Well the boyfriend and I have set a date...far, far away

[Anaamika]

Two years to be precise, March 2007.

But there's a good reason for it all. Since I was little I have always wanted a super-traditional Indian wedding without the nuisance of a super-traditional Indian guy. :D Well, my aunts have offered to pay for the entire wedding in India. It won't set them back much, it only works out to be $4 or $5,000 when you do the conversions, so they say. I said, even with a Chinese guy? And they said of course!

So March 2007 is going to be my traditional Indian wedding. Then in May 2007 we ourselves will pay for a completely traditional Chinese wedding. There will be no Western influence in either wedding, and I have to admit, that makes me very happy - it's good to touch one's roots on a day like this.

It's nice to have you guys to tell about it as we are not telling every member of the family yet. (My mother might just die of the excitement)! Thanks for listening to me!

[Telperien]

Cool! Congratulations!

What does a super-traditional Indian wedding entail, anyway? I get a feeling it's going to be fancyish.

[badbadrubberpiggy]

Congratulations! :-) Is it just me, or have there been a lot of Straight Dope engagements and weddings lately?

It's nice to know I'm not the only one 'round here with a long engagement. We got engaged at Thanksgiving, and won't be doing the deed until January 2007.


I would also like to know what a traditional Indian wedding entails!

[Telperien]

I think you're right. Lots of Dopers seem to be getting married or engaged.

A long engagement just seems rather romantic to me. I'm very impatient so I don't think I'll going that route when my turn comes. But I do like the idea of it.

[Eonwe]

Congrats!

My mom grew up in India (though is not Indian herself) and has been to quite a few weddings of her friends and shown me pictures; looks a lot more festive than 'go to church dressed in white and black' to me. Get lots of photos and post 'em!

[Anaamika]

A traditional Indian wedding contains all kinds of things. Here are the basics:

First there is the shagun, or gifts. The girl is not involved. The boy & his family brings gifts to her family.

Then there is the mangani, or engagement, with rings, and sweetmeats & ceremony.

Then there is the sangeet, sort of a bridal shower, with singing & dancing. Girls only, please.

Then the wedding comes. One on side, the girl and her family gets their house ready, decorates it, etc. On the other side the groom mounts a white horse and rides to wherever the bride is with the entire groom's party. This is called a baraat. In India, people sing & dance in the streets as they walk down the streets, random people join in, the groom's brother does the most dancing.

At the wedding, the bride's sisters (cousins, too) steal the groom's shoes. This is symbolic of never letting him leave, but if he wants them back he has to pay for them, either in money or small gifts. (I have a whole assortment of little rings, jewelery, clothes, that I received as being a bride's sister). But if the groom's brothers can steal them back first he doesn't have to pay.

The wedding ceremony occurs in the mandav. I'm not sure of the translatation but it is sort of a flower-decorated gazebo-type thing. They have a big party, then the bride is sent off with much tears, pomp and circumstance, back to the groom's house in a doli - a palanquin. Which I will insist up & down and left & right on having. They may try to foist a decorated car on me, I don'tknow. At the groom's house, they welcome her with prayer & auspicious omens such as breaking a coconut. The new family welcomes her with gifts and love.

There is much more. I am not even counting stuff I won't do, like having the priest cast the auguries, etc. But we will have the basics...and the most beautiful thing about India is we will have thousands of flowers. America just doesn't have the flower thing. I want so many flowers around me that I will be sneezing all day but I don't care.

As it slowly sinks in, I find myself more and more happy...and near tears! I must be the luckiest girl ever if my boyfriend is willing to do all this for me - and in one fell swoop, he gets to visit India which I'm dying for him to do and meet all my extended family.

They better just practice their English. ;)

[Anaamika]

Congrats!

My mom grew up in India (though is not Indian herself) and has been to quite a few weddings of her friends and shown me pictures; looks a lot more festive than 'go to church dressed in white and black' to me. Get lots of photos and post 'em!

I could never wear white on my wedding day. In both Indian & Chinese cultures white is the color for funerals! No, my Indian wedding dress will be blood-red, so I may choose the Chinese one to be emerald green, or perhaps I'll stick with the red.

[tdn]

I'm shouting through the big plate glass window.

Where are Simon and Garfunkel when you need them?

:(

[velvetjones]

Congratulations Anaamika it all sounds quite beautiful.

Have you seen the movie Monsoon Wedding? just curious.

I love the idea of not wearing white and all the flowers. So colorful.

I guess we'll have to wait 'til 2007 for pictures. :)

[Anaamika]

Have you seen the movie Monsoon Wedding? just curious.



No, I'm afraid I rarely watch those "Americanized-Indian" movies. I don't know what else to call them.

They strike a little too close to home most of the time.

[swampbear]

Congrats Anaamika. The traditional Indian wedding sounds like a huge festival. I usually hate being dragged to weddings but a traditional Indian wedding sounds like it would be a lot of fun to attend.

[Anaamika]

Congrats Anaamika. The traditional Indian wedding sounds like a huge festival. I usually hate being dragged to weddings but a traditional Indian wedding sounds like it would be a lot of fun to attend.

It is! Especially if you're not part of the immediate family but a friend, there's so much fun stuff to do!


I'm shouting through the big plate glass window.

Where are Simon and Garfunkel when you need them?



I'm not sure what this means but I'm thinking it's a compliment? Don't worry tdn, I still will cook rotis for you when you come over! How about aloo ki pranti, or bread with potato & seasoning cooked in!

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

Well the boyfriend and I have set a date...far, far away

Oh! :smack: For a minute there, I thought that Obi Wan Kenobi would be conducting the ceremony.... :D

[anu-la1979]

Congratulations!!!!

[Anaamika]

Oh! :smack: For a minute there, I thought that Obi Wan Kenobi would be conducting the ceremony.... :D

Now that would be cool. Especially if it was Ewan McGregor. *swoon* Or I don't mind Quigon, either, Liam Neeson. *double swoon*.

Not sure I should be doing that since it's my wedding I'm talking about.

[Shirley Ujest]

YAY!

All I know about indian weddings is from the lovely Monsoon Wedding, which I love. Feh.

You will web-cam this entire clambake for the rest of us White Bread Wedding types who wish they could have some kind of cultural panache to their lilly white world. Espcially the chick-only events.

And, since you brought it up, you are marrying a chinese guy..chinese guys are hot. So are indian, but I digress...we need pictures! Maybe of you, even :D.



Also, is a marquee in India:


a) Big Tent
b) A big car
c)A Royal title
d)A church sign
e)A funky spelling of an indian rapper.
f) None of the above.


:)

[Ponder Stibbons]

So, I'm out of the running? Damn!!

Oh well, even though my heart is broken, I wish you the best! ;)

[Anaamika]

YAY!

All I know about indian weddings is from the lovely Monsoon Wedding, which I love. Feh.

You will web-cam this entire clambake for the rest of us White Bread Wedding types who wish they could have some kind of cultural panache to their lilly white world. Espcially the chick-only events.

And, since you brought it up, you are marrying a chinese guy..chinese guys are hot. So are indian, but I digress...we need pictures! Maybe of you, even :D.



Also, is a marquee in India:


a) Big Tent
b) A big car
c)A Royal title
d)A church sign
e)A funky spelling of an indian rapper.
f) None of the above.


:)

I promise, my cousin is a HUGE techno-freak and he will probably want to record everything! My Chinese guy is very hot, with lovely almond eyes rather than slanted, and silvery-black hair. :D

Clambake?

And a marquee is probably some sort of rajah (king)! So, I'd love to have a rajah at my wedding. My family hails from rajahs, actually. (Well, my mother's side.)

And if you all insist, I will watch Monsoon Wedding.

[taxi78cab]

Congrats!!!

Let's have an Albany DopeFest/Wedding Shower for Anaamika! :D

[wisernow]

I am not sure whether it applies to Anaamika and her family, but most Indian weddings also have the bride and groom go around a sacred flame 7 times. While the whole business of the wedding is spread over a few days, with different ceremonies performed each day, the last and central process of the wedding takes about an hour or so where the bride and groom sit beside a sacred flame, in the mandap that Anaamika mentioned, and the priest chants specific shlokaas(holy verses). The walk around the flame is the high point after which the bride and groom are deemed married. It is also here that the groom puts red vermillion on the bride's head, which signifies that the woman is married.

[tdn]

I'm not sure what this means but I'm thinking it's a compliment? Don't worry tdn, I still will cook rotis for you when you come over! How about aloo ki pranti, or bread with potato & seasoning cooked in!

The reference is from The Graduate, where Dustin Hoffman tries to stop a wedding in progress to get the girl he loves.

But if I can't have you, than pass the food! ;)

[Anaamika]

I am not sure whether it applies to Anaamika and her family, but most Indian weddings also have the bride and groom go around a sacred flame 7 times. While the whole business of the wedding is spread over a few days, with different ceremonies performed each day, the last and central process of the wedding takes about an hour or so where the bride and groom sit beside a sacred flame, in the mandap that Anaamika mentioned, and the priest chants specific shlokaas(holy verses). The walk around the flame is the high point after which the bride and groom are deemed married. It is also here that the groom puts red vermillion on the bride's head, which signifies that the woman is married.

Well, I just skipped over all the grisly details. Figured my post was long enough. But the 7 times is one for each lifetime we will be together (note: I am not Hindu anymore but I don't mind, really) and we do have all the havan, and everything.

[overlyverbose]

So March 2007 is going to be my traditional Indian wedding. Then in May 2007 we ourselves will pay for a completely traditional Chinese wedding. There will be no Western influence in either wedding, and I have to admit, that makes me very happy - it's good to touch one's roots on a day like this.

It's nice to have you guys to tell about it as we are not telling every member of the family yet. (My mother might just die of the excitement)! Thanks for listening to me!

Congratulations! Does that mean you'll include the part where the groom rides in on a horse and everything?

I'm sorry - for some reason that really appeals to me.

[Anaamika]

Congratulations! Does that mean you'll include the part where the groom rides in on a horse and everything?

I'm sorry - for some reason that really appeals to me.

Oh yes, I love that too. He will definitely be on a horse.

[wisernow]

(note: I am not Hindu anymore but I don't mind, really) and we do have all the havan, and everything.
Then? And then why the Indian wedding? :confused:

[overlyverbose]

Oh yes, I love that too. He will definitely be on a horse.

Awesome. I wish my husband and I had had more time to do the full-blown traditional wedding. It meant a lot to his family that we included their traditions at all, but I would have loved to include more. We didn't even get to have the party the night before because we had the Western rehearsal dinner and the mendhi ceremony in the morning, which took all day. Then there were other things that we missed like the party my father-in-law had the night before the rehearsal dinner - I had to wait for my dad to get in because he was stuck in a snow storm. I didn't even get to do the Gouri puja before the wedding. My mother-in-law said she wants to do some of those ceremonies when we visit my husband's family in India next year. But it won't be the same. I'm so excited for you! Yay!

[Sunspace]

Congratulations, Anaamika! Sounds absolutely beautiful!

I'd renounce my white-bread suburban Anglo-ness for the beautiful colours of an Asian wedding, but cruel fate has thrown you into the arms of another. Looks like it's peanut-butter sandwiches again tonight.

:)

[Anaamika]

Then? And then why the Indian wedding? :confused:

Because I want it. Isn't that enough reason? Just because I am not Hindu neither changes my family nor does it make me not Indian.

[Anaamika]

Then? And then why the Indian wedding? :confused:
Here (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=301329) is a more detailed answer.

Thanks.

[Ephemera]

Congratulations again.

[FilmGeek]

Congrats. Engagement is fun, ain't it?

(just FYI Monsoon Wedding was directed by an Indian woman, totally independent and shot entirely in India in just one month)

[Shirley Ujest]

Now, since you are marrying a Hot Asian Guy you lucky devil what entails a chinese wedding? I gots to know.

[anu-la1979]

You can be an atheist and still be a Hindu, btw, so if Aanamika wants to have a traditional Hindu wedding there's no hypocrisy or contradiction. I'm not saying that Ms. A IS a Hindu Atheist but within Hinduism it happens to be possible.

When I get hitched I'm gonna wear me some yellow per Marathi customs. I adore North Indian and Guju weddings the best, though-very lively.

Anu

[Anaamika]

Now, since you are marrying a Hot Asian Guy you lucky devil what entails a chinese wedding? I gots to know.

I'm afraid I don't know much about it as the only other wedding I've been to in his family was half-Chinese/half-Jewish. I'll keep you guys posted. A lot of incense lighting and bowing, I'm sure. ;)

You can be an atheist and still be a Hindu, btw, so if Aanamika wants to have a traditional Hindu wedding there's no hypocrisy or contradiction. I'm not saying that Ms. A IS a Hindu Atheist but within Hinduism it happens to be possible.

I guess this is what I was trying to explain in the other thread. I am a Hindu atheist. Never thought of such a title for myself, but I am.

(and I thought you were married. Haven't you spoken of your husband?)

[Noone Special]

Well, well... how the mighty have fallen... :p Mazal Tov! -- you've been to a half-Jewish wedding, so you must know what this means!

Of course, two years is a long time. Things can happen... jus' saying, is all... ;) (hey, a guy's gotta have some hope!)

(seriously, I'm sure you'll still be overjoyed at the prospect when the time finally comes... and 30 years later. All the best!)

Dani

[Anaamika]

Of course I know what Mazel Tov means! That was a fun wedding, they broke the glass (a light bulb) and even put everybody in a chair and flung them up and down.

Well, not me. I didn't want to get hurt!

Thank you everyone!