Why, you sanctimonious little whore. Don't you use scare tactics on me.

[Dark Side of the Floyd]

This is the E-Mail I recieved from a girl I knew in the 8th grade. A devout fundamentalist, she constantly insists that "I'm going to hell".

As many times I've told her (nicely and not-so-nicely) not to send glurge-y or witnessing E-mails to me, it seems she can't help but shit in my Inbox.

This hellaciously long E-mail is brought to you, courtesy of (we'll call her) "Ann". If you'd rather not read it, I don't blame you. It was sent to me in 48 pt. red font, drawn out and spaced in such a way that you could not read a sentance without scrolling downwards.


God, when I received this e-mail, I thought...

I don't have time for this... And, this is really inappropriate during work.

Then, I realized that this kind of thinking is... Exactly, what has caused lot of the problems in our world today.

We try to keep God in church on Sunday morning...

Maybe, Sunday night..

And, the unlikely event of a midweek service.

We do like to have Him around during sickness...

And, of course, at funerals.
However, we don't have time, or room, for Him during work or play...

Because... That's the part of our lives we think... We can, and should, handle on our own.

May God forgive me for ever thinking...

That... there is a time or place where...

HE is not to be FIRST in my life.
We should always have time to remember all HE has done for us.

If, You aren't ashamed to do this...
Please follow the directions.

Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father."
Not ashamed?

Pass this on ONLY IF YOU MEAN IT!!!!111111
Yes, I do Love God.

HE is my source of existence and Savior.

He keeps me functioning each and every day Without Him, I will be nothing. But, with Christ, HE strengthens me. (Phil 4:13)

This is the simplest test.
If You Love God... And, are not ashamed of all the marvelous things HE has done for you...
Send this to ten people and the person who sent it to you!
I don't think I know 10 people who would admit they love Jesus. Do You love Him?



THE POEM

I knelt to pray but not for long, I had too much to do. I had to hurry and get to work For bills would soon be due. So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,
And jumped up off my knees.
My Christian duty was now done
My soul could rest at ease.
All day long I had no time
To spread a word of cheer. No time to speak of Christ to friends,
They'd laugh at me I'd fear.
No time, no time, too much to do,
That was my constant cry,
No time to give to souls in need
But at last the time, the time to die.
I went before the Lord, I came, I stood with downcast eyes. For in his hands God held a book; It was the book of life.
God looked into his book and said
"Your name I cannot find.
I once was going to write it down...
But never found the time"
Now do you have the time to pass it on?
Make sure that you scroll through to the end.



Easy vs. Hard
Why is it so hard to tell the truth but Yet so easy to tell a lie?
Why are we so sleepy in church but Right when the sermon is over we suddenly wake up?
Why is it so hard to talk about God but yet so easy to talk about nasty stuff?
Why is it so boring to look at a Christian magazine, but yet so easy to look at a nasty one?
Why is it so easy to delete a Godly e- ma il, but yet we forward all of the nasty ones?
Why are the churches getting smaller but yet the bars and dance clubs are getting larger?
Do you give up? Think about it . Are you going to forward this, or delete it?
Just remember-God is watching you. Prayer Wheel-Let's see the devil stop this one!
Here's what the wheel is all about. When you receive this, say a prayer for the person that sent it to you....

That's all you have to do....
There is nothing attached....
This is so powerful....
Do not stop the wheel, please....
Of all the free gifts we may receive, Prayer is the very best one....








There are no costs, but wonderful rewards.. GOD BLESS!

May God keep you and bless you. If this doesn't give you chills, nothing will...this message is very true. Hope you are all as blessed as I was from this story. I wonder how many people will delete this without reading it because of the title on it?


There once was a man named George Thomas, pastor in a small New England town. One Easter Sunday morning he came to the Church carrying a rusty, bent, old bird cage, and set it by the pulpit. Eyebrows were raised and, as if in response, Pastor Thomas began to speak..."I was walking through town yesterday when I saw a young boy coming toward me swinging this bird cage. On the bottom of the cage were three little wild birds, shivering with cold and fright. I stopped the lad and asked, "What you got there, son?" "Just some old birds," came the reply.








"What are you gonna do with them?" I asked








"Take 'em home and have fun with 'em," he answered. "I'm gonna tease 'em and pull out their feathers to make 'em fight. I'm gonna have a real good time." "But you'll get tired of those birds sooner or later. What will you do?"








"Oh, I got some cats," said the little boy "They like birds. I'll take 'em to them."

The pastor was silent for a moment. "How much do you want for those birds, son?"








"Huh?? !!! Why, you don't want them birds, mister. They're just plain old field birds. They don't sing. They ain't even pretty!"








"How much?" the pastor asked again.








The boy sized up the pastor as if he were crazy and said, "$10?"








The pastor reached in his pocket and took out a ten dollar bill. He placed it in the boy's hand. In a flash, the boy was gone.








The pastor picked up the cage and gently carried it to the end of the alley where there was a tree and a grassy spot. Setting the cage down, he opened the door, and by softly tapping the bars persuaded the birds out, setting them free.








Well, that explained the empty bird cage on the pulpit, and then the pastor began to tell this story.








One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting. "Yes, sir, I just caught the world full of people down there. Set me a trap, used bait I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em all!"








"What are you going to do with them?" Jesus asked.








Satan replied, "Oh, I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and smoke and curse. I'm gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other. I'm really gonna have fun!"








"And what will you do when you get done with them?" Jesus asked. "Oh, I'll kill 'em," Satan glared proudly. "How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked.








"Oh, you don't want those people. They ain't no good. Why, you'll take them and they'll just hate you. They'll spit on you, curse you and kill you. You don't want those people!!"








"How much?" He asked again.








Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, "All your blood, tears and your life."








Jesus said, "DONE!"








Then He paid the price.








The pastor picked up the cage he opened the door and he walked from the pulpit.

Notes: Isn't it funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell.

Isn't it funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan (who, by the way, also "believes" in God).

Isn't it funny how you can send a thousand jokes through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing?

Isn't it funny how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them.

Isn't it funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me than what God thinks of me.

I pray, for everyone who sends this to their entire address book, they will be blessed by God in a way special for them.

And send it back to the person who sent it, to let them know that indeed it was sent out to many more.


Now, I am definitely NOT making fun of Christians. I believe that the TRUE Christian is one who accepts people for the way they are, and DOESN'T TRY TO FORCE ANYTHING ON THEIR FRIENDS OR ACQUAINTANCES.

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

The reply to her as follows:

Fuck You.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

[iampunha]

Sometimes those who talk the talk are too busy to walk the walk:(

[ivylass]

"Isn't it funny that I have now blocked your e-mail address?"

Do so, or delete the e-mails without opening them.

Nothing like pounding somebody over the head with the Bible to make them feel all warm and fuzzy toward Jesus. :rolleyes:

[Guinastasia]

Yeah, but did the priest require that the little birdies stay around and kiss his ass and constantly remind them that he saved them and that they were worthless and they sucked and they were evil and hung the toilet paper up the wrong way?

:rolleyes:

[Zoe]

I would have been tempted to send her the following:

Why is it so hard to tell the truth but Yet so easy to tell a lie?
Why are we so sleepy in church but Right when the sermon is over we suddenly wake up?
Why is it so hard to talk about God but yet so easy to talk about nasty stuff?
Why is it so boring to look at a Christian magazine, but yet so easy to look at a nasty one?
Why is it so easy to delete a Godly e- ma il, but yet we forward all of the nasty ones?

Goodness, I am terribly concerned for you. It saddens me to know that you have gone down hill to to the point that you easily lie and now engage in pornographic conversations, reading and emails. You need to seek professional help.

Leave me alone. I am now afraid to open emails from you.

[AuntiePam]

Guinastasia, you actually read that whole thing? Dang. I guess her work is done then. ;)

[Guinastasia]

Guinastasia, you actually read that whole thing? Dang. I guess her work is done then. ;)

Naw, I just skimmed it over, I only really read the parable about the priest paying ten bucks so the little boy wouldn't torture the birds, which is then compared to Christ being tortured so the Devil wouldn't torture us or something.

[iampunha]

Guinastasia, you actually read that whole thing? Dang. I guess her work is done then. ;)

Yes, but it probably did not have the desired effect...;)

[Uvula Donor]

I only really read the parable about the priest paying ten bucks so the little boy wouldn't torture the birds...

I woulda held out for fifty from the old bastard.

[Logicalkitten]

And I was sure the punch line was going to be a cat came and immediately devoured the birds once they had been let out of the cage.
It sort of has a relevance analogy-wise, doesn't it?

[Diogenes the Cynic]

The stupid bird story doesn't even make logical sense. Christians believe that Jesus is God, right? So why would he have to "pay" for us poor "birds?" Why not just take us? What confers "ownership" on Satan within the context of the story anyway?

And didn't Jesus/God create Satan in the first place? Why? Didn't Jesus/God know what Satan was going to do?

And if Satan is really that much of a problem, why can't God just disappear him out of existence?


I'd probably send back a list of questions like this but people like that never answer them anyway. It makes their little peabrains hurt.

Can't you just block her from your email?

[Diogenes the Cynic]

I woulda held out for fifty from the old bastard.
And why stop at the birds. Now that the kid knows the old fart's an easy mark he could start grabbing stray cats and telling the preacher he's gonna set 'em on fire unless he gets a hundred bucks. I wonder how much money he could extort before the precaher would would finally say "fuck the cat."

[Guinastasia]

And why stop at the birds. Now that the kid knows the old fart's an easy mark he could start grabbing stray cats and telling the preacher he's gonna set 'em on fire unless he gets a hundred bucks. I wonder how much money he could extort before the precaher would would finally say "fuck the cat."

Either that or call Sister Mary Patrick in to smite his ass with thy holy ruler.

[GLWasteful]

I wonder how much money he could extort before the precaher would would finally say "fuck the cat."
At which point the kid could say, "Yeah! Great idea!" and disappear into an abandoned building.

That oughta be good for a few sheckles.

[butter pie]

I am annoyed by people who feel the need to tell me I'm going to Hell or try to use scare tactics on me. I'm convinced in many (if not most) they fully or subconciously realize scare tactics don't work; they just use them to hammer home their moral superiority and make themselves feel like they're "trying" to save you without admitting you into their ranks. A win-win for them. They keep their exclusive club, and yet get brownie points with God for trying to "spread the word." I had a sister who fell in with a bunch of Baptists and got involved in that mess. Thankfully it lasted about as long as her friendship with the other church members lasted. I swear, that particular church was one of the most cult-like things I've ever seen.

Aaaanyway. Whenever someone reminds me that as an immoral, Godless heathen/infidel (pick one) I am surely set to burn in the fires of Hell, I usually calmly explain to them that I try to live my life in the best possible way I can, under the philosophy of leaving the world a better place than I found it... and if that earns me eternal punishment in a firey pit, then so be it. Lack of concern or reaction usually results in them being angry or frustrated, but I've found it to be the best solution. Either that or just ignore them entirely. Getting angry or combatitive about it typically just eggs them on or makes them think they are more "right" because they're getting to you. YMMV.

[Jackmannii]

"No time, no time, too much to do,
That was my constant cry,
No time to give to souls in need
But at last the time, the time to die.
I went before the Lord, I came, I stood with downcast eyes. For in his hands God held a book; It was the book of life.
God looked into his book and said
"Your name I cannot find.
I once was going to write it down...
But never found the time"


Never knew the Lord was such a petty, sneering, vengeful sort.

Satan looks better all the time.

[ivylass]

The stupid bird story doesn't even make logical sense. Christians believe that Jesus is God, right? So why would he have to "pay" for us poor "birds?" Why not just take us? What confers "ownership" on Satan within the context of the story anyway?

And didn't Jesus/God create Satan in the first place? Why? Didn't Jesus/God know what Satan was going to do?

And if Satan is really that much of a problem, why can't God just disappear him out of existence?


See, there you go again, Dio, trying to use logic against the extreme fundies. ;)

Tsk tsk tsk.

[matt_mcl]

As many times I've told her (nicely and not-so-nicely) not to send glurge-y or witnessing E-mails to me, it seems she can't help but shit in my Inbox.

And you were so mad at her for sending you a proselytizing email and telling you to pass it on... that you passed it on?

;)

[Dr. Love]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Jesus say something about not shoving your piety in other people's faces? Might it be too much to hope that she might be swayed by a message from said source?

[Smeghead]

WOOO!! I AM MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHER FUCk!!!

[Princhester]

There are some threads where people have raised this sort of problem before, and other posters have suggested truly witty, well deserved and (I would expect) effective responses to this sort of harassment. Unfortunately, I can't think of any search terms with which to find same. Maybe someone else can point you in the right direction.

[picunurse]

A few months after my son comitted suicide, a woman I worked with sent me a e-mail "parable" concerning a teenager who died before being "saved" therefore, going to Hell.
I was shocked that anyone could be so cruel. I confronted her, hoping it was just a thoughtless forward.
No, indeed she felt it her duty to make sure I knew the "facts."
The only fact I knew at that moment, was that if I hit her, the consequences would outweigh the satisfaction I'd feel when she hit the floor.
I just reported the non-business use of e-mail to the owner of the company, showing him the e-mail.
He had her in his office for an hour and she came out crying. That still wasn't as good as watching her hit the floor would have been, but better than nothing.

[bobkitty]

Never knew the Lord was such a petty, sneering, vengeful sort.

Have you read the book?

[cj finn]

And if Satan is really that much of a problem, why can't God just disappear him out of existence?


Ya know, this is the problem right here. Last time I checked, good ol' Dios (not you, you cynic), was both all-knowing AND all-powerful. So god does have the power to disappear the devil. Since god created everything and everybody, and since she knew before hand what the plan was, god knows what shite is going to happen and what the "devil" will be up to. Its all planned. The god of the bible is a twisted fuck if you ask me.

Of course my own personal gods are perfect. If you doubt me, you're going to go to hell.

CJ, the poster formerly known as JOB

[ivylass]

A few months after my son comitted suicide, a woman I worked with sent me a e-mail "parable" concerning a teenager who died before being "saved" therefore, going to Hell.
I was shocked that anyone could be so cruel. I confronted her, hoping it was just a thoughtless forward.
No, indeed she felt it her duty to make sure I knew the "facts."
The only fact I knew at that moment, was that if I hit her, the consequences would outweigh the satisfaction I'd feel when she hit the floor.
I just reported the non-business use of e-mail to the owner of the company, showing him the e-mail.
He had her in his office for an hour and she came out crying. That still wasn't as good as watching her hit the floor would have been, but better than nothing.

What a horrible nasty bitch. I do hope she was fired, although tarring and feathering would be a minor punishment.

The cruelty of some of these so-called "christians" in the name of "spreading the gospel" never ceases to amaze me.

[luluBahrain]

A few months after my son comitted suicide, a woman I worked with sent me a e-mail "parable" concerning a teenager who died before being "saved" therefore, going to Hell.
I was shocked that anyone could be so cruel. I confronted her, hoping it was just a thoughtless forward.
No, indeed she felt it her duty to make sure I knew the "facts."
The only fact I knew at that moment, was that if I hit her, the consequences would outweigh the satisfaction I'd feel when she hit the floor.
I just reported the non-business use of e-mail to the owner of the company, showing him the e-mail.
He had her in his office for an hour and she came out crying. That still wasn't as good as watching her hit the floor would have been, but better than nothing.


A couple months after my dad's suicide my boss and another co-worker decided to tell me to my face where they thought my dad ended up. Then my boss, who was training at the time to become a pastor, saw my face and backed off a little. He said that my dad might not be in hell but it was for sure that he was suffering after death.
I just told them that that was their opinion but the God I believed in forgave everyone and if you believed you'd end up where you were supposed to be. THen I left the room and cried. Not my favorite day!

[Cat Whisperer]

What could people who do that possibly be trying to accomplish, by telling a grieving person that their loved one is burning in hell? I don't get that mindset one freakin' little bit - why would someone who professes to be a Christian try to hurt another human being for no reason? That is some particularly un-Christlike behaviour.

[Cinnamon Girl]

What could people who do that possibly be trying to accomplish, by telling a grieving person that their loved one is burning in hell? I don't get that mindset one freakin' little bit - why would someone who professes to be a Christian try to hurt another human being for no reason? That is some particularly un-Christlike behaviour.
Superiority complex.

[ivylass]

Some of the fundies are so wrapped up in the I'm Right You're Wrong that they seize on ANY chance to convert the heathens, many times without thought as to the appropriateness of the situation.

I mean, who has thought, "My father died without accepting Christ as his personal savior! He's in hell, my co-worker said so. I must hie myself off to the nearest church to escape the same fate."

And yet, for some fundies, that's exactly the reaction they're expecting.

[Kyla]

A couple months after my dad's suicide my boss and another co-worker decided to tell me to my face where they thought my dad ended up. Then my boss, who was training at the time to become a pastor, saw my face and backed off a little. He said that my dad might not be in hell but it was for sure that he was suffering after death.
I just told them that that was their opinion but the God I believed in forgave everyone and if you believed you'd end up where you were supposed to be. THen I left the room and cried. Not my favorite day!

YOUR BOSS did that? HOLY FUCK. I hope you don't work there anymore. I don't know if I could have ever taken directions from him ever again if that had been me.

[Dark Side of the Floyd]

Originally Posted by luluBahrain
A couple months after my dad's suicide my boss and another co-worker decided to tell me to my face where they thought my dad ended up. Then my boss, who was training at the time to become a pastor, saw my face and backed off a little. He said that my dad might not be in hell but it was for sure that he was suffering after death.
I just told them that that was their opinion but the God I believed in forgave everyone and if you believed you'd end up where you were supposed to be. THen I left the room and cried. Not my favorite day!



I wish I had as much restraint as you did then. I would have kicked him in the teeth.

[Zoe]

I think that on-the-job religious harassment has gotten a lot worse in the last twenty years. And certainly such confrontations as have been described here -- especially during a time of grief -- would have been unthinkable for Christians when I was growing up in the 1950's.

[aruvqan]

When I was in hospital getting ready to lose a 22 week fetus, all the sanctimonius assholes of right to lifers seemed to focus on was woman in hospital, proceedure scheduled for the next morning, and 22 weeks. Obviously I was in for an abortion, so they tag-team yelled at me for 45 minutes with the fucking nursing sisters ignoring my ringing for those bitches to come and remove these twats from my room and then my worthy of sainthood OB-GYN walked in and read them the riot act. He then called and arranged for me to be transferred to a different hospital, and removed his practice [of 7 partners] from the hospital. HE also paid out of his own pocket for everything in the new hospital, and helped me sue the previous hospital. He was more than a little irked that the hospital let these idiots in, and let them romp through patient files at the desk so they could go lecture evil fallen women like me...

Never ever go to a catholic hospital if you arent hard line catholic and delivering rather than losing a fetus. Yes, there are catholic fundies out there as well...

[luluBahrain]

YOUR BOSS did that? HOLY FUCK. I hope you don't work there anymore. I don't know if I could have ever taken directions from him ever again if that had been me.


It's a state job so it took a couple more things to happen to get me transferred out but I don't work directly under him anymore.

[betenoir]

I mean, who has thought, "My father died without accepting Christ as his personal savior! He's in hell, my co-worker said so. I must hie myself off to the nearest church to escape the same fate."

And yet, for some fundies, that's exactly the reaction they're expecting.


Exactly.

Whereas my reaction...and I suspect the reaction of many...at the thought of a loved one suffering in hell (any loved one but my lord, certainly a child) is "I'd rather suffer with them." That and "I want no part of a god who lets them suffer."

What sort of heaven can there be if you know your child is suffering?

[ivylass]

When I was in hospital getting ready to lose a 22 week fetus, all the sanctimonius assholes of right to lifers seemed to focus on was woman in hospital, proceedure scheduled for the next morning, and 22 weeks. Obviously I was in for an abortion, so they tag-team yelled at me for 45 minutes with the fucking nursing sisters ignoring my ringing for those bitches to come and remove these twats from my room and then my worthy of sainthood OB-GYN walked in and read them the riot act. He then called and arranged for me to be transferred to a different hospital, and removed his practice [of 7 partners] from the hospital. HE also paid out of his own pocket for everything in the new hospital, and helped me sue the previous hospital. He was more than a little irked that the hospital let these idiots in, and let them romp through patient files at the desk so they could go lecture evil fallen women like me...

Never ever go to a catholic hospital if you arent hard line catholic and delivering rather than losing a fetus. Yes, there are catholic fundies out there as well...

Good for your doctor! May I ask the particulars of the lawsuit? Did you sue both the hospitals and the right-to-lifers?

I'm very sorry for your loss as well. I can't imagine going through a miscarriage and having to justify yourself to a bunch of strangers. :(

[PunditLisa]

I'd comment on how outrageous the e-mail was but there are not enough minutes in my day to justify reading it. I suggest you do what I do: once you realize that it's one of *those* types of e-mails, hit the "delete" key and carry on with your life. That way you don't have to expend the energy to work up a good case of righteous indignation.

[Derleth]

I'd comment on how outrageous the e-mail was but there are not enough minutes in my day to justify reading it. I suggest you do what I do: once you realize that it's one of *those* types of e-mails, hit the "delete" key and carry on with your life. That way you don't have to expend the energy to work up a good case of righteous indignation.The second step, which you leave out for some reason, is to place the sender on whatever serves as a killfile in your email client. Plonking a loser is a good way to avoid further hassle and get a quick jolt of righteous satisfaction at the prospect of ensuring your inbox's future usefulness.

If your client doesn't have any filtering capability, install one that does and tell me about it, that I may point and laugh at the most primitive POS still connected to a server. If you must occasionally get email from that person, your client should be able to filter on content like 'Jesus' and 'damned' and 'kitten' that is unlikely to show up in sanity- or work-related email.

[jayjay]

It's a state job so it took a couple more things to happen to get me transferred out but I don't work directly under him anymore.

Wait...WHAT!?

Your public servant boss told you to your face that your dead father was burning in Hell and you didn't report him to the appropriate state office and get his ass busted down to Chief Muckraker in Charge of Bakersfield Sewage Treatment Plant?

If my supervisor ever did that to me (I work for the state of Pennsylvania, and my entertainingly acerbic boss would never do that, but hypothetically...) I would be on the phone to Harrisburg before she got back to her office.

Were there ANY consequences to such a horrible breach of appropriate behavior?

[Gatopescado]

Eighth grade? :confused:

[luluBahrain]

Not really. Once the ball started rolling, and it didn't start rolling until some worse stuff happened including almost everyone in the office, my boss' superior tried to say that he thought I was bipolar. Which I am not, if I was I would have told him. ANyways, a whold bunch of fucked up shit happened until I finally went to the union , who got me out of there the same day. But no one was was even really reprimanded. My boss was " talked to" about sharing confidential information. This included telling others why I was at the doctor, etc. Plus, I found out that about 5 or 6 people before I even started had had problems with this same group of people in the office and had either quit or transferred. I love my union and have come to terms with the rest. I will take them to the highest extent of what I can do if anything starts again.
One thing that was good is that I filed for workman's comp for the stress. I was told this was extremely hard to prove and get approved but I got the time I had had to take off reimbursed.

[Clothahump]

This is the E-Mail I recieved from a girl I knew in the 8th grade. A devout fundamentalist, she constantly insists that "I'm going to hell".

Now, I am definitely NOT making fun of Christians. I believe that the TRUE Christian is one who accepts people for the way they are, and DOESN'T TRY TO FORCE ANYTHING ON THEIR FRIENDS OR ACQUAINTANCES.

Suggestion - r3espond back to Super Fundie and ask her to do you a favor. Please send you absolute, conclusive proof that the mythology of the Bible is true and correct in all aspects. Also ask her who Cain married?

If she can't provde all of that, it's time for her to go piss up a rope.

[Fuji Kitakyusho]

You're going to hell! (save me a seat)
Jesus Saves! (by clipping coupons and shopping wisely)
Have you found Jesus? (I didn't even know he was missing)

Meh.

[Lok]

You're going to hell! (save me a seat)
Jesus Saves! (by clipping coupons and shopping wisely)
Have you found Jesus? (I didn't even know he was missing)

Meh.
When they tell you that you are going to hell, you could always get some of these cards (http://www.getoutofhellfree.com/) to give them.

[Martin Hyde]

I have to wonder if I started a thread like the hundreds of generalizing anti-Christianity threads on these forums about homosexuals, and specifically because a homosexual asked me out (thus trying to convert me to homosexuality, I could argue) would it be nearly as accepted?

I'll never understand why it's okay to stereotype and defame an entire class of people based on what they believe in one specific area of their life but most other similar classes are protected tooth and nail here.

[betenoir]

You're going to hell! (save me a seat)
Jesus Saves! (by clipping coupons and shopping wisely)
Have you found Jesus? (I didn't even know he was missing)



Do you know Jesus? Well...not in the Biblical sense...

[iampunha]

I have to wonder if I started a thread like the hundreds of generalizing anti-Christianity threads on these forums about homosexuals, and specifically because a homosexual asked me out (thus trying to convert me to homosexuality, I could argue) would it be nearly as accepted?

ISTM that these threads could be seen as anti-Christianity threads but are in fact anti-bad-Christian threads.

Best of luck with that "trying to convert me" argument. FTR, I wouldn't consider a polite (non-loaded) invitation to church as a conversion attempt, but I don't know what an IMHO poll would reveal in the way of other opinions.

I'll never understand why it's okay to stereotype and defame an entire class of people based on what they believe in one specific area of their life but most other similar classes are protected tooth and nail here.

Ask yourself if it's the entire class of people or those who are piss-poor examples. We have a number of, for lack of a better term, "good Christians" who are just as pissed off by bad Christians (if not more so: the bad sort give Christians a bad name) as others of us are.

There have certainly been anti-[religion] comments here and I have found that they are almost invariably combatted. When I find them and it isn't four pages into the thread I try to make an effort to do so myself. YMMV.

[butter pie]

I have to wonder if I started a thread like the hundreds of generalizing anti-Christianity threads on these forums about homosexuals, and specifically because a homosexual asked me out (thus trying to convert me to homosexuality, I could argue) would it be nearly as accepted?

I'll never understand why it's okay to stereotype and defame an entire class of people based on what they believe in one specific area of their life but most other similar classes are protected tooth and nail here.

I believe the general consensus here is that homosexuals are born the way they are, and their attraction to you would just be a consequence of that, if they were. I don't think you could say they were trying to "convert" you... unless they were telling you you'd suffer eternally if you didn't go out with them. Or something. That's like saying a black dude or chick was trying to convert you to blackness by asking you out. You are, or you're not.

On the other hand, I don't think anyone is born with the innate compulsion to email their friends, family, and acquaintances messages telling them how they are damned to eternal suffering and torture. But, I could be wrong.

[cabbit]

A few months after my son comitted suicide, a woman I worked with sent me a e-mail "parable" concerning a teenager who died before being "saved" therefore, going to Hell.
I was shocked that anyone could be so cruel. I confronted her, hoping it was just a thoughtless forward.
No, indeed she felt it her duty to make sure I knew the "facts."
The only fact I knew at that moment, was that if I hit her, the consequences would outweigh the satisfaction I'd feel when she hit the floor.
I just reported the non-business use of e-mail to the owner of the company, showing him the e-mail.
He had her in his office for an hour and she came out crying. That still wasn't as good as watching her hit the floor would have been, but better than nothing.

picunurse, I just wanted to express my sorrow for your loss.

It never fails to amaze me how cruel fanatics can be. I'm perfectly sure that she rationalized away and justified her actions towards you. I'm a Christian, and it just boggles my mind sometimes to watch some people's vile, selfish actions towards others in the name of "saving" them.

I'm so sorry.

[Martin Hyde]

The general consensus is based on "scientific" evidence that is so small and without causality it's amazing the same people that will squibble over nothing here on the Straight Dope accept it because it's "liberally appropriate" to do so.

And anyways, lots of people who are definitely straight can be gay. Personally I'm straight but the idea of having male on male intimacy isn't something that makes me go "yuck." Say if I was stranded on a desert island I'd do it more than likely. Although my fantasies are always female oriented.

So I think firstly even if there are people are biologically forced to be homosexuals there are lots of people who can function as homosexuals and not really be "pure" homos (just as many homosexuals can function as heterosexuals, some with little emotional problems.)

And yes on paper these threads start about one bad apple but you scroll down far enough and you'll always find someone insulting the whole religion, or categorizing wide swathes of believers.

And anyways, since most of us here believe in freedom of choice in our personal lives being understanding of something that isn't inborn isn't really that many degrees of difference from being understanding of something that is inborn.

Also @whoever I don't use this method when I try to convert someone. Of course Catholics don't tend to witness per se, although I've counseled people on the love that Christ has to offer. I'd never do so twice if someone rebuked me the first time. Or call someone anonymously over the phone.

[iampunha]

And anyways, lots of people who are definitely straight can be gay.

They can be gay or they can engage in homosexual intercourse? World of difference, I promise (look at my social calendar;)).

So I think firstly even if there are people are biologically forced to be homosexuals there are lots of people who can function as homosexuals and not really be "pure" homos (just as many homosexuals can function as heterosexuals, some with little emotional problems.)

Oy. Separating the message from the delivery (biologically forced to be gay? Distinctly negative connotation.)...I generally come across as a heterosexual individual, or at least so I've been told by and large. The way my attraction to people works is definitely not consistent with heterosexuals in that a straight man is generally not going to be sexually attracted to another man. If the man is cute, I might. There are lots of us on this board who are ... what I think you're describing is bisexuality. That's me. I don't see how that's an argument, in any sense, against gay people.

And anyways, since most of us here believe in freedom of choice in our personal lives being understanding of something that isn't inborn isn't really that many degrees of difference from being understanding of something that is inborn.

Oh, the fuck it isn't. If I decide to live a life of going around shooting people in the head, at random, you're going to tell me that's so utterly similar to someone living a life as a blond-haired individual? There can be a gaping crevice between what we decide to do and what is hard-wired, so to speak.

Of course Catholics don't tend to witness per se, although I've counseled people on the love that Christ has to offer.

This is meant in a sincere manner (and I say that to distance it from the rest of my post): was that counsel solicited or un-?

[aruvqan]

Good for your doctor! May I ask the particulars of the lawsuit? Did you sue both the hospitals and the right-to-lifers?

I'm very sorry for your loss as well. I can't imagine going through a miscarriage and having to justify yourself to a bunch of strangers. :(

Well, We had fun. I got an apology from the hospital, from the nursing staff/days [I was admitted in the middle of the night, and apparently the only information on my file was the 10 am operation David scheduled to make sure that when the dead fetus was removed he got all of the placenta and made sure everything was squeeky clean. Apparently a D&C is performed as both an abortion, and to make sure everything is out in the case of a known miscarriage/natural spontaneous abortion. Hence, due to the nurses *accidently* leaving my folder where it could be read by lay-idiots who apparently did not know jack shit, I got abused for 45 minutes because *obviously* a D&C is an abortion.] The night staff were sweethearts to me so I didnt have a problem with them. The hospital lost a large OB-GYN office's practice, from what I understand one of their largest chunks of business walked out the door that morning. I also got $25,000. I do understand that the charge nursing sister for that ward got sent off to another hospital, as you cant really fire nuns :rolleyes: In retrospect, I could have caused a lot more stink, and maybe gotten way more money, but I was never really one top try to milk money out of a situation.

On the plus side, David made a requirement from the new hospital he went with that none of his patient records were to be left at the nurses main counter but had to be kept in the charge nurses office after that. I understand that a couple of years later a number of hospitals made regulations barring right to lifers or even random clergy access to people waiting for proceedures...you had to specify that you wanted the hospital chaplain to visit :)

[butter pie]

After seeing how homosexuals are treated like second-class citizens by a large segment of the population at large, and the amount of discrimination they meet, I find it hard to believe anyone would choose that life unless it truly was the way they were/only way they could lead a fulfilled life. I just don't see how you can draw a comparison to someone using scare tactics to prosthelytize (sp, lazy) their religion.

A lot of us non-believers have been harassed, talked down to, treated poorly, reminded constantly of our eternal damnation, by holier-than-thou Christians. It kind of leaves a bad taste in your mouth after awhile. There are a lot of what I would call true and very good Christians on this board that don't do that. I wish more were like them. But it seems the ones that get the most attention and are the most vocal are the really obnoxious ones. So that's why that kind of knee-jerk reaction exists. I wish the more peaceful Xian types would try to encourage their peers to follow their example, it would help with the negative image of Xians right now as well as cut down on the constant nagging and fire-and-brimstone us non-believers deal with.

Oh, fuck it. I just got lambasted for suggesting that there might be some scientific or intellectual merit to study in paranormal research, by someone who thinks that along with Christian beliefs are "crap." So I quit. You're right, and my brain hurts.

[iampunha]

...prosthelytize (sp, lazy)...

Proselytize. FYI:)

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

I believe the general consensus here is that homosexuals are born the way they are, and their attraction to you would just be a consequence of that, if they were. I don't think you could say they were trying to "convert" you... unless they were telling you you'd suffer eternally if you didn't go out with them. Or something. That's like saying a black dude or chick was trying to convert you to blackness by asking you out. You are, or you're not.

On the other hand, I don't think anyone is born with the innate compulsion to email their friends, family, and acquaintances messages telling them how they are damned to eternal suffering and torture. But, I could be wrong.

HEY!

Welcome back, jinwicked!

Ain't seen you on the Board since, what, March? :cool:

[GLWasteful]

And yes on paper these threads start about one bad apple but you scroll down far enough and you'll always find someone insulting the whole religion, or categorizing wide swathes of believers.
Nonstarter. Most of the threads bitching about a particular subset of humanity wind up with at least one person claiming that everyone who is associated with the aforementioned subset is crap.

Of course Catholics don't tend to witness per se, although I've counseled people on the love that Christ has to offer. I'd never do so twice if someone rebuked me the first time. Or call someone anonymously over the phone.
And so long as those people were asking for your counsel, that's great. As to you not pushing the issue after being rebuked and/or placing anonymous calls, well, you can take some comfort in being one of the good Christians.

And aruvqan: I'm sorry to hear that you went through what must have been pretty horrible. Were I you, I woulda rolled around naked in that 25K and given some of it to Planned Parenthood. Of course, that's just me.

[eleanorigby]

Well, We had fun. I got an apology from the hospital, from the nursing staff/days.... due to the nurses *accidently* leaving my folder where it could be read by lay-idiots who apparently did not know jack shit, I got abused for 45 minutes....one of their largest chunks of business walked out the door that morning.
On the plus side, David made a requirement from the new hospital he went with that none of his patient records were to be left at the nurses main counter but had to be kept in the charge nurses office after that. I understand that a couple of years later a number of hospitals made regulations barring right to lifers or even random clergy access to people waiting for proceedures...you had to specify that you wanted the hospital chaplain to visit :)

As a NURSE--I am appalled at the way you were treated-Catholic hospital or no.

I wish you had gotten MORE from them. This is obviously long before HIPPA requirements, but still. Kudos to your doctor and his group!
One note about the local Catholic hospital--it does not allow it's staff OB/GYNE's to prescribe birth control pills in the offices on its campus. If you want BC, and go to one of their docs, you have to go to their off site office, located about 15 miles away.

When I heard that, I crossed them off the list of future employers of me......

As to the thread: my mother has had to watch 2 of her 4 daughters die slowly and horribly from complications of juvenile diabetes. My parents live in Memphis, TN. They have a Baptist neighbor (gee, what a surprise)--who when Sandy died, brought a tract over and a message that while there was no help for Sandy (ill since age 8, dead at 40), my mother could still be saved. My mother, while devastated, was polite and civil.

Daughter number 2(ill at 14, dead at 46)died this August--of the same disease, in the same way. Again with the neighbor--but this time, doesn't my Mom see that Jesus is trying to reach her by this death and she(the neighbor) is only trying to help save my mother's eternal soul? My mother told her to get out, slammed the door and wrote a letter to the neighbor stating that while she wanted to be a good neighbor--she could no longer have an interaction with this woman.

She is thinking about a restraining order re: this woman.

So, Martin , I don't find ANY of the abuse doled out to this nasty subset of "Christians" too much, over the top or in any way out of line. I also thnk that most caring Christians on this bb (what little I have seen of them in the short time I have been here) understand the difference and deplore the actions of these sanctimonious, righteous hypocrits, who give all Christians a bad name.

I would be tempted to send back any number of snide emails in return, but the answer with these folks is to ignore them. If they get ANY response, they just keep acomin'.

[Cat Whisperer]

<snip>I'll never understand why it's okay to stereotype and defame an entire class of people based on what they believe in one specific area of their life but most other similar classes are protected tooth and nail here.
This thread and others like it are not ranting against what a class of people believe; it's ranting against how they *behave*. Do you honestly not see that?

[ivylass]

I do not defame Christians. If their beliefs give them comfort and solace, more power to them.

I take exceptions to the "fundies," that sect of hard-core Christianity who believes they are right and you are going to hell if you don't believe exactly the way they do, who make it a point to take a tragedy in your life and turn into a sermon.

To use your example, while I have no problem with homosexuals, I have a problem with those who feel it is their purpose in life to "out" other in-the-closet homosexuals.

It's not the belief, it's the behavior. Believe what you want. But do not assume you have a right to determine my beliefs are wrong.

[Dangerosa]

To use your example, while I have no problem with homosexuals, I have a problem with those who feel it is their purpose in life to "out" other in-the-closet homosexuals.
.

Or those few political lesbians who accuse you of gender treason for preferring men.....

(may they be locked in a closet with fundies until one of them explodes)

To those that have been on the receiving end of this offensive garbage, I am sorry for your respective losses and sorry you were ever exposed to anyone who felt the need to use them as a pulpit.

[drachillix]

I do understand that the charge nursing sister for that ward got sent off to another hospital, as you cant really fire nuns :rolleyes:

If that nun is a nurse, shes licenced. Nurses are so valuable seeing one fired is pretty rare and they have little fear of it. If you need enforcement against legitimate mistreatment by a nurse, file a complaint with the licencing board for your state. If they lose their licence, they cannot work anywhere. Allowing patients to be harrassed by outside parties, for longer than it takes for security to arrive, is beyond my capacity for rational responses.

[Medea's Child]

A lot of us non-believers have been harassed, talked down to, treated poorly, reminded constantly of our eternal damnation, by holier-than-thou Christians. It kind of leaves a bad taste in your mouth after awhile. There are a lot of what I would call true and very good Christians on this board that don't do that. I wish more were like them. But it seems the ones that get the most attention and are the most vocal are the really obnoxious ones. So that's why that kind of knee-jerk reaction exists. I wish the more peaceful Xian types would try to encourage their peers to follow their example, it would help with the negative image of Xians right now as well as cut down on the constant nagging and fire-and-brimstone us non-believers deal with.


I try to qualify as a true Christian. I get harassed from both sides - fervent believers who think I'm doing it wrong and non believers who tell me I'm stupid for believing. It does leave a bad taste, and I tend to not want to hang out with either one.

Usually, I just keep my mouth shut unless asked. My beliefs are my own, they work for me, anyone who takes issue with them is welcome to not follow them.

As for the inane e-mails, I have a stated policy of blocking anyone who forwards me anything non "business" related. (if its on Snopes or is glurge of any sort, you get blocked.) Only my grandmother is exempt. (andshe does not misuse her privledge) Reply that you don't appreciate lame c&p forwards and that if she really cared she'd send you a real e-mail outline her position. If she does, you can have a fun chat, if she doesn't, life continues as normal, if she sends you another craptastic forward, you can block her.

[Rilchiam]

One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting. "Yes, sir, I just caught the world full of people down there. Set me a trap, used bait I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em all!"

"What are you going to do with them?" Jesus asked.

Satan replied, "Oh, I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and smoke and curse. I'm gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other. I'm really gonna have fun!"

"And what will you do when you get done with them?" Jesus asked.

"Oh, I'll kill 'em," Satan glared proudly.

"How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked.

"Oh, you don't want those people. They ain't no good. Why, you'll take them and they'll just hate you. They'll spit on you, curse you and kill you. You don't want those people!!"

"How much?" He asked again.

Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, "All your blood, tears and your life."

Jesus said, "DONE!"

Then He paid the price.

See, that's stupid. All those things---divorce (?), hatred, abuse, smoking, drinking, cursing, violence---are happening anyway. And the same people who pass on these kinds of messages also warn about Armageddon, which would be the "kill 'em after I'm done with 'em". So by this logic, what good was the Crucifixion?

[Diogenes the Cynic]

It also carries a heretical message that the crucifixion was a price paid to Satan rather than God.

[Derleth]

It also carries a heretical message that the crucifixion was a price paid to Satan rather than God.To be fair, this heresy actually makes sense.

Of course, religions aren't constrained by logic, but the whole notion of "sacrificing himself to himself to change his own rules" has stuck in many people's craws.

[Loopydude]

This is the E-Mail I recieved from a girl I knew in the 8th grade. A devout fundamentalist, she constantly insists that "I'm going to hell".

As many times I've told her (nicely and not-so-nicely) not to send glurge-y or witnessing E-mails to me, it seems she can't help but shit in my Inbox.


You need to send her lots of porn. Lots and lots. Find the nastiest bukkake and anal sites in the internet, and send her a jpeg on every Sunday. Send her tons of links to Landover Baptist (http://www.landoverbaptist.org/), disguised as typical Jesus Glurge, and see how long it takes for her to catch on. Tell her you want her carnally, and that you dream of her in a Satanic Feast of Flesh. etc.

Look, you could do the dignified thing and ignore her, but what's the fun in that. She has provided you with all the justification you need to take this golden opportunity to really torment the deserving, and, frankly, I envy you that. Have fun, buddy!

[Contrapuntal]

I have to wonder if I started a thread like the hundreds of generalizing anti-Christianity threads on these forums about homosexuals, and specifically because a homosexual asked me out (thus trying to convert me to homosexuality, I could argue) would it be nearly as accepted?

I'll never understand why it's okay to stereotype and defame an entire class of people based on what they believe in one specific area of their life but most other similar classes are protected tooth and nail here.

Didja read this part, ya yutz?

Form the OP.

"Now, I am definitely NOT making fun of Christians. I believe that the TRUE Christian is one who accepts people for the way they are, and DOESN'T TRY TO FORCE ANYTHING ON THEIR FRIENDS OR ACQUAINTANCES."

[5que]

Never ever go to a catholic hospital if you arent hard line catholic and delivering rather than losing a fetus. Yes, there are catholic fundies out there as well...
I had to go into a catholic hospital about 20 years ago to have my wisdom teeth out. They asked my religion, which they put on the ID bracelet. I told them “Druid” (I was forewarned by a friend who worked there). It actually worked – the nuns would grab my arm, look at the bracelet, then leave me alone.

[Velma]

My mother-in-law sent me the same e-mail. I am a Christian but it really ticks me off when she sends me this crap, especially the whole 'if you don't forward this e-mail you are not a good Christian' bit. Excuse me? You know me, and you are honestly saying that my faith depends on whether I forward a chain letter? Give me a break. It offends me that she would reduce my beliefs into glurge and send me a 'test' like this.

Any forwards she sends me are now deleted and get no reply. I had to restrain myself from sending her a reply about that one, though. "Yes, mother-in-law, that e-mail really did make me stop and think! It made me stop and think you are an idiot!
See you at Christmas,
Love, your daughter-in-law.

[NurseCarmen]

Reply with a parable of your own. Maybe something like:The Next day, the Pastor found the boy taunting a pregnant cat.

"My Son" the pastor said as he called the boy over "Please do not taunt the cat. For can't you plainly see that she is pregnant? She is God's creature, and needs to be treated with love. Why, if I were to rub some holy water on the cat's belly, she will eventually pass kittens".

"That aint nothin" the boy replied. "If I rub turpentine on her asshole, she'll pass a Chevy!"

[Nawth Chucka]

This thread and others like it are not ranting against what a class of people believe; it's ranting against how they *behave*. Do you honestly not see that?
Here's a thought - just like 'Krab' is really cheaper fish meat dressed up to taste and feel like expensive crab, why don't we call these epistle-pushers Kristians? They act like Christians, but inside, where it really counts, well - their hearts are known.

Stiil, the OP doesn't explain the 'little whore' part. Cite?

[Tracy Lord]

Here's a thought - just like 'Krab' is really cheaper fish meat dressed up to taste and feel like expensive crab, why don't we call these epistle-pushers Kristians? They act like Christians, but inside, where it really counts, well - their hearts are known.

I'm particularly partial to "Neo-Pharisees," myself. Following the letter of the law, but not the spirit.

[Hal Briston]

I have to wonder if I started a thread like the hundreds of generalizing anti-Christianity threads on these forums about homosexuals, and specifically because a homosexual asked me out (thus trying to convert me to homosexuality, I could argue) would it be nearly as accepted?

I'll never understand why it's okay to stereotype and defame an entire class of people based on what they believe in one specific area of their life but most other similar classes are protected tooth and nail here.
Simple. Those practicing hate are blasted, those practicing love are defended.