I just found out I'm married to a Doper!

[Nen]

I have been speaking with my wife via telephone for the last half an hour (we live 700 miles apart); she's currently requesting veto power over the content of this post. Anyway, she has been perusing the boards quite some time now and today she mentioned she'd registered. To my dismay, she would not reveal her handle. As Tymp manned the keyboard, I elicited vital information to narrow the search. Within moments, we found the tidbit of info for which we sought.

At this juncture in time, I would like to introduce to you my lovely, intellingent, enrapturing wife, lilah.

I would greatly appreciate it if my fellow Dopers would take a moment to welcome her to the community (and mention nothing of the crush thread). ;)

[Tymp]

You're a dead man now, punk. There are no secrets on the Dope.

[Silver Fire]

Welcome to the SDMB, lilah. Have fun and enjoy your stay!

[FreakFreely]

Don't worry Nen, I don't know anything about you. But then, I could always just make it up as I go along.

[Scotticher]

Crush thread? No one told me about a crush thread, lilah-it must be an urban legend.

Welcome to the crew, hope you have a wonderful time and stay forever! As you probably will, as it is extremely addictive.

Scotti

[MysterEcks]

Howdy, lilah. Nice ta meetcha.

[Catrandom]

Hello, lilah, wherever you are :) Welcome to the SDMB.

Catrandom

[phouka]

Geez, and I feel self-concious because my brother lurks here. Be afraid, Nen. Be very afraid.

(Jus' kidding, lilah. Welcome aboard, here's your duck.)

[FreakFreely]

Nen worships Lucifer.

He hides bizarre German porn in the broom closet.

He really loves Pop-Tarts.

He has a strange affinity with burrowing creatures.

He once had a short stint in a boy-band called "Hot Niples"

He likes to use Cheez-Whiz as lubricant.

He always wears Seran-Wrap under his clothing and wax paper on his feet. (except when you're looking)

He likes to dress up as J. Edgar Hoover... when Edgar wasn't in drag. He's just crazy, he's not a pervert (well, unless you count the cheez-wiz, and the tapioca, which I'm not even gonna go into).

He once had a rather strange experience with a set of bungee cords a corkscrew and a marilyn monroe wig. But once again, we're not gonna go into that.

He really gets off on scaring the cat with the vacuum cleaner.

He has connections with the Illuminati.

He once had his brain switched with a mountain gorilla. They're still trying to catch that damn gorilla.

He likes to chase frogs with a weed-whacker.

Oh yeah, that big purple dinosaur is his bitch.

[FreakFreely]

Oh yeah, welcome to the board lilah! I hope don't scare you too much.

[Talkinsquirrel]

Will we learn any embarrising pet names for ya Nen? Shnookum wookums? Her fluffly bear? Her Man toy of lust? Huh huh huh? Come on lilah spill the dirt!!

[yojimbo]

Originally posted by Talkinsquirrel
Will we learn any embarrising pet names for ya Nen? Shnookum wookums? Her fluffly bear? Her Man toy of lust? Huh huh huh? Come on lilah spill the dirt!!

I don't think we need to go there again. ;)

[Talkinsquirrel]

Originally posted by yojimbo
Originally posted by Talkinsquirrel
Will we learn any embarrising pet names for ya Nen? Shnookum wookums? Her fluffly bear? Her Man toy of lust? Huh huh huh? Come on lilah spill the dirt!!

I don't think we need to go there again. ;)

The hell we don't!!! :D

[Danielinthewolvesden]

Welcome lilah.

[Mullinator]

And the SDMB continues it's inexorable march towards world domination. Wolcome aboard lilah.

[Ringo]

Yeah, like Mully said, wolcome.

[UncleBeer]

So Nen, tell us. Did you know about her nipple piercing before the marriage?

[Satan]

Welcome!

Please allow me to introduce myself...
__________________
Yer pal,
Satan

TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING:
Three months, one week, four days, 10 hours, 8 minutes and 0 seconds.
4096 cigarettes not smoked, saving $512.11.
Life saved: 2 weeks, 5 hours, 20 minutes.

[Edwardina]

Welcome, lilah! It takes a little getting used to, but soon . . .

You'll be right at home!

[Nen]

Just to let everyone know, lilah won't be able to post to this thread until this evening, although she does know of its existence.

FreakFreely, you just had to tell her absolutely everything, didn't you?

Talkinsquirrel, I'm with yojimbo, you don't need to go there.

Mulli, she could be the brains behind the world coup, be careful.

UncleBeer, that's a BIG affirmative. I didn't marry her fer nothin', ya know. (As a matter of fact, I'm the one that did it).

[Nen]

Tymp, what? Have I've ever kept any secrets from the Dope?

Scotticher, I've never heard anything about this "crush thread" either. You must be right; it must be UL.

psst...

psst...

:whispers:

phouka, never let a crazed animal know you're afraid.

[BigJoe]

Welcome lilah. Don't worry, the doctor's assure us that FreakFreely's condition is not contagious. :D

However, this place is highly addictive.

[Dinsdale]

Remember, Nen, small circulated bills only.

We will know lilah is a sock puppet instead of Nen's wife if she starts posting agreeing with him.

(No honey. Just checking the stock market. I'm signing off now.)

[lilah]

i'd like to thank everyone for their very kind welcome--a couple of notes in particular:

tymp--with you looking out for me, i know i didn't have anything to worry about anyway...

freakfreely--who do you think it was who got him into all that stuff?

talkinsquirrel--if i were to reveal his nicknames, he could reveal mine. that would be bad. very bad indeed....(tymp, you stay out of this)

unclebeer--nen was the (then) boyfriend in the story. now we both have metalless nipples....

[Sunshine]

Hi! Glad to have you aboard!
You SURE you don't have any secrets to spill?

[SuaSponte]

Ahh, screw asking nen and lilah for dirt -- let's just hook Tymp up to a car battery until the gossip starts to flow!!

Welcome aboard, lilah!
Sua

[Persephone]

Wow. All that cool stuff Nen's in to, and he's married. Bummer.

Oh well, so am I. :D

Welcome, lilah! You'll like it here, really! And don't worry--the SDMB brand only hurts for a minute.

[iampunha]

hello lilah.

You don't want to know what felching or squicking are.

You don't want to click on the three page thread started by Satan.

You don't want to go to the Pit.

Other than that, have fun and be sure to tell us your pet name for Nen! Here's hoping it's Boo Boo.

[oldscratch]

Welcome lilah. I'd just like to point out, in a moment of unabashed self promotion, that my ear plugs are bigger than Nen's. And you know what they say about men with big ear plugs ;) ;)





that's right, they have big ears.

[DRY]

Don't know about you, but the things that people tell me I don't want to know about tend to be the first things I try to find out about. Somewhat reminiscient of Art Linkletter on "Kids Say the Darndest Things" asking "So what did Mommy and Daddy tell you NOT to talk about today??

[JimmyNipples]

Hi there lilah.....Nen is a hell of a guy.


Nen.....told us about the time the police took him away from the school bicycle racks...That line he gave the police...." I'm sniffing cause I have a cold..." was a classic.



Then there was the time he went to the porn shop and caught his "parts" in his zipper after coming out of the booth...

Oh ya...Good Times...Good Times

Welcome aboard lilah

I kid because I love

[nashiitashii]

Welcome to the board, Lilah. Have fun, and don't get in too much trouble around here.

[Tymp]

Ahh, screw asking nen and lilah for dirt -- let's just hook Tymp up to a car battery until the gossip starts to flow!!
SuaSponte,
Does this mean I’ll have to disengage the car batter currently charging my nipples, or are you just going to up the voltage? There are better ways of getting information out of me. Hint: I’m highly susceptible to flattery. This reminds me of that day when Mr. & Mrs. Nen came over to my house where I got them drunk and convinced them to . . . Oh, that’s a story for another time.

iampunha,
Though I’m sure she appreciates your intentions, I don’t think lilah requires any words of caution. I would not be at all surprised to learn that she has already butt-raped the devil himself (not our friendly neighborhood Satan) just because she was bored. Be afraid.

[nashiitashii]

::grabs Tymp's ass:: Hey, how's it going? So, what could I do to make you squeal?

[Tymp]

Squeal? Hm. I don’t think I’ve ever squealed. You’d have to pretty darn creative. I’m more than happy to entertain suggestions.

[nashiitashii]

Well, I'll be open to do whatever pleases you. ::giggles coquettishly::