Ladies: Manly men, or metrosexual?

[bouv]

So, if you had to choose only one type of man to be in love with, only one type to spend the rest of your life being around, which would it be?

Keep in mind, your manly man, while being able to fix your car, chop some firewood, and defend your honor if need be, will also be dirty. Very dirty. I understand some women like a big, strong man to be a little dirty and sweaty from time to time...but a dirty, sweaty man 24x7? He could go days without showering. You can't take him anyplace nice to eat, as all he wears are torn t-shirts and dirty jeans. But again, he's muscular, has some manly stubble, and can sweep you off your feet to go make passionate, hot, primal, animal-like love to you. But he stinks. He could go on and on for hours about cars, hunting, and sports, but you can't have an intelligent conversation with him about anything else. And NEVER ask him what he's thinking about, the answer will always be "nuthin'," "food," or "women."

A 'metrosexual', on the other hand, will be very clean. He takes care of his appearance. He showers daily, moisturizes and shaves to give his skin a silky smoothness, and dresses well. But he canot and WILL not do any physical labor. Rake the lawn? That's the gardeners job! Fix the car? There's all that grease! The mechanic can do it. He will woo you with roses, chocolates, and erotic poetry, and then escort you to bed for a sensual night of love making. He can go to a fancy restauraunt and talk about politics, but will not watch your barbaric favourite football team pound your heated rivals into the ground.

So, if you had to choose between the two extremes, what would you choose?

[UrbanChic]

If I had to choose between the two extremes, I'd choose the latter. I can hire someone to do the other things. I cannot abide a dirty, smelly man.

I'd be a little sad, though, as 'making love' isn't really my cup of tea.

[Kythereia]

*sigh* I'd have to go with the metrosexual. But sometimes I like a manly man... :o

[lavenderviolet]

Yes, I vote for the metrosexual too. I just can't deal with a smelly guy.
It would be a hard decision if the manly man took a shower though, because I can appreciate a handy guy.

[chula]

I'd have to go with the metrosexual too, though the idea of being with a guy who smells better than me is weird.

[levdrakon]

Ooh, I'm not sure I like where this thread is going, and I'm not even a straight guy.

[amarinth]

That's because we're forced to choose between the two extremes (and I'd also go with the majority - showers are an absolute necessity).

In this, somewhere in the middle is way better than either end of the spectrum.

[chula]

Ooh, I'm not sure I like where this thread is going, and I'm not even a straight guy. :confused: Are you offended by our bashing smelly guys?

[Telperien]

I really cannot decide. It's the "won't shower for days at a time" bit that puts me off the so-called manly man, and the metrosexual as presented seems too involved with his appearance. I don't think I could stand a man who was afraid to break his pretty nails. Anyway, I'm no slob, but I'm not much into all that fancy moisturizin' and such. A man who did it more than I did would get on my nerves something terrible.

[Scribble]

Wait a minute--where do geek men fit into this? I go for nerdboys over either so-called "manly" men or chiquer-than-thou metrosexuals. Who would want some grunting, reeking, beer-filled hulk of testosterone poisoning? And I certainly can't see myself with any guy who's more interested in not chipping his nails than he is about figuring out how his car's engine works. (I, for one, will pick learning about the engine over keeping my manicure perfect any day of the week. ) Besides, while I do care somewhat about what I look like, there are lots of things I love to do that entail looking like a total wreck. Any guy who couldn't accept that is someone I couldn't stay with.

I need someone who can keep my attention and share my interests. Someone who liked to read, could hold an interesting and witty conversation, someone passionate about something other than sports or haircare. I can't imagine getting stuck with either of the men the OP lists.

[FaerieBeth]

Oh, I hate choosing from one extreme or the other. The part about going for days without showering, though, tips the scales to the metro-extreme. I despise grubby fingernails!

That being said, I will always choose option C as presented by Scribble. Give me a sweet, geeky guy any day of the week. That's where the good stuff is, baby! :cool:


FaerieBeth

[bouv]

Hmmm...this thread has become more beneficial for me than I realized.

Ladies, come one, come all: get your hunk of nerd love from bouv! Watch, as he mods his XBOX! Be fascinated by his discussion of Futurama! Fall in love with his scrawny girl arms!

[levdrakon]

:confused: Are you offended by our bashing smelly guys?

Not exactly. But I'm not huge on romance anyway, and I can get pretty smelling witty intelligent conversation in a fancy cafe from my metrosexual friends.

But a manly man, who can fix my car, chop firewood, defend my honor, muscular, has some manly stubble, and can sweep me off my feet to go make passionate, hot, primal, animal-like love is pretty hard to come by.

I can always lure him into the shower with promises of primal animal-like love and then scrub him head to toe!

Whereas you can't turn a metrosexual into the former, when need be. Nor can you hire it. Well you can I guess, but it gets expensive.

[Telperien]

Mmmm...geek boys. Best choice.

[testride]

Wait a minute. Why is a "manly" man dirty and stupid? What kind of definition is that? Even in movie fantasies, what kind of hero can be described like that? John Wayne? Kirk Douglas? Sean Connery? Russell Crowe? What makes you think a working man doesn't wash, read or think?

[bouv]

I think we need to add a third choice, but, going with our 'extreme theme', the option is 'nerd-to-the-max.'

None of this cute and addorable nerd stuff a la Toby McGuire. We're talking full bore, balls to the wall nerd. Revenge of the Nerds nerd. Horn-rimmed glasses, acne, buck-teeth, annoying laugh, no social skills whatsoever, and daethly afraid of all human contact not intermediated through a computer. However, he will happily go places...so long as those places are the movies, inrernet-cafe, or some similarly dark place where little talking is involved. He is usually clean, though sometimes a full day and night of gaming can give him some off smells, but he will gladly shower. He can fix any computer or electronics problem you have, but will not do any other manual labor, because he'll get an asthma attack. He will, one day, have tons of money, but he won't do anything fun with it, aside from the newest and best electronics and computers. You can have an intelligent conversation, provided it's about Lord of the Rings or Star Trek.

Hmm...I think, even taken to it's extreme, this is a clear best choice.

[Telperien]

Nerds/geeks all the way, baby!

So, bouv...

how you doin'?

:D

[Scribble]

Wait a minute. Why is a "manly" man dirty and stupid? What kind of definition is that? Even in movie fantasies, what kind of hero can be described like that? John Wayne? Kirk Douglas? Sean Connery? Russell Crowe? What makes you think a working man doesn't wash, read or think?

Testride, I don't think the OP meant to imply that clearly masculine men don't wash, read or think. I'd bet that everyone on these boards knows better than that. The OP wanted to know what would happen if we had to choose to live with one of two stereotypes of guys. The word the OP used to describe one was "manly" (note the quotes)--the kind of guy who probably thinks of himself as one big hunk o' man but who might be really gross. That's really all there is to it, I think. I get the feeling that the question was designed to be kind of ridiculous and light-hearted. I don't think there's a woman on this planet who will ever be faced with the choice the OP presents.

[The Flying Dutchman]

All you women should feel sorry for your grandmothers. You do realize that before the 50s, few people showered and you were lucky if you got to bathe twice a week.

[pokey]

Dirty man, please.

[Ellis Dee]

I don't understand the basic concept of manly men not showering.

Manly men do manual labor for a living. They work as mechanics, construction workers, landscapers, athletes, and other such sweat-inducing jobs.

Not one man on the planet has ever gone to a day of work like those mentioned and come home without immediately showering.

The shower is possibly the high point of the manly man's day. It feels good to get the grime of work off you, and the hot water relaxes all those muscles he strained all day.

Really, to think that a guy who does manual labor doesn't shower the second he gets home is one of the silliest things I've ever heard.

But hey, I guess the poll had to skew for the metrosexual somehow, and that was the easiest way. Least in touch with reality, but easiest.

Regarding the metrosexual, you forgot to add that he won't kill any bugs or deal with any pests...you have to kill the giant spider, because he's more afraid than you are. A rat running around? He jumps in your arms.

[RickJay]

Nerds/geeks all the way, baby!
I've always found it amusing all the women on the SDMB who claim to be attracted to nerds and geeks. Hundreds of them. And yet the nerds and geeks all have so much trouble getting women.

Is it that the nerds and the geeks have somehow magically all been born in different cities from where the women who love them were born? Or are people maybe not wholly realistic about what actually attracts them?

[Ellis Dee]

Dammit, I forgot my point. So the manly man gets home and showers, and is reasonably (though not extremely...he can't be bothered to wash very conscientiously) clean. But he is HAIRY. You can't really see the skin of his arms through the thick hair. Nor his chest. Speaking of chest, his chest hair actually brushes his neck. And he sheds worse than a dog.

There you go, now that's a choice. hehheh.

[Telperien]

I've always found it amusing all the women on the SDMB who claim to be attracted to nerds and geeks. Hundreds of them. And yet the nerds and geeks all have so much trouble getting women.

Is it that the nerds and the geeks have somehow magically all been born in different cities from where the women who love them were born? Or are people maybe not wholly realistic about what actually attracts them?

I can't speak for anyone but myself, but there is a shortage of nerds and geeks where I am. It took me a little while to figure out that I liked them, but I really do like nerds and geeks. Just have to go looking for them.

Maybe I can sneak into the computer science society's meetings.

Anyway, there are a lot more nerds and geeks than there are women who actively seek them, I think. Maybe the numbers are off. The situation in my locale is opposite to what I believe to be the usual one.

Harimad-sol, will travel for geek boys

[Miller]

I disagree with the definition of a "manly man" having poor hygiene. A "real" man takes care of his tools, and his body is the most important tool he owns. Of course, a "real" man isn't afraid to use his tools, so he's often doing stuff that leads to him being filthy. But when he's done, he showers, shaves his five o'clock stubble, and puts on a clean flannel shirt.

It's like Brawny paper towels. The guy on the package is a manly man. He's not just manly, he's like a lumberjack, or something. But is he a slob? Hell no! He's got a whole line of paper towels named after him! He's manly, sure, but that doesn't mean he lives in squalor.

[TheLoadedDog]

I shower and clean my fingernails. At least once a month!

I guess I'm the "manly" type. The five food groups are beer, meat, meat, bear, and meat. I do shower because if I don't then I will offend myself long before I offend anybody else. In the hot weather, I shower two or three times a day ( I do physical work too).

But before the Doper ladies start beating my door down :D, I must confess I'm not a handyman's left bollock. I can change a tyre, change the oil etc, but as far as doing something like putting up shelves in the kitchen, fuggedit. I don't know a phillips hammer from a claw screwdriver.

[Catfood Purrito]

I've always found it amusing all the women on the SDMB who claim to be attracted to nerds and geeks. Hundreds of them. And yet the nerds and geeks all have so much trouble getting women.

Is it that the nerds and the geeks have somehow magically all been born in different cities from where the women who love them were born? Or are people maybe not wholly realistic about what actually attracts them?

I don't know about that. I'm one of those women who is attracted to geeks. I'm very much in love with my geeky boyfriend. Two good friends of mine are very much in love with their geeky husbands. So, we geek-loving women really do exist.

[amarinth]

Is it that the nerds and the geeks have somehow magically all been born in different cities from where the women who love them were born? Or are people maybe not wholly realistic about what actually attracts them?In my experience, there are a great many nerds & geeks who are very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very shy so they hae trouble meeting women. And also there are a great many nerds and geeks who are only interested in supermodel types and don't even notice women who aren't physically perfect or nearly so, so they have trouble meeting those women. (And quite a few who fit into both categories, who really have trouble).

[Miller]

I guess I'm the "manly" type. The five food groups are beer, meat, meat, bear, and meat.

You are manly!

[Aeschines]

I know the OP is all in good fun, but I know very few guys who fit easily into one category or another.

[I Love Me, Vol. I]

I've always found it amusing all the women on the SDMB who claim to be attracted to nerds and geeks. Hundreds of them. And yet the nerds and geeks all have so much trouble getting women.

Is it that the nerds and the geeks have somehow magically all been born in different cities from where the women who love them were born? Or are people maybe not wholly realistic about what actually attracts them?I think what some women think of as "nerds/geeks" might be a little different from the reality. I see this all the time in San Francisco. Most of the gals around me don't really want either of the two types mention in the OP. What they DO want they call nerds and geeks but they are actually the ragged-haired tall and slim Atari shirt-wearing dudes. These guys are actually posing hipsters and the chicks dig that--- yet a few of them may almost fit into the geek category because they were lured out here in the dot-com craze.

As for the REAL geeks/nerds here.... I don't see ANY of them getting much attention unless they are filthy rich. I think some women want to believe they love the underdog, but what they THINK is the underdog is actually a guy who cultivates that look. He spends a lot of time and money to look "just so" and he was probably pretty good-looking and socially adept to begin with.

FYI-- I am not really a geek/nerd type so I'm not just being bitter. Just calling it like I see it from where I stand. (I'm something else entirely --more of a occasional semi-he-man--without the bulging uber-muscles but kinda handy , but also an occasionally all-scrubbed-up-and-proper-for-the-opera, but also kinda geeky about the specific technical details called for in my music/film/video/tv/photography work and play; and sometimes into sitting around discussing pseudo-highbrow shit while I let other people do the dirty work).

[DougC]

- - - One man's opinions: most women are amazingly enthusiastic about being chummy with "metrosexual" guys, {which are really "faggy" or "prissy" guys}--but as I have seen it--most women are far more likely to actually get involved with a manly-man.

I know the OP is all in good fun, but I know very few guys who fit easily into one category or another. - Aeschines
....Well okay, I'll bite(!): some "faggy" clues on a guy would be-
1) hair gel, hair spray or any other "fashion" treatment (perms, coloring, bleaching)
2) friendship/string bracelets/most other decorative jewelry
3) earrings
- These are things which used to be basically totally the province of women, yet in some circles have become acceptable for men.
-------------
- On the flipside, tattoos are moving the other direction--they started out almost-totally a male preoccupation but by some US studies significantly more young women now are getting tattoos than men.
~

[I Love Me, Vol. I]

earrings[/i]
- These are things which used to be basically totally the province of women, yet in some circles have become acceptable for men. I gotta tell you dude... hair gel, bracelets or earrings or necklaces are all worn by just about all kinds of dudes now-- manly-man, metrosexual, nerd/geek, whatever. I don't know where the fuck you're from, but try to get out of the Feed Store every now and again.

[wolfman]

-but as I have seen it--most women are far more likely to actually get involved with a manly-man.

Are you talking about a "manly-man" or a jock. Because I really am a manly-man by most definitions are girls sure as hell arn't interested in my type. I love fixing cars and building shit. I get invited to most moving events because I can carry a lot of shit. Offer me a week at the fanciest zillion-dollar-a-night spa or camping without a shower or supplied food for a week, and I'll grab my rod and head for the hills. I can grow a beard during a football game, and the most expensive piece of clothes I have ever bought was 19 bucks. Now I do vary from the manly-man control case in that I can cook a damn fine meal and I know computers real well. But in general terms I am a manly man, and girls don't want us, girls want the jock who fakes manly-man ness by buying rock-climbing gear and learns how to talk about using it.

p.S. And for those intesested, I have helped butcher, cooked, and eaten a bear, and damn is that nasty ass sagey stringey meat ,

[AngelicGemma]

I'd want a metro man. I find them sexier and enjoy being around them more.

[Alessan]

Let's complicate this.

Taking two extreme examples from the world of cinema, both highly intelligent, educated, articulate and physically capable guys:

Indiana Jones is a manly man.

James Bond is a metrosexual.

Ladies - which do you prefer?

[Rune]

I once saw a survey that showed women preferred manly men during ovulation and more feminine looking (metrosexual) men the rest of the cycle. Presumably because manly men had the best genes, while metrosexual excelled at child-raising – no idea where geeks fit in (probably they sneaked by while mother evolution was looking the other way).

[Primaflora]

Oh my!

Can I have both please?

[Fuji Kitakyusho]

Geek factor: I am a mechanical engineer. 'nuff said.

Manly man factor: My hobbies include scuba diving (deep, mixed gas shipwreck penetrations), skydiving, winter mountaineering, rock and ice climbing, and sail racing. Before my geek career, I was heavily involved in search and rescue (ex-coast guard), and to this day keep involved in search and recovery, including swiftwater rescue, swiftwater diving, and so forth. While I don't often do my own vehicle maintenance, I certainly know how the damned thing works, and can troubleshoot a problem if need be. I would put my outdoorsmanship skills up there with the best of them, but I'll still take the five star hotel over roughing it whenever it's not strictly necessary. I'm pretty hairy, except for my head where my hairline is receeding. I'm 28.

metro factor: I shower and brush my teeth every day, and on special occasions, I will use a clipper to trim my nails instead of chewing them off.

So, ladies... where am I going wrong? My last date was in 2001.

-FK

[Rune]

So, ladies... where am I going wrong? My last date was in 2001.It’s the flippers man! Don’t wear to them to the restaurant on the first date. Just don’t.

[CandidGamera]

Hey, it looks like the Geeks are in-style! Woo! My time has come at last.

[bouv]

Let's complicate this.

Taking two extreme examples from the world of cinema, both highly intelligent, educated, articulate and physically capable guys:

Indiana Jones is a manly man.

James Bond is a metrosexual.

Ladies - which do you prefer?

James Bond, a metrosexual? Uh....no. A metrosexual would never fire a gun, or any of that other death-defying stuff James Bond does. A better cinema example of a metrosexual would be every Richard Gere character.

[Alessan]

James Bond, a metrosexual? Uh....no. A metrosexual would never fire a gun, or any of that other death-defying stuff James Bond does. A better cinema example of a metrosexual would be every Richard Gere character.

James Bond is always impeccibly dressed, well groomed, elegant, courteous and polished. He knows wine and is very specific about his cocktails. I'm pretty sure he uses moisturizers and has regular manicures. He's also an excellent dancer. The fact that he also kills people for a living doesn't make him any less of a metrosexual, just like the fact that Indy has a PhD. doesn't make him any less of a manly man.

[DougC]

I gotta tell you dude... hair gel, bracelets or earrings or necklaces are all worn by just about all kinds of dudes now-- manly-man, metrosexual, nerd/geek, whatever. I don't know where the fuck you're from, but try to get out of the Feed Store every now and again.... - I Love Me, Vol. 1
- - - [i]I am from "the land before MTV"... 50 years ago typical straight men did not engage in these things to any great degree. The popularity of these things among men was introduced by gay fashion. So maybe you should explain--why would straight men want to look like gay men?
~

[Dung Beetle]

I was on the fence until I got to this. will not watch your barbaric favourite football team pound your heated rivals into the ground. Besides, after the flames of passion die down, and you have to decide which of these would make the better "roommate".....definitely the metrosexual.

[Fuji Kitakyusho]

- - - [i]I am from "the land before MTV"... 50 years ago typical straight men did not engage in these things to any great degree. The popularity of these things among men was introduced by gay fashion. So maybe you should explain--why would straight men want to look like gay men?
~

An interesting comment. Some of the guys I hang around with, when preparing to go out to a night club for an evening by dressing well and using hair products, scents, etc. refer to the practice as getting "gayed up".

[F. U. Shakespeare]

It's definitely an overstatement that hair spray and gel equals 'looking gayed up'. I'm straight as an arrow -- I dress in t-shirts and jeans and wouldn't wear an earring if you paid me, but I use hair spray.

[Alessan]

Since when is hair gel a sign of sophistication? The guys I know who wear the most crap in their hair are the type who think that elegant means rolling expensive cigarettes into the sleeve of their tight black T-shirt. Where do you think the term "greaser" comes from?

[Ghanima]

I'll take the metrosexual, please. The "manly man" thing just doesn't matter that much to me. Cleanliness and style go waaaay further. Also, smart guys are more likely to be metrosexual. In fact, it has very little to do with the outside. Its that I think a metrosexual guy would make a better person to live with. I think he would be more likely to notice details about me if he notices details about himself. If he has good taste in clothes, maybe he has good taste in other things too. And if he works indoors or on a computer all day, then I won't have to worry about him getting killed while clearing the hay from under the tractor or killed by cutting a tree down on himself. He'd be around to provide. Yeah, I 'm gonna go with saying that ultimately the metrosexual is the better man from the evolutionary viewpoint of a reproducing female. :p

[badmana]

By default I wear no jewelry, hair gel or special clothing. My normal attire is a large t-shirt (I size into a small/medium) and jeans.


With the introduction of my GF I find myself using hair gel and scents. She'll put lip balm (on me) and mosturizers.

I think my GF wants a metrosexual man.

On the other hand she likes it when I "take control" in a manly fashion. She gets turned on if I give her the "cave man" treatment (grab her, kiss her with passion/force).

I think women really want the middle ground. I'm also a "geek" type in that I can discuss computers and technology for hours. I LAN party every chance I get and spend serious money on computer hardware.

[Draelin]

That being said, I will always choose option C as presented by Scribble. Give me a sweet, geeky guy any day of the week. That's where the good stuff is, baby!

Another vote for option C. I understand it's not actually an option, but both of the men presented in the OP are turn-offs for me. I like a man who can fix my car and hold an intelligent conversation. Romantic enough to bring me flowers, but also understands that sometimes things do not need to be slow and gentle. ;)

[chula]

I gotta tell you dude... hair gel, bracelets or earrings or necklaces are all worn by just about all kinds of dudes now-- manly-man, metrosexual, nerd/geek, whatever. I don't know where the fuck you're from, but try to get out of the Feed Store every now and again.A bit harsh for IMHO, but that last line cracked me up.

[amarinth]

Indiana Jones is a manly man.

James Bond is a metrosexual.

Ladies - which do you prefer?
Yes.

As I said in an earlier post, somewhere in the middle (which they are) is infintely preferable to the extremes in the OP.

[Indygrrl]

I'd pick manly over metro, but I guess I like a mixture of both. My man is clean, but rough around the edges, hairy, doesn't get manicures, can talk about a variety of topics, has musical talent, and isn't closed off to the arts. And he isn't obsessed with sports.

Yep, I'm lucky, I've got that perfect guy. :D

[SolGrundy]

It's like Brawny paper towels. The guy on the package is a manly man. He's not just manly, he's like a lumberjack, or something. But is he a slob? Hell no! He's got a whole line of paper towels named after him! He's manly, sure, but that doesn't mean he lives in squalor.
Pssst... Miller? Um, the Brawny guy? Total homo.

[CrazyCatLady]

Hmm, if I had to choose between the extremes listed in the OP, I think I'd have to go find myself a nice lesbian. She could fix my car and help me build shelves, but her flannel shirts would always be clean and she wouldn't make me feel like a big slob for not being all frou-frou. The sex would be an issue, but I guess I could get used to girly parts easier than b.o. or prissiness.

[Loopydude]

I asked my wife:

The showering thing would be the dealbreaker, and she just dismisses the whole hygene issue completely since it's so unrealistic as to be trivial in real-world scenerios.

Take a manly-man with minimally acceptable grooming vs. typical metrosexual, and it's manly-man all the way. Guys who care more about fashion and skin-care products than she does make her skin crawl; and this is coming from a lady who cut her professional teeth in musical theater. She loves her queeny and metro friends dearly as friends, but the idea of hopping in the sack with them provokes the gag reflex. She thinks Tom Menino (mayor of Boston) is kind of sexy. She adores John Goodman. The scene in "Moonstruck" where Nick Cage overturns the table, bellows "Son of a BITCH!", and lustfully lugs Cher off to the bedroom gets her sorta hot. Ed Harris? "RddddrrrrrOWWW!"

"Mmm, oh-kay, so what in the hell are you doing with me then?" I ask.

"Oh, I turned over that rock, saw you there, and my heart just went out to you, poor thing! C'mere..."

[Anne Neville]

In my experience, there are a great many nerds & geeks who are very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very shy so they hae trouble meeting women.

And at least some of the women who are attracted to geeks are also shy. It can be very hard for two extremely shy people to meet up. There's no easy answer, because one of the things we like about geeks (or at least that I like about geeks) is that they're not constantly throwing themselves in our faces or chasing after everything in a skirt.

And also there are a great many nerds and geeks who are only interested in supermodel types and don't even notice women who aren't physically perfect or nearly so, so they have trouble meeting those women.

Too true. Some of them are scared by girl geeks, too, who are at least part of the female population that is interested in geeks.

Back on topic of the thread, I'll take the geek guy any day. Who else would tolerate my computer gaming habit?

[UrbanChic]

Pssst... Miller? Um, the Brawny guy? Total homo.Yeah. Haven't you seen the lastest batch of commercials for Brawny? To whom do you think that dude doing the voice-over is appealing? Not to chicks, I tells ya!

[Elysian]

I'm married to a EE, so definitely the geeky guy.

Thinking about kissing a metrosexual makes me want to gag. Any man who curls their hair and puts hair products in would never appeal to me. James Bond is not at all appealing. Yuck.

Manly guys who don't shower do not appeal to me at all. If it's a manly guy who showers, then yes. Indiana Jones is very spiffy dressed up.

But I would still choose the geeky guy over them. He may not want to fix the car, but he has the brains to learn, and he also can learn to moisturize if needed.

[bouv]

Hmm, if I had to choose between the extremes listed in the OP, I think I'd have to go find myself a nice lesbian. She could fix my car and help me build shelves, but her flannel shirts would always be clean and she wouldn't make me feel like a big slob for not being all frou-frou. The sex would be an issue, but I guess I could get used to girly parts easier than b.o. or prissiness.

Well that's all fine and good if you get yourself a dyke, but what if you're stuck with a 'lipstick' lesbian? That's like a metrosexual, but without that handy penis!

[Salem]

I definitely lean towards the manly man side. It's safer to get a "metrosexual" fix from your friends than to fill the role of hot, hunky, burly armed, lusty sex outside of your relationship. Truth be told, I'm not into all of the primping sort of activities, but have missed the finer intellectual traits that can be lacking in the manly man. Never have found one that can play both roles.

[levdrakon]

Truth be told, I'm not into all of the primping sort of activities, but have missed the finer intellectual traits that can be lacking in the manly man. Never have found one that can play both roles.

I believe many people in this thread are mistakingly referring to that man as "geek."

[Green Cymbeline]

I'd take a A MANLY MAN, definetly, over a metrosexual (puke) any day! ;)

[CrazyCatLady]

Well that's all fine and good if you get yourself a dyke, but what if you're stuck with a 'lipstick' lesbian? That's like a metrosexual, but without that handy penis!

Hey, if we're going extremist stereotypes, all the lesbians are dykes. But if we're choosing between manly man, metrosexual, butch, and femme, I gotta go with the butch.

[CanvasShoes]

Wait a minute. Why is a "manly" man dirty and stupid? What kind of definition is that? Even in movie fantasies, what kind of hero can be described like that? John Wayne? Kirk Douglas? Sean Connery? Russell Crowe? What makes you think a working man doesn't wash, read or think?
I agree, I don't like the stereotyping here.

[t-keela]

Well guys...what'll it be? A squeaky clean prudish bitch that only fucks once in a blue moon (and would rather not) or a skanky ass slut that smells like rotten fish who fucks everything in her sight.

C'mon now it's just for fun.

Yeah but it's insulting to the guys who work hard for a living and do sweat and get dirty. I've done it for years. Me with a damned Master's degree and once a teacher. I was raised on a farm/ranch and worked hard all of my life. The past few years I've been in construction because it paid better than teaching.
I came home everyday and the first thing I did was to take a shower and change clothes then I'd hug/kiss my wife and children.
I used to hunt and fish everyday...not only watched sports but was active in sports. I can fix a car or build a fence and once broke horses for a living. We can go out for dinner, me in a suit and tie or I'll cook something for you. I did for my wife and kids every evening when I got home.
You wanna talk about the garden, our future or philosophy... that's fine too. I swept my wife off her feet and I'm what most folks would call very manly. I'm sometimes wrong but will admit to it and say I'm sorry. I will bring you flowers just because I was thinking about you.
AND I will kick any SOB's ass that tries to hurt you. If there's anything you want or need all you have to do is let me know. You don't even have to ask, just let me know.
Hairy? I've got a beard and moustache...but I'm not some kind of Neanderthal. Do I stink? Sometimes but usually not for very long. I have been known to come home at lunch to get a shower. If I'm lucky my woman will be home for a little rough and tumble. :)

Prudish or skanky? If that's all I have to choose from?
Then it'd be NEITHER. I'd rather have a real woman. Not some stereotype.

Okay, y'all can go back to your poll.

[Telperien]

I thought the whole point of the poll was that it was purely hypothetical, since one could probably search the world and not find anyone who conformed exactly to the stereotypes, since they're stereotypes.

Perhaps I was wrong.

[Mockingbird]

- - - One man's opinions: most women are amazingly enthusiastic about being chummy with "metrosexual" guys, {which are really "faggy" or "prissy" guys}--but as I have seen it--most women are far more likely to actually get involved with a manly-man.


....Well okay, I'll bite(!): some "faggy" clues on a guy would be-
1) hair gel, hair spray or any other "fashion" treatment (perms, coloring, bleaching)
2) friendship/string bracelets/most other decorative jewelry
3) earrings
- These are things which used to be basically totally the province of women, yet in some circles have become acceptable for men.
-------------
- On the flipside, tattoos are moving the other direction--they started out almost-totally a male preoccupation but by some US studies significantly more young women now are getting tattoos than men.
~

Gee. I have five tattooes, my ears pieced, and a tongue piercing...

Oh... and I doubt that I'd ever be mistaken for a metrosexual... I own and know how to use powertools and can strip a computer in minutes.

Just as the stereotypes of gay men are quite narrow, I don't think metrosexuals are as effete as they're being portrayed in this thread.

[Rune]

Well guys...what'll it be? A squeaky clean prudish bitch that only fucks once in a blue moon (and would rather not) or a skanky ass slut that smells like rotten fish who fucks everything in her sight.Well that one’s easy. The madonna for wife, the whore for lover. umm... :eek:

[t-keela]

Harimad-sol
It doesn't make it less insulting though.
You know how insulting it is to even imply that... all black people are (fill in the blank)
or how about all Arabs are..what?
Hmm, how about all gays are...

I have tried all of my life to fight the ignorance that "innocent" stereoptypes encourage, despite being raised amongst them. There was a thread awhile back saying the French were basically, a bunch of cowards. It was said in jest but had bad timing. Perhaps it would be better to let these things go by unchallenged. I'm not going to go on a rant regarding the OP.

I know it is a hypothetical example. It is also IMHO. I just wanted to say my peace, lest anyone truly ignorant should read this thread and believe the stereotype. There are a lot of people who lurk on these boards. I have actually known some guys that come close to this description. I don't recall any women being present however. :D

Okay, Harimad-sol don't sweat it...real manly men don't read, correct?

Rune I think that's kinda what the ladies are saying regarding the OP. Some even would rather be alone than deal with the choices given. I think a good woman could actually clean the Neanderthal up and maybe teach him some manners. The other guy will never grow any balls however. Sorry folks but that's just the way I see it. ;)

[t-keela]

Mockingbird Why you old pirate...tats and rings? You don't ever wear a scarf or boots do ya?

[Mockingbird]

Mockingbird Why you old pirate...tats and rings? You don't ever wear a scarf or boots do ya?

I wear nothing at all, which my guy seems to like. Go fig.

[Telperien]

No problem, t-keela. I agree with you.

Cleaning up the Neanderthal guy is not such a bad idea, though it may be a major project. Where's that scrub brush?

[t-keela]

I wear nothing at all, which my guy seems to like. Go fig.
I've got some leather chaps and vest I'll loan ya just for something different. I'll keep the spurs and whip though. ;)

Harimad-sol scrub brush? How 'bout an automatic car wash for starts. :D

[calm kiwi]

I married a manly-man stinky (hairy) bloke. If left to himself he would have showered once a week. He was Scottish and claimed it was traditional :D.

Never underestimate how easy it is to bribe the manly-man. He showered at least 5 days a week. :D

[Telperien]

Ah, but the hand-held scrub brush is ever so much more personal!

Car wash idea duly noted, however.

[Rune]

I think a good woman could actually clean the Neanderthal up and maybe teach him some manners. The other guy will never grow any balls however. Sorry folks but that's just the way I see it. ;)Oh boy. Give me a dime for all the times I’ve heard of a woman who married a good looking guy with a highly undesirable character because she figured she could change him – and failed miserable, and I’ll buy me a yacht and cruise the Mediterranean for a few years.

[t-keela]

I married a manly-man stinky (hairy) bloke. If left to himself he would have showered once a week. He was Scottish and claimed it was traditional :D.

Never underestimate how easy it is to bribe the manly-man. He showered at least 5 days a week. :D


Rune see kiwi's post...she knows what I'm talkin aboot. ;)
We're not changin' the man. Just cleanin him up. There was a movie once upon a time wit James Stewart and Bryan Keith...this thread kinda reminds me of that movie.

[Mockingbird]

I've got some leather chaps and vest I'll loan ya just for something different. I'll keep the spurs and whip though. ;)

Harimad-sol scrub brush? How 'bout an automatic car wash for starts. :D

I don't do spurs and my riding crop is more than satisfactory, but thanks for the offer.

[calm kiwi]

Oh boy. Give me a dime for all the times I’ve heard of a woman who married a good looking guy with a highly undesirable character because she figured she could change him – and failed miserable, and I’ll buy me a yacht and cruise the Mediterranean for a few years.


Hey I never said changed him! If I Icould have changed him he would still be alive. I just made him wash more often. We still had some very good unstinky years together.

[a35362]

I don't think of James Bond as "metrosexual," even if the character was always written (in the books) as a sybarite. (I think he was more narcisssistic in the movies.) A good example of a metrosexual would be the character Nigel Havers played in "Manchild," a British TV comedy that showed on BBC America: a fiftysomething divorced man who's always looking to make his next score. He's always after the ladies, but he spends a lot of time and effort on his clothes and general appearance. I think we used to just call his kind a "peacock," right?

[Lissla Lissar]

originally posted by RickJay
I've always found it amusing all the women on the SDMB who claim to be attracted to nerds and geeks. Hundreds of them. And yet the nerds and geeks all have so much trouble getting women.

I married one. A geek of a very specific type, though. For most of my life, my male friends and boyfriends have all been video game obsessed, d&d playing, Tolkien-loving guys with swords. Most of them do martial arts, and can easily revamp their computers on their own. That is (I think, through evidence) my favourite type.

I am not attracted to the very far geek/nerd end of the spectrum who are extremely overweight, never leave their bedrooms, don't shower, and speak of everything in terms of role-playing statistics. I've met a fair number of them (and a couple who epitomised that personal stereotype) and I really don't like them. Some social skills required, please.

[Padeye]

James Bond a metrosexual? Mr. Bond does not squeal with delight at the prospect of going to the mall to look at shoes. Granted that isn't the only criteria but we have a starting point. Five different actors have played 007 in the movies not counting the spoofs so you really need to be more specific.

George Lazenby - He's a male model. I won't even argue in his defense.
Roger Moore - I'll defend him but not enthusiastically. I found his portrayl to be, well, prissy. The flared pant legs, huge lapels and '70s coif made my skin crawl.
Pierce Brosnan - An excellent combination of testosterone and sophistication. It's manly to look good in a tux if it doesn't look like it was an effort to do so.
Timothy Dalton - His attitude kept him from being a metrosexual. I thought he was a very underrated Bond but it was bad timing.
Sean Connery - I must kill you now. Nothing personal but we're talking about Mr. Scotland. Yeah, I know, The Avengers had the "suck" knob turned to eleven but he defined the sophisticated manly man for an entire generation in Goldfinger.

[Alessan]

I wasn't saying Bond (to keep things simple, let's say Brosnan) was a typical metrosexual. Look, if you take the manly-man scale and put Indiana Jones at one end, as the very best possible, on the other end you'll have to put Homer Simpson. Likewise, on the metrosexual scale, you'll put every example you guys brought up on one end and Bond - or Cary Grant - on the other.

Does Bond squeal with delight at buying shoes? No, because he has dignity - a quality both metrosexuals and manly-men can have. The former sans dignity is a prissy wimp; the latter is a slob. I'm sure, howver, that he doesn't buy shoes off the rack. He probably has a dedicated Italian cobbler who brings over samples of leather so that he can design the most elagent footwear possible; I'm also sure bond spends at least six hours a week on buying and fitting clothing. That's classic metrosexual behaviour.

[fluiddruid]

And also there are a great many nerds and geeks who are only interested in supermodel types and don't even notice women who aren't physically perfect or nearly so, so they have trouble meeting those women.

Yeah, word up to that. Too many nerds grew up admiring all those scantily clad chicks in Dungeons and Dragons manuals -- how can we compete with that?

I love nerdy guys, but every single one I've known had unrealistic physical expectations of women. Not that I'm a huge prize or anything -- they would put down women much more attractive than me.

[mouthbreather]

[QUOTE=Scribble]Who would want some grunting, reeking, beer-filled hulk of testosterone poisoning? [QUOTE]


I see you haven't met my lovely wife.

[Alessan]

Let me elaborate, here:

Manly men play poker; Bond plays Baccarat.

Manly men drink beer or whiskey; Bond drinks wine, sherry or cocktails.

Manly men drive pickup trucks; Bond drives itty-bitty little European sports cars.

Manly men kill people with .45 magnum revolvers; Bond kills people with a Walther PPK .32, a metrosexual firearm if there ever was one.

I rest my case.

[t-keela]

Let me elaborate, here:

Manly men play poker; Bond plays Baccarat.

Manly men drink beer or whiskey; Bond drinks wine, sherry or cocktails.

Manly men drive pickup trucks; Bond drives itty-bitty little European sports cars.

Manly men kill people with .45 magnum revolvers; Bond kills people with a Walther PPK .32, a metrosexual firearm if there ever was one.

I rest my case.

-Let's see.. I used to play poker quite a bit, although I prefer pool.
-I like some beer but after a few I'm ready for some tequila and a good cigar. (Although I was drinkin whiskey last weekend and I've got a half gallon in the fridge.)
-I drive a restored '65 Ford pickup.
-I do have a .45 long colt revolver and have actually had to use it before.
-heh... :D Alessan I guess you've got a little insight huh?

and I do live back in the woods but I don't chew beechnut. ;)

[levdrakon]

Alessan apparently has never seen a Bond movie.

He can play any game, and win.
He drinks martinis.
He drives tanks, flies helicopters, and rides motorcycles.
I can't even list the number of weapons he's proven to be expert at killing with, but as often as not, he kills just as handily with his bare hands.

[Miller]

Pssst... Miller? Um, the Brawny guy? Total homo.

Well, duh. Just look at that moustache! But he's still a manly 'mo.

[Alessan]

Alessan apparently has never seen a Bond movie.

He can play any game, and win.
He drinks martinis.
He drives tanks, flies helicopters, and rides motorcycles.
I can't even list the number of weapons he's proven to be expert at killing with, but as often as not, he kills just as handily with his bare hands.

It's not what he can do, it's what he prefers to do. Can you imagine Bond between missions hanging around his flat in sweat pants, chugging beers and watching ESPN? I can't.

Look, I'm not saying Jimmy B. isn't tough. Nobody can argue the fact that he's one of the top ten toughest motherfuckers in the world. I'm just saying that Bond is tough and metrosexual, that one doesn't preclude the other.

[iamthewalrus(:3=]

Since when is hair gel a sign of sophistication? ...Where do you think the term "greaser" comes from?
The '50s?

[JRDelirious]

Well, if we wish to define "metrosexual" as someone who is essentially Carson Kressley [or, for dopers w/o US cable TV: insert here the name of any popular flamboyantly gay fashionista] only with a preference for doing women, I'll go along of it leads faster to the extinction of this loathsome word. You don't suffix with "-sexual" a behavioral pattern NOT dependent on a person's sexuality. My problem with "metrosexual" is that it somehow tends to imply that stylishness, refinement and sophistication ARE sexuality-related.


Of course, a35362 is correct that a more accurate term for a James Bond Type is a sybarite -- one who appreciates and seeks out The Finer Things and insists on Only the Best in everything from his personal grooming to his flat's furnishings. But the thing is that, like Alessan, points out, the current mass-media standards for calling someone a "metrosexual" would seem to range as far as to include this fictional character, solely on the superficial appearance of his grooming, dress and leisure habits (and for those so inclined, his choice of sidearm). So Bond ends up being a Manly Metrosexual.


I suspect all the "Manly Man" backlash started way back in '81 with Real Men Don't Eat Quiche and got to its climax with The Man Show 20 years later, but sometimes I think people miss that these are satires. Not actual manifestos.

[Zoe]

You are asking if I prefer snake venom or arsenic?

What I really like is a tweedy man who tells funny stories and likes jazz.

[GomiBoy]

I was a mechanic and survival expert in the Air Force, can strip and rebuild a computer including custom writing small software applications, chipped my own car for better performance, play airsoft war games from time to time (usually once a month), ski, backpack, run in adventure races and triathlons, mountain bike, and wear grubby clothes on the weekend (and sometimes during the week unless I am meeting a customer).

I am big and hairy, stink from time to time (but seldom for very long), have no problem (or at least didn't before I moved to England) in camping out and elk hunting for a week with no facilities nearby, like to fish, work out on a regular basis, drink beer and eat ice cream, and like steak and potatoes.

I also get my back, crack and sack waxed on a regular basis, shave at least every other day (although the lil' lady likes a bit of stubble), spend over $50 on each haircut, have designer clothes and suits in my wardrobe, and drive a fancy european sportscar. I love sushi and fancy restaraunts, and often like to go shopping with my girlfriend for both clothes and home furnishings.

Where do I fit in on the spectrum between metrosexual and manly man? Just curious, really...

[Mariemarie]

If I can't have my super-genius ubergeek, I'll take a sweaty, smelly, scratchy, stubbled, muscle-bound hunk-a hunk-a burning love. Yeah, baby!

[CandidGamera]

Yeah, word up to that. Too many nerds grew up admiring all those scantily clad chicks in Dungeons and Dragons manuals -- how can we compete with that?

I love nerdy guys, but every single one I've known had unrealistic physical expectations of women. Not that I'm a huge prize or anything -- they would put down women much more attractive than me.

Hmm.. I'm not certain this is true. Certainly the fantasy-art stuff has skewed our perceptions, but if you can fill out a chain-mail bikini, I think you're still going to do allright. :D

[Draelin]

Hmm.. I'm not certain this is true. Certainly the fantasy-art stuff has skewed our perceptions, but if you can fill out a chain-mail bikini, I think you're still going to do allright. :D

Perfect example right there. There are women everywhere with the Geek Preference, yet it's so hard to get your hands on Leia's gold bikini in anything over a size six. :)

[CandidGamera]

Perfect example right there. There are women everywhere with the Geek Preference, yet it's so hard to get your hands on Leia's gold bikini in anything over a size six. :)

Hmmm. A little quick chain-link extension should take care of most of the problem. Or you could build-your-own. It's the lascivious-yet-geeky thought that counts, is what I'm trying to say. ;)

[Draelin]

I can't even begin to tell you how much chainmail chafes. ;) Give me a Wonder Woman costume any day.

[CandidGamera]

I can't even begin to tell you how much chainmail chafes. ;) Give me a Wonder Woman costume any day.

Let it never be said that we geeks are uncompromising. It's a deal! ;)

[Padeye]

Let me elaborate, here:
...Bond plays Baccarat.
...Bond drinks wine, sherry or cocktails.
..Bond drives itty-bitty little European sports cars.
..Bond kills people with a Walther PPK .32, a metrosexual firearm if there ever was one.Way to crush everthing I ever believed in to dust Alessan. :smack:

I still hold that Baccarat is cool as are proper martinis as long as they don't have vanilla or snozzberry vodka or some other kind of goddamn fruited up flavor. I like my pickup truck and hot little sports cars so that is a wash.

Bond was ordered to replace his Beretta .25 with the .32 which hits "like a brick through a plate glass window," and in one of the movies a villan refers to it as "a lady's purse gun."

Felix Leighter hobbling on his shark-bitten-off leg with a fucking rubber crutch, doesn't MI6 (I can never remember if that is a freeway or the secret service) know how to equip a 00 agent? What kind of pussy carries a goddamn .32? I wouldn't give one to my wife. Hell, I wouldn't consider it reliable to kill goddamn post eating hamsters. I blame it on Fleming who consistently proved he didn't know shit about guns.

Bond at least carries a grownup's gun now, a Walther P99, even if it is 9mm Parabellum. They make a .45 ACP version and I've had my eye on one for my own use but Bond would have to accept that it has a S&W logo on it.

Padeye - who carries every kind of .45 from a Sig to a Walker, likes kentucky bourbon, pick-em-up trucks with V-8 engines and doesn't even know how to pronounce quiche but does shower regularly.