I pit semen trees and all involved parties.

[stately plump buck mulligan]

I'll make this relatively short: there are trees on my university campus that smell like semen. Strongly of semen. They smell like giving oral satisfaction to at least fifty men at once, which is about forty-seven and a half more than my personal upper limit.

No, I'm not imagining things, and as much as I know you'll all want to throw out terms like "Freudian sniff" or whatever, I swear I have heard from at least a half-dozen other parties who have verified that the trees smell like boy batter. Each of these testimonies came from independent experience, reflection, and conclusion. There is a firm consensus amongst able-nosed students of varying age, gender and sexual identity that these trees smell of spunk.


I pit the trees.

I pit Nature or the Creator or Evolution or whatever can take original blame for the existence of such trees.

I pit whoever decided to plant a cluster of them right along the path between two of my classes.

And, depending on their demeanor, I either pit or pity the soul who is made to tend to these trees and keep them alive and prosperous and smelling of, well, you know.

[devilsknew]

An orchard fecund.

Seed arboreal.

[Bleaker]

Oh yes, our good old friend the sperm tree (http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_363.html). Apparently its true identity is a mystery.

[Blalron]

The Master Speaks (http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_363.html)

[Starving Artist]

And your point is?

Do you have a problem with semen in general, or just in quantity? If so, why? Or, do you not have a problem with it (as I would surmise from your odd but still multiple limit) but you just don't like to smell it out of context? Just what about it is bothering you?

[kimera]

The trees here smell like vagina.

[stately plump buck mulligan]

Holy sh. Already one esoteric reply, two links to helpful semen tree resources (flogging self for not seeking the word of Cecil first - really now!!), and one post questioning my point.


Starving Artist, like I said, they smell like at least fifty guy crotches, probably more, at any rate way more crotches than I'm used to. And like you said, context context context. In more appropriate circumstances I have no problem with the smell; however, take all the fun bits away and multiply the scent many times over and it's just kind of rank, not to mention a hella jarring thing to be exposed to just after Stats.

ava, I've seen trees with vaginas but never with accompanying scent. Is it good vagina or bad vagina?

[Smeghead]

*Zips up and strolls off, whistling innocently*

[FinnAgain]

Is it good vagina or bad vagina?

There's such a thing as bad vagina?
(Bad vagina! No! Sit! Stay!)

By the way, you could always take up smoking, lose that pesky sense of smell.

People always tell me that if I quit smoking I'll get my sense of smell back. Ya know what? I live in New York City. I don't want my sense of smell back. ~sniff sniff~ Say, honey, is that urine? It is! Look, it's a dead guy, covered in pee! Oh man, I never would've found this if I hadn't quit smoking!

[TonyF]

We have those on my university campus, too. Luckily they're removed from the buildings, but it's still terrible to encounter them.

No one believed me about these "cum trees" of mine. And then came Spring, and all in the dorms knew of their devastating power. Add to that the stench of the nearby dairy farms and you had an olfactory experience like none other.

Oddly, the day I discovered the cum trees was the same day I noticed cows had discovered oral sex. No joke. It was a bike ride to remember.

[kimera]

ava, I've seen trees with vaginas but never with accompanying scent. Is it good vagina or bad vagina?

Well, it's what my vagina smells like, so I hope its good. The trees haven't smelled like that for a while or I would cut off some branches and send them to people for smellings. Where do you live?

[DanBlather]

The trees here smell like vagina.Pussy Willows

[danceswithcats]

Well, it's what my vagina smells like, so I hope its good. The trees haven't smelled like that for a while or I would cut off some branches and send them to people for smellings. Where do you live?

Cite! Until you've been sniffed by a cross-section of dopers, that's not able to be considered proven.

[Waverly]

There's such a thing as bad vagina? As with all things generally considered good, there exists a vile mockery which assaults the senses. All of them.

[astro]

There are number of botanical candidates that will fill up your nostrils to overflowing with the distinctive odor of hot, fresh sperm.

Here are some (http://stairs.happenchance.com/archives/000218.html)

Today was an important day. Today, we discovered that there is a sperm tree growing outside our institute. This, you must realise, is a harrowing discovery, even for me, a raging poof, who according to stereotypes, is constantly wanting for sperm.

So what exactly is a sperm tree? Well, the terrible reality is that most of us just don't know. A quick search online, once you wade through the inevitable smut and low quality porno, will reveal that a number of trees fall into this category. That is, their fruits, or leaves, or flowers, by all accounts, and there's no nancying around here with with "almosts" and "just abouts" - these lovely bits of tree smell like Gism.

Now the position of king sperm tree is hotly contested, some say the Carob, Ceratonia siliqua, some say the tree of heaven, Ailanthus altissima, and indeed, these trees do smell like the end of the Universe, but none is quite so wretch worthy as the Chinese chestnut, Castanea molissima, whose inflorescences, to quote a particular botanical website, "produce a pungent, displeasing odor, like that of human semen."

Displeasing? Displeasing? Try eating your lunch downwind of one; displeasing is an understatement. Of course, it's bloody hilarious too - try dragging a supposedly innocent mind into line of smell and ask them to place the odour; they usually change colour... aha! Not so innocent after all.

I once discovered a sperm, or more accurately, semen orchid at a botanic garden; I dragged my mother over, asked her to take a sniff. She did so, paused, looked at me and said "Hem, yes..." Precious

[lieu]

[Euell Gibbons]

Many parts of the semen tree are edible.

[/Euell Gibbons]

[Ghanima]

We had a giant avocado tree outside of my house in college and it was affectionately called "The Cum Tree" by many people because it smelled exactly like cum when it was in bloom. Sometimes a guy would come over and get a funny look on his face and say "Do you smell that...?" and would always look so relieved when it was confirmed that the tree indeed smelled like some guy's cum. When working as an arborist years later I found that many trees actually smell like that when in full bloom.

[akennett]

We have those on my university campus, too. Luckily they're removed from the buildings, but it's still terrible to encounter them.

The ones on my campus are all located near the engineering buildings, so very few people actually identify the smell. :)

[FilmGeek]

OOh, these are all over downtown Lawrence.

Someone also had the bright idea to plant rows of these alternating with ones that smell like month old tuna casserole that's been left in the sun outside my high school cafeteria.

[NotMrKnowItAll]

Where can I find some of these trees? I would like to engage in a little tactical arboriculture.

[iamthewalrus(:3=]

NotMrKnowItAll, They have them at Scripps College in Claremont, SoCal. But, as I recall, the pungent season is thankfully only a few weeks, so you'd have to get someone there to let you in on the timing.

But it's an awfully long way from Dallas. Perhaps you could come up with an easier way of arriving at a similar olfactory sensation.

[slortar]

And here I was thinking that my crotch smelled like wood. Who would've thunk it'd be the other way around...

[scout1222]

There's a whole block of these Cum Trees over in Pacific Beach. It is affectionately known by my cohorts as "The Tunnel of Love" because the trees line both of the streets.

It cracks me up every time.

[lisacurl]

I'll make this relatively short: there are trees on my university campus that smell like semen. Strongly of semen. They smell like giving oral satisfaction to at least fifty men at once, which is about forty-seven and a half more than my personal upper limit.
Hereabouts, the sperm-smelling trees are ligustrum (Japanese privet) (http://www.lsuagcenter.com/invasive/japaneseprivet.asp).

[FinnAgain]

Ya know... now I can't help but wonder what the selection pressure was which created the 'sperm tree' branch of the ol' evolutionary tree.

Some very... interesting... birds?

[LeeshaJoy]

Well, when you think about it, pollen *is* basically tree jizz...

[FinnAgain]

In local weather news, the tree-jizz count is high. Allergy sufferers are advised to leave the house with condoms on their noses.

[Wikkit]

spbm, you're my new favoritest poster.

[pencilpusher]

Could it be Tree pheromones?

I guess they need something to attract the opposite sex as well.....

Could they possibly be Hooker Eveningprimrose AKA.
Oenothera hookeri? Or maybe the Juniperus occidentalis Hooker :p

[stately plump buck mulligan]

I love you, SDMB, for in the face of my whiny bitchings about semen trees, you provide me with laughter, empathy, warmth, love, and cold hard facts. And some firm lukewarm ones as well. Facts that is.

Thanks everyone.

[NotMrKnowItAll]

...
Oenothera hookeri?

I suspect Oenothera Onanosa.

(Word play off Oenothera Speciosa.)

[Telperien]

In local weather news, the tree-jizz count is high. Allergy sufferers are advised to leave the house with condoms on their noses.

Maybe, just maybe, I won't burst out quoting this when someone mentions their allergies at work tomorrow. :D

[danceswithcats]

Tree-jizz. Now there's a term that will make your next springtime jaunt in the woods mentally equivalent to being the receiver at a bukkake party.

[Tentacle Monster]

Oddly, the day I discovered the cum trees was the same day I noticed cows had discovered oral sex. No joke. It was a bike ride to remember.

That would make one hell of a sig line.

[Sir Dirx]

Well, as bad as these trees sound (I've never encountered any), they can't possibly be worse than ginko trees. In the fall, they drop thousands of squishy berries that smell exactly like dog crap. Back at campus (St. Joseph's Uni., in Philly), we called 'em Shitberries. And some of us had to walk about a quarter-mile past the damn trees, tiptoeing because the sidewalk was caked with the berry remnants, and once you got that stuff on your shoes the smell wouldn't come out for days.

I'll take a sperm tree any day over those horrid ginkos.

[Tamerlane]

Quite a few fungi have a 'spermatic odor' as well. Pretty startling the first time you run across it in the field ( or in my case on a wet wood platform below a leaky water-heater on which was growing a might patch of Peziza domestica/Pyronema domesticum ).

- Tamerlane

[Malodorous]

At UVM, there is a stand of trees that smell like rotting flesh when in bloom. Apparently it's to attract flies to spread pollen. Around late summer the smell carries for quite some distance.

[Eleusis]

Bad Vagina.

Smells great at the time, but 36 hours later when your pubies are still stuck together....

[antechinus]

I love you, SDMB, for in the face of my whiny bitchings about semen trees, you provide me with laughter, empathy, warmth, love, and cold hard facts. And some firm lukewarm ones as well. Facts that is.

Thanks everyone.

Can you please put us out of our misery and have the tree identified. Cecils investigation has proved fruitless.

Perhaps take a photo and post it so a botanist can identify it. If you send me a photo I can have it identified for you.

Please. This is one of the great mysteries.



Ahhh, smell the cuntree air.

[antechinus]

The trees here smell like vagina.
This quote fell off the end of my last post. :smack:

[lorene]

I have never encountered this. I suppose I ought to be grateful. However, there was a period of about 6 weeks this spring/summer, when there was a definite cat pee odor in the foliage around here.
That's no treat, either, lemme tell you. At the time, one of my cats was going through a big 'pee outside the litterbox' phase, so my house smelled like cat pee. Then I would go outside and smell it, too. I really thought I was having olafactory hallucinations until a few other people commented on the cat pee trees.

Oh, nature. How capricious she is!

[NotMrKnowItAll]

I have never encountered this. I suppose I ought to be grateful. However, there was a period of about 6 weeks this spring/summer, when there was a definite cat pee odor in the foliage around here.
That's no treat, either, lemme tell you. At the time, one of my cats was going through a big 'pee outside the litterbox' phase, so my house smelled like cat pee. Then I would go outside and smell it, too. I really thought I was having olafactory hallucinations until a few other people commented on the cat pee trees.

Oh, nature. How capricious she is!

Do you live in an area that has a problem with Crystal Meth labs? Apparently, the cooking process can create a strong cat urine smell.

[lorene]

Do you live in an area that has a problem with Crystal Meth labs? Apparently, the cooking process can create a strong cat urine smell.

Well, now I don't know. I don't think so, but that's not really the type of statistic I looked into before purchasing the house.
Perhaps my cat isn't peeing on the floor after all. Perhaps she is cooking up crystal meth.

[El_Kabong]

Hmmm, the stuff you learn on this board. That smell was a regular autumn feature on Colgate Avenue in my Pennsylvania hometown; given the climate, it would appear Chinese Chestnut was the culprit.

Actually, though, after having read the whole thread, the real unanswered question is, "What makes sperm smell like sperm?"

[Jonathan Chance]

Ya know... now I can't help but wonder what the selection pressure was which created the 'sperm tree' branch of the ol' evolutionary tree.

Some very... interesting... birds?

There was, no kidding, a band called 'The Sperm Birds'. They ripped off Cerebus the Aardvark for an album cover.

[Tamerlane]

I have never encountered this. I suppose I ought to be grateful. However, there was a period of about 6 weeks this spring/summer, when there was a definite cat pee odor in the foliage around here.
That's no treat, either, lemme tell you. At the time, one of my cats was going through a big 'pee outside the litterbox' phase, so my house smelled like cat pee. Then I would go outside and smell it, too. I really thought I was having olafactory hallucinations until a few other people commented on the cat pee trees.

Oh, nature. How capricious she is!

I find sometimes that some Eucalyptus ( specifically, I'm thinking Blue Gum here ) can give off a "stale cat-pee" odor. Other times they smell great. Never have been systematic enough to figure out if it is a seasonal thing.

And it might just be peculiar to myself.

- Tamerlane

[stately plump buck mulligan]

Can you please put us out of our misery and have the tree identified. Cecils investigation has proved fruitless.

Perhaps take a photo and post it so a botanist can identify it. If you send me a photo I can have it identified for you.

Please. This is one of the great mysteries.



Ahhh, smell the cuntree air.

I'll snap a photo if my memory and my senses can get along and be friends with one another, just for one day. Cecil's search actually upturned a great number of possible culprits, I just have nofrigginclue which one is "mine" (bad word. I don't want any responsibility for this shit).





"What makes sperm smell like sperm?"

I don't know, but after typing "sperm smell" into Google I DO know that sperm "smell" their way to eggs. Intermestin.


Oh, wait. here it is. Seems something called "spermine" causes the odor. What it origins and purposes are, however, I'm still clueless.




Do you live in an area that has a problem with Crystal Meth labs? Apparently, the cooking process can create a strong cat urine smell.

Yeesh, tell me about it. I live in an area with a. a ton of Crystal Meth labs and b. a ton of stray cats.

[Jackmannii]

Well, as bad as these trees sound (I've never encountered any), they can't possibly be worse than ginko trees. In the fall, they drop thousands of squishy berries that smell exactly like dog crap.Nonsense, the ginkgo fruits smell like concentrated Eau de Armpit. They are also a favored edible in parts of the Far East. (Don't want stench? Plant male ginkgos).

A nice present for that special someone is a carrion flower plant (Stapelia). The most common species is a succulent that grows well on windowsills and has huge star-shaped flowers that smell like rotting flesh. I knew someone who had theirs visited by flies, and maggots hatched in it.

It's not quite the same message as giving someone a dozen roses, but certainly more memorable.

[Smeghead]

I don't know, but after typing "sperm smell" into Google I DO know that sperm "smell" their way to eggs. Intermestin.


Oh, wait. here it is. Seems something called "spermine" causes the odor. What it origins and purposes are, however, I'm still clueless.


Did you mean "spermidine"? That's a protein found in sperm. We use it at work in restriction enzyme digests for Southern blots, and when you open that little tube, there's a definite spunky whiff. Oh, and we get ours from salmon sperm, so save the jokes... Or at least rewrite them.

[FinnAgain]

Or at least rewrite them.

1. So who has to jack off the fish?
2. Do you have to buy them dinner first?

[Cervaise]

They smell like giving oral satisfaction to at least fifty men at once, which is about forty-seven and a half more than my personal upper limit.So, your gangbang threshold is two guys and... and what?

[Wikkit]

Did you mean "spermidine"? That's a protein found in sperm. We use it at work in restriction enzyme digests for Southern blots, and when you open that little tube, there's a definite spunky whiff. Oh, and we get ours from salmon sperm, so save the jokes... Or at least rewrite them.They're both polyamine compounds; spermidine is C7H19N3, spermine C10H26N4. Both found in "boy batter".

[stately plump buck mulligan]

So, your gangbang threshold is two guys and... and what?

Le sigh -- didn't your mother teach you not to ask such questions of a lady?

[Starving Artist]

I was figuring it was three guys, one of whom couldn't...uh...perform.

And by the way, spbm, "ladies," so far as I understand, don't talk about their gangbangs in public. :eek: :D

[stately plump buck mulligan]

But may we smile coquettishly and murmur, "Whoosh?"

[Starving Artist]

But of course. I whoosh as well...albeit in a somewhat tongue-in-cheek style. (Hence the smilies, lest they be taken too seriously.)

[slortar]

I was figuring it was three guys, one of whom couldn't...uh...perform.


I thought it was going to be a dwarf in bondage gear.

[archmichael]

Ya know... now I can't help but wonder what the selection pressure was which created the 'sperm tree' branch of the ol' evolutionary tree. You think that's scary, imagine what the Fundamentlist have to come up with for 'intelligent design'?

God: Arcangel Michael, come quick! Eve is about to walk into the Sperm Tree Grove!
Arcangel Michael: Look at her turn up her nose! :Wipes tear: That's hilarious!

Hereabouts, the sperm-smelling trees are ligustrum (Japanese privet). I thought they were called Japanese Bukkake Willows. Learn something new every day. :D

[lieu]

Anyone else surprised at the number of people familiar with the aromatic properties of spunk?

[scout1222]

Not really. I mean, many of us have had some pretty "up close and personal" experience with it. Nome sane?

:o


Heh.

[susan]

Please. Anything's better than the vomit gingkos.

[FinnAgain]

Le sigh -- didn't your mother teach you not to ask such questions of a lady?

Yes, but our fathers probably taught us to get photo evidence. Choices, choices.

archmichael: Yes, but really, what aspect of fundementalism isn't both scary and irrational? It's like a great big grabbag of the worst bits of the Dark Ages.

"Dinosaur bones? Dude, God is messing with your head. Yeah he's tying to trick you so that you wind up in Hell. Yeah, it's true, He's doing this out of His Infinite Love."

lieu: "reeking of sex."
'nuff said.

[lieu]

Ah, right you are, FinnAgain. I suppose the thermal element accompanying jizzufacture would tend to render it almost candlesque in it's nasal waftability.

[archmichael]

I'm just glad there aren't any poonani trees. I already think about sex every three sec.... Sorry, what was I saying?

[anu-la1979]

Despite numerous personal encounters with the substance in question, I can't think up what precisely it happens to smell like. I'll have to remember to take a good sniff the next time I procure a boyfriend so that I can probably identify these jizz trees if I'm ever in CA.

[FinnAgain]

lieu: Wow... I've never seen anybody describe 'hot monkey sex' while simultaneously making it sound absolutely unapealing.
I stand in awe.

archmichael: Hunh, what was that?
I was staring at your text...


anu-la1979: I am picturing the process whereby one might sit-a-while-and-sniff. I wish I was not.

On a side note, research has shown that our minds react to olfactory stimuli much the way to auditory stimuli. The same way that a few notes can bring back memories that you'd forgotten about, I'm sure that if you got a good whiff you'd find it somewhat familiar.

[The Scrivener]

Pussy Willows

Box Elder
Slash Pine


Here in suburban NJ, I've smelled a distinctly skunk-like odor in late-summer evenings. Never figured out which kind of tree was responsible, though. (The smell occurred too regularly to be from an actual skunk, in all likelihood.)

[Really Not All That Bright]

Now that we've gotten that settled... what the hell does semen smell like? I've got heaps of it (my OWN, people) and I've never detected a smell...

[Telperien]

I'm trying to ignore the idea of heaps of semen, but maybe you can't smell it because it's yours, meaning that you're used to it.

Or maybe you just don't have funky spunk.

[Dangerosa]

I had no idea what this thread was going to be about. Somehow, I pictured semen trees being like phone trees, or coupon trains, or chain letters. Somehow, its a relief to open the thread and get the image of "pass along semen" out of my head.

[scout1222]

Or maybe you just don't have funky spunk.

"Funky spunk" is just a hysterical word pairing. Much fun to say.

Maybe he drinks lots of pineapple juice.

[archmichael]

I, for one, am tired of Not Really All That Bright strutting around like his jizz don't stink!

:p

[stately plump buck mulligan]

Don't even get me started on semen pyramid schemes.

And I thought pineapple juice was to improve flavor, not scent?




I was going to make a new thread about this, but I figured I've gone over my "inane sensory complaint thread in the Pit" limit so I'll just say:

TheraFlu tastes like TheraAss. :(

[FinnAgain]

Don't even get me started on semen pyramid schemes.

I think they're called frat parties.


And I thought pineapple juice was to improve flavor, not scent?


Well, scent is an, um... intimate, compontent of flavor.



TheraFlu tastes like TheraAss. :(

But oddly enough, TheraAss tastes like chicken.

[Paisley Park]

Just to clarify, there are many trees that give off a jizz-like smell when in bloom, and they are not just in CA. You can find jizz-trees in the West, the Midwest, the East, the Northeast, and the South.

What, exactly, are all the trees in question? Surprisingly, we don't know. I'm surprised no one has done an official scientific study.

[stately plump buck mulligan]

Surprisingly, we don't know. I'm surprised no one has done an official scientific study.

Can you imagine the wording of the grant request.

[caveman]

Just to clarify, there are many trees that give off a jizz-like smell when in bloom, and they are not just in CA. You can find jizz-trees in the West, the Midwest, the East, the Northeast, and the South.

What, exactly, are all the trees in question? Surprisingly, we don't know. I'm surprised no one has done an official scientific study.


That would be a fun study to make a title for...

Cream of the Crop: Origins of Semen-like Odors in Common Flora

Does Something Smell Spunky to You?: (as above)

Lascivious Landscaping: (as above)

[anu-la1979]

Seriously, I've been wandering around since yesterday trying to conjure up the smell of pungent spunk. It's weighing heavily on my mind. Is it acrid, metallic etc. etc.?? I'm really going to have to get a move on in terms of getting my hands on a sample.

[Paisley Park]

Seriously, I've been wandering around since yesterday trying to conjure up the smell of pungent spunk. It's weighing heavily on my mind. Is it acrid, metallic etc. etc.?? I'm really going to have to get a move on in terms of getting my hands on a sample.

It has a very distinct smell. Sort of like a mixture of Sugar, All-Spice, and Nutmeg, with a hint of Watermelon. ;)


That would be a fun study to make a title for...

Cream of the Crop: Origins of Semen-like Odors in Common Flora

Does Something Smell Spunky to You?: (as above)

Lascivious Landscaping: (as above)

LOL!

[scout1222]

Wow, Paisley Park, you've certainly done your homework on the various bouquets found in semen. I bow in awe.

What kills me is that I'm going to be thinking of all of this the next time I "smell semen". I'm going to be in big trouble if I start laughing because of this. It's going to be ALL YOUR FAULT (everyone who's posting here) if things go south. :D

[FinnAgain]

I'm surprised no one has done an official scientific study.

"So, I've got a couple years left to get tenure, and it'll take a while to do my research , and then maybe upwards of a year to get it published, so I need to get started on a project now."

"Right, publish or perish..."

"So, I was thinking, I can do a massive study on trees around the nation which smell like cum. I can get so involved in this research that my lab becomes suffused with a pungent and clinging odor. I can do this, day in and day out, study these trees which smell like cum, and then hope I get published. Or I can study goldfish."

"So how those goldfish looking?"

[lieu]

Remember that at least one Doper's goldfish smell like cum too, the guy that used to masturbate into the aquarium when he was out of fish food.

[scout1222]

lieu, was this your 10,000th post? Or did you sneak off and post it somewhere else?

Because it this was #10K, what a doozy. :D

[Telperien]

Seriously, I've been wandering around since yesterday trying to conjure up the smell of pungent spunk. It's weighing heavily on my mind. Is it acrid, metallic etc. etc.?? I'm really going to have to get a move on in terms of getting my hands on a sample.

I once had the misfortune of smelling such a substance as you describe. It's not an experience I want to repeat. The producer of the jizz was a heavy smoker, drinker, and eater of meat, which combination might have something to do with the bouquet of his emissions (according to vegetarian ex-boyfriend whose spunk was not funky at all). It was a smell reminiscent of sweaty old gym socks but worse.

[Miss Bianca]

Don't answer if you'd rather not, stately plump buck mulligan, but do you go to University of Illinois?

Somehow, reading your post gave me a vivid mental (and olfactory) picture of the stanky trees between Lincoln and Greg. It's been twenty years since I've been there, but I can still smell those trees as if it were yesterday.

If it is U. of I., I remember reading an article in the Daily Illini saying that those trees were female gingkos.

[anu-la1979]

I'm currently posing as an Illini, Miss Bianca. When are the trees in bloom? I'll go take a whiff. Lincoln and Gregory...so are you referring to some place on the undergrad campus??? (sorry, I'm in a grad school built next to S. Farms so I don't venture much into that area)

[Paisley Park]

Wow, Paisley Park, you've certainly done your homework on the various bouquets found in semen. I bow in awe.

What kills me is that I'm going to be thinking of all of this the next time I "smell semen". I'm going to be in big trouble if I start laughing because of this. It's going to be ALL YOUR FAULT (everyone who's posting here) if things go south. :D


:D

[stately plump buck mulligan]

Update:

I think they are ginkgo trees (http://www.greendealer-exotic-seeds.com/seeds/Images/GinkgoTree.gif).

Samples to be collected tomorrow for analysis.

Oh, and I'll take some leaves from the trees too.

[bughunter]

Well, I for one have no idea what semen smells like, and didn't even know it had a smell until my wife complained about the "semen trees." I think I am physiologically unable to detect the odor of semen. But then, I have never been near any of it but my own.

At first I thought she was crazy. But then, she thought I was nuts comparing the odor of palm blooms to sweaty horse.

Scene - the car, driving home from dining out.

Her: "Smell that?"

Me: "What? Did I leave the handbrake on again?"

Her: "No. The semen trees."

Me: "The WHAT??"

Her: "The semen trees. There are trees that smell like sperm. Don't you smell it?"

Me (inhaling, considering): "No. I didn't even know sperm smelled."

Her: "Well, it does. And these trees smell just like them."

Me: "Mine doesn't. I've handled loads of it, and never smelled a thing. At least not as long as I washed the towel under my bed every so often."

Her: "Yes it does. And I don't doubt it. And that's gross."

Me: "Are you sure fresh semen has an odor? What does it smell like?"

Her: "I can't describe it. Like sperm. Nothing else is like it, it's unmistakable."

Me: "Is it the palms? They're in bloom. But to me they smell like sweaty old horses."

Her: "No they don't."

Me: "You haven't had to retrieve a frightened cat from the top of a palm in bloom. Now that I've identified the smell, I notice it every spring."

Her: "Palms don't smell. You're crazy."

Me: "I'm crazy? You're the one who insists that sperm smells."

And so on... after that, we went on to discuss what they call Big Macs in Paris.

[infamousmom]

There was, no kidding, a band called 'The Sperm Birds'.

My late father's favorite joke was that the children of the Sex Pistols formed their own band and called it Sperm Count.

[Ignatz]

Oddly, the day I discovered the cum trees was the same day I noticed cows had discovered oral sex. No joke. It was a bike ride to remember.

Was it good for YOU?

There was, no kidding, a band called 'The Sperm Birds'. They ripped off Cerebus the Aardvark for an album cover.

There was a banned, er, band, in Boston called "Vas Deferens". Maybe that's how it got to the trees.