Gold from lead.

[antechinus]

Sirs, I would like to convert pencil lead to gold bullion. Does anyone has quick ideas how to do this.

So if any one has ideas please send them here (joke silly) with your bank account details.

[Dvorak]

the only way to turn lead onto gold is to take 3 protons out of the lead somehow (along with excess neutrons and electrons so the gold does not become unstable). How to do that, I do not know. Of course you could just build gold from scratch (use an atom smasher and its magnetic field to separate the protons fom the neutrons and electrons ) and then once you have collected 79 protons clump them together with magnets again, along with the neutrons and electrons; and a single gold atom should form.

[Dvorak]

oh, ha ha. NOW I look at the link. (by the way the link does not work for me)

[Keapon Laffin]

oh, ha ha. NOW I look at the link. (by the way the link does not work for me)
Yeah, same here. Linky doesn't work.

It might be simply to turn pencil lead into diamonds. Maybe compressing the carbon?
* scratches head

[Dvorak]

if you can turn your cremated relatives/pets into diamond, graphite should be cake.

[bob_loblaw]

and you could sell that diamond to buy gold.



...where's my cut?

[Tapioca Dextrin]

Of course you can't turn a single pencil lead into a bar of gold. Conservation of mass 'n' all that. If you had maybe 10,000 pencil leads, no problem. 10,000 pencil leads would be to expensive for me to buy, so if someone could send me the cash to buy some (say $5 per pencil), my experiments can begin. :dubious:

[CynicalGabe]

Of course you can't turn a single pencil lead into a bar of gold.


You can't? F*** that sh*t then! :D

[DocCathode]

Sirs, I would like to convert pencil lead to gold bullion. Does anyone has quick ideas how to do this.

So if any one has ideas please send them here (joke silly) with your bank account details.

You are proceeding from two false assumptions, one small, and one large.

Pencils do not contain lead. They contain graphite, mixed with clay and other things.

Second, you assume that the prima materia is lead. While that idea is rather popular, it is unsupported by alchemical evidence, and contradicted by the transmutation theory.

For, it takes four stages to make the the philosopher's stone.

Negredo, the blackening.

In this stage, the materia rots and blackens.

Alfredo, the whitening

The rot stops, and what is left is purified.

The peacock's tail

You started with one thing. Now, you have many things. Myriad paths and possibilities lie before you. But, only one path leads to the stone.

Rubedo.

In the final stage, the materia grows red as the rising sun.

Some say that ingesting the elixir of life causes your nails and teeth to fall out, only to grow back stronger. These people are fools.

Some say that the whole of alchemy is but a metaphor. They claim that the transmutation of lead to gold is not to be taken literally, but represents the elevation of man from the material to the spiritual. These people are also fools.

Some people shall tell you that one can become immortal via a strange process involving a pair of rubber gloves and a rubber band. These people stand at the gateway to wisdom.

[Kolak of Twilo]

antechinus Sirs, I would like to convert pencil lead to gold bullion. Does anyone has quick ideas how to do this.

Hello greeting sir/madam,

Me are Kolak in Twilo. I have need for help for government change occur whereby wealth is optimum chance you have. Through revolutionary I am powered to recover much gold boullion in tiny cubes held by former dictator. At my discretion to dispurse to who me want for help. Send me way to transfer walnuts to you me give you 70% for help. Contact me with account from bank information.

Much thanks for Jesus sake.

you alllll gotta get this. or not?

[Kolak of Twilo]

So if any one has ideas please send them here (joke silly) with your bank account details.

I forgot to include this obvious clue.


Bank account details? C'mon. None of you did that with the crazy person in Lithuania/Bulgaria/Nigeria/Whereverthufukistan

Did you?!?

[Kolak of Twilo]

oh man did I mess that up or what?

Any Mod wanna help me and fix it?

I am dumb, exuberant and new. :smack:

[Ogre]

Yeah, we got it. We got it. Nigeria scam. Gooooot it. :)

[Uvula Donor]

oh man did I mess that up or what?

Any Mod wanna help me and fix it?

I hope not. We want to point at you and laugh, just like everyone did to us when we were dumb, exuberant and new.

[Anonymous Coward]

Can this gold then be used to increase the octane of petrol? In my home??

[Colophon]

I think there's a chap over in GQ you should talk to... might be difficult though, as his threads kepp getting locked.

[Ponder Stibbons]

I hope not. We want to point at you and laugh, just like everyone did to us when we were dumb, exuberant and new.
Yea, sorry kid, it's part of the initiation ritual. Don't worry, though, you're almost through. Although I gotta admit the next part with the goat is not going to be pleasant.

[Maus Magill]

Yea, sorry kid, it's part of the initiation ritual. Don't worry, though, you're almost through. Although I gotta admit the next part with the goat is not going to be pleasant.

At least for the goat.

[Ponder Stibbons]

Actually, I may be mistaken. It appears Kolak of Twilo has already been introduced to the goat (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=5740715&postcount=4). With walnuts even. Ooooooo, that had ta hurt.







Well, at least for the goat, as Maus so kindly pointed out. :)

[Fuji Kitakyusho]

Most modern pencil "lead" is actually graphite powder sintered in a clay matrix.

[antechinus]

DocCathode - an interesting proposition.

This alchemy of which you speak, with its transmutation, rubedo and the like - will it allow me to convert standard, unleaded motor vehicle engine fuel to 110 octane? Or is leaded fuel required?


Tapioca Dextrin - Your reasoning is sound. If we can get our hands on enough of those old-timey lead pencils, a non-ferrous scrap merchant will buy the Pb for US$1000/tonne.

[Cervaise]

This alchemy of which you speak, with its transmutation, rubedo and the like - will it allow me to convert standard, unleaded motor vehicle engine fuel to 110 octane? Or is leaded fuel required?Depends. Do you want it in tablet form?

[antechinus]

Depends. Do you want it in tablet form?

Now your talking. Water soluble tablets.

[Wesley Clark]

I remember learning in a chemistry course that you can convert among protons, neutrons and electrons. That is how they get plutonium 239 out of uranium 238. I do not know if you can get gold out of lead though. Walmart may carry a nuclear reactor kit in the toy section next to the toy chemistry sets. Or you can build your own, I saw some plans in the back of popular science.