Which presidential candidate would win in a *physical* fight?

[FlippyFly]

In this corner, from Texas....

Bush vs. Kerry in a physical fight. Who would win?

What if we throw in the running mates, in a tag team match?

And for the grand finish, lets do a four way battle royal, and I will let Bush and Cheney come in on horses with lassos (Texans, you know?) and, well, I'll give Kerry and Edwards well, lets see, how about I let them come in on a motercycle with a side car?

Your opinion please.

[Coldfire]

Off to IMHO.

As for my opinion... no idea. If it's a tag team match, then Kerry and Edwards win for sure. Cheney will suffer cardiac arrest when he tries to climb into the ring, and GWB won't know where to punch unless either Dick or Condoleeza tells him. ;)

[lno]

Cheney will suffer cardiac arrest when he tries to climb into the ring, and GWB won't know where to punch unless either Dick or Condoleeza tells him. ;)Cardiac arrest, hell! He's gone in five times to have the ol' ticker replaced with upgraded models of a plutonium-based fusion energy cell that powers his mecha battlearmor. Just you wait, klompen-jochie, just you wait. ;)

[World Eater]

Yeah one punch in the heart would drop the vice, and then Edwards and Kerry could beat up George.

One on one though, I go with Bush. I can't picture Kerry beating anyone up.

[The Great Sun Jester]

Yeah, remember, Kerry has been decorated more frequently for getting HIT, not dishing out punishment.

Cheney's got that evil gaze that would make Rambo crap his bloomers, let's not underestimate the devil's powers!

One on one? Shrub & JoKer? There would be no fight: George wouldn't show up, and Kerry would be protesting the entire event.

[Exgineer]

Who would win? Who cares?

All I know is I'd pay good money to watch those two jackasses beat the crap out of each other.

[FlippyFly]

The only thing better would be a battle royal of the entire house of reps... THAT would be a site to see! Someone with Flash skills should make a short film.

[Laughing Lagomorph]

...
Cheney's got that evil gaze that would make Rambo crap his bloomers, let's not underestimate the devil's powers!
....



Yes, I suspect Cheney can use his power over the Dark Side to shoot Force lightning bolts out of his fingers...

[Annie]

Kerry shoulda picked Clark, I tellya.... :p

[aaslatten]

I don't think we've ever had two modern presidential candidates in such great shape before.

I'd give a slight edge to W, just because of his arrogance and cocky attitude.

[Miller]

I say Kerry. Kerry is a combat veteran. He's been under fire, and he's killed people. He's not going to be phased by anything Bush can throw at him.

Bush, on the other hand, has trouble subduing a pretzel.

Kerry by a knockout in round one.

[Abbie Carmichael]

A Texan vs. a Yankee mama's boy? Puhleze. Kerry would be running home crying after the first punch.

Edwards could most definitely kick the shit out of Cheney, though if they were the same age I think Dick could take him.

Bush vs. Edwards would be the most evenly matched fight, IMHO.


Laura Bush vs. Therezzzza? Laura would work her over so hard Teresa would lose her accent. Either that or Barbara Bush would show up and kick both their asses.

[Muad'Dib]

I know what Governor would win...

[Berserker]

Kerry, if he's prepared.

[Miller]

Edwards v. Cheney would be no contest: Cheney would slaughter Edwards. How do you stop the undead with your barehands?

Maybe if they give Edwards some garlic.

Laura Bush vs. Therezzzza? Laura would work her over so hard Teresa would lose her accent. Either that or Barbara Bush would show up and kick both their asses.

Oh, no doubt, Babs could take all comers. Theresa and Laura would end up with shivs in their kidneys.

[calm kiwi]

Bush is a ear biting, eye scratching, ball kicking type.

He would smile sweetly during the press conference announcing the death of his opposition. It was all justified after all.

[rjung]

Kerry over Bush, if only because Kerry has proven himself able to fight in a life-or-death situation (charging at a VC with an armed rocket launcher definitely qualifies).

Bush, like all bullies, will collapse like cheap lawn furniture once someone stands up to his assortment of dirty tricks.

[observer11]

A Texan vs. a Yankee mama's boy?
Bush was born in New Haven, Connecticut and graduated from the elite Phillips Andover Academy in Massachusetts before he entered Yale University, from which he went on to Harvard Business School. Bush and Kerry were at Yale at the same time. Bush is a Texas rancher like Chuck Norris is a Texas ranger.

As to the original question, Bush would win hands down--he'd jump out of an alley with a lead pipe while Kerry was answering one more question about how many lives he saved in Vietnam.

[Marley23]

If it's a twelve-round fight, I'll take Kerry by KO in the 9th. He's taller and has a longer reach. His jab would he'd keep Bush away while he racked up a big lead on the scorecards, forcing Bush to be come in and take chances. Finally, Kerry will put him down with his patented lefty hook.

[Clothahump]

Hell, this should be how the President is chosen, anyway.

On December 31, put all the candidates in a room, turn out the lights, throw a knife on the floor and lock the door. Survivor takes office in January.

[slortar]

Hell, this should be how the President is chosen, anyway.

On December 31, put all the candidates in a room, turn out the lights, throw a knife on the floor and lock the door. Survivor takes office in January.

"So, Presidential Race 2020 has just been come to a close. President Plisken, what do you have to say to the people of America?"

"DRAW."

[DanBlather]

As to the original question, Bush would win hands down--he'd jump out of an alley with a lead pipe.Yeah, but he'd attack the wrong person.

[Sam Stone]

Not only would Kerry win, but he'd get a purple heart for it. :cool:

[DanBlather]

Not only would Kerry win, but he'd get a purple heart for it. :cool:And the winner is! :)

[Annie-Xmas]

I know what Governor would win...

Please, please, please let Arnold run for President. Or Hillary Clinton--she would kick ass!

[The Great Zamboni]

Kerry/Edwards v. Bush/Cheney. Cheney would be the first to be knocked out. I think he is probably kind of weak. Bush would then grab Edwards, who seems to be kind of a wuss, and use him for a body shield as Kerry tries to punch him (Bush). Kerry would accidentally knock out his buddy, leaving Bush and Kerry together to pummel each other. Both are in great physical shape and they both would probably fight to a draw, but not before many broken bones and massive blood loss.

Thereza v. Laura would be one hot catfight! :) The usually meek, quiet Laura would show her true colors by catching fire and fighting to a quick draw with the bitchy Thereza.

[SteveG1]

Please, please, please let Arnold run for President. Or Hillary Clinton--she would kick ass!
Cool. We could have the Governator against Governor Jesse the Body. No more girly men for president (joking). At least, we'd see a decent fight. In Kerry vs Bush, I'd bet on Kerry. Bigger, stronger, longer reach. Let's make it a cage match.

[ITR champion]

Bush and Cheney could employ Saddam Hussein's strategy of dumping oil on the ground and setting it on fire. Ketchup, on the other hand, just isn't much good in combat situations.

[remisser]

I've had the pleasure of shaking hands with both candidates. Bush has a weak handshake, whilest Kerry has a good and firm handshake. Based soley on that, I'd say Kerry has the advantage in a fist fight. As for Edwards vs. Cheney, I'd give the edge to Edwards if he leans in on Cheney's weak side.