The SDMB Mommy's Group (Daddies Welcome!)

[fessie]

Guess the first order of business could be a debate over that singular possessive I chose :D .

Ok, got my caramel macchiatto, the babies have had their 6-minute naps (arrrgh!) & are playing somewhat contentedly, and I'm ready to start. My b/g twins are almost 7 months old. He's rolling over & scooting around, she just rolled over for the first time this week & doesn't seem in a hurry to repeat the experience.

Anybody else remember (or going through) this no-naps-for-me phase? I swear they used to sleep better, with just occasional difficulties; lately it's as if they've been sneaking sips of my coffee. Just sooo much energy! I'm don't really want to fight with them over it, I just lay them down when they fall asleep (usually after a feeding) and pick them back up when they bounce awake 6 minutes later. I take breaks from them while they play, it's the only "alone" time I get (besides that trip to Starbucks). Sometimes, if it's way out of control, I load them into the car; it never fails to put them to sleep & keep 'em there.

Had an interesting chat w/my Mom yesterday (she's turned out to be so supportive of my motherhood!). She's reading a book called Transitions; I don't know anything about it, but she was telling me the central point is that every new beginning actually starts with an ending, a cessation of the old. And I'm definitely feeling that, still, even after 7 months. It's getting easier, but I grieve for my old life at times.

So what's everybody else up to?

[dangermom]

Let's see, it's a busy Saturday morning for us. I got up early to do a bunch of much-needed yard work before the area I wanted to work on got sunny. I pulled huge weeds until my hands gave up, by which time I was quite muddy. Got the kids dressed and made boysenberry muffins and showered while they baked. Now the girls (ages 4 and 17 months) are playing and listening to the soundtrack of The secret of Roan Inish, aka seal songs, while Dad mows the lawn and I'm going to take the van down to get an alignment.

As for naptimes, do they have much of a schedule? For myself, I found it easier to get them to nap if it happened at the same time every day. At 7 months, I think I usually had one morning nap and one afternoon nap, but it may have been three naps a day. Power naps are awful, aren't they? It must be so difficult to get twins to sleep. Do they share a bed, or a room? (I'm always curious about how to manage twins.) Anyway I know other people are happy without schedules, so YMMV.

Off to get the van fixed up...

[Unauthorized Cinnamon]

Instead of spending Chloe's (13 months) nap time cleaning up the kitchen, I'm slacking here on the message boards.

One thing I learned about the time you're at, fessie, is that putting her down for a nap 1.5 to 2 hours after she woke up in the morning helped her attitude and her napping a lot. It seems weird to put them back down so soon, but it worked for us. Also, a very early bedtime: 5:30-6.

That said, she still tends to nap for 30 minutes or so, tops.

This week she has been trying my patience immensely. She now has a fever as well as being cranky, and I'm hoping to Rock it's a new tooth, and not another ear infection. The next few days will tell. My mom and dad are taking her tomorrow, thank goodness! One of the hardest things about momhood is never having an end to the day or a weekend, like with a standard job.

Cute thing of the week: when she's upset, she'll sit in my lap, pull up my shirt, and cuddle her head on my bare chest. A clothed chest just won't do now that she knows how to do this.

[Flutterby]

Well it's almost 1 and I've yet to have my coffee or my shower for the day, instead we lazed about in bed for most of the morning (we were all pretty tired) and Caterpie (8 months) is now having a nap in his play pen while I glance over the boards. I plan to make some soup soon, actually right after I post this because I'll be able to eat it before he wakes up (hopefully).

[fessie]

Aren't Saturday's great?! My best memories of childhood seem to be linked to the sounds of the dishwasher and lawn mower running simultaneously! It's interesting how much Moms accomplish - before I had kids, I never imagined I'd do a load of dishes every single day; now I don't give it a thought!

dangermom how has raising a second baby been for you? Are you making a lot of the same choices as you did with your first?

That scheduling is a tricky topic, it seems to be the only thing twin moms ever discuss! I hate routines myself, but I do try to follow a similar pattern in the morning with bfast about two hours after they get up and a nap an hour later. The results vary wildly - some days it's just the right thing, other days pffffffft. I blame my Mom for putting a curse on me when I was a baby & wouldn't nap either! However, I hear you AerynSun and I'll try anything; maybe I'll push that cereal back an hour earlier & see what happens. My daughter, Zoe, is the holdout; Bryce usually sleeps easily & for a good spell (an hour or two).

Nighttime sleeping isn't that bad, they go down at 7:30 (give or take an hour) and wake up 11 hours later. Usually one feeding overnight. Since you asked about arrangements, dangermom, I'm still cosleeping but we have two cribs that I use for naps (trying to cover all bases in the sleeping arrangement lottery!) - right now one's in their room & one is in the living room, which is incredibly handy but a nuisance when I'd like to make some noise.

Here's hoping for that tooth, AerynSun, and not an ear infection! Don't you wish you had one of those instruments to look in her ear yourself, versus shelling out the copay for the pediatrician? Hope you have plans for your free day & excellent weather, that sounds wonderful!

[fessie]

Flutterby, if you are showering every single day, I am totally jealous :p .

[Alice The Goon]

I think there are 2 things going on with them, Fessie:

You say you lay them down after they've fallen asleep. Getting to sleep on your own is a skill everyone should learn as babies. Sleep has stages, from very light, almost-awake to very deep. And people do wake up momentarily several times during their sleep. Kids that are put to bed after they're asleep don't learn the skill to get themselves back to sleep if they awake momentarily, which is the reason many parents have older babies and kids that still waken during the night.
At this age, your babies would have to be trained to get to sleep by themselves using the Ferber Method, which can be difficult for a couple weeks but is so worth it.
Also, most babies need and do well with two naps a day- one in the morning and one in the afternoon.
When my youngest was born I didn't want to go through the getting-to-sleep nightmare I'd gone through with my other two, and researched the subject heavily. One thing I'd read was that sleep begets sleep. Hard to believe, and I was skeptical at first, but I found it to be true. The more rested your baby is, the more he sleeps, and the happier and more alert he is when he is awake.

[dangermom]

dangermom how has raising a second baby been for you? Are you making a lot of the same choices as you did with your first?
Well, I gave up on cloth diapers at about 6 months this time. Which makes for about 3 solid years of cloth diapering, since we got DangerGirl trained about a month before the baby came. I was diapered out. And we're out and about quite a bit more, but little of it is for my personal entertainment. :)

Otherwise, some different things have worked for this baby that didn't with DGirl. I can't remember them right now, though. It's all kind of a blur.

But it's been good. There wasn't nearly so much culture shock, and the girls love each other (plenty of screeching, too). I'm becoming more organized and scheduled with each one (I never was before), it seems to keep me sane. We'll probably do it again next year.


I would second the advice about teaching them to get to sleep on their own. It's important to their long-term well-being, and to yours as well. It's not too late at all; my SIL had trouble with her baby and she suddenly became a sleeping angel at 9 months, and mine started cooperating at 6 and 7 months--everyone was happier. Good luck with that!

[fessie]

Honestly, it's usually less of a getting-to-sleep nightmare & more a staying asleep for naps problem (I am for 2 per day). At night I do often lay them down sleepy, I just ignore them while I read a magazine in bed. However, I know you're right trublmkr about the sleeping skills issue and I think it's good that you brought it up.

That the naps have been worse lately has made me wonder if it's a 6-month developmental milestone issue; when they were 4 and 5 months old there were times when each of them would fall asleep on their own, once I laid them down in a quiet state. Lately they're just so ornery!

But I hear you guys saying it's important for them to be able to sleep on their own, and I believe you. I've just never been clear on how to go from being a prompt AP responder to letting them cry. Wouldn't they wonder what on earth was going on? I have known excellent parents who have used CIO, and their kids are great; I just don't know that I could do it. Some of that is probably twin mom guilt - they already have to wait and fuss in the course of an ordinary day.

I do appreciate everyone's suggestions and input; I don't mean to hijack this into a big sleeping debate thread. I'm curious as to how devotees of Dr. Sears have managed this phase; however, I know that people use a variety of methods quite successfully.

[Primaflora]

CIO was simply Not An Option for me so we never did it. I'm not convinced that babies need to learn to sleep alone -- my 11 yo transitioned to sleeping alone quite easily several years back. He was a nightmare non-sleeper BTW. Slept about 6 hours out of every 24 and not in one block either. He's just wired not to sleep.

I was hardcore AP, co-sleeping and feeding my babies until they self-weaned. M was bf until about 3 1/2 years, K until about 4 1/2 years.

Ultimately you gotta do what works for you. There's a lot of people out there who are AP'ing and having perfectly fine outcomes ;) -- it's not written in stone that you need to switch over to CIO or your kids will never sleep. At 6 months if I were comfortable as an AP parent, there's no freaking way I'd be thinking that my babies needed to learn to sleep.

I haven't read Pantley's No-Cry Sleep Solution but it seems to be used by a lot of AP parents of babies. Might be worth looking at. Sears never really floated my boat.

Ferber makes me wanna cry, let alone doing that to a baby.

[Flutterby]

Flutterby, if you are showering every single day, I am totally jealous :p .

Actually.. no, no I don't. My Dad bugs me about this but I say his Mom was one of those supermom types and not to hold me up to her standards. (Grandma has an opinion about EVERYTHING. I got the whole why's he not eating solids yet at 4 months.. uh cuz he's not. I waited till he wanted to but she was all 'well I did that with my kids and I made your mom do that with you and you all are fine' bah *takes a breath* It's not MY Mom I have to worry about telling me I'm doing things wrong it's my Grandma's)

Mostly I shower every other day, because I need it, but soon I will have to shower every day. Going back to school Monday and my hair looks so bad by noon the second day. Today is my shower day, but I have decided to dye my hair and after that's done I will shower.

[Greenback]

My son would cry and scream unless someone was holding him or patting his back while he was in the crib. He gradually grew out of it (we did push things along a bit but pushing too hard only made it worse), but it didn't seem like it would ever end at the time. My daughter went to sleep great right from birth and me and the Mrs. didn't orchestrate any plan to get her to that point.

I can remember Mrs.G rocking my son one evening and I was mentioning that we should put him down and let him cry a bit. She responded that soon he wouldn't need her to fall asleep. She said that, unless it got really out of hand, she was not going to miss out on this blessing. Yup, my wife is an angel.


At present, my three year old son is trying to convince me to get him a pet. He just got potty trained in the last week :D

My 15 month old girl is far too adept at flashing her big blue eyes. We went to a beacch and people were stopping to stare at her and make comments on how pretty she is. Daddy's chest could not have expanded any further.


Saturdays calls for pancakes and a playtime morning regardless of what I have to do that day. The afternoon is usually worktime, with my son doing all he can to help.

[WhyNot]

Of course, you must make your own decisions regarding your babies. Your gut will tell you what's right. But here's my experience:

We did the cry-it-out method with my son at about 8 months - but in baby steps, so to speak. The first night was the worst (for me if not for him). I think I lasted 2 minutes before I had to run in there. Then it was pat, pat, soothing talk and a million kisses. Then leave again, this time for 5 minutes. Pat, pat, soothe, soothe. 10 minutes. OK, that's it! Pick him up and love him to pieces.

Second night: 5 minutes, pat, soothe, 10 minutes, pat, soothe, 10 minutes again. Pick him up and give it up.

Third night: slept right through. I woke in a panic at about 3 AM - ran into his room, certain he had smothered or something. He was just fine. Slept 9 hours a night after that. :eek:

I have no idea what the recent books are saying, but I would not leave an infant for more than 10 minutes, and I would not do more than 3 rounds of crying. Yes, they need to learn to put themselves to sleep, but you also don't want to generate trust issues. I wouldn't do it before 6 months, and I would expect it to take longer with twins, since they're likely to wake each other up.

[fessie]

Well, people, how do we do this? 'Cause I see points I'd like to comment on in every post, but then I'm afraid I'm going to be annoying or seem like I'm trying to be the ringmaster or something! What's the protocol?

I'm just gonna toss these out for the moment; my babies are asleep & I enjoyed reading everyone's posts! Greenback that is so sweet about your pride, you made me smile! What's the pet going to be? WhyNot it sounds like that really worked for you. I don't think my daughter has that temperament (she's massively stubborn like her father!) but it's interesting how you adapted the technique. Flutterby what are you studying? Good for you, staying tough when the critics howl! Primaflora I agree about the individuality, and I love co-sleeping - although I'm concerned that my son is becoming too active and might need to be in the crib to be safe. I do have NCSS - oddly, it was given to me by a dear friend whose husband is hard-core CIO!

I'm so glad that we can come together and discuss our differing approaches and perhaps disagree; I made a comment on another message board that wasn't in lockstep with the prevailing view, and people just went bananas. Just because I'm more comfortable with, and sometimes advocate for, a particular choice doesn't mean I'm not interested in what other parents have chosen, or ambivalent about what I'm doing (or just frustrated with the whole gig!).

[LilyoftheValley]

Hi all. Another Saturday night, and I'm at home at the computer! :dubious:

Actually, ValleyGirl's asleep in her crib, and I have free time, so all's good.

I don't want to turn this into a debate on sleep, but I just want to speak up as another mom who has a 7 mo old girl who has never CIO'd or "sleep trained", and is perfectly fine. Of course, all babies are different, blah blah blah.

Can I just tell you that ValleyGirl is the cutest baby in the known universe? People come up to me everywhere I go and tell me this too. (Her pediatrician says, "I tell all parents that their babies are cute, but this baby is just gorgeous!" Gotta love him. ;) ) I actually felt bad the other day -- I was out with a friend and her son (who is 1 month younger than VG). Three people told me how beautiful VG was, but no one said anything about her son. :( Now why would anyone do that? Good thing the kids are too young to notice, and it's just the parents' egos getting bruised.

[Flutterby]

I'm taking Business Administration.. two year program. I had orientation on Friday and so far things look cool. I'll probably be whining that I don't want to get up at 6am on a Friday in the middle of winter though. I got the luck of the draw in getting the 8am classes *grumbles*

Yeah when I had Grandma bugging me I basically told her. "Well the doctor says he's doing good, he's sleeping through the night, he doesn't show any interest so we're waiting."

As to the sleeping thing what I do is put him down, with a bottle of milk (yeah I know bad bad, but it works) and he goes right off to sleep. Usually. Right now he's sitting on my lap, chewing on my monkey an hour past his usual bedtime. I think he's teething again, my wrist bears teeth marks from when he was gnawing earlier. He doesn't bite (again, usually) just gnaws a little.

[WhyNot]

I'm so glad that we can come together and discuss our differing approaches and perhaps disagree; I made a comment on another message board that wasn't in lockstep with the prevailing view, and people just went bananas. Just because I'm more comfortable with, and sometimes advocate for, a particular choice doesn't mean I'm not interested in what other parents have chosen, or ambivalent about what I'm doing (or just frustrated with the whole gig!).

I totally agree. (Thanks for not going bananas on me!) I also have to say that my son is almost 12 years old, and I was barely 18 when I had him. I'm not sure I would do the same today. I think every mom and every baby is different. Anyone who tells you what you "should" do really needs to keep their eyes on their own plate!

WhyDad and I decided last night to have a WhyBaby! (He's not my son's biological father.) I'm really excited and scared! I keep thinking, "Do I really want to do this all over again, now that WhyKid is old enough to be independant and I'm pretty much getting my life back?" But I really want to do it now that I'm actually an adult! Of course, I love WhyKid like nobody's business, but I was WAY too young when I had him, and while I did the best I could, I look back on some of it and cringe. I'm just incredibly lucky that he's such an awesome human being - he could have turned into a little monster.

Three of my dearest friends have newborns and two more are expecting in the next year. Not to cave into peer pressure, but it seems that if we do it now, I'll have great support and company! (Maybe it's just the hormones talking...) :)

[dangermom]

Hey, that's nice, WhyNot. I bet you'll have a lot of fun.

Sleeping-wise, we did pretty much the same thing as WhyNot, with the crying for several minutes, back-patting etc., rinse and repeat. It's horribly painful to just sit there and let the baby cry! Only since I was nursing, it was often DangerDad who had to go in there and do the soothing, if we were trying to get rid of the 5am feeding or something.


As for the end of my day, I got some quilting done this afternoon (am working on a Christmas tree skirt, I've only wanted one for about 8 years now) and we went on a date, which involved burritos and shoe-shopping. Staying out past bedtime is a huge thrill for us, and the girls love their babysitter. I have to teach a class tomorrow, so I'd better go to bed.

[MissGypsy]

My little one, GypsyTot, always went to sleep on his own and slept fine, but now, at 3, he’s decided he doesn’t need naps anymore. I disagree, but he doesn’t seem to care.

Yet now that he’s gotten all independent, I get to start all over! Yep, another one is on the way. I’m suddenly getting flashbacks to bottles and burping and those darling teensy-weensy little socks that always vanish in the washing machine…

So anyone have any advice on how to handle a three-year-old whose world is about to turn upside down?

[China Guy]

My b/g twins are almost 7 months old. He's rolling over & scooting around, she just rolled over for the first time this week & doesn't seem in a hurry to repeat the experience.Hey Fessie, you're about a year ahead of my curve. Going into week 20 with about 17 weeks to go on twins. Last ultrasound suggests twin girls but still kinda early to be conclusive. Not that I care as long as babies and Mommy is healthy. I've got a 4 year old girl already who's looking forward to having two slaves to boss around.

Domestic help is real cheap here, so I ain't leaving China until school age minimum. I'll probably dodge many of the issues around new borns/twins by virtue of having a live in nanny and a full time maid/cook.

That said, any advice or ancedotes on twins are welcome.

[China Guy]

Can someone translate what AP and CIO stand for and actually mean?

I have a Sears book but some of these others are beyond me. BTW, I find www.parentcenter.com to be a great site. I especially like the weekly and monthly emails they send out depending on age.

[fessie]

Can someone translate what AP and CIO stand for and actually mean?


Hey China Guy!

AP is Attachment Parenting, CIO is cry it out. The other big controversy is Babywise by Gary Ezzo. I'll leave it to someone else to define these more clearly. NCSS is the No Cry Sleep Solution book.

I want to start a new acronym - FAB - Fuss a Bunch! That's what my kids do!

Congratulations on your twins! Since you've already been through the baby drill once, and are planning to hire help, you've really got the big issues under your belt. The only things we have two of are car seats, high chairs and cribs. And exersaucers, but they're different.

Of course, right now the disadvantage to your existing knowledge concerns the pregnancy - twin pregnancies are (for most women) vastly different and I think women who've already had babies get fooled by it. Make your wife take it easy!!! I've read so many posts from twin moms whose babies were premature and thus spent weeks in the NICU, and they all say they wish they'd listened to their doctors more closely and curtailed their activities. Of course there are exceptions, and cases where things just happen - who knows?

Personally, I was exhausted for most of the 9 months and I rarely did a thing. Even to the point of not unloading the dishwasher. It is soooo depressing to be inactive that way, and it is really painful towards the end, but I carried my babies to 38w 5d and they were each almost 6 lbs. I was the size of a Volkswagon, but after my scheduled C-Section I felt great within hours! It was such a relief, I was dancing jigs!

Re: twin anecdote - people sometimes think that with twins, you often have two screaming babies. That's actually rarely happened. When one of them works up a big head of steam, the other one will look over as if to say "ok, you take this one" and will shut up. They're quite aware of one another and have been since about 8 weeks or so. Nowadays they laugh at one another all the time.

[Bren_Cameron]

So anyone have any advice on how to handle a three-year-old whose world is about to turn upside down?

Mine was three when we had our second. We didn't do much, except tell her there was a baby in mommy's tummy who'd be coming out soon, etc.

She came to the hospital, and looked at him in the crib, and I said, "There's your baby brother. Do you like him?"

"No," she said.

Well, at least she was honest. But she's done all right. We've stressed that she's the big sister, and the little guy needs her help, and that seemed to help.

As for sleeping--like others have said, everyone needs to work out what works best for them. I'm convinced that not only are families different, but babies are. Some things that work like a charm for one kid just won't for another, and I look at the different childcare experts' advice as options I can try to see if they work and if they don't I try something else. I certainly don't see them as rules for the "right way" to raise kids.

That said, my kids slept with us for quite awhile. When my daughter was about three, I started putting her to bed in her room, and that worked fine. I didn't have to teach her to go to sleep on her own, though I did spend a week or so rubbing her back for awhile after tucking in so she wouldn't feel lonely after I put her to bed.

Same for my son. He's four now, and I've been putting him to bed in his own bed since he was about two and a half. I didn't have to teach him to go to sleep on his own.

I think that if what you're doing is working, there's no need to switch to something else just because someone else says it's not right. I think kids learn to put themselves to sleep in a variety of ways, and some kids learn better going to sleep with mom or dad there so they feel secure once they're ready to do it on their own, and some kids need a different kind of training--or some parents need the room in their own bed! I know how that goes, too. You've got to go with what's best for you and your family.

[tanookie]

Hey there...

I have two kidlets. The girl child turned 3 in May and the boy child will be one in October.

To commemorate the end of my childbearing experiences I got a tattoo! Yay me.

My son is currently practicing using a stool. He wanted his sister's milk so he pushed a toy over to climb on so he could reach it. She got mad and moved the milk. He decided to attack daddy's laptop. I closed that. Now he's stealing remotes but his sister is taking them away so I'm all set there.

My kids sleep great. We put them in cribnito when they got tired and got them up when they decided they were awake. They've been sleeping through since they were 8 weeks (girl) and 12 weeks (boy.) I don't know if it is because of or in spite of our parenting skills.

The girl child stopped naping about 18 months. The boy child still takes his 3 hour siesta.

I don't read parenting books - they made me feel really inadequate. The pregnancy books scared the crap out of me! "Why yes here is what your baby is growing this week and the 8,000,000 ways that can go wrong - but don't worry!" Thanks. Parenting books seem like guides for you to decide what kind of neurosis you want your kid in therapy for when he's 30.

I have two daredevils now. They seem to want to kill themselves by climbing. My daughter is houdini and can escape any child thwarting device around. My son watches carefully and imitates as best as he can. I knew kids were smart but I didn't realize they could be so devious!

[fessie]

Hey tanookie!

I just have to say, I get a real kick out of all the names you guys use for your babies, kidlets, catterpies, etc. So clever.

I think you're right, Bren_Cameron - I know that people are telling the absolute truth when they say one particular method worked beautifully, and I'm equally covinced when I hear an opposing truth. Since my babies are fraternal I see every day what different individuals they are, and it takes different tactics.

Re: siblings, a former boss of mine gave his two kids gifts "from the baby" to help smooth things over. I think they bought it, for a while anyway. ;)

[Unauthorized Cinnamon]

OMG, that is so cute, them laughing at each other! Laughing is one of the best things about babies. Every time I get fed up with how intense Chloe can be, I'm reminded that while her curiosity, neediness, and frustration are forceful, so is her joy.

As for parenting advice and books - I finally found a way to look at it all that works for us. All the books and parenting styles, and what your friends tell you - all of that is a great source for ideas. If you try to follow some book or expert as an absolute authority, you will probably feel inadequate and guilty a lot. But if you realize that no one really knows what works best, and only you know your baby as an individual, you can take tidbits from different sources, and create a fluid plan that works for your family.

For instance, every book I read said that a nap of less than an hour is not a "real" nap, and predicted all kinds of dire consequences, including chronic insomnia for the rest of her life, if she didn't nap "correctly." Well, she's done the 30 min nap thing for at least six months, and she sleeps for 12-13 hours at night, usually without needing me. I finally just relaxed and let her be herself, and I'm a lot happier. She's also happier, without me trying to force longer naps on her (as if that were possible!).

[JohnT]

I never bothered to read any general parenting books, never needed to, never wanted to. My wife read the "What to Expect When Your..." books and found them to be nothing more than worry-generators - she was particularly unnerved at one passage that talked about spinal development, temperature sensitivity regarding this particular moment which implied that one shouldn't take a bath during the X number of hours that this nerve is developing. I give the books a hearty :rolleyes: seal of disapproval.

The others that I browsed through seemed to be a kaleidescope of ideology with the occasional nugget of common sense, therefore not worth my while.

Shockingly enough, despite my ignoring the experts, Sophie is a wonderful, intelligent, amazingly-polite two-year-old (almost 3, actually) who is a joy to be with.

And she still naps for about 2-3 hours a day, late afternoon. And if she doesn't nap, she knows well enough to stay in her room and quietly play... and yes, we do believe in schedules.

[Flutterby]

Oh yes, the pregnancy books scared the hell outta me too. As if I didn't have enough to worry about as is! (I didn't know I was pregnant till I was about 9 weeks along and as such had been out partying, not taking folic acid, not eating very well.. thankfully Caterpie is showing no signs of problems *big sigh of relief*)

The parenting books I borrowed from the library, scanned a couple and kept the what to expect books as long as I could just to read certain parts of it. I never bothered with reading the whole thing, just stuck to the stuff about starting solids and such. I've had a fair bit of experience with babies so I wasn't completely lost at the start, just tired and right now I pretty much wing it.

And thanks for the liking what I call him. I picked it cuz it was cute and fit with my username (I thought) :D

[JohnT]

We had an idea that something was amiss when my lovely and svelte wife ate an entire Bloomin' Onion at Outbacks, prior to putting away an entire meal.

"What's up? Are you hungry or pregnant?"
"... Oh, shit!"

;)

Actually, we had been trying for 5 months so it wasn't that much of a shock. It was close enough to Valentines Day as to give us the opportunity to wait for confirmation until then, allowing us to (more or less) truthfully tell our little girl that we discovered that Mommy was expecting her arrival on Valentines Day.

[tanookie]

Actually, we had been trying for 5 months so it wasn't that much of a shock. It was close enough to Valentines Day as to give us the opportunity to wait for confirmation until then, allowing us to (more or less) truthfully tell our little girl that we discovered that Mommy was expecting her arrival on Valentines Day.

I think I will let my son do the math on his own some day to discover he was concieved on Valentine's Day. :eek:

We live a kind of bohemian lifestyle. Sleep when we're tired - eat when we're hungry. Both mommy and daddy are home most of the time. I couldn't function by a schedule without some serious reconditioning. We also know we are really lucky to have daddy and mommy both working out of the house. We're enjoying it while we can since we know nothing is forever.

[lorene]

OK, so I have 5 weeks to go until #2 comes along. Child #1 (my little girl) will turn 2 during those 5 weeks.
I'm a little bit concerned about the effect on her, but I have to say, I am really concerned about the effect on me! Maybe I'm just sick of being pregnant during the heat and humidity, as well as having to work, AND I have some odd rash/itchiness thing that is making me miserable...but I have become a real bitch lately and just so overwrought.
I have very genuine fears that I will lose all patience and perspective when I have 2 to take care of. I grew up with a mother who was bitchy and impatient and smacked us around to "teach" us and basically got zero enjoyment out of being a parent, and I don't want to end up like that.
Words of encouragement, please?

[Note: I don't hit my child and plan never to. I threw that in there to illustrate just why I am so afraid of turning out like my own mom.]

[Flutterby]

Well if you're worried about that happening I'd say that's a first step to it not happening. Because then you'll be more aware of what you are doing and if you start to do that you'll pull back.

Not to say you won't get bitchy, I do and I only have one! I don't direct it at him though. He can't understand that Mommy's in a bad mood or has a headache and really doesn't want you screeching today.

I'm just trying not to turn out like my Mom or my Grandmothers.. the Grandmothers are are really strict, and my Mom is.. well she's pretty lax. I'm trying to hit the happy medium and not get guilted into anything (like baptism, that one hasn't come up yet thankfully)

[norinew]

Hey, can I join? My kids are a little older than most of the ones you guys are talking about, but I might have some helpful stuff to contribute. I have three girls, ages 17, 13 and 4. Yeah, I know, I know. For years after girl number 2, we both said, well, two kids is enough. We don't need more than that. Then, when girl number two was almost 7 years old, hubby said, "well, we could try one more time for a boy, couldn't we?" So, I ended up having another baby at 38 years of age. Eight years between my second and third. There are blessings and drawbacks to these kinds of age differences. My oldest has a host of mental and emotional problems, including but not limited to, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, suicidal tendencies, alcoholism and drug addiction. She's currently attending the alternative high school here in town. My 13-year-old is a gem, beautiful, smart and geeky. My 4-year-old is a joy. Smart and funny. I call her "monkey girl" because she climbs so much! She's a study in contradictions. She's a tomboy who loves skirts that "twirl". She'll start preschool tomorrow. She has a speech-delay problem, as did my middle daughter.

So, my take on a couple of things. Sleeping: I did CIO. One important thing if you're going to do this: use a timer! When your baby is crying, two minutes seems like at least 15! If you decide not to do this, don't feel guilty. Like most other things in life, everyone has to find their own way. Don't worry too much about any one thing you do being a mistake. You'll make thousands of mistakes before your kid is grown. You can drive yourself nuts worrying about every little thing!

lorene, I absolutely understand your concerns! When I was pregant with my second one, my SIL told me "two kids are more than twice as hard as one". Turns out she was right. Also turns out, I handled it. Everyone talks about sibling rivalry, and all that stuff. Well, all that stuff exists, and if anyone wants it, I have some advice. But something that very few people talk about is how wonderful it is to see sibling interact in a positive way with each other. When they are loving and/or caring towards one another, it's very rewarding.

fessie, I think this thread is a great idea!

[fessie]

norinew! so wonderful to see you!

lorene hon, I know just what you mean! That end of pregnancy period is SO hard! Good for you hanging in there - shoot, I was a real bitch during most of my pregnancy & on quite a few occasions since!! And you're working? You're tough!

Although I'm far from the most experienced parent here, I can really relate to your concerns about raising two. I agree with Flutterby about awareness being the first step. Then I think you have to prioritize. I decided that my first order of business is safety and basic care; second is affection and patience; and playing and enthusiasm come in third. It's a pretty distant third some days! Because I always have to keep myself an energy reserve; if I give everything I've got during the day, I really hit the wall at night. Lean on relatives for help, too; as soon as I get enough visiting adults around to take care of my kids, I'm outta here! I also decided that when I spoke to my babies it would always be with affection, and when I touched them it would always be with love. So far, so good (knock wood!).

[norinew]

BTW, lorene, I had my first baby in the middle of June. I was so miserable the last few weeks that I timed my second two pregnancies so I wouldn't have another summer baby!

[fessie]

So norinew - what have you chosen to do differently with your third daughter? Oh, and my twins were born two months after I turned 39! Yep! If I don't keep my roots at bay with ol' #63, I start getting "So are these your kids?" everywhere I go. My mother has borderline personality disorder, she's a wonderful woman but it's been difficult.

tanookie bohemian is a great word! Me too!

I agree with all of you about parenting books & magazines, even though I still browse through them, trying to cover all my bases. WTEWYE is too earnest & dour for me. Part of that could be because I started reading it when I had morning sickness - it makes me nauseous!! The only author I really like is Vicki Iovine, she's a hoot. Her books are more about mommy's needs, she's very sympathetic (although she seems to have some food/body issues of her own). The only magazine I really love is Brain, Child.

LillyoftheValley people have done that to my kids, too; my daughter's good at making eye contact, so sometimes people will ignore my son. He notices, too, one day his little mouth went all wiggly when my friend turned away (so of course I intervened). I'd love to see pix of your ValleyGirl!

Talking about babies interacting -- a few weeks ago my son was just babbling away & my daughter was laughing at him. I said to Hubby "I think he's telling jokes", and Hubby said (in his baby boy voice) "... so then the Jewish baby said, 'But my bris isn't until next week' ". :p

[norinew]

Originally posted by fessie
So norinew - what have you chosen to do differently with your third daughter?
It's not so much a matter of what I've chosen to do differently as what she's demanded I do differently ;) . Our oldest daughter was very easy going. I could put her down anywhere and she'd entertain herself for hours. She slept through the night starting at 2 weeks. She was very social, and my sisters took her for overnights and weekends all the time. She was fully conversational by age two. My father said "don't ever have another baby; you'll never have another one this good". Four years later, I had my second daughter. My second daughter was also quite docile, but in a different kind of way. She would listen to everything I said, and do it, even if she was unhappy about it. When I took her out of her crib and put her in a bed when she was two and a half, she would sit on the top of the steps in the morning, waiting for someone to notice her and tell her she could come down. She had speech-delay problems. Starting at about the time normal babies start talking, she started immitating animal sounds, but not talking at all. By the time she was three, she could make over 40 animal sounds, including different sounds for "nice kitty" and "angry kitty". She started intensive speech therapy at 3 years old (15 hours a week), and just blossomed. Now you can't shut her up! My third one, though, is just like her father! She's strong-willed and intrepid. Last night, when she was out chasing fireflies, she caught a slug instead. She named it Cup, and it now lives in a small jar in her room. She loves creepy-crawlies. I use time-outs with her (as I did with the first two), and they seem successful. But whereas the first two would sit passively in time-out, the little one screams the whole time; she gets pissed off about it! The differnet tempraments demand different ways of interacting with them.

One thing I do with my youngest that I ddint' do with the other two, because I never thought of it, is I use a timer. If it's almost time to get ready to go somewhere, I'll set my timer and tell her when the timer beeps, we have to put away the Play-Doh and get ready. When it's nap time, I set the timer and tell her she has to lay down for 15 minutes; if she gets up, it gets reset. When I play with her, I set the timer to let her know when playtime is over. At clean-up time, I set the timer for 5 minutes to let her see if she can pick up her toys before the timer beeps. She loves the timer, and responds well to it.

Wow! I talk a lot, huh? :D

[fessie]

You just keep talking :p ! That timer bit is a great suggestion! I guess I was hoping to hear "now that I'm an experienced parent, I know better than to (fill in blank)", but apparently there's no way to use your learning curve to circumvent my own mistakes ;). There is no Simple 'n EZ route, is there?

I was actually thinking I'd gone a bit far in my remarks to lorene, sometimes I'm too passionate. I hope I wasn't overbearing.
That "Don't-Want-to-be-Like-My-Mom" thing really strikes a chord with me, but I'm betting it's just about the biggest fear we all have (after SIDS).

[tanookie]

I refuse to be my mom!

The thing with kids is that they really are their own people. Each one is different, different temperament, different ideas, different likes and dislikes. There is no one size fits all trick to work with all kids.

Well there is one. No matter what style you parent in - consistency is key. They really need to be able to depend on you!

[lorene]

I was actually thinking I'd gone a bit far in my remarks to lorene, sometimes I'm too passionate. I hope I wasn't overbearing.
That "Don't-Want-to-be-Like-My-Mom" thing really strikes a chord with me, but I'm betting it's just about the biggest fear we all have (after SIDS).

You weren't at all overbearing! Trust me, it's a relief to have people relate to what I'm saying/fearing.
I liked your explanation about the priorities, too. I think that's where I kind of shoot myself in the foot sometimes---I try to do it all at once, and then wonder why I don't have the energy to do it all perfectly. But the idea that enthusiasm can take a back seat, as long as I'm mastering safety, affection and patience...well, that just makes sense.

norinew, I love the timer idea, too! My duaghter has trouble at times transitioning from one activity to another, especially because she is just too young to understand that we are not saying goodbye to that activity forever. I think the timer would eventually help.

[norinew]

Originally posted by fessie
There is no Simple 'n EZ route, is there?
Well, yes, actually there is. The trick is to have more than 10 kids. This way, you completely lose your mind, and nothing bothers you anymore! :D

For fessie and tanookie, boy can I relate on "not being my mom". My mom was in no way suited to motherhood! The most important thing I found, though, is that once you figure out you don't want to be your mom, you have to figure out what kind of mom you do want to be. Otherwise, you just go through the whole thing improvising full-time, and there goes that all-important consistency tanookie was talking about!

[fessie]

Actually I'm counting on early senility for getting through their adolescence :D .

The most important thing I found, though, is that once you figure out you don't want to be your mom, you have to figure out what kind of mom you do want to be.

There's the rub, isn't it. Making that all-important decision without any experience on which to base the judgement. And there's no do-overs!

Isn't it odd that sex leads to parenthood? Could two acts be any more different?

[Kilt-wearin' man]

I'm not a mommy, but my wife is...

...And we're expecting the Wee Kilt-wearin' Lad in three days, while the Kilt-wearin' Lad (our oldest) is a year and a month old right now. Yeah, sleep will be just a beautiful memory for quite a while...

Did anyone have problems with a toddler's reaction to a new brother or sister coming home? I just don't know how the Lad will react to his new brother. He's always been the center of our attention and I worry that maybe we've spoiled him just a bit...I mean, generally speaking he's a wonderfully behaved, happy baby but, well, I worry a little. We'll do our best to make sure he doesn't feel neglected of course, but there will be rare times the Wee Lad needs both Mommy and Daddy's attention for a little while...

Advice?

[tanookie]

I'm not a mommy, but my wife is...

...And we're expecting the Wee Kilt-wearin' Lad in three days, while the Kilt-wearin' Lad (our oldest) is a year and a month old right now. Yeah, sleep will be just a beautiful memory for quite a while...

Did anyone have problems with a toddler's reaction to a new brother or sister coming home? I just don't know how the Lad will react to his new brother. He's always been the center of our attention and I worry that maybe we've spoiled him just a bit...I mean, generally speaking he's a wonderfully behaved, happy baby but, well, I worry a little. We'll do our best to make sure he doesn't feel neglected of course, but there will be rare times the Wee Lad needs both Mommy and Daddy's attention for a little while...

Advice?

Well - for a while the wee lad won't have a clue. It doesn't hurt to tell the wee one that you have to put him down and do X for the older child when wee lad takes a nap. This was your older son gets to hear you telling the baby to wait a minute once in a while instead of always the other way around. Become a creative housekeeper. Let some non critical stuff go.

Also - sometimes one or the other has to cry for a minute. You're only human. It hasn't killed my kids yet.

Give your one year old easy things to do and even get him a "baby" of his own. My daughter liked changing and feeding her bear just like mommy did with the baby. I also learned a lot about how my parenting looked to her by watching her imitate me. :eek:

[Greenback]

Take some time to be with just kilt wearing lad. More often than not, it seems that even time spent with the elder child has the inclusion of the baby. But I have found that giving the youngster complete attention worked well. Maybe it gave the impression that we were not just trying to fit him but actually taking time for him. It is easy to say but with kids that close in age, but I found it hard to make that time available.




Greenback that is so sweet about your pride, you made me smile! What's the pet going to be?


Thanks. Little girls scare me because they grow up to be women *shudder*

Little G thinks the stray cat he is giving attention to in the backyard is staying forever...but my wife has some allergies to cats. We'll put it off a little longer but i think a puppy will be coming eventually.



On preview: Good suggestions Tanookie.

[Dangerosa]

I'm not a mommy, but my wife is...

...And we're expecting the Wee Kilt-wearin' Lad in three days, while the Kilt-wearin' Lad (our oldest) is a year and a month old right now. Yeah, sleep will be just a beautiful memory for quite a while...

Did anyone have problems with a toddler's reaction to a new brother or sister coming home? I just don't know how the Lad will react to his new brother. He's always been the center of our attention and I worry that maybe we've spoiled him just a bit...I mean, generally speaking he's a wonderfully behaved, happy baby but, well, I worry a little. We'll do our best to make sure he doesn't feel neglected of course, but there will be rare times the Wee Lad needs both Mommy and Daddy's attention for a little while...

Advice?


Our kids are twelve months three weeks apart. My son handled the arrival of his sister without a hitch, and its only now that he is six that he is starting to rebel a little. She has always been very demanding and difficult - he has always been easy going and adaptable. Which has meant that everything with her takes forever - at almost five she still wants help getting dressed (or will dwaddle until you are late) - while he is very independant - so she has always gotten the lions share of the attention (not always positive attention, but attention) and I think he is finally feeling shorted.

[Kilt-wearin' man]

Our kids are twelve months three weeks apart. My son handled the arrival of his sister without a hitch, and its only now that he is six that he is starting to rebel a little. She has always been very demanding and difficult - he has always been easy going and adaptable. Which has meant that everything with her takes forever - at almost five she still wants help getting dressed (or will dwaddle until you are late) - while he is very independant - so she has always gotten the lions share of the attention (not always positive attention, but attention) and I think he is finally feeling shorted.

That's very reassuring. We're most concerned about the next six months to a year - we figure those will be the most difficult times for us. Once they're past that, they're a little more self-sufficient (to a point, anyway...). I know I'll be glad when there's only one kid in diapers...can't wait for double diaper duty to start.

[fessie]

What other tricks do you Moms & Dads use to manage two at once? How do you maintain your energy? Right now mine are young enough that making faces is enough to entertain them (and doesn't require exertion!), but I imagine it's going to get tricky soon.

[norinew]

Well, okay, here's some advice about entertaining them, even when you're exhausted. Once they're old enough to love climbing, you can lay in the floor and play "mountain climber"; this is where the child is the mountain climber, and you are the mountain. Therefore, the only thing required of you is to lay there, and roll strategically so as to keep little hands, feet, knees and elbows out of sensitive places. Finger play is also good, and doesn't require much energy from the parent; Itsy Bitsy Spider (and anyone who claims it's Incy Wincy Spider or Eensy Weensy Spider is a communist and should be shot ;) ), I Have a Turtle, The Wheels on The Bus, and many others will keep your tots entertained for minutes at a time. It also helps, as they reach pre-k age to find an activity to do with your child that you honestly enjoy. I buy adult-themed coloring books (Dover makes some good ones) and coloring books for my kids. When they want me to play with them, but I really don't have the energy for yet another round of Barbies, coloring together always made them happy. Never underestimate the fun of bathing with your child, age pre-k and younger.

[LilyoftheValley]

I'd love to see pix of your ValleyGirl!

You don't have to ask this mom twice! I threw up some snapshots on a geocities page here (http://www.geocities.com/thanegalena/valleygirl.html) just for you guys. (As you can see, IANAProfessional Photographer; she's much cuter in person.) Can I really be the first in a thread of proud parents to post photos? What are y'all waiting for? ;)

So, am I yet again the only parent of an "only"? I'd like to have another, but it doesn't look like it's going to be possible. Anyone else here???

[fessie]

Your ValleyGirl is a doll! Those are wonderful pix!

Hmmm, I'll have to see what I can dig up tomorrow for posting!

You know, you guys are gonna think I'm nuts (if you don't already) but I'm about ready to start sticking to some kind of routine, much as I hate the idea. It's getting wackier around here day by day & being fried isn't helping me be a good Mommy. I dread the thought of exerting control, but Ugh! Can the girl whose socks never match find a way to feed her kids lunch at the same time every day? Stay tuned...

[norinew]

The second pic from the bottom is my little one (userweb.suscom.net/~sokosfamily/dopefest.htm) at the Gettysburg DopeFest. She found a mud puddle to play in, but insisted it was a pond! The thing about the third kid is you don't worry so much about them getting dirty.

I'll see if I can find online pics of my older ones tomorrow, but tonight it's late, and I'm going to bed!

Originally posted by fessie
You know, you guys are gonna think I'm nuts (if you don't already) but I'm about ready to start sticking to some kind of routine, much as I hate the idea.
Have you ever checked out flylady.net? It's not everyone's cup o' tea, but it's done wonders for me!

[tanookie]

I'd think everyone would be sick of pics (http://www.kaczorzoo.net) of my kids by now.

[Flutterby]

Lily, your not the only one with a single (and no plans for another anytime soon. Kinda need an SO or to be at least having sex for that)

But here's (http://www3.telus.net/ShadesOfCrimson/Caterpie.html) some pictures. I really need to get some newer ones. The last one was taken a few months ago.

[JohnT]

Here's a few (older) pics of our little Sophie: http://hometown.aol.com/jthorn1934/myhomepage/index.html

[norinew]

this page (www.wooleysark.com/kids/Page37.html) has pictures from Jonathan Chance's housewarming party. Scroll down to the section that's labeled "Housewarming Party". The second row of pictures under this section show hubby (wearing a burgundy shirt and playing chess, on the left of the screen) and my youngest (wearing a purple shirt and drawing with chalk with JCs little cutie, on the right side of the screen). Now if you look at the fifth row of pics from the bottom of the page, you'll see a whole table full of people. The girl in profile in the orange tee shirt is my oldest daughter, and the girl right beside her in the light blue tee shirt is my middle daughter.

[mcms_cricket]

I just had a whole long reply typed up and lost it. Sigh.

You all have gorgeous children! I've a Web site for my Poppet that isn't done yet, but here she is anyway: http://home.sc.rr.com/mcmcricket/Katie/august/august_1.htm

JohnT - when I read the part in the "What to Expect" book about how every time you took a bite of food you should ask yourself "how does this benefit my baby" I threw the book against the wall and went for the Ben & Jerry's. That said, I am kind of enjoying the What to Expect the First Year book.

We started sleep "training' at about 7 weeks because none of us were getting any sleep. We skimmed through a bunch of books (I liked Jodi Mindells' book) and kind of cobbled our own routine out of it. It was rough the first few nights (we went in every 3 minutes) but now she pretty much sleeps from 9pm to about 6-6:30 a.m. every morning. Although it works for bedtime, it doesn't seem to work for naps. She just won't nap, no matter how tired she is a lot of the time.

I went back to work when she was 3.5 months - and that's working out pretty well, though I wonder how I'm every going to get anything done. How do people do it? By the time I get home, feed my daughter, feed myself, make sure my husband has eaten, play with the baby, etc., it's already 7:30 and time to start the bedtime routine (we go for a half-hour walk before she gets a bath or rubdown, last bottle or breast and a few books before we turn out the lights at 9). And by the time she's in bed, I'm too exhausted to do anything. But the house has to have at least a certain level of cleanliness. As of last Friday, the Poppet is crawling and since we have 3 cats and a dog there's some dusting and vaccuuming that just HAS to get done - to say nothing of laundry and dishes. How do you all do it?

Flutterby you may find that the early morning classes are actually a good thing. I say that as a confirmed non-morning person. You're probably going to be up early anyway because of the baby. I used to sleep as late as possible and then try to get ready and rush to work in about 20 minutes. Now that I've got the little one I find that my whole internal clock has reset itself -something I wouldn't have thought possible. It's nice to have the extra time.

[tanookie]

I went back to work when she was 3.5 months - and that's working out pretty well, though I wonder how I'm every going to get anything done. How do people do it? By the time I get home, feed my daughter, feed myself, make sure my husband has eaten, play with the baby, etc., it's already 7:30 and time to start the bedtime routine (we go for a half-hour walk before she gets a bath or rubdown, last bottle or breast and a few books before we turn out the lights at 9). And by the time she's in bed, I'm too exhausted to do anything. But the house has to have at least a certain level of cleanliness. As of last Friday, the Poppet is crawling and since we have 3 cats and a dog there's some dusting and vaccuuming that just HAS to get done - to say nothing of laundry and dishes. How do you all do it?

I'm tired just reading that! We call Zackie the human swiffer. I have a motto that we don't charge extra for the fuzz. Honestly with 2 mobile children, 4 cats and a dog - there is simply no way to get all the fuzzies all the time.

Dishes go in the dishwasher and hubby does the laundry. We split the rest depending on who can/wants to do what on any given day.

A typical day at casa tanookie goes like this: We get up sometime between 8 and 10 am. Breakfast for all. Kids spend a couple hours playing/wreaking havoc. Zackie eats and then naps. The rest of us have lunch. More playing. Lots of "helping" from my shadow. She hands me things from the dishwasher (I do all the non kid friendly stuff before she helps) or follows me around with a sponge or uses her little broom to sweep with. Then we run any errands I might have while he sleeps so daddy gets a little quiet. We generally then watch a movie and have supper and the kids play and then when they get tired we put them to sleep.

[fessie]

Okay, here's some pix ( http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/f/fessie/)! I really enjoyed everyone else's photos! They're all adorable!

Norinew, I have to make sure I know who's who - now you've got the long hair, right?

[JohnT]

JohnT - when I read the part in the "What to Expect" book about how every time you took a bite of food you should ask yourself "how does this benefit my baby" I threw the book against the wall and went for the Ben & Jerry's. That said, I am kind of enjoying the What to Expect the First Year book.

Yeah, we have those too. It's nice to check up and see how much Sophie is ahead of where the books says she is supposed to be.

We, of course, steadfastedly ignore the very few areas where she is behind and dismiss them as "unimportant" or "she would be doing that if we thought it was a priority". ;)

[lorene]

I went back to work when she was 3.5 months - and that's working out pretty well, though I wonder how I'm every going to get anything done. How do people do it? By the time I get home, feed my daughter, feed myself, make sure my husband has eaten, play with the baby, etc., it's already 7:30 and time to start the bedtime routine (we go for a half-hour walk before she gets a bath or rubdown, last bottle or breast and a few books before we turn out the lights at 9). And by the time she's in bed, I'm too exhausted to do anything. But the house has to have at least a certain level of cleanliness. As of last Friday, the Poppet is crawling and since we have 3 cats and a dog there's some dusting and vaccuuming that just HAS to get done - to say nothing of laundry and dishes. How do you all do it?



I don't do it all. I went back to work when Baby #1 was 10 weeks old. I expect to have to do the same this time around. Both times, I went (or am planning to go) back 3 days a week, which is almost more confusing than going back 5, since it leads to greater inconsistency.
The fact is, the level of cleanliness just isn't where we hope it would be, but we're pretty accepting of the limitations---my daughter can whip through a room and create a shambles in no time, and that's perfectly age-appropriate. Clean but not necessarily neat is the best to hope for a lot of the time.
The part of being a WOHM that I find hardest is the guilt and sadness. I would much rather be at home with my kid(s) 90% of the time...there is that 10% where I am happy to be getting out and doing some adult stuff. But I know my work has suffered as a result, and mostly I don't care, but it does create more stress. I know I can't be a perfect wife or a perfect mom or a perfect employee---but I hate the days when it doesn't feel like I am doing any of the 3 even passably well.

[mcms_cricket]

Fessie your twins are sooooo cute! I remember that we were both due in February - looks like we ended up being only 2.5 weeks apart.

JohnT, we do the same thing!

How are all of you doing the beginning-solid-food thing? I waited until my daughter was a week or so past five months before I started because she wasn't showing all the signs until then. So, she's only been on solids for about a month or so and is only having one solid meal per day at this point (3-5 tablespoons of cereal, thickened with breastmilk and about a jars' worth of veggies - squash, carrots, sweet potatoes or peas). All the books talk a lot about the first meal and what foods to start with but they don't talk much about when to increase to more than one meal. Some books seem to assume that by six months my baby is already eating all kinds of baby food (mixed meals, meat, etc.) and things like crackers and toast. I know I have to go somewhat slow in introducing new stuff so that I can check for allergies, but maybe I'm going too slow? What did the rest of you do?

[tanookie]

I gave them random food when we would eat. A taste of this and that and if they liked it I gave them more. I followed their lead. Kids are pretty good at saying "I'm hungry" As time passed they just naturally ate more and drank less...

[norinew]

Originally posted by fessie
Norinew, I have to make sure I know who's who - now you've got the long hair, right?
Yeah, I have long hair, pulled back in a pony tail. You can only see my back. That other long-haired woman is the SDMB's own nyctea scandiaca, and don't I wish I looked like that! :)

fessie, from those pix of the twins, it's hard to believe they'd give you even a minutes' trouble! :D

Originally posted by mcms_cricket
But the house has to have at least a certain level of cleanliness. As of last Friday, the Poppet is crawling and since we have 3 cats and a dog there's some dusting and vaccuuming that just HAS to get done - to say nothing of laundry and dishes. How do you all do it?
For one thing, my house is not always "company-ready", for another thing, I don't work outside the home, and for a third thing, I would direct you graciously, as I did fessie to flylady.net. Right now, my living room looks like a tornado hit it, but I know, thanks to my flylady routines, that in 15-minutes flat, I can have my living room and dining room both in good enough shape that I wouldn't be embarrassed to have anyone knock on the door! I know I sound like a paid advertisement or something, but her system has truly done wonders for me.

[fessie]

We, of course, steadfastedly ignore the very few areas where she is behind and dismiss them as "unimportant" or "she would be doing that if we thought it was a priority". ;)

I was at the thrift store with my twins the other day and this lady carrying her toddler asked how old they were. "Almost seven months", I replied, "How old is your daughter?" "Fifteen months, but she's been walking since 10". Grrrr. Next time I'm ready: "Oh, my kids skipped walking entirely. They're into levitating."

[fessie]

I gave them random food when we would eat. A taste of this and that and if they liked it I gave them more. I followed their lead. Kids are pretty good at saying "I'm hungry" As time passed they just naturally ate more and drank less...

Now, see, that's my instinct. Only we eat too much crap, I'd have to make real dinner instead of relying on frozen pizza. But it makes a lot of sense to just do things that way. You mentioned movies - sounds like you don't think all forms of entertainment are evil? I let mine watch a little PBS or Noggin here & there.

mcms_cricket - I'm enjoying the book LordVor recommended in an earlier thread - it just came today. Whole Foods for Babies and Toddlers by the le leche league (they didn't capitalize it so I won't either). Seems to be full of very explicit instructions that are easy to follow, plus plenty of opinions to add to my confusion. ;) Maybe WE'LL end up eating like THEY should :p .

norinew I already bookmarked flylady, that looks like a hoot & also useful, thanks! Today I went to the Dr. to get some help for my PPD (which I mentioned in a thread last week). I'm glad to be addressing that problem!

lorene guilt & sadness are the problem with being a SAHM too! As adorable as their little faces are, I just can't be with them every minute of the day & my energy never seems equal to their needs (if I even knew what every need was!). My daughter can't be bothered to roll over, of course I'm not stressing about that at all. :rolleyes:

[fessie]

Oh yeah, and one more beef about WTEWYE - they keep talking about raisins. Your baby should be able to see a raisin, pick up a raisin --- who's giving babies raisins? I thought those were choking hazards! Get off the raisin already.

[Hedda Rosa]

Yikes, how did I miss this thread for 3 whole days?

Twiddlette is just 2 and her baby brother or sister is coming in February. Seeing everyone's comments on how to entertain 2 is helpful... and reassuring that we will make it through it. I feel terrible about the blow her little ego is going to take when the new baby is born.

What steams me about the What to expect series is how they are, lets face it, practically the bible of parenting books, and yet they've got terrible breastfeeding advice. You'd think any book that guilts you about eating one cookie a month would be all over the extended breastfeeding. I read the Toddler Years one every now and again, but I don't find it resonates.

We did a combo of co-sleeping and CIO, and the CIO was hard but worth it. For anyone who is thinking about this route I recoomend Weisbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child over Ferber. He's where I learned to put the kiddo down for a nap about 45 min to 1.5 hours after she woke...someone else mentioned this up-thread and it really works.

norinew My dd has a speech delay too, she tests at about 6 months behind in her expressive language; her receptive and general development are fine though. Do you have any suggestions for dealing with her frustration? She just looses it sometimes when I don't understand her and that drives me right to the edge with her. Lately I've been telling her frankly "I don't understand you, can we vind another way?" and that seems to help a bit. Oh and I'm a half-hearted flybaby...I don't live and die for my kitchen sink but I do find a routine is helpful for keeping the hous under control.

I wish I could share some pics with you all, but I just don't feel comfortble doing it. However I'm really enjoying looking at everyone else's darlings!

Twiddle

[JohnT]

Eh, Sophie was a bit (maybe more than a bit) delayed in her speaking, but it was no big deal. We attributed it to a number of things:

1. Daddy was speech delayed.... quite a bit, actually. I didn't start speaking until I was three, and when I did it was in some language that only my brother could understand. I got over it during my fourth year and haven't looked back.
2. Indulgent parents who understand what she's trying to say even if we don't understand what she's exactly saying.
3. Lack of peer pressure/examples. Since Sophie doesn't go to any day-school, she doesn't deal a lot with kids her own age and therefore hasn't really had to improve her speaking ability.
4. Sophie was never a "word" speaker... she always wanted to speak complete sentences or paragraphs. No "TV?" for her (with pointing fingers), it was always "mumble, mumble, mumble, TV?"

She also went through a stage where she wouldn't say names, especially hers. Ask her what her name was and she'd thump her chest proudly and say "Baby!" Insist that her name was actually "Sophie" and she would get upset. She also wouldn't say her animal names, rather referring to them by the sounds they make. She's over that now, but I have to tell you - her asking if we were going to have chicken for dinner was the most precious thing: "We mumble, mumble, eat, mumble, mumble, the bawk-bawk-bawk?" Absolutely adorable.

Now, of course, it's a different story. She still mumbles a bit, but her ability to make herself understood has grown tremendously in the past couple of months. We are now subjected to a bunch of "why not's" as in

"Sophie, I don't want you feeding the dogs!"
"Why not?"

Which isn't as irritating as the following (new for August!):

"Sophie, why aren't you eating your food?" (Or somesuch issue)
"I don't like it, Dada."
"Why don't you like it?"
"Because I said so!"

My #1 rule of parenting: They'll be just fine. And, surprisingly enough, that's been the case.

[JohnT]

And when she was frustrated about us not understanding her, we'd tell her:

"Honey, we just don't understand you. Why don't you try to speak a little slower, sort... of... like... this?"

(We never talked to her as a baby, which might not have helped this issue. FWIW.)

[norinew]

Originally posted by twiddle
norinew My dd has a speech delay too, she tests at about 6 months behind in her expressive language; her receptive and general development are fine though. Do you have any suggestions for dealing with her frustration? She just looses it sometimes when I don't understand her and that drives me right to the edge with her.
twiddle, how old is your girl? I got my youngest into speech therapy quickly, and they started teaching her rudimentary sign language. She picked right up on it, even to the point of making up her own signs for things she hadn't learned yet! Now, she almost never uses her signs (although she'll still occasionally sign "more" for some reason). I'm blessed in that, she's the kind of thinker that when we can't understand her, she's very good at finding other ways of showing us. Other speech-delayed children (especially autistic children, but I don't know why this wouldn't work for any little kid) respond well to a picture-board; a laminated board with pictures of every-day objects they can point to.

Oh and I'm a half-hearted flybaby...I don't live and die for my kitchen sink but I do find a routine is helpful for keeping the hous under control.
I don't live and die by mine, either; in fact, there are (gasp) dirty dishes in it right now! But the routines and especially the decluttering (and the idea that I'm never behind) have been a blessing to me!

[norinew]

JohnT's story about Sophie and the chickens reminded me of an adorable experience with my little one a couple of weeks ago (we are allowed to relate too-cute-for-words stories here, aren't we? :D). Because Mariah is speech-delayed, I often ask her direct questions to encourage her to talk to me. So, a couple of weeks ago, I said "Mommy has yummy chickens in the Crock Pot. What do chickens say?" Her: "Nothing" Me: "Yes, honey, chickens say 'cluck-cluck-cluck'" Her: "Not the ones in the Crock Pot". Cracked me right up!

[JohnT]

(We never talked to her as a baby, which might not have helped this issue. FWIW.)

Er, that should be "We never talked to her like a baby, which..." :o

To make it perfectly clear, lest our good name be dragged through the mud: we never used baby-talk.

[Flutterby]

<snip> How do you all do it?

I don't. Not all of it. My Mom helps a LOT (I live with her) I don't know what I'd do without her. Especially now as my school schedule (which is nigh impossible to change) has class starting at 8am and drop off for the Dayhome starts at 7:30. To be at school on time, I have to catch the bus at 7:15 at the latest heading for the campus and that's without having any deviations (you can see the conflict here). We share the chores fairly evenly though.

Flutterby you may find that the early morning classes are actually a good thing. I say that as a confirmed non-morning person. You're probably going to be up early anyway because of the baby. I used to sleep as late as possible and then try to get ready and rush to work in about 20 minutes. Now that I've got the little one I find that my whole internal clock has reset itself -something I wouldn't have thought possible. It's nice to have the extra time.

Actually the time I've spent having to be up early with Caterpie.. as soon as he went to sleep I dropped off again and I didn't get moving until closer to 10, except when he got hungry or needed a change. I wake up to go to school about the time he wakes up for his morning milk, then drifts off for another hour or so. He doesn't have breakfast until ~8am then plays a few hours before he naps again. He's a pretty easy baby, but I just know he's gonna be a little imp. Even now if he's heading somewhere he's not supposed to he stops, look back at you and gives you this grin that just says 'I melt your heart and I know it, so I can get away with this.' then continues on. Er the point of that rambling is that my internal clock will take a bit to set. I've had sleep problems since my tween years and though I can sometimes get a pretty decent pattern going often it only lasts so long before it resets itself again and I have to start all over.

As for food, he showed interest around 5 months so we started with rice cereal and added in veggies, then some fruits then did oatmeal and since I can't find wheat cereal we've been giving him some of the Mixed (which is oats, rice and wheat). Raisins? Nope, we got some cheerios and crackers. He loves them and is getting quite adept at picking them up. Just follow their cues, mix up the meals a bit once you know what they aren't allergic to and they'll be fine.

I haven't really bothered with reading books lately, though I do get a couple of Stage Development emails every month with tips on stuff from a couple parenting websites. He seems to be doing pretty good.

I just have to share! He started standing up the past couple of days! Holding on to the couch or his crib railings, but standing up. That and crawling properly, before today he's just been doing the army crawl and he can still move faster that way than crawling but he seems to be getting the hang of it.

[C3]

Oh yeah, and one more beef about WTEWYE - they keep talking about raisins. Your baby should be able to see a raisin, pick up a raisin --- who's giving babies raisins? I thought those were choking hazards! Get off the raisin already.

The whole raisin thing made for endless jokes in our house. The phrase they use is "pay attention to a raisin." You better pay attention to your raisin, honey, he's getting lonely over there. Ha!

Anyway, I guess I should join in this thread...I've been reading since day one, but don't really have much to add. My son is 13 months old and I can't seem to remember anything from the past year. It's all a big blur. Luckily, sleeping wasn't an issue for us - he's been a huge fan of his crib from the beginning (well, from about 2 months). We take him in there, lay him down, hand him his blankie and he's snoring (and yes, he snores...made for some very worrisome nights at the beginning).

The feeding thing I found very confusing, also. Nobody tells you what to do specifically. I couldn't manage breastfeeding, so my baby was formula fed after a couple months. It's very specific - bottles are measured out precisely and he ate in pretty regular intervals. When we got past introducing foods to him one at a time, I had no idea how to proceed. I just gave him his regular bottle, then a bit of whatever was on hand - baby food from a jar, soup, mushed up potatoes. Now he gets a sippy of milk, which he drinks along with his meal and then carries around with him afterward, and he eats pretty much whatever we're having. Last night he had chicken and rice - our meal - plus cooked carrots. He usually has fruit for breakfast and some sort of pasta with vegetables for lunch.

The hardest thing I find at this point is figuring out green vegetables he can eat. Cooked spinach is fine, but things like broccoli seem too difficult for him.

[norinew]

C3, when my oldest was about 14 months old, we invested in a mini food processor. This allowed us to feed her whatever we were having for dinner. We would dump some meat, some veggies, some rice or potatoes, and process it all together. If it was too dry this way, we would add a little broth of some sort. We bought the processor at a flea market for $5.00, and, 16 years later, we're still using it!

[C3]

C3, when my oldest was about 14 months old, we invested in a mini food processor. This allowed us to feed her whatever we were having for dinner. We would dump some meat, some veggies, some rice or potatoes, and process it all together. If it was too dry this way, we would add a little broth of some sort. We bought the processor at a flea market for $5.00, and, 16 years later, we're still using it!

Yeah, I need to get one of those. We just (three months ago) sold everything we owned and moved to another country, so we're slowly building our household again. I'll need a food processor soon to make Christmas cookies, anyway :) so I should probably make the investment sooner rather than later.

[fessie]

Er, that should be "We never talked to her like a baby, which..." :o

To make it perfectly clear, lest our good name be dragged through the mud: we never used baby-talk.

I'm glad you clarified this; I was wondering how you managed and if you were mimes! :p

[Abbie Carmichael]

Can anyone tell me the difference in a girl's size 4T and a regular 4?

[Flutterby]

Isn't the T supposed to mean toddler?

ie 4 Toddler instad of 4 regular girl's

[Abbie Carmichael]

Yes, but the regular size 4 clothes I've seen look about the same size as a 4T.

[Flutterby]

Hmm.. I really couldn't say then.

[tanookie]

I think the difference depends on the manufacturer. I find you really need to hold clothes up to the kid.

I believe the difference lies in the proportions. A toddler has more torso and shorter arms and legs but as they grow they get lankier until their proportions catch up to where they will be as adults. So a size 4 is a kid who needs a size 4 (longer arms and legs) but a 4T would be more for a large toddler.

I find that my daughter needs a longer dress - a size 6 - because she has such a long body that anything else shows her bum and looks like a long shirt. But when I shop for pants she only needs a 4/5 because her legs haven't caught up. (She turned 3 in May - we get too many wardrobes a year!) My 11 month old is such a little porker that his torso needs a 2T but again the legs are usually too long.

[mcms_cricket]

We discovered last night that the reason the 'Lil Cricket has been so fussy the last two nights is because she's got a tooth coming in!!!! WOW! We are very, very proud. That explains why she cried all through her dinner!

Glad to know the whole food thing is confusing to others as well. It just seems like there's such a gap between feed-them-one-new-thing-at-a-time and they-eat-what-we-eat. I guess I just need to relax already! I'm thinking that in another couple of weeks or so, I'll have the daycare start giving her a small meal during the day. Part of me wants to rush this along as I'm getting real tired of pumping 3 times a day. I really want to try to keep her on breast milk until she's a year but some days I just get sooo tired of it. And we've always had lots of trouble with latching on - I'm just waiting now (with great trepidation) for her to try using that tooth on me.

norinew - I started looking at the flylady site yesterday when you first mentioned it. Thanks for the tip. It's not a very well-organized web site (a bit confusing as to where to start) but I will read through it all. Oh, and the food-processor idea - I like that tip too.

Flutterby - yeah, it will take a while for your clock to reset (and perhaps yours won't). It's been six months and only recently have I found that it's not quite as hard to get up at 6:15 as it used to be. It's hard, understand, but not quite as hard. Part of it is that I just don't have a choice. It takes about forty minutes to nurse her and then change her diapers and get her dressed. And it takes me about the same time to get ready, then I have to pack a lunch, make sure the breast pump parts are all packed, strap her into the car seat (Mr. Cricket does a lot of that which helps) and get going.

Fessie Your raisin comment is cracking me up - still.

Twiddle (and someone else who recommended this) This weekend I'll try putting her down for a nap 45 minutes after she's been up.

I've been hitting the sales at Target and Kohls to pick up clothes for next summer and I'm just guessing at sizes. Who knows what she'll be able to wear. One thing that never occurred to me when I bought baby clothes as presents was to consider the seasons. I mean, who would think about that? But we have lots of brand-new baby stuff that she'll never be able to wear because by the time she fit into it, it was too hot to wear (and she's got stuff that she won't be able to wear because by the time she fits into it, it'll be too cold to wear).

Wow - it's been less than a week and two milestones - First Crawl and First Tooth.

[tanookie]

I've been hitting the sales at Target and Kohls to pick up clothes for next summer and I'm just guessing at sizes. Who knows what she'll be able to wear. One thing that never occurred to me when I bought baby clothes as presents was to consider the seasons. I mean, who would think about that? But we have lots of brand-new baby stuff that she'll never be able to wear because by the time she fit into it, it was too hot to wear (and she's got stuff that she won't be able to wear because by the time she fits into it, it'll be too cold to wear).

My new baby shopping has changed a lot since I became a mom! Do you have a consignment shop near you? I love shopping there - whole wardrobes for $30 instead of just 2 outfits.

Maybe we need a baby clothes swap? It will be time to sort the fall clothes soon and decide what will fit. I've discovered we're at an awkward shoe size - I'm looking for size 12 sneakers. Everything seems to stop at 10 1/2 and pick up at 1. Grr.

[fessie]

CLOTHES SWAP!!! That's brilliant!

As you might imagine, I've got lots of baby stuff here - they just outgrew their bucket-style car seats. I'd thought about selling stuff on eBay, but it's kind of a hassle. The newborn clothes already went to my favorite thrift store, but I've got 3-6s out the wazoo!

Twiddle More February babies! Congratulations! Are you planning to find out the gender beforehand?

Wow, mcms_cricket! Sounds like it's exciting at your house! Mine are teething, too; we buy the BIG tylenol.

Re: feeding, I'm going to give my babies some mushed up avocado today, we'll see what happens. So far they seem to like solids, I've been using both regular food & those jars. They seem to prefer regular food, but I'm not always confident that I'm preparing it correctly. Like one day I took a notion to fix some squash, since the ped gave me the green light on yellow vegetables. Well, I sliced & nuked the darn thing until it was steamy hot, then put it in the food processor and let it cool. Looked ground to me. Daughter wouldn't touch it, and son (who'll pretty much eat anything) was making these awful, tragic faces in his sleep all night! I felt terrible.

C3 you're pretty intrepid, moving to another country with a toddler! What's that like? I hear you about the blur! Course part of that is I can't ever find my glasses (memory's gone, too!) Ha!

John_T your laid-back attitude is admirable, although I'm not sure I'll ever get there. I guess people HAVE been raising babies for a while, though, huh. ;)

[Kilt-wearin' man]

Well, tomorrow's the day we become a family of four - the Wee Kilt-wearin' Lad makes his debut! It'll be interesting to see how the Kilt-wearin' Lad reacts to his new brother, and how my wife and I react to the sudden increase in dirty diapers...wish us luck. I'll be disappearing from the message board for a while now...

And for the record, not only do we not baby-talk our son, nobody else is allowed to, either. It annoys the hell out of us. As far as we can tell, the Lad's speech development is right on track...John T, I wholeheartedly agree with your habit of talking to a baby like a real person. Of course, we're not trying to have adult conversations...but we're also not asking if he wants a "drinky-dinky" or anything like that...

Not "Does baby want his widdle bwanky for beddy-bie? Yes, he wants his bwanky..."

It's "Time for bed! Do you want your blanket? Grab your blanket! There ya go!"

Big difference. I can't believe people actually baby-talk their kids.

[mcms_cricket]

Well, tomorrow's the day we become a family of four - the Wee Kilt-wearin' Lad makes his debut! It'll be interesting to see how the Kilt-wearin' Lad reacts to his new brother, and how my wife and I react to the sudden increase in dirty diapers...wish us luck. I'll be disappearing from the message board for a while now...

Wow! Congratulations in advance.

[fessie]

Hey, big congratulations Kilt-wearin man! Hope you've been catching up on your sleep lately! "wee" - tee-hee, that' cute! I'm impressed that you at least acknowledge the existence of dirty diapers - my Hubby has developed a curious blindness where that's concerned. Truthfully, though, double diaper duty hasn't been all that bad, you just get faster at it. It's when they're both sick that it gets dicey.

Re: baby talk - okay, I try not to do it. But since I've said "Mommy get you bottle?" about 3,000 times/day, it's starting to run together. We were all at a friend's house and their daughter asked "What's a gitchubaba?"

[JohnT]

This morning, Laura decided that Sophie won't be wearing diapers for her 3rd birthday party (early October). Wish us luck! ;)

And yes, Fessie, people have been raising kids for quite a while now and the human race has been progressing all that time. Trust me: you'll do just fine.

It also helps (maybe) in the fact that we didn't have Sophie until I was 34, mom 32. I can't imagine how it would be like to have a kid in my early-20s, much less as a teenager... I'm sure the extra decade's worth of perspective might have helped in developing my "laid back" attitude. So I'm pretty much going on instinct here.

We knew the gender as soon as such a thing could be determined. "We didn't develop this technology as so not to use it" was our attitude on the subject. Also, it makes designing the baby's room that much easier.

We also got to plan the delivery as Kilt Wearing Man implies they're doing. We were asked "do you want to have the kid on Tuesday or Wednesday?" We selected Wednesday, showed up at the hospital at 6:30am, Laura was induced around 7:30, and Sophie made her appearence just 6 hours later, at 1:30pm (and people say that kids aren't born at convenient times - ours was born during lunch hour!) It went like clockwork. No natural childbirth hoohaw for us - again, God didn't give us epidurals as to not to use them. ;)

[Flutterby]

mcms_cricket Yay for first crawl and tooth! Hopefully it goes quickly. I find a damp face cloth that's been frozen makes a good chew toy and helps to soothe those hurting gums. I'm pretty sure Caterpie is teething again, I find he really doesn't like to eat anything when he's teething, just drink his milk. Which is ho he was yesterday, as well as being kinda fussy. And my internal clock has always been fuggered. I can get up at 7 am or earlier but on a regular basis I need a morning coffee or else I'm in a daze until almost noon. (I've even tested it, went a few months without coffee. I was just groggy every morning.) Ah well. I'm doing fine so far *crosses fingers that it continues this way*

We hit the sale for clothes as well, I'm also lucky enough to have a cousin who is about a year older than my son. So about half of the clothes I have are sent from my uncle. Which is good, he's growing so fast he already wears a good portion of them.

Kilt-wearin' man: Congrats on the wee Kilt wearin' lad. Is your wife having a c-section or induction? Etiher way hope it goes well and she recovers quickly.

JohnT That's how I felt about the epidural. What a relief! I managed to sleep more than 3 minutes. (Before I went to the hospital I was sleeping on the floor, waking up every few minutes for a contraction before I drifted off again.) Of course I ended up in a room next to a lady who went the natural route. She gave birth before I did and scared me badly with how she was screaming (seperate rooms, but I could hear her through the walls.)

[Kilt-wearin' man]

My wife (whom, it has been suggested to me, might be referred to as Off-Kilter...but not if I value my life, she has informed me...) had to have a C-section with the Lad, and our doctor is concerned about the strength of the scar if she goes into labor with the Wee Lad so she's having another C-section tomorrow morning. Safety factor and all...probably a good thing, as the Wee Lad ain't so wee - he's being delivered about two weeks early and they're estimating his weight at about 8.5 pounds. That's a pound and a half heavier than his big brother was at birth.

As for diapers, Fessie, my oldest nephew was born when I was 9 years old, so I've been changing diapers for the past 23 years on a regular basis (I've got nieces and nephews between his age and 7 years old, and several of my friends have babies.) I often wind up with dirty diaper duties, especially recently as my wife has found it quite difficult to wrangle the Lad when he gets squirmy, what with having to reach around the Wee Lad and his heated swimming pool. :D

My new pet peeve - restaraunts and stores that don't put changing tables in the mens' restrooms. :rolleyes:

[Flutterby]

Ah yes, better safe than sorry with a previous c-section. And 8.5 lbs! My boy was 7lbs but I think that might have been because I didn't eat all that well for about half the pegnancy. He was smaller than I was when born but he's making up for it now.

That's annoying as all heck. Dad's change diapers too!

Even now I've encountered places where they have no change tables at all and no counterspace to put a purse, nevermind change a baby. So we had to settle on the floor in the handicapped stall because the floor space in the main area was pretty small as well.

[Kiki]

What a great thread! Can I get in on this?!?

I have a 7 year old daughter and a 5 year old son. Actually, today is my son's birthday. At this time 5 years ago I was in labor! Wow! Time really flies. It seems like just yesterday I was bringing him home from the hospital!! My girl just turned 7 a week and a half ago so my kids are 2 years apart. (2 years, 11 days, and 54 minutes to be exact.) :p

I was blessed with wonderful sleepers too. My daughter was sleeping through the night when she was about 10 weeks old and that time gradually increased. My son was sleeping through the night at about 12 weeks. Both were great nappers and I never had to use CIO or anything with them. I would feed them and hold them for awhile and when they started looking sleepy I put them in their crib. There were times they were fussy or cried because they didn't want to go to bed but those times were few and far between.

My daughter just started 1st grade and my son will be going to pre-school in the spring. Since they have August and September birthdays we decided not to send them to kindergarten until they were 6. So far it's been a great decision because my DD (dear daughter) did wonderful in kindergarten and is, so far, doing great in 1st grade too. I just know that when DS (dear son) starts kindergarten next year he's going to do great too!! Most doctors, pediatricians and even school teachers and other school officials will tell you that for kids with July, August, and September birthdays it really is better to hold off a year before sending them to school. I'm glad we did that. Anyone else with July/Aug/Sept babies that didn't send them to school until they were 6? Anyone that sent them when they were 5??

Kilt-wearin' man - congrats on your upcoming arrival! He sounds like a might big lad too! It's probalby a good thing your wife is having a c-section!! My son weighed 8 lbs. 10 oz. at birth... talk about a big boy. Be sure to give us all his stats after the birth.

I love talking about my family and my kids and there's so much I want to put here but I'll stop... for now. :) I hope this thread continues to grow and I hope we can all learn from each other. Also, I'd be happy to answer questions or share my experiences with anyone who might have a question/concern about their kids... from birth to 7 years old that is! I've been through diapers, potty training, sibling rivelry, cutting teeth, losing teeth, ER visits, learning to ride a bike, how hard it is to be the Easter Bunny, Santa, and the Tooth Fairy, first day of school, swimming lessons, nap time, bedtime, bathtime, sick kids, etc., etc. Anyway... I hope I can share some of my experiences with y'all.

[fessie]

Hey Kiki!

Sounds like you've done a lot of raisin' over at your house (nyuck nyuck)!

[mcms_cricket]

Hey Kiki!

Sounds like you've done a lot of raisin' over at your house (nyuck nyuck)!

OK, I really wanted to post some snarky comment about how BAD a joke that is but I can't - I'm giggling too hard......

[Hedda Rosa]

Twiddle More February babies! Congratulations! Are you planning to find out the gender beforehand?


Oh you bet! I love knowing before hand. A hint for anyone else who wants to find out the gender: Drink OJ instead of the water before your ultrasound...the baby will wriggle around and give you a better chance of getting the money-shot than if it was still.

mcms_cricket Congrats on the crawling and the tooth! And good luck on the early nap, let us know how it goes.

norinew My daughter is 2, and I really regret not signing with her from the begining. Her speech therapist is teaching her some signs, but I'm not yet sure if she's picking up on them.

Oh and never mind a baby clothes swap, how about a maternity clothes swap?? ;)

Twiddle

[fessie]

Do you think seven months is too early to try to teach signing? I found some ASL webpages with enough vocabulary to start - 'cept the sign for "milk" is to "make alternating motions with both hands as if pulling teats." That's a little graphic for me :eek: .

[dangermom]

OK, I have to bring this back because I missed a couple of days, and I have stuff to share now.

DangerBaby is 17 months old today. She is as cute as a button, and starting to say a lot of stuff (today's word: "bow" for "bounce"). But what we're really happy about is that she finally took a few steps on her own today! Yes, our kid was still not walking; she's been quite happy with butt-scooting and bunny-hop-crawling. Amusing, yes, but it was starting to get a little worrying. So, yay DangerBaby!

Meanwhile, DangerGirl, age 4, has been taking "Kiddie Kung-Fu," a little class where they hop around and talk a lot about listening and respect. She has very little physical coordination, so it's been good for her, and I think we'll sign up for another session later on. Today was the last day, so Daddy came to see her do her stuff, which was nice.

Tomorrow we're going out of town for the weekend, to see my friend who just had a baby which will be blessed on Sunday. Eek, it's a lot of driving, so wish us luck.

[Aspidistra]

I started signing with my Babygirl when she was about six months. I decided to start with "drink". Every day at one-or-another mealtime, I'd be sure to offer her her drink (she wasn't very good at drinking at this stage, of course ... we were practising!) and sign "drink" just before I got it and as I gave it to her.

Anyway, the weeks rolled by, and occasionally at mealtimes I'd see what looked like a little wavery "drink" sign ... or maybe it was just random waving of her hands, but I'd be sure to give her her drink then anyway, just to encourage it.

Then, one day at about eight months, she did a really strong, obvious "drink" sign. And I gave her a drink. And this incredible look of GLEE came over her face - like 'wow, when I do this I can make them DO STUFF! WooHoo!' And she drank her drink.

And then about a week later she realised she could get the same effect by pointing and beckoning. And she's never done a single sign since! Or, at least, not one of my signs. She does her signs, though, and since I'm not so perverse as to pretend I don't know what she means, it looks like that's where we're staying. So "hungry" is "smack the lips together and look hopeful" ; "finished" is "push on the tray and tug at the bib" ; "pick me up" is .... well, we all know "pick me up", don't we!

She's one now. Today, in fact! I'm hangin' out for her first words...

[Abbie Carmichael]

My new pet peeve - restaraunts and stores that don't put changing tables in the mens' restrooms. :rolleyes:

My city just got a new Super Wal-Mart. In the layaway section there are 3 bathrooms: one for men, one for women and then one they call a "family" bathroom.

Let's say dad brings his 2 little girls to shop and they've gotta pee. Instead of hanging out in the women's restroom, he can take them into the family one :)

Handy, huh?

[mcms_cricket]

My city just got a new Super Wal-Mart. In the layaway section there are 3 bathrooms: one for men, one for women and then one they call a "family" bathroom.

Let's say dad brings his 2 little girls to shop and they've gotta pee. Instead of hanging out in the women's restroom, he can take them into the family one :)

Handy, huh?


I really don't like Wal-Mart - but that's pretty cool, I have to admit.

I never thought about changing tables in restrooms until I had to deal with it myself.

[tanookie]

I find myself rating places by the bathrooms. I say things like "Oh - that mall has great bathrooms." or "That store has no place to change kids!"

The boy turned 11 months yesterday. He wants to walk so badly and every time he lets go of the couch and falls he gets so angry.

The girl has been very whiney lately. She wants to be my baby. I love her but having a 42 inch tall - 40 pound 3 year old lying in your lap squirming gets old after a while.

They also like to have screaming contests. My hearing will never be the same.

[fessie]

And then about a week later she realised she could get the same effect by pointing and beckoning. And she's never done a single sign since!

*snort* That made me laugh out loud! Nice to meet you, Aspidista!

dangermom Yay dangerbaby! Congrats on that walking! That's great! You know, my kids aren't all that physical, either, at least my daughter isn't; it's good to hear about enrichment opportunities that will be available down the road. Good luck on that road trip!

Kiki did you read that thread somebody started recently re: their baby's first day of school? You'd get a kick out of it, made me cry. I think I posted on it, so you could search using my name if you missed it. I was an older baby in school & have heard many people (including my aunt, who teaches preschool) say they think it's really a good idea.

JohnT I agree with you, both on the uses of technology and how difficult it must be to be a young parent. Although my hero Vicki points out that "nature designed it for young people to have babies and grow up together"; for us, that would've been a trainwreck! I've been wanting to ask you men about the adjustment to fatherhood - was it just instinctual for you from day one? I've noticed that although my Hubby has just as much love for our babies as I do, his patience runs out fast. I thought maybe the difference between us had a lot to do with gender programming, but I could be wrong.

Twiddle I'm still wearing my maternity clothes (ha-ha, not quite). Actually I got rid of mine ASAP. But that is a great idea. tanookie how does swapping at SDMB work?

And a general question re: cutting teeth - with two of them fussing, I have to say I'm not hesitant to pull out the Tylenol. They're both over 18 lbs. so I have the right dosage info & my ped says it's fine to give it daily if necessary. Any drawbacks to doing it this way? They both have tons of teething toys that they use happily, but when it's time to give them the bottle my daughter in particular will screech and pull back, even though she's hungry. In the evening, too, they tend to fuss more. I just saw the ped Tuesday to rule out other problems & the ears are AOK.

Happy birthdays to everybody - mine turn 7 months tomorrow. Time flies!

[Flutterby]

As far as I know, as long as they are getting the right dose and not going over the max per day they should be fine. I try not to give too much tylenol myself but if he's shrieking and fussy it's sweet blessed relief because then he calms down enough to drink some milk and sleep for a little bit at least. I did try the ora-gel but that didn't go over to well. I think the numbness kinda freaked him out.

I'm somewhat haphazard with the babysigns.. but then there's also my Mom who forgets and the dayhome lady.. so I'm not worrying about it too much.

[tanookie]

You've chatted with your doc and he's fine with the tylenol so go for it. A few days of tylenol that helps keep them sleeping and eating as normal is hardly overmedicating. I'm guessing they are starting to cut some of the harder teeth? We've been having lots of tears as the molars come in. I am also pretty liberal with the motrin for teething pain. A little oragel for the immediate relief and some motrin to keep the pain at bay.

[angelicate]

Do you think seven months is too early to try to teach signing? I found some ASL webpages with enough vocabulary to start - 'cept the sign for "milk" is to "make alternating motions with both hands as if pulling teats." That's a little graphic for me :eek: .

I didn't start signing with my daughter until she was about 13 months old or older. It took her a little while to pick it up, but once she did, she latched onto it. I'd started with teaching her "more" and noticed on July 4th, as we were watching fireworks, she would sign "more" every time one had faded from the sky. I was so excited! Now she does "more" "cup" "fish" and "all done". A really great site for baby signing info is signingbaby.com (http://www.signingbaby.com/). A friend of mine runs it and I never would have started signing with Em if it weren't for her. It's a very informative, well-done site.

My little girl is 18 months and is an unstoppable little ball of energy. Luckily, she's usually a very happy little unstoppable ball of energy, so it's pretty nice over here.
She sleeps pretty well. We never did CIO, when she was nursing I nursed her to sleep (I know, I know, but there wasn't any way to prevent it, really.) Once she stopped nursing, I moved her to her crib, and she adjusted immediately (She was about 8 months old.) She'd still wake at night for a bottle, but she'd go right back to sleep. It took her no time to wean from her night time bottles, and now she sleeps with a pacifier, which is the next thing I want to get rid of. She doesn't have it during the day, though, so it's not so bad. She'll have a 2 1/2 hour nap in the middle of the day. She's had a little bit of trouble getting to sleep here recently, but I think that's mainly due to the fact that dad was away for 6 months (military deployment) and just got back last month. She's getting back to a point where we can lay her down, tell her goodnight and she'll go right to sleep, though.

Can I post pictures too? ;)

Here is a pic of Em playing her bongos. (http://stellaluna.org/lj/082704/1.jpg) People think we're crazy for buying her drums, but they don't have drumsticks, so they're not loud. I'm no masochist.

Probably one of my favorite pictures, ever. (http://www.stellaluna.org/lj/0611/crazynoodlebaby.jpg)

[Kiki]

That spaghetti pic is awesome angelicate!! I have pictures of both of my kids eating spaghetti by themselves... they're priceless!

fessie, I'll have to check out that 1st day of school thread. Sounds interesting. I didn't cry when my little girl started kindergarten or first grade. She was so excited to be going so it was really hard for me to feel sad. All these other parents are standing around either openly crying or fighting back tears and I was just all smiles because my little girl was all smiles. I have a feeling that next year when my son starts kindergarten... things will be different. He's kind of shy like his mommy (my girl is so outgoing it's kind of scary!) so he may have a hard time and be a little scared on the first day and that will make me sad. I'll just try not to cry until he's in class!

As for teething, I always alternated baby Tylenol and baby Motrin. I'd give a dose of Tylenol and when it was time for the next dose I gave Motrin. That way their little body didn't build up a tolerance for either one. You could also take a clean wet washcloth and put it in the freezer to get it good and cold and let them chew/suck on it. The cold will numb their gums a little.

[norinew]

I got hit by a kidney stone attack Tuesday night right after I'd put the little one to bed, and it lasted all through yesterday. So I wasn't on the 'puter at all; just laying in bed popping narcotics every four hours. I'm not even going to try to catch up on all the posts since then, I'm just going to jump right in where I am.

mcms_cricket, about the flylady site; yes, it's somewhat disorganized. The real trick is to sign up for the emails. You'll get a bunch of them every day, and even if you delete them, having only read the subject line, you'll get brainwashed by them over time. They will remind you to check your laundry, figure out what's for dinner, etc. Like I said before, it's not for everyone. It's been wonderful for me!
And I don't think two is too young to be learning signs at all.

kilt-wearin'-man, congrats on the new arrival!

[fessie]

norinew - oh no! So sorry to hear about your kidney stone! Do you have problems with that frequently?

Doesn't it really stink when you get sick now? Moms don't get time to recuperate, do we!? I'm loving flylady.com, thanks for the link! - still haven't seen the bottom of my sink yet, though ;).

That frozen washcloth trick is a good one, baby girl really liked it. Of course, today she threw up her 7:00 a.m. feeding (when she wakes up at 6:00, she's usually hungry by 7:00 so I give her 4 oz or so). Not sure if that means an illness is on the way - so far she's behaving as her usual ornery self, no fever or symptoms. Baby boy is just hilarious, he wants to climb and wrestle all over me, bounces up and down, and is a major toe sucker. He kept his feeding down.

angelicate I like her hat, too!

tanookie I don't know re: the teeth, she just got her first two in the lower front. I can't see anything else going on. Those molars do sound painful!

You guys & the bathrooms cracked me up, that is so true. I love taking the kids to the Brookfield Zoo because it's got all these wide grassy areas so you can change a diaper anywhere - my idea of heaven!

aspidistra here's that r I owe you!

So how do you Moms & Dads feel about gender toys? I'm pretty liberal in most ways & never imagined myself directing my kids towards gender-specific toys. But it's so funny, having this boy & girl - he's physical, loves to roughhouse & is fascinated by how things work. She's far more passive, does not like being jostled in any way, and loves faces. So when my Hubby said he was going to buy baby son a football (for his 7-month birthday), I recommended a doll for baby girl. Now doesn't that sound old-fashioned?!

Many years ago I knew a former psych grad student who'd done her work trying to prove that baby boys & girls weren't different and that all of the behaviors we associate with the genders were taught, not inherent. Bzzzzzzt! Thank you for playing - they couldn't prove it. I do see that here, how different these two are, and I'm surprised at how stereotypical it is. 'Course it'll probably change a thousand times.

Enough from me - Have a great day & weekend everybody!!

[Flutterby]

I figure I'll let him play with what he wants. He wants Barbies, I'll get him a Barbie.. (okay and Ken).

He's already fascinated by cars (we have a couple of big ones that he can grasp and pick up, but not shove down his throat) but that I think is mainly because he can chase after it when either he or I push it along the floor.

[norinew]

fessie, unfortunately, kidney stones are way too common in my life. I've had a couple dozen of them over the last 28 years! In fact, I started feeling crappy again last night, so I went to the doctor's this morning. Good news: I don't have an infection; more potential good news: he thinks the pain may be caused by the movement of a stone he tried and failed to remove a couple of months ago; he said if it's on the move, maybe it'll move to a place where he can get at it.
Being sick is tough, but it's been so much a part of my life that my kids have had to learn to work with it. This morning, I was laying on the sofa, and my 4-year-old was bringing me toys to play with.

Gender toys: my two older girls were girlie girls right from the start. My 13-year-old still is (collector Barbies, porcelain dolls, etc.). My little one, however, has just as many Matchbox cars as Barbies. She likes "girl" stuff and "boy" stuff. Doesn't bother me a bit.

[C3]

RE: Gender toys

We were recently over at a friends house. They have a little girl who is just a little bit older than my son. She was playing with a toy stroller and doll, pushing it around. My son went over, turned the stroller over, and started playing with the wheels. It was pretty funny.

At home, he has a bunch of stuffed dolls and animals that he hugs and cuddles, but he does have a fascination with wheels, so he has quite a collection of trucks going on. His favorite is a set of soft, squishy trucks from Baby Einstein. There are six of them, all different (fire truck, school bus, ice cream truck, etc.) and the wheels move, so he can roll them across the floor. No little parts. They're great.

[Kilt-wearin' man]

OK guys - the Wee Kilt-wearin' Lad arrived Thursday morning. Nine pounds, one ounce and just a shade over twenty inches long, almost a full head of brown hair, and one of the most active newborns I've seen - he flails and kicks constantly, and even kicks his swaddling off. It's pretty impressive.

His big brother wasn't real pleased to see Mommy and Daddy with another baby at first, but he seems to have come around. He now smiles, pats his litte brother softly on the head, and calls him "Kitty cat".

We're working on that. :D

[norinew]

Kilt-wearin' Man, that's wonderful news! Congratulations to you and Kilt-wearin' Woman!

[fessie]

Congratulations to the whole Kilt-Wearin' Clan! I assume those are Highland kicks? :D 9lbs! Wow! Pix?

[tanookie]

Yay! Congrats to the wee laddie :)

[Flutterby]

Wow 9 lbs.. glad things went well, and congrats on the new addition to the kilt wearin' family.

[JohnT]

... let's keep this one going...

Sophie and I had a wonderful weekend, like always.

Friday night, we're sitting in the living room with Laura holding Sophie and rocking her on the glider we bought when she was expecting. Sophie jerks up and asks, quite clearly:

"You want me to read to you, dada?!?"
"You want to read to dada, Sophie?"
"Yeah!"
"That sounds fun! What book do you want to read?"
"Ma-wing-a-wing-a-ming-a-wing, mmm I'll be right back!" Sophie still mumbles those concepts she can't place into words (the option of not saying anything at all would never occur to Sophie, not in a million years). I vaguely recall doing this when I was a kid, so I know she'll outgrow it. NBD: No Big Deal.
She stops, turns:
"You want a pillow, daddy?"
"Sure, Sophie! Thank you!"
"Sophie, that's very considerate that you asked Daddy if he wanted a pillow. We appreciate that" Laura, quick with the moral lesson as always. ;)
"We sure do, Sophie. Thanks." Dad, quick with the supportive follow-up.

Sophie gets a couple of her board books, ones with different animals and their names... DK Publishers, I think. She also gets one of the pillows she has on her bed, brings it to me, and we lie on the couch as she "reads" to me. Opening the book, she names all the animals and colors and whatnots that she knows, and asks about the ones she doesn't. She sees a butterfly, and then has to show me that on another page there is a butterfly as well.

This goes on for 15-20 minutes, absolutely adorable. Throughout I'm asking her if she recognizes letters (as one should expect she gets some easily, forgets others... NBD), "how many" and "how many in Spanish" (she can do 10, we're working on 20... hell, I'm working on 20!).

Saturday, Mommy, Sophie and I went to Chili's, where she behaved very well. Sophie was glad to have me back and was on her best behavior, highlighted when she started saying "See? See? Mommy, see?" and pointing to her plate - she had eaten all of her broccoli unbidden! After the usual oohing and aahing, she went back and quietly finished her meal.

However, she is a pretty forceful child: when we walked into Chili's, Sophie looks at the hostess and says (loudly, Sophie says 'most everything loudly) "Hi!" The hostess didn't hear her, and turned to get the menus. Sophie runs around to face her and says more insistently "HI!" After she didn't react the second time, Sophie used the big guns in her repetrory: sticking her foot out, she asks "See my pretty shoes?" Don't ignore me because I'm little!
"I see your pretty shoes! What's your name?"
"Sophie!" pronounced sef-fee
"Sophie" me, sotto voce
"How old are you Sophie?"
"Mmmmm. Mwing-a-ming-a-wing-a-wing mmmm one... two!" counts and sticks out two fingers. She'll be three in October.

We then went to the mall, a place that Sophie adores. We just walk around (I never use a stroller), Sophie taking the lead and Laura and I right behind her. The entire time she is walking, she sees the babies and goes over to say hello to the kids and the parents - Sophie is very outgoing. She always comes to the Abercrombe store and starts dancing to the booming pop music coming out of the place. We then go to the bookstore (B. Dalton), where we have a good time identifying things on the covers of the book: "Look, dada! Dino! Look, dada! Baby Bop! Look, dada! Scooby-Doo!" We then make our way to the Disney store (Sophie knows where she's going, we've been walking her in the mall ever since she started walking) where we look for Simba and Nemo, and then close it off with a trip to see the puppies at the mall pet store. Not being fans of such places, we quietly never buy anything from there, but allow her to enjoy the animals as much as she can - at this age, loving animals is more important to instill than a dislike of chain stores, imho. At the end of the visit, Sophie has walked a good third of a mile, probably more.

I then had a business dinner to go to, but on Sunday I decided to take Sophie on an outing and give Laura a day from her: while Sophie and I were out, Laura got to shop sans child. Sophie and I went to go eat slices of pizza at this local pizzaria that was right next to the dollar theater - which happened to be playing Shrek 2. So after the pizza (we ate at the SpongeBob table, a table that is bright yellow), Sophie and I paid a $1.50 for 1 ticket (they had just raised their prices and are now more properly known as the $1.50 theater), with her being free.

She was a... well, she was a little girl going to the movies. Everything was bright and shiny and deserved our notice "Look, dada!... look, daddy!", and she introduced herself to no less than three ladies. We got our popcorn ("I wanna hold it! Please?") and went to the movie.

Now we had both seen this before... this wasn't her first time at the movies, and sure won't be her last. So far she has seen Home on the Range, Shrek 2, Ella Enchanted, and Scooby-Doo 2 ("Look, mama! Buffy! It's Buffy, mama!... Where's Spike?") at the theaters, and our going to see the new SpongeBob SquarePants movie is so certain as to be pre-ordained by the prophets of the worlds seven major religions. She was well behaved, especially considering it was the second time she's seen Shrek 2, and she had little problem staying still in her seat - as long as she got to hold the popcorn, that is.

We then went to the ice-cream place next door, and in keeping with my vow to keep the entire cost of our outing under $10.00, asked for a sample of their chocolate ice cream and "one of those little wooden spoons." Getting it, I handed it to Sophie and we left the store, thanking them. Sophie's dad can be a cheap bastard at times. ;)

We then went home for our nap.

Monday we had a slow day, where Sophie took out her toys, played in the backyard "I wanna go outside. I wanna go outside, dadda, please?", and more or less kept to herself. She had a couple of successful potty moments, but also a few unsuccessful ones, where she said she wanted to go, but didn't. She also broke her streak of five days in her bed by coming into our bed around 4:00am, and then again at 6:00am (the second time I just let her stay). After she woke up, she broke us all up by asking, after I had just spoke, my head close to hers "What's that stink?" :o

And yes, we told her about morning breath, a concept she has been running with all day today: "Mama, I have morning breath" was apparently as popular as the old warhorse "Mama, I have a boo-boo. I want a band-aid."

We just adore our daughter and think that she's the best thing that has ever happened to us, either singly or together. We're just so thrilled that a person like her is in our lives, and we are very pleased with her development and personality, a true blessing in our lives. Sorry to be so maudlin', but Sophie really is an awesome little girl - she's going to be a fine adult.

[JohnT]

And congratulations, KWM!!!! :D

[fessie]

Geez, that is so sweet! I really enjoyed reading it - I hope you print & save for Sophie when she grows up (or hits those teen years!).

Time for a pause to reflect on your delightful imagery......
















Oh, I had a question - you said Sophie was glad to have you "back" - have you been away serving in the military?

I was actually waiting to write news of my adventure today - sort of the opposite of yours. This evening, from 6:09 to 10:42, my Hubby watched both kids on his own and I went to ORCHESTRA REHEARSAL! I play the violin, very poorly but with great passion, and I've missed Orchestra terribly. That's the most time I've had TO MYSELF since before the kids were born 7 months ago! And I'm counting hospital time in there, those days were a whirlwind & I didn't sleep a wink.

Hubby did a good job -- well, both kids are intact, nobody had to call DCFS :p, they're currently asleep, and he's frazzled. Apparently they fussed/cried most of the evening, which they did most of the day anyway, more teething. He did call me halfway through rehearsal to order me to COME HOME NOW, but I calmly reminded him that it's a 40-minute drive anyway and just listened to his complaints & reminded him that he's doing a good job. Which he is.

The ladies in orchestra were highly amused by his call & let me know the strategies they'd used to get away for rehearsal when their kids were young. I don't think it's unreasonable for me to want ONE night away, I'm certainly willing to reciprocate & then some. I hope it's easier for him as they get older; I know he loves them dearly, but he gets so frustrated when he can't keep them content.

So what's everybody else up to?

[JohnT]

I was just out of town on business overnight.

[fessie]

Well, duh, that does make more sense; guess I had military threads on the brain.

So do you think it's more difficult for men to deal with babies & toddlers (in general) than it is for women? My girlfriends would say so, but then we need to vent sometimes & that might not be an accurate portrayal. Our visitor this weekend was reading a book on intuition & talking about how woman are (in general) more intuitive, and I was thinking that might be why it's easier for me to handle our pre-verbal, pre-logical children.

Anyway, I hope that in time my Hubby is able to just enjoy our kids as much as you obviously enjoy Sophie.

[norinew]

Originally posted by fessie
So what's everybody else up to?
Well, let's see. Mariah (the four-year-old) is settling into Pre-K, even though she still cries for a couple of minutes every day when she first get into her classroom. She has a boyfriend at school (his name is Kevin, and he was in her class last year, too). She's going to marry him, but not until she's ten, because that's when she figures she'll be old enough to get married. But she's going to have a little baby soon. There's a baby in her belly now. It's in her belly because she swallowed it, and soon we'll have to take her to the hospital so they can help her get it out. (Where does she get this stuff?) What she's really enjoying now is anything that's "new"; IOW, a departure from our regular routine. For instance, part of her bedtime routine is that we play in her room for a little while before we read books. But last night, we went outside to play instead of playing in her room. It was dark! We never go outside when it's dark! Hey, that's new! She was delighted. I heard her up and in the bathroom last night after I put her in bed. I didn't think much of it; she frequently goes in to get a Dixie cup of water, or use the potty. But then, at about ten o'clock, Amanda (the 17-year-old) went up to use the bathroom, but came right back down and said "Mom, you might want to go upstairs and take a look at the bathroom" "Why?" says I. "Because the baby put a pair of her panties and a pair of shorts in the toilet". I couldn't wait until Mariah got up this morning, so I could ask her about this. But our conversation was wholly unsatisfactory. Here's how it went:
Me: You put a pair of panties and shorts in the toilet last night!
Her: (laughing) I know. Wasn't that silly?
Me: Yes, it was very silly! Why did you do that?
Her: I don't know.
Me: Please don't do that anymore.
Her: Why?
Me: Because then mommy has to get them out of the toilet, and that's nasty.
Her: Okay.

Her afternoon Pre-k schedule makes my afternoons and evenings very easy.
I drop her off at school at 12:30. She gets off the bus at about quarter to four. Comes home, has a snack and crashes until dinner is ready (about 6PM). She plays for a half-hour after dinner, then has snack. Unwrapped (a TV show we both like) comes on at 7:30, and we watch it together, then it's time to get her ready for bed. By 8:30, I'm done putting her to bed; I change into my nightshirt, go downstairs and wash the dinner dishes, and then the rest of the evening is mine (uless one of the older kids needs something).

[JohnT]

Well, duh, that does make more sense; guess I had military threads on the brain.

So do you think it's more difficult for men to deal with babies & toddlers (in general) than it is for women? My girlfriends would say so, but then we need to vent sometimes & that might not be an accurate portrayal. Our visitor this weekend was reading a book on intuition & talking about how woman are (in general) more intuitive, and I was thinking that might be why it's easier for me to handle our pre-verbal, pre-logical children.

Anyway, I hope that in time my Hubby is able to just enjoy our kids as much as you obviously enjoy Sophie.

How do you mean "difficult"? Such a simple term, fraught with layers of... difficulty. ;)

Let's start with "intuition":

As far as the physical stuff goes (giving bottles, changing diapers, giving baths), that's just practice, and while the average man probably won't be as "perfect" as the average woman, other than disability there's no reason for any father not to be able to competently do those things.

I've been pretty good intuitively with Sophie, even as a newborn, but then I'm pretty good at reading people, at times it almost is like reading a book.

For example, when she was four months old, we put her in her own room for the night, and she was OK with it. However, this one night she woke up fussing and crying, and after a change and an empathy bottle 'n burp, tried to put her back down. No go... she'd start crying, and while Mom was fussing, I got the feeling that she just wanted to go to sleep with one of us there.

So I held her in my arms, turned off the light, sat down and put my head close to hers... and started breathing very deeply, a little loudly, like I was sound asleep. She stopped fussing immediately and was asleep in 15 minutes. Put her down in her crib, snuck out of the room, and made sure the monitor was turned up in our room (we put the baby's room at the opposite end of the house from our bedroom).

I've never done anything like that before, don't have the slightest notion where the idea came from, but it seemed like the right thing to do, and it worked.

I think men have intuition when it comes to young children, but it's a more demanding intuition, one predicated upon the idea that the kid should understand that, no matter what, don't bother Daddy.

Now, put baldly like that, that looks self-serving as all hell. But, let's be honest: what man isn't self-serving? What man, especially when he is in the feverish grip of his desires (be they intellectual, financial and job related, artistic, sexual, atheletic, and etc), wants to be bothered? And children, no matter their good qualities, at times are a bother.

So Daddies get mad, yell, maybe swat a butt. And the children cry, go to their rooms, pout. But the child learns: Daddy has his limits. Don't scream in his ear. Don't bother him when he's on the computer. Don't touch his tools.

Which gets translated (eventually) into: everybody has their limits. Don't scream in their ear. Don't bother them when they're doing their thing. Don't touch their stuff.

Men also are driven to make their children self-sufficient, to get them out of the house and on their own as good, family-raising taxpayers. They'll tend to push the kids more than their mother will:

watching 3 kids on the brand new trampoline
"Do you think it's safe?"
"Of course! What could go wrong?"

Now in regards to "difficult"

The reason I went into the above is because of an odd (but probably more common then I think) occurance that's happening between Sophie, Laura and myself: Sophie is far better behaved when I'm around then she is when I'm not. Amazingly better, so much so that the child Laura describes doesn't sound like the child that I take to Target. Screaming, kicking, falling down and refusing to get up, all has commonly occured between Laura and Sophie.

But she never acts like that around me. (And neither does Sophie. :rimshot: ) I think the reason is twofold: Sophie knows that my fuse is much less shorter than Laura's, and she is well aware that I am willing to meet her bad spots, physically and psychologically, much more readily than Laura will. So she doesn't have them around me.

There was this time when she was 18 months old. The three of us were driving and the hit of the household was the Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical episode on CD, which Sophie just adores. Anyway, I was tired of Buffy and turned on to something different.

"Buffy!" pronouced 'bud-Dy'
"No Sophie, I want to listen to something else"
"Buffy!" more insistently. I look in the rearview mirror and our eyes locked:
"Buffy!!"
...
"No, Sophie." Sophie comes back with the all-time classic.
"Waaahhhh." Still looking at me in the mirror. All of a sudden I realize: I'm being challenged. I could see it in her eyes - her mouth was crying, but her eyes weren't.
"Oh, John, just put the CD in."
"I can't. It's now become something more than a choice of music, it has become a test of wills." humorously
"Really?" looks back at her calculatingly-crying little girl "I see."
"Sophie, you can stop that crying right now young lady!" sharply "We are going to listen to what we want on the radio and that's final. Isn't that right, Mommy?"
"That's right, Daddy." this back-and-forth question is commonly used by us to show a united front on an issue.
"sniffle-sniffle."

I just don't put up with it and I try to shut it down quickly. I can tell when my child is needing of comfort and when she is being a brat, and I'm perfectly willing to match her will against mine - at the worst, I can always pick her up and move her, an option Sophie doesn't have with me.

However, the best is to accomodate, to learn to do what you need to do while making the child happy. When I shop with Sophie, I rarely put her in the cart rather having her walk freely, following me. Since I'm not "looking" for stuff (I know exactly what I'm there for, or else why would I go to Target?), I can keep a closer eye on Sophie and warn her "Hands. Hands!" as she's reaching for something. She is much happier walking around, being able to look at things much closer than from the cart. And, because she's not in the cart, I don't have horror-stories of how Sophie hates the cart. :p

[dangermom]

Hey there everybody. We were out of town, and then the boards went all icky, so I haven't been here much. Glad to see this is still alive!

Our trip was fun, but exhausting. California is too big. On the first day we just drove to my brother's place to sleep, almost halfway to our destination. They're about to have a baby, and sooner than we thought due to placenta previa. Next day we drove down the coast to Santa Maria, my home-town, a small, nondescript town between Santa Barbara and San Luis Obispo. Property values have gone insane there, because it's 'affordable.'

We stayed with my best friend, who just had her third baby girl. So, five small girls in a small house--with one working bathroom because the other one disintegrated right before we came!! DangerGirl instantly developed a worship for the oldest girl, age 7, and they got pretty wild. DangerBaby looked like Goliath next to their second girl, who is exactly the same age but tiny and running around, unlike mine. (Yes, she took a few steps--and then I took her on a trip and subjected her to lots of strangers, and she quit.)

Anyway we had a great time, except for when DangerGirl scribbled green crayon into her dress (why? does anyone know how to get crayon out of knit cotton?), and it was really hot. And they got to know the CareBears, sigh. And I got a lot of news about my old friends and acquaintances from various people, so that was nice.

We got home--a full day of driving up I-5, whoopee--and they both developed colds. So we've stayed home as much as possible, and used a lot of Kleenex.

DangerBaby is producing a new word every day--this week it's "book," "Oobi" (a TV show), "bubble," and some others I don't remember just now. She produces a really interesting sound for cat and dog. But she has not resumed walking.

I took a self-defense class last night from the kung-fu teacher, which was thrilling news for DangerGirl. I think I'll put her in another class soon; I really want her to have physical confidence and to be comfortable with her body, and this seems like a good way to practice it. A friend of mine doesn't like the idea, and complains that the community only offers 'fighting' for young kids (you can take fencing at age 7 or kung-fu, or there's also soccer)--but she has boys. And I think I have a different perspective with my girls; I want them to be able to be assertive and physical if they need to be (unlike me!), while she's more concerned with not encouraging fighting. Also I like the discipline aspects of martial arts, where they talk a lot about not fighting or hurting unless it's really necessary, and they purposely don't teach the young kids ways to really hurt each other, so it's very controlled and they learn to channel their impulses rather than ignore them until they lose control. I've long wanted to take a class myself--it's just that whenever I think, "yeah! I'll take karate!" I'm usually about 7 months pregnant. :smack: Thoughts on this fighting stuff, anyone?

I guess that's enough rambling for now. Sorry about the length...

[fessie]

So norinew - When exactly was that easy part of your day? I seem to have missed it :p .

dangermom Although mine aren't there yet, I think that fighting urge is inevitable. Might as well channel it constructively. My son is a really physical baby, it's just the way he is.

You guys are terrific writers.

I'm not sure if this thread format is going to work, but I have to say I've enjoyed reading about everyone's parenting adventures. I keep wanting to respond to everything people say, the way we smile and nod during IRL conversations, but here it just looks dorky & overeager, and I think it's actually inhibiting the flow.

One of the reasons I started this was to try to stay in contact with the same people - I have such trouble keeping names straight, when I see someone I definitely recognize, it's a delight. And I love the Doper community, I can't think of a group of parents that I'd rather get to know. So if we don't keep in touch here, I look forward to crossing paths with everyone on other threads.

JohnT Your essay really gave me a lot to think about, I really enjoyed it. There's an article in this quarter's Brain, Child about male parenting and how Mom's are often reluctant to give up control. They speculated that if women had more leverage in the workplace it would inspire us to share power on the home front, but I don't think that's necessarily true. You make better points about the innate differences between men and women and how they translate to valuable experiences for the kids. Women in my family were particularly feisty (diplomatic word for it) and it's a struggle for me to back off. Thanks for sharing your point of view, you've given me more incentive for reigning in my power urges.

[norinew]

Originally posted by fessie
So norinew - When exactly was that easy part of your day? I seem to have missed it .
Well, in order to appreciate how my afternoons are easier now, you have to know how they were before. Before Mariah started pre-k, I would go into the kitchen at about 4:30 to start dinner, and the whole thing would go like this: I'm washing dishes, emptying the sink so I can start dinner, Mariah wanders in and says "I help you?" "Well, honey, you can help me dry the dishes, okay?" Of course, washing dishes takes twice as long when she's "helping". We're washing dishes, when Arielle comes in to announce that she doesn't like whatever I'm cooking. I stop everything to clean up the water Mariah's gotten all over the floor. While I'm cleaning it up, Mariah announces that she's hungry and needs something to eat right now and cannot possibly wait until dinner time. I tell her eating now is not an option, so she asks for a drink, instead. I tell her to get a drink of water from the one litre bottle I keep in the fridge. But instead, she gets a cup, puts ice in it, pours water into the cup so she can have ice water. While I'm cleaning up that water, Amanda comes in to tell me that she's not hungry, and she's not going to eat. I tell her she has to eat, because if she doesn't, she'll eat junk food later. We have a three-minute argument about her eating habits. Finally, I can get dinner started. While I'm cooking, there is constant whining from Mariah because: she's hungry, she's still thirsty, she wants to watch a video but Arielle is watching something else, she wants paper to draw on, etc. etc. etc.

Now, however, Mariah naps right through dinner prep. I still have the other two to deal with, but you can see how removing the little one from the equation could help! :)

fessie, if you want to keep in touch, and this thread doesn't work out, my email addy is in my profile. Just be sure to put SDMB in the subject line, so I don't accidentally delete it.

[LilyoftheValley]

I'm not sure if this thread format is going to work, but I have to say I've enjoyed reading about everyone's parenting adventures. I keep wanting to respond to everything people say, the way we smile and nod during IRL conversations, but here it just looks dorky & overeager, and I think it's actually inhibiting the flow.

One of the reasons I started this was to try to stay in contact with the same people - I have such trouble keeping names straight, when I see someone I definitely recognize, it's a delight. And I love the Doper community, I can't think of a group of parents that I'd rather get to know. So if we don't keep in touch here, I look forward to crossing paths with everyone on other threads.

I am having trouble staying up with this thread, but I'm really enjoying it when I do get a chance read it. (Belated congrats to the Kilts, btw!)

I wish I could find a group like Dopers on the parenting boards out there. I've yet to find a group that doesn't send my blood pressure through the roof.

MrValley and I have been sick for over a week now, and I wonder if ValleyGirl isn't sick as well. She's suddenly stopped sleeping through the night. Last night was particular torture, waking up at 11:30pm and 3:00am. She gobbled down milk both times, so it may be a growth spurt as well. The worst part of all is that she'll usually go back to her crib awake after late night feedings, and fall asleep. But at 3 this morning, she wouldn't sleep until 4:30. So of course, with lack of sleep we're just not getting over our illnesses. A vicious cycle, I tell you.

But to end my post on a more humorous note, I'll share an embarrassing Mommy story. On Friday, I had a diaper emergency. They were all sold out of ValleyGirl's size at the drugstore, so I went over to WalMart. I'm leaning into the backseat to get ValleyGirl out of the carseat when I see a hip-looking guy walking towards me and waving in my general direction. Of course, I think, hmmm I wonder who's behind me that he's waving to. :smack: Because honestly, I don't think I know any hip-looking guys, particularly hip-looking guys who shop at WalMart. Anyway, at this point, ValleyGirl has seized the moment while my hands were untangling her from the carseat straps, and has taken my glasses off and is gumming the lenses. Then I hear "Hey Lily!" So there I am, saying "Hi!" somewhat vaguely, desperately trying to get my glasses back from my daughter's claw-like grasp, pretending I have any clue who this guy I can't see is. It turned out to be a former co-worker out doing chores on his break, so we had a nice little catch up. I hope he didn't go back to my other former co-workers and say, "Man, motherhood is making Lily into a wreck!" :p

[Unauthorized Cinnamon]

Oh, I was going to strangle my husband this morning!

Yes, I stay at home with Chloe, so normally it's my job to get up with her during the night and I'm the default caregiver at all times. BUT . . .

Last night I felt really crappy, so DH said I should go to bed early (9:00). At 10:30, Chloe screamed. Sometimes she does that and goes right back to sleep, or maybe is crying in her sleep, so I didn't wake up all the way - kind of set my brain on "half awake" for a few minutes. Well, it didn't get better, so I got up.

DH wasn't in bed though. He was wide awake, ten feet from our second monitor, playing EverQuest! I went up, nursed her, and went back to bed.

And the exact same thing happened at 11:00, just as I was falling back to sleep! As I went by, DH said he was going to go and get her "in a minute" (in EQ-speak, that's 15-20 minutes).

When she woke up at 2:00, I told him to go sleep upstairs and take care of her for the rest of the night, because I was turning off the monitor in our bedroom and getting some rest.

This morning he was back in our bed, and when I went up to Chloe's room, the side of her crib was down. DH is soooo lucky she didn't fall out and hurt herself (while the monitor in our room was turned off no less!). He said he wasn't thinking clearly because he was so tired. :mad: I told him for future reference, if he had taken care of her the first two times when he was awake anyway, I would have handled her later.

So that's my perspective this morning on the man/woman childcare thing!

[dangermom]

Goodness, Aeryn, I'm glad the baby didn't fall out!

I've been a little stir-crazy the past few days. Both of the girls got colds, but one at a time, so that we stayed home for as long as possible. I tried a grocery-store run Thursday morning, but that was kind of a disaster, and we just stayed in for the next few days. I was also missing out on my early-morning walk, because the baby was waking up early and only wanting me.

So by Saturday night, I was full of ennui or something, and getting pretty unhappy, when DangerDad pointed out that I hadn't been outside that day, and I realized that I had barely been outside for 3 days, and no wonder I was messed up. And by that time, it was dusk, and I couldn't go out because of the mosquitos (I'm allergic to them or something, and they love to chew on me).

I still had to stay home on Sunday; I would have really liked to go to church but the baby was still coldy and DDad had to teach, so I had to stay home, but we hung out on the lawn and played Ring Around the Rosy, so it was fine. I'm better now and got a great walk this morning.

Now we're getting ready to go to pre-school, and we have to take things that start with B. I have a million errands to do, and a presentation on books to give tonight, so wish me luck...



I am turning into my mother. Or a Responsible Adult, or something. In the last few months, I've instituted several changes. I go on walks instead of sleeping until the last minute, I have a housecleaning schedule, I'm trying to give up sugar, I take notes on my reading, I teach at church...what has happened to me?? :eek:

[JohnT]

AerynSun, on behalf of all guys everywhere, I apologize. :gulp:

I don't think people do a very good job of selling the joys of parenting, especially to the fathers. All I heard when Laura was expecting was "X more months of freedom!" (also heard before my marriage - even though I had exclusively dated Laura for 7 years prior! :rolleyes: ) All Laura heard was-never ceasing stories of the difficulties of labor,

with a knowing pause "... especially for first-time mothers."

Then there was the talk about perpetually crying babies, "oh my child had the cholic for 4 months!", perpetually tired parents "it'll be a long time before you know what sleep is like, yuck yuck", and, of course, the various "jokes" about how a child effects sexual performance on any number of levels from

"Hope the child doesn't make her... hips too wide, if you know what I mean." Actually said to a friend of mine.

to

"After the hell of dealing with a newborn, the last thing you'll want to risk is sex!"

(Actually, that last one was kinda true. ;) )

And the first few weeks, months were hard but by 2 1/2 months we had made the adjustment. And it was fun, fun because I pitched in. I made bottles, late-night feedings (like DH I would stay up on the computer to 1-3 AM most nights (no headphones!), so Laura got to sleep for a while... I also made sure to always feed Sophie right before I went to bed), and tried to do what I could do when I could do it. We worked together as a team on raising Sophie (this is what we're married for, right?) early on, and I really don't have many bad memories of that period. Rather, for my wife and I, it was a period where we fell in love with our little girl. She describes it the same way... one night, four months home from the hospital, Laura looks up from her Parenting magazine and asks

"Don't you just love little Sophie? I mean, I just can't stop thinking about her." I'll never forget the look on her face.
"I just... adore her. She's so sweet and tiny."
"Yeah. It's the little things that I love, the way she bobs her head when reaching for the bottle, and how she coughed two times before crying when she was a newborn..."

and we went on in this vein for quite a while. And still do.

So, tell DH this: raising a family is fun! Soon, this little girl will grow from being the irritation that's taking you away from your precious computer into The Most Fascinating Person On Earth™, the computer being put into its proper place and perspective. She needs her daddy, and that's you. And there's no better sense a pride a man could have than having a well-raised little girl, one who draws praise from strangers. No thrill from EverQuest can ever match that... period.

[Unauthorized Cinnamon]

Actually, my husband is usually pretty good about parenting. When Chloe was born, he took 3 weeks off from work. And we did have a sleeping shift arrangement set up when she was tiny, so each of us got a near-decent amount of sleep - and he took the night-owl shift, playing games when she didn't need him.

Unfortunately, she goes to bed before he gets home from work, so he doesn't get to see her too much. I assume this will get better as she gets older and goes to sleep later than 5:30!

In fact, when he was up with her at 2:00, he said he had to just let her stay up and play for a while, because she was having so much fun and it was a pleasure to watch her.

So generally, he is pretty good with her (she LOVES it when he roughhouses with her), and I feel he did proper penance for this incident by taking her at 2 a.m. But at the time, I was ripshit over it - just another wonderful part of the ups and downs of marriage/parenting!

[Flutterby]

Cute baby thing:

Today Caterpie was playing around in the living room, pulling himself to stand while holding on to things and the box we have for his toys an empty diaper box) was on it's side. He was standing while holding onto it and he leaned forward..

The box went back and landed on it's bottom with him was laying across the open space, trying to wriggle and get off. The look on his face!

(Okay I can't tell tales, but it was so cute)

[lorene]

I haven't been here much either, although I do try to read from time to time.
This week's Adventure in Parenting here is that we are having a 2nd birthday party for my daughter today. Her birthday isn't actually until Friday, but we figured next weekend was too close to my due date to plan a party.
Anyhow, I decided I had to make this cake (http://http://www.wilton.com/store/site/product.cfm?id=3E3191FE-475A-BAC0-501074C10C676BD5) for her. OY!! What was I thinking??? I am 38 weeks pregnant, had to clean and wrap presents and entertain a soon-to-be-2-year-old yesterday while it was pouring rain outside...yikes.
I ended up doing a reasonable job on it, kind of making up my own technique as I went along, but it took me several hours.

As for the gender differences...I find that there is generally enough give-and-take in my household. Yesterday, I felt like I was the one doing more. By 8pm, when I was struggling with my daughter and I finally asked DH to help me, he said, "I was just waiting for you to ask." Um, I need to ask??? But today, when I am tired from overextending myself yesterday, he has pretty much taken the initiative with all that remains to be done around here and I have no complaints.

It doesn't always work like that, though, and I do find myself sad at times that there's so much more sniping at each other than I ever thought there would be. However, when I look at the big picture, I see that we really do have it pretty good.

[Flutterby]

lorene: The link doesn't work.

That sounds like a lot of work though. It's gonna be so much fun when Caterpie gets older.. a Christmas birthday! My goodness what am I gonna do?

[JohnT]

flutter, remove the extra "HTTP:" that is in it. That'll do it.

Btw, it's an Elmo cake. Fortunately, we're a Nick family so the wretched devolution that Sesame Street has exhibited in the past 15 years don't constantly depress us.

[JohnT]

flutter, remove the extra "HTTP:" that is in it. That'll do it.

Btw, it's an Elmo cake. Fortunately, we're a Nick family so the wretched devolution that Sesame Street has exhibited in the past 15 years don't constantly depress us.

Er, it should be "HTTP://" that you need to remove.

And I really like that use of the word "don't", don't you? :rolleyes: @ myself.

[Flutterby]

I tried that before I posted. All I get is the homepage for Microsoft..

[Flutterby]

NM I figured it out (http://www.wilton.com/store/site/product.cfm?id=3E3191FE-475A-BAC0-501074C10C676BD5).. had one extra http:// and was mising the : from the other one

[tanookie]

NM I figured it out (http://www.wilton.com/store/site/product.cfm?id=3E3191FE-475A-BAC0-501074C10C676BD5).. had one extra http:// and was mising the : from the other one

Hey - I made that cake for my daughter's second birthday too!

[lorene]

Sorry about the link. I'm kind of a computer dummy.
Oh, and a cake dummy, too.

tanookie , I was totally thinking of you when I posted about that. Don't you make cakes professionally? How on earth do you have the patience?!
Or, perhaps you are not doing them at 9pm when you're 38 weeks pregnant. (Yeah, I know I already bitched about it.) In retrospect, it actually didn't come out so bad. I'll know in a few hours what the Little Lady's reaction is.

[Flutterby]

It's okay it happens even to us who aren't half bad with computers :)

I remember in elementary my best friend's mother made cakes. She was the one who made cakes for birthdays and whatnot. It was amazing what she could do. When I moved away she put a dinosaur on a cake for me (I was dino mad).

I don't have the patience though. By the time I get done baking a cake I just want to slap some icing on it and eat it.

[JohnT]

My wife wants to buy a cake.

I want to make home-cooked chicken nuggets.

We have things backwards at our house. :D

[tanookie]

Having spent quite a few years as a professional cake decorator I always make the cakes for family occasions.

I like to make other things too but I'm not as confident in my cooking skills as I am in my baking skills. My hubby is quite helpful with the technical stuff but refuses to try anything "artistic."

Oh - Zackie took his first steps today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[C3]

Oh - Zackie took his first steps today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's exciting!

We've had an interesting weekend. My son got a virus that involved a high fever (104.2 for a while there), a rash, and a sore throat. As soon as the fever came down and he was willing to eat something, three :eek: molars decided to make an appearance.

Poor little thing. Ibuprofen has been our friend.

[lorene]

Wow, congrats Zach!!
And Baby3 on the teeth.

The Elmo cake was moderately successful---actually more so with the adults than with the bday girl, who was already too overwrought by that point to really care. In fact, she was so overwhelmed that, when we were singing 'Happy Birthday', she just laid down on the floor face down. She had simply had enough, and it was actually a nice chance for me to quietly rub her back and try to impart some soothing without a gaggle of relatives trying to "help".

What do you do with 2 sets of grandparents (particlularly the grandmothers in my case) who won't stop trying to out-grandparent each other?? It was all oh-so-<cough, cough>-subtle, but I know it didn't help how overwhelmed my poor girl got. At one point, I cornered my sister and said, "I wish they'd just settle this with an old-fashioned fistfight, y'know?" Boy, did I want a drink (or ten) at that point.

My girl and I have the day off together, so I'm hoping to re-introduce normality and quiet time to her. Oh, and to myself ;)

[norinew]

Well, I've been out of town for a few days, visiting a friend of mine in Fredericksburg, VA, so it looks like I've missed a lot!

First steps, new teeth, fancy cakes and relatives subtly duking it out at birthday parties, oh my! Sometimes, for me, it helps to remind myself that whatever stage the kid is at, it's only temporary. This serves as a reminder for me to really treasure the good parts, and comfort for the rough patches!

My friend I went to visit has a Baha'i Center in her area, so Sunday morning we all went to Baha'i school on Sunday. At my 4-year-old's class, the teacher asked "What do you know about God?" and my little Mariah pipes up "Well, I know He don't got a belly button!" You gotta love stuff like that! I know I do!

As far as birthday cakes, my youngest wants a Blue's Paw Print cake again this year. I'm happy, as it's the easiest thing in the world: an 8" or 9' round, and four cupcakes arranged strategically, all covered in blue frosting; voila! A paw print! I'm not good at fancy stuff, so when my kids have wanted Barbie, dinosaurs, horses, etc., I bake a cake from a mix and decorate it with little plastic toys! And yep, I cook in a Crock Pot at least twice a week; I'm a lazy cook!

Hey, I have an idea, for the next week, whenever one of us cooks a good family recipe for dinner, let's post it here so we can all take some new stuff to cook for dinner instead of doing the same old thing! When I figure out what I'm cooking tonight, I'll post it here!

[tanookie]

What do you do with 2 sets of grandparents (particlularly the grandmothers in my case) who won't stop trying to out-grandparent each other?? It was all oh-so-<cough, cough>-subtle, but I know it didn't help how overwhelmed my poor girl got. At one point, I cornered my sister and said, "I wish they'd just settle this with an old-fashioned fistfight, y'know?" Boy, did I want a drink (or ten) at that point.

I've explained with the distinct lack of tact I am famous for that:

These are MY kids.
I will NOT be overruled.

I've stepped on grandparent toes quite a few times but I have explained that my kids come first and their feelings come second. We've had plenty of "You're overwhelming her" or "She doesn't like that - leave her alone" or "Stop feeding her! I'm the one dealing with the upset stomach later" conversations. Things have been pretty good in the last year or so - they got the message!

I know she's quirky - she's 3 - 3 year olds are all quirky. I go with the harmless ones. Getting that across to the grandparents has been interesting. I know she looks like a rainbow on acid some days but she dressed herself - let her be proud. The only mac n cheese she wants is elbow macaroni - this is not a hassle - when I tell you this please don't pout about the fact that you bought rotini and cheese. I told you specifically before you went shopping that she only will eat the elbow ones. I know they are the same thing. She does not. She's 3 - you are not. :rolleyes:

[LilyoftheValley]

Oh - Zackie took his first steps today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations BabyZackieBoy! ;) Seems like just yesterday was the DopeFest when he kept falling over while sitting up.

Life ChezValley is difficult lately. ValleyGirl's sleep has gone into such regression that I'm about to scream. My little princess used to go to sleep at 7pm, wake up for some milk at 3-4 am, go right back to sleep and wake up around 6-7 am. She also used to go down for naps with her eyes wide open, talking herself to sleep. Starting last week, she began waking up twice a night. Then three times a night. Last night, she was up every two hours. The worst part is, she'll no longer go back to sleep on her own -- I used to be able to do her night feeding then put her down to sleep with eyes open. Now she screeches her head off. And forget about putting herself to sleep for naps. (Actually the only reason I can type this now is that she's napping in her car seat in the garage -- connected to our house -- right now. Call me a bad mother, but when it's been 6 hours since she last slept, I'm not going to risk waking her by taking her out.)

I have no idea what's going on with my soon-to-be 8 month old. I'm living with a constant sleep deprivation headache and I'm getting rather moody. Meanwhile, Miss ValleyGirl is happy as a clam during her waking hours, and smiles and laughs at everyone. So of course everyone says, "How lucky you are to have such a good baby!"

Sigh. Any ideas?

On a more positive note, I picked up some devil's food cake mix and chocolate frosting on sale today at the grocery store. This thread was making me too hungry!

[Flutterby]

Yay for first steps and new teeth!

I'm not looking forward to molars, we're just getting the uppers now (or so it seems, yesterday he was all fussy and didn't nap or eat much, which is how Caterpie was when the bottoms came in)

As to the Grandparents thing: I don't have to deal with another side (single mom) and my parents are pretty easy going.. but my Grandmothers. Oi. So far we've only had a discussion about solids. It basically went "Why isn't he eating cereal yet?" "Because he's not old enough, the doctor says no and he's not interested. We'll start when he gets interested and not till then." I had to repeat that a few times but it got through. Anticipated discussions: Why isn't he baptised? and when he's 2 Have you started potty training yet?

I wouldn't say your a bad mom Lily. We all deal how we can. What I end up doing is if Caterpie is still asleep when I get home, I just leave him to nap in the stroller. He's fine, I can hear him when he wakes and I get a little break. Usually just long enough to put the groceries away.

I really don't have any tips except maybe see if you can find a toy to leave with her that she might play with and go back to sleep instead of shrieking. I have a toy and a box of pens (yeah, it's his favourite toy right now) in the crib.

[JohnT]

Eh, my parents defrauded my little girl out of 3 months of health insurance (part of a severance package that they stole from me when I left their company). You think y'all have G'parent issues! ;)

On the other side, at least my child hasn't been polluted spiritually and psychologically by spending time with my stepmother. :cool:

[fessie]

Lily any chance your daughter's got an ear infection, perhaps in its early stages? I've read that the pain is more intense when they're laying down. I know you said there aren't any other symptoms - my daughter was asymptomatic when she had an ear infection, except that she'd fuss at feeding times. It didn't occur to me at the time that her fussing had any cause.

BTW, my kids sleep wherever they land. Floor, crib, stroller, in the car - wherever! I've been driving them around extensively for the past 10 days, trying to instill a sleeping schedule. They sleep great, just cuts down on my Internet time.

Re: recipes - how about nuked hot dogs? That was my dinner last night :p . Today it's going to be a huge salad, doggone it, inspired by that salad thread.

I hear you guys about kids' limits & family not understanding. That's one of my strongest beliefs, I'm convinced that working within their capacities is key to a harmonious household. Once, many years ago, we were at the Zoo for their Christmas lights festival & this dad was over at the side, just whaling on his toddler who kept squirming away in his winter jacket. The violence of the dad's fury struck me and I screamed out loud, involuntarily, and my MIL intervened and calmed the situation down. She was a social worker & knew how to talk to parents; apparently they'd been out doing the "family thing" all day w/ G'parents etc. & the kid had just had enough and become quite difficult. I think about that, about how people can set themselves up for a mess by not taking children's needs into account.

JohnT I might be able to trump your G'parent woes - this same MIL, when informed of my pregnancy last summer, told Hubby that she didn't think we should have kids because we're too self-centered to be parents :eek:. This is the woman we took in and cared for in recent years when she was homeless and penniless (through her own choices) - TWICE! No, she hasn't been to see the babies, and no, I'm not about to take steps to bring her here. I think she's been waiting for us to fail & call her for help.

[norinew]

Tonight we will have home made chicken nuggets, cole slaw and fried apples.

Ranch Chicken Nuggets

3 boneless skinless chicken breast halves
1/4 c. dry ranch dressing mix
1/2 c. Wheaties, crushed (corn flakes will work; I like the added whole grains of Wheaties).

Preheat oven to 350. Cut chicken into chunks using sharp scissors. Mix ranch dressing mix into crushed cereal. Coat chicken chunks in mix. Put on lightly greased cookie sheet and bake for about 10-12 minutes.

Cole slaw

1/4 head cabbage
1 small apple (cored but not peeled)
1 med. carrot
2 or 3 Tbsp. mayonaise
2 packets Splenda

Put cabbage, apple and carrot in a food processor and shred. Put into a bowl and add mayonaise and Splenda, mix well. Can be served immediately, but is best if chilled first.

Fried Apples

5 medium sized apples
1 Tbsp. butter
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
3 packets Splenda

Core and slice apples. Melt butter in a heavy skillet. Add apples to skillet and fry, stirring constantly, until apples reach desired softness. Add cinnamon and Splenda and mix thoroughly. Best if served warm.

[norinew]

fessie, I have great in-laws, but of course horror stories about in-laws are so common that they've become cliche. Your story is one of the worst I've heard! I will say that when I was pregnant with my first child, several of my sisters expressed concern that I might not be cut out to be a good mom. Their basic feeling was that I couldnt' even keep a house plant alive! How was I going to manage a baby? The difference, of course, is that house plants don't make any noise when they need something, but babies do! ;)

[Winnie]

Hijacking slightly back to sleeping issues... but please tell me that newborns outgrow the "catnaps"? My 8-week old (born 2 weeks early so his adjusted age is 6 weeks) has been on a spurt of 20-30 minute naps a few times a day. I can't imagine he's getting enough rest this way and I can't get a damn thing done around the house knowing he'll be awake before I can even get out of the shower. His naps have ranged from 20 minutes to 3+ hours, so I know he's capable of sleeping longer but this past week I can't get him down for more than 30 minutes.

He's doing pretty well at night, only getting up once to eat and goes right back down. I just worry about the daytime overtired think after reading "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child." It kind of scares you into worrying about accounting for every minute of sleep, and I'm terrified I'm doing something that's keeping Noah from getting quality sleep during the day.

[norinew]

Winnie, he'll most likely outgrow it. The problem with all those books is that the little babies can't read them! :D

[norinew]

Actually, winnie, scratch that "most likely" bit. He'll definitely outgrow it. After all, have you ever known a 20-year-old who sleeps for 10-20 minutes on and off, all day? (They actually resume this schedule when they reach about age 80). :)

[LilyoftheValley]

Congratulations on your new one, Winnie. I promise he'll grow out of it. Anyway, who needs showers? I don't think I showered before 4 pm until ValleyGirl was 3 months old. ;)

Last night was a smidgeon better (back up to 3 hour stretches and going down easier), so I'm a bit more cheerful. I hadn't considered an ear infection since she's so happy during the day. I think I'll look into that.

Meanwhile, I have to share yesterday's adventure! We took 'Girl on her very first bike ride on the bike path near our house. Picture a tandem bicycle towing a bright yellow child trailer (ok, so we had a huge turning radius :) ). We went for half an hour (8 miles) and she didn't fuss at all. Hooray! Great fun was had by all. I got a special kick out of passing a bunch of other cyclists while towing our "deadweight". Guess I'm not in such bad shape after all.

[norinew]

For some reason, LilyoftheValley, babies just love to be in motion! Bike rides certainly do the trick! Helps you get some fresh air, sunshine and exercise, too. Fresh air is especially helpful if you're too busy with your little one to shower daily ;) .

Seiously, something that may be helpful for shower time for those of you having trouble, is to get a clear shower curtain; put your baby in a baby seat facing the shower so they can see you the whole time. I didn't need to do this, as I have clear shower doors on my shower.

[dangermom]

Motion: yesterday was a gorgeous day, and we spent a lot of time in the yard. DangerGirl wanted to ride her bike for about 30 seconds, but abandoned that to push DangerBaby around on the little push-car we'd gotten out of storage and hosed off. They went all around the block--but the alignment on the thing is off, so I had to stop them every six feet so they didn't go off the curb. DBaby doesn't seem to grasp yet that she can push with her own feet; she just sits there with her feet in the air, twirling them like she does when she's excited. (We call her Twirlytoes.)

So now, she loves the push-car. Every time we head out to the garage for the stroller or a ride in the car, she lunges toward it and cries if I don't give her a ride. If I do give her a ride, she cries when I take her off. Oh well, at least we're outside. It was too hot to play outside much until a couple of days ago.


Hey, anyone interested in the implications of advertising and licensing for children should take a look at this book I'm reading now-- Consuming kids, by Susan Linn. Fascinating and worrying stuff. I'm on chapter 5 or 6 now.

[LilyoftheValley]

I didn't need to do this, as I have clear shower doors on my shower.

I think our shower used to have clear doors. The previous owner of our house was a swinging bachelor (we found oil packets and champagne corks around the hot tub and in various nooks in the house for months after moving in!) and apparently did no work on the house at all. His decor consisted of framed sports-themed posters and a large TV next to the wood stove. Every wall was white, and one of the rooms has 70s orange shag carpet.

I'm embarrased to say that the past 4 years while hubby and I were both working (or I was in grad school), we never really noticed how bad things were. Now that I'm home, I tend to think things like, "I really hate that hideous cloudy shower door." I actually got down on my hands and knees last week and scrubbed the kitchen floor with scouring powder. To my shock, I discovered that the floor tiles were actually terra cotta colored, not brick colored. :eek: It seems that the regular mopping I was doing never scoured up the grime that the former owner let build up.

I'm on my way out the door to Home Depot to check out shower rods to change out that shower door with the built-up grime. I have become home-repair woman! I think I may need a life.

[dangermom]

The other odd thing the baby's doing is that her latest word is "no." But I do not think that word means what she thinks it means! She says it in a happy little voice to mean "yes!"

--"Do you want me to draw you a duck?"
"No!" --while handing me the paper and crayon with a grin.

[fessie]

Recent cute developments @ chez fessie: My physical son has started pulling up (on me, mostly) and enjoys bouncing on my lap, legs, head, whatever. He must be over 20 lbs, that bouncing is giving me some arm strength! And he giggles wildly when I rotate him upside down.

My daughter has taken to conducting. She waves her arms in the air as her musical toy plays, then slaps her belly with one hand while she sings along. She also amuses herself by playing peek-a-boo with her blanket when she's supposed to be napping. I'm lucky they both respond really well to simple goofy faces, as that's fairly effortless.

The other day I finally cooked, mashed & froze a couple of sweet potatoes for them. Feel like Julia Child, woo-woo!

Oh, and I broke down & bought a new shower curtain the other day (it's only been 16 years for the old one!). Something about staring at these walls all day does prompt action.

[fessie]

Re: sleep, winnie those books & articles made me crazy, I just decided forget it. Every week has been different from every other week, with trends and patterns gradually emerging & maybe a smidgen of direction on my part. I would prefer to really control things, but I don't think it's a realistic option and I have serious doubts about authors who suggest it is.

[Winnie]

Thanks to norinew , LilyOfTheValley , and Fessie. That's what I needed to hear -- first that he will outgrow the catnaps, and that it's okay if he's not following this well-intended plan for napping 8 weeks old. The thing about being a new mom is that if my baby's not sick, I find something else to worry about such as sleeping, eating, development, etc. Pregnancy prepares you for that, if you don't feel miserable and ill, then something must be horribly wrong and you must worry about a million other possible things that could be going on with your baby.

[norinew]

Originally posted by Winnie
Pregnancy prepares you for that, if you don't feel miserable and ill, then something must be horribly wrong and you must worry about a million other possible things that could be going on with your baby.
Ah, yes, I know this well! Early in my first pregnancy, before I even knew I was pregnant (and keep in mind we were actively trying to not get pregnant), I went to a party where I drank Southern Comfort, as well as sharing a joint with two other people. A week later I found out I was pregnant, and agonized over that party! "OMG, I smoked pot and drank whiskey and my baby will probably be born with 16 fingers or something!". My second pregnancy went pretty smoothly. Then, with my third one, I had no typical pregnancy symptoms (except for not having my period). With the first two, I had some low-grade nausea in the first few months; my doctor didn't want to see me until I was 14 weeks along, and I read in a parenting magazine that nausea is a sign of a healthy uterus. So, you know, of course, what happened; I started worrying that my uterus was unhealthy! To complicate matters, when I finally did see the doctor, he said there was no way he'd be able to pick up a fetal heartbeat because of all the scar tissue from previous C-sections! Fortunately, he wanted to send me to have a sonogram so he could "date" the pregnancy. I went to the Imaging Center, and it didn't take them any time to find a good, strong heartbeat! What a relief!

[fessie]

All right, I just want the record to show that I FINALLY DID IT. I did the Earth Mother thang, bought veggies & cooked 'em myself & mooshed 'em up for the babies. Put them in the ice cube tray and froze them, just like the La Leche people said to. And you know what? They won't eat 'em!! Well, that's not entirely true - my son will accept a few spoonfuls, making his tragic smile/trying not to cry face. Daughter just keeps her lips locked and shakes her head. Then she crys "meh-meh-meh-meh" (which I think is her version of "Mama!"). If she'd just keep her mouth open a little longer on the "-eh" part I think I could shove a spoonful in ;) .

So it's back to the jars.

My son started crawling today! More like creeping, since his belly's touching the floor, but he covers a lot of territory! Now we've got to redouble our babyproofing.

Next week I'm buying Halloween costumes. Not sure what to do.

[Flutterby]

Ah, yes, I know this well! Early in my first pregnancy, before I even knew I was pregnant (and keep in mind we were actively trying to not get pregnant), I went to a party where I drank Southern Comfort, as well as sharing a joint with two other people. A week later I found out I was pregnant, and agonized over that party! "OMG, I smoked pot and drank whiskey and my baby will probably be born with 16 fingers or something!".

Ah yes, I was like that myself. I was at around 10 weeks before I realizd I was pregnant (stressful time of my life, and I was sick on top of it. I didn't pay attention to my period that much and was used to it skipping, until I counted and realized it had been awhile) I'd been to several parties, smoked pot and tried e along with getting extremely falling down drunk one night. It all stopped when I realized I was pregnant of course (I still only have the odd beer once a month, having left all the druggie pals behind me) but I was extremely scared something was wrong. Especially when I started fainting/getting woogy regularly.

[dangermom]

Gee, that must have been scary! I remember when I fell down (full body, face down, ow) in the 8th week of DangerGirl's gestation, and spent a long time terrified I'd done something to her. I was very paranoid about the whole thing.

Did you find out what the fainting was about? Did it go away? I had trouble with that with baby #2, and eating cheese on my toast every morning stopped it. What did you do?

Nothing amazing to report here, except that DangerBaby is toddling around all the time now, it's so cute. It's hot again, and I planned a week's worth of cool-weather meals--I have no idea what we're going to eat tonight.

[fessie]

I was going to try to come up with something wise and reassuring on unnecessary worrying for you, Winnie, but I'm far too anxious to be the one to do it. My daughter can't be bothered to crawl, doesn't even want to roll over, and my son pulls his hair! However, I will repeat what was said to me --- it DOES get easier! At 7.5 months it's a way different experience and a LOT more fun. I remember when a friend said, very matter-of-factly, "Oh, I hate the first six months". And she's TTC #3, so it doesn't stop her. But now that mine are older I can understand what she meant. I thought those first 11 weeks were particularly hairy.

[Flutterby]

Did you find out what the fainting was about? Did it go away? I had trouble with that with baby #2, and eating cheese on my toast every morning stopped it. What did you do?

Well, a good portion of it went away when I started getting regular food.* It never did go away completely until after I gave birth. I think some of it had to do with my anemia (which iron pills don't help) and just between all the stress emotionally and physically. I only fainted twice, and was damn lucky I didn't crack my head on shelving (missed by an inch the first time) the rest of the time I had to carry juice and cookies or food of some kind with me, like a diabetic. I didn't have gestational diabetes though. Other than the fainting/dizzy spells and not gaining weight everything was normal (right down to low level nausea and extreme horniness)

*Long story, basically hardly any food, and none of it very good. What was good was eaten, and not by me with the rest being nothing I could stand to choke down, even now a year later. I weighed my lowest I've been in my adult life during my second trimester and didn't start gaining until my third. Most people didn't believe I was pregnant. So I know how easy it can be to hide a pregnancy, even though I wasn't trying.

Winnie, I don't really have advice for the worrying thing. I suggest just try and relax and enjoy things as they are now (of course I always tell my Mom that and she still worries so who knows..) I can't really help as I'm not as much of a worrywart. I had my step-mom tell me she was amazed at how casual I was with my son (not freaking out at everything).. don't ask me how I do it. I think it's cuz I'm too tired after doing all I need to do, and looking after him, that I don't have the energy to worry about anything other than what's happening now and how happy/healthy Caterpie is.

[LilyoftheValley]

All right, I just want the record to show that I FINALLY DID IT. I did the Earth Mother thang, bought veggies & cooked 'em myself & mooshed 'em up for the babies. Put them in the ice cube tray and froze them, just like the La Leche people said to. And you know what? They won't eat 'em!! Well, that's not entirely true - my son will accept a few spoonfuls, making his tragic smile/trying not to cry face. Daughter just keeps her lips locked and shakes her head. Then she crys "meh-meh-meh-meh" (which I think is her version of "Mama!"). If she'd just keep her mouth open a little longer on the "-eh" part I think I could shove a spoonful in ;) .

So it's back to the jars.


Well, I'm no Earth Mama (disposable diapers and such), but ValleyGirl really likes her homemade food. This summer when it was in season, local zucchini was quite popular. One of the favorite combinations so far has been steamed mashed apples (a bit chunky), fresh mashed banana, and rice cereal. Today we tried a bit of sweet potato -- cheap and easy -- mixed with pureed chicken. My little girl is no longer a vegetarian!


My son started crawling today! More like creeping, since his belly's touching the floor, but he covers a lot of territory! Now we've got to redouble our babyproofing.

Wow. ValleyGirl is moving backwards, but not with much speed. I picked up a nice baby gate today at a yard sale in anticipation of babyproofing, but I just can't wrap my brain around how I'll possibly ever make my home safe enough. My husband says, "Why don't you forget about all that babyproofing stuff and just watch her the whole time?" :rolleyes:

[norinew]

Originally posted by LilyoftheValley
I just can't wrap my brain around how I'll possibly ever make my home safe enough.

Okay, here's the good news: you don't have to baby proof your home! Well, at least not all of it! Close off all of it you can so that the baby can't get around the home unsupervised. Baby proof the baby's room, and the living room (I had to baby proof the living room and dining room, since they open into each other). Everything else can stay as is. Lowe's has a great section of baby proofing products, btw.

[fessie]

We bought our gates at a garage sale and the thrift store up the street. Those things are so expensive at Target!! Thanks for the tip re: Lowes, norinew, wish I'd gone there first! I'm not worrying about our whole place, either, at least not for now, although I have moved hazardous stuff out from under the sink & that kind of thing. I am worried about the cords, perhaps duct taping them to the carpet would work?

Lily, my daughter hasn't budged an inch, so your ValleyGirl is ahead of her by quite a bit! Those fresh mashed bananas are the bomb, my kids love 'em. Actually I did manage to get her to eat some sweet potatoes that I'd cooked - seems they were too dry first time around. She just hates lumpy food, won't deal with textures at all. How sweet that your girl had her first complete meal! Congratulations!

Daughter and I went to Target today, it was so much fun! She's finally sitting well enough to ride in a cart (with seatbelt), and she had a blast! Just jabbered the whole time. I bought her a winter hat while I was at it. (http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/t/twinscoming/)

Oh, Flutterby, what you said about hiding a pregnancy reminded me --- You know how you read about these women who don't realize they're pregnant? Well, I actually knew one of those!! A co-worker, many years ago. The women in the office who'd had babies all thought she HAD to be pregnant; those of us who didn't know better just thought she was gaining weight. Sad thing is, she continued to party all through her pregnancy - even bartenders would ask her if she really should be drinking, and apparently she'd get all offended.

And you also mentioned something about extreme horniness - now what is the story there? You mean I wasn't the only horny pregnant woman?

[norinew]

Originally posted by fessie
You mean I wasn't the only horny pregnant woman?

Absolutely not! Lots of pregnant women get horny (myself included), for a variety of reasons. For one thing, there's no worry about birth control. There's no worry about trying to get pregnant.
IOW, it's sex without an agenda! Also, hormone fluctuations mean certain key body areas are more sensitive. Husbands are often turned on by their wives' changing shapes, pay more attention to said wives, resulting in us going "Ooooh, he's paying attention to me; better jump his bones before he goes back to watching Tech TV" :D

BTW, fessie, your babies are soooo cute! You realize, don't you, that God makes babies cute so we'll let them live! ;)

[lorene]

Another Monday check-in from me.
My girl turned 2 on Friday. We had a great day---went to the Children's Discovery Museum in the morning, and then she went to visit my ILs in the afternoon while I ran some errands. Of all really cool things, they had a mylar 'Happy Birthday' balloon for her that just made her day.
In other news, for 2 days now, I have thought that labor might be starting. I feel kind of like an idiot, having been through labor before and still going, "Ya know, I'm not sure if this is it."
Either way, I don't think I'm going to make it to my due date next Monday. (Pretty much guaranteed that I'm going to be late just by saying that, huh?)
Wish me easy and speedy, OK? But not so speedy that we don't make it to the hospital!

[norinew]

lorene, here's wishing you a speedy, easy labor! But more than that, here's wishing you a happy, healthy baby at the end of it all!

[Flutterby]

Okay, here's the good news: you don't have to baby proof your home! Well, at least not all of it! Close off all of it you can so that the baby can't get around the home unsupervised. Baby proof the baby's room, and the living room (I had to baby proof the living room and dining room, since they open into each other). Everything else can stay as is. Lowe's has a great section of baby proofing products, btw.

This is what we've done. The living room is babyproofed when he started getting around more, and his room (but that was done when we set it up). I've blocked the living room off with a babygate, and I am going to pick up one that screws into the wall for upstairs soon.

Oh, Flutterby, what you said about hiding a pregnancy reminded me --- You know how you read about these women who don't realize they're pregnant? Well, I actually knew one of those!! A co-worker, many years ago. The women in the office who'd had babies all thought she HAD to be pregnant; those of us who didn't know better just thought she was gaining weight. Sad thing is, she continued to party all through her pregnancy - even bartenders would ask her if she really should be drinking, and apparently she'd get all offended.

It took me a little to notice, but I always wonder how you can't notice at all unless you really don't pay attention to your body. Of course it does happen, so who knows. But I never wore maternity clothing. I wore some loose jeans and my bigger shirts (which I prefered to wear anyway). To get a seat on the bus I had to be turning green from motion sickness and still have to ask someone to move..

And you also mentioned something about extreme horniness - now what is the story there? You mean I wasn't the only horny pregnant woman?

Oh man, I was really horny. What was worst though is I was single from May onwards (No longer single, but it's still tough to have sex when one of us has to travel 1901 miles..) I had the most amazing dreams though. Thank goodness for those dreams, I almost always woke up satisfied..

Monday update: Caterpie is 9 months old as of Friday, and celebrated by getting ill all over me last night. He was fine this morning though, but poor guy didn't look so good the other night. He was so pale he was whiter than me (and that's saying something) After I leave here I'm going to hit the gym, as I really should be doing so. I want to try and get rid of some of this jelly belly..

[Flutterby]

And yes, definately good luck with the labour! Quick and easy (when you get to the hospital :D )

[lorene]

OK, now I need some kind and encouraging words. Contractions have tapered off, nothing to indicate that we are moving in the right direction. I'm torn between not wanting to be impatient and to "make the most of this time before my new arrival" and realizing that that is just pointless. I'm tired, I'm crabby, I'm not sleeping well, I'm rarely comfortable---there is no more to be made of this time.
To make matters worse, my mom just called while I was trying to take a nap and left one of those annoying, "OMG!!! Are you off having the baby??!!" messages. Why do people DO that? If I'm having the baby, those near and dear(ish) to me will know about it.
Don't piss off the preggo lady, folks, really. Just don't. She just might sit on you.

[norinew]

lorene, I know exactly what you mean about folks annoying you. When I was pregnant the second time around, from about the beginning of my 8th month, I'd walk into work, and the receptionist would say "Anything yet?" Well, hello! If there was "anything yet" would I be at work?? She was a really nice girl, and a great receptionist, but it took everything I had not to jump all over her!

As for words of encouragement, try this: no one has ever been pregnant forever! The baby will come, just not necessarily when you want it to. If you can't sleep, and are generally crabby, try renting a couple of movies you know you love, and watch them. I have comfort movies that I watch when I get sick. You know, I'm on too many meds to follow the plot of new ones, but I want to be entertained? The Green Mile, The Shawshank Redemtion, The Princess Bride and Pretty Woman. Every one of them guaranteed to satisfy, any time. Oh, and Forrest Gump.

Try it. It might help.

[dangermom]

Oh man, lorene those last few days are awful, aren't they? I know what you mean about how impossible it is to "enjoy and make the most of the time" when all you want is that baby outta there. You'll get more sleep in the hospital afterwards, I bet!

[fessie]

lorene I just the other day saw where studies have linked the amount of chocolate a pregnant woman consumes and how happy her baby is at six months!! Seriously!!

BTW, that horniness thing explains why I spent most of my pregnancy checking out Internet porn. No other kids, house to myself - what's a girl to do? At least I kept my feet up!

Two words, lorene - porn and chocolate!

Good luck!

[norinew]

Okay, guys, the moment you've all been waiting for (or not ;) ): norinew's dinner tip of the day! Pita pizzas! I split whole wheat mini pizzas to use as our pizza crusts. Top with Ragu Rich N Meaty spaghetti suace, mozzarella cheese, and whatever else you want. Way cheaper than ordering pizza, and much healthier, since you're using whole wheat crusts. Almost as easy as ordering pizza. One of the reasons I like pizza is it's a complete meal: veggies (in the sauce and whatever you choose to put on top), protein (in the sauce and cheese) complex carbs (in the sauce and crust) and dairy (in the cheese, of course). If you serve it with a nice salad and get your kids to eat some, all the better. But just this pizza is pretty darned balanced.

[norinew]

I split whole wheat mini pizzas
Obviously, I meant mini pitas. Duh!

[lorene]

[
Two words, lorene - porn and chocolate!

Good luck!

Chocolate and porn...OK! I can think of worse ways to spend my time. :)
I was far more interested in sex during my first pregnancy---I think having a 2-year-old to take care of this time around has just exhausted us.
Plus I think my husband is plain ol' scared of how big I am.
At the very end of my last pregnancy, he came to my 40-week appointment with me. The midwife asked if we had tried having sex to induce labor and we said no. Then she was poking around and said, "I can feel the baby's head!" After she left, I said to my husband, "I suppose that comment just about killed the idea of sex, huh?"
I was right.

[C3]

norinew, I tried your chicken nuggets the other day, except I couldn't find dry ranch dressing mix, so I used regular ranch dressing. They worked out well! Then, since I had a half bottle of the dressing left, last night I coated some chicken breasts with it, then dipped it in a mixture of bread crumbs, parmesan cheese, garlic powder, salt & pepper. I baked them and they turned out really great. My husband, the pickiest eater on the planet, said, "Yeah, I wouldn't mind if we had them again sometime."

Keep the recipes coming! I always have the worst time coming up with something. Our standards are tacos, spaghetti, chicken soup, and baked chicken.

[fessie]

Yeah! Three cheers for norinew and the rest of you domestic goddesses! This aspect of motherhood is more frightening to me than labor, so I appreciate learning from your expertise.

[LilyoftheValley]

Hey lorene, good luck! I never had contractions in the entire pregnancy until after my water broke and I was on the way to the hospital. ValleyGirl was born less than 10 hours after I felt my very first contraction. She would have been out even sooner if she hadn't decided to turn her head sideways. There is just no predicting, I guess.

Update on the yard sale front: I mentioned earlier in the thread that I got a safety gate at a yard sale this weekend. Well, I happened to be poking around on the Web, and I discovered that the $5 great condition (original instruction booklet and all) 3-panel gate goes for $135 retail! :D I think that's my best yard sale purchase ever. Oh, if there are any gamers out there, I should mention that I also got her to throw in Black and White for free.

I'm going in Friday to get my wisdom teeth removed (general anesthesia!). I'm still breastfeeding, but apparently as soon as you're alert enough to hold the baby, it's safe. I'm not allowed any good narcotics for the pain, though. I'm really nervous. Thank goodness my mother is coming up for the day to watch ValleyGirl. I think we may end up eating the same mush over this weekend. Pureed butternut squash, anyone?

[tanookie]

Hey Lily - need an exersaucer? (or anyone else who can pick up - I'm on the MA/NH border)

I love yard sales and consignment shops and ebay.

I'll have to try those recipes! I'm always on the lookout for easy to make and tasty to eat food.

[Flutterby]

lorene it is so bad waiting. By the time it was almost Christmas I was ready to get going though my due date wasn't until New Year's day. It'll happen when it happens :)

hmm something good to eat. I like sweet and sour meat balls.

Basically you just.. make meat balls. I just do a bit of egg and beef and cook them up. When they are about done you make a mix of ketchup (a cup or so), vinegar (about a tablespoon), brown sugar (maybe a tablespoon or two) and a pinch of dried mustard. Mix it up and taste. If you want more sweet, add sugar or more sour add vinegar. I really can't be accurate with that as it's a family recipe and I just mix it up. Pour the sauce over meatballs and let warm up. Serve on rice with a salad (or whatever veggies you want) on the side.

That's the hard thing about recipes you love.. sometimes you just can't measure it out to share with a friend.

lily, good with the babygate. I picked up one myself for $5 that regularly retails for about 50. I need to go pick up one that I can drill into the wall for upstairs..

Oh and with the mini pizza's recipe, we do something like that only on hamburger buns. The sauce is just ketchup and oregano, spread everything on the buns and pop in the oven until the cheese is all gooey.

I've realized something. I really don't like ketchup much (okay, not at all. If I need ketchup to eat something it's bad ie fries), but I use it as a base for a couple of sauces and to my stew gravy/liquid. Hmm I guess I'm weird.

[norinew]

Yeah! Three cheers for norinew and the rest of you domestic goddesses!

I cannot believe anyone used my name in the same sentence with the phrase "domestic goddess" and didn't choke! ;)

[fessie]

I have a question for you parents about age-appropriate toys. What's with this "not for 3 and under" restriction on all the good stuff? I mean, I'm not going to give my babies anything tiny or sharp (or raisiny), but why is EVERYTHING off limits?

And what's with the magic age of 3? I found this wonderful toychest at my favorite thrift store today, it looks brand new & was $8, toys included. I'd love to let them play with the little wooden blocks in the next few months, but in the stores they're labelled "3 and up". They would fit in a paper towel tube, which I was told is the criterion for a choking hazard - but for how long? Really until 3?

And this is odd - I bought one of those old red and blue Tupperware sorting toys with the yellow geometric shapes, which I always thought was a baby toy (8-9 months is when they like sorting stuff, right?). Only the pieces are about the same size as the forbidden wooden blocks, and they would definitely fit in a paper towel tube. Have toys become drastically more restricted in recent years? Is this just about avoiding lawsuits, or is there a good reason for being so cautious?

[fessie]

Oh, and Flutterby, I put ketchup on 'purt near EVERYTHING (mac 'n cheese & ketchup, yum!), but I won't eat tomatoes! Nope Nope Nope. So you're not the only weird one :) .

[tanookie]

I'm reasonably certain some toys have that 3&up label only to protect the manufacturer.

I just used my own judgement. YMMV obviously but I think Parallax and I fall into the really easy going to the point of making the grand parents insane type parents.

[fessie]

What's Parallax?

[tanookie]

Parallax is a husband who posts once in a blue moon....

[Flutterby]

And what's with the magic age of 3? I found this wonderful toychest at my favorite thrift store today, it looks brand new & was $8, toys included. I'd love to let them play with the little wooden blocks in the next few months, but in the stores they're labelled "3 and up". They would fit in a paper towel tube, which I was told is the criterion for a choking hazard - but for how long? Really until 3?

I think they put it at 3 because by that age they would hopefully know not to put something in their mouths, even when Mommy and Daddy aren't there. That and as tanookie says, to cover their asses.

I get to go search out toys at a Little Tykes sale tomorrow. We are leaving early (9) to get there and see about getting some deals before it's all picked over.

[dangermom]

I'm a bad mom: we had some of those toys before DangerGirl turned 3! Yes, it's to protect the manufacturers. IMO you can use your judgement and watch the kids. It's usually pretty obvious to a halfway intelligent person what you can give your kid (right up until she does something completely unexpected!).

The Tupperware toy was DangerBaby's favorite from about 12 months on. She loved to play with the shapes, but needed help putting them in--we would turn the right shape up and she'd get it in. Now, at 18 months, she's been putting them into the correct holes by herself for a couple of months.

Oh, and about wooden blocks--make sure they don't get chewed up. You don't want to be fishing splinters out of baby's mouth...that's probably why.

[JohnT]

We're bad parents too. Or so the common wisdom goes.

She likes Happy Meals. She knows pretty much every major "character" or "movie" or whatever... "Home on the Range, dada!"... "Look, Daddy - Elmo!" (and we don't even watch Elmo?)..."Dora!" She loves, loves, loves going to the mall - it is easily her favorite thing to do. She watches far more than the "recommended" amount of TV a day, and not all of it is stuff for kids - Mommy has a list of "safe" Buffy episodes (including the musical, to which Sophie sings along), and Daddy has no problem turning the TV to "Police Chase Videos" or the news while Sophie is in the room. She has her favorite CD's (including Barney), her favorite movies (the Lion King), her favorite junk food (popcorn. And ice cream, always ice cream with children. Pure heaven.) She likes eating out. She likes wasting her time on the swings at the parks, she like combing the hair of her "My Pretty Pony" (and Sophie calls it "My Pretty Pony"), she much prefers the singing styles of current 14 year-old teenybopping girls more than 18th-century sopranos (tested), she is big, wholesome, and corn-fed.

The common wisdom is this: Modern culture, American culture is bad. Simplistic, wasteful, damn near moronic. Hollywood is shallow. Pop/Rap/Country music is vapid and has always sucked. They don't write books like they used to, they don't make movies like they used to, they don't blah, blah, blah mindless consumerism, blah, blah, blah. Caring parents do all they can to shield their child from these horrible influences, all the better if they do so by scheduling their 3 year-old to all sorts of various activities ("Two is not too young for ballet, is it dear?")*, loser parents take their kids to McDonalds on their way to the movies, ensuring that, "Yes, I need the Hello Kitty toy that is not a toaster - we already have 3 of those!"

Poppycock! (Sorry for the language, but this isn't the Pit, you know. ;) )

We live in a rich and varied culture, we Americans, one continually enriched and made anew by our gift of assimilation, from the "blandness" of McDonalds to the spiciness of Cajun cooking, to the simplicity of "Titanic" to the quirkiness of "Big Fish", from Bing Crosby to P. Diddy, modern American culture is the most diverse and widespread of national cultures in the history of the planet, it's only challenger in scale would be the English, but not in diversity. From motion pictures to modern (post-1955) music to television to even sports (especially baseball and basketball), America has largely been the pace-setter worldwide in these forms, and even those that we haven't (say, theatrical productions), we've still done some quality work.

And it's odd, saying this, because I was one of those twenty-somethings, the one's who knew everything about parenting, who could actually utter the words "My child will..." without realizing how... inexperienced and naive I sounded. And I vowed that my kid would never watch Barney, that I would be reading (get this!) Ayn Rand to her by their second year (pardon me while I castigate myself: :smack: . Thanks.), that the house would be peaceful, with Mozarts piano concertos lightly playing in the background, my two-year old and I carefully going through the flash cards as we both were learning... some other language (I never had which language quite clear). I was even against perpetuating the "Santa Claus myth", declaring in the sort of intellectual smugness only a 24 year-old could muster, that lying to our child will do her more harm than... seeing all her friends get presents year after year while she doesn't, I guess.

:smack: :wally

:rolleyes:

:wally !

Somewhere along the line I remembered - I went to McD's, I did the Santa Claus thing, I knew all the cartoons that were on (this was the mid-seventies, though, so nowhere near as many as today), I read comic books rather than Tolstoy (or Ayn Rand), saw Star Wars and paid no attention to Annie Hall (hated it, actually, for having the temerity to beat the Greatest Movie of All Time for B. Picture), spent my summers riding bikes and visiting grandparents rather than Reading Camp or Karate school and, well, I turned out OK.

As will Sophie.

She lives a happy life, one where she is told constantly (and I mean hourly, more) how much she is loved and appreciated, how fun she is, and how much happier we are with her in our lives. She is an extraordinarily friendly child, one who has no qualms about walking up to strange children and saying "Hi, I'm Sophie." She has parents that adore her, she lives in a world pleasant, interesting, knowledgable, and mostly friendly, she wakes up each morning eager to get out of bed... and a large part, possibly the large part of that is the nation and culture that she's in.

My daughter is an American. As long as it's legal, I don't care what she becomes - bra burning lesbian, loving housewife, career woman (or hell, all three - why not?) But, regardless, she is still an American, and to me that implies a few things about the attitude that she should take to in life: optimism, friendliness, confidence, and yes, a pursuit of happiness... and it shows in our entertainment, especially our children's entertainment.

*I remember thinking that it would be cool to "raise a Mozart"... until I learned that it's a lot easier being "Mozart" when your father is one of the premiere violin instructors outside Vienna than when your old man can't even tell you which key is which on a piano without having to think about it.

[JohnT]

Sorry for ramblin', it's 4:00am and I've been away from the net for a week. I guess I just let it all hang out.

[norinew]

JohnT, Bravo! That was beautiful! Yes, I well remember the days, just prior to parenthood, when I said things like "I will never stick my kid in front of the TV just because I don't feel like dealing with them!" Ha! I've eaten those words so many times it's a wonder our grocery bill isn't lower!

fessie, yes, the under-3 warning is to protect the manufacturer, but I would put at least some of the blame on litigious consumers. Say, for example, some 18-month old was playing, unsupervised, with a very small toy, and choked on it. Does the mother think "OMG, why wasn't I watching her?" Or does the mother automatically shuffle the blame to the manufacturer "How come nobody told me this could happen?" and sue the asses of the manufacturer? Sadly, too many people (at the prompting of certain lawyers) would have chosen option B.

The fact is, some kids are good about not putting stuff in their mouths and some kids aren't. If your kids put everything in their mouths, use your own good judgment, but watch them carefully with the smaller things. Common sense is nice, but all too many folks seem unaware of how and when to apply it.

Well, I've got work to do, but I'm going to post my dinner recipes later.

[fessie]

Wow.

Dopers rule.

:)

Thanks for the input! I enjoy having my judgement honed by your more experienced voices, it's really helpful.


JohnT, I love reading your essays.!

[JohnT]

Well, the point is that too many parents castigate themselves for "taking the easy way out" when they pop that frozen pizza in the microwave, or put the Barney DVD on "infinite repeat" (or so it seems).

American culture has an intrinsic worth all it's own, and it is neither vapid nor shallow nor moronic, words used to disparage the efficiency of our art. While there's lots of it that one doesn't necessarily have to like, an honest appreciation of our culture would show that there are more talented people working in the arts and entertainment fields today (both professionals and amatuers), in more styles and forms, than there have ever been, and that they are putting more thought to their work than ever before. Much of this is because there are more people, but even more is because we're damned good at producing it and even better at distributing it.

Sophie's birthday is next week and she is thrilled to death about it. We're going to have about 6 kids (and assorted parents) over, and today we ordered her cake and balloons. Presents are already bought, and Sophie makes sure to tell everybody about her birthday... and I mean everybody. Halloween is coming up, and mom is dressing Sophie up as Athena, the Greek Goddess. We always do the mall thing at Halloween, and, like her birthday, Sophie cannot wait: "We're gonna have my birthday and then Halloween!"

Potty training has hit an unexpected snag - her BM's have dropped in number, as she's holding them in, not wanting to do them either in the toilet or in a diaper. :smack: Three days in a row she had a BM in a retail establishment, in her underwear, making a huge mess. "I's sorry, mama, I's sorry." She has been waking up at night with them, and we're having to use the diapers far more than we wanted because of this little hang-up of hers.

This is irritating, but not much to get worked up about as this, too, shall pass. :rimshot:

But seriously, she'll get over it in time. No big deal.

[norinew]

JohnT, when my middle daughter potty-trained, she peed in the potty a good six months before she pooped in the potty. She would bring me a diaper when she had to poop. Her pediatrician said not to press the issue, just let her poop in the diaper, she would poop in the potty when she was ready. And the first time she pooped in the potty, I made a huge deal out of it, and then she always did it. There are three things you cannot force a child to do: eat, sleep, and go to the bathroom. So this is where their battlegrounds are. But you're absolutely right. Don't make a big deal of it one way or the other, and she'll be fine.

[Flutterby]

Okay now I feel bad, Caterpie is watching Sing Along Songs in his high chair eating a biscuit (he ate all his lunch :) )

I try to not let it get to me what others say about my parenting. I'm doing the best I can, I love my son and he's happy and healthy (except for a cold right now but on the whole..)

I figure if the child is happy, healthy, not sitting in front of the TV all the time (or computer or wherever.. reading books outside though is fine ;) ) then we're doing good. So many parenting boards are just so.. judgemental. We recently had a troll at one which is a decent board most of the time (I just stay away from topics I don't want to get into) and in a discussion about an 11 y/o boy who had attempted to rape an old lady she suddenly popped out with 'Well one day your child will be doing stuff like this and we'll be discussing it.' My jaw dropped that she would say something about a baby who's just learning to walk while holding on to things..

Considering he's quite happy, growing fast (oh man so fast!) and hitting all his developmental stuff I figure I'm doing a good job :) I let her slide because I knew she was trolling.

[JohnT]

JohnT, when my middle daughter potty-trained, she peed in the potty a good six months before she pooped in the potty. She would bring me a diaper when she had to poop. Her pediatrician said not to press the issue, just let her poop in the diaper, she would poop in the potty when she was ready. And the first time she pooped in the potty, I made a huge deal out of it, and then she always did it. There are three things you cannot force a child to do: eat, sleep, and go to the bathroom. So this is where their battlegrounds are. But you're absolutely right. Don't make a big deal of it one way or the other, and she'll be fine.

Just as I clicked "submit reply", she came into the room, holding her butt with her left hand, stinking to high heaven. And she just went to the potty no less than 10 minutes before.

:rolleyes:

[norinew]

Originally posted by JohnT"Look, Daddy - Elmo!" (and we don't even watch Elmo?)
Hey, I know what you mean. . .we had a Dilbert book in the bathroom (shutup; ya gotta read something in there), and my four-year-old came in and saw it and said "oh, Dilbert!". How the hell did she know who Dilbert was??

Okay, folks, today's menu, complete with recipes.

Crock-Pot Deviled Chicken

6 TBSP each, butter and brown mustard
6 boneless, skinless chickent thighs
18 pkts Splenda
1/4 tsp. each nutmeg and crushed red pepper
1 C quick-cooking brown rice
1 can chicken broth

Put all ingredients except rice and chicken broth in crock pot; cook on low, stirring occasionally for 5 hours. Add rice and half of chicken broth, stir, cook for additional hour to hour and a half, adding more broth as needed. Serve when chicken is falling apart and rice is cooked.

Gingered Carrots

1 can carrots, drained
1 TBSP each butter and sugar-free maple syrup
1/4 tsp. ginger powder

Combine all ingredients in microwave-safe bowl; microwave on medium for 4-5 minutes. Stir well, serve.

I served these delectable dishes with Pillsbury Crusty Wheat Dinner Rolls (in your grocer's freezer case).

[tanookie]

My 3 year old was nagging me at a stop light. She saw all the other cars going but us. I explained that we were waiting for the left turn arrow. She's now the back seat driver from hell :)

The big birthday bash is tomorrow. If we survive, I will let everyone know how it went.

[Aspidistra]

(I'm late to the discussion, but what the hell... :D )

My attitude to the "small things that choke" issue has never been the same since we started taking the Small Girl to the park. She LOVES the park, it has nifty slides to slide on. And swings to swing on. And woodchips. Lots and lots of woodchips... to eat :smack:

So for the first 3 or 4 visits, I'm madly running around trying to STOP her from stuffing her face full of woodchips - basically an impossible task, since sucking on woodchips seemed to be her highest aspiration at the time. I got a whole lot more blase about the whole thing eventually, though never what you'd call happy

Anyway, she never choked, and she seems to have mostly gotten over her woodchip-eating compulsion.

Still, there she is, at 13 months, playing every day in a play area with litterally millions of items which totally fail the toilet-roll test (actually, the version I know is the "film-cannister test" - same diff anyway). It makes it a bit hard to be concerned about the occasional squeaky-toy under an inch wide!

[norinew]

Aspidistra, my guess would be that your little one got over the wood chip eating compulsion because you stopped trying to stop her from eating wood chips! Yes, little ones can be contrary that way. At some point, most of them think "Oh, let's see what it would take to send mom completely over the edge?" so they do something that's guaranteed to drive you batty. Some child-development experts say that children this young are not capable of being manipulative. I don't believe a word of it!

[Aspidistra]

Some child-development experts say that children this young are not capable of being manipulative. I don't believe a word of it!

My husband has a saying: "Anyone who doesn't believe in original sin hasn't spend enough time with two-year-olds"

;) :D

[Cartooniverse]

Let's see. She had surgery last Thursday so of course we were all there for her, then brought her home. He had a rollerhockey game on Friday night while she was busy recovering. She napped fitfully while he surfed the Internet and IM'd with his buddies and chick-pals.

Saturday, I rented "Superstar" for her to watch with me while he did chores and practiced electric guitar.

What?

Nobody set an age limit :D

My little ones are 14 1/3rd and 12 5/6ths.

:)

[Flutterby]

Hey, the more the merrier Cartooniverse!

How's your daughter recovering? Getting back to herself?

[dangermom]

Yes, hope your kid is doing well, Cartooniverse.

DangerDad has gone on a business trip. He's exhausted and lonely, I'm harried but at least getting a lot of sewing done. Also, we can eat pancakes for dinner and nobody cares. To make it just a tad more hair-raising, I'm doing the preschool group for the first time this week, my parents are also out of town, and I have a field trip in a couple of days too (I run school trips at the library; tiny but fun job).

But last night I still got our weekly babysitter, and went out to dinner with a friend. So that was fun!


Does anyone else, esp. with tiny kids, do that thing where when your spouse is gone, you have no incentive to cook? I don't know, maybe it's because there isn't anyone to talk with and have a nice grownup pleasant time with, but I stop wanting to cook real meals when DDad is gone. It makes me feel slightly unfeminist, like somewhere inside me I think he's the one who deserves a real dinner. Or maybe it's really just that I'm lazy. :p

[Flutterby]

You're not the only one.. only I'm cooking for myself and Mom. Most of the time if I don't cook supper we never really have any, just biscuits or something. When my brother comes over though, I go all out. Instead of the soup and buns I was planning to have we end up with steak and potatoes or whichever I have handy..

[InternetLegend]

Does anyone else, esp. with tiny kids, do that thing where when your spouse is gone, you have no incentive to cook? I don't know, maybe it's because there isn't anyone to talk with and have a nice grownup pleasant time with, but I stop wanting to cook real meals when DDad is gone. It makes me feel slightly unfeminist, like somewhere inside me I think he's the one who deserves a real dinner. Or maybe it's really just that I'm lazy. :pWell, since Cartooniverse started it, I feel justified in answering (my own tiny kids are almost 15 and 11 1/2). Yes, I do this all the time, and I have for a long time. It got to the point when I had to lay down the law (for myself as well as them) because it seemed like we were at the fast food place as soon as Mr. Legend's plane was in the air, and he went through a period of traveling over half the time.

When I realized that there were no clean glasses but I still didn't have a full dishwasher load because there were no plates or bowls, I realized we really needed to eat at home more.

[norinew]

Well, hubbynew is out of town Monday thru Friday quite often. However, since I have three kids, and two of them are teenagers, I still mostly cook anyway. However, when he's gone, I'll cook stuff that's quick and easy that we like but he doesn't. For instance, to me, hot dogs, cut up and simmered in baked beans, served with buttered wheat bread (to dip in the bean juice) is proof of the existence of a loving God. It's also ridiculously easy and cheap. Hubby doesn't care for it (bless his heart, he never says anything when I serve it to him anyway; he just eats; he's not a complainer, for which I'm eternally grateful). And, every once in a blue moon when he's out of town, I'll announce an "FFY" which in our household means "Fend For Yourself". I'll throw a sandwich and some apple slices on a plate for the little one, the older ones will fix canned soup or some such, and I usually eat cold cereal after the baby's in bed.

Cartooniverse, glad your progeny is doing well! My 13-year-old is going for some minor outpatient surgery this Wednesday. She wore the same pair of earrings for too long. She thought the back had fallen off of the right one, but it turns out some skin actually grew over it :eek: , and the doctor says it has to be surgically removed, under general anesthesia. She's never had an IV before, and she's pretty nervous about it.

[lorene]

Either way, I don't think I'm going to make it to my due date next Monday. (Pretty much guaranteed that I'm going to be late just by saying that, huh?)


I know it's kind of lame to quote myself here...but I'd just like to point out that I was wrong, wrong, wrong. Today is my due date, and not a twinge or contraction in sight.
I know things can happen quickly when they do happen, but color me impatient.
I feel like I'm waiting for a delayed flight to be called---I packed for the trip long ago, my bags are checked, I've got my boarding pass.
Now just call my damn flight!

[norinew]

I know it's kind of lame to quote myself here...but I'd just like to point out that I was wrong, wrong, wrong. Today is my due date, and not a twinge or contraction in sight.
I know things can happen quickly when they do happen, but color me impatient.
I feel like I'm waiting for a delayed flight to be called---I packed for the trip long ago, my bags are checked, I've got my boarding pass.
Now just call my damn flight!
Oh, lorene, I feel your pain! (Well, okay, the point is you're not feeling any pain yet, but you know what I mean ;) ) My first two kids were each two weeks late. I think the only reason I had the third one on time was that she was a scheduled C-section!

[LilyoftheValley]

Does anyone want to have an intelligent conversation about the flu vaccine? I'm tired of "OMG!!11! YOUR POISINING YOUR BABY!" with cites from mercola.com, and I figure that here I might get some rational thoughts.

Will you have your child vaccinated? (And how old is your child?)
Will you try to get the thimerosal-free vaccine?
Will you try to get yourself vaccinated even if you fall outside of the risk groups? (I heard a doctor on the radio today trying to talk generally healthy adults out of getting it because of the supply problems.)

I still don't know why the recommended age was lowered this year, so I'm hoping someone can explain that too.

[tanookie]

I go next week for Zackie's 1 year. I will be asking about both our shots (I fall into the high risk category) I will report back :)

My husband is one of those healthy adults but because he lives with me he is recommended to get vaccinated too.

[dangermom]

I'll ask about it at the next checkup; it's in a couple of weeks. Will report.

I have a new niece! As of yesterday afternoon. She was born a few weeks early by c-section because of a rather bad case of placenta previa. Everybody's happy and she's as cute as can be (and enviably small from my POV: 6 lbs. +, not bad for an early bird). Yay!

DangerDad's coming home from his trip late tonight. Yay!

Yesterday was my first day this year hosting our little preschool group. It's fun now that they're a little older and we can do neat stuff that requires more attention. Sometimes we do science experiments, we read interesting stories, and the other day we went to the fire station. Boy, is it tiring, though! I have much respect for teachers; I know I could never do it all day, every day.

[LilyoftheValley]

Yay for 1 year old Zackie and DangerNiece. ValleyGirl was 6lbs 11oz at one week early, so 6 lbs+ is pretty good for a few weeks!

By the way, I posted a parenting-related thread here (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=5338368#post5338368). I'm soliciting you guys to come share your thoughts, since my threads usually sink. :(

[lorene]

It's been recommended that we all get the vaccine in my house, since we will have an infant under 6 months there* PLUS I work with health-compromised adults. I didn't get a shot last year and ended up with a HORRIBLE flu. We couldn't get a shot for my daughter, either, because her pedi was kind of a dick about it (have a different ped this year), and I was so paranoid, having her in daycare and hearing all those horror stories on the news. So...yes, yes, n/a to your questions.

*if this baby ever decides to be born, that is.

[fessie]

So glad you brought up the vaccine issue, Lily - I've been wondering what on earth to do. I thought the thimersol had been phased out & that's why it's now called "DTaP", but maybe I'm wrong. Personally I hate the flu shot for myself, I've only had one once & didn't feel like it helped a whit. But of course I don't want to take chances with the kids. Is the flu that much worse for babies?

BTW, I like how you put that -- there are so many crazy threads about vaccines (on other message boards).

dangermom congratulations! And I hear you on the pre-school, gosh that must be so much work! My Aunt is teaching classes a couple of days a week & has the funniest stories.

norinew hope that surgery went okay! I'll provide tonight's recipe, since you're tied up:

Hot Dogs - grill & serve
Mac 'n Cheese (ketchup optional) - boil & serve (make sure the water's actually boiling before adding the macaroni) (this is how domestically-challenged we are, my sister did not know this & made a big wad of mac & cheese once)
Salad - ok, I actually did something creative here. Greens & carrots were all we had, so I threw in a pear, plus a little garlic that I'd grilled. And a mushroom. Then I found this jar of pickled ginger Hubby bought to go along with sushi. Added that. It was actually pretty tasty. Needed grapes.

[Flutterby]

Glad to hear things went well for your niece, she sounds like a nice size for being early :)

I had to look up the thimerosal, and realized it was what I thought it was. Also it's been mostly phased out in Canada (at least according to the local health authority).

All of us are going to be getting the flu vaccine, partially because we fall into the 'high risk/can get it for free' crowd and partially because I'd like to try and prevent some of the illness. I can get pretty sick in the winter at times and figure every little bit helps. Caterpie is also up to date on all of his vaccines, and not only because he goes to a dayhome. I can understand why some parents don't get the regular vaccines done but having seen some of the interesting shows and stuff last winter they had about vaccines I figure it's better safe than sorry.

[norinew]

Lily, my kids are all a little bit above the recommended age, so probably noone in casa de new will get the shot. However, I did have my little one vaccinated last year. There may be a risk from the shot, but I'm pretty sure the risk from the flu is greater.

norinew hope that surgery went okay! I'll provide tonight's recipe, since you're tied up:

The surgery went well. My daughter got (legally) stoned. She was being prepped for the procedure and the anasthesiologist came in to check on her; she said she was very nervous, but didn't guess anything could be done about that. The anasthesiologist grinned and said "We certainly can do something about that!" a few minutes later, a nurse came in with a little cup of red liquid for her to drink. When we were downstairs, just outside of the operating room, Arielle looked up at the wallpaper and said "Mom, why is that wallpaper moving? I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to be doing that!" I just laughed. I dunno what that red stuff was, but it must have been pretty good. This evening, she's feeling pretty good, hasn't even needed to take any Tylenol or anything so far. But I still told her she doesn't have to do schoolwork tonight. And I made her favorite dinner: meatballs in brown gravy (frozen meatballs, canned gravy), garlic toast, corn (from a can). No cooking prowess needed here, folks.

[JohnT]

Sunday is Sophie’s third birthday and the excitement is so thick in chez JohnT that you have to wade through it. I have no idea what Sophie is actually expecting a “birthday” to be, but she knows that it involves Dora, cake, friends and family, and most importantly to our very acquisitive little girl, the birthday is hers.

This week I’m in Blue Ridge GA, a “city” to the east of Ass-end and to the west of Nowhere. Thursday, I had need to go to Sam’s Club (and only Sam’s), and I had to go regardless of where one was located. Looking it up on the internet… oh, joy. The closest in terms of distance was Chattanooga, a good 70 mile drive. Atlanta was a possibility, but memories of the traffic stifled that impulse.

… However, the Knoxville Sam’s (where I live) was only 110 miles away (“only” in the sense that since I’m driving 70 miles…). Also, my family was there, and I missed them. So, off I went. Drove through the Ocoee valley on 64, got to Cleveland TN and turned north on I-75. Less than an hour later, and only two hours after I left, I’m shopping at Sam’s, buying materials for my business.

I decided not to call Mrs. JohnT, planning on surprising her, for Mrs. JohnT professed a loathing of surprises, a confession she has come to regret making. :D Even better, as I was driving home she called me, and, realizing the surprise could be total, we started chatting like things were “normal”, myself with the intention of keeping her on the phone for just 3 minutes (I was that close).

So I pull into our neighborhood, still chatting, and finally end up in the driveway. I slammed the car shut (loudly) and started for the front door…

“Wait, I think someone’s here.”
“Hmmm?”
“I think I heard a car door. Wait a sec, I’m gonna to get the door.” I press doorbell.
“There’s the doorbell. Funny, this guy looks like you….” opens door “…Oh, *#@!%!!!!”

She was dumbfounded, as one could expect, but very pleased. I told her what happened and she gave me a kiss and told me that Sophie would be thrilled, for she kept on saying “I need my Daddy” this week whenever she got a boo-boo. L Sophie, napping (Sophie takes late naps, from 4:30-7:00pm, and goes to bed around 9:00pm) heard the commotion and she bounded out of bed, still bleary-eyed, blinking, and rushed to the door, throwing herself at my defenseless legs.

We sat down and watched the Lion King, Sophie on my lap, until she woke up enough so that even the TV couldn’t keep up with her (don’t you just love that moment? :rolleyes: ;) ). She didn’t pay any attention to it, not after the first song, and she spent her time telling me about her week and what she and Mommy did today:

“I saw the Bad Guy and the Big Pumpkin, dada!” The “bad guy” is a large, wind-filled sock puppet on the roof of a party supply store. The “Big Pumpkin” is exactly what it sounds like – a large Halloween-pumpkin balloon on the same store.
“You did?!?”
“Yeah… I bock-toomed with Mommy at Party City.”
“Sophie, tell Daddy about how you and I tried on costumes at Party City.” Smooth. A translation without Sophie knowing that she’s being translated.
“You put on costumes?”
“Yeah! I bock-toomed Dora and Boots and Buh-bah!” Thus, Sophie verbs another noun. As I just did. :smack: Buh-bah=SpongeBob
“Wow, Sophie, that must have been fun!”
“Yeah! Dada, my Birthday coming soon!” And thus the focus is readjusted.

And so on for quite a while – Little Miss is not one to mince words, or leave a detail untold. Later on, we worked for a few seconds on how to say “costume”. I’ll worry about the verb/noun thing later, for now I think it’s rather endearing and a little creative. Sophie was never one to speak in mere words; sentences, phrases has always been her babble-in-trade, and this is just an extension of that:

“Dada? I wanna hi the baby.”

We ate dinner, rough-housed for about 20-30 minutes (Sophie is a pretty physical child who doesn’t mind getting a little bit man-handled), got ready for night-night, and read a couple of her favorite books – can’t remember the titles right now, but they deal with Baby and her dog Daisy, and her puppies, Morris, Delores, and Little Daisy. Really sweet books, I recommend them highly for your toddler. For about six months Sophie has been mimicking (sp?) both our reading and stuff she sees on TV – she’ll sing “Circle of Life”, she’ll “read” along with us during her favorite books, she quotes favorite SpongeBob lines, etc. Today we kind of acted out the book, barking when the puppies barked, pointing when Baby pointed, and etc, until it was over - “one more book. Please???” repeated successfully twice, but finally lost its power over Daddy, who did have a 2 hour drive back to GA. (I explained to Sophie, during dinner, that I would have to leave again after night-night, but will be back tomorrow. She was disappointed, but we think she understood.)

Oh! She also knows “Illinois”, can point to it on the map, and knows it as the place where Dada was born. She also knows where Georgia and Tennessee is… this is something she and Mommy played at today.

Mrs. JohnT and I talked for a few minutes, listening to Sophie jabber in the room next to us (at times we heard her bark, cracking us up to no end). With 9:30 approaching, I grabbed my keys, wallet, and three Diet Cokes, kissed the lovely and virtuous fair lady goodbye, and 2 hours later was back in Blue Ridge.

It was well worth the extra 80 miles.

[norinew]

JohnT, I do so love your little slice-of-life essays. Sophie's a lucky little girl (Mrs. JohnT is pretty lucky, too, I think).

Me, I'm not having such a good day today. Got the kidney stone blues again. And to top it off, the in-laws are here for the weekend. I've put some pork chops in the Crock Pot for dinner; about an hour before they're done, I'm going to throw a few sliced apples in there for flavor. I made my oldest daughter do dishes this morning, and she groaned at me.

I had such a time with Amanda (my oldest one) and her psych meds yesterday. Okay, let's back up about three weeks. She's been seeing a therapist who said that although he didn't have a psychiatrist working with him to write for psych meds, he would work with Amanda's pediatrician to get her refills (she's been on a pretty successful regimen for about six months now). So about three weeks ago, her therapist called the ped. and told the office we need refills soon. I called the office a week later to see if they were ready and was told "Well, I don't see any scrips for her, but her file is pulled; he must be working on them" I called a couple of days later to see if they were ready and was told no, but the nurse would check on them for me. Well, a few days after that, I had to take Arielle in about her surgery, and seeing the doc face-to-face, asked him what was going on with Amanda's scrips. He said he's not comfortable filling psych scrips and she'll have to find a psychiatrist to do it!! Dammit, why couldn't someone have told me that immediately? Or told her therapist that, or something?? So, this past Monday, I called the Dept. of Mental Health at the Health Dept. to set up for her to see Dr. Helz, the shrink Amanda had seen before. I spoke with Carla, Dr. Helz's nurse. Carla said that she wouldn't be able to get Amanda in to see Dr. Helz until November, but she could phone in refills. I told Amanda to call Wednesday and check with Carla about the refills (in less than a year, she'll be 18; I'm trying to get her to take some responsibility for herself), but she didn't; she forgot again on Thursday. By Friday morning, I decided that since the weekend was coming and Amanda was out of Zoloft, I'd better call. Then Carla told me that Dr. Helz would not refill the scrips because she hadn't seen Amanda since August. Why did she have to wait for Friday to tell me this? Well, Amanda being without her meds for a month or more is simply not an option. So I called Amanda's therapist, who had me come to his house to sign some release forms and take them to the Health Dept. in hopes that this would help them feel more comfortable about refilling Amanda's meds. I got home from doing all of this at about 2:35. There was a message on my voicemail from Carla. She said Dr. Helz had an opening, and wanted to see Amanda at 3:00!! Amanda got home from school just in time for me to get her there by 3:00. But holy crap, if anyone anywhere along the line had actually gotten off their asses and called me and told me there was a problem, yesterday's stresses would have been greatly reduced!

If this sounds rambling, please excuse me. It was very stressful, and I'm currently under the influence of narcotics.

On happier notes, my first ever DopeFest (first ever that I'm hosting; I've attended them) is coming up in a week. Too bad none of you live close enough to come, because meeting some of you guys face-to-face would be too cool for words.

[fessie]

norinew, so sorry to hear about your trials and tribulations! Here's hoping the weekend proves to be more soothing :cool: . Your dopefest sounds awesome - you never know!

[lorene]

My baby is here! 3 days late, but here!
He was 7lbs 15oz, 20" long. Labor was relatively smooth. We're all just getting home and catching up.
I really want to read everyone 's latest posts, and I'm sure I'll have time...oh, around 1am, post-nursing but pre-dozing.

[JohnT]

YAY!!!!!!

Congratulations!!! :D :D :D

:cool:

[norinew]

lorene, congratulations! See, I told you you wouldn't be pregnant forever ;) .

[LilyoftheValley]

Congratulations, lorene!!!

norinew, I am so dense that you need to teach me how to use a crockpot. What kind of liquid do you put in with a pork chop so it will cook? So sorry to hear about your hassles and stones. Medical stuff tends to be such a hassle. I've talked to people (with good health insurance) who haven't seen a doctor in 10 years, and it's just beyond my comprehension how nice that must be.

JohnT, I love your Sophie stories. If you ever do a blog, let me know.

[fessie]

JohnT that was so lovely! Wishing Sophie a Happy Birthday, and the T household much merriment!

lorene - Congratulations!!! We knew you'd all be great! Pix??? (no pressure)

Lily, I am so glad you asked norinew that question, I don't know how to "do crockpot" either, but was too embarrassed to admit it! Am eagerly awaiting her reply. Your thread on the costumes was an interesting question - didn't that develop into a great conversation!? I'm repeatedly delighted at what I learn here.

Okay, question from me. Is this weird or what? My daughter, 8 months old, has a temper! Not just the whine or cry of frustration, which both of them do. No. When she's mad she balls up her little fists and tenses her arms and shoulders, and grunts/bellows "Meh meh!!" in her little baby bellows. Her whole little body quivers! I don't know beans about babies - do most of them do this? Doesn't bode well for those terrible 2's!

[Flutterby]

JohnT Sophie sounds like a real sweetheart :) and a happy birthday to her!

lorene congrats on the new little one. Glad things went smoothly and you're all home now

lily and fessie I usually do roasts and soups in the crockpot myself, so norinew will probably have a better answer but I would think just a little water might be fine (very little for pork chops) or even just pop them in frozen and you have all that you need there. Here's some online crockpot recipes (http://www.goodfoodideas.freeservers.com/Crockpot%20Recipes.htm) I bookmarked this a couple weeks ago and haven't gotten around to really looking at it, but at first glance the recipes look pretty good. I've been experimenting a bit with the crockpot. At the very least it comes in handy and is nice for a weekend dinner where you want something filling, but not to spend a lot of time on.

[dangermom]

Hey, congratulations, lorene! Hope to hear more (and maybe see some pictures?) soon!

[norinew]

fessie and Lily, with crockpot cooking, you don't need as much liquid as with stove-top cooking, because it doesn't evaporate. I usually use canned broth. When I cooked the pork yesterday, I poured about a half-can of chicken broth in with the pork (about eight pork chops). I added oregano, salt and pepper, and then about an hour and a half before serving, I added four sliced apples and a couple of packets of Splenda to bring out the sweetness in the apples.

About a year ago, on flylady.net, they asked the subscribers to send in their favorite crock pot recipes. If you go to her website, and from the home page, click on "Food for Thought"; scroll about a third of the way down the page and you'll find a little section on slow cookers, along with a link to some great recipes.

[JohnT]

Well, the party was a joy, with Sophie having a blast. The amount of stuff that she got was impressive, from Play-Doh to DVD's to money for clothes. We invited all the kids in the street (3), her cousins (2), and a friend that Sophie knows from work (1), so we had 7 kids, four years-old or less, in our house getting wired on sugar, needy from watching one kid take center stage in a Rite of Acquiring Possessions, and cranky from approaching nap-times. In addition to them, we also had even more adults crowding themselves into our little home.

Sophie also got some cute clothes, and we got some wonderful pictures and video. She blew out all the candles on her cake (on the 14th try), which was mostly gone by the end of the party.

It was odd... it was like our little girl flipped a switch and "grew up" quite a bit that day. After Sunday, her diction became better, a lot more concepts began to be expressed (a dawning awareness of a sense of time is just one of them: "today", "tomorrow", and other like words are being used), and her ability to sustain a conversation increased. We also told her stuff like "Sophie, when your birthday comes, you'll no longer be a baby, you'll be a big girl!" and she is making the distinction between Sophie the baby and Sophie, now.

Today, we had a good day. We went to a favorite restaurant and had some delicious pizza, and then, after a trip to Wal-Mart, we went to go vote. Sophie went into the booth with me, and holding her, I pointed out which selections to make, and she pressed the buttons, culminating in her pressing the big green button that made our selections final. This left such an impression on her that she was speaking about it when she woke up from her nap, five hours later:

"I pressed the green button, mommy! I voted!"
"Yes you did, Sophie. We're so proud of our voting girl! Did you like voting?"
"Yeah!"

and etc, and etc.

As a reward for voting, Sophie was treated to TCBY, getting some yogurt, where we met a kindergartner named... something a little uncommon, beginning with "G" - like Gaylord. Sophie played with him and his cards, with Gaylord's father giving Sophie one of the packs (the man owns a nice bath and spa next to the where we voted, and is either loaded or in hock - probably a bit of both).

We then went to the library, where Sophie ran around, read a number of books, and got ssshhhh'd a number of times (did I mention that she is loud?) She was wearing a new pair of khaki's and a grey sweatshirt and looked absolutely adorable.

[lorene]

Wow, we should all have such enjoyable birthdays---for ourselves, too, not just for the kids.
My little girl got her first haircut yesterday. Yes, I know 2 years old is kind of late for that. She was pretty hair-challenged for a long time. I didn't trust my own skills at this (she has very curly hair, plus I have the memories of some really awful home haircuts, courtesy of Mom), so we went to one of those kid cut places. The idea was that my daughter would sit on my lap during the process, but she was kind of scared, so she ended up sitting (OK, really squirming) on my lap while facing me, with her arms thrown around my neck. Because she's not typically a big cuddler (even booboos really only require the most cursory of cuddles before she is off and running again), I selfishly enjoyed those few moments. Not that I was glad she was frightened. I was just glad to be the one to help her handle it.
The new guy is 10 days old today. It's funny, his ister has always been on the small side (10th percentile for height/weight), but she seems ginormous next to him. The other day, it struck me as ridiculous that we even start out this small---how can someone be 10 days old? Especially someone for whom I am responsible?! Anyhow, the girl has adjusted well to having him here. Our biggest problem is getting her to be gentle when she hugs and kisses him.
Well, look at the time. According to my little human alarm here, it's time to nurse again.

[norinew]

lorene, those first couple of months are, I think, some of the hardest, and some of the best. It's such a grab-bag of emotions and feelings! Well, treasure the good, and know that the bad will pass (or at least morph into a different kind of bad :rolleyes: ).

I hosted my first dopefest last night (not the first I've ever been to, just the first I've ever hosted), and my 17-year-old, who cannot bear to not be the focus of attention just wigged out. Crying because neither her father nor I would drive her to an AA meeting (neither of us convinced she ever really had a drinking problem, but that's a whole 'nother post) when she never even tried to find a ride from anyone else (not to mention that it's within easy walking distance); having a temper fit because I wouldn't give her money for bubblegum; telling me she felt like cutting herself (I told her to call her therapist; she refused. I told her to call her therapist; she refused. I told her to call her therapist, she finally did and then came whining to me about how he hadn't been sympathetic enough). She is such a drama queen! But we managed to have a good time, anyway. Anita Vacation, danceswithcats, RTFirefly, and Two Trouts came. It was great!

I let Mariah stay up way past her bedtime because of the "party" (Dopefest is not a term I use around her, as I wouldn't be pleased to have her telling her teacher about it ;) ), and when I finally put her down to bed, she fell asleep before I was even done reading to her!

[dangermom]

I spent most of yesterday squished into a tiny Honda with my parents and little sister (leaving dad to cope with the younguns alone, hahahah). We went to see the new baby in the family! She is so adorable, and we mainly sat around and admired her for several hours before shoehorning ourselves back into the car for a long, rainy drive home. This is my youngest brother's daughter, and his wife's mom is staying with them for a month to help out. She speaks not a word of English, is a great cook, and gave us all presents which was very embarrassing because we didn't think of bringing presents for her! We had a good time.

Today is general clean-up day, so I should be vacuuming, not posting, and we have kung-fu for 4-yo's later in the day. DangerBaby is running around like a pro, and coming out with new words every day. She has finally started to say her big sister's name, and likes to point things out more than ever--"Ook! Moon! Ook! Books! Ook! Toes!" (That means "look!")

Now that the cool weather is finally here--it hit the low 90's just last week--I can make winter dinners. I'm much better at those. :)

[lorene]

Does anyone have any experience with either infant reflux or allergy/sensitivity to milk proteins?
New Baby has been screaming bloody murder about 30 minutes after nursing, every time. Last about 30 minutes to an hour. neither Mylicon drops nor Gripe Water help. Won't tolerate being put on his back, unless he is at an angle.
Saw pediatrician today. She told me to first try eliminating all dairy and beef from my diet. Gave a script for Prilosec if that doesn't help. The no dairy thing is a little daunting, the websites I have looked at for infant reflux even more so. Infant relux seems like a VERY serious disorder. I don't know if we are truly at that level---or maybe I just don't want to be.
I don't know if I even have much of a question here. Just looking for advice and experiences.

[LilyoftheValley]

lorene, I know reflux babies from another message board, and it seems very serious. I also know women who've eliminated all dairy from their diets with great difficulty. Either way, I wish you guys the best. I don't have any tips myself, except to mention that I love the kellymom (http://www.kellymom.com/) site for all things nursing -- I'm sure there's good info there if you haven't been there yet.

I'm also seeking advice on two fronts.

1) We're looking to visit the b-i-l/s-i-l for Thanksgiving. It's a 6-hour drive each way (without Thanksgiving traffic!). What do I need to know for traveling with a 9 month old?

2) I'm considering this (http://www.geocities.com/thanegalena/friends2.jpg) picture for a Christmas card. It's so hard to get a good pic of my daughter and "her" doggy (they are inseparable already). Please be honest -- what do you think? I am of course highly biased.

[norinew]

lorene, unfortunately, I have no experience with these particular problems, but I sure hope you get things straightened out soon!

Lily, I drove to Florida with my kids when my youngest was just under a year; here are some things that helped: easy-to-hold-onto toys (if she has toys that need batteries, make sure you take spares); safe, not-too-messy snacks; favorite blanky, etc. plenty of bottles of milk, juice, water. Plenty of rest-stops. It would be particularly good if you could manage to stop somewhere about halfway that offers an opportunity for her to get down and on the floor (a large, indoor visitors center would do the trick). I'm assuming you'll be staying overnight at family's house?

[fessie]

loreneHere's a link to another message board (http://bbs.babycenter.com/board/baby/babybreastfeed/1252546) where they're discussing reflux during breastfeeding. I didn't happen to have that problem, but I've seen postings from a lot of other women who have - seems like medication works for many of them. Hope the info helps!

LilyThat picture is absolutely adorable! We'll be traveling with our twins shortly & are planning to stop and let them stretch after a couple of hours. I was thinking a McDonald's playland might help, although my germ phobia may keep me from trying. They're pretty good car sleepers - usually - but of course every month things change.

[norinew]

I was thinking a McDonald's playland might help

These have helped us enormously!! I just wasn't sure if Lily's little one was old enough to appreciate them. The Chick-Fil-A's that have play areas often have a special section designed just for babies and very young kids, but these are often not an option.

[C3]

1) We're looking to visit the b-i-l/s-i-l for Thanksgiving. It's a 6-hour drive each way (without Thanksgiving traffic!). What do I need to know for traveling with a 9 month old?


I think I may have a bit of expertise in this area. When my son was 10 months old, we drove from South Carolina to Florida with him (8 hours), then flew from Florida to Australia. The trip from FL to Aus was 36 hours, door to airport.

First, it probably won't be as bad as you think. I was terrified of the experience, but he did really well and it wasn't as horrific as I thought it was going to be.

We brought a whole bag full of toys he'd never seen before...little things, like a new ball, little bath toys, a book, etc. If he started getting a little fidgety, we'd pull a new one out.

Bring plenty of Cheerios. I think we went through a whole Giant-sized box on that trip.

A trick that my brother uses (father of 4 boys, ranging in ages 2-14), is to travel at night or in the evening. That way, the baby dozes off and sleeps the whole way. Maybe you could leave at about 5 or 6, your bub could have a snack in the car, then sleep.

We just took a car trip from north of Sydney to Brisbane a few weeks ago (12 hours each way). I'll second the McDonalds playlands for older kids. We stopped at a couple. It might still work for your baby to at least be able to stretch and see a whole bunch of kids running around. It might grab her interest and be a good break for her. I don't know why more restaurants along the highways don't have kiddie play areas - that was the only thing pulling our business to McD's.