I'm an old geezer

[Padeye]

My life is over. Over the goddamn hill. I spent almost an hour on the phone with microsoft trying to activate a copy of windows XP only to discover while on hold that if I used reading glasses the "B" in the product key magically turned into an "8." Crap on a stick! I apologized to the tech I had given so much grief to and asked him to extend that to the other 500 million folks in the India call center.

The type is pretty damn small and the 8 was just assymetrical enough from the way the dots lined up that it really did look like a B with no glasses. I have apparently passed the transitional phase where I needed reading glasses but even weak 1.5s were too strong, now they're just right. I may as well get yellow pants, hitch them up to my armpits and sit on the front stoop, yelling at kids to get off my lawn.

[Tuckerfan]

Better stock up on this stuff, then. (http://www.sciencenews.org/articles/20040131/fob3ref.asp) ;)

[Chefguy]

Welcome. I'd teach you the password and secret handshake, but I can't remember what they are.

[Sylkyn]

You too, huh?

I've had perfect (and I do mean, perfect) vision all my life. The only person in my entire family to be so blessed. I have always enjoyed being able to read signs a mile away, and miniscule print. Up close print was also never a problem. Glasses? HAH! Nevah!!

Until about eight months ago, that is. Did you know that your arm can only go so far away from your eyes when trying to read a book? I found it out not long ago. The print would blur, and I would blame it on the light, a lash in my eye, having a headache, the moon not being aligned with Saturn...anything. It certainly couldn't be my eyesight.

But yeah, it could. I finally broke down and got some reading glasses (weakest strength is all I need...for the moment (sob!) and hey...! I can read again! From a distance and up close and everything!

There is no joy, though...age has crept up on me and stolen the only damn thing I had nobody else I knew had...my eagle-eye vision. I await my hearing to muffle and then my knees to lock up and then "comfortable shoes" and then I guess I will finally transform into my mother.

And end up wearing Depends.


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

[Padeye]

Now think about it, do eagles ever need to read up close? As for distance vision you can have high visual acutity but still need glasses. I have sharp vision as long as I can focus and I have been nearsighted my whole adult life. Once I am corrected I always manage to test much better than "normal" 20/20.

[SandyHook]

If the light isn't good - gotta have the glasses.

The hair on top left town long ago. But in the finest tradition of aging hippies I have a ponytail.

The arthritis in my shoulder is doing better but my right social finger hurts like hell and gets stiff and doesn't want to bend.

The leg I broke 20 years ago is getting to where it hurts a lot.

Have to keep Tums handy.

My pecker is getting to where it's more decoration than usefull.

Don't sleep so good either.


Sigh, there just isn't a lot of good health news at 57 and my understanding is that it doesn't get better.







But , DAMN-IT I'm retired so it could be a lot worse.

[Ignatz]

"My pecker is getting to where it's more decoration than usefull".

"Sigh, there just isn't a lot of good health news at 57 and my understanding is that it doesn't get better."

But , DAMN-IT I'm retired so it could be a lot worse.

But did you hear about the guy that compained that he hadn't even seen his since Charlies's Angel's was on?."

Oh, but at 65 you can get Medicare A and maybe B. And a free flu shot, maybe. Got mine today-only 30 other folks in line. 900 fewer than the first two times I went. How do you stand the heat out there? I know, it's a dry heat. :cool:

[Salem]

I've always been the "one without the glasses" in my family, too. Slowly, in the last few years, I'd noticed a slight downward trend, with my arms getting a bit shorter and the lights getting a bit dimmer when trying to read, but I could still get the job done. Then in the last year or so, there seems to have been an optical avalanche. Last summer, I went camping and I could not read the registration card. Absolutely could not read where I should put what information. Had to have my camping partner read it for me. He is younger than me and had no problem pointing that out with each point to the appropriate blank space. I offered him some of my hair...

[Cinnamon Girl]

You people are depressing me. Only four years into my thirties and I'm now enjoying the beginnings of arthritis in my hands, tendonitis in my forearms and mild carpal tunnel in my wrists. Within the past couple years, I've developed never-before-afflicted-with eczema on my face and scalp and dry, dry hair. I can't sleep anymore. Every now and again I get to enjoy a painful back spasm that means standing up hurts, laying down hurts, breathing hurts, and sobbing gently, but pitifully is the only option. I do sound like Mel Brooks when I hack up my daily lung cookies. My cuticles hurt, too and my foot skin is like naugahide. I'm growing hair in strange places. I found a new grey hair the other day where it's not supposed to be. My knees pop often when I stand up which is a bit slower now. I feel dumber than I did 10 years ago because I can't remember stupid words like "this." All my body fat is sinking to my lower portions. I can't hear what you said over the din of the background chatter.

So, stick it in a sock, ya old geezers! Miserable physical afflictions are not just wasted on the old. We youngins get our fair share too, and you're not making us feel any better, 'kay? :(

Is anyone ever aware of being at the top of the hill or do you just wake up one day and realize you went over it sometime during the night? At what age are you supposed to go over it? How'd I end up with such a flat friggin' hill?

[ouryL]

My life is over. Over the goddamn hill. I spent almost an hour on the phone with microsoft trying to activate a copy of windows XP only to discover while on hold that if I used reading glasses the "B" in the product key magically turned into an "8." Crap on a stick! I apologized to the tech I had given so much grief to and asked him to extend that to the other 500 million folks in the India call center.

The type is pretty damn small and the 8 was just assymetrical enough from the way the dots lined up that it really did look like a B with no glasses. I have apparently passed the transitional phase where I needed reading glasses but even weak 1.5s were too strong, now they're just right. I may as well get yellow pants, hitch them up to my armpits and sit on the front stoop, yelling at kids to get off my lawn.

Scoff!!

I learned that long ago.

Soon 9's and P's will look alike too.

[BlackKnight]

And y'all drive too slow, too!

*runs away as fast as his healthy 23 year old legs can take him* :D

[OtakuLoki]

And y'all drive too slow, too!

*runs away as fast as his healthy 23 year old legs can take him* :D

Fortunately for us, ya young whippersnapper, using bolas is easy without even much strength or coordination.

*cackling gleefully as BlackKnight's legs get tangled and he falls flat on his face, while the walkers circle in...*

[swampbear]

Padeye you are a discount coupon away from the early bird special at Denney's. :D

[twickster]

Padeye you are a discount coupon away from the early bird special at Denney's. :D

Thus speaketh the AARP's newest member.

twicks, who got the dreaded envelope yesterday....

[Wile E]

Oooh, a discount coupon for Denny's?! Let's all go, then we can hold the menus for each other.


I have always been nearsighted but I could still read up close with my glasses on but in the past year or so I was suddenly unable to do this and then when I took my glasses off to read I had to hold the item at arm's length to read it! It happened so suddenly I thought there was something else wrong with me. Old age doesn't creep up on you, it leaps out at you when you least expect it like some ... er ... thing that leaps out at you when you least expect it.

[swampbear]

Originally Posted by swampbear
Padeye you are a discount coupon away from the early bird special at Denney's.


Thus speaketh the AARP's newest member.

twicks, who got the dreaded envelope yesterday....

You must join. You cannot resist. The support hose and year's supply of Depends TM will be in the mail next week. :D

[don't ask]

Welcome. I'd teach you the password and secret handshake, but I can't remember what they are.

I remember them, but I'm not telling him.

[don't ask]

We don't like his type around here.

[don't ask]

Bloody teenagers.

[Wile E]

Hey! Get off my lawn!

[Freyr]

I have apparently passed the transitional phase where I needed reading glasses but even weak 1.5s were too strong, now they're just right. I may as well get yellow pants, hitch them up to my armpits and sit on the front stoop, yelling at kids to get off my lawn.

I got bi-focals back in early '03, and now I think I need stronger ones. I'm only 45, too! I haven't gotten use to reading with 'em, either. *sigh*

I'm already on Zantac (for the GERD)... there's the stiffness in the joints, too. Luckily my partner is progressing about the same with me.

It's amusing when we got our respective pair of glasses mixed up and couldn't figure out why our vision was so bad that day. *sigh*

[rjk]

Hah! Why, I remember when I was a boy, people knew how to be old! My neighbour had thick glasses and used a cane for years, and he was only 17! The kid across the street was born bald! Kids these days! Grumble, grumble, grumble, grumble...

[Anne Neville]

Thus speaketh the AARP's newest member.

twicks, who got the dreaded envelope yesterday....

I got a letter encouraging me to join the AARP when I was in graduate school! Last week, I got a letter from some place that sells hearing aids. I'm not even 30 yet...

[BrotherCadfael]

Computer manufacturers need to use fonts larger than Flyspeck 3 for serial numbers and activation key stickers. Even if your eyes are still youthful and verdent, getting around the back of the machine to read the goddamned label can be nearly impossible, so you wind up trying to read it from three feet away, at an 80 degree angle.

One day, the computer industry is going to get his with an age-discrimination lawsuit that will make the tobacco settlement look like peanuts.

[BrotherCadfael]

that should be "get hit with an age-discrimination..."

[Chefguy]

I remember them, but I'm not telling him.

I think it starts with a "J", doesn't it?

[Padeye]

Well I'm already an AARP member becaue Cindy's age qualifies us. That I won't complain about as I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance. Yeah, screw you gecko!

[Sylkyn]

... there's the stiffness in the joints, too. Luckily my partner is progressing about the same with me.



I don't have stiffness in the joints...yet. However, when I walk out of a room, my knee pops so loud it sounds like a rifle shot. No kidding...my boss will gasp and say, "What was that?

It was my damn knee popping is what it was. He should know that sound. He's over sixty! I'm still young (44 dammit!) compared to him! He shouldn't even hear it!

Oh and for you young'uns: I started getting AARP letters before I turned thirty. I don't know what their hurry is.

[mks57]

It's one of my pet peeves. It's just bad design. I've seen several Motorola products, among others, that use insanely small fonts for the product's serial number, which is needed to activate the device. Other companies often use typefaces that make it difficult to distinguish between similar characters, like B and 8. This is entertaining when you have to type in a 50-character activation code to install a piece of software. It isn't that difficult to use a reasonable font size, a legible typeface, and a restricted character set that doesn't contain characters that are easily misread.

[danceswithcats]

Boy, I hated that. Used to be able to read the microscopic print on the back of an integrated circuit chip. Now I need the magnifiers. I'm still not officially old though as I don't have bigtime ear hair. When the Doper walker races are scheduled, lemme know-I'm ready! :p

[Keapon Laffin]

Wow. I haven't heard the word "geezer" before.

None of my friends seem to know it either.
My grandma seems to recall it being used a long time ago... before the war.
The first one.

:D

[Salem]

Did I tell you how when I was camping last year I couldn't see the registration card? Yes, terrible, it was. Not the camping, but the registration card. I couldn't see the damn thing.

[Rhubarb]

Yeah, they say the memory is the second thing to go.

The first is the uh ..., some other thing that um, you know, goes before the, um, first thing that goes.



Was I going somewhere?




Hey! get the hell off my lawn! (rotten kids, grumble, mumble, grumble)

(46 next month and almost ready for reading glasses)

[AskNott]

A geezer, huh? If you learn a little falconry, you can be a codger!