View Full Version : Speaker phones!
07-01-2000, 12:32 PM
Hey all you ass clowns using the speaker phone feature. Stop using it. It is ANNOYING LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER. And when there is a conference call with like 4+ people on the phone and all of you are on speaker phone, it sounds like 8+ people with tourettes sydrome. Pick up the fucking phone talk like a normal person. And if your calling someone using speaker phone and the person you called doesn't say anything about it, yes, it still bothers that person, so stop it now you fucking morons.
07-01-2000, 12:59 PM
Not bad as rants go, I give it a 4.5 on a scale of 1-10.
07-01-2000, 01:56 PM
We have some idiots where I work that just love those speaker phones. These coyote felching pin heads are too lazy to pick up the phone. One of these pin heads is a kangaroo flecher from Australia, trying to understand this festering heap of snake dung is impossible. To top it off, this southern hemisphere chancre will not pick up the telephone receiver because it makes their arm hurt.
There is one way to fight back, I keep telling them I can't understand them and make them repeat everything again and again. When they are really getting frustrated they will either pick up the phone or I ask them to e-mail me with what they are trying to say. Stand fast and they will eventually pick up the frigging phone.
07-01-2000, 02:14 PM
-is -eally- -cking -isses -e -ff -oo!
07-01-2000, 06:00 PM
Nice OP, Farmer. Concise. I like that. I give it a 7. Very good.
I, too, would like to kill everyone with a speaker phone. Especially the ones that LIE when you bring it up.
Me: Turn off that god damn speaker phone, or I swear to the powers that be I'm going to hang up you lazy son of a bitch!
Them: Um, what speaker phone? I don't even have a speaker phone...
Bullshit asshole. I can hear the fucking echoing. Now, turn it off or I'm coming over there and shoving that fucking thing up your felcher loving ass!
07-01-2000, 06:46 PM
People usually think /I am on a speakerphone when i talk to em on my cellphone. it kinda echoes
07-01-2000, 06:48 PM
And the speaker jerks have to repeat everything.
How dumb do you have to be not to notice that you can't both talk and get a clear message. Sometimes the feedback itself fills the whole office.
07-01-2000, 07:54 PM
Aw, come on....if the guy's on the speaker phone, have fun with it! Ask if he still has that painful rectal itch! Tell him that you looked up that "personal rash" he has, and it's highly contagious! Tell him that you want to be "the husband" next time!
In other words, humiliate him into picking up the phone. It's fun!
07-01-2000, 07:59 PM
I had an asshole at work that used to constantly call me on his speakerphone. My consistant reply to each and every statement he made was "What?" "What?" "I can't understand you on the speakerphone." He got so damned frustrated that he finally started calling on the regular phone. What a jerkoff.
07-01-2000, 08:37 PM
I share an office with a fella who always checks his messages on the speaker. He gets tons of calls a day, a vast majority from his wife and friends. He's still at that juvenille phase where the appropriate phone greeting is "pick up the phone ya lousy c*****cking motherf****." He and his friends still roll with laughter over that, even at 5-6 times a day.
That's what I get to listen to. And when he dials into the voicemail, he does it on the speaker as well. "Boop boop boop boop" from the auto dialer, then the whole computerized voice mail thing.
Yeah, I've been polite in asking him to pick up the phone, but he's like a kid. Forgetful and not overly concerned about other people. Thank goodness for headphones and Saint-Saens.
07-01-2000, 09:33 PM
It also helps to swing your phone up, so the mouthpiece is at your forehead and just continue talking as normal, including saying, "I can hear you fine." SpeakerPhone Jerk can't hear YOU and will pick up the phone.
Alternate method: Everytime you talk, rub your finger back and forth across the mouthpiece. Makes a very annoying sound on his end.
Did I mention I also hate speakerphones?
07-02-2000, 01:38 AM
The other day one of our traveling sales 'droids was using the field office across the hall from me who insisted on chatting on speakerphone so he could juggle papers and pick his nose. There is normally a pretty consistent amount of background noise in the office, but it varies.
During a lull, I heard whoever he was talking to say, "His dick will taste like shit". Needless to say, that got my attention. A bunch of us up and down the hall prarie dogged on him. He was quick to explain that was the answer to the question, "How can you tell if your roommate's a fag"? We managed to get him to close the goddam door after that.
07-02-2000, 01:47 AM
My boss checks his vm by speaker phone, too. That's bad enough. What's even worse is that he uses the speaker phone all the time for calls. Well, he's LOUD all the time, but when he uses the speaker phone, he's deafening. God, I hate that.
07-05-2000, 12:40 AM
Everyone here is indeed an asshole, especially the one that made the homophobic comment and the VM people; however, before we all try to destroy all the speakerphones on the plannet, REAL,HIGH QUALITY speaker/confrence phones are bearable. At our office, we have these high pick up phones where you can hear everyone breating. When you have four or five people total on the phone, it sounds like some sort of cheap porno-orgy with mics in the chicks throats faking orgasms. I am not kidding. Speakerphones are a godsend in comparison to this, especially when you can get most people onto one phone.
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