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View Full Version : The sheer, unmitigated gall of people nowadays.


Airman Doors, USAF
04-01-2005, 11:05 AM
OK, so I stop at the laundromat to wash my uniform and a few other items, and in doing so I empty my pockets. I put it all on the table. Nothing big, just a belt, some earplugs, a pair of flight gloves, a pack of smokes, and my handcuffs. I get everything started and then I walk away to the anteroom to play some Galaga to while the time away. I make it to round 17, so I guess it's been about 10 minutes or so, and what do I see?

That's right. Someone has snagged my smokes. Now, I should be thanking this person, but since I'm not prepared to quit just yet that's $4 out of my pocket. The funny thing is that I know who this person is. I don't know her personally, but when I came in I saw her. She is a short little redhead who immediately gave me the fuck-me eyes when I said hello to her. Harmless, right? Maybe even someone who I might hit on were I not married? Well, that harmless little nothing turned out to be a thief. Ain't that something?

You just never can tell these days, I'll tell you what. And the stones she had, taking them from right next to a pair of HANDCUFFS! That right there might be a clue that this is not a person you want to be stealing from. For all she knew I might have been a real police officer rather than a military police officer (even if I had caught her I would have had no recourse, but how was she to know that?), and she didn't even care.

I swear, some people would steal the clothes right off your back if they could anymore. I grew up with the doors unlocked in my house, leaving the windows down in my car, that sort of thing. After having my stereo stolen a few times I learned that lesson. Now I guess I have to pack up my stuff all the time, everywhere I go.

Another one of my ideals has been crushed. Of course, it was only an ideal, so I guess I should have expected it. It's just too bad that you can't trust people as far as you can throw them anymore.

Homebrew
04-01-2005, 11:08 AM
Maybe she thought the cuffs mean you're kinky.

tdn
04-01-2005, 11:10 AM
Would you really want to date a woman with balls that big?

I once had a pen stolen from off my desk. "So what?", you ask, "It's not like your name was inscribed in gold on it, right?" Well, actually, yes, it was.

Neurotik
04-01-2005, 11:16 AM
I always figured the uniforms had to be dry cleaned. But making them laundry material makes far more sense for a military uniform when you really think about it.

Anaamika
04-01-2005, 11:22 AM
You left your stuff in the laundromat, walked away for 10 minutes, and you're surprised she stole from you?

Color me surprised at your surprise! Laundromats are notorious for thieves, trust me on this one.

lieu
04-01-2005, 11:24 AM
What a brilliant idea - instead of dating a woman for a couple of weeks to see if you're compatible, just leave your handcuffs out and see if she steals them. That in and of itself would speak volumes as to compatibility.

Item # 432 in the Things Learned Too Late To Be Of Any Consequence Now series.

Ethilrist
04-01-2005, 11:29 AM
Maybe she thought the cuffs mean you're kinky.
Nah, just open-minded.

Now, the handcuffs and the earplugs...

now that's kinky!

LouisB
04-01-2005, 11:41 AM
I think she wanted you to slap her around, handcuff her, and strip search her to find your cigarettes. Think how disappointed she must be that you didn't.

lieu
04-01-2005, 11:48 AM
No quarter baby, she was just askin' for no quarter.

Airman Doors, USAF
04-01-2005, 11:48 AM
I always figured the uniforms had to be dry cleaned. But making them laundry material makes far more sense for a military uniform when you really think about it.

No. They do look nicer, though. Too bad for me that I don't ever have time except maybe once a month to do that.

You left your stuff in the laundromat, walked away for 10 minutes, and you're surprised she stole from you?

Color me surprised at your surprise! Laundromats are notorious for thieves, trust me on this one.

Oh, I'm not necessarily surprised, just, I dunno, saddened isn't the word for it either, I guess it's more cynical. As if I needed to be more cynical.

ExTank
04-01-2005, 12:10 PM
[R. Lee Ermey Voice]

Well fuck me to tears!

What low-down, cock-sucking, grab-asstic piece of amphibian shit left his property unsecured?

If it weren't for people like you, there'd be a lot less thieves in this world!

Now drop and gimme 20, flyboy!

[/R. Lee Ermey Voice]

Seriously, I've never left anything I wanted to hang onto unsecured in a laundrymat, be it apack of gun or a pair of cheap sunglasses.

Airman Doors, USAF
04-01-2005, 12:22 PM
I hope you don't leave apack of gun unsecured, wiseass.

And I think that Gunnery Sergeant Hartman should be nominated for sainthood. If peope (including me) would just listen to what he had to say the world would be a much better place. All the same, it's too bad he had to say it. Just because I leave something out that does not mean I don't want it. Just because I leave my door open, that does not mean I want guests. Why do people think that it does?

Fear Itself
04-01-2005, 04:16 PM
Just because I leave my door open, that does not mean I want guests. But it does mean 'I want thieves'. Like that X painted on your curb that brings the hobos running for free grub. Now you know.

Soul Brother Number Two
04-01-2005, 04:48 PM
I miss Galaga. One of the very few vids I was any good at. I especially loved the bonus round.

danceswithcats
04-01-2005, 04:56 PM
Seriously, I've never left anything I wanted to hang onto unsecured in a laundrymat, be it apack of gun or a pair of cheap sunglasses.[/QUOTE]

Mebbe it's growing up close to Philly-I won't leave a hunk of dogshit unsecured because sure as Og made little green apples, some assclown will kipe it. That's why you and I had our discussion about keeping a certain item in your car versus on your person. ;)

abbeytxs
04-01-2005, 05:09 PM
The sooner you give up all your ideals (people are basically good, the government is there to protect us, etc. etc.) your life will become so much simpler. True, you will be cynical and bitter, but it is simpler.

Hijack - What the heck are "Fuck me" eyes? Are they anything like "bedroom eyes"? I have had several men tell me I have "bedroom eyes" and I have absolutely no clue what they meant. Are there little beds and alarm clocks in my irises? I am picturing this girl with little itty bitty neon "fuck me" signs flashing on and off in her eyes.

FinnAgain
04-01-2005, 05:10 PM
How do you know she took it? You weren't watching... maybe someone else walked into the place, saw a pack of smokes sitting unwatched, and grabbed 'em.

In any case... maybe it's my New Yorker cynicism, but I've always assumed that anything I leave alone and unwatched won't be there when I get back. If you want to keep it, keep your eyes on it.

tdn
04-01-2005, 05:32 PM
Hijack - What the heck are "Fuck me" eyes?

Heh. When I go to the laundromat, women give me the "fuck-me" eyes all the time.

Well, sort of.

Actually it's more like "fuck-you" eyes.

coffeecat
04-01-2005, 05:42 PM
I had a bicycle stolen right out of my own driveway in central Maine. They're out there and they're everywhere.
What the heck are "Fuck me" eyes?
Just another thing I don't see till 5 years later, sorta like the woman who licks her lips at me while taking her top off, so I offer her some Chapstick and open the window for her. Her chest must have been so overheated, the poor dear.

Satchmo
04-01-2005, 06:10 PM
My old Grandad always used to say, "You can't no more than have a hole in the ground and sooner or later, somebody will come along and try to steal it."
Words I have forgotten to my chagrin a few times.
Satch

harmless
04-01-2005, 06:16 PM
<snip>I don't know her personally, but when I came in I saw her. She is a short little redhead who immediately gave me the fuck-me eyes when I said hello to her. Harmless, right?<snip>
:eek:
Uh-uh! Tweren't me.
I don't even smoke ciggies.
If it was me I would've taken the cuffs. :D

I've had so many of my good t-shirts go missing out of the laundry room.
People suck. :(

Mister Rik
04-01-2005, 07:44 PM
What I want to know is, howcum I never meet any short little redheads with fuck-me eyes? I lost my virginity to a redhead (on St. Patrick's Day) all those years ago, and dammit, I want another one!

abbeytxs
04-01-2005, 10:26 PM
Actually it's more like "fuck-you" eyes.

See, now that I understand. I am extremely familiar with the 'fuck you' eyes. That is probably not a good thing, is it?

duffer
04-01-2005, 10:48 PM
Airman, you insensitive barbaric clod! Have you given no thought to her background and what may have happened in her childhood to lead her to a life of stealing heaters?

Quit your selfish bitching and concern yourself with why she did it. The fact that you've lost personal property takes a backseat to her self-image. Dismiss your loss and concentrate on her fellings. Asshole. ;)


And I could kick anyone's ass at Galaga. What a great game. Right up there with Zaxxon. I miss the good old days.

Frank
04-01-2005, 10:54 PM
Right up there with Zaxxon. I miss the good old days.
If I have to agree with duffer twice in one day, I suspect I'll have a fit of apoplexy.

Zaxxon sucks!

No, shit, I can't make myself believe it. *sigh*

Reeder
04-01-2005, 11:11 PM
If paying that much won't make you quit..you never will.


Just as an aside...

I pay $13.90 a carton for my Tahoes. That includes tax.

Cat Whisperer
04-01-2005, 11:14 PM
I'm going to have to go with you were pretty much asking for this one, Airman. Sure, it would be nice if you could leave stuff in a laundromat for 10 minutes without someone stealing it, but laundromats are not known for their non-theft properties. That's pretty much universal, isn't it? You even have to sit by your wash and watch it so no one steals it and/or takes it out and uses your paid-for washing machine.

Cat Whisperer
04-01-2005, 11:16 PM
If paying that much won't make you quit..you never will.


Just as an aside...

I pay $13.90 a carton for my Tahoes. That includes tax.
You probably don't want to know how much cigarettes cost in Canada. The shock might not be good for your heart.

duffer
04-01-2005, 11:18 PM
If I have to agree with duffer twice in one day, I suspect I'll have a fit of apoplexy.

Oh, you know you love it. Come to the dark side and feel the love. :p

black rabbit
04-01-2005, 11:26 PM
You probably don't want to know how much cigarettes cost in Canada. The shock might not be good for your heart.

I was sitting at the gate at Newark yesterday, waiting for my flight back home to Cincinnati. There was a couple one bench over waiting for the same flight.

I happened to overhear their conversation, and dude was really excited about the prospect of having a short layover in Northern Kentucky.

"They've got cigarettes for less than four bucks a pack!"

More like eight bucks a carton on the low end. That's one of the few good things about living in this shitty town.

danceswithcats
04-02-2005, 03:01 AM
And to think that when I was a wee sprat, you could buy a whole carton for four bucks! Heck, when I started smoking, they were only .55 a pack.

Cerri
04-02-2005, 07:59 AM
The sooner you give up all your ideals (people are basically good, the government is there to protect us, etc. etc.) your life will become so much simpler. True, you will be cynical and bitter, but it is simpler.



*sigh* Sad, yet true.

LouisB
04-02-2005, 09:09 AM
And to think that when I was a wee sprat, you could buy a whole carton for four bucks! Heck, when I started smoking, they were only .55 a pack.When I started smoking, they were $0.23 a pack. Put a quarter in a machine, pull the handle and you got your smokes with two brand new pennies under the celophane wrapper. If you rolled your own, like my grandfather did, Bull Durham was $0.05 per bag.

Loopydude
04-02-2005, 02:16 PM
And I think that Gunnery Sergeant Hartman should be nominated for sainthood. If peope (including me) would just listen to what he had to say the world would be a much better place.

"Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister."

Typo Negative
04-02-2005, 08:51 PM
I went to a laundymat and washed a comforter. You wanna know what was stolen from ME when I left it unattended for 10 minutes?

That's right. The comforter.

danceswithcats
04-02-2005, 11:18 PM
When I started smoking, they were $0.23 a pack. Put a quarter in a machine, pull the handle and you got your smokes with two brand new pennies under the celophane wrapper. If you rolled your own, like my grandfather did, Bull Durham was $0.05 per bag.

Lordy. My Dad quit when they hit a quarter-too expensive. :p