How am I Driving? 1 800 EAT EXCREMATE!

[Mr. Roboto]

I got turned-in!
I have been accused and convicted of recklessly driving 90 MPH. Weaving in and out of traffic. Making unsafe lane changes and not using my directionals. That is what the offended driver reported (snitched) to the number on my Bumper Sticker. Now, it is all documented and in my personnel file and I have Zero recourse. What a bunch of Monkey Crap! I'd find considerable enjoyment shoving a Banana up the other drivers tailpipe! If your vehicle is dirty and another motorist is in a pissy-fit and decides they don't like the color of your tires, they can call that number a make a Bogus complaint. Now, at the office, I am immediately under a cloud of suspicion. "Drive Safely"......"Slow Down"....."Be Curtious"
No recourse, No Not Guilty....Branded: Bad Driver!!! I'm Screwed!

[BubbaDog]

So, was it all made up or did they exaggerate something that you did?

[Ilsa_Lund]

EX-CREMATE? Is that like the Walker Co. crematorium?

[Uvula Donor]

ex cre mate - n - a person you think is your friend, but who is actually a shithead.

[TellMeI'mNotCrazy]

ex cre mate - n - a person you think is your friend, but who is actually a shithead.
:D Now that was good.

[Mr. Roboto]

Bubba.....
I've never driven 90 MPH in my lifetime. You can't weave in and out of traffic in So. California unless you have a Death Wish & I know why the signals were installed on my steering column. I beleive the offended party was one of the Morons who persist to drive 55 MPH in the Fast Lane! I will usually go around these people ( weaving irratically in and out of traffic). Bogus!

[lno]

You can't weave in and out of traffic in So. California unless you have a Death Wish
...
I will usually go around these people ( weaving irratically in and out of traffic).I have great respect for truckers and give them a wide berth on the road. Their vehicles aren't as maneuverable and have poorer fields of vision than others. That being said, I think there may have been some merit in the complaint, and that if you're driving a large vehicle that has a "How am I driving" sticker, or even a business phone number, you should exercise a little more caution.

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

Why didn't you smear mud all over the stickers, like everybody else does? :dubious:

[neuroman]

Sounds like the pus bag who turned you in is a lying whore. What kind of impact will this negative report have on your job?

(The only time I've ever turned in a trucker was when I saw him pass a car in a no-passing zone on a two lane highway at night where he could have easily killed someone had they been coming in the opposite direction.)

[Legolamb]

I've always wondered what the follow-up was from one of those calls. It's disappointing that a company will trust a somewhat anonymous phone call over its employee without even a cursory investigation.

Any idea if this will affect your job in terms of raises, promotions and the like, or will it be mostly ignored unless there are more complaints?

[Trunk]

I know a guy who owned a landscaping company and someone called to report an employee's bad driving, except it was him, the owner.

He told the caller to go to hell.

He was a bad/crazy/aggressive driver. He also knew it and didn't give a shit.

[Jackmannii]

You can't weave in and out of traffic in So. California unless you have a Death Wish & I know why the signals were installed on my steering column. I beleive the offended party was one of the Morons who persist to drive 55 MPH in the Fast Lane! I will usually go around these people ( weaving irratically in and out of traffic). Bogus!So you're a trucker with a Death Wish? Eeesh.

Maybe you can lobby your employer for installation of monitoring devices in the vehicles which will log speed and other parameters, if you think that will establish that you are a safe driver. :dubious:

[spingears]

I got turned-in! I'm Screwed!"I'm so mad I can't spell! :rolleyes:
Excremate = No Pschit! :p
Excrement. The real thing! :)

[blowero]

Bubba.....
I've never driven 90 MPH in my lifetime.
So how fast were you going?

[Smeghead]

This reminds me of an old David Letterman bit. He got in his car and started following one of these vehicles with one of these stickers on it. He called the number on his car phone and started giving them real-time updates on how the guy was driving: "He's still doing very well. He's making a right turn, now. He used his blinker. Now we're proceeding up this street..." His point was that the sticker didn't say to only call if the guy was driving BAD.

[Dag Otto]

So how fast were you going?


The speedometer only goes to 85!

[blowero]

This reminds me of an old David Letterman bit. He got in his car and started following one of these vehicles with one of these stickers on it. He called the number on his car phone and started giving them real-time updates on how the guy was driving: "He's still doing very well. He's making a right turn, now. He used his blinker. Now we're proceeding up this street..." His point was that the sticker didn't say to only call if the guy was driving BAD.
Huh, I forgot David Letterman used to be funny...

[blowero]

I've always wondered what the follow-up was from one of those calls. It's disappointing that a company will trust a somewhat anonymous phone call over its employee without even a cursory investigation.

Any idea if this will affect your job in terms of raises, promotions and the like, or will it be mostly ignored unless there are more complaints?
I would hope that you'd have to get a certain number of complaints before any action is taken. One complaint could be a fluke, but if you got like 10 in a week, then...

[Mr. Goob]

I feel for you. When I was driving local delivery I won't say my driving style changed when I was in a truck with lettering and a phone number on the side or not. However that dictated if I would use certain hand signals or not.

One morning I answered the phone in the warehouse and some guy politely asked to talk to the manager about an incident earlier that morning with one of the trucks that almost hit him. The boss was the only one who had been out and back so far that morning. When I put the call on hold and called for him to pick up I told him what it was about. "Oh really" he said.

click That was me you fucking idiot, what the hell were YOU doing scooting between a 20 ton truck making fucking beeping noises in reverse and a loading dock? Fuck off! slam

*sniff* that still bring a tear to my eye for his eloquence.

[Legolamb]

I would hope that you'd have to get a certain number of complaints before any action is taken. One complaint could be a fluke, but if you got like 10 in a week, then...
Well yeah, I'd hope so too, but it doesn't seem like Mr Roboto's company are going out of there way to listen to his side of the story at the moment so that's why I asked.

[Rufus Xavier]

Hows my speling? Call 1-800-FUKOFFF

[blowero]

Well yeah, I'd hope so too, but it doesn't seem like Mr Roboto's company are going out of there way to listen to his side of the story at the moment so that's why I asked.
No, you misunderstand me. I wasn't questioning why you posted; I was literally offering my opinion that I "would hope" they do it that way.

If the company's policy is to only take action after a certain number of complaints, then having one complaint in his file isn't necessarily anything to worry about. If they want to discipline him after only one complaint, AND won't listen to his side of the story, then yeah - that'd be a problem. That would be a seriously fucked up way to run a company, though.

[blowero]

Hows my speling? Call 1-800-FUKOFFF
How's my math? Call 1-8000-FUCKYOU

[Legolamb]

No, you misunderstand me. I wasn't questioning why you posted; I was literally offering my opinion that I "would hope" they do it that way.
No, I did understand you correctly - we both think it shouldn't be a big deal and in a sane company it wouldn't be. I'm just making sure the OPs company is a sane company.

I'm obviously just not making myself particularly clear tonight (nothing new there, then ;) )

[blowero]

I'm just making sure the OPs company is a sane company.

I know.

[Tenar]

Bubba.....
I've never driven 90 MPH in my lifetime. You can't weave in and out of traffic in So. California unless you have a Death Wish & I know why the signals were installed on my steering column. I beleive the offended party was one of the Morons who persist to drive 55 MPH in the Fast Lane! I will usually go around these people ( weaving irratically in and out of traffic). Bogus!

Although unpopular, going 55 mph in the fast lane is not illegal. If you got out from behind a car going 55, went on for a bit, then moved back into the lane, fine. If you got out from behind the car, passed it, then cut in right in front of the slow person's front bumper in order to show contempt for said "Moron," that's another matter altogether. (Not saying that's what happened. I'm just saying that if it is, my sympathies would be with the person who turned you in. And, no, I do not go 55 in the fast lane.)

[stegon66]

Just curious about these so-called "fast lanes." I've never seen a fucking sign that says "Hey, this is the fast lane. It's okay to speed here." Or is it just wishful thinking on the part of leadfooted drivers?

[Loopydude]

sheit I been excremated

[Cheesesteak]

Although unpopular, going 55 mph in the fast lane is not illegal.Many jurisdictions have a "stay right except to pass" law. What that means is that regardless of the speed you're travelling, you can't just sit your ass in the left lane, you have to be passing someone.

That's "stay right except to pass" period. Not "stay right except to pass or if you're going the speed limit" or "stay right except to pass or just if you want to stop a leadfoot from speeding".

Are you passing someone at 55? Unlikely.

[danceswithcats]

Excremated? OK. I NOT burning your dog!

[Loopydude]

Mah drivin is exrematious...rethpec mah athoritay!!

[neuroman]

Just curious about these so-called "fast lanes." I've never seen a fucking sign that says "Hey, this is the fast lane. It's okay to speed here." Or is it just wishful thinking on the part of leadfooted drivers?
Unofficial rules of the road. If someone goes the speed limit or below in the left lane of a multi-lane highway or urban freeway it really bottles up traffic. The pattern in my city on a three lane freeway is typically:

Left lane : 5-15+ mph over
Middle lane : 0-10 mph over
Right lane : -5-0 mph under

[Jackmannii]

"Excremate" is actually a disrespectful term for one's spouse.

"I woulda played 18 holes on Saturday, but the excremate made me clean up the garage."

[Mr. Roboto]

Ino: I work for a well known Western Region Company. It's possible someone with a beef with my company received sick retribution by turning me in.

Jackmannii: not a trucker, I was driving a Volkswagon.

Neuroman: The negative impact is the "cloud of suspicion" when I check-out a vehicle from the motor pool.

Legolamb: This will not affect me in a direct way. I'll just be the jackass of the month for getting turned in.

Blowero: I was travelling at the speed of traffic, probably 70MPH at that time of day. The problem arises when slower traffic ignore staying in the right-hand lanes and gum up the left lanes.

[Rhubarb]

There are also laws against impeding the flow of traffic. A driver going below the posted speed limit in the left (passing) lane can be ticketed for this. In actual fact, my brother was given a warning for driving 5 over the limit when the rest of traffic was going 10-15 over, and he wasn't even in the left lane. What the cop said to him was basically "Kid, if you don't pick it up, you're gonna cause a wreck and screw up everybody's afternoon. Have a nice day." (para-phrased due to memory lapse)

[blowero]

Blowero: I was travelling at the speed of traffic, probably 70MPH at that time of day. The problem arises when slower traffic ignore staying in the right-hand lanes and gum up the left lanes.
See, here's what's bugging me about your story: You don't seem to actually know how fast you were going. You say, "probably 70 mph". Is it possible you were going faster than that? There's a phenomenon in which one becomes accustomed to whatever speed one is moving, so that it no longer feels "fast". So if you weren't looking at your speedometer (and I can only assume you weren't, since the only reference point you seem to have is the speed of the other traffic), you can't really know how fast you were going.

Maybe you were speeding just a teensy bit? :dubious:

[Mr. Roboto]

Blowero; I recall HOV's were passing me in the diamond lane so 70MPH would
be accurate within 5 MPH. That would mean HOV's were travelling in
excess of 70.

[blowero]

Blowero; I recall HOV's were passing me in the diamond lane so 70MPH would
be accurate within 5 MPH.

How do you figure that?

That would mean HOV's were travelling in
excess of 70.
So...?

[Mr. Roboto]

If I am traveling 70MPH in the furthest left lane and HOV or Carpool Vehicles are
passing me in the Diamond or Carpool Lane (California) Obviously travelling slightly faster than I, They would be in excess of 70MPH.

Is this Rocket Science?

[TellMeI'mNotCrazy]

Well considering that you make it seem as though your estimate of your own speed was based on the fact that HOV drivers were passing you, it's hardly clear cut. And if that wasn't your point, then why mention them at all?

[Mr. Roboto]

TellmeI'mnotCrazy, Blowero is hounding me about my speed that afternoon. My average speed was that of "The Flow of Traffic", occasionally,"The Flow" would pass slow motorists. I generally don't stare at the speedometer. Since I am driving a brightly colored Volkswagon with a "Hows My Driving" bumper Sticker, I've become the sacrificial lamb for the the "Flow'ers" passing the "Slowpokes".
Again, I would confess to driving 70MPH and I would deny driving 90MPH. At Times, vehicles in the carpool lane were passing me,so,lets try this again...for the last time...If I'm travelling 70 MPH and I'm being passed,these passing vehicles,it would be safe to say, are travelling at a speed greater than 70MPH. Possibly, 71,72,73,74,75,76 MPH?

[carnivorousplant]

How's my math? Call 1-8000-FUCKYOU

Pretty bad, Dude. :)

[jimpatro]

While I have called in ("snitched") speeders in school zones, Mr. Roboto's accuser's estimation of his speed is just as suspect. 90? How do they know? And on top of that they we're surely a bit peeved. That should add an extra 10mph to their recollection.

[blowero]

I generally don't stare at the speedometer.

Perhaps you should. Or at least glance at it occasionally.

Since I am driving a brightly colored Volkswagon with a "Hows My Driving" bumper Sticker, I've become the sacrificial lamb for the the "Flow'ers" passing the "Slowpokes".

Well that's your JOB. Sorry, but you can't use the speed of other drivers as an excuse for your own speeding. If you don't want to be held accountable for your driving, I suggest you quit your job and get another job that does not require you to uphold the same standards. If you are BEING PAID to do something, your employer has every right to demand that you do a BETTER job of it than the average Joe. If I got a job as a window washer, I wouldn't say, "Gee, this window's just as clean as the neighbor's window". Or if I got a job as a policeman, I'm not gonna say, "Well none of the other people standing around caught the crook either."

I mean, for Pete's sake, you've got a "How's My Driving" sticker on your car! It's not good enough just to "go with the flow of traffic". You're supposed to be obeying all the laws, and yes, that means doing a better job of it than all the other people on the road. Your company has in image to project, and you have to hold yourself to a higher standard than all the other imbeciles out there.

Again, I would confess to driving 70MPH and I would deny driving 90MPH. At Times, vehicles in the carpool lane were passing me,so,lets try this again...for the last time...If I'm travelling 70 MPH and I'm being passed,these passing vehicles,it would be safe to say, are travelling at a speed greater than 70MPH. Possibly, 71,72,73,74,75,76 MPH?
That's circular reasoning. You're basing your speed on the speed of the vehicles passing you, and you're basing THEIR speed on YOUR speed.

[blowero]

While I have called in ("snitched") speeders in school zones, Mr. Roboto's accuser's estimation of his speed is just as suspect. 90? How do they know? And on top of that they we're surely a bit peeved. That should add an extra 10mph to their recollection.
Oh, I agree. It could very well be an exaggeration. But I'm thinking he must have done something to catch the guy's attention. I've noticed that most people tend to underestimate how aggressive their driving is, especially when they're angry at another driver (which appears to be the case here). I've had people comment about things I did while driving that I felt were pretty tame, but obviously weren't from the other person's point of view.

[robotic_panda]

Since I am driving a brightly colored Volkswagon with a "Hows My Driving" bumper Sticker, I've become the sacrificial lamb for the the "Flow'ers" passing the "Slowpokes".

You aren't Geek Squad (http://www.geeksquad.com/main.asp) are ya? 'Cause I hear they get police escorts. ;)