The life you live online, and In the Event of Your Passing

[Chastain86]

I've been thinking a lot lately about the online communities in which I spend my time. For me, the SDMB is basically the #1 place. I spend quite a bit of time at Fark.com as well, but I'm only a random contributor. I feel that people here know me a bit better than other places.

So it occurs to me that, with so much turnover (and particularly on a pay board like this one), a poster who dies unexpectedly may not be missed for quite some time. The thought is that this person has simply decided to move on...or found a new place to dwell, in the Elvis Presley sense of the phrase.

I have given instructions to my wife to log in under this username and inform the Board if I were to die. I wonder how many others have done the same.

I'd like to use this thread to encourage people to make connections with each other. Maybe everybody here could have a SDMB "buddy" who could be contacted by family members of the deceased if the worst should happen. I believe our board is unique, in that we're able to share ourselves more fully and honestly than other message boards. Ergo, there are more people to care that someone should no longer be around.

I don't know, I'm just thinking out loud here. What do others think of this idea? Or is there a better one I'm not thinking of?

[Ephemera]

I already have an SDMB Buddy: my friend (and boss), Gr8Kat. When I was in an accident last month she started this (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=284599) thread telling the board about it and also kept people on my livejournal updated about my condition too. I'm sure she'd do the same in case of my death. Well, except updating my condition.

"He's been dead for about a week now. His body should be decomposing by now."

[Sean Factotum]

I have given instructions to my wife to log in under this username and inform the Board if I were to die. I wonder how many others have done the same.
No, I don't believe I'll ask your wife to do this for me. I think it would be highly inappropriate, since I don't know either of you.

[Chastain86]

No, I don't believe I'll ask your wife to do this for me. I think it would be highly inappropriate, since I don't know either of you.

Okay, extra points on that one. :)

[beckwall]

No, I don't believe I'll ask your wife to do this for me. I think it would be highly inappropriate, since I don't know either of you.

My new hero, Sean Factotum. Nothing hit the screen or came flying out of my nose, but I did laugh/howl at that one.

[AngelicGemma]

Nocturnal_Tick and I are moving in together in September , so if I die, I hope he would notice and inform you all.

[matt_mcl]

I've asked Hamish to do this for me.

[Tripler]

Well, I haven't asked anyone to do this for me, but I guess I'll ask the few of those that know me to keep an eye out. They know where to look, and hopefully, would say something here. . .

But then again, word on my well-being has spread like wildfire here, and I thank y'all for it.

Tripler
Believe me, if I gotta go out, I want to go out with a BANG! :D

[iampunha]

Believe me, if I gotta go out, I want to go out with a BANG! :D

Nothing says BANG! quite like dry ice packed en masse in a tightly-sealed container;)

I have a feeling that, were I to die, y'all would be informed of it.

[Tripler]

Nothing says BANG! quite like dry ice packed en masse in a tightly-sealed container;)

I have a feeling that, were I to die, y'all would be informed of it.

I never said nuthin' (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=292220) about sealing it into a container. But, I did say that the chili itself may kill me.

Tripler
I have to wear special gloves just to serve my chili!

[Miller]

I've solved this particular problem for myself through the simple expedient of dating a Doper.

[Kythereia]

Sunspace and iampunha would be notified if anything went wrong.

[bouv]

I don't think the boards would ever know if I died. I don't know anyone all that well, and don't know anyone in real life. Also, none of my real friends really know about my board addiction, so it's not like they would make a screenname to inform everyone of my demise. I'm also not popular enough that anyone would ever start a "where's bouv" thread.

[Kythereia]

I'd wonder where you were, bouv. And I'd miss you. ;)

[El Cid Viscoso]

As it now stands, according to my will, on my death an executor will post my identity as well as messages to my dearest friends. A few Dopers are to be bequeathed items from my library.

Odd, isn't it? I've never met any of you.

[SolGrundy]

I've solved this particular problem for myself through the simple expedient of dating a Doper.
Same here.

[Silver Fire]

I don't think the boards would ever know if I died.
Same here.

[Regallag_The_Axe]

Were I to die, you all would know. For at my death, the thousand mighty warriors who follow me shall all become crazed, and the whole of the earth shall hear their cries of anguish. My funeral pyre shall reach so high that the gods themseleves would take note. So it was prophesied by the norn, so it shall be.

[CynicalGabe]

I remember a famous incident(s) a few years ago about a guy who created a second username, and after he had become familiar to other posters on a board, used the other username (ostensibly his brother or something) to tell everyone he had passed away. He wanted to see if anyone would miss him. Most of them were quite upset that he faked his (online) death.

[Ranchoth]

Well, I don't have any arangments made, so if I died tomorrow, I guess I'd just "dissapear" online. Eventually, my web page would shut down, but that's about it. I'd probably be lucky if anyone online posted a "say, anyone remember that 'Rencloth' guy who used to post here?" message, six months after I'm buried. :(

[Baker]

In the vent of my death the executor of my will has instructions to inform the boards. And my address book has certain people that should be informed of my passing, and a couple of them are Dopers, so they might speak out as well.

Horseflesh, your kids get my monster slippers! :D

[Harborwolf]

I'm engaged to a doper, so no worries there. I'm still hoping to die mid post though.


Well, I wouldn't recommend putting that there, but if it makes 67yimh[u6c


Haven't quite worked out how to hit the submit button though.

[Caprese]

I don't have much of a presence here and don't think my absence would be noted.
I remember when Persephone died. :(
There is another much smaller board I frequent. We lost our founding member very suddenly last March. You can imagine how sad it was. She left info with her husband and me, and passed on the administration duties to a trusted fellow boardmember. This all happened within a few weeks.
Several of us had met, and we had a couple phone numbers.
After our friend's passing we established a more thorough (voluntary) list.

[ShibbOleth]

As it now stands, according to my will, on my death an executor will post my identity as well as messages to my dearest friends. A few Dopers are to be bequeathed items from my library.

Odd, isn't it? I've never met any of you.

Can I have that jacket if you die? I think it would look fabulous on me.




:)


I'm kind of hoping my last post will be:


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhh!


I may have to put instructions in my will for someone to do that just in case I'm not able. Or figure out a way to post from the great beyond. That ought to settle a couple of Great Debates...

[Kyla]

Most of my RL friends here in Chicago are Dopers. I assume one of them would pass on the news.

[swampbear]

Three friends have been informed to log in under my user name in the event of my unfortunate and tragic passing from this life. I know they'll be devastated and cover themselves in sackcloth and pour ashes upon their heads, but I've asked them to be brave so that y'all will know. :D

However, I kinda like the idea of putting a statement in my will along with my user name and password. My sister is executor (executrix?) of my will. I'm sure she'd be pleased to know she is charged with telling a bunch of complete strangers of my demise. Then again, it's a way to bug her from beyond the grave. That makes it all win-win for me!

[Shirley Ujest]

I've told Mr. Ujest to come in here and post my demise.

Being writing challenged ( he will talk your ear off) he would probably post:


Shirley is dead. Just thought you should know.


This is the same man that I've told that no matter what age I die at, I want the picture of me in that bikini taken on the beach of California used as my Obit photo.

"But you were 21 when that was taken."

Me, smiling. " I know."

" What if you die at 95?"

"Then everyone will say, Wow, she looks great!"

"But that is lying."

"I don't care. I'll be dead."

[pseudotriton ruber ruber]

Seriously, it's probably a good idea to have some codicil in your will addressing this, to notify (if not to distribute your worldly goods to) your on-line buddies. IANAL, but I can't think of a reason you couldn't so direct your executor to do so.

Now that I think of it, my current will still lists my ex-wife, one of the four worst people ever, as my sole heir, so I should get around to changing that soon. When I do, I'll get The Straight Dope on it at the same time.

[NutMagnet]

I'm engaged to a doper, so no worries there. I'm still hoping to die mid post though.

Well, thank my lucky stars that I'm the epitome of good health. The possibility of croaking in mid post, though, is so remote tha
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[blinx]

I run a small art forum for a friend, most of the users are teenage aged girls who discuss art and show off their work.

Yesterday I saw a post titled "name_of_regular_poster's mother". I opened it up and inside was a message from the posters mother, that her 15 year old daughter would not be posting anymore, she was diagnosed with leukemia two months ago and during surgery just 1 days after she last posted, she had died. Before her operation they had talked about that there was a possibility that she might not survive surgery and in that case she wanted her mother to tell her friends. Her mother had then looked through the history of her computer and found the forum and descided to tell us about it.

We all knew she where in the hospital and could only post when the nurses would bring her a laptop. I don't think any of us knew that it was serious though, in her last post she told us about her new cats and sounded so happy.

I'm very glad her mother went through the trouble of telling us about it, especially in a time that must be so difficult for her.

I've read most of what she wrote on the forum and even though many knew her better, it still hit me quite hard.

[Colophon]

Her mother had then looked through the history of her computer and found the forum and descided to tell us about it.
Jeez, I hope my girlfriend doesn't do the same thing. Those Japanese schoolgirls would be so choked up.

[Iceland_Blue]

Well, thank my lucky stars that I'm the epitome of good health. The possibility of croaking in mid post, though, is so remote tha
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Damn.Now I have to go remove NutMagnet from my Celebrity Death Pool list.
For crying out loud,you only had to hold onto life for another 13 days.Breathing's not difficult dammit...

[ShibbOleth]

This is the same man that I've told that no matter what age I die at, I want the picture of me in that bikini taken on the beach of California used as my Obit photo.

"But you were 21 when that was taken."


You should probably go ahead and post that now. Just so, one day, we can see that pic again and say, "Wow, she doesn't look as if she's aged a day."

[audiobottle]

I suppose that when I die, I'll just have to log on and tell everybody else about it. Seeing as how being on these boards seems to take up most of my waking hours, I don't see how a little thing like dying is going to stop me any.

[Greywolf73]

My plan is simple--I''ll just haunt the SDMB. I'll be the first ever messageboard ghost. Like audiobottle, I'll probably post regularly in MPSIMS and keep you all updated on what the afterlife is like.

"Gaaah! Spider in my angelic robe!"

"Help me decide what to wear when I haunt my mother-in-law"

"To Eve--you'll never guess who I just ran into over here"

"Wow, Elvis really HAS left the building"



And just one post in GD:

"HA! Told ya so!"

:D

[Miller]

Same here.

What?! You cheating bitch!


Oh... wait...

[psycat90]

I married a Doper, though he's not very active here lately. Honestly, I don't know if he would post anything here (actually, I doubt he would), and I'm not sure I would if something were to happen to him. Again, I doubt I would.

We're more active on Livejournal, and I'm not even sure if I would post something there, I suppose I would, but I don't know, I can't think the circumstances through.

It would be more likely that I spoke personally to a close friend who also posts to LJ (and probably the SDMB) and they relay the news. But, I just don't know. And I can't speak for my husband, but I imagine his answer wouldn't be too far off from mine.

[Scumpup]

Don't think I'll bother. I'm not that important to any of you, nor any of you to me.

[umop ap!sdn]

We had another thread like this a while back, and I've thought about it since then and decided that it ain't worth it to me. I mean seriously, what's waiting for me in the Great Beyond... either an afterlife or nothingness. An afterlife would be great, but I can live with nothingness (haha, no pun intended). So to everyone I know, I'd have to say: don't worry about it.

I too remember when Persephone died, and I too felt really sad. To see all the grief it causes when a community is notified of the loss of one of its own, I don't want people to go through that just because of me. So if there still is an SDMB all those years from now (and I sure hope there will be!) I would want everyone to continue going on about their lives.

OTOH, there are posters I haven't seen around in a while that I miss and have to wonder if they've just found other internet haunts or... :(

[Loach]

Don't know any Dopers IRL (as far as I know). I doubt my wife will post anything. I doubt anyone will notice.


::sniff::

[Telperien]

My plan is simple--I''ll just haunt the SDMB. I'll be the first ever messageboard ghost. Like audiobottle, I'll probably post regularly in MPSIMS and keep you all updated on what the afterlife is like.

"Gaaah! Spider in my angelic robe!"

Hee hee hee!

I don't know what I would do. Probably have a friend or my SO post about what happened.

[Ruby]

When we went through our first Doper Death a few years ago, I made my husband promise to log on to the boards that I frequent to let everyone know. The SDMB community, in particular, is a close knit group and I would want to know if ANY of you met an untimely demise. We celebrate the births and tribute the lives of the people we love. Not to channel Martha Stewart, but it's a good thing.

[Casey1505]

If no one posts of my death within a month of my demise, I will come back as a super fast hamster and take over at the wheel here. When the board refreshes immediately, you will know I have passed on.

[Black Train Song]

You know, all the more incentive to get out there and affect (or infect) the people who are really around you, right?

I love these boards but the more lurker-ish I become, the better I feel. ;)

[Caprese]

I know what you mean, Rooves. And to some degree I feel the same way. A person has only so much time and motivation to build an online life.
However, the familiar phrase 'it's only the internet' is, I think, a bit of a cop-out. Message-boards are real communities and they do affect and reflect, for better or worse, the people who participate in them.
I met my friend face-to-face only once, but we spoke online often and I and others still miss her.

[Tripler]

I just thought of another spin on this, this morning:

What if one of us went to jail? (and for a crime we didn't commit)

I can see it now:

"Guys! Guys! We were hanging out at the DopeFest the other night, and all of a sudden, the cops bust down the door and drag out Tripler! We haven't bailed him out yet, but the dest sergeant muttered something about "conspiracy and attempted insurrection in a try to overthrow the government of Nauru. We know he's innocent, because the dates and times don't match. We were taking a tour of the museum during the attempted coup!"

Note to self: I shouldn't leave my ACME® 'Do-it-yourself Coup Kit' laying about the house anyways. :smack:

Tripler
"Yeah, he called us on his one free phone call. He says he needs a harmonica, a pack of smokes, and a tin cup."

[Ace309]

I post rarely enough that I doubt I'd be missed. As far as other boards go, I'm very active on one of them, so I suppose they'd notice something was amiss when I stopped posting and being available on IM. On another, I regularly take four-to-six-week sabbaticals because I get so frustrated with the sheer number of stupid people that post there, and I'm fairly hated, so they'd either not notice or celebrate. ;)

[Nawth Chucka]

Were I to die, you all would know. For at my death, the thousand mighty warriors who follow me shall all become crazed, and the whole of the earth shall hear their cries of anguish. My funeral pyre shall reach so high that the gods themseleves would take note. So it was prophesied by the norn, so it shall be.

Hey, you too??

Sadly, I don't know any RL Dopers; just Really Loathsome Dopes.

[Kythereia]

I just thought of another spin on this, this morning:

What if one of us went to jail? (and for a crime we didn't commit)


Posting on the boards? As Dopers, it's our honour-bound duty to try and get you out!

...Bail? Pffft. Posting bail is for sissies. Now where's that stash of acid and nail file for the bars?

[Astroboy14]

I died last week.


Well... I got better...

[BiblioCat]

I died last week.


Well... I got better...[Obligatory Princess Bride reference]

Obviously, you were only mostly dead.

[/OPBR]

[Polycarp]

And just one post in GD:

"HA! Told ya so!"

:D

Sorry, but I've had dibs on that one for five years now! :D

[Astroboy14]

[Obligatory Princess Bride reference]

Obviously, you were only mostly dead.

[/OPBR]

Oddly enough, I was planning on blaving later today as well! What a world :)

[Iceland_Blue]

Nocturnal_Tick and I are moving in together in September , so if I die, I hope he would notice and inform you all.
'Moving in' as in sharing a house or something more romanticci? :)

[Iceland_Blue]

I just thought of another spin on this, this morning:

What if one of us went to jail? (and for a crime we didn't commit)

I can see it now:

"Guys! Guys! We were hanging out at the DopeFest the other night, and all of a sudden, the cops bust down the door and drag out Tripler! We haven't bailed him out yet, but the dest sergeant muttered something about "conspiracy and attempted insurrection in a try to overthrow the government of Nauru. We know he's innocent, because the dates and times don't match. We were taking a tour of the museum during the attempted coup!"

Note to self: I shouldn't leave my ACME® 'Do-it-yourself Coup Kit' laying about the house anyways. :smack:

Tripler
"Yeah, he called us on his one free phone call. He says he needs a harmonica, a pack of smokes, and a tin cup."


I am the Nauruan Ambassador. News of Mr.Tripler's attempt to destabilize our country have not been well received. Details of Mr.Tripler have been issued to all ports and air facilities. Please report any sightings to a member of the Nauruan government. This man is armed and dangerous.

[Dunderman]

Pricegal knows about this place and has even posted her a few times, but I doubt she'd post that I died. I can't think of anyone else who might, so I guess I'd just disappear when the reaper came for me.

[AngelicGemma]

'Moving in' as in sharing a house or something more romanticci? :)

It's purely a friends thing. And this has nothing to do with the fact my boyfriend is reading this over my shoulder....
;)

I am of course, kidding. :)