WOOHOO! We've Got A Turkey On The Way!

[Hal Briston]

Ok, this has been kept quiet long enough. ANNOUNCEMENT TIME:

After two years of trying, kittenlm has a turkey in the oven!!!
.
.
.
.
.
<chi-chirp.....chi-chirp>
.
.
.
.
Oh...right...non-standard euphemism. Sorry about that. Ok, let's put it this way...if all goes according to plan, Thanksgiving day will bring about a new addition to the Briston family!!

So, ya see, the baby is due on Thanksgiving, so, instead of saying "bun in the oven", we're saying that she's got...oh, never mind...you get it.

It would seem that the surgery to kittenlm's "feminine plumbing" alluded to here (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=281539&page=6&pp=50) was successful. She's about 6.5 weeks along now, and feels like crap. But happy. Very, very, "oh-my-god-we-actually-did-it" happy. :D

So, SDMB, allow me to introduce our Turkey (http://www.sirblah.com/photo/index.php?album=Ultrasound)! :)

[SiouxChief]

Congratulations, Hal!!

Nothing's made me happier than being a father. It will definitely change your life for the better.

Best of luck to your whole family!

[Draelin]

Woooooo! Congrats!! All the best, and I will get back to you with possible amusing names for the aforementioned turkey. :)

And remember--pregnant women should be given whatever they want. :D

[VunderBob]

Congratulations! Come Thanksgiving, I'll be telling you it's the second cutest kid I've ever seen. Mine, of course, being first... ;)

[lieu]

Go little Turkman! Or little Turkwoman!

Congrats, Hal, to you and the missus.

[Duckster]

Congrats. :)

I prefer mine over charcoal on the spit.

[Zebra]

There a joke about a Turkey Baster to be made here.


Not by me, but someone should.

[lieu]

About a gobbler too but darned if I'll make it.

[Kythereia]

Turkey? I'd love to have some, it sounds delicious--

--wait--you mean--what?

Oh! (But I wanted some roast turkey...) Congratulations! *smooch, many snogs*

[SiouxChief]

If this is another backwards thread, I hope it gets moved to the pit before we get to the OP...

[Ethilrist]

Bun. The term you're looking for is "bun."

Congratulations!

[silenus]

Congratulations.....who do you suspect?



:D

[harmless]

Awww!
Congrats!
Now there'll be a little Hal-spawn running around.
Never forget the obvious ones, people. :D

Someone’s fooling you with those ultrasounds…all I see is a peanut. ;)

[lieu]

I keep hearing "Open the pod-bay door, Hal." now.


Is that wrong?

[The Weird One]

Yayyy! Congratulations! :)

[Tupug Anachi]

So....will you name him Tom??? :D


Best wishes to the two of you!

[VunderBob]

So....will you name him Tom??? :D


If it's a girl, Jenny O. Briston? :D

[Casey1505]

You've instructed her to go into labor and give birth either well enough before, between, or after the Lions and Cowboys games, right?

Congratulations to you both!

[singlefile]

Congratulations. You can skip the childbirth classes and just call the Butterball help line.

[Loach]

Now you have to move. It's too crowded around here as it is. I hear Pennsylvania is nice.

[Khadaji]

Congratulations. Good luck on your new adventure. :)

[Barbarian]

Congratulations. Make sure you remember to baste said turkey frequently.

[Annie-Xmas]

Roseanne, looking at sister Jackie's nine-month-swollen stomach, touches Jackie's navel and says "Maybe when this pops up, it's done."

[GingerOfTheNorth]

Congratulations!

[WhyNot]

Very cool. As a sometimes-on-Thanksgiving birthday myself, may I hereby request on Halkitten's behalf that you always be sure to serve both birthday cake and (if you must) pumpkin pie?


*grumbles* Hate pumpkin pie. Stupid pumpkin pie looks stupid with stupid birthday candles in it.

[Hal Briston]

Thanks much, all!

Draelin - So, no change from the usual, then?
silenus - kitten got a hella laugh out of that one...too much of a laugh, if'n ya ask me.
harmless - <groaaaaaan...>
lieu - Very, very, very, very wrong. And funny.
Tupug - Heh...tempting...but it's already my brother's name.
VunderBob - <Whoosh!> Sorry...don't geddit.
Casey - Better believe it! Elsewise, we'll just have to wheel a TV into the delivery room.
Loach - Tell me 'bout it. But if we move, it'll be a lot further than PA.
WhyNot - Hey, I can cover two topics at once with this (http://www.inktank.com/AT/index.cfm?nav=473).

[WhyNot]

WhyNot - Hey, I can cover two topics at once with this (http://www.inktank.com/AT/index.cfm?nav=473).
Grr... covering two topics at once is the problem, bub! :D Keep the birthday and the bird-day as separate as possible!

(Actually, I thought that was very funny. Thanks!)

[Zebra]

Way to stuff that bird!

[Hal Briston]

Way to stuff that bird!Funny line...and it'll be even funnier if you happen to be from the UK. :)

[VunderBob]

Thanks much, all!
VunderBob - <Whoosh!> Sorry...don't geddit.

I presume you mean the proposed name for a girl. Jenny-O is a brand name of turkey sold in the midwest...

[Hal Briston]

Jenny-O is a brand name of turkey sold in the midwest...Ahhh, gotcha. Yeah, East-coaster here...that went zipping right by me.

[Draelin]

Ahhh, gotcha. Yeah, East-coaster here...that went zipping right by me.
Thank you for asking, I didn't get it either. :)

And I'm sure you already give your wife anything she wants ... but you should be ready for middle-of-the-night ice-cream-retrieval ops anyway. Remember--it's all your fault. :)

[Zebra]

Funny line...and it'll be even funnier if you happen to be from the UK. :)


I'm not from the UK but I do watch BBC America a lot.


Will you kid's sig be 'Smart, Hip, Drumstick'?

[Shirley Ujest]

Congrats!

Having kids is so much fun! Really.They are the Zen Masters of Life. I poop you not!

Most importantly, and for sheer hilarity in the future, I want you and your wife to seperately write down on paper the 10 things we will never do/my child will never do list. Don't look at eachother's list. That's cheating. It is important to do this now while your thoughts are still pure and you beleive you have the power to bend your childs will just because you are DAD/MOM and Tyranny is Mine!

you know:

My child will never be seen in public with a runny nose.
My child will never have a temper tantrum in public or say 'No' to me evar.
My child will never have one of those koolaid stained smiles in public.
My child will never wear velcro tennis shoes, they will learn to tie just like I did.
My kids will not wear buttugly t-shirts that have an enormous spiderman/spongebob/pokemon/barbie/strawberry shortcake on them.
We will have calm, reasonable conversations at the dinner table to instill family values. sorry, but if DAD is involved in Dinner Time Meals it .ain't.gonna.happen.

And the favorite: I will not turn into my mother/father. Good luck with that!

Etc. etc. etc.

Then look at it on your precious child's 5th birthday, or better yet, their graduation. You will laugh until you cry.



What is the projected due date of your little bird?

Your wife will be feeling tired and crappy for three months. This is an excellent time to score some massive brownie points in doing your much belated Honey-do list. ( you wanker!) :)


Naturally, it is expected we get to do a Name The Baby thread.

[Loach]

Thanks much, all!

[Loach - Tell me 'bout it. But if we move, it'll be a lot further than PA.



Not possible for me because of my job but we are moving to Hunderton County this month. Going from having our kitchen window 12 feet from our neighbors bedroom to having over 3 acres. Yippee.

[danceswithcats]

Congratulations, Hal. All of the good turkey jokes are already taken. ;)

Not possible for me because of my job but we are moving to Hunderton County this month. Going from having our kitchen window 12 feet from our neighbors bedroom to having over 3 acres. Yippee.

Congrats to you too, Loach. It's nice to hear that Hunterdon hasn't been built out twelve ways for Tuesday the way Mercer and Burlington went.

[Grasshopper]

Hooray, Hal and kittenlm! New life is so exciting :)

[Antigen]

Congrats on the little Butterball! The fun part will be when you take a pic of him/her beside the Thanksgiving turkey, just for comparison purposes.

For even more fun, put big goofy sunglasses on both the kid and the turkey. Good times!

[nocturnal_tick]

Yay for Baby Briston!

Congratulation to the both of you!

Yay!

[phall0106]

Now you have to move. It's too crowded around here as it is. I hear Pennsylvania is nice.


Who have YOU been talking to?

[Rufus Xavier]

Congratulations, Hal Briston and kittenlm!

I had a turducken joke here, but the goat ate it. Bye!

[Shana]

Congratulations Hal and family! :)

[inkleberry]

Congrats!!!!!!!

And what a fine set of feathers shim is sporting!!!!!


Ok, so is she tired all the time or pukey?

You should start a Due Date and Gender Pool- http://expectnet.com/ . :)

[AngelicGemma]

How did it take me so long to see this thread?

Congratulations!

[Cyros]

I second the poster who suggested earning some brownie points in the first trimester by taking care of things around the home. Here are some other first trimester tips:

1 - NEVER suggest she is acting irrationally. Nod, smile and say you're sorry for whatever it is she imagines you have done ;)

2 - NEVER say you "understand how she feels". You don't.

3 - If she has even a hint of morning sickness, try to avoid eating or cooking anything with any discernable scent near her.

Oh, and a tip for you. Don't bother reading any book that is supposed to be geared toward expectant fathers (i.e., The Expectant Father). Just read her books instead. They have more information and (most) don't assume men are idiots.

And Congratulations!

[Hal Briston]

Don't bother reading any book that is supposed to be geared toward expectant fathers (i.e., The Expectant Father).<looks at the just-finished-reading copy of The Expantant Father on desk>

Oops. :)

Thanks much for all the well-wishes and advice, all! Yes, kitten feels crappy, nauseous, and maybe just a slight bit cranky (not that I mind one bit and I wouldn't have it any other way and can I make you another glass of Ovaltine, Sweetheart?), but these are all things we knew going in. She's keeping an excellent additude about it -- a nauseous kitten means a healthy Turkey! :D

Oh, and thanks for the link, inkleberry. Expect a prediction thread before too long.

[Cyros]

<looks at the just-finished-reading copy of The Expantant Father on desk>

Oops. :)


Oh well. No harm done. I just found it a wee bit condescending and it assumed men are pretty shallow creatures. Plus, it didn't actually have a lot of information on pregnancy itself. I felt it was the intellectual equivalent of "The Girlfriend's Guide To Pregnancy" (which may be good for an occasional laugh, but nothing else). Just don't rely on them for real information.

[Draelin]

<looks at the just-finished-reading copy of The Expantant Father on desk>
Expantant? Well, I suppose you did have to take them off at some point ...

:)

[Hal Briston]

Expantant? Well, I suppose you did have to take them off at some point ...

:)D'oh!!



Well, actually, there was this one time we tried out a new posi....naaa, never mind...people don't want details. :)

[Hal Briston]

Pre-fab Baby Page (http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/m/mcl/) is up!

Hmmm...so the kid'll be driving in 2021, huh? Is it too early for me to start panicing about that? :)

[Draelin]

Pre-fab Baby Page (http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/m/mcl/) is up!

Hmmm...so the kid'll be driving in 2021, huh? Is it too early for me to start panicing about that? :)
That's so cute!

But I think New Jersey has officially raised the driving age to 18 (which begs the question, how do they get to the diner???), so you've got a little extra time. :)

[inkleberry]

I still do not see a baby pool.... :p I wanna vote! Early! Often! With gusto!

[harmless]

I was first to sign the Guest Book!
Does this mean I get to be Aunty? :D

[Hal Briston]

I still do not see a baby pool.... :p I wanna vote! Early! Often! With gusto!We decided to hold off on the pool until we get out of the first trimester. After that, game on! We'll have to see if we can set this up to work three-way predictions with jarbabyj and Stainz's offspring. :)

Oh, and since harmless was first on the guestbook, she gets to name the baby!*








* Blatent lie.

[harmless]

I thought Blatent Lie was a band name?
Well, if that's what you want me to name your baby....

[harmless]

Oh, and if it turns out I do get to choose: Peanut. :p

[AngelicGemma]

That's so cute!

My thought exactly.
:)