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Cat Whisperer
01-21-2005, 02:42 PM
Judging from my irritableness.

Let's start with bus drivers. I will yield to you when you turn your signal on that you need to get back into traffic. Honest to god, I will. I can't yield to you, however, when you turn your signal on just as I'm at your tail end, and then you start coming into traffic the second you hit the signal. Don't expect me to do a brake-stand to allow you back into traffic.

Television. Oh, television. You had so much potential. What happened to you? Did you fall in with the wrong crowd?

Corporate radio. Blech.

Canadian politics. American politics, for that matter. I'm tired of all of it. We all know that the only agenda any politician has once elected is getting re-elected. Any governing that actually happens in that time is either an accident or done by someone else.

Cold weather. Tired of you. Snowy, slippery sidewalks. Tired of you, too. I want warm, green days.

Lord Ashtar
01-21-2005, 02:45 PM
What's with all the people I work with who sit on their asses all day and then take the elevator up or down one floor?

Take the stairs, you lazy fuckers.

Banquet Bear
01-21-2005, 02:49 PM
What's with all the people I work with who sit on their asses all day and then take the elevator up or down one floor?

Take the stairs, you lazy fuckers.

...sorry. :(

lizardling
01-21-2005, 02:51 PM
People who deliberately speed up to stop me merging onto the freeway ahead of them. I nearly got smushed this morning by some stupid woman that way. Thanks a bunch, lady.

Kyla
01-21-2005, 02:51 PM
I'm pissed at:

*Lou Malnati's for adding half a cup of oil to their Pasta Fresca. The first time I had it I thought it was a mistake, but now it's twice, so this is clearly intentional. WHY? Pasta sitting in a pool of oil is not that good.

*muddy slush.

*my coworker from LA who constantly whines about the weather and how much she hates it here in general. Did someone force you to move here? STFU! (When you get her on other topics, she's really nice, actually.)

*the anonymous troll on LJ. If you don't know what I'm talking about, trust me, you're better off. This could be a real rant, but I don't want to give these (this?)fuckwad(s) any more attention than this mini-rant.

There's more. Oh yes, there's more. But I'll stop now.

UrbanChic
01-21-2005, 02:52 PM
What's with all the people I work with who sit on their asses all day and then take the elevator up or down one floor?Aw, I actually feel bad about this. Sometimes, though, I need to get to my NOC in a hurry. I have an 'express route' that allows me to be seen by the least amount of people. The more people I see, the more prone I am to stupid, time-wasting questions/comments. Unfortunately, it does include me taking the elevator up one floor. Until my cloak of invisibility comes in, it is what it is.

Squink
01-21-2005, 02:59 PM
What's up with large towns (190K) that don't have anyplace which sells 1/8" copper or silver sheet metal? If I wanted to be cut off from the benefits of civilization, I'd live in the damned boonies. At least there I could build a forge in my back yard, and hammer the stuff out myself. -Or, like I'm going to have to do anyway, go online and order some, for delivery in 3 weeks! :mad:

Cat Whisperer
01-21-2005, 03:02 PM
<snip>*my coworker from LA who constantly whines about the weather and how much she hates it here in general. Did someone force you to move here? STFU! (When you get her on other topics, she's really nice, actually.)
<snip>
We get that in Calgary all the time, from people who moved here from Vancouver and/or Toronto. Yes, it's flatter here. No, there aren't nearly as many trees here. No, there aren't any decent lakes nearby. The city's full - if you don't like it, go back where ya came from.

butter pie
01-21-2005, 03:09 PM
I pit taxes. God I fucking hate doing taxes. I've been doing small business taxes since 2001. I'm pretty sure now I know what I'm doing. I keep good records and document everything, so I guess if I get audited, I get audited and hope for the best.

Everytime I see one of those politicos on TV talking about starting up the Great American Small Business or some nonsense, I get so angry. Running a business is risky, but anybody can do it, yeah. It's a great way to work your way up. But they effing KILL you with paperwork before you can even get yourself off the ground. Supposedly I'm supposed to start filing expected-earnings quarterly, but damned if I know what or how to do that, or if anyone actually TOLD me for sure I need to. When am I supposed to have time, if I'm actually running the business?! I'm only one person!! After I get my return for this year done I'm going to try to find a plain-language book to understand the quarterly thing, at the library. The way they talk about people starting up businesses, you'd think it was as easy as some five year old sitting on the corner selling lemonade. Grr!!

I shouldn't have to PAY someone to be able to figure this out, and I can't now anyway because I don't make enough money to justify it. I've had enough growth every year since '01 to make it worth doing whatever I can to not just fold and give up, but they sure don't make it easy!

AncientHumanoid
01-21-2005, 03:13 PM
What's up with large towns (190K) that don't have anyplace which sells 1/8" copper or silver sheet metal? If I wanted to be cut off from the benefits of civilization, I'd live in the damned boonies. At least there I could build a forge in my back yard, and hammer the stuff out myself. -Or, like I'm going to have to do anyway, go online and order some, for delivery in 3 weeks! :mad:


Are you the guy building the 18' tall flame throwing mech-man?

No?

Bummer.




I hate it when the one movie I want to see is only available in my neighbourhood video store on VHS and not the DVD I know is out there. Even worse, is the amount of old movies NOT ON DVD AT ALL!



I hate it when talking animals address me by my first name. How improper!

the Lady
01-21-2005, 03:17 PM
Let's start with bus drivers. I will yield to you when you turn your signal on that you need to get back into traffic. Honest to god, I will. I can't yield to you, however, when you turn your signal on just as I'm at your tail end, and then you start coming into traffic the second you hit the signal. Don't expect me to do a brake-stand to allow you back into traffic.

Preach it sister! This happens to me about once a week - it's a very common occurance on Bow Trail - where I drive twice a day.

Jadis
01-21-2005, 03:25 PM
There is no "O" in recurring. Not when you say it, and not when you spell it. Just.....no.

:mad:

Dead Badger
01-21-2005, 03:27 PM
To the workmen in our house:

You painted my toothbrush, dammit. Gloss white!

Wankers.

The Devil's Grandmother
01-21-2005, 03:28 PM
Answer the question I asked you, not the ones echoing in your head from the voices. Please.
Why are the books I want so fucking expensive? $350? I know lots of people who would buy it for $100, so just drop the price already!
Just lay down and put out will you? It’s been a freaking month. Is there something wrong with you? With me? With us? Just give it up already!
Stop acting like I’m in charge. I’m not. I used to be and I gave up that job because I hated it. So stop asking me what’s happening. I don’t know and it’s not my decision anymore.
Ditto on the bus thing.

Kyla
01-21-2005, 03:29 PM
Oh yeah.

I have to cross a busy street where people are turning at the same time I have the walk signal every day. The other day someone fucking HONKED at me while I was crossing the street.

Fuck you, asshole. I have the right of way. Don't fucking honking at me for crossing the fucking street. Fucker.

Kyla
01-21-2005, 03:30 PM
Oh yeah.

I have to cross a busy street where people are turning at the same time I have the walk signal every day. The other day someone fucking HONKED at me while I was crossing the street.

Fuck you, asshole. I have the right of way. Don't fucking honk at me for crossing the fucking street. Fucker.

Kyla
01-21-2005, 03:31 PM
And fuck, I double posted. God damnit.

Lord Ashtar
01-21-2005, 03:33 PM
Another thing. I'm sick and tired of those fuckers who double post! Hit the submit button once. Just once!

Fuckers. ;)

Anaamika
01-21-2005, 03:36 PM
Cold weather. Tired of you. Snowy, slippery sidewalks. Tired of you, too. I want warm, green days.

waa. i'm in full agreement.

BobLibDem
01-21-2005, 03:40 PM
This might be too lame even for this thread- but the graphics on FOX football coverage drives me batty. The culprit is the clock at the top of the screen. It appears to be center-justified, fixed width. What that leads to is when the clock goes from 8:12 to 8:11, you see a shimmy in the display as the 8 enlarges slightly and moves marginally to the left because the width of 8:11 is less that that of 8:12. Then you see another shimmy as the clock goes from 8:11 to 8:10, as the 8 gets slightly smaller and shifts a bit to the right to accomodate the extra width of the 2 vs the 1. It happens every 10 seconds as it makes the 2,1,0 pattern. Even if I'm focused on the play, that silly little shimmy of the clock every ten seconds breaks my concentration every time.

swampbear
01-21-2005, 03:41 PM
*Lou Malnati's for adding half a cup of oil to their Pasta Fresca.

This is just gross! Pasta with Fresca in it and you eat it? And then have the balls to complain about a little oil in it too? What the hell's wrong with you Kyla?


What?

Pasta Fresca is what? Really?


Ok then, carry on.

Annie-Xmas
01-21-2005, 03:44 PM
To the idjit who, after I told them I would not do something for them after working all day, called my supervisor and told her to tell me to do it.

Like that really helped your cause. :wally

vibrotronica
01-21-2005, 03:46 PM
Attention city of Memphis: Learn to fucking drive. Pay attention. Concentrate.

Please?

Rufus Xavier
01-21-2005, 03:47 PM
Here's my rant about the buidling where I work: I work on the third floor, and I would happily walk down the stairs to exit, except all stairways lead to either emergency-only exits or an exit into a busy alleyway that has no room for pedestrians to walk. I would even happily walk up the stairs in the morning, except you cannot access any of the stairwells from outside. Meanwhile, the elevator inspection certificates expired a year ago. AUUUUUGH!!!!!!!!!!!

JerH
01-21-2005, 04:43 PM
Dear Spammers,

Writing "This is not spam" at the end of your message does not, in fact, change the fact that it is.

Sincerely,
JerH

Kyla
01-21-2005, 04:55 PM
Why can't my loan officers give me a file with all their documents facing the same goddamn way? That's what I want to know. Did they fucking fail kindergarten? They give me files with all these bullshit pieces of random paper in no discernable order, and then when I tidy them up, I realize that half the documents belong to another borrower! Do you even look at what you're doing?

The Devil's Grandmother
01-21-2005, 04:57 PM
Sun and clocks, move faster. It cannot possibly not be 4pm yet.

DoctorJ
01-21-2005, 05:08 PM
Ice Cube: How can you go from "when I'm called off, I've got a sawed-off/squeeze the trigger, and bodies are hauled off" to the insipid family comedy opening this weekend that you seem to be starring in?

Are you feeling that breeze? That's Eazy-E spinning in his grave.

Cosmopolitan
01-21-2005, 05:11 PM
Dearest Darling Pupils,

I'm sure that you've been told since September to either spit out your gum upon entry into the classroom or to chew it so quietly that we teachers can, in good conscience, ignore it. It is now January - heading rapidly for February - and some of you still haven't grasped the concept.

I say to you darlings who cannot seem to chew gum in a non-disruptive manner (Who knew one could chew gum disruptively?): SPIT. THE GUM. OUT. WHEN YOU ENTER THE CLASSROOM.

Jayn_Newell
01-21-2005, 05:15 PM
Dear university,

I know you feel you should help your students get home at night safely. In fact, I think it is a very noble effort, and I especially love that you provide a nice, heated, free shuttle service considering the temperatures and snow.

However, having that shuttle run every 55 minutes is just stupid. I actually like the class that I have to leave early from to catch the shuttle, as the best alternative is to wait nearly an hour for the next one. How about having it run just after classes get out all night, and not just for the first two runs?

vibrotronica
01-21-2005, 05:23 PM
I don't give a bloody shit about who Donald Trump is sticking his teeny little dick into.

World Eater
01-21-2005, 05:26 PM
Ice Cube: How can you go from "when I'm called off, I've got a sawed-off/squeeze the trigger, and bodies are hauled off" to the insipid family comedy opening this weekend that you seem to be starring in?

Are you feeling that breeze? That's Eazy-E spinning in his grave.

I was thinking the same thing about Snoop. 187 on an undercover cop to Soul Plane?

Ephemera
01-21-2005, 05:26 PM
Oh yeah.

I have to cross a busy street where people are turning at the same time I have the walk signal every day. The other day someone fucking HONKED at me while I was crossing the street.

Fuck you, asshole. I have the right of way. Don't fucking honk at me for crossing the fucking street. Fucker.

Trust me.. it's better than the alternative. :)

DiosaBellissima
01-21-2005, 05:35 PM
I pit my Chipotle chicken fajita burrito for being so damned tasty and making me want another. I pit my stomach for not being able to fit two.

Annie
01-21-2005, 05:55 PM
The non humaniod telemarketing mechanical goat felchers who leave messages on my cellphone,necessitating my spending a buck to delete that offer of cheap real estate in Orlando. Being that the NHTMGF is indeed a recording, it doesn't appreciate my bellowing "Boil your testicles in a cassoulet!"

Further mini-rent: cellphone provider does not offer a 'reject all blocked numbers' feature.

ZipperJJ
01-21-2005, 06:11 PM
Dear P--- S----
What the FUCK kind of business do you run that you need all these new domain names right away, one (or more) of your three accounts with us has its credit card declined each month, and once a year you change your business name? I was really hoping I'd do a bad job at convincing you to stay with us when you wanted to go with another company. I was THIS CLOSE to saying "awesome. see ya later!"

Hey D--
WTF dude? Do you like me or no? I know you're 'quiet' but it's kind of hard to read your mind. Should I save a spot in my schedule for ya or no? We're in our mid-twenties, we've gone out 4 times - yet why is everything still so formal? Stop being quiet and let me fuck you already.

Mom -
Really. I am working. I work till 5. I know I work at home. I know I am just sitting here. I know. But I work till 5. Hooray for you that you get off at 3:30. I do not. I work till 5.

Jackmannii
01-21-2005, 06:14 PM
To the workmen in our house:

You painted my toothbrush, dammit. Gloss white!

Wankers.You wanted matte?

Jayn_Newell
01-21-2005, 06:30 PM
I think I'll add one for some people I know. Not something I've ever run into, but maybe I can fight ignorance at the same time :)

Those people are from Cape Sable Island. No, that's not where the horses are. That's just Sable Island. No 'Cape'. See the difference?

mojave66
01-21-2005, 06:33 PM
Dear Good Friends Who Are Bonking Each Other:

Love ya both, glad you're getting some, but precisely how many times do I have to ask you to knock of the sex talk in front of me? Since you've started your torrid affairette, it's been EVERY GODDAMN TIME I SEE ONE OR BOTH OF YOU despite the fact that I ask-- politely!-- to please not do that in front of me for very understandable, not-prude, non-judgemental reasons. Next time, I politely ask, it's gonna be followed by a hard whack with a 2x4. Thank you.

lizardling
01-21-2005, 07:00 PM
Cow orkers who need extremely specific and clear instructions on how to Get Things Done.

Exchange:

"Hey, I can't find File X any more! It's not in Directory Y!"

"Well, you could try, I don't know, searching the entire tree. Who knows, that might even work."

Anaamika
01-21-2005, 07:10 PM
Everytime I see one of those politicos on TV talking about starting up the Great American Small Business or some nonsense, I get so angry. Running a business is risky, but anybody can do it, yeah. It's a great way to work your way up. But they effing KILL you with paperwork before you can even get yourself off the ground. Supposedly I'm supposed to start filing expected-earnings quarterly, but damned if I know what or how to do that, or if anyone actually TOLD me for sure I need to. When am I supposed to have time, if I'm actually running the business?! I'm only one person!! After I get my return for this year done I'm going to try to find a plain-language book to understand the quarterly thing, at the library. The way they talk about people starting up businesses, you'd think it was as easy as some five year old sitting on the corner selling lemonade. Grr!!


Oh yeah. Work anywhere from 16-20 hours a day, and then go home and do the books. The curse of business.

Anaamika
01-21-2005, 07:12 PM
Trust me.. it's better than the alternative. :)

Oh jeez. :smack: I feel bad, and it wasn't even me who said the original comment.

Aesiron, you sure seem to be keeping a good humor about all of this.

Dead Badger
01-21-2005, 07:20 PM
You wanted matte?
I was thinking a sort of stippled effect in peach, really. Gives the brush a mediterranean vibe.

Today, they gently spackled everything in the kitchen with small spots of matt white paint having done the ceiling apparently on a whim. When we pointed out that it was traditional to put sheets down, they replied that they'd covered our stereo with a bin bag. Bless. Fortunately, my unicycle turns out to be non-stick.

Also, grout is not supposed to attach itself to your feet, right? Right? I wish our landlady would take a "paying more now saves you later" approach to workmen...

World Eater
01-21-2005, 07:56 PM
I wish our landlady would take a "paying more now saves you later" approach to workmen...

Oh she will, later, after she learns from your current situation.

Odinoneeye
01-21-2005, 08:06 PM
There are two things you need to know.

1. You've been here a year and a half, you NEED TO LEARN YOUR JOB

2. I am not your supervisor. In fact, the only reason I'm still in this department is because they're waiting to hire someone else and train us for the new job together.

So. I really don't want to hear you call me across the room to help with your problem that A. Is probably something you should know how to do and 2. Your supervisor, whos job it is to help you, is sitting right there.

Yes, I know you don't get a long with her, yes I know you're an idiot, but neither of those things are my fault. You need to let me do my own work.

Sat on Cookie
01-21-2005, 08:35 PM
Dear Parents,

Please shut the fuck up with your unsolicited advice. If I didn't ask you, it means I don't care what you have to say on the subject. Listen closely: Your constant insistance that I should disregard my doctor's advice because you know better makes me want to construct a creepy doll with your likeness and stick it with pins.

I remain puzzled as to why every obnoxious thing your kid does prompts you to say "just wait...you'll have your turn."

And if I hear one more fucking time about how we're never going to get any sleep, I'll spit up on you.

Eureka
01-21-2005, 08:46 PM
Mom,
I'm thrilled for you that getting a professional bra fitting was such a wonderful experience for you, really I am. One of these days I may even get one done myself. In the meantime, I needed new bras, they were on sale, and I picked a few up. Nagging me about getting a professional fitting makes me want to roll my eyes, not call for an appointment.

Bra shopping in general. I am a 38C. That's too big to want padding, too small to need a minimizer. I don't like underwires.

If there exists a 38C which doesn't have excessive padding, minimizing tendencies, excessive quantities of fabric or an underwire, I didn't find it the other day.

butter pie
01-21-2005, 09:32 PM
Oh yeah. Work anywhere from 16-20 hours a day, and then go home and do the books. The curse of business.

At least they raised the maximum expenditures to use the C-EZ, instead of the Schedule C, from $2500 to $5000 this year. That will at least cut an extra hour or so off filling out all my damn paperwork. :p

Ephemera
01-21-2005, 11:23 PM
Oh jeez. :smack: I feel bad, and it wasn't even me who said the original comment.

Aesiron, you sure seem to be keeping a good humor about all of this.

The irony of my moving here to be a caretaker and now being disabled and reliant on my employer and her husband for simple necessities like washing clothes and having food to eat is pretty funny and I'm otherwise okay so why not laugh about it?

All things considered, I'm doing a hell of a lot better than some.

Silver Fire
01-22-2005, 12:06 AM
Further mini-rent: cellphone provider does not offer a 'reject all blocked numbers' feature.
My old Motorola (v120, IIRC) had a feature on the phone itself that allowed me to only accept calls from numbers in my phonebook. It worked well since anyone who would call me anyway was programmed in there. I haven't checked my current phone (Audiovox something or other) to see if it has a similar feature.

To my beloved fellow Dopers: Stop quoting the entire fucking OP in your replies. We know what you're talking about; we all read the same OP, right? Knock it off. This goes double if you're the first to reply, triple if the OP is longer than whatever it is you have to offer. STOP IT. I just read a thread that had a ten paragraph OP. Down around reply number 30, some... poster quoted the whole big thing and typed a TWO SENTENCE reply. What the fuck, seriously? WHAT THE FUCK? The real bitch of it is, neither of those sentences had much of anything to do with the OP at all and, IMO, would have worked better as a reply to a completely different (and much shorter) post. Even without a quote the post would have made perfect sense in the thread and I really don't think the other participants would have spent much time scratching their heads thinking, "Gosh, I just can't seem to work out who the fuck this person is responding to..." I ask again, what the fuck?

It's been building up for a bit now. :p

susan_foster
01-22-2005, 12:13 AM
Driver - you see that long line of cars? We aren't waiting in line for our health - don't come up in the other lane and pull an "oops...wrong lane!" That dog won't hunt.

Telemarketers - stop calling and hanging up when my machine comes on - the dial tone on my machine is annoying as all get out.

Susan

CanvasShoes
01-22-2005, 03:22 AM
We get that in Calgary all the time, from people who moved here from Vancouver and/or Toronto. Yes, it's flatter here. No, there aren't nearly as many trees here. No, there aren't any decent lakes nearby. The city's full - if you don't like it, go back where ya came from.
Could be she moved because of her husband or SO? My mom did, when we were kids. She hated Alaska, having been raised in nice warm SoCal. The ironic thing is, that she's the one who ended up staying and retiring from the muni and my dad moved outside 20 years before mom ever did.

Maybe your coworker will eventually get used to it? Or at least run out of whines?

Anyway, speaking of buses and elevators, (someone has probably already mentioned these, but........

On elevators. People! Do you MIND if we get OFF of the elevator on our floor before you start crowding your way on?

Buses: The sign says "exit rear door", so don't give US a dirty look as we're getting on the front door as we're supposed to, and you're getting off and we're not letting you. No! See, the whole idea is that you're getting off of the bus through the rear door at the same time other people are getting on the front. VERY convenient and timesaving for everyone, if you pay attention!!! Grrrrrrrrrr

look!ninjas
01-22-2005, 09:47 AM
It's cold. It's cold. So cold. So fucking cold. Cold cold cold.

Annie-Xmas
01-22-2005, 09:52 AM
It's cold. There's no heat in my office and I'm here waiting for the repair man. If it wasn't for the space heater on my desk, I'd go home. And fucking idiot asshats keep calling asking if anyone is here? It's 8 degrees out, they are predicting a foot or more of snow, there's no heat in this office and you expect people to be here? ARE YOU AT WORK TODAY?

Kyla
01-22-2005, 10:26 AM
Oh jeez. :smack: I feel bad, and it wasn't even me who said the original comment.

Aesiron, you sure seem to be keeping a good humor about all of this.

Well, I am the commenter, and I don't feel bad. I mean, it sucks what happened to Aesiron, no doubt, but bitches still shouldn't honk at me for crossing the street.

And they shouldn't hit people crossing the street either.

Also, this fucking huge amount of snow is messing up my plans today. It's real pretty, but I can't stay inside all day.

GingerOfTheNorth
01-22-2005, 10:30 AM
Dear Maryland:

Snow does not equal Armageddon. Get the fuck over it.

CanvasShoes
01-22-2005, 10:36 AM
There is no "O" in recurring. Not when you say it, and not when you spell it. Just.....no.

:mad:
Maybe this has already been asked and answered but, people DO that where you're from, enough instances to be a minirant worth? And where exactly do they put the O? recorring? Rocurring? HUH? wow....

GingerOfTheNorth
01-22-2005, 10:55 AM
Maybe this has already been asked and answered but, people DO that where you're from, enough instances to be a minirant worth? And where exactly do they put the O? recorring? Rocurring? HUH? wow....
Title. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=297564)

CanvasShoes
01-22-2005, 11:00 AM
Title. (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=297564)
OOOOOH :smack:

Duh, okay, I guess I haven't heard it enough IRL myself to have figured it out. :)

eleanorigby
01-22-2005, 11:05 AM
ITA on "re-occuring". It's like irregardless.......blech

I pit myself for leaving my glasses (reading) at work, 35 minutes away with snowstorm recurring (note no "o") over these two days. I cannot see the puter screen well, or read. Dumb, dumb, dumb! I am not back at work for 3 days. 3 days w/o reading is an impossiblity. Driving back to work is difficult at best. So, I go spend money.....on new glasses (boring).


I pit stupid people. Defintion of stupid changes from time to tmie, but definelty involves those who start an argument and then say, "I'm not good with words--I can't say what I want to." and then refuse to discuss stuff.

WTF? Spit it out, already! I'm not expecting MLK, Jr., or Oscar Wilde. Speak!

Ephemera
01-22-2005, 11:47 AM
Well, I am the commenter, and I don't feel bad. I mean, it sucks what happened to Aesiron, no doubt, but bitches still shouldn't honk at me for crossing the street.

Just so no one thinks otherwise, my post was intended as a joke at my own expense and not intended to make you or anyone else feel bad.

stretch
01-22-2005, 12:53 PM
mr.stretch: I know your legs hurt. It sucks your legs hurt. It must be frustrating to not know why your legs hurt. Shut up about it now, before I distract you with this hammer.

mr.strech: I know your legs hurt. I've explained my theory and that's all I can do for you. STFU.

mr.stretch: I know your legs hurt. Quit kicking me all night and go sleep in the guest room.

Loki: I know you're bored. Your stitches come out tomorrow and you can go do what ever you want after that. Until then, please calm down.

My boss: I can't believe you went out of town for two days, didn't tell anyone who you'd picked for the new unit sup, only told one of the current employees who interviewed that they weren't chosen, and expected me not to tell anybody when they know that I know. Do you hate me?

My fellow employees: Yes, I've been here, in the same job, for 9 years. Yes, I do have a fair bit of institutional knowledge. I still don't know everything, and I wish you'd quit giving out my number to everybody telling them I do. Especially quit giving out my number to people in other regions. I don't mind helping out, but there are people in those offices who are paid to answer these questions. I'm paid to do my job, not yours or theirs. Thank you.

catsix
01-22-2005, 01:37 PM
TV Weather people. This is Pittsburgh. It is January. In January in Pittsburgh, two things happen: it gets cold, and it snows. Bill Engvall was right, you idiots have chronic amnesia. Every damn winter you act like it's the first freaking time we've ever had cold and snow. Please stop saying things like 'I can't remember the last time it was this cold here.' Bill is going to give you a sign.

Morons at the Dirty Bird (aka Giant Eagle). Yes, the TV forecast predicted snow. Yes they said anywhere from 4" to 10" of the white stuff for this area. This does not mean 'snowed in for three months with no airlift cargo loads of food.' At most you will be inconvenienced for a day or two. It is not necessary for you to head to the store by the metric fuckton and buy every single jug of milk in the entire store. Last night, when I was at the store to pick up some half-n-half for coffee and a few other items that friends requested as I was on my way to their house, there were 85 bazillion of you idiots there, most of you were 1) pissed that the store was out of every single kind of milk and 2) completely unable to find your children.

I know milk is a perishable item, but really, it won't go bad if you buy enough of it on Wednesday to last until next Wednesday, seriously. As for your kids, they're over there in that mewling hoarde stationed around the lobster tank and blocking up the aisle. That's where they always go. Because when you are with Mommy or Daddy at the grocery store when it will take you at least a half hour to stand in the Express line and get checked out, and you are a tiny little being with a tiny little attention span, the lobsters are entertaining.

Oh, and to the guy who was apparently being very, very nice to his girlfriend or wife and was at the Dirty Bird last night behind me in the Express lane with nothing but a package of Kotex and a box of tampons, kudos man. I hope she knows how lucky she is that you braved the hoardes for her.

wolfstu
01-22-2005, 01:54 PM
To my beloved fellow Dopers: Stop quoting the entire fucking OP in your replies. We know what you're talking about; we all read the same OP, right? Knock it off. This goes double if you're the first to reply, triple if the OP is longer than whatever it is you have to offer. STOP IT. I just read a thread that had a ten paragraph OP. Down around reply number 30, some... poster quoted the whole big thing and typed a TWO SENTENCE reply. What the fuck, seriously? WHAT THE FUCK? The real bitch of it is, neither of those sentences had much of anything to do with the OP at all and, IMO, would have worked better as a reply to a completely different (and much shorter) post. Even without a quote the post would have made perfect sense in the thread and I really don't think the other participants would have spent much time scratching their heads thinking, "Gosh, I just can't seem to work out who the fuck this person is responding to..." I ask again, what the fuck?

It's been building up for a bit now. :p


I suspect, in cases like that, that what's happening is people are confusing the "Reply" button on the bottom-right-hand corner of each post with the "Post Reply" button on the bottom-left-hand-corner of the thread page. Maybe they're just not paying attention, maybe they're used to the old-style "Quote" and "Reply" format.

Cat Whisperer
01-22-2005, 02:04 PM
TV Weather people. This is Pittsburgh. It is January. In January in Pittsburgh, two things happen: it gets cold, and it snows. Bill Engvall was right, you idiots have chronic amnesia. Every damn winter you act like it's the first freaking time we've ever had cold and snow. Please stop saying things like 'I can't remember the last time it was this cold here.' Bill is going to give you a sign.
<snip>
We get that here, too. Last cold snap, the newspeople were giving us all kinds of crucial advice like "Wear clothes outside." and "Try to stay warm." You're talking to Canadians. We know how to do cold. We know exactly how much frostbite our faces and fingers can take before we get permanent damage.

catsix
01-22-2005, 02:10 PM
Yeah, I know what you mean. And it's not like these people are [i]new[i] here.

Dennis Bowman, you've been in Pittsburgh doing the weather since I was six. That's, uh, 21 years. Learn, damnit.

And please, please stop saying the roads are 'slippy'. There is no such word in English as 'slippy'. You sound like a douchebag.

Also, um, I want to yell at those people who either drive way too fast for road conditions, or way too slow.

If you are on the freeway, and everyone else is doing 45 to 50 mph, please do not do 10 mph in the left lane. If you do this, when Jackass who is doing 80 mph comes up behind you, he cannot stop, and then we all get injured!

When you are going uphill and it is icy and your wheels slip a bit, do not stop. You will not get started again. This goes doubly if you stop beside a car that has just done this, thereby trying to trap hundreds of motorists on Greentree Hill.

Cat Whisperer
01-22-2005, 05:10 PM
I want to give a special pitting to those tiny little chunks of bone in hamburger. My lunch just snapped off a huge chunk of my molar. Went to the dentist, got it sealed up, and got an appointment for a crown in the next couple of weeks. Stupid bone chunk. Stupid teeth. Stupid expensive crowns.

aurelian
01-23-2005, 01:50 AM
It is one am here in Madison.

My neighbor is currently shoveling every square millimeter of his driveway. When he is done shoveling, he will then sweep the entire driveway.

He did the same thing this morning (and it hasn't snowed since). And last night, from 1 to 2 am.
And the night before that, when it snowed about half and inch. Again, at 2 am.

DoctorJ
01-23-2005, 02:03 AM
While on the subject of weather...

Can we stop the arms race regarding weather-predicting technology in commercials? Super Doppler! Double Doppler! Triple Dog Doppler! I'm not piloting a commercial airliner, so I really don't need pinpoint accuracy in my weather report. I just need a vague idea, which is still just about all you can give me anyway.

From my LJ post on the same subject...

ANNOUNCER (over bad computer animation): You've heard other stations make promises about timely and accurate weather reports. But if you want real, up-to-the-minute weather information, turn to Channel 6 and its Big Ass Window!

WEATHER GUY: It's 8:35 AM in the Triad and it is (looks over shoulder) snowing out there right now...

ANNOUCER: With our Big Ass Window, we can give you the weather information you need, when you need it!

WEATHER CHICK: Let's turn to our Big Ass Window, where we see that (cow flies past) tornado activity is present in the area...

ANNOUCER: Don't wait to see if the other guys are right. Turn to Channel 6's Big Ass Window--the right weather, right now!

Telperien
01-23-2005, 03:46 AM
Dear boss: I know you only have one student worker. Me. I know that is lower than the usual number. Therefore you have to actually work instead of sitting around and going out for a cigarette every two minutes. Suck it up. Your job consists of answering phones. They're not asking you to suddenly perform brain surgery.

Dear boss, relatives, and entire state: I am single and getting kind of happy with it at last. Get over it. Either fix me up with the cute co-worker/friend/etc. you keep insisting I'm perfect for, or shut up.

Dear co-worker: If you want me to help you with things, do not make fun of me for being a weird smart person. That makes me want to help you much less.

picunurse
01-23-2005, 07:55 AM
Honey, I love you with all my heart, but intending is not doing. You said, "I'll do the dishes in the morning, you relax." In the morning you had other stuff to do, and that's ok. I cleaned up the kitchen as I do every day.
What isn't ok, is telling your mom about "Having to clean up after ME!" Just when, in what dream did that happen?!
When I asked about it after the phone call, you didn't see why I was upset.
So, keeping me happy is so very easy. All you have to do is follow through with whatever you say you're going to, and DON'T LIE!
That's all.

catsix
01-23-2005, 08:58 AM
DoctorJ said:
Can we stop the arms race regarding weather-predicting technology in commercials? Super Doppler! Double Doppler! Triple Dog Doppler! I'm not piloting a commercial airliner, so I really don't need pinpoint accuracy in my weather report. I just need a vague idea, which is still just about all you can give me anyway.

Oh RIGHT ON dude!

I don't need 'StormTracker2005' to tell me that the snow will begin in Canonsburg at exactly 4:16 am and then begin in Washington at exactly 4:19 am and then begin in Eighty Four at exactly 4:21 am and then begin in Kammerer at exactly 4:23 am and then begin in Bentleyville at exactly 4:25 am...

Jeebuz! Just telling me that the snow will begin in the general Pittsburgh area sometime around 4:00 am would be fine. You do not need to list every neighborhood of Pittsburgh and then every podunk town in all the other counties.

And what is the point of going 'on location' for weather stories? If we live in Greensburg, we know that it is snowing in Greensburg. We do not need to see Sheldon Ingram doing a live report on the corner in Greensburg saying 'Yup, it's snowin.'

And to add to this: any asshole that says 'Cold enough for ya?' when the snow is piled up high and the temperature is below 10F, go to hell. What is the damn point of that anyway? And why do people keep telling me that I'm insane because I like snow? I don't call you a nutjob in the summer when you're enjoying sweating your ass off in 95F heat. So kiss my ass and quit with the 'Cold enough for ya?' and 'You must be nuts to like this weather.'

stegon66
01-23-2005, 09:33 AM
I pit the assholes who came into our restaurant five minutes prior to closing time. Look, the weather is nasty and we've been dead for the last hour and a half. We've got everything done. Some of us have been here all day so we're tired and ready to go home. We had just five more minutes. Then you had to walk in and make that smarmy comment about making it in "just under the wire." You do know there are three 24-hour eateries within five minutes' drive? You couldn't have gone to one of those? It's not like our menu offers anything that extraordinary that you just had to come here. And while I got to leave after cooking your order, I understand you kept the server here an hour after closing time? Coming in at the last minute is bad enough, but it's awfully goddamned rude to just sit around and chat when you know the place is closed. Fuck you.

P.S. And I hope your little rat bastard kid enjoyed his microwaved hamburger. You didn't really expect me to turn the grill back on just for that did you? :p

Cat Whisperer
01-23-2005, 01:06 PM
Ooh, that's a good one, Stegon. So annoying, because they're technically not doing anything wrong, but it's still pretty thoughtless, especially if there are 24 hour restaurants all around.

On the weather-related fronts, I would also like to pit people who don't shovel their walks. It snowed, then froze, and now it's melting, but the combination has made any snow that didn't get shovelled right away turn into very slippery ice. If you shovel when the snow is new and not packed down yet, it's quite easy. If you wait for it to turn to hard-packed ice, not so much. I don't get it - are there people living here who still don't know that they have a responsibility to clear their front sidewalk?

EmeraldGrue
01-23-2005, 03:39 PM
I preemptively pit cyclists. You're either pedestrians or vehicles. Pick one and stick with it.

Guinastasia
01-23-2005, 03:58 PM
Yeah, I know what you mean. And it's not like these people are [i]new[i] here.

Dennis Bowman, you've been in Pittsburgh doing the weather since I was six. That's, uh, 21 years. Learn, damnit.




Well that's what you get for watching Bowman. He's a freaking moron.


Maggie, I know you're still a kitten, and so you tend to get into things you shouldn't. Most of the time, that's okay.

But why must you do it at six am, while Mommy's trying to sleep? And WHERE is my lipstick? I know, I'm at fault for leaving it on my dresser, and trusting that you'll behave. But now it's gone. Thank you.

Oh, and no, it's okay, I LOVE being used as the human scratching post while I'm sleeping. It's great!

TeaElle
01-23-2005, 04:22 PM
Dennis Bowman, you've been in Pittsburgh doing the weather since I was six. That's, uh, 21 years. Learn, damnit.
At least he isn't doing the weather with his creepy-ass ventriloquist's dummy.

Right? :eek:

GingerOfTheNorth
01-24-2005, 02:22 PM
Dear Neighbours:

Just by placing a chair in that parking spot to hold it, you have earned my ire. You didn't fucking shovel it out, you idiot. If I wasn't so nice, I'd drive right over the chair and park there.

Fuckers.

catsix
01-24-2005, 02:32 PM
Guinastasia said:
Well that's what you get for watching Bowman. He's a freaking moron.

I think they all are. I dunno who that idiot is who's on Channel 11 in the mornings (6:00), but that one annoys me too. Channel 4 and 2 aren't an improvement, either, or I would change the channel.

TheFaerie
01-24-2005, 02:43 PM
mr.stretch: I know your legs hurt. It sucks your legs hurt. It must be frustrating to not know why your legs hurt. Shut up about it now, before I distract you with this hammer.

mr.strech: I know your legs hurt. I've explained my theory and that's all I can do for you. STFU.

mr.stretch: I know your legs hurt. Quit kicking me all night and go sleep in the guest room.

Just a thought, have mr. stretch talk to his doctor about Restless Leg Syndrome. There is good information at webmd.com. My SO has it and there is medication that can help with the pain and twitching. IANAD and all that, just someone who has been there.

Dung Beetle
01-24-2005, 02:47 PM
Dear Alcoholic Co-Worker--
You have not been fired....yet. But while the big shots are in the process of making that decision, wouldja mind coming to work and uh, working? Staying home drinking and crying your eyes out, then calling me up at work to tell me you're thinking about killing yourself is not doing anyone any good. You certainly may have fucked yourself when you got that DUI in the company vehicle last week, but you are not giving anyone a chance to salvage this mess. Get a grip! They're trying not to fire you, you silly bitch! We're all bending over backwards to help you and you're falling apart like a wet paper towel.

Elza B
01-24-2005, 02:57 PM
Father-in-law: I am not a moron. Speaking to me as if I WERE a moron will earn you a swift, well-timed kick in the nads. Even IF the home inspector is standing there at the same time.

Trucks on I-80 East - see that white stuff? That's snow. Yes, the majority of the road has been completely plowed and melted, and I will happily go 75 on those parts of the road, but when I can feel my wheels pushing through the snow, I'm not comfortable above 50. There are TWO MORE fucking lanes you're welcome to use! Get off my ass, quit flicking your brights at me, and go to hell. I guess the three trucks on their sides in a ten mile stretch aren't enough to make you think "Hey! They went off the road. Maybe I should slow down?".

Dear mr. e: When the cat is throwing up, don't try to shove newspaper under her head. She will move anyway, and she's trying to throw up in peace. Let her blow chunks, then clean it up. Quit chasing her around with the Sports Section. One of these days, she's going to throw up on your hand. And I'm going to laugh. A lot.

Mom, please don't get all pissy when I ask you not to call us at SEVEN AM. We don't get out of bed until 7:10 or so, and if the phone rings at 7 AM, we immediately assume someone is dead. We do NOT assume that you are calling to tell me that you found the gift receipt for my Gilmore Girls DVDs and I can exchange them at Target now. Next time you call at 7 AM, someone better be dead.

E.

badbadrubberpiggy
01-25-2005, 03:36 PM
Office-specific mini-rants:

1. It's frickin' freezing in here. Yes, I realize we're supposed to dress "business professional", but until someone cranks up the heat, I WILL wear my hoodie over my nice blouse, at least whilst sitting in the privacy of my own cubicle. Thank you.

2. The water filter doesn't work. So, I either have to go buy water or drink the crappy, warm, foul-tasting tap water. I think I'll just be thirsty for awhile.

3. To the shufflers: you know who you are. There's three or four of you. You work in a nice, fairly high-profile job but can't manage to pick up your feet or learn to walk in heels. If you can't walk in them without being shuffling, simply don't wear them! In this same category is Slouch'n'Slide, so dubbed b/c he can't seem to either stand up straight or pick up his feet. Sir, I sincerely hope you didn't walk into the interview like that, because you look like a dumbass. With me being the youngest in this office, that makes you at LEAST 25, but you're walk makes you look like a teenager trying to look cool. You do not look cool, you just look stupid. Even teenagers look stupid doing this, but it's ok, b/c they're kids and can't be expected to know better yet.

4. Slightly related to the shufflers, but much worse, are the stompers. Stompers can't walk from one location to the next without shaking the entire floor. My water bottle shakes like there is a T-rex approaching at rapid pace, and I'm seriously considering wearing a sports bra to work just to avoid getting a black eye from all the bouncing.

Thank you for your time, that is all for now.

Hustle
01-25-2005, 05:24 PM
As if a total of 17 hours spent on airplanes weren't bad enough, my connecting flight has been rescheduled. So this Friday I will have a 15 hour lay-over at the airport in Bangkok. And it seems to me that this is the absolute maximum amount of time I can wait before I can justify the expense of getting a room.

Typical.

lno
01-25-2005, 05:26 PM
Fuck all the fucking fuckers that fucking fuckity fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Mother mother fuck, mother mother fuck, mother fuck, mother fuck, noich noich noich.

...there, that should tide me over until I can get a drink.

The Devil's Grandmother
01-25-2005, 05:38 PM
The window washers were just here. I have shinny new windows through which I can see the parking lot, a few trees, the light rail station and a lot of fucking rainclouds! :mad:

Spectre of Pithecanthropus
01-26-2005, 04:59 PM
It's time for the "X" thing to go, it's played out.

X-Games
Right Guard X-treme deodorant
Nissan X-Terra (the ads say it has everything you need, nothing you don't, which strikes me as just a bit presumptuous
X-this
X-that

Just give the terminology a rest already. But keep the games. :)

CanvasShoes
01-27-2005, 03:21 AM
People waiting for the bus. You KNOW you're waiting for the bus. You KNOW how much it is, or at least that it will cost "something".

Do NOT wait until you are ON the bus to start digging around in your pockets trying to find your change, or your bus pass, the time to do that is as the bus is approaching. Don't leave the rest of us hanging out in the freezing cold waiting (I WILL shove by your stupid ass, university pass in hand if you pull this when I've been freezing outside waiting for a late bus). Those already on the bus are treated to the arctic blast coming through the open bus door while you slowly and casually look through your pockets, some day I'm going to get up and say something, and it won't be very polite. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Not to mention some of us have tight connections to our next bus. And yeah, that extra minute while you look through your crap can cost us making that next bus.

treis
01-27-2005, 03:39 AM
Meters. Kilograms. Seconds.

Nothing else. I do not wish to do problems that have a 80 long ton ship being pulled at 15 nautical miles per hour by a 1000 troy ounce boat ok? I have this nice little fantasy of flat out refusing to do problems that are not in metric units. In fact I smile just thinking about it. See? :)

Sublight
01-27-2005, 04:23 AM
My boss's take: I avoid having parties and going to company get-togethers because I have trouble interacting with people.

My take: I avoid telling you about parties I'm having and going to company get-togethers because I simply can't stand being around you. Sober, you're an obnoxious, foul-mouthed dick. Drunk, you're at least two orders of magnitude worse. Do you even listen to the stories you tell about your drunken exploits (usually ending with you cackling wildly about a random stranger being beaten up, or someone else's property being destroyed)? Why would anyone even want you around them? What's worse is that you act this way in front of your kids (3 and 5), and now they behave exactly like you do, only without needing alcohol to get into full swing. You want to know why I'm not throwing a housewarming party? Because I don't want you warming my fucking house, that's why!

I'm actually going to have a housewarming party, but it's just going to be with friends.

I also get along great with the Chairman, Prez and VP here (in fact, with just about everyone). It's just the guy right above me who's an insufferable asshole.

manx
01-27-2005, 07:40 AM
Fuck fuck motherfucking fuck! A post, a long post, spellchecked, creative swearing, genuine rants all a-ready, and it gets eaten!!

So fuck everything, everywhere. With a tentpole. And a duck. And an alarm-clock. A really big one. Bah.

AsecretK
01-27-2005, 09:02 AM
First:
To my first ex husband. Pay me the fucking money for the kids medical insurance. It is your responsibility. I am tired of every time I ask for the money your answer is always "Well I have to pay this bill and that bill first before I give you any money". I DON'T CARE! I need that money. It is taken out of my pay check. It is not like I can hold off paying it. The only reason I have the kids on my insurance is because it is cheaper than what your company offers. I am tired of hearing about bills you owe and how you "might" sell your Beatle Albums on Ebay to get some money. Give me the money and then sell your freaking albums to pay your bills. Not giving me the money is keeping me from paying my bills you fucking dickhead!

Second:
To my second ex husband. You called and asked me to feed your cat because you are going out of town. I said sure. I am a nice person and I would not want the kitty to starve. It was only after you gave me your key (which included your truck key) that you would only be out of town for one day, WTF? You do not need me to feed your cat. Lay down a large bowl of dry food and water and he will be fine. QUIT trying to give me your apartment and truck keys and make comments about keeping them. I am not with you anymore and have no desire to have a key to your apartment or your truck. I have moved on and I have a BF. Just stop it already!

Third:
I pit myself for ever marrying the above mentioned assholes.

Elza B
01-27-2005, 10:17 AM
Motherfucking scum-sucking shit-licking fucking-ass goat-felching gutter sluts!

I would like ONE FUCKING THING to go right with the purchase of this house. And FIL? QUIT FUCKING GUILT-TRIPPING YOUR SON - I am his fucking wife, NOT you. If we want to buy the goddamn house against your wishes, we WILL. Now get the fuck over yourself and be our REALTOR, for fuck's sake. They probably would have accepted the price reduction if you hadn't pissed the seller off during the inspection! Keep your fucking mouth SHUT unless you are absolutely required to open it for the FUCKING SALE.

Holy shit, I am pissed.

E.

World Eater
01-27-2005, 10:48 AM
The heat in here is keeping me warm on this cold ass day. Keep it up folks! :p

Spoons
01-27-2005, 10:50 AM
To a good friend (though he may not be that much longer):

Stop sending me e-mail forwards of attached files that you find humorous. I can't judge whether they are, because I delete them immediately. But when I am on dialup, I do not have the time to download a 5, 6, or 7 meg sound or movie file, especially when I am trying to download a message from a client who expects me to call him back as soon as I receive it. Which is what I'm trying to do now, only your crap that is incoming as I type this is keeping me from getting on the phone and doing business.

Yes, you have my e-mail address. It's because I want to hear from you, not from some acquaintance five forwards ago who is sending out supposedly-funny attachments. I've asked you before and I'll ask you again: cut it out!

Redwing
01-27-2005, 11:34 AM
See that snow, over there? You know, the stuff that was plowed off the now clear roadway? Just because you see that snow doesn't mean you need to drive 20 god-damned, mother-fucking, miles per hour. You won't go sliding out of control because you can fucking see the snow beside the highway if you drive over, oh, say, 50mph. I promise.

Cinnamon Girl
01-27-2005, 11:56 AM
Part I: Dear Boss,

When you don't have someone trained properly, you shouldn't be surprised when people complain that said worker does not know how to do their job. Furthermore, it is your responsibility to assign coaches, so why are you asking me who trained (supposedly) said coworker? If it were me, you know very well we wouldn't be having this conversation. And if you expect someone to get trained by their coach properly, it would help if you'd follow procedure and staff accordingly so trainer actually has the time to train as opposed to dividing their attention between training and primary supervisory responsibilities. Trainees deserve some face time. See, it says it right there on that training plan you filled it out. And while we're talking about training, when you do follow the plan, try using actual certified training coaches. In the past, you have assigned someone to train whom you know has sloppy work habits, chooses to remain blissfully, but unacceptably, ignorant of standards and procedure, and has never been certified as a coach. One would think the insensibility of this set-up and its eventual undesireable outcome would be evident.

Guess what, boss. I do know our standards backward and forward, inside and out. That's why you promoted me, remember? I also consider it important to our business and customers to stick to those standards. So, I'm going to coach people on those standards in accordance with my job description. When you indicate to staff, without telling me, that it's okay to drop those standards for no good reason, you're basically undermining me in my job and the staff can't deal with this conflicting message (particularly those staff members whom you're complaining haven't been trained properly -- seeing any connection there?). This does not sit well with me at all. I'm relatively certain this situation is not what upper management deems acceptable. Capice?

Part II: Dear Fool Co-Worker,

I know you weren't trained well (or at all). I'm just as unhappy about this situation as you must be. So quit being resistant to my coaching while I'm supervising you. While you're on the job, you still need to learn how to do things right. You can't expect to make mistakes and not be coached on them until you receive formal training (good luck with that). In case you hadn't noticed, I'm pretty darn knowledgeable and can teach you a thing or two. BTW, you've been here longer than the very young girl who started just a couple of months ago, but she could (and does) work circles around you. Incidently, I was one of her training coaches, but she's good mostly because she works hard. She communicates and asks questions. She strives to learn. You don't, which to me says you really couldn't care less. If you stopped chatting and time-wasting, you'd be perfectly capable of accomplishing your tasks with ease and timeliness. Much of our job is common sense stuff, anyway. It's not rocket-science! And you can learn it on the job even without formal, proper training. Oh, and I'm trying very hard to be patient with you, but your attitude sucks, too. Act your age and get over it. This isn't your first job.

Gawd, I wish I could say this directly to you both. But while I try to be professional, you're PISSING ME OFF, dammit!

Balle_M
01-27-2005, 01:55 PM
Oh RIGHT ON dude!

And what is the point of going 'on location' for weather stories? If we live in Greensburg, we know that it is snowing in Greensburg. We do not need to see Sheldon Ingram doing a live report on the corner in Greensburg saying 'Yup, it's snowin.''

Preach it, Brother. But the one that really frosts my nuts is when they have the reportron standing in a sleet storm WHEN IT HAS ABS0-FUCKING-LUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE STORY.

"This is Mary Robb Jackson standing outside the City/County Building where..."

Yep...nice building, babe. Maybe next time they'll let you IN-side.

HelenTroy
01-27-2005, 02:32 PM
"It's cold out there today, so moms bundle up your kids."

Moms? MOMS? Can we please get past the point people where it is just assumed moms take care of everything dealing with children? How about "It will be below freezing all day, so parents, make sure those kids are bundled up at the bus stop."? I know its petty, but he says it every morning and it is beginning to work my nerves.

eleanorigby
01-27-2005, 03:00 PM
Oy. I hear ya on the cold and the mom thing.......

My vent for today is about weight issues. Hey, I know some fat people. And they are nice people! They are friendly, intelligent, curious people--keepers.

BUT.

What is it with them and the whole fat talk? Does anyone else notice this? Sample convo:

"I am so heavy. eleanor -you are so lucky, you look so good."

Me,"well, thank you; I thnk you look good too."

Them,"No, I can never lose weight. You know my mother used to make me clean my plate and then kids made fun of me in school and then my mom made me go on a diet and I still hate it when people say Ishouldn't eat X or I can't have Y."

Me,"I think that everyone can take small steps everyday to impact on their problems, be it weight, job skills, relationships, exercise. I had the hardest time turning off the negatvie shit in my head about my looks etc. Maybe that is something you could look at for your issues with weight. It's not easy but it can be done."

Them," No, it'll never work and you just don't understand. " (leave in huff).

I have been told that the pain is too great, that the embarassment re: exercising is too much; that they've tried to lose weight in the past and gained it all back--the rationalizatons are endless. They suck alot of time, though, and take the focus off the fact that whilst whiling the time away bemoaning the fact that one is plagued by obesity, one isn't doing anything to change it.


WTF? I guess the laws of physics don't work for obese people--and changing mindsets and changing period is out of the question. :rolleyes:

I say, either stop whining about losing weight and expecting people to join your pity party or take the stairs, starting today and lose the donuts.

That is all.

Freejooky
01-27-2005, 03:08 PM
Triple-rant:

Dear Illinois highway department or whatever -

Usually, once tollways have paid off the cost of a highway, they're no longer tollways. Yet, after 20+ years of this shit, you have the audacity to exactly DOUBLE the price of tolls, up to between $.80 and $1.00? Are you fucking kidding me? I hit FOUR of these on the way to work every day, you shit-gobbling pedophiles!

You've made it so that I have to purchase an "I-pass" electronic box to automatically deduct tolls as I go through. While this process has been enough of a pain in the ass, THE FUCKING THING BARELY WORKS. Half of the time, it isn't registered as I go through the fucking gate!

And god forbid I go through one of the non-I pass lanes, because it's likely that the FUCKING GATE WON'T RAISE! I'm not in the bait of carrying $10 in fucking change with me in my car every day, so I never have the coins to toss into the basket when your fucking piece of shit technology doesn't work, so I'm stuck at the fucking gate!

But wait - here comes the FUCKING MORON BEHIND ME who's already pulled up so close that I can't back up to the basket even if I DO have change with me - and now he's honking! Hey, shit-for-brains, if you're blocking me from being able to put change in the basket, how the fuck do you expect me to DO that? Why don't you fucking throw some money in to raise the gate, you fuckwad?

I'm going to kill somebody.

Agonist
01-27-2005, 03:37 PM
And what is the point of going 'on location' for weather stories? If we live in Greensburg, we know that it is snowing in Greensburg. We do not need to see Sheldon Ingram doing a live report on the corner in Greensburg saying 'Yup, it's snowin.'



"I am standing at an intersection which, only half an hour ago, was blocked off because of ice on the road. The ice has melted now, traffic has resumed, and I'm still standing here to tell you that there used to be ice on this road."

NinjaChick
01-28-2005, 01:35 AM
1. Roommate: stop reading over my shoulder when I'm on the computer. It's fucking annoying.

2. My knees: Okay, let's talk. I'm eighteen. YOu are, therefore, eighteen years old as well. Knees are supposed to function perfectly fine, regardless of how much stress you put on them, before the age of twenty. Can't we wait at least two years before you start causing me to personally keep the ibuprofen business flying high?

3. Roommate, karate sensei, aikido sensei, parents, and various friends: You asked me what was wrong. I told you my knees hurt. Don't fucking tell me to go to the doctor. You know me, therefore, you know that so long as I'm physically capable of walking, I'm not going to the doctor for a non-problem. I've been dealing with it for at least a year. I know my body better than a doctor who's not me. Bite me.

4. Friend: Dude, if you don't like my music, don't listen to it on iTunes. Simple.

5. Euclid: Bite me, you loser. You're confusing as hell, your definitions suck, you introduce concepts and terms without definitions, and you generally blow. You're about as sexy as a stale biscuit, and it's probably been an improvement since you died.

CanvasShoes
01-28-2005, 05:28 AM
1. Roommate: stop reading over my shoulder when I'm on the computer. It's fucking annoying.

2. My knees: Okay, let's talk. I'm eighteen. YOu are, therefore, eighteen years old as well. Knees are supposed to function perfectly fine, regardless of how much stress you put on them, before the age of twenty. Can't we wait at least two years before you start causing me to personally keep the ibuprofen business flying high?
Ouch, you poor thing. My own darling daughter started suffering from back problems at 16 years old. Sciatica, which I also have, but I didn't start having attacks until I was 21.

I KNOW you said don't tell you this, but how do you know it's not something that can be controlled if you don't at least have a consultation? And, I can tell you from experience, that ibuprofen and its ilk will eventually cause some NOT so lovely gastro-intestinal probs to go along with the knee probs.

I know, I know.......but as one who's been there, would you at least consider a "looksee" consult?

Harborwolf
01-28-2005, 07:08 AM
Dear VH1, please change the playlist for your morning show. I'm pretty slow in the mornings, and the fact that you always start the 7:00 hour with Soldier by Destiny's Child followed by Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day makes me think I'm living the movie Groundhogs Day. Please stop fucking with my head. Please play some different music.

Snickers
01-28-2005, 09:42 AM
I pit the fact that it's not news until it hits the east coast. Awww, poor Washington D.C. hit 25 degrees today - it's sooooo cold! They're freezing their asses off! Poor little souls. :rolleyes:

Listen, fucksticks: I live in Minnesota. I live in the *warm* part of Minnesota. You don't know from cold. Stop bitching about your "cold" or I swear I'll instantly transport you to Embarass to educate you about cold.

Now 3 feet of snow - that's respectable. That's news. Cold, in January, is not news. Especially not to Minnesotans. Suck it up, assholes.

Sat on Cookie
01-28-2005, 10:35 AM
Ahh, another one.

Fellow posters,

Would you please do us all a favor and ask what you, in fact, really mean to ask? For example, instead of saying, "Is this a good gift for me to give my girlfriend?" please say, "Agree with this gift I've decided to give my girlfriend."

I mean, nothing personal, but you look like an asshat asking for us to opine about your predicament and then crying like a schoolgirl when people don't agree with your idiotic post.

Over and out.

minor7flat5
01-28-2005, 11:19 AM
1) The nice lady at Dunkin' Donuts who told me my food cost $3.38, accepted a $1 bill, two neat stacks of four quarters, and two more quarters. She looked at me after tossing it all in the register and said "Fifty more cents." After I explained how carefully I had handed her the ten quarters, she gave me a "Whatever..." look and then...

2) She handed me back a dime, not 12 cents. Its a tiny piddling thing. However, it's a breach of etiquette for a salesperson to audaciously round my change down without my consent.

3) Why the hell does piddly stuff like this annoy me? I wish I could just let it all roll off my back. It doesn't bother me anymore, but at the time, it put me in the proper mood so that...

4) I gave the Jersey salute to the fellow who was behind me this morning when I was crossing two lanes of traffic (both in same direction). The six huge SUVs in the near lane had politely stopped to allow me to cross, but due to their bulk, I could not see the far lane *at all*. This means that even though the fellow beeped, I had no certainty that beyond the hood of the lead SUV I wouldn't encounter certain death from a barreling garbage truck.

The Devil's Grandmother
01-28-2005, 11:30 AM
What am I, freaking invisible? You read enough of the fucking thread to realize it might be a reaction to that but did you bother to read anything I posted? Obviously not, asshole.
And double what Sat on Cookie said.
It's still raining. At least I've got tonight and a bottle of port to look forward to.

Rilchiam
01-29-2005, 07:49 AM
People waiting for the bus. You KNOW you're waiting for the bus. You KNOW how much it is, or at least that it will cost "something".

Do NOT wait until you are ON the bus to start digging around in your pockets trying to find your change, or your bus pass, the time to do that is as the bus is approaching. Don't leave the rest of us hanging out in the freezing cold waiting (I WILL shove by your stupid ass, university pass in hand if you pull this when I've been freezing outside waiting for a late bus). Those already on the bus are treated to the arctic blast coming through the open bus door while you slowly and casually look through your pockets, some day I'm going to get up and say something, and it won't be very polite. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr



On that note, I'd like to pit the people who pounce on people waiting at the bus stop, hawking jewelry, panhandling, or just trying to pick our pockets. Clearly, they have the schedules memorized so they can go in for the kill at the moment they know you'll be digging for your fare. And they're really, really good at lurking out of sight beforehand. I am not unobservant, but they still run up on me. (No one's successfully picked my pocket yet, but I'll still pit them for trying.)

---People who try to finish your sentences for you. Especially if it's too early for them to have a clue what you're getting at.

"My neighbors have this dog---"

"And it barks all night?"

"No, it's an inside dog. They---"

"It crapped on your lawn?"

"No. 'We' don't have a lawn; it's communal to the building and it's a postage stamp. They're paying me to feed---"

"You don't have a lawn?"

:smack:

---My insurance company. Why the fuck did you change my prescription plan so I get half as many pills for the same money? Yes, JTL, I know it's still a great health plan. Still, now I only get 30 days' worth of pills instead of 45 days.

Cat Whisperer
01-29-2005, 01:57 PM
[QUOTE=minor7flat5]<snip>2) She handed me back a dime, not 12 cents. Its a tiny piddling thing. However, it's a breach of etiquette for a salesperson to audaciously round my change down without my consent.

3) Why the hell does piddly stuff like this annoy me? I wish I could just let it all roll off my back. It doesn't bother me anymore, but at the time, it put me in the proper mood so that...
<snip>[QUOTE]
This bugs me, too. It's my damned penny, and I decide whether or not I want it.

Oh, on another similar note - I despise tip jars at fast food/coffee joints. You took my order, you brought it to me, you made change. For this you deserve a tip? For doing the bare minimum required for your job?

stegon66
04-26-2005, 10:18 AM
So I've got a 368, all positive feedback rating on eBay. I get up this morning and discover that a buyer has left a neutral for me. I know, a neutral ain't nearly as bad as a negative, but it's still a blemish of sorts on an otherwise perfect feedback score. (And yes, I realize by the law of averages that it had to happen sooner or later, but still...) Anyway, his comments: "good and fast transaction, but box (this was a boxed DVD set) slightly (italics mine) damaged during shipping." Now I packed that sucker well, so the post office must have banged hell out of it for it to be damaged - not my fault, right? Thing is, if he'd contacted me about this before leaving the neutral, I would have gladly given him a partial refund even though the damage wasn't my fault. So, dear buyer, fuck you for jumping the gun on this. I see you have a perfect rating so far, hopefully karma will rectify that. Fuckin' dick.

JerH
04-26-2005, 11:10 AM
I got a neutral the other day too, for a book I'd sold on half.com - not because the book or package arrived damaged, but because she thought my packaging didn't protect the book enough. While that may have been reasonable criticism for a rare or new books, this was a used book, being sold in Good condition, for $1.50. The same woman had emailed me 2 days after she placed her order asking when she'd receive it (but, of course, hadn't paid for expedited shipping). Damn, if you want a perfect copy today, then go to Borders and pay the $15 for a new copy - don't complain about the $4.50 (with shipping) you spent to get mine.

Wile E
04-26-2005, 12:02 PM
Okay, I got a few things;

1) I pit the cat that won't leave my lucky bamboo plant alone. The poor thing was dying so I had to cut the stalk and reroot it, this made it easier for the cat to get it, now he's chewed off most of the leaves which make him throw up. It is now my unlucky bamboo plant.

2) I pit the ants that keep getting into the bowl to get to the water I have my unlucky bamboo in whenever I move it to the only place in my house that the cat can't get to it.

3) I pit all the ants, I have 3 varieties. The little tiny ones, the black ones and the carpenter ants. The littler ones go away eventually when I put out the ant bait but they also always come back eventually. I usually find out they are back when I find a bunch of them in something (like my unlucky bamboo) I know carpenter ants are bad, I need to make some major roof repairs and get the bad wood replaced to get rid of them. I can't afford this.

4) I pit my money pit, also known as my house that started falling appart the second I moved in. If I manage to fix anything, at least two to three more things break, go bad, fall apart or whatever.

5) On to work. I pit my coworkers that think that slapping a towel or blanket into an unreasonable fascimile of "folded" and then stacking them into a leaning tower of towels in such a manner that trying to remove one causes the entire thing to fall on top of you or fall all over the place is not acceptable. No, I am not being anal about how they should be folded or stacked, it looks sloppy and if clients see it they think we can't take care of your pets because we can't even fold towels and stack them neatly. If it takes only 10 seconds more to do something neatly as opposed to that half-assed stuff then you do it the right way.
You are not so busy that you can't spare the time to do it right.

6) How many times do I have to tell staff that if you want time off that is not for a medical reason or a scheduled vacation then you need to find someone to fill in for you? Why is it that a co-worker decides to throw a shower for a pregnant co-worker on a day when pregnant co-worker has to work and most of the other staff are working so cannot attend and I am expected to find someone to work for her instead of her working her shift which starts 3 hours later? Co-worker 1 slaps everyone in the face by purposely excluding them by scheduling it it for a time when most of them are working but then I will be the hard ass for not working for her or finding someone to fill in. And why wait until a week before to ask me about it?

JohnBckWLD
04-26-2005, 12:07 PM
Background: Some white teenage girls were beaten up by a gang of black girls and the city originally deemed it to not rise to the level of a hate crime. In a move that looks like a way to increase circulation to 'Crown Heights Riot Levels', a small newspaper in Brooklyn printed a few letters that sound like short-wave talk radio.

Mini Rant: The Brooklyn Skyline (http://www.brooklynskyline.com/news_article.asp?c=ne&na=1502) - Though claiming to have 'withheld the most obscene and unprintable letters' they still published out-of-town letters to the editor that have no redeeming qualities (other than to incite): If you cannot yet see that nice words and slogans like ‘Human Rights’, Hate Crimes, Equality, Democracy and Liberalism are designed to destroy all people of white ancestry, you deserve to be slaughtered by the ever breeding, ever eating cancer of blacks.
Sincerely,
Sean Verste
New Zealand

...


If these girls sue, I suspect the black trash responsible will get the same lawyer that fought against Bernie Goetz and not only beat the suit, but will probably manage to turn it around and sue the girls for being too white, offending the low-life black kids in the neighborhood with their “whiteness,” thereby justifying the assault.
Sincerely,
M. Smiley
Indianapolis, IN

...


White folks and Jews had better start waking up. The African savage has been attacking, robbing, raping, and murdering us since the ‘60’s when Jews and idiot liberal whites unleashed it upon us.
Black savages attack us 50 times more often than we attack them. Throughout America, blacks can walk safely in most white neighborhoods, but throughout America, there is barely a black neighborhood that whites can safely walk in.
The only thing that low IQ impulsive violent savages understand is swift, violent retribution. If New York cannot control the wild beasts, the wild beasts should be confined in a zoo.
Why does 12% of the population commit 60% of all violent crime? Their culture is in their blood. Where one finds blacks, one finds traces of the primitive brutality of Africa.
Sincerely,
Keith E. Brumbach
Iowa

...


Blacks always will act as blacks have always done. Time for a repatriation act to send them ALL black to Africa.
Sincerely,
Alan Richards
New Lenox, IL

...


When you oppress a people - when you oppress their mother, father, uncles, aunts, grandparents, great-grandparents, great-great-grandparents and you terrorize them for years upon years - you torture them and then you break every promise made - at some point in time those people will break - and the gentle, passive next door neighbor that you are accustomed to, has now become a monster - from snipers to riots to gangs - the desire for revenge often clouds true revolution - uncontrollable emotion is the bullet that dictates life or death on the former perpetrator of deplorable crimes - but now at the hand of someone who has not been trained on how the exact method to repay the multiple debts that are owed should be acted out.
I cannot say that what was done to these four girls is right - but what about our churches that were burned - what about an entire city of black innocents that were murdered, annihilated by whites (Black Wall Street) - what about black girls that were beaten and raped - even bombed - the list of atrocities that were done against peoples of African descent can go on and on - but to this day - no reparations have been paid - barely an apology spoken - so how do we exorcize the anger burning deep inside the souls of a people?
I was standing outside my workplace in downtown DC (7th & F Streets NW) - suddenly I heard a “smack” sound. I looked around and noticed a thin white man whose glasses had just been smacked off of his face by a young black man who was now laughing and running (slowly) away.
For a brief moment, I was appalled at the act performed by the young black man - but then as I called the police and began to reach out and help the white man - I realized how cold and angry this young black man must have been to have done such a deed, in broad daylight, apparently with no thought of consequences for what he did. Racism in this country continues - blacks are still at the bottom of everything - but now we have access to weapons - to drugs - and the churches and “leadership” no longer have the power over us as a people as they have in the past - we are reckless - we no longer care - we are angry - we are hurting - we are medicated and drugged up - and we don’t know how to control the anger that feeds our sleepless nights.
Sincerely,
Kieta Thompson
Washington, DCAt least one can rest easy in the knowledge these sentiments come from outside the area.

Dob
04-26-2005, 12:58 PM
Amazing the ignorance displayed in those letters! Cecil is not doing his job very well!

Dangerosa
04-26-2005, 02:29 PM
People on other message boards:

Knock it off with the advice based on your own good luck.

Just because you traveled to a third world country 32 weeks pregnant and didn't have a problem doesn't mean its good advice. The thread is filled with people saying "I (or my wife) ended up in pre-term labor and were damn glad we were near home with a hospital with good medical facilities when our son was delivered weighing three pounds."

Silver Fire
04-26-2005, 02:49 PM
I am sick to fucking death of MPSIMS threads in the Pit. If I started a Pit thread every time something happened to me that kind of pissed me off, there wouldn't be room for anything else. Here's a clue: if you have to remind everyone how lame your OP is (e.g. "[title] (Lame)", or saying "I know this is lame, but..." anywhere in the OP itself), it's not a fucking pit thread. Go to MPSIMS. Better yet, get an LJ.

I should start a thread about this...

Also, you got your GD all over my Pit. I'm telling mom!

Dark Side of the Floyd
04-26-2005, 04:24 PM
Summer and Spring, go away. I hate the heat, bring back Fall and Winter!.

whiterabbit
04-26-2005, 04:32 PM
Whoever scheduled what I'm told is a company-wide meeting that everybody must attend in uniform (I work for a grocery store) on Thursday night at 7 PM, please take your meeting and stick it. It's not the meeting, though I have no idea what it's going to be about anyway. It's the TIMING.

My SO's parents are coming to visit and arriving that afternoon, you see, and while I've met his dad, I haven't met his mom, and now on top of being nervous about meeting her (the last relationship, meeting the mother led to disaster) she'll probably meet me while I'm wearing those horrible pants you insist I wear.

I do not complain to you. I show up, I do my job, I wear your ugly pants. And I'll show up to your damn meeting. But really, any other night would have been so much better...

Spectre of Pithecanthropus
04-26-2005, 05:01 PM
Let's talk about those ridiculous outdoor attention getters that you see on the sidewalk outside stores and small businesses. I'm talking specifically about the ones that consist of a human mascot or effigy painted onto a Dacron tube with arms, which is repeatedly blown up by a gas powered blower. The idea is that it's supposed to look like a person jumping up and waving his arms to grab your attention.

Well guess what. It doesn't look like an excited person. It looks like an excited penis. A penis with arms. And, after several weeks with the dirty diesel-fumed air wafting through it, like a dirty excited penis with arms.

Guinastasia
04-27-2005, 01:56 AM
I'm so sick of my kitten Maggie knocking things off of my dresser and vanity. I just bought a brand new tube of lipstick, in my favorite shade. I really needed this, and was happy to finally have found it.

Except this morning, when I went to put on my make up, it was nowhere to be found. Then I remembered yelling at Maggie vaguely very early this morning for knocking stuff off of the vanity. She must have knocked the tube around playing with it, and I searched all over my room and couldn't find it. It's either hidden somewhere I can't find it, or knocked down into the furnace vent. A brand new tube. I just bought it. Dammit.

Damn fucking weather-one week it's warm enough for shorts, fans and open windows. Then, this week, it's snowing. Snowing. On April fucking 24th. What the FUCK, Mother Nature, you goddamn crackwhore.

Missy2U
04-27-2005, 11:04 AM
Yo, coworker #1 (and the other four idiots participating in what appears to be nothing more than a group circlejerk). In case you hadn't noticed, this is a stairwell. Stairwells are generally intended for people to walk up and down when going from one floor to another. They are NOT MEETING PLACES - we have groovy cool rooms for that - they are called CONFERENCE ROOMS. I might even go so far as to guess, considering how many groovy cool gadgets y'all have hanging off your belts, that you are important enough to have - eeeek - get ready for it - OFFICES you could meet in! Now get the FUCK out my way and out of my stairwell - I would LIKE to get to my office.

Coworker #2 - nice scent - must you MARINATE IN IT? YES, I am going to work at home the rest of the day - your cologne has given me a migraine. By the way NO, it is none of your business - what I do at home and when I work from home is between my boss and I - and you, not being my boss or in any way, shape, or form related to what I do or who I report to, have nothing to say about it. Get bent and get out of my office.

Husband #1 - well that's kind of redundant but what the hell - you had BETTER not give me any shit when you pick me up about how I folded your damn laundry anymore - you leave it on the dining room table for crying out loud - you don't even bother to put it AWAY - either say THANK YOU or DO IT YOUR OWN DAMN SELF. I am perfectly content to leave it in a pile on top of the damn dryer - if your PMS (permanent male suffering) doesn't ratchet it down a notch or two, you could earn yourself the designation of husband who sleeps on the couch. Try me.

Do I feel better? No. I'm having a really bad day.

Rilchiam
05-02-2005, 03:05 AM
To certain posters on a board that shall be nameless, but has a lot of talk about American Idol:

I know that there is a website called votefortheworst.com. I knew about it last season. If I hadn't, I still would have seen one of the twenty-fucking-five* links that has already been posted. Stop fucking popping into every thread that even tangentially mentions Scott Savol and saying, "Hey guys, do you know about this? [link]" Especially when three different posts on the same page already fucking mentioned it.

*I don't know exactly how many times it's been linked. I just know it's a fucking lot.

manx
05-02-2005, 06:18 AM
Brain: What's up with this completely inappropriate

manx
05-02-2005, 06:36 AM
Oh fucking hell. What's up with posting too early, huh? And secondly, what's up with my stupid inappropriate unobtainable crush? How did this happen? Get out of my head!

Customers. Shut up about The DaVinci Code. Shut up. It's not a good book. No, really. It's got some interesting ideas, but no, it's not original. Stop fucking buying it! Don't tell me how good it is. Don't buy the rest of his novels. Don't return The Line of Beauty because 'it's just disgusting sex'. DON'T YOU DARE think that Lucky is the sequel to The Lovely Bones, it says so RIGHT ON THE FUCKING COVER that it's autobiographical. The COVER, for the love of god. If it was a sequel we'd put it NEXT to The Lovely Bones in Fiction, not way the hell down the back of the shop in NON-FICTION.

Mostly I'm pissed at this stupid crush. Stupid brain.

Sierra Indigo
05-02-2005, 08:50 AM
Customers. Shut up about The DaVinci Code. Shut up. It's not a good book. No, really. It's got some interesting ideas, but no, it's not original. Stop fucking buying it! Don't tell me how good it is. Don't buy the rest of his novels...

Amen to that. If I hear one more person tell me about how good and how 'groundbreaking' that book was then I'm going to break some ground myself. With their head.

Also, tech support rant. If I ask you what's happening when you try to get online, don't tell me what your friend's brother's cousin's best friend Jeff who is studying computer science at uni told you might be wrong with OUR server. I will decide if the problem is on your end or ours, and then I will tell you what we're going to try and do to fix it! If Jeff is so damned knowledgeable that you're going to take his word as gospel, then get him to fix it for you.

Telperien
05-02-2005, 01:15 PM
Mostly I'm pissed at this stupid crush. Stupid brain.

I sympathize and empathize. (I think that's right.) For once, I don't have a stupid inappropriate crush.

shelbo
05-02-2005, 03:44 PM
I hereby pit cups and glasses that have dishwasher water pooling rims around their bases.


(Is it so tough to figure out that that's a bad idea?

Raygun99
05-03-2005, 12:23 AM
Just because your cell phone rings does not mean you are compelled to answer it. It's OK to let it ring through to your voice mail if you are otherwise occupied. For instance, standing at a urinal in a crowded bathroom at a lacrosse game (or any sporting event, really) is a good place not to answer your cell phone.

In addition, if you do in fact feel compelled to answer it, it is not neccesary to announce to your caller, and the rest of the bathroom, what you are doing at the moment. Starting off a conversation with, "What do you want, I've got my dick in my hand?" is not good phone etiquette. Stop acting like your caller is incoveniencing you by happening to call at this time -- see above, it's your choice whether or not to answer your phone.

Finally, if you find that the poor reception on your phone -- you're in a goddamn concrete bunker inside another giant concrete facility -- makes it so that your caller does not hear your astonishing breach of manners, you should not take it upon yourself to repeat your error, louder, or continue to make this remark upon leaving the bathroom, as no one else want to hear you yell this either.

On a non "dick-in-my-hand" note, I understand, dear broadband company, that you are upset that I have cancelled your service. However, tonight offered an illustration of why I did cancel with you. After navigating through your idiotic voice recognition software, including repeating a phone number that didn't actually seem to be sent to the operator I was connected to, I was told that the waybill number for the modem I was returning could not be accepted because all the internet staff was off, five minutes after I made the call. Why, exactly, could you not note this on my account? It's ridculous bureaucratic crap like this that's why you're shedding market share, not just on internet, but to the digital phone people, too.

Queen Bruin
05-03-2005, 03:37 AM
"Let's get this cat litter," Says my husband, He Who Has Not Scooped the Poop. "It's $2 cheaper than the Brand we usually get."

"But, it's not broke, why fix it?" Says I, Scooper of the Poop.

"Well, let's try it."

NO, honey, let's NOT. That shit has the absorbency of a pile of nylon wadded up in a trash bag. We saved $2 at the register, only we're going through it twice as fast and it works a whole order of magnitude worse than the usual stuff.

GRRR.