View Full Version : Just got dumped - what do you do to cheer youself up?
03-14-2005, 12:34 AM
After 2 months of what seemd like beginnings of a great realtionship, my girlfriend emailed* me today, at work no less, letting me know that its over. :(
Now, I'm pretty much over the feeling of being gutted with a blunt spoon (for the moment anyway) and my usual treatment of hard bike rides & lots of Futurama seems to be keeping my mind occupied.
What do my fellow Dopers do when they get into this mess? What pulls you out of the blues?
*this is wat really annoyed me - I thought I deserved better than this.
03-14-2005, 01:02 AM
Have you tried drunken sex with strangers?
Who knows, you might wake up next to Mrs Right (or course you'll have to be reminded of her name before the romance can bloom)
03-14-2005, 01:07 AM
I get drunk and watch funny movies. Works for me.
03-14-2005, 01:09 AM
Snack food, music the ex hates, and physical activity.
03-14-2005, 06:44 AM
After my last relationship ended I found that going to the gym and punching the hell out of the punch bag did wonders. A trip to Egypt helped too.
I found alcohol to be quite a bad idea. I went a little overboard with it. Although I may not have ended up with my fiance if I hadn't.
03-14-2005, 06:54 AM
This my sound like a bad idea but it work really, REALLY well for me.
The darkest things you can find: compleatly non romance based horror; satanic violent comedy; dark, fun music (cannibul rights works well for me); hard physical work; strong black coffee with no sugar; etc. Enjoy being sick and twisted for a while! (and a bit of Tim Burton never gos astray).
If you write this is a good time to do so (same goes for other art forms) some really dark odd things can come out of your mind - leave this way! When you write it down don't clean it up or make it sound pretty and just (if you do you will wreck it). Remember - no one will ever see it unless you want them to.
After wallowing in this for a while make yourself look really, really good and go out and get laid.
Then get back to work.
Most Important rule: DON'T WATCH ROMANTIC COMEDIES!!!!!!! that's just suicide.
BTW, I've been dumped in an SMS! Now that's depressing.
03-14-2005, 06:56 AM
that's ment to 'works' in the first sentence.
03-14-2005, 07:00 AM
ok after reading over that I can see about 20 mistakes. just assume the obvious mistake and put it down the the fact that it's 12:15 am and I got up early!
03-14-2005, 07:07 AM
P.S. Drinking alone is a bad idea! It's depressing at the best of times.
03-14-2005, 08:19 AM
I buy new underwear, the happiest stuff I can find. "And he'll never see this, and he'll never see this, and he'll never see..."
But I'm a chick, so YMMV
03-14-2005, 08:45 AM
You can get happy again?
03-14-2005, 09:04 AM
Do all the fun stuff you love an that your now ex-SO hated.
I was involved with this one guy for 5 years. (We were best friends for one year, dated for 2 years, and then lived together for another 2 years.) We had a lot of tastes in common, but we had our differences, too. He absolutely hated--and I mean HATED--a lot of classic soul/R&B stuff, including the Pointer Sisters, whose recordings I grew up with and loved.
So, when we broke up, guess what I did almost non-stop for almost a week? Yup--I blasted my Pointer Sisters CDs. I threw the last of his crap out to the "Neutron Dance" and redecorated to "Be There".
Do lots of neat stuff that you can do comfortably without a date. Take up some new activity that you've always been interested in but somehow never did. Meet new people, go new places, do something different that appeals to you.
Oh, and I echo the advice other people have given for staying physically active.
03-14-2005, 09:14 AM
Oh, and you could always post to the latest "I'm Single" SDMB thread. At the very least, that'll get your mind off your ex-SO and on to other people you could meet.
03-14-2005, 09:31 AM
In my case a drunken night out with the girls always worked. The usual plan was to wear something tight and low cut and dance energetically.
Alternatively, watching "Empire Records", "The Wizard of Oz" or "Enter the Dragon" and a tub of icecream helped.
Listen to happy music- not depressing songs.
03-14-2005, 09:49 AM
Drinking, drinking, drinking, drinking, drinking and then drinking some more.
03-14-2005, 10:10 AM
Listen to happy music- not depressing songs.
I feel just the opposite, actually. I find that while happy music makes me forget about the dumping, the thoughts are still there when the song's over. I like to listen to really, REALLY despressing music. It helps me get everything back in perspective when I listen to someone singing about something that's worse than my own situation. Then I can move on.
Alternatively, there's that small group of songs that are about feeling sad, but with a positive look to the future. Colin Hay's "I'll Leave the Light On" is a perfect example of this. These are good.
03-14-2005, 10:27 AM
Do everything that you enjoy that s/he didn't. Eat everything that you enjoy that s/he didn't. Savor small personal behaviors that you avoided because they annoyed him/her. I was dumped recently and after the pain that was specifically related to rejection abated (see above) I came to realize that I am overall happier post-dump than I was pre-dump. (Go ahead. I don't offer straight lines like that every day.)
03-14-2005, 02:07 PM
Beer and a rebound guy.
Works every time.
03-14-2005, 02:14 PM
I've never tried to get happy afterward. I've found that wallowing in self-pity until I can't do it any more gets me there -- particularly with vodka and "The Wall" (there's no better soundtrack for an evening of sniveling misogyny).
03-14-2005, 02:28 PM
Thanks guys, a few of those brought a smile to my face.
I must have done about 35km on the bike yesterday & had a long talk with one
of my closest friends. Still a bit down but not out :)
I'm taking the day off to go for a bushwalk & get some perspective.
03-14-2005, 02:36 PM
My girlfriend and I broke up about 8 months after she moved in with me. She moved away and promptly got into another serious relationship. I kept myself cheery by hanging out with my friends whom she hated and by making messes and painting rooms in my house colors I knew she'd hate.
Also, it helped thinking about what an awful person she was, lingering on all the bad times we had and completely ignoring the good. A healthy amount of beer and buffalo wings also help mend the wounds.
Try to enjoy being single. It's a sad but true fact that more people will be interested in you if you're not looking for anyone.
03-25-2005, 02:00 AM
God, it feels so good.
Make an effigy of her, just to burn it.
Tell yourself all the horrible things she did... when you start to long for her, your appropriate response is "remember that time she did X? forget that bitch"
Dogpile on Turk for using the word bitch in
03-25-2005, 02:25 AM
Listen to Sparklehorse's Apple Bed on a continuous loop... fall into the double helical, downward spiral and mine its singularity--pass into its black bile and purify yourself. Get it out of your system and be generous to yourself. Hold onto what is useful, but forgive.
03-25-2005, 02:45 AM
I once quit my job, sold my house, and lived in my truck/friends houses/South American hostels for six months. It wasn't necessarily all a response to getting dumped, but I wouldn't have done it if she'd stayed with me. Thanks Kathleen, if you ever read this - I wouldn't trade that time for anything in the world.
03-25-2005, 05:32 AM
Wait a year.
I once quit my job, sold my house, and lived in my truck/friends houses/South American hostels for six months. ...Thanks Kathleen
Kind of a shock to see my ex-GF's name there, though it's hardly an uncommon name... (Is she by any chance from a mid-western state and gone to an Ivy League college and a grad school in UK?)
And sorry to hear what happened, Vagus. I know how you feel.
03-25-2005, 09:07 AM
music the ex hates
Not just music but anything (s)he hated...anything you put a kibosh on while you were together.
Essentially reminding yourself of the good side of being single.
03-25-2005, 09:13 AM
Xander Harris: I just wanna lie down and listen to country music: the music of pain.
03-25-2005, 09:36 AM
The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
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