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Derleth
09-16-2004, 07:53 AM
This thread will be for snappy lines that could go (or have gone) in sigs, bumperstickers, etc.

The Rapture will be catch-and-release.
Cutting education to fund prisons is contributing to the cause to finance the effects.
Alfred E. Neuman for President: You could do worse. You always have.
The television will not be revolutionized.
Anyone capable of becoming President is unfit for the job.
You can't win, you can't break even, and you can't quit the game.

AskNott
09-16-2004, 03:23 PM
That's a grand list, Derleth. I may return with some other suggestions.

Right now, though, I'd like to ask about your Location. Havre, Montana? I have read that Le Havre in the Netherlands means "the harbor." Is your Location a gag, or is there a harbor in Montana I don't know about? :confused:

Derleth
09-18-2004, 03:05 AM
Right now, though, I'd like to ask about your Location. Havre, Montana? I have read that Le Havre in the Netherlands means "the harbor." Is your Location a gag, or is there a harbor in Montana I don't know about? :confused:Yes, AskNott, there is a Havre, Montana (http://www.mapquest.com/maps/map.adp?country=US&address=&city=Havre&state=MT). It's a midsized town northwest of Billings, well to the east of Glacier, and a good ways northeast of Helena. It was named after the town Le Havre in France by Great Northern Railroad officials (http://www.railroads-of-montana.com/page13.html). As I recall, one of the founders had a grandmother from that town.

This is actually a fairly common question, assuming the questioner knows a bit of French and little Montana history. The town was founded by the railroad and still has a good deal of railroad jobs. The fact that the railroad is going down the tubes means this town isn't exactly the stellar performer it once was.

Ephemera
09-18-2004, 03:09 AM
My favorite one-liner, signifying my atheism and irreverance towards theism in general, is: Never believe in Gods. It just encourages Them.

I picked it up from a thread here on the boards at least a year ago, maybe longer. Not sure where the person I took it from got it.

Colophon
09-18-2004, 03:21 AM
Derleth, how do you pronounce "Havre" over there? Just curious.

That wasn't a sig, by the way.

Not a one-liner, but one I saw the other day that made me chuckle:

----------------

"Who was that woman I seen you with last night?"

"You mean: 'I saw.'"

"Sorry -- who was that eyesore I seen you with last night?"

D.E.S.K.Top668
09-18-2004, 10:04 AM
My current sig at another board--
Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "Holy S**t! What a ride!"

Peace - DESK

LSLGuy
09-18-2004, 10:12 AM
My favorite one-liner, signifying my atheism and irreverance towards theism in general, is: Never believe in Gods. It just encourages Them..I'm with you. I recently saw a bumper sticker that said God save me from Your followers. Here in the Bible belt I thought that showed a very good grasp of the situation.

AskNott
09-18-2004, 11:21 AM
"Without ME, you're just Aweso." -- a t-shirt in an ad in the back of Rolling Stone (tshirtsthatsuck.com ?)

panache45
09-18-2004, 11:25 AM
I'm with you. I recently saw a bumper sticker that said God save me from Your followers. Here in the Bible belt I thought that showed a very good grasp of the situation.
"Dear God, save us from the people who believe in you."

AskNott
09-18-2004, 03:24 PM
Then: Those are our women, and you niggers can't marry them.
Now: Those are our women, and you lesbians can't marry them.

Flutterby
09-18-2004, 03:42 PM
I'm with you. I recently saw a bumper sticker that said God save me from Your followers. Here in the Bible belt I thought that showed a very good grasp of the situation.

Another variation is "I have nothing against God, it's his followers I can't stand."

tygerbryght
09-18-2004, 04:47 PM
Yes, AskNott, there is a Havre, Montana (http://www.mapquest.com/maps/map.adp?country=US&address=&city=Havre&state=MT). It's a midsized town northwest of Billings, well to the east of Glacier, and a good ways northeast of Helena.
....
And nearly on the Canadian border. Tell me, do you do more shopping in Medicine Hat than in Helena? :)

Jayn_Newell
09-18-2004, 05:36 PM
I'm with you. I recently saw a bumper sticker that said God save me from Your followers. Here in the Bible belt I thought that showed a very good grasp of the situation.

I have a pin with that line, as well as another which reads Recovering Catholic. I never wear them off campus though, or if I do, they're covered. Flutterby's variation sums up my opinion on the matter.

The same place i got the pins also sells bumper stickers. I remember they have one which reads My other car is a broom. Another favorite is Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an idiot.

SteveG1
09-18-2004, 07:31 PM
If olive oil is made of olives and corn oil is made of corn, then baby oil is made of...OH NO!!

Why is it those strangers always have the best damn candy...

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. They have never forgotten this.

Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Light travels faster than sound.This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

i TrIeD sNiFfInG cOkE oNcE, bUt ThE iCe CuBeS gOt StUcK iN mY nOsE

If vegetarians eat vegeatables, and fruitarians eat fruit, what do humanitarians eat???

picunurse
09-19-2004, 02:48 AM
Some old favs:
All men are animals, but some make good pets.
I don't see you, so, don't pretend to be there.
Out of my mind, Back in 5 minutes
Visualize whirled peas
There's one in every crowd, and he always finds me.
I'm sure you're considered hansome on your home planet
I do, but not with you.

AskNott
09-19-2004, 11:09 AM
"I don't use the word lesbian. I call 'em vagitarians." --Randi Rhodes

Ruby
09-19-2004, 12:33 PM
Some of my favorites...


I donít need a memory. I have an imagination.

Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.

She listened to her heart above all the over voices.

Flutterby
09-19-2004, 01:21 PM
Some I wrote down:

Inside me is a thin woman screaming to get out, but I keep her sedated with chocolate.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

Maastricht
09-19-2004, 02:27 PM
The larger the island of knowledge, the longer the shoreline of wonder

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent

Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty

Those who dance are thought mad by those who hear not the music

The best things in life aren't things

American Non-Sequitur Society--We don't make sense, but we do like pizza

Be yourself--it's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it

Get thee down. Be thou funky.

Life is a journey. Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it

May the great galactic kitten always purr you to sleep

Graduate of the Cat School of Excuses "I meant to do that"

Whatever you're doing, it's not as important as petting the cat

Do or do not...There is no try

Never criticize a man till you've walked a mile in his shoes. Then if he didn't like what you've said, he's a mile away and barefoot.

No sympathy for self-inflicted wounds.

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the rat to die.

Sometimes the only solution is to find a new problem.

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more!

By God, for a moment there it all made sense !

Does anyone have any questions? Any answers? Anyone care for a mint?

Hell hath no fury like a vested interest masquerading as a moral principle.

rowrrbazzle
09-19-2004, 09:40 PM
"One has to belong to the intelligentsia to believe things like that: no ordinary man could be such a fool."

George Orwell, "Notes on Nationalism"

umop ap!sdn
09-20-2004, 03:48 AM
Ooh! Can we make up our own lines too?

If time is money, why are there 100 cents in a dollar but only 60 minutes in an hour?

SPOOFE
09-20-2004, 03:59 AM
The only reason I think I'm always right is because I'm a pessimist.

35340
09-20-2004, 08:33 AM
"Rescuing maidens is all well and good, but it might be wise to wonder how they came into the company of dragons." - CheapBastid

Derleth
09-20-2004, 10:35 AM
Derleth, how do you pronounce "Havre" over there?Aw, that's one of our shibboleths!

("Hav-er", as in "You can")

And nearly on the Canadian border. Tell me, do you do more shopping in Medicine Hat than in Helena? :)I usually don't shop in either place: It's less of a hassle to go to Great Falls, or order what I need through the mail. I also have relatives around Missoula, so when I go there I do some shopping.

To be fair, I could go more often, but the savings aren't worth the hassle of converting currency and driving all that way, and then having to go hours out of my way because the crossing I used to get into Canada closed at five. (Even though we are on the border, it's still three hours to Medicine Hat, and six to Calgary. Edmonton, for all of the convenience of its gigantic hugeass mall, isn't worth it unless I'm planning to spend the night.)

Ooh! Can we make up our own lines too?Of course. :)

Paul in Qatar
09-20-2004, 10:54 AM
Some serious, some not... depends where you post of course:

'Our policy is not directed against any country or doctrine, but against hunger, poverty, desperation and chaos.' George C Marshall.

'Men sleep peacefully in their beds at night because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf' Eric Blair

'"My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening thru a cosmic vapor of invention! " Blazing Saddles

'Romani ite domum!'

'Reunite Gonwanaland!'

'It is better that They do it imperfectly than you do it perfectly. For it is their war and their country and your time here is limited.' Lawrence of Arabia, The Seven Pillars of Wisdom

"Pacifism is objectively pro-Fascist. This is elementary common sense. If you hamper the war effort of one side you automatically help out that of the other. Nor is there any real way of remaining outside such a war as the present one." Eric Blair

"What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason! how infinite in faculties! in form and moving, how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension, how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals!" Big Bill Shakespeare, Hamlet

But all in all, I like my sig the best:

CandidGamera
09-20-2004, 10:59 AM
My favorite one-liner that I can think of at the moment shows off my gamer-geek roots, and will only be funny to those with similar roots.

"Jesus saves - and takes half damage."

Flutterby
09-20-2004, 11:44 AM
Oh well if we canmake them up:

Normalcy is relative. - Me

Death, as life, is what you make it. - Amara Chandra*

Of course I'm sure, do you think I could f*ck up this bad if I wasn't sure? - Merile's* Motto

We are here and it is now, everything else is moonshine.

Dawn is but a breath away, but in that moment anything is possible. - Me again

*These are my roleplaying characters from various games. Amara is an incarnation of Death, Merile is a vampire.

Maastricht
09-20-2004, 12:43 PM
Here's a cool site (http://217.11.110.254/topics/) that lets you look up quotes you haven't got quite right, and lets you look by keyword;

Here's another selection (http://www.coolquotescollection.com/?PHPSESSID=37e8fc11f5a0ce47e746b0d6d53d28ae)
An anti-religious selection you can find here, (http://www.doorbell.net/tlr/god.htm) so I've thrown in a Pro-Christian bumper-sticker collection (http://www.roughoats.com/stickerstore/christian-stickers.htm) and a Pagan one (http://witchessupplystore.com/Witches-Art-Bumper-Sticker.shtml) to even the score (Anyone know where I can find islamic bumper-stickers? ;)

And finally, I got mine from this huge collection of quotes (http://www.nancybuttons.com/catalog.cgi?action=browse&o_selected=&o_custom=). The site sells all quotes as bumperstickers!

umop ap!sdn
09-20-2004, 01:31 PM
Just remembered one from my computer courses.

"Anyone can make a mistake, but if you really want to b*lls it up, you need a computer."

Seems to be paraphrasing Dan Rather.

tygerbryght
09-21-2004, 01:37 AM
<snip>

'Men sleep peacefully in their beds at night because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf' Eric Blair

<snip>
I believe this is also attributed to Kipling.

trupa
09-21-2004, 12:39 PM
And nearly on the Canadian border. Tell me, do you do more shopping in Medicine Hat than in Helena? :)

Or in Calgary? Do I smell the possibility of a micro-Calgary dopefest?

Aragowyn
09-21-2004, 06:46 PM
Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows - Not sure who (I've seen it attributed to several names)

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. - Mark Twain

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. - Dr. Seuss (this one I've used many times as my sig)

Unintentionally Blank
09-21-2004, 07:18 PM
Appropo of the impending petroleum apocalypse:

The Stone age didn't end to to a lack of stones, it ended because of bronze.

Unintentionally Blank
09-21-2004, 07:19 PM
:smack: to to = due to

JoeSki
09-21-2004, 09:04 PM
and I said "that is a vegetarian burger buddy! We just cooked him five minutes ago!" BWAHAHAHA.

You think you're better than me? I've been sticking $30 in pennies up my ass for the last 11 years! That's 3,000 pennies a day; 21,000 pennies a week; 1,092,000 pennies a year! To date that's 12,012,000 pennies, 8 times the population of Nebraska. Those pennies were in my ass! You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You handle my ass pennies everyday. You pick up my ass pennies for goodluck. You throw my ass pennies in fountains and make wishes on them. You give my ass pennies to your daughter so she can buy gumdrops!--Upright Citizens Brigade


.....naked

JoeSki
09-21-2004, 10:31 PM
Sorry for killing the thread Derlith :( .

phouka
09-21-2004, 10:52 PM
A recently spotted one:


Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard - be evil.

Derleth
09-22-2004, 03:04 AM
Sorry for killing the thread Derlith :( .Anyone who quotes the "Upright Citizens Brigade" need never apologize to me. ;)

TeaElle
09-22-2004, 03:56 AM
We are number one. All others are number two, or lower.
The cure is worse than the disease.
Forecast for tomorrow; A few sprinkles of genius with a chance of doom.
You're amusing in a way. Just not a funny way.
What's the point of having a democracy, if everybody's going to vote wrong?
I've learned one thing in my life; never fry chicken when you are naked.
I love the sea, so beautiful, so mysterious... so full of fish.
I don't want more choice, I just want nicer things!
Sometimes I guess there just aren't enough rocks.
Remember: We give extra points for alacrity and effulgence.
Snakes trumps heights.
It's on the Internet, so you know it's true.