Fool Me Once, I Call You a Sonofabitch

[Eve]

About a year ago, I was approached on Madison Avenue by a respectable-looking, well-spoken man who gave me a plausible and complex story about why he needed to borrow $20 for a cab, and how he'd mail it right back to me tomorrow. Well, I was 75% sure I was being had, but the story was so good--as was his act--that I erred on the side of the angels and gave him a $20 and my business card.

Needless to say, I never saw that $20 again, and was furious that a streetsmart New Yorker like myself could be sucked like a rube.

So, tonight, the same guy comes up to me and starts handing me the same sob story! He got five seconds into it before I exclaimed loudly, "Say, you're the same sonofabitch who scammed me outta twenty bucks last year!" Well! He got a very chagrined "oops!" look on his face and took off like a rabbit (I hope, right under the wheels of a truck).

It was worth the $20 to be able to call him a sonofabitch to his face and see his reaction.

[kung fu lola]

I would've just given him the $20 the first time, and assumed I'd never see it again.

I would have done the same as you the second time, though.

[Maastricht]

And not a cop in sight when you needed one, surely.

[picunurse]

What luck! Wasn't it worth the first $20 to see that reaction?

[Eve]

What luck! Wasn't it worth the first $20 to see that reaction?

It really was: the combination of shame, chagrin and panic was well worth the $20, as was the sight of him scurrying like a rat into traffic.

[Tuckerfan]

So what was his sob story?

[Otto]

I had something similar lo these many years ago, shortly after I moved to Madison. This woman came up to me while I was sitting in my car and told me a sob story about needing a couple bucks to buy a bus ticket to Milwaukee. There were more details and I was young and kind-hearted then so I gave her a couple bucks. A week or so later she approached me on the street and gave me the same story. I shamed her, but apparently not enough that she didn't continue approaching me about once a month for the next couple of years (either she failed to recognize me or she got off on the shaming). Once when I was with a friend who worked at a bank, where it turns out she had an account with a sizable balance. He really shamed her and she seemed to have vanished from town shortly thereafter. I still kinda hate her though.

[MaryEFoo]

I was having some obvious car trouble in the Safeway parking lot when I got approached by a nice-seeming woman with a British accent. She got $20 and wrote down my address so she could mail it back to me.

Then she said, in a cheerful-cautionary tone of voice, "You wouldn't give your home address to a stranger, would you?" And instead of assuring her she was obviously trustworthy, which by the politeness rules I was supposed to do, I just friendlily said, "No, my work!".

And I had given her my work address, sort of out of general-principles damage control. It is possible it saved me from finally getting home and finding burglar tracks.

[ioioio]

I was approached in a mini-mart by a teenaged girl asking if I would contribute to her campaign for homecoming queen. I politely declined. About a year later -- same mini-mart, same girl, same story.

Another popular story in Memphis is the "missionaries stranded in Memphis on their way to New Mexico" story. For awhile you couldn't step out of your car without being approached by a stranded missionary. I eventually started telling them that God obviously wanted his missionaries to stay in Memphis

[Eve]

I was approached in a mini-mart by a teenaged girl asking if I would contribute to her campaign for homecoming queen. I politely declined. About a year later -- same mini-mart, same girl, same story.

And thanks to you, that poor girl will never become Homecoming Queen. She'll still be out there in her 70s, like Miss Havisham, her Homecoming hopes fading . . .

[Ukulele Ike]

The one I really like is when the guy with the vaguely foreign accent comes up to you and asks you to help him find a particular address, and says he can pay you for your assistance, and flashes a wad of cash that'd choke a yak.

[F. U. Shakespeare]

I live just outside Baltimore, where I encounter 'stranded traveler' scammers all the time. They often start by asking if they can get a ride somewhere, and the request for money comes as a compromise to the original goal, as if they're settling for their second choice.

A more organized libretto is the 'stranded church bus' full of children -- the bus is never in sight, but the requester has impressive ID proving he's with the church. (FWIW, I once encountered an honest stranded church bus. I was staying at a cheap motel in my home state (West Virginia). A bus limped into the parking lot with a badly squealing engine belt. I walked over with a can of Belt-Ease, and offered to spray it on the belt. They were surprised (I'm white, and they were black), and a little hesitant, but very effusively grateful when it worked).

I had a real streak the other night: in one half-hour shopping trip in the suburb I live in, I got hit up four times. Two of them were simple beggars, although one had a sign reading "From West Virginia", (maybe he was on some sort of tour?) The other two were stranded travelers. When the second one started her spiel, I rolled my eyes and asked, "OK, let's have it, where are you trying to get to?" She turned around and walked away without even telling me.

But they all look like amateurs compared to this (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=4475116&highlight=scam#post4475116) guy.

[Trunk]

The ole stranded traveler.

When I first moved to Baltimore, I was approached by a guy who needed $5 for a bus to get back to his wife and kids in the county. He told me that if I wanted, his pickup truck was a couple of blocks away and he had tools in it and he'd give me some nice tools if I gave him the $5.

He was also neat, and polite, and totally sincere.

It's funny how the second before the bill leaves your hand you're like 99% sure the guy is genuine, and the second after it leaves your hand you're 100% sure you've been had.

I know a couple bartenders who get it a lot. . .guy comes in around midnight, "oh, I came up from Columbia with my friends and they took off and I need $20 for a cab to get home."

The worst panhandling I ever saw though was a 5 year old kid trying to sell me a balloon for "school" or something. He was just standing in the middle of a sidewalk trying to sell me this one balloon he had. No literature. No adult with him. Nothing printed on the balloon. Nothing.

I asked him where his mom was and he told me -- I'm dead serious -- to go fuck myself. I'm sure it was some junkie's kid.

I also paid a junkie to rake my leaves one day. He got halfway done and started walking off and I yelled at him and he told me he'd come back to finish.

I'm a lot more savvy now. When I got to B-more, they saw me coming.

[neuroman]

I once ran into one of these street scammers in London town. She had gone the whole nine yards, with convincing "blood" on her face, nervous, panicked looks, and a story about how she needed money to catch a train/cab to her mother's house to get away from her abusive boyfriend. We offered to call the police and she declined, but continued to ask for money anyway. She got none from me but someone I was with gave her £10.

[Gaudere]

I see the scammers again all the time. There was:

1) The young girl whose boyfriend dumped her at Navy Pier so she needed CTA fare to get back home (I confonted her when she asked me for money again--same story, damn, girl, get better boyfriends ;)--and she just said "no, that wasn't me", looked aside and hastened off.) She was impeccably clean and expensively dressed so I kind of think she's just getting extra spending money.

2) The woman who needs money to visit her son who just got back from the peace corp--apparently she hadn't gotten enough since she was still there with the same story a week later.

3) The guy in a security uniform who shows his ID and says he works at the building he stands outside (the building changes) who lost his wallet and needs $2 for the El. Now really, if you work there wouldn't your co-workers front you a couple bucks? You would prefer to hit up strangers on the street?

[bouv]

The one I really like is when the guy with the vaguely foreign accent comes up to you and asks you to help him find a particular address, and says he can pay you for your assistance, and flashes a wad of cash that'd choke a yak.

Well, call me a rube, but where's the scam? OK, I understand the chances of any of that money landing in my hands are nill, but what's two minutes of my time to give these guys directions? Do they take pleasure in watching people give street directions to people who don't need them? Will they run of and say,

"Foo! We already knew how to get to 5th ave! Later, sucka!"
:confused:

The only possibilty I see is if they want me to get in their car, or get into my car, which I think you'd have to be a pretty big idiot to do...which means I'd probably do it.

[Weirddave]

I like people begging money for food. If it's outside a fast food place, I usually ignore them, but once inside I'll buy them a hamburger or somethinig, and on my way out I'll silently hand it to them. Some of the looks you get are priceless!

[swampbear]

I have "Looking For Work" guy that stands at the bottom of the same expressway ramp every Saturday and Sunday. He's holding a sign that says "Broke, Homeless, Looking For Work." He's never there during the week just weekends. I've also seen him in the little convenience store about a block away buying beer and cigarettes during the week. I'm starting to get a little suspicious. :dubious:

[Ukulele Ike]

Well, call me a rube, but where's the scam?
See the first scene of The Sting (1973) -- the big-envelope-of-money-down-the-pants deal that Robert Redford and Robert Earl Jones pull off.

Yes, they're STILL working that one.

[plnnr]

See the first scene of The Sting (1973) -- the big-envelope-of-money-down-the-pants deal that Robert Redford and Robert Earl Jones pull off.

Yes, they're STILL working that one.

"Say, is that a yak-choking wad of cash in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"

[violacrane]

There's a woman who claims to need "coach fare to escape the abusive boyfriend" who works the main road near me. The first time I had no money and wasn't really taken in but gave her a sympathetic hearing anyway. The second time I gave her a curt brush off and saw her go inot the betting shop not five minutes later. Yeah Right.

[Nutty Bunny]

I met my husband about 8 months after moving to Troy, NY and he lived on 2nd St., near Russell Sage (not a great neighborhood...not a great city, for that matter). After walking me to my car one night, a homeless person came up to us and asked me for any money I could spare. Well, I opened up my car door, sat my purse down on the seat and dug some money out.

After he left, now-husband looked at me, open-mouthed for a bit, then said, "Could you....maybe....not....do that again??!?"

I'm from a town of about 300 people, what the hell do I know??

[liirogue]

See the first scene of The Sting (1973) -- the big-envelope-of-money-down-the-pants deal that Robert Redford and Robert Earl Jones pull off.

Yes, they're STILL working that one.
Explain for those of us that still don't get it, please

[Fanny May]

A similar thing happened to me.
But I never lost money.
A guy came to the door, said he was visiting his mom across the street, who said I knew her (he offered no names, was a quick spieler) and said he'd run out of gas in his SUV and just needed $20 to get back home to a tony suburb nearby.
I said I had a can of gas in my garage, but when I came back with it he was gone.

About 4 months later he tried again, this time saying he had a flat and would buy a can of flat fixer at the corner store.
Only this time I quickly asked which house his mother lived in, which he dodged by continuing with more of his story, then I asked where his SUV was and he said around the corner. I said, "C'mon, I'll go with you. And he froze, sayinig 'What??'. I said I was parked that way and had a can of flat fixer in my trunk.
He started to back away and I told him "Your mother doesn't live here, you have no fancy SUV, you live in no fancy suburb, you are a common thief." He was backing away so fast he fell down, so I went inside.

[mack]

My big getting scammed episode happened when my friend and I were riding our bicycles down the California coast when we were 20. A couple of New Jersey boys their first time out west. We were on the outskirts of Malibu, by the side of the road. A guy pulls up in an old car, gets out, and tells us this story about how he's in the Navy and needs to get up to San Francisco by the next morning or else he's going to be arrested and who will take care of his boy?

Cue the boy with a doleful expression.

We were resistant at first so the guy then takes off his watch and offers to sell it to us for whatever we can spare. He even has a receipt showing the thousands of dollars he paid for it! So my friend and I each give the guy $20, he gives us the watch and the receipt and he takes off.

Of course the watch was a cheap knockoff.

And I can't remember what the fate of the boy would have been had he made his ship anyway or if we even considered it.

[Kalhoun]

I always assume I'm being scammed. Once it was by a man with a baby in Washington DC. I gave him $5. The other was a drunk on a train during the holidays. I gave him a $10.

Neither offered to pay me back. I thought that part of Eve's story was a nice touch!

[AngelicGemma]

Where I used to live, at the local bus station there were always people with sob stories asking for money. It got to the point where they were making announcements not to give these people money.

[Clothahump]

I get hit up in the grocery store parking lot at least once a month by someone whose car is dead and they're short on cash and need only $21.47 (or some other exact amount) to go buy a water pump and install it.

The last time, it just so happened that I had some spare time on my hands, so I went into the store, then watched him hit up several more people, at least three of whom gave him money. I told all three of them that they had been scammed. We got the management of the store involved, they called the cops, the joker gets hauled off in cuffs because he had warrants.

Made my day.

[nivlac]

This is why I don't give handouts on the street anymore. Some years back at the entrance of a subway station, someone approached me with a sad story. He just got into town, someone was supposed to meet him and take him to his living space, so he's hungry and stranded in the big city with no money. He wanted some money for fare and food, and promised to pay me right back when he meets up with his contact. He looked pathetic, so I gave him $10 and my business card where he can send me his repayment. Of course, he never did. A few months later, I saw him at the same location singing the same sad song to someone else. It was a $10 lesson for me. Now, I only give to charitable organizations that I know well.

[Campion]

When I was in school in Chicago, I got hit up fairly regularly, usually by women who needed the money to get to the shelter. I offered to drive a woman there once. She scowled at me and I realized -- she knows she's lying, I know she's lying, she knows I know she's lying, but she's now mad because I've called her on it!

Then there were the people with the "I've lost my wallet" scam in front of the cathedral. Guy hit me up on Monday; he tried again on Tuesday. I said, "you got me yesterday." He grinned and said, "Oh. Sorry. See you later."

One of my schoolmates told me that a woman who lived in his building begged for a living. She would get up in the morning, put on her goin' beggin' clothes, then go out and beg all day. She made enough to live quite well, thank you.

Then there's a newsletter that homeless people sell (the Chicago-ites will remember the name -- it escapes me now). The ones selling the "new" copies are legit -- but other people will pick up the discards out of the trash or off the ground and try to sell them as if they, too, are legit.

I miss Chicago. LA doesn't have nearly the same quality of scam artist, at least in my preferred venues.

[KRC]

I've seen the various scammers (a new scam sob tale is that you're raising money for your relative's funeral) but what's with the pawn shop scam? I once had a young man approach me in front of a pawn shop, hold up a leather jacket, and say that he needed money to take his girlfriend to the hospital so he was trying to pawn the jacket. The catch was that the store wouldn't take the jacket without an ID and he didn't have one. So could I pawn it using my ID and then give him the money?

I just told him I didn't have an ID and moved on. I thought he might be fencing stolen merchandise.

[pinkfreud]

I generally assume that strangers who have sob stories and ask for money are con artists. Every now and then, my cynicism has been challenged, though.

A few years ago, a young man came over to me in a parking lot. The usual spiel: "I need $5 for gasoline, got to get home soon, my baby is in the car and she's getting chilly," and so on and so forth. Well, he really did have a baby in his car, so I forked over a fiver. He insisted on getting my address so he could pay me back. I gave him my business card.

Two days later, I received an envelope at my business address. Inside the envelope was a twenty-dollar bill wrapped in a sheet of paper that just said "Thanks, and God bless you."

[Otto]

And thanks to you, that poor girl will never become Homecoming Queen. She'll still be out there in her 70s, like Miss Havisham, her Homecoming hopes fading . . . I had no idea Miss Havisham even wanted to be Homecoming Queen!

[Teelo]

I generally assume that strangers who have sob stories and ask for money are con artists. Every now and then, my cynicism has been challenged, though.

A few years ago, a young man came over to me in a parking lot. The usual spiel: "I need $5 for gasoline, got to get home soon, my baby is in the car and she's getting chilly," and so on and so forth. Well, he really did have a baby in his car, so I forked over a fiver. He insisted on getting my address so he could pay me back. I gave him my business card.

Two days later, I received an envelope at my business address. Inside the envelope was a twenty-dollar bill wrapped in a sheet of paper that just said "Thanks, and God bless you."
So, what I gather so far is that for every 25 or so people, 1 of them will actually be legit.

With a society like this, its a wonder i'm still alive.

[Marlitharn]

I've seen the various scammers (a new scam sob tale is that you're raising money for your relative's funeral) but what's with the pawn shop scam? I once had a young man approach me in front of a pawn shop, hold up a leather jacket, and say that he needed money to take his girlfriend to the hospital so he was trying to pawn the jacket. The catch was that the store wouldn't take the jacket without an ID and he didn't have one. So could I pawn it using my ID and then give him the money?

I just told him I didn't have an ID and moved on. I thought he might be fencing stolen merchandise.
Yep. Thief steals jacket, unwitting Good Samaritan uses I.D. to pawn jacket for thief. Rightful owner/police find jacket, pawn shop owner gives police the name and address of person who pawned it. I'm not saying the police would show up and drag you away in handcuffs; any cop with half a brain would realize your story is credible. But it doesn't get them any closer to catching the thief.

[FriarTed]

I'll give spare change, but if ya want paper...

tell a joke, sing a song, play an instrument, do some routine- heck, it doesn't have to be good, just make an effort!

I always give at least a buck to street musicians. Or obviously homeless people who have a pet.

[lieu]

My daughter and I filled up her little red wagon with the cookie dough buckets neighbors had order last night and made our deliveries. I got a call shortly thereafter from one who couldn't understand why I hadn't told her they still owed $10 bucks on their purchase. I have a hard enough time asking anyone for money even if it's due.

How someone could ask with the intent to deceive is simply beyond me. I know it happens but to me that mindset is just unimaginable.

[Rilchiam]

Explain for those of us that still don't get it, please

And a bump for those of us who continue to fail to get it.

[Cat Whisperer]

I'll give spare change, but if ya want paper...

tell a joke, sing a song, play an instrument, do some routine- heck, it doesn't have to be good, just make an effort!
<snip>
That's my MO as well. I donate to the official charities, and will give money to people who are making an effort to earn it. Nobody gets money for nothing. Not me, not them.

[E. Thorp]

At the Philadelphia airport, in my more naïve days, I withdrew $20 from an ATM and gave it to a guy with a good story. :smack:

(Not so many problems in airports since 9/11...I suspect beggars and con artists are more frowned upon today.)

Once I lived in Paris, in a tiny rooftop garret (converted servants' quarters) in an affluent neighborhood. One day I was approached on the street by a man who asked for money to help him get home to Pau (in the very south of France, a long expensive train ride away). In my strong American accent I started my polite refusal, saying "I'm a student..." and he immediately said "say no more, no problem, I'll ask someone else." I guess students' reputation for poverty, or for spending all their money on beer, precedes them.

[dearissues]

I live in a rural area far, far away from any big cities. I have never been approached on the street for money by someone that I didn't know by name. I've seen 3 homeless people in my entire life -- they were all holding signs that said, "Will work for food." I bought them something to eat and I didn't get any dirty looks -- they were extremely gracious. This is one of the *many* reasons I couldn't and never will live in the city -- too much deception (crime, etc., etc.). I'm way too trusting, also. I'd be either broke or murdered within a week. Bleh, who needs cities anyways? :D

[Shirley Ujest]

Things that are probably a scam:

The woefully misplaced inner city kid in a lilly white neighborhood shopping center selling candy bars for some youth group or church thing outside a supermarket store. The candy is usually stale and though it has some offical fundraiser info in the wrapper, can be easily purchased by any group. ( I don't have a cite for this, but I read it in the paper, same thing for the next one.)

The people with the buckets at intersections collecting change for Women in Abusive Situations or Won't Someone Think of the Children( whatever) are 99% a scam. Yeah, they are well dressed and Bless you, but a scam either way. I like to save my Canadian Change or Chucky Cheese tokens for these people. :cool:


If I ever encounter first hand ( It's always been my friends who get marked. ) a conman, I plan to say, " Oh, how awful for you. Unfortunately, I don't have any cash. Do you accept Paypal?"

[ivylass]

I stopped once at a gas station to fill up in north Florida. A guy approached me, saying he had a job interview in Miami in two hours and he was out of gas and could I give him a few bucks. He showed me his ID and his painter's union card. I told him I had no money and he thanked me and walked away.

Either this guy was a con artist, or had no idea Miami is a six hour drive from where I was.

I always feel a tiny bit guilty about turning people away. There's always that slim possibility that someone truly needs help, right?

[ioioio]

I was approached by a couple of neighborhood kids (7 or 8 years old) who said they were selling cookies for the Girl Scouts. "How much?" I asked. "Fifty cents," the replied. I agreed to a purchase, and the kids ran home, then returned with three Oreos in a baggy.
Of course I don't condone lying, stealing and grifting in children, but it was kind of cute, so I let it go. I did not eat the cookies -- og only knows where their grubby little hands had been.

[Triskadecamus]

I have a sign I use to identify myself when meeting Dopers in public places. It says, "Will debate for food." I haven't ever gotten offers of money, but several folks wanted to discuss my need for more appropriate self help skills.

I ask if they have any food on them.

The answer is always a rather haughty "No."

"So," I answer, "You want a freebie, on the subject of whether I am pulling my weight in the world, huh?"

The looks are worth all the money I never get for food.

Tris
----------------------------
The Moral Majority, and Fleet's Enemas both come from Lynchburg VA. It's a fact, not an opinion.

[Idlewild]

Things that are probably a scam:

The woefully misplaced inner city kid in a lilly white neighborhood shopping center selling candy bars for some youth group or church thing outside a supermarket store. The candy is usually stale and though it has some offical fundraiser info in the wrapper, can be easily purchased by any group. ( I don't have a cite for this, but I read it in the paper, same thing for the next one.)

The people with the buckets at intersections collecting change for Women in Abusive Situations or Won't Someone Think of the Children( whatever) are 99% a scam. Yeah, they are well dressed and Bless you, but a scam either way. I like to save my Canadian Change or Chucky Cheese tokens for these people. :cool:


If I ever encounter first hand ( It's always been my friends who get marked. ) a conman, I plan to say, " Oh, how awful for you. Unfortunately, I don't have any cash. Do you accept Paypal?"

We have a pair of kids who work the subway line I ride. They've been doing it for a couple of years now, selling candy to "Raise money for the YMCA basketball team." Uhuh. No ID, no receipts, just a big ol' wholesale box of M&Ms. I think they make pretty good money off it but I hope they're going to school so they can get a good honest sales job when they grow up ;)

It's such a transparent scam that I don't really have the heart to be mad at them.

[Ukulele Ike]

And a bump for those of us who continue to fail to get it.

Whoops, sorry, scamfans....haven't paid a visit to MPSIMS in a few days (and frankly I'm surprised some other wiseacre didn't pop in to explain this one).

So you approach your mark and ask for assistance finding an address -- in a thick Hungarian accent -- saying you have this enormous amount of money you need to deliver to a guy there. The mark's eyes pop when you produce a huge bankroll (a C-note wrapped around a wad of ones). Hint that you'll be EXTREMELY GRATEFUL if he helps you.

While the mark is rubbing his palms and looking for his Hagstrom's, your confederate walks up and asks what's going on. He tells you you shouldn't be carrying so much money in your pockets here in the Big Bad City. "I can't stick around to help you, but let me show you what you should do to avoid grifters and brigands....put your dough in this big envelope -- hey, buddy, if you're going to help him, better let me have YOUR wallet, too, to keep it safe -- and shove it down the front of your trousers like THIS. See? Here's your envelope back, so long."

Your buddy has tucked the envelope with the phoney bankroll and the mark's wallet down the front of his pants, but removed a dummy envelope stuffed with Ivory soap wrappers. He heads off to your criminal headquarters while you ditch the mark ("Here, hold all da money vhile I go und powder mein nose."), meet up with your pal, and divide the spoils.

You should be able to pull this one off four or five times a day, in different parts of town.

[bat312]

Yeah…I live in the city and I have seen them all.

At the Bar - Businessman lent his car to his son. Wallet in car. Needs money for train. This guy was working the bars in the south loop area. I am always at the bar, so I have seen this guy. I have actually had to tell bartenders to not give this guy money.

At Work – Well dressed man stands in front of someone else’s car that is double parked with flashers on. Stops people on street asking for gas money. Does this until car owner comes back and drives off. He then moves to the next car he finds. This guy worked the State and Oak Street area for about 5 years. I have seen this guy ask the actual car owner.

2 guy in a van selling speakers/TVs/Camcorders etc. If you ever want to buy a box of rocks, you can find them all over downtown.

I did once give 10 to a guy who never sent it back. So now I explain that he ruined it for the rest of the desperate people.

I see multiple beggars ever day. Because I feel bad for the “real” desperate folks, I now have my very own “homeless guy”. He has been at the 7/11 buy work for about 8 years now. I can honestly tell beggars that I have already got one. While traveling I tell beggars that I’m saving for my homeless guy back home.

Here are the rules.

1. You can’t ask me for something every time you see me.
2. You have to bless me if I give you money or cigarettes.
3. You have to chitchat with me even when I am not giving you money.
4. I will give you a buck, when I feel like it.

I use this guy to make sure I will go to heaven some day. He makes maybe 20 to 40 a year off me, but I can sleep at night.

The girl who managed the building across the way once tried to hire the beggar from in front of the grocery store. He worked half a day and told her that he made more money at less effort begging. Lazy bum.

Campion - Street Wise is the name of the homeless newspaper in Chicago.

In “The Sting” tough guy shows how to hid money in underwear so it won’t be found if you are robbed. Here give me your money…you put it in a handkerchief like this…and stick it in your pants like this…(switch hankies while in pants)…here your hanky back now stick it in your shorts.

[Gary "Wombat" Robson]

"Say, is that a yak-choking wad of cash in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"
Band name! ("And now, fresh from Nepal, where they opened for the Rolling Stones and Dolly Parton, please welcome Yak-Choking Wad of Cash!!!")

I remember back when I first started traveling for business. I was 20, and couldn't get a credit card in my own name. The company gave me a company American Express card. My boss called me at home one evening and asked me to catch a flight first thing the next morning to Boston. I had virtually no cash, and there were no ATMs back then. I packed and got on the plane.

When I arrived in Boston, I went up to the first cab in line and asked if he accepted American Express. He said, "Sure, get in." A half-hour later, I told him I was really pleased that he took credit cards. He said, "Credit card? I thought you meant American Express Traveler's Checks!" I explained my problem, and he said he'd go ahead and take me the rest of the way to Bedford and I could mail him the money. It was a $50 ride, and I mailed him $100 as soon as I got home with a note thanking him and telling him the other $50 was to cover the next guy who stiffed him.

[ivylass]

When I was in high school and as a cashier worked in a grocery store, we were warned about "gypsies."* Apparently they would come up with a $20 and ask for change out of the register, and I didn't quite understand how they did it, but they would keep switching back and forth until they walked away with about $50.

I never got stung, and I hope someone can explain how the scam works.

*Yes, I know gypsies is not a politically correct term. But that's how they were referred to back then. I mean no offense.

[Danalan]

I'm a huge guy, and can be extremely intimidating even when I'm not trying. I'd always been tempted to respond angrily to obnoxious beggars. I tried it just once, and while the results were impressive, I didn't feel so good about it later.

I had just started working at my current position in downtown Seattle. When I'm not on the road, I'm not with clients, so I can be pretty casual at work -- jeans and a nice shirt. I wear my leather biker's jacket when it's chilly or cold.

So this one morning I'm walking across the Wells Fargo building plaza, when a particularly scruffy looking guy approaches me off the bench he's been warming. I can see he's got several bags and suitcases of stuff parked there. I assume he's homeless. He asks me if I can spare a few bucks for bus fare.

Now, bus rides downtown are FREE during the day, and he's way far from the Greyhound depot, and several blocks from either of the bus tunnels that would take him out of the area requiring actual bus fare. Normally I'd just say no, and walk on. I can do this completely guilt free, because I'm on the board of directors of the organization which feeds these guys -- I give more than my share, and I guarantee this asshole's belly has been filled as a direct result of my efforts plenty of times.

His approach, getting off the bench and getting right into my face is actually kind of startling, and I realize I can't just ignore him. So this time I decide, purely on impulse, to get angry! I loom up to my full 6'4" height, put my arms slightly out to accentuate my 340 lb. frame, and roar "NO! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" while snarling and looking daggers at him.

He stumbles back, falls over his stuff, and hits the concrete with his head pretty hard. As I walk away, he looks after me, fearfully. The look of panic and desperation on his face was really pitiful, and didn't uplift me in any way. I realize that his life is probably pretty stressful and dangerous enough without me pulling shit on him. He could easily have been badly hurt. I felt pretty terrible, actually.

I've seen him only once since then, from a distance, so I don't know if the experience affected his willingness to ask complete strangers for money. I'd bet that he doesn't approach anyone my size, though, or at least does so more timidly. There's a good chance I'll eventually run into him again face-to-face, maybe on the street, maybe in the serving line of Operation Sack Lunch (www.opsacklunch.org). I've decided to ignore him, unless he asks for money. Then I'll break my own rules, and give. Generously.

[Antigen]

I don't like to give money to beggars, because I can't help but think that most will just go off and buy beer with it. I especially hate the ones with no story, no "act", and no effort. Just standing there, looking bored, holding a hand out? Not going to cut it.

But I have bought food for some people who said they were hungry, and this winter I bought mittens for a man sitting out on the sidewalk outside of a downtown department store in -30C weather. He had his hands in his pockets, and when he held one out to ask me for change, I said no... but then I felt sad at how red and raw the hand was, and I bought a fluffy pair of mittens in the store. When I gave them to him on my way out he was a bit stunned, but he put them on and smiled at me and I felt like I'd done the right thing.

But then there's the guy who asked my sister for money for food as she was leaving a Subway restaurant. She took a fresh, warm 6" sub from the take-out bag and gave it to him with a smile. He opened it, and after yelling "who the F-- puts pickles with chicken?", threw it on the sidewalk.

[sinjin]

I had no idea Miss Havisham even wanted to be Homecoming Queen!


Well, she already had the dress.........

[LifeOnWry]

I look like an easy mark (small, female and usually smiling sort of vaguely), so I get approached all the time. Unfortunately for most beggers, I'm not as dumb as I look. I grew up in the city and learned to identify the usual suspects pretty quickly. But not too long ago, I took my suburban-grown teenage daughter and two of her girl friends and her boyfriend to a concert in Chicago, and jeeze, talk about marks! All four of 'em walking down the street with their faces turned up and mouths opened, like they've never seen tall buildings before. Every beggar on the street was rubbing his hands together in anticipation. We were approached no less than five times between the parking garage and the concert venue. At one point I realized we were missing the boyfriend, and found him listening a little too sympathetically to an "I just need busfare to get back to my Mom's" story. I just snagged his collar and dragged him back into the fold. When we got home, he told his dad, "Mrs. M. says I'm not allowed to talk to homeless people anymore 'cuz I'm a sap."

[Rilchiam]

In “The Sting” tough guy shows how to hid money in underwear so it won’t be found if you are robbed. Here give me your money…you put it in a handkerchief like this…and stick it in your pants like this…(switch hankies while in pants)…here your hanky back now stick it in your shorts.

Right; right. I was just trying to figure out how, in this case, the con would get hold of the mark's wallet. See, in The Sting, the mark put the con's money in his own wallet right away, because he thought he'd be able to rip off the con! As Uke described it, I guess it's just a matter of the confederate taking control before the mark has a chance to say, "Hey, waitaminut..."

[JohnBckWLD]

I was approached in a mini-mart by a teenaged girl asking if I would contribute to her campaign for homecoming queen...Teen Years: Homecoming Queen
20s -> 62: Welfare Queen

[Kaboodle]

When I was in high school and as a cashier worked in a grocery store, we were warned about "gypsies."* Apparently they would come up with a $20 and ask for change out of the register, and I didn't quite understand how they did it, but they would keep switching back and forth until they walked away with about $50.

I never got stung, and I hope someone can explain how the scam works.

*Yes, I know gypsies is not a politically correct term. But that's how they were referred to back then. I mean no offense.
Gypsies or not, they're called 'Quick Change Artists'. I was warned about them when I worked as a bank teller.

Although I've never encountered one or seen one operate. The scam works something like this: They ask for change for $20 bill, usually in specific denominations, a $10 and two $5's. In the middle of you making change, say, once the $10 is on the counter, they'll change their mind and ask for 10 $1's instead of the $10 and so on. Or they'll pull out another $10 and request change for that bill. They keep interrupting you before you can complete each request until you lose track of what money is theirs and what money is yours. If they're good enough, you won't even realize you've been taken until after they've left.

To defend against this scam, make sure your money and theirs isn't on the counter at the same time, and always complete one request before starting on another.

One teller I worked with encountered a quick change artist. She immediately recognized what was happening and managed to confuse him. When the QCA left, my co-worker was the one that ended up with extra money.

[Larry Mudd]

To defend against this scam, make sure your money and theirs isn't on the counter at the same time, and always complete one request before starting on another.Or tell them to 'op it before you call the law.

As for 'stranded travellers' I had a bit of fun with one who used to stand around the same corner on Commercial Drive (coffee district, sorta Disney bohemian) and try his routine on everybody who walked past.

When he approached me a third time in as many weeks, I thought I'd help him to remember my face, so he got an extended conversation instead of the usual dismissive wave.

"Excuse me, can you help me out? I need a few bucks for a bus ticket back to Edmonton, and my--"

"You're going to Edmonton? You can ride with me. I'm going to Toronto."

"Uh, a bus ticket would be cheaper than --"

"Oh, don't worry about it. I'd be glad of the company. In fact, why don't you come with me to Toronto. They've got jobs there."

"Uh, I only--"

"Lotsa jobs in Tronna! Good jobs, too, not like here. Lawyerin' and Doctorin' jobs."

"Really--"

"And we can go to Yonge Street! Yonge Street!"

[Guy says nothing, starts looking around like he's actually considering moving from the corner that he's been collecting donations from all damned summer.]

"Come on! Just let me stop at this ATM to get enough cash for the trip and we can go."

[He's interested again!] "Oh, you're leaving right away?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Just get some cash and stock up on supplies and we're out. We'll need a lot of doughnuts and beef jerky for the trip, man, if we're gonna survive."

"Uh... yeah. I don't have a lot of..."

"Don't worry. You drive half the time, and we'll be square. We're gonna need a lot of crack, too."

"What?"

"Crack, man. If we're going to drive straight through, we're going to run through a lot of rock. Do you know anyone?"

You know how you often hear about a sequence of emotions registering briefly on someone's face? This is the only time I've ever actually seen it outside of a movie triple-take. I don't remember the exact order, but confusion, hope, fear, and joy all made distinct appearances in the moment before he finally realized that I was taking the piss, when he scowled, turned on his heel, and walked off in search of a more suitable mark, without saying another word.

[swampbear]

"Broke, Homeless, Looking for Work" guy was at his usual off ramp yesterday and today. Today, he was joined by a friend, apparently. Just as I turned left off the off ramp there was another guy holiding a sign informing me "Jesus "Hearts" U." He had a shopping cart full of stuff too. This is turning into a fun on ramp. I can't wait to see if "Jesus "Hearts" U" Guy becomes a regular now. I wonder just how two broke, homeless people can afford to buy the poster board and markers to make the posters?

[RickJay]

While the mark is rubbing his palms and looking for his Hagstrom's, your confederate walks up and asks what's going on. He tells you you shouldn't be carrying so much money in your pockets here in the Big Bad City. "I can't stick around to help you, but let me show you what you should do to avoid grifters and brigands....put your dough in this big envelope -- hey, buddy, if you're going to help him, better let me have YOUR wallet, too, to keep it safe -- and shove it down the front of your trousers like THIS. See? Here's your envelope back, so long."
I don't understand; the scam is that a third party tells you, to be safe, you should stuff your wallet into the trousers of a complete strange?

I know people are gullible and the "gimme $20 for a desperate situation" often works. But, "Stuff your wallet into the pants of a strange foreigner?" No, sorry, I don't buy that would work.