address; I swear, I’m not making this up!

It can be done, folks.Oh, I know. My parents did the same thing while my 20-year-old brother was off in Europe. He found us anyway, unfortunately.

[Jonathan Chance]

So is this why you won't be coming to the party?

You're on the run?

[Syntropy]

I don't feel sorry for the young man, as such. Having helped raise two step daughters and currently going through the throes of teenagerhood with my oldest, I understand the frustration and the appeal of up and leaving. But.... he isn't the one who's supposed to be teaching you how to be an adult. It's the other way around. And up and leaving, thinking "This'll teach him good! Now he'll learn!" Just doesn't seem to be the way to do it. He's not gonna thank you for this. Not even when he's thirty and fully capable of supporting himself.

[twickster]

I think it would help if you'd clarify one point -- did your son leave for the beach with the expectation that you'd be there when he got back? Had there been discussion of you and he parting ways?

[Scarlett67]

Yeah, what Eve said. There just seems to be a little too much glee at having "dumped" the kid. If this were truly a "tough love" situation, or an escape from threatening or illegal behavior, I would think there would be at least some regret. On the other hand, the disappearing act in retaliation for "He's got a smart mouth and an attitude and he went to the beach instead of helping us move, the rat!" seems mighty harsh.

Add to that the coy withholding of details, despite requests for same, and then telling us "you don't know the situation, so don't criticize," and this whole thread just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

[Shadez]

Anyone feeling sorry for the young man have misplaced their sympathy: If he hadn't been at the beach, he would have had to help me move. He was getting a tan while I lugged boxes, the rat!

I'm confused. You moved. Does that mean he has to move to? Like, he has 2 days to get all his crap together before the house is officially sold, or what have you really dumped on this kid?

[UrbanChic]

I'm with Eve. Were you renting your other place? Will your son now assume the lease? If he cannot, how long does he have to move?

What the OP did sounds positively awful and the complete opposite of funny. If that means I have no sense of humor, then so be it.

[OpalCat]

I think that some things need to be said here... like... he knew she was moving and it's been in the plans and discussions for months now? It's not like she just snuck off in the night out of the blue or something.

I could be wrong here, but I think that Anita is just playing lightheartedly with the fact that her son hasn't asked for her new address or seen her new place yet.

[BMalion]

Anita, this thread reads like a private in-joke between you and a couple of your pals. No offense intended but if you never cough up the details and only reply with flippant one-liners, everyone will think you are a jerk of a mom.

Disclosure - I am the parent of a highly-troubled 17 year old and these threads always pique my curiosity, so I open them. But this one is on the level of a 3 year old's "Guess what - what? - that's what!" game.

[psycat90]

I don't feel sorry He's not gonna thank you for this. Not even when he's thirty and fully capable of supporting himself.

I don't know about that.

When I was almost 18, my mother moved out of her house, and put it up on the market to sell. She paid the bills and the mortgage, but I seldom saw her.

She moved to another town, 15 miles away.

I had a 2 year old son. I was left to take care of myself and him, as I should have been.

The house sold a month after my 18th birthday, and I was left to find an apartment.

I thank my mother in my mind nearly every day for that. I had to do what I had to do. Sink or swim. I have issues with my mother, but not one of them is based on her expecting me to take care of myself and my own child.

I see adult children struggling all the time when their parents try to ween them into their 20's and up.

I think it makes them expect to be taken care of by someone. Bottom line, unless you are very fortunate, no one is going to take care of you except yourself.

I don't know the back story, but I can imagine it. And honestly, it doesn't matter, he's an adult. She didn't abandon him, he has her cell #. She's still his mother, she still loves him. What is so awful and evil about expecting an adult to make their own way in life? I don't get it.

I'm fast approaching a similar situation with my own son, who will be 18 in March. I won't be moving out, and I won't literally toss him out on the street, but the boy will be working and/or going to school, and paying rent, and doing chores, and obeying house rules, or he'll be looking for someplace else to live.

[Ferret Herder]

Judging by Geobabe's remarks of
Oh, all right, I'll have mercy. Anita is my sister, so I'm in on the backstory here. Kyle is 19, and ready, or at least thinks he's ready, and that's good enough, to go out into the world on his own. The timing of the move is somewhat coincidental, but worked out quite nicely. I'm sure they'll exchange addresses eventually.
And not to mention the follow-up several posts up by Anita Vacation, my assessment was that he went on vacation at a beach instead of helping her move in a planned move that he knew about, and he simply doesn't have her new address yet. Maybe I'm dense or something?

[Batsinma Belfry]

My father kind of did the same thing to me. He sent me away to a private boarding school when I was 16, that he could barely afford. My sister was married and moved away, my mom was living 80 miles away in a semi- nursing home. When I went home for Christmas break, there was a "For Sale" sign in the front yard. He had sold our furniture to an auction place and put everything else in storage. He'd even GIVEN my dog to the people who owned the auction place. And he had moved across town to a 1 bedroom apartment. The only reason he wanted me to come home, was so I could let the auction people in to get the furniture. After the furniture was gone, he let me sleep on the couch at his apartment until the end of Christmas break.

[Agent Cooper]

I agree with Scarlet about the witholding of details. Mainly, "What did he do to deserve that?" Makes me assume there is something you are afraid to admit.

On the one hand, he is an adult, you raised him this far, and that fulfills your end of the deal. On the other, most parent's like to think they'll have a loving relationship whith their adult children. I'd say you don't seem to be in that category. If that's your position, well more power to ya. But if you think he will take this as "Boy, I should have asked mom before I went to the beach! She sure knows best. I should be more helpful to my family." ... I hope you have another thing coming.

I hope the kid takes his own life in his own direction. If my parents did that to me... the hell if I would ever have contacted them again.

[Rufus Xavier]

"Guess what - what? - that's what!"[/i] game.

In my house (which contains no 19-year-olds nor 3-year-olds), it's:

"Guess what?"
"What?"
"Chicken butt!!"

:D

[ultrafilter]

I think that some things need to be said here... like... he knew she was moving and it's been in the plans and discussions for months now? It's not like she just snuck off in the night out of the blue or something.

I could be wrong here, but I think that Anita is just playing lightheartedly with the fact that her son hasn't asked for her new address or seen her new place yet.

What she said. Y'all are a little quick to assume the worst.

[Anita Vacation]

I'm not surprised that some people don't this the idea is funny, rather, I'm glad that this warm, helpful community is jumping to make sure my son is OK.

Explaining all the details does ruin the humorous element of this OP, but since caring individuals seem to think that I'm guilty of neglegence, I will put your minds at ease.

My son is a good guy. I love him, he loves me. About three months ago I was discussing the future with him and he said that he would prefer to live with friends. I thought it was financially ill advised but said that it was his decision. I put a contract on a condo and asked him if he was interested in seeing the place. His lack of interest was impressive.

The date of my move was up in the air when he made plans to go to the beach. When he drove away, he knew that I'd be gone when he came back. He has since moved in with friends and he and I have talked on the phone. He still doesn't know where I live because he hasn't needed me yet. He has a job, he is responsible for himself, and for this, I'm proud of him.

[Eve]

When he drove away, he knew that I'd be gone when he came back.

OK, well, that's the huge missing piece of the puzzle I needed to hear!

[Anita Vacation]

I'm not surprised that some people don't this the idea is funny
"some people don't think this idea is funny"
Stupid fingers :::grumble grumble::

[BMalion]

Yup, I was right, pointless and mundane. Good forum choice.

[Spectre of Pithecanthropus]

I'm My son is a good guy. I love him, he loves me. About three months ago I was discussing the future with him and he said that he would prefer to live with friends.
<<snip>>

He has a job, he is responsible for himself, and for this, I'm proud of him.

It's a relief to hear this. It sounds like this is more or less amicable, and that your son is more self-sufficient than most 19-year-olds. certainly more than I was!.

[«Ðëëp¤F®ïêd»™]

Okie doke. Thanks for the clarification.

[Scarlett67]

Fair enough. I'll work on shaking off my pique at how the story was presented.

[TeaElle]

I'll be over with Scarlett in the pique-shaking area.

There is nothing in the world more obnoxious than someone trying to spin a complete piffle of a non-story into some scenario which makes them look like a badass when in fact, they're just a halfass. There was no point in posting this except self-aggrandizement.

[OpalCat]

Except, you know, to be funny. Some of us got a chuckle out of it. If you knew Anita you would have known that it had to have been a joke as she isn't a mean person and she has a good relationship with her kid.

[ultrafilter]

Except, you know, to be funny. Some of us got a chuckle out of it. If you knew Anita you would have known that it had to have been a joke as she isn't a mean person and she has a good relationship with her kid.

But how many people here know Anita, or could reasonably be expected to?

I think that there's a tendency for people here to forget that just anyone can read what's posted here, and that most people who read what's posted don't know much about the poster. This is a tight-knit community, but it's an open community, and it's important to remember that when you're starting threads where a joke depends on what people know about you.

Mind you, I still don't like how quick people were to assume the worst, but I can understand why they might.

[Ethilrist]

There was no point in posting this except self-aggrandizement.
Yeah, this was pretty mundane, pointless stuff. Too bad she felt she must share it with us. :wally

[Kallessa]

Oh come on! I recognized Anita's name, but that was it, and I got the tone of the OP right off the bat. It was obviously a lighthearted "one less or maybe even the last kid out of the house, yipee" post, with nothing to indicate that either party was mortally wounded by the situation. The "cool" smilie alone should have been a clue, let alone all the exclamation marks!

[RTFirefly]

More backstory, if it helps: Anita had wandered into that netherworld of having a son who had graduated from high school, wasn't interested in college, but was still living at home, with mother and son getting on each other's nerves.

In a less affluent area than the DC burbs, it would be a lot easier for son to get a place of his own on his pay from the sorts of unskilled jobs he's qualified for, hence a lot easier for mom to give son 30 days to find a place of his own and move out, or else find his stuff on the sidewalk. Maureen rightly points out, "But.... he isn't the one who's supposed to be teaching you how to be an adult. It's the other way around," and in a city where a young guy can find ways to scrape by on minimum wage, this is how the teaching would be done, if it came to that.

(How do you teach your kid to go out on his own, these days? I remember being the kid who didn't know what to do with that shiny college diploma, and decades later I'm still not sure exactly what my parents were supposed to do to help me know how to use it to become an adult. Other than discourage me from continuing to stay under their roof. Ultimately, we have to teach ourselves to become adults, IMHO.)

At any rate, Kyle (who had been doing a bang-up job playing the prototypical uncommunicative 19 year old, around mom at least) had known Anita's move from her rented duplex to her new condo was coming up, had been making noises about moving in with some friends but had been less than clear about it (but had indicated that he wasn't going to come along to the new place), had refused all maternal help in finding a place of his own (IIRC), had been spending increasing numbers of nights away from Anita's without entirely moving out (or moving his stuff out at all), and...well, if you're the mom, how exactly do you get some closure here? Is this business going to just drag out indefinitely somehow, or what?

Apparently we have closure. Kyle seems to have landed somewhere else, and is attempting to make it without Mom's help. This is good for all concerned. Understandably, Anita was reluctant to force the deal, but at least her move created a situation that made Kyle choose to get out for real. But it wasn't a given that it would play out that way. Hence Anita's relief.

There are no rules for this. There is no parents' manual that tells you how best to push your child out of the nest when he needs to be out, but it isn't clear how he's going to make it on his own. So when one stage of it somehow just works out, I think a parent is entitled to feelings of relief, and even celebration. And I think that's what Anita was trying to express here.

[Green Cymbeline]

I'll also vouch for Anita being a great mom. She obviously has much love for her son, but in typical 19-year-old fashion, he shuns it. He knew she was moving; he said he was moving too, but never communicated any details nor asked Anita for details. Anita has gone totally all out for this boy, and he seems ungrateful, IMO, and he seems to want to just be left alone. So what else can she do? He has his freedom now, and so does she. She deserves some "me" time, for real.

[John Carter of Mars]

Jokes in this vein are common among people who have:
1) Teenage children at home.
2) Parents/Grandparents that have reached a certain stage.

A common question would be: "If I sell my house, will I have enough equity left to buy a one-way ticket to New Zealand?" There are a thousand variations thereof, but nobody really means it, it's just a way to blow off some frustration. I guess if you're not routinely faced with these circumstances, you're not so likely to pick up on the joke.

Anyways, we're still building the altar to Anita Vacation tonight. We're going to try to top the thing off with a statue that mimics Venus de Milo, except she'll arms and stuff. Come on down, relax and pop some lids with us!

[CrazyCatLady]

Oh, for heaven's sake, you people are acting like she was gloating about really levaing her 10 year old behind at a gas station on a road trip.

It says right there in plain sight that he's a grown man, and that he has the means to get in touch with her if he wants or needs to via her cell phone. If he was all that active a part of her life, he'd know she was moving--it's not like you can find a place and pack everything up and move it overnight. If he somehow wasn't aware that she was moving, despite piddly details like her packing, there's a lot more wrong in the relationship than her moving out without a forwarding address.

Besides, it was pretty obvious that the whole thing was a play on the old joke about the parents wanting their own apartment away from the kids. Sheesh.

[picunurse]

Birds shove their young adult offspring out of the nests. Bears and tigers abandon theirs. We should be able to do the same! Kids don't know they're grown, Anita just told him. "You're an adult now, go act like it."
When my husband was 17, he came home from school one day to a motorhome in the driveway and mom furiously packing it.
She told him "We're leaving for a couple years, you're in charge. We'll pay the bills. We'll let you know (eventually) where we are."
They ran away from home!
He loved it ! How could he not?!?

[NinetyWt]

"Guess what?"
"What?"
"Chicken butt!!"


You forgot the rest:

"You know why ??? ""


"CHICKEN THIGH !!!! "

[OpalCat]

But how many people here know Anita, or could reasonably be expected to?

Given the tone of the post, however, and given that it was quickly clear that the people who do know her were finding it funny, most people with an ounce of sense should have been able to figure out that it was a joke.

[pyrrthon1]

Go you! Believe it or not, there are three people working in this office today, and two of us were talking about how to pull something like this off.

Thanks for the clue. :cool:

I know this is all a joke, but why do people like you even bother having kids?

[Ghanima]

OK I can see this train is about to jump the tracks, but I have to say that for those of us who are not *in the know* it was not obvious at all. I certainly enjoy a good joke but it wasn't clear for a while what exactly happened.

So please don't go insulting people for not personally knowing Anita or who her friends are. If the situation was made clear in the first place, I don't think there would have been nearly as many posts wondering what in the hell was going on or why the OP was funny.

Commence train wreck.

[pyrrthon1]

OK I can see this train is about to jump the tracks, but I have to say that for those of us who are not *in the know* it was not obvious at all. I certainly enjoy a good joke but it wasn't clear for a while what exactly happened.

.

Oh I know it's a joke, but thing is....it isn't really.

[FairyChatMom]

I know this is all a joke, but why do people like you even bother having kids?Let me understand this then - if we make jokes about our kids, we shouldn't have even bothered to have them??

Guess I shouldn't say how my husband and I moved 800 miles away from our only daughter and she's just 18. Not only that - we left the dog with her!!!

Seriously. She didn't want to leave Florida, and she'll be starting college next month, and since we've been living on our boat, we don't have room for the dog... Aw, forget it. No way I can make that funny, and apparently I shouldn't...

Anita, FWIW, I got a chuckle from your OP, moreso because my daughter lives 800 miles from your son, so I don't have to worry about an accidental meeting between them... :p

:D

[pyrrthon1]

Let me understand this then - if we make jokes about our kids, we shouldn't have even bothered to have them??

Guess I shouldn't say how my husband and I moved 800 miles away from our only daughter and she's just 18. Not only that - we left the dog with her!!!

Seriously. She didn't want to leave Florida, and she'll be starting college next month, and since we've been living on our boat, we don't have room for the dog... Aw, forget it. No way I can make that funny, and apparently I shouldn't...

Anita, FWIW, I got a chuckle from your OP, moreso because my daughter lives 800 miles from your son, so I don't have to worry about an accidental meeting between them... :p

:D

Fair enough. Maybe I took it too personally. My parents used to joke with their friends (in front of me) how they wanted to move one day while I was at school. Guess how often I visit them?

[Shaolinrabbit]

For the record, I don't know any of these people and I got it right off the bat from the OP. I'm not psychic or anything either. I think at some point you need to accept that it's time to get out a bit more and interact with people, otherwise you miss complex social cues like smilies and winks and replies to the OP.

Seriously, common social cues to humor include laughing, joking, smiling and winking. If you're still unsure whether a joke hs been told, look at the people around you for the following signs of humor: Laughing, high fives, winking, and smiling. If you are ever in the midst of such a crowd, it can be safely assumed that there has been humor.

Humor: that quality which appeals to a sense of the ludicrous or absurdly incongruous. The mental faculty of discovering, expressing, or appreciating the ludicrous or absurdly incongruous. Something that is or is designed to be comical or amusing. Definition courtesy of Merriam Webster

Humor is a very subjective thing, but the fact that something horrible has happened to someone somewhere does not mean that there is no longer humor in the subject matter. If it did, we'd never laugh at anything. Humor can be found in any subject if you look, even racism, and the holocaust. Fans of Mel Brooks are already familiar with this concept. Ever seen someone make a popular joke about rape? Sure you have, if you've ever seen a comedy about prison. There's a rape joke in every prison comedy I've ever seen.

Sometimes we laugh at the most horrible aspects of ourselves and our history. It's a common bond, and it takes power from painful events. Everyone can't do it of course, but that doesn't mean that there isn't humor there, or that no one should laugh.

Maybe I'm a cold callous individual because I enjoy Mel Brooks films, or because I often laugh at things that other people wouldn't. Who knows? But it's served me well so far, and I enjoy finding humor, even in my own painful experiences.

[Shaolinrabbit]

Fair enough. Maybe I took it too personally. My parents used to joke with their friends (in front of me) how they wanted to move one day while I was at school. Guess how often I visit them?

I'm assuming they weren't actually joking then, or that you felt they were serious on some level. My father's favorite joke was that he'd gotten me a scholarship to an orphanage. I'd heard it thousands of times, from childhood, and always found him to be a warm and loving father. He remained my best friend until the day that he died.

Because it was a joke. If was was truly a joke, it was meant to be humorous, and therefore, not harmful to me in any way. I'm not making fun of your pain here, but there must have been bad blood besides a simple one liner.

[AbbySthrnAccent]

OK I can see this train is about to jump the tracks, but I have to say that for those of us who are not *in the know* it was not obvious at all.

I was not "in the know" and I knew it was a joke from the tone of the op.

[danceswithcats]

Darnit, Anita. Had I not had the picnic on Saturday til the wee hours, we could have been really inventive!

I'm envisioning putting all of Kyle's stuff in the attic or someplace else, and leaving a t-shirt which reads:

MOM SOLD ALL OF MY STUFF ON EBAY, THEN MOVED AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT

[SandyHook]

When we left Green River, Wyoming to move to Laramie Ms Hook was worried about breaking the news to the little Little Hook. I told her I'd take care of it.

Throwing my arm over his shoulder and hugging him to my side I said, "Well, son if you're ever passing through Laramie, hell, stop and see us."

[START]

No, really! When he came home, the house was empty except for his clothes and bed. I didn’t tell him my new address; I swear, I’m not making this up!

It can be done, folks. This is the stuff of legend, and I’m proud to say I pulled it off! :cool:

What a mean thing to do...he is never going to talk to you again :(

[yosemite]

START, it's sometimes advisable to read the entire thread, not just the OP, before responding. ;)

Count me in as another person who was not "in the know" who also figured that it had to be a joke. I wasn't sure, but I kept on reading to get more info, because it just didn't make sense for it to be flat-out serious.

[leafrog]

START, it's always a good idea to read the whole thread before responding.


And for what it's worth, I could tell from the OP that Anita was goofing.

And didn't we hear the story of Kyle's trip to climb Kilamanjaro last year?

[Kat]

Er...START? Have you bothered to read the thread? It was a joke. He knew she was moving, and that she would be gone when he returned; he was moving out as well. They've talked on their cell phones since, even.

[leafrog]

Jinx, owe me a coke.

[John Carter of Mars]

I know this is all a joke, but why do people like you even bother having kids?

If you know it's a joke, why did you find it necessary to make a snarky remark?

[START]

Er...START? Have you bothered to read the thread? It was a joke. He knew she was moving, and that she would be gone when he returned; he was moving out as well. They've talked on their cell phones since, even.

Duuuuuuuuuuh...I seriously didn't get it and I read the whole OP but that makes sense now...at first I was thinking what a mean mother :smack:

[RingOfFire]

The date of my move was up in the air when he made plans to go to the beach. When he drove away, he knew that I'd be gone when he came back.

So which was it? Did you sneak away or did he know? :confused:

Though from your tone I wish your son the best. He'll be a lot better off on his own :wally

[Shaolinrabbit]

So which was it? Did you sneak away or did he know? :confused:


You must be kidding ;)


The date of my move was up in the air when he made plans to go to the beach.


This means that he made plans to go to the beach at some indefinite time in the past.


When he drove away, he knew that I'd be gone when he came back.

This means that at the present time, he was aware of the move.

These two concepts put together would state that at someindefinite time in the past, when the date of the move had not been set, her son made plans to go to the beach. At the present time, or rather in the slight past, she set the date for the move, and because it conflicted with teh previously made plans to go to the beach, her son was aware of the move, but went anyways. He therefore knew when he left for the beach, that his Mom would be moved when he got back.

[Anita Vacation]

And didn't we hear the story of Kyle's trip to climb Kilamanjaro last year?
leafrog, you're so sweet to remember that! Yes he climbed with my seventysomething-year-old mother. He was seventeen at the time.

My heart is warmed, and my faith in SDMB has been renewed. I left my office at 5:15 and after seeing how humorless this thread had become I'm now cheered to find that many people did find amusement in my OP.

I want to state a number of things for the record:

-The original OP was written in a style that I hoped would be amusing to anyone who has teenagers in the house. I never thought that a reader would have to have inside information to enjoy the joke. Let's look at it again:
No, really! When he came home, the house was empty except for his clothes and bed. I didn’t tell him my new address; I swear, I’m not making this up!

It can be done, folks. This is the stuff of legend, and I’m proud to say I pulled it off! :cool:
-I was trying to be as obvious as possible and still retain some humor.
"No, really!"
"I swear, I'm not making this up!"
"It can be done, folks."
"This is the stuff of legend"
Come on now, if I had dumped my kid, if he was a "a pedophile drug addict" or even just "an unforgivable fuck-up", would I have posted that kind of OP? I don't think you need the back-story to recognize that a mother in that kind of trouble would have posted in the Pit to vent, or in IMHO to get some advice.

I'm sorry that a few people didn't get the joke.

Shaolinrabbit, you are wise beyond your years, or behind your ears, either way: Thank you for your post. Also my thanks go to everyone who chimed in that my humor wasn't so obscure as to be lost completely.

Anyone else who dreams of having the house to themselves can email me for pointers. I'm going to see if I can get this thread closed now.

[Shaolinrabbit]

Shaolinrabbit, you are wise beyond your years, or behind your ears, either way: Thank you for your post.


:D I'm no Wittgenstein, but I'm going to compensate by learning to surf.

[Triskadecamus]

Right after I graduated from High School, my parents sold our house, and moved away. The contract to sell had about a ninety day lag time, and since I had a job in the area, and did not plan to leave for school, I told my parents I would rather stay in the old house, until I moved to college. They said fine, but I had to be out by the last day of August, because a cleaning crew would show up and throw out anything that was still in the house, bright and early on September the first.

I lived there all summer. No parties and I didn't mention it to my friends.

Until . . . August 31st. I was at a friends house, he asked if I wanted to do something, and I said I needed to go home and change clothes. I suggested he drive. He agreed, and we picked up a friend along the way. I walked into the house, with them, and called out, "Mom?" They were aghast. Especially when they saw the note my mom had left, giving the date the cleaners would come. (I had left it in place.)

It was such a great gag! No one had noticed that all my clothes and personal stuff were packed up in the car, ready to leave the next day for school. Nothing in my room but a bed, some sheets, and lamp. I said, "Oh well, fuck the bed." Picked up the lamp, and walked out.

My friends were so pissed when I told them I had been living in the empty house for the two and a half months.

Tris

[pyrrthon1]

If you know it's a joke, why did you find it necessary to make a snarky remark?


Because sometimes (almost always) jokes bespeak true feelings.

[OtakuLoki]

Anita, you think you're slick? I went to boot camp and my parents sold the house, and moved on me. :D

(Well, I did get an change of address form, but it floored my CC when he was ranting about 'you can't go home' and I started smirking.)

[Otto]

This happened to someone I knew in college. He went home after the spring semester to discover that his parents had moved without telling him.

He went to his grandmother's place to get the address and she refused to tell him until he mowed the lawn.

[OpalCat]

Because sometimes (almost always) jokes bespeak true feelings.
Even if that were true, who are you to say what the true feelings are and interpret them? Anita is one of my best friends and I know both her and her son. I can tell you for certain that the "true feelings" here are that she found it humorous that her situation (moving while her son was out of town, and he hadn't seen the new place yet, though he knew she had bought it and knew she was moving that day) could be stated in a way that sounded like the cliché of the parents running off without letting the kids know. This sort of humor is common around here and I have no idea why it seems to have backfired on this particular occasion. To me it's similar to things like the time I told everyone that I'd gotten into Anita's pants and slept in her bed the night before. I stated it like that, and it was the absolute, literal truth. See, I'd spent the night at her house and slept in her guest room (she owns the bed, so it's her bed) and I'd borrowed a pair of her pants to wear, so I was in her pants. But it was much funnier to word it in a way that made it sound like something else. Of course, the full explanation was forthcoming, as it was in this case. The need for so many to read something sinister into things, rather than picking up on cues (smileys and so on, and the reactions of the people who knowher) is very disturbing. What ever happened to the benefit of the doubt?

[SkeptiJess]

I don't know Anita, but I got the gag. I just don't think someone who did this in a bad way (and apparently that does happen), would have posted it so cheerily on a message board -- so I assumed that there was a backstory and deduced more-or-less what the backstory was.

But then, I have an 18 year old son. Believe me, if you're raising teenagers, you gotta have a sense of humor. For example, some of you know that my son is going to summer school to graduate early (he'll be graduating next month, during what would have been the summer between his junior and senior years) and enlisting the Navy -- I started a couple of threads about it during the winter. Yet, when speaking to people I often joke about how "we took him down to the recruiters and signed him up."

[SkeptiJess]

Dammit! If some kind Mod would fix my coding, I'd really appreciate it!

[Geobabe]

Because sometimes (almost always) jokes bespeak true feelings.Sometimes, definitely, but definitely not almost always. A lot of jokes are funny because they're the opposite of the truth. For example, I will frequently makes jokes with my husband like, "No, I don't remember that conversation. You must have been talking to your girlfriend about that." I don't for one second think that he would actually cheat on me, and that's why it's funny.

[AbbySthrnAccent]

Sometimes, definitely, but definitely not almost always. A lot of jokes are funny because they're the opposite of the truth. For example, I will frequently makes jokes with my husband like, "No, I don't remember that conversation. You must have been talking to your girlfriend about that." I don't for one second think that he would actually cheat on me, and that's why it's funny.

I do this too. Even leaving messages for him now and then at work when a new person answers his office phone for him to call his girlfriend on her cel. Charmingly enough he always knows just who to call. :D

[Anita Vacation]

Because sometimes (almost always) jokes bespeak true feelings.
Absolutely; there is a little truth in all role playing. In this case, the truth is that I'm in heaven living on my own again for the first time in twenty years! The fact that I moved out while he was out of town was icing on the cake. He made the decision to move in with friends a while back, and since then, he has treated my suggestions with disdain and has turn his nose up at my offers to help him. He is a confident teenager who thinks he knows what to expect when he gets out on his own, and for all I know, he might actually know how hard it's going to be. After all, the friend who he has moved in with is a year older and is living on his own, working two jobs to pay the rent. Kyle's not blind. He has just decided that he doesn't want his mom for a roommate anymore. I wish him luck, and have left the door open if he wants to live with me and go to college.



I don't know Anita
But we have met: At RTFirefly's going away cookout for the Bluesclan!

[SkeptiJess]

But we have met: At RTFirefly's going away cookout for the Bluesclan!Well, yes, I should have specified. I meant that, while we've met, I don't know you as a mom, or know anything about your relationship with your boy -- we didn't talk about our kids when we met. But I was just in a hurry to get on to my own story, so I used an abbreviated version.

Really.

Red-faced Jess (who really does remember meeting you know that you reminded her :D )

[sperfur]

I read the OP, got the humor and laughed.

It surprises me sometimes when these things take a turn like this one did. Of course you didn't abandon your child! Of course there had to be backstory here.

Please don't let the snark put you off telling funnies in the future! I enjoy them.

[Mighty_Girl]

Too many humor-impaired people in this thread. I suspected it was a joke from start, just the wording did it.

I remember when I was a kids my mom's favorite threat used to be "someday you'll come back from school and won't find me here". Funny thing is now I think that we actually deserved it.

[Miller]

I'm not a parent, I don't know Anita, and I don't think I've ever seen one of her posts before. And I still got that it was a joke right off that bat.

I mean... how can you not? :confused:

[Searching For Truth]

Being a college student who is living with my parents for the summer, before I return to school in the fall, the idea of my parents shipping out on me one day sounds kind of like everybody's nightmare and fantasy all rolled into one. I still rely on my parents for financial support for what my job and my scholarships can't pay for, but I love feeling independent by living in a city 100 miles away from them during the school year and operating on my own for the most part. Very liberating.

I really enjoyed Triskadecamus's story, too. Thanks for sharing!

[Caprese]

As the mother of a 21 year old college student home for the summer, and also as an ex-college student, I agree with Searching For Truth's fantasy/nightmare opinion.
I dunno, didn't think it was that funny at first, but then began giggling.
When soon school rolls back around, I'll miss the kid, but neither the laundry nor the dirty dishes. :)

[lissener]

Everyone here comes from a different family. Some of you are reacting with horror; had this happend in your family, it might well have been horrible. I am from a family where this kind of thing needs to happen. Coming from such a family, I can more readily imagine a situation in which I'd cheer Anita on for her actions; those of you with different experiences should acknowledge those differences rather than slam her.

[lissener]

You forgot the rest:

"You know why ??? ""


"CHICKEN THIGH !!!! "
Guess where? Chicken hair!

[Batsinma Belfry]

I just want to say that I thought the OP was funny. My earlier post was just a memory triggered by the OP.

[Kallessa]

Guess where? Chicken hair!


Chicken hair? No, chicken's bare!

[presidebt]

He went to his grandmother's place to get the address and she refused to tell him until he mowed the lawn.

I'll probably be labelled a soulless git for this, but I find this hilarious!

I said, "Oh well, fuck the bed." Picked up the lamp, and walked out.


This too. Brilliant, Tris! Thanks for sharing these stories. :)

[presidebt]

In my house (which contains no 19-year-olds nor 3-year-olds), it's:

"Guess what?"
"What?"
"Chicken butt!!"

:D

You forgot, "Pull the string and eat the gut!" :D

[Den Mum]

Quote from TeaElle

There is nothing in the world more obnoxious than someone trying to spin a complete piffle of a non-story into some scenario which makes them look like a badass when in fact, they're just a halfass. There was no point in posting this except self-aggrandizement

Come on, you have just described a largest percentage of the threads on SDMB!!

I am rather new the the boards but I recognized Anita's post as a light hearted one and assumed there was a backstory. My frustration was that even after Aunt Geobabe gave the backstory ... we still got the outraged & angry posts. I enjoyed Anita's post. It brought me back to my daughter's venture out of the nest at 19 yrs old. I was self employed, very busy and away from home a lot anyway so we really weren't getting into each other's hair but she decided it was time for her own apartment. She was working her way through college,(very independent ... wouldn't allow anyone to help her financially!) had three parttime jobs and thought she could handle an apartment too. Darned if she didn't do just fine. I would sneak groceries over occasionally, buy her a tank of gas when I knew she was getting broke and we remained best friends..then and now!

I feel certain that Anita has a good relationship with her son and he probably thinks she is cool for allowing him the freedom to go be "grownup".

[xcheopis]

There is nothing in the world more obnoxious than someone trying to spin a complete piffle of a non-story into some scenario which makes them look like a badass when in fact, they're just a halfass. There was no point in posting this except self-aggrandizement.
I'd say someone getting their panties bunched around their neck tight enough to cut off oxygen over what was obviously (even to those of us who don't know Anita a cute joke is far and away more obnoxious.

Trying to "spin a complete piffle of a non-story" into an excuse for self-righteous indignation and then failing is just sad.

[Coldfire]

Closed at the request of the OP.