Do you think certain sexual positions are slutty?

[overlyverbose]

I was talking to a friend of mine Friday. (I'm using the term "friend" very loosely here.) She and her husband are trying to have a baby. She mentioned she was irritated that her husband wasn't home yet because they had to have sex right on schedule before dinner, otherwise she couldn't do it for three to four hours, and she would have to wake him up at 4 a.m. Saturday to do it because they have to do it at either 4 a.m. or before dinner (I still can't figure out the 4 a.m. part - I think it has something to do with optimal temperatures for getting pregnant). When I asked why, she said, "If I'm full, it puts too much pressure on my stomach." I thought Hmmm, fair enough, but then made the mistake of saying, "There are tons of positions - perhaps you could try one that doesn't require your husband to lay on top of you."

You'd think I had just told her to try sticking her head in a bucket of shit. She was horrified by the suggestion that she try having sex any other way than missionary. According to her, other positions are slutty, even if you're with your husband. :eek: Even more strange was that having sex prior to marriage wasn't whorish - just certain sexual positions were, though oral sex was an exception and performing oral sex didn't make you slutty. :confused: By now I was thoroughly confused.

So when I mentioned that there were many ways of having sex, and that I'm more than happy to engage in (even, God forbid, encourage) certain...acrobatics...to accommodate both me and my husband, she told me that having sex in any way other than missionary makes me no better than a whore. Needless to say, we probably won't be speaking again.

But the whole conversation was really confusing. I mean, what criteria does one use to come to the conclusion that having sex any other way than missionary is slutty? And how can you justify oral sex if any other position than the man on top is "bad?" Has anyone else experienced this? I'm completely dumbfounded, and amazed - her mom was always very frank about sex, and never told her "nice girls don't do that."

[11811]

You'd think I had just told her to try sticking her head in a bucket of shit.

I can't criticize someone who sticks their head in a bucket of shit during sex, because I've never tried it. But some folks might call that "slutty," :D

[Alice The Goon]

If your sexual positions aren't slutty, then you're not doing it right.
This woman sounds like a dried up old prune, and I wouldn't give her opinions on it a second thought.

[AskNott]

Some folks' ideas are very deep-seated and hard to adjust. If folks like that start out with a short menu, they're stuck with it.

[Vlad/Igor]

It sounds to me like she had to reconcile several different and possibly contradictory ideas, all the while remaining "true" to some other overriding principle or person. I don't think she did it very well, and the result is a weird mish-mash of beliefs with more holes than a colander. The missionary position may be the best for getting pregnant (short of her being upside down on her head - but then that would be slutty in the extreme), but if you want to experiment and possibly derive more pleasure out of sex, I don't see what the problem is. I guess for her, sex is for babies only. Any other pleasure is sinful and wrong.

Pity.

Vlad/Igor

[Jenaroph]

What exactly is it about other positions that's supposed to be slutty? The fact that they can be more pleasurable for the woman than missionary? The fact that in some positions, the woman does more "work" than the man? The idea that it deviates from "the norm" and you just shouldn't do something that's not normal? I don't get it.

I am the anti-slut. I was a 30-year-old virgin, and have only slept with the man I intend to marry. I'd laugh in her sanctimonious face if she tried to tell me I was a slut for using positions other than missionary. God forbid I actually, y'know, enjoy experimenting.

[devilsknew]

Apparently, you are a demonlover and satanist, as well, if you engage in any other style of sex than The Missionary Position (http://apodion.com/vad/article.php?id=25&aid=20).
Sounds prudish and maybe she is not comfortable with sex in general, seems like a hang-up. She probably has bad associations with other sexual positions. Do you think some guy might have done a number on her and made her feel weird about being sexually adventerous?

[Anaamika]

You'd think I had just told her to try sticking her head in a bucket of shit. She was horrified by the suggestion that she try having sex any other way than missionary. According to her, other positions are slutty, even if you're with your husband. :eek: Even more strange was that having sex prior to marriage wasn't whorish - just certain sexual positions were, though oral sex was an exception and performing oral sex didn't make you slutty. :confused: By now I was thoroughly confused.



I think this is a GREAT way to get thoroughly bored of your sex life.

[CynicalGabe]

(I'm using the term "friend" very loosely here.)
hehehehe

What, noone else got the joke?

Tell her to watch The Big Lebowski, theres some good advice on conceiving in there.

[Tranquilis]

Your "friend" would benifit greatly from getting that stick rmoved from her derrier.

"Sluttishness" is determined by how you select your sex partners, not by what you do with them afterwards.

Your "friend" is cheating herself and her husband, IMO, out of a huge slice of what makes up a good marriage

[Dunderman]

This is so sad. Sex can be so great and wonderful and ecstatic, and it's ruined for her because of some weird bullshit some dipshit made up. Everything she, and people like her, are missing out on... it just makes me sad.

[iampunha]

Your "friend" would benifit greatly from getting that stick rmoved from her derrier.

Would probably make doggie-style easier (not to mention anal...)

[Tranquilis]

:: rimshot ::

Not to mention rimjob...


:D

[CrazyCatLady]

Eh, people are weird. I used to have a friend who got all weirded out and repulsed at the idea of people swapping candy back and forth while kissing. It was gross, disgusting, and unsanitary. Thing is, she had no problem giving blowjobs, even to a boyfriend she knew was cheating on her, enjoyed anal sex, and wasn't real fastidious about washing between trysts. (That's how she usually caught him.) She had no problems sticking a dick that had been in someone else's ass without washing afterward in her mouth, but she was all squicked out about a little spit that, if she was doing it right, would be in her mouth anyway. I don't even pretend to have any guesses on that one.

Anyway, some people still have the idea that only sluts are sexually aggressive. And if you're on top, clearly you're the aggressive one. Ergo, if a woman is on top, she's a slut.

[overlyverbose]

The idea that it deviates from "the norm" and you just shouldn't do something that's not normal? I don't get it.

I think this is perhaps her problem. She's also an "anti-slut." The only person she has ever slept with is her husband. I'm thinking that perhaps she thinks other positions are slutty because she's not very comfortable with them, and doesn't have a very good self-image, especially during sex. She's also very controlling, and all sex has to be on her terms, and her terms only. From what she's said, her husband has suggested other positions, but has been shot down every single time. She did have sex before marriage, but that was with her husband, which I think helps her to justify pre-marital sex.

Either way, the whole conversation felt so strange to me. I was tempted to mention I was considering buying my husband porn for Valentine's Day. But I didn't want her to explode. At least not before dinner. ;)

[The Mermaid]

The only positions I consider slutty are the ones I can't do. As in, the balance on my head with my feet on the wall kind of thing. (not that there's anything wrong with that).

She needs to relax and have some honest to Og fun for a change. It would give her a whole new perspective on things.

Also, what's wrong with allowing yourself to be under your partner's total control every once in a while? Huh? Sometimes people have been very very naughty...

[Chefguy]

overlyverbose, it sounds like you've been talking to my ex. After 20 years of once-a-month sex (tops) in the missionary position, and several extramarital affairs (out of frustration), I left her for my much more adventurous and joyous present spouse. It wasn't the only reason for leaving, but it was certainly a large part of the frustration.

[Gassy Man]

Other than some cockeyed religious hangup or bizarre puritannical cultural mishmash, is it possible that she was sexually abused? I've known a couple of women who were, and their view on sex was that A) They had to have absolute control over when and how it occured, and B) Intercourse was a dirty thing, and being conservative about it somehow deflected that notion.

Of course, some sexually abused women are exactly the opposite, but your "friend's" attitude sounds familiar.

[Tapioca Dextrin]

I don't know what a Fuilthy Sanchez is, nor do I want to find out, but I'm fairly sure it's slutty. Maybe.

[betenoir]

What a shame as I've heard doggie style is the best position for getting pregnant. Which might be an old wive's tale, but, then, proabably an old wife who's having more fun in bed than she is.

I guess I could see from behind as being seen as slutty because it's impersonal. Well, I don't think it is but some people see anything not face to face as impersonal. And I guess on top is not demure enough (like that's a good quality to have in bed :D)....but what about the millon onther possiblities? Unless she doesn't know about them.

I think it's interesting how normalized blow jobs have become. It used to be the ultimate slutty act. I guess anal sex is the new blow job...

[JonScribe]

What's wrong with "slutty?"

[Chimpy]

I don't know what a Fuilthy Sanchez is, nor do I want to find out, but I'm fairly sure it's slutty. Maybe.
It goes far beyond slutty, in fact it shares characteristics with the activity involving a bucket described in the OP.

[Muffin]

I pity her poor husband if he didn't know she was so pathetic before he married her.

[Flipstrip]

I feel really sorry for that woman's husband overlyverbose. A repressed partner who refuses to even entertain the thought of love and lust's possiblilities can be incredibly frustrating.

[Muffin]

The only positions I consider slutty are the ones I can't do. As in, the balance on my head with my feet on the wall kind of thing. Try one of these: http://www.teeterhangups.com/products/product-list.html

[Duckster]

I guess mentioning chocolate sauce, strawberries and sex all in the same sentence (and the thought behind all three) is out of the question, eh?

[pokey]

What a shame as I've heard doggie style is the best position for getting pregnant. Which might be an old wive's tale, but, then, proabably an old wife who's having more fun in bed than she is.

I guess I could see from behind as being seen as slutty because it's impersonal. Well, I don't think it is but some people see anything not face to face as impersonal. And I guess on top is not demure enough (like that's a good quality to have in bed :D)....but what about the millon onther possiblities? Unless she doesn't know about them.

I think it's interesting how normalized blow jobs have become. It used to be the ultimate slutty act. I guess anal sex is the new blow job...
I have known a couple of girls who said doggie style was bad because it's like he would rather look at your ass than your face because that way they could daydream about hotter chicks without being distracted.

It doesn't really explain why any other position would be bad though. I think this lady is a nut. Does she have to be in the missionary position to give this non-slutty blowjob too or can she get her ass up in the air for that one? She's nuts.

[aruvqan]

I was tempted to mention I was considering buying my husband porn for Valentine's Day. But I didn't want her to explode. At least not before dinner. ;)

LOL, go for it, might be entertaining=) watching the total brain meltdown of really stuffy peoploe can be fun :D



what? not like I am the only person here who does it now and then

[lavenderviolet]

Strange. I don't agree with her, but on the other hand I don't think this alone is any reason to sever ties with the woman...assuming there havent been other problems with her. A lot of people have irrational hang-ups about sex. If her spouse can tolerate her strange beliefs, why should it bother anyone else?

[AveDementia]

Strange. I don't agree with her, but on the other hand I don't think this alone is any reason to sever ties with the woman...assuming there havent been other problems with her. A lot of people have irrational hang-ups about sex. If her spouse can tolerate her strange beliefs, why should it bother anyone else?

Did you miss the part where this woman said overlyverbose is no better than a whore?

[tremorviolet]

Try one of these: http://www.teeterhangups.com/products/product-list.html

Man, I was fully expecting a link to some incredibly pervy fetish gear type site but it's exercise and health equipment. I'm gonna have to go poke around the Stockroom to make up for it...

[astro]

That scene from the Sopranos where Tony's sister is ramming her mobster boyfriend Raphie up the ass with a furiously buzzing dildo, while she pretends to be his pimp, and Ralphie pretends to be a cheap little "hoo-ar".

That was pretty slutty sexual position.

[danceswithcats]

Mmmm. Sluts.

[Padeye]

I guess anal sex is the new blow job...[Comic Book Guy]Best sig line ever[/CBG]

There is a bit in Terms of Endearment where John Lithgow is bemoaning his wife not having sex with him because "she can't have any weight on her." Debra winger suggest her getting on top but he dismisses it since he's already asked about a hundred times and his wife has refused.

overlyverbose, I think you need to get a few wine coolers in your friend so you can discuss degrees of sluttiness in more detail... then report back to us. If blow jobs aren't slutty does it make a difference in the blower spits or swallows? Is she game for the old pearl necklace or is having your freshly applied coat of Mary Kay soiled by a load of man-goo slutty? ...especially with red lipstick. IMHO I think your friend needs your help. Inside this fridid, repressed woman is a stark raving, drunken spring break bimbo, here's my tits - gimme some Mardi Gras beads, ankles crossed behind her head, clear-heel wearing slut struggling to get out.

In all seriousness if you are right about this being because she has a poor body self image that is a shame. Does she see playboy centerfolds and think she isn't sexually desirable because she doesn't look like that? Hell, they don't look like that in real life. The vast majority of women look nothing like that and they are damn sure desireable.

[Padeye]

But in response to the OP I think doggie style is slutty if it's actually with a dog.

[ouryL]

I was talking to a friend of mine Friday. (I'm using the term "friend" very loosely here.) She and her husband are trying to have a baby. She mentioned she was irritated that her husband wasn't home yet because they had to have sex right on schedule before dinner, otherwise she couldn't do it for three to four hours, and she would have to wake him up at 4 a.m. Saturday to do it because they have to do it at either 4 a.m. or before dinner (I still can't figure out the 4 a.m. part - I think it has something to do with optimal temperatures for getting pregnant). When I asked why, she said, "If I'm full, it puts too much pressure on my stomach." I thought Hmmm, fair enough, but then made the mistake of saying, "There are tons of positions - perhaps you could try one that doesn't require your husband to lay on top of you."

You'd think I had just told her to try sticking her head in a bucket of shit. She was horrified by the suggestion that she try having sex any other way than missionary. According to her, other positions are slutty, even if you're with your husband. :eek: Even more strange was that having sex prior to marriage wasn't whorish - just certain sexual positions were, though oral sex was an exception and performing oral sex didn't make you slutty. :confused: By now I was thoroughly confused.

So when I mentioned that there were many ways of having sex, and that I'm more than happy to engage in (even, God forbid, encourage) certain...acrobatics...to accommodate both me and my husband, she told me that having sex in any way other than missionary makes me no better than a whore. Needless to say, we probably won't be speaking again.

But the whole conversation was really confusing. I mean, what criteria does one use to come to the conclusion that having sex any other way than missionary is slutty? And how can you justify oral sex if any other position than the man on top is "bad?" Has anyone else experienced this? I'm completely dumbfounded, and amazed - her mom was always very frank about sex, and never told her "nice girls don't do that."


"In bed", no. On the street corner, under the street light, yes.

[Shakes]

I'd like to think that even Mrs. Caroline Ingalls did it more way than just the missionary positions. Jeez.

(prehaps doggie style with a ball gag maybe? That Charles can be one twisted Mother F'er)

[WhyNot]

Is it still "missionary" if your knees are up on his shoulders, but you're still lying on your back? Just wonderin'. 'Cause the "missionary" I see in movies, where she's on her back but her legs are more or less straight out and still contacting the bed - never quite got the logistics of that one working for me. Maybe it 'cause I actually have thighs.
Does she have to be in the missionary position to give this non-slutty blowjob too or can she get her ass up in the air for that one?
See, laying on my back with my partner stradling my shoulders while I'm giving him a blowjob (I'm assuming this is what you mean) feels rather "slutty" to me. It also feels like I'm trapped, and uncomfortable for reasons related to my own rape years ago. I much prefer to give a blowjob with the man lying or sitting down.

But I'm well aware that it's my own foible, and I'm sure not going to accuse anyone who enjoys it, or any other consenting activity, of being "no better than a whore."

[betenoir]

But in response to the OP I think doggie style is slutty if it's actually with a dog.


Well that would depend on if you just met the dog or if you were in a committed realtionship.

[betenoir]

I have known a couple of girls who said doggie style was bad because it's like he would rather look at your ass than your face because that way they could daydream about hotter chicks without being distracted.

That does seem to be the thinking. But my goodness. Guys (and girls) can daydream about other people at any point. You have to be pretty insecure to think your lover will forget all about you the second he's not looking right into your face. (Or to put it another way, if you have reason to think that, doggie style may not be the biggest of your problems).

[Shirley Ujest]

If your sexual positions aren't slutty, then you're not doing it right.
This woman sounds like a dried up old prune, and I wouldn't give her opinions on it a second thought.

Well said.

This prune needs to watch that older lady who does the call in sex show on Oxygen or Bravo. It would probably make her :eek:

[Barbarian]

Sue Johansen! (Yet another Canadian nurse corrupting the U.S. with our socialistic health care policies.)

Your friend's bigger problem is that she thinks sex should be limited while trying to get pregnant. I wouldn't be surprised if her husband is deliberately working late, because being forced to have sex on a schedule is one of the few ways possible to make sex dull.

[irishgirl]

Is it possible that this lady's ideas are coming from her husband?
If he is her one-and-only, and presumably was happy enough with their pre-marital sex-life to get married to her, maybe it's HIM who has the "nice girls don't do X" attitude, which has rubbed off on her.

There are some men who while they're happy enough to watch porn where women do all kinds of things wouldn't want any woman "of theirs" doing anything so "slutty".

Trust me, I had an ex boyfriend like that. Talk about your Madonna/Whore complexes!

[calm kiwi]

"Sluttishness" is determined by how you select your sex partners, not by what you do with them afterwards.


"Sluttishness" is determined by what your opinion of a "slut" is. Not how someone else chooses a sexual partner OR what position they adopt.

Slut is one of those transitory words, there is no benchmark slut to judge other sluts on.

A slut is in the eye of the beholder :D

[WhyNot]

A slut is in the eye of the beholder :D
And a jerk cums in the eye of the beholder. :p

[calm kiwi]

Yes some jerks have a lousy aim :D

[archmichael]

IMHO I think your friend needs your help. Inside this fridid, repressed woman is a stark raving, drunken spring break bimbo, here's my tits - gimme some Mardi Gras beads, ankles crossed behind her head, clear-heel wearing slut struggling to get out.


I have to agree with Padeye. When I read the OP, my freak radar read a huge blip. Sounds like someone who probably likes it too much, so she set up some artificial barriers. Probably love it doggy, with hair-tugging and some butt slaps as well.

I guess anal sex is the new blow job... I am going to try to work this into as many casual conversations as I can.

[bob_loblaw]

i think giving a guy you just met a handjob in the corner booth of a bar the other day to be a slutty position, but then i've never claimed that i'm not a slut.

and staring into the camera while taking it doggy style is like the sluttiest of slutty positions, imo.

[Lord Ashtar]

I've never understood this taboo against any position that's not missionary, especially with your spouse. I figure that once you're married, you should be allowed to...um, express your love in any way you wish. Of course, I'm not married so YMMV.

[Shade]

Three pregnant women were talking. The first said "I was on top when I conceived because that means it's going to be a girl." The second said "We were missionary, because that means it's going t be a boy." The third woman said "Oh my god! I'm going to have puppies!"

To take the devil's advocate position for a moment, most people probably have some things they think someone else would be weird for indulging in (eg. Dressing up as Kirk and Spock and slapping each other with Cucumbers listening to the strains of 'Candle in the Wind' not that I've met anyone who likes that...), though they may be polite enough to not to say so to their faces. This woman just has a much much much lower threshhold. Indeed, nearly penultimately low :)

Another thought. I get the impression that there's a stereotype that a husband would often try to persuade his wife to experiment more than she would naturally want, so experimenting becomes associated with 'doing whatever he wants' and froim their to whoredom. I'm not saying that's true, but that it's a common sterotype is enough to perhaps give some insight into her position.

[badmana]

She's pretty strange.

How'd she come up with a 4 am high basal temp? She has no idea how it works. You need to hit her with a fertility book or 3.

Of course she's probably faint from the graphic text and pictures contained in such a book so it probably wouldn't help.

[Jadis]

She had no problems sticking a dick that had been in someone else's ass without washing afterward in her mouth...

Since we don't have a barf smiley, this one will have to do: :eek:

[overlyverbose]

I've never understood this taboo against any position that's not missionary, especially with your spouse. I figure that once you're married, you should be allowed to...um, express your love in any way you wish. Of course, I'm not married so YMMV.

I sort of assumed this, too, for which my husband has told me he is eternally grateful. I figured - well, I'm going to be married to you, hopefully for the rest of my life. Why not make it a free-for-all? It certainly keeps sex more interesting. I've got the option to say no if he does want me to dress up as Spock and slap him with a cucumber (thanks, Shade for that image, by the way), but if there's something he really wants to try that doesn't involve a lot of pain, I'm game.

Upon further reflection, I really don't see anything I do with my husband as whorish, provided he's not peddling me to others. Maybe I just have a really high threshold for kink. Maybe I am a slut. I've never said otherwise, either, but if I am, it's only with my husband.

[Elza B]

I'm not defending this woman because I do think she has some issues, but speaking as someone who was molested and raped as a child, sometimes it is VERY difficult to get past those feelings of guilt about parts of sex. After two years of being with my husband, it's only recently that I've been able to initiate without feeling guilty. It's not that I don't *want* to, it's that I have a panic attack and overwhelming feelings of that seven-year-old guilt that I have trouble stopping. I would never think someone else is slutty, but I have a hard time not seeing MYSELF as a horrible person for wanting sex in a different way.

Luckily, I have an amazing, wonderful, patient husband who has worked on these issues with me, and things have improved ten-fold. They aren't perfect, but I'm finding it's a lot easier to enjoy sex when I don't feel guilty about having it.

E.

[Padeye]

Elza B, you make a good point but I'm not certain it applies here. It would have been one thing if she said, "me on top, I could never do that," but she said that overlyverbose was "no better than a whore" if she would consider bumping uglies in any but the missionary approved position. I could easily be wrong but that makes me lean toward garden variety prude rather than abuse victim.

Your husband sounds like a good man to help you through these things, not all are so lucky. I used to have a platonic friend who said she could never stay friends with anyone she had sex with. I later found that her "solution" was to host gangbang parties where any man who showed up at her hotel room could have her. When I confronted her about how incredibly dangerous this was she just said she was sewing her wild oats. I don't know if she was abused but it wouldn't suprise me.

[TV time]

Well that would depend on if you just met the dog or if you were in a committed realtionship.Then there is the age thing - just how many dog years before you have a consenting adult.

And some breeds are just more slutty than others. I mean, really, have you seen the way some of those poodles move?

[CrazyCatLady]

Since we don't have a barf smiley, this one will have to do: :eek:

Yeah, tell me about it. At least you got by with just hearing the highlights. I got stuck listening to the blow by blow descriptions.

It was pretty funny, though, to see the faces of the guys who absolutely insisted on knowing how she knew for certain he was screwing around. They couldn't just take her word for it that she was certain, or take my word for it that they really didn't want to know. No, they just had to know. And then they got mad at us for telling them, because that was just gross and they didn't ned to know that.

[kidchameleon]

If your sexual positions aren't slutty, then you're not doing it right.
This woman sounds like a dried up old prune, and I wouldn't give her opinions on it a second thought.

Put that in your OK Cupid profile. :-P

[Padeye]

...how she knew for certain he was screwing around. Did this happen more than once? I mean, "let me blow you when your tallywhacker tastes like someone's fudge factory, shame on you. If it happens ten or twelve times I really need to get a clue." Criminy, it's the punchline to a joke.

[Hostile Dialect]

If your sexual positions aren't slutty, then you're not doing it right.

I concur wholeheartedly.

Actually, I don't believe in the concept of 'slutty' or 'slut' or 'whore' or 'tramp' or whatever. Nobody thinks twice about men sleeping around, but a girl decides to have some good clean fun and suddenly she's a slut. I think that's bullshit.

That scene from the Sopranos where Tony's sister is ramming her mobster boyfriend Raphie up the ass with a furiously buzzing dildo, while she pretends to be his pimp, and Ralphie pretends to be a cheap little "hoo-ar".

That was pretty slutty sexual position.

Actually, this is a meme that bothers me as well. It's like people just can't get over the idea of doing anything they wouldn't want their mom to watch. What's so disgusting about a girl topping a man? There's nothing wrong with sticking something in the girl's ass, of course, but the guy's ass is just off limits :rolleyes:.

Is it still "missionary" if your knees are up on his shoulders, but you're still lying on your back? Just wonderin'. 'Cause the "missionary" I see in movies, where she's on her back but her legs are more or less straight out and still contacting the bed - never quite got the logistics of that one working for me. Maybe it 'cause I actually have thighs.

I've done this quite a bit. Body type probably does have something to do with it, and the legs should be opened up at least a little.

Sounds like someone who probably likes it too much

Do people really worry about liking sex too much? That's horrible. Sex should be a wonderful thing for both partners.

[StGermain]

Interesting enough, I was recently reading a book on Catholic moral theology. The author, a priest, said that there are no positions (in sex that has the potential of conception) that are wrong or bad, and no place that sex must be limited to, speaking to married couples, of course. So the Church still says that anal sex and blow jobs are out, but you could do it standing on your head out in the woods if you want and that's perfectly fine.

StG

[The Great Sun Jester]

She probably has bad associations with other sexual positions. Do you think some guy might have done a number on her and made her feel weird about being sexually adventerous?
I was thinking this very thing. Folks are not likely to talk to you about rapes, even less so to talk about date rapes, especially if they feel partly to blame (because they allowed themselves to get drunk, etc). But no matter how she might feel about the actual event (if this is even the case) she may feel weird about sex and not even know exactly why.

In any event, she's allowed to have her own views about sex, and you are not entitled to understand where those views come from unless you're her partner. She could have been a little more sensitive about how she descrbes positions other than Missionary, but she's not the only one passing judgement on this verbal exchange: OP has no right to consider her "weird" any more than we should consider people who worship an unseen diety who refuses to manifest himself while demanding complete obedience and unconditional love despite having endowed us all with the ability to doubt...or something.

Get off her back. She doesn't like that.

[Othersider]

So when I mentioned that there were many ways of having sex, and that I'm more than happy to engage in (even, God forbid, encourage) certain...acrobatics...to accommodate both me and my husband, she told me that having sex in any way other than missionary makes me no better than a whore. Needless to say, we probably won't be speaking again.
She's free to have her own views on sex, and she's even free to think everyone who disagrees with her is wrong. But I think drawing a comparison between you and a harlot based on the position in which you have sex with your husband is most definitely out of line.

[bdandhr]

I agree with othersider - she should not be trying to "put" her opinions on others. Whatever feels good, feels good. And in the context of a one-on-one relationship, outside of abuse or murder, who else should care?

She's weird. Period.

[bdandhr]

that should have been othersider

[Gfab912]

It sounds to me like she had to reconcile several different and possibly contradictory ideas, all the while remaining "true" to some other overriding principle or person. I don't think she did it very well, and the result is a weird mish-mash of beliefs with more holes than a colander. The missionary position may be the best for getting pregnant (short of her being upside down on her head - but then that would be slutty in the extreme), but if you want to experiment and possibly derive more pleasure out of sex, I don't see what the problem is. I guess for her, sex is for babies only. Any other pleasure is sinful and wrong.

Pity.

Vlad/Igor
I would agree with with all of this statement except the last part... "I guess for her, sex is for babies only". I never heard anyone getting pregnant from oral sex! Peace.

[SlyFrog]

In response to the OP:

Yes, if done well.

[danceswithcats]

Interesting enough, I was recently reading a book on Catholic moral theology. The author, a priest, said that there are no positions (in sex that has the potential of conception) that are wrong or bad, and no place that sex must be limited to, speaking to married couples, of course. So the Church still says that anal sex and blow jobs are out, but you could do it standing on your head out in the woods if you want and that's perfectly fine.

StG

That would explain the Catholic couple in line at Genuardi's the other day. :p

[CrazyCatLady]

Did this happen more than once? I mean, "let me blow you when your tallywhacker tastes like someone's fudge factory, shame on you. If it happens ten or twelve times I really need to get a clue." Criminy, it's the punchline to a joke.

It happened two or three times, and I know that at least one of those times it was coochie juice rather than ass funk, but I really don't know as that makes it any better. And this was while they were engaged, fercryinoutloud.

[DougC]

- - - There are no slutty sexual positions, at least none that I can think of.
Oh wait--well, there is the one.
Getting green fuzz on the back of yer head from lying on the pool table at 2:00 AM on dollar-longneck night. That's pretty slutty.
~

[Askia]

"Sluttishness" is determined by how you select your sex partners, not by what you do with them afterwards. I somewhat agree, until I considered that "sluttishness" also factors in a lot with what a woman or man allows to have happen to them sexually. If there's little or nothing that's off-limits, makes you uncomfortable, or that you consider private, that's EXTREME slutty behavior. Not healthy, not sexy, not safe. For my money, anything that involves overt humilation, degradation, inflicting wounds and uses fecal matter would be right up there on the list.

I think we can all agree that some sexual behavior isn't emotionally, mentally or spiritually healthy, irrespective of whether its homosexual or heterosexual, or involves multiple partners or even inventive masturbation. A little slutty behavior -- as with a little prudishness -- goes a long way. "Moderation in everything."

[Ooner]

I don't know what a Fuilthy Sanchez is, nor do I want to find out, but I'm fairly sure it's slutty. Maybe.

Then don't click this link to an amusing depiction (http://www.bonkgo.com/sanchez.html) (Cartoon but probably NSFW)

[Padeye]

Why don't southern baptists make nasty standing up?
People might think they're dancing

[flodnak]

I can't think of any sexual positions I'd call slutty unless the description ends in "...in front of a live studio audience".

She might change her mind when she finally does get pregnant, and discovers that having hubby on top can be uncomfortable even without a full meal beforehand.

[Evil Captor]

I have thought long and hard about sexual positions, and I have come to the conclusion that it is GOOD to think long and hard about sexual positions, and that none is sluttier than any other, if it's a position that actually permits sexual intercourse.

Nonetheless, I will consider this matter further.

[overlyverbose]

I have thought long and hard about sexual positions, and I have come to the conclusion that it is GOOD to think long and hard about sexual positions, and that none is sluttier than any other, if it's a position that actually permits sexual intercourse.

Nonetheless, I will consider this matter further.

Perhaps you'll have to experiment on a willing participant in order to come to a conclusion. ;)

Good luck!

[Green Bean]

Why don't southern baptists make nasty standing up?
People might think they're dancingGah, you beat me to it! Except the version I know involves a nice young ultra-orthodox Jewish couple who go to a premarital counseling session with their Rabbi. He brings up the touchy subject of sex, and assures them that having sex with your spouse is a mitzvah, a good deed. Married couples are supposed to have sexual intercourse, and enjoy it too!

A few months later, the young husband nervously asks the Rabbi if he can speak to him. He's so red-faced and stammering, that he can't even get the words out. The Rabbi finally figures out that the young man wants to talk about sex. He asks him "So, things are not going so well in the bedroom?"
The young man says "Just the opposite! It's great!"
The Rabbi says "Good! Be fruitful and multiply. But what did you want to ask?"
The young man is too mortified to answer. The Rabbi reassures him that he's been a Rabbi for a long time, and he's heard everything.
Finally, the young husband blurts out, "Is it okay if we do it with my wife on top?"
The Rabbi laughs and says "Yes, yes! It's just fine!"
The young man then shyly asks, "well, what about side-by side?"
The Rabbi says "Certainly."
The young man, emboldened, asks "Doggy style?"
"If you like."
"Standing up?"
"Absolutely not!"
Shocked, the young man asks "But why not?
"It might lead to dancing."

Disclaimer--While it's true that ultra-orthodox adults don't touch or dance with members of the opposite sex unless they're married to them, I have no idea if a married couple is actually forbidden from dancing with each other. It's a joke, okay? ;j