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View Full Version : Worst corporate/product mascots


Mr. Blue Sky
05-21-2005, 09:21 AM
We haven't seen that many good mascots forced upon us by corporate America.

So name some of the worst:

The Noid
The Arby's oven mitt
The current Burger King
Whatsit? (from the Atlanta Olympics)
That guy from Di-Tech.com

jayjay
05-21-2005, 09:25 AM
The little toenail fungus monster
The phlegm clot (Mr. Mucus) from the Mucinex ads

sewalk
05-21-2005, 09:34 AM
The little toenail fungus monsterI am not what anyone would call squeamish but that commercial really gives me the willies. It's not the mascot but the raising up of the toenail that makes my skin crawl.

JohnT
05-21-2005, 09:39 AM
Herb (http://www.geocities.com/conspiracyprime/e2_wheresherb.htm), courtesy of Burger King.

pasunejen
05-21-2005, 09:50 AM
The damn Taco Bell chihuahua.

deevee
05-21-2005, 10:12 AM
Not really a mascot but the recent Burger King commercials for beef lovers were the worst. The live cow dining out with or in bed with the beef lover. Implying that as a beef lover I would like to date and have sex with the live animal before consuming its dead flesh was the most bizarre concept ever.

JoeSki
05-21-2005, 11:07 AM
The Arby's oven mitt



Ding ding ding! We have a winner! Freakin' mitt annoys me to no end. There's no way anyone finds that thing funny.

On the other hand, I rather like the Burger King King.

Dewey Finn
05-21-2005, 11:20 AM
Is the Arby's oven mitt a ripoff of the Hamburger Helper oven mitt, or did he get a new job?

Mr. Blue Sky
05-21-2005, 12:40 PM
Is the Arby's oven mitt a ripoff of the Hamburger Helper oven mitt, or did he get a new job?

He got a demotion.

Odesio
05-21-2005, 12:47 PM
I hear a lot of people hated the Frito Bandito but that was a little before my time. I don't remember him at all.

Marc

Mr. Blue Sky
05-21-2005, 12:58 PM
The Frito Bandito was around when I was a kid. He was very un-PC and wouldn't have a snowball's chance these days.

To add to the list, M$ Office's "Clippy" the paper clip rubs me the wrong way, too.

RealityChuck
05-21-2005, 01:01 PM
The Frito Bandito was not particularly disliked until the hispanic community began to point out he was a racist stereotype.

Herb from Burger King is generally considered in advertising as the worst -- he was hated and, more importantly, he didn't sell hamburgers.

supervenusfreak
05-21-2005, 01:27 PM
I'm surprised that nobody mentioned the Quizno duo. They went from the weird "We want the subs" animated characters to "Baby Bob" who creeps me out in so many ways. If you see this Jayjay, you know what will happen if you start with the song...........

twickster
05-21-2005, 02:24 PM
Have people already forgotten "Dude, you're gonna get a Dell!"?

pinkfreud
05-21-2005, 02:27 PM
I have become quite weary of the AFLAC duck. I think it's time to serve him with orange sauce.

Sampiro
05-21-2005, 03:29 PM
Do professional sports mascots count since they're corporate owned? If so, I'd like to nominate Alabama's newest professional baseball team, The Montgomery Biscuits (http://www.biscuitsbaseball.com/) (probably the only professional sports mascot named after a carbohydrate). The truly great part: in the city that brought you Roy Moore and Gerald Allen (they're not from there but they "did their stuff" there as state officials), the mascot of the baseball team is Big Mo (http://www.biscuitsbaseball.com/cgi-biscuitsbaseball/quikstore.cgi?search=yes&detail=yes&product=6000019&category=novelties&keywords=&hits_seen=0&page=index.html). (For those not in the know, Mo is slang in some circles for hoMOsexyul, and this one has a buttery tongue and wants to be eaten.)

jayjay
05-21-2005, 04:10 PM
I'm surprised that nobody mentioned the Quizno duo. They went from the weird "We want the subs" animated characters to "Baby Bob" who creeps me out in so many ways. If you see this Jayjay, you know what will happen if you start with the song...........

We love the suuuuuubs...

Susie Derkins
05-21-2005, 04:53 PM
They have a peppah bah!

"Can you hear me now?"

Icerigger
05-21-2005, 05:50 PM
Charlie the Tuna. He wanted to caught gutted and eaten. Sick.

jayjay
05-21-2005, 05:51 PM
Charlie the Tuna. He wanted to caught gutted and eaten. Sick.

Actually, Charlie was under the delusion that Star*Kist was looking for tunas with good taste, rather than tunas that taste good. He thought he was auditioning for a 70s version of Queery Fish for the Straight Dish...

Hyperelastic
05-21-2005, 06:12 PM
All the mascots mentioned so far have been famous and/or durable enough that most people know who they are, so they may have sucked, but they couldn't have been that unpopular.

The least popular mascots I can think of are

(1) Sport Marty (http://cookiegluck.com/characters.html) of SportMart. He's in the third picture down, under Bupkes the Bagel and next to the talking stomach. A life-sized, human puppet. I think he lasted about a week.

(2) Mr. Delicious (http://www.grumpygourmetusa.com/grumpblog.html) of Rax. The 2 Nov 2004 entry of the linked blog actually blames him for the demise of this once-vaunted fast-food chain. He came and went so fast that even in this consumerism-saturated age of ours the above link is one of only two Google hits for "Mr. Delicious" and Rax. Tick-a-dee-dee!

supervenusfreak
05-21-2005, 06:36 PM
We love the suuuuuubs...

You are just evil! Revenge shall be wrought!

BrainGlutton
05-21-2005, 10:29 PM
The little toenail fungus monster
The phlegm clot (Mr. Mucus) from the Mucinex ads

I'm just grateful Preparation H hasn't jumped on this particular bandwagon.

jayjay
05-21-2005, 10:38 PM
I'm just grateful Preparation H hasn't jumped on this particular bandwagon.

The only question is, would his name be Petey the Pile or Herman the Hemorrhoid?

JThunder
05-21-2005, 10:39 PM
Remember the Puttermans (http://www.tvacres.com/robots_puttermans.htm)?

Squonk
05-21-2005, 10:48 PM
I had forgotten the Puttermans. For a while I refused to buy Duracell batterries because of those damn commercials. They were positively evil. I may have to reinstitue my ban.

Man With a Cat
05-21-2005, 11:21 PM
You are just evil! Revenge shall be wrought!

Sorry, but I LOVED those guys. truth is, they loved the MOON.

NDP
05-21-2005, 11:33 PM
Does anybody remember "Face"? He was a disembodied face that was the mascot for Anheuser Busch's Eagle Snacks when the company challenged Frito-Lay for control of the junk food market in the 90's. I recall that shortly after Eagle Snacks introduced the "Face" ad campaign, Anheuser Busch pulled the plug on the division and Eagle Snacks' products suddenly vanished from grocery store snack food aisles across the country. The official explanation for Eagle Snacks abrupt departure was inability to compete with Frito-Lay, but I can't help but wonder that the creepiness of the "Face" character to people was what really killed Eagle Snacks.

Sampiro
05-21-2005, 11:39 PM
There is a cave in Alabama called Desoto Caverns (http://www.desotocavernspark.com/main/index.html). Their mascot, named for de Soto of course, is Happy Hernando (http://www.gethep.net/road/images/desoto.jpg), a guy in a suit with a big fluffy head who commemorates the man who brought smallpox, Rottweilers, the Inquisition, slavery and forced concubinage to the natives. (Rejected mascots include Smiley Smallpox, Jumpy Jenny-Side and Impy Imperialism.)

The park also has a playhouse in the shape of a galleon that used to prominantly featured on the park's brochure- it's "hull" filled with little black children. Apparently when political correctness invaded the south, the die-hards headed for the caves.

Tentacle Monster
05-22-2005, 12:51 AM
It was back in the days when I was still in the DEP (Delayed Enlistment Program). For those of you who don't know what that means: It means I signed the papers and was just waiting for my day to go to Basic. Still mostly a civilian, but with the odd meeting to go to and stuff you're strongly suggested to volunteer for.

One of the volunteer things was helping out at an air show at the local municipal airport. I hauled some stuff, helped set up the Air Force booth... and then something bizarre happened. My recruiter had a suit he wanted me to wear. This suit was a big balloon-suit affair, which was kept constantly inflated with a fan unit. All set up, it stood about eight feet tall. But what really got me was what the suit was of.

It was a big-headed Air Force recruiter. Named "Ricky Recruiter".

I shit you not.

And he wanted me to wear that.

As politely as I could manage, I excused myself from the airshow and got the hell out of there, all the while thinking You don't own me quite yet. While I still have the smallest shred of dignity, I am not wearing the god damn Ricky Recruiter suit!

I did, however, catch a glimpse of him in the suit.

One day, while the government still owns my body, they may call upon me to wear the Suit. I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of in my life. If ordered to, I'll go to a godforsaken desert to fight for a cause I don't believe in for a President who I never voted for. But if they order me to wear a damned Ricky Recruiter suit, well... if it's all the same to you, sir, I'll take the Article 15.

Birdmonster
05-22-2005, 02:07 AM
Walmart's bouncing yellow smiley face is pretty hateful.

Leaper
05-22-2005, 02:25 AM
The only question is, would his name be Petey the Pile or Herman the Hemorrhoid?

Not Herman, Hank.

(o/~ I get bigger when you void, I'm Hank the Happy Hemmorrhoid! o/~)

rjung
05-22-2005, 02:32 AM
While they're not "corporate," the last couple of Summer Olympics mascots have been rather fugly, IMO.

Cobi, (http://www.aldaver.com/Images/Os/ms1992sm.gif) summer 1992
Izzy, (http://www.aldaver.com/Images/Os/masc1996.gif) summer 1996
Syd, Millie, and Ollie, (http://www.aldaver.com/Images/Os/masc2000.jpg) summer 2000
Athena and Phevos, (http://www.aldaver.com/Images/Os/ms2004sm.jpg) summer 2004

(I'd throw in the winter Olympics as well, but Haakon and Kristin (http://www.aldaver.com/Images/Ow/masc1994.gif) (winter 1994) weren't bad, and Powder, Copper, and Coal (http://www.aldaver.com/Images/Ow/masc2002.gif) (winter 2002) were great)

As for corporate mascots, the Verizon "Can you hear me now?" guy really gets on my nerves. Grade-A DorkTM.

monica
05-22-2005, 11:40 AM
I have become quite weary of the AFLAC duck. I think it's time to serve him with orange sauce.
My theatre teacher had a little AFLAC duck puppet that, when a button was pressed, would emit 2 AFLAC noises and then a third, drawn out screamed AFLAC. Therefore, when paired with a large, menacing looking frog puppet, the following puppet skit could could be performed.

Duck (kind of bouncing along): AFLAC
Frog approaches
Duck: AFLAC
Frog opens mouth
Duck: A...
[i]Frog closes mouth around duck[i]
Duck: AFFFFFLLLLAAACCCCCC

Meeko
05-22-2005, 12:13 PM
I'm just grateful Preparation H hasn't jumped on this particular bandwagon.

What Not even Peparation H Raymond? ((Connan O'Brien Character from last year or so))

If you have a sore that has you Bi-----n' put this on and quit your itching!!

Meeko
05-22-2005, 12:25 PM
Whatisit // As he later became known as "Izzy". -- The joke around Atlanta at the time, was that the Marathon course (denoted by a continuous blue stripe that was found on roads downtown) was Izzy's Blood/Skin leaving a trail behind him, where local Atlantans drug him out and beat him up.

Weren't the Quizno's rat things (Sp someting monkeys?) a take off (or rip-off) of a Internet diversion?
-Baby Bob had his own show on CBS for a second right?

Helping Hand (The Betty Crocker Hamburger Helper mascot) can give Oven Mitt the finger. :D . -But they are both Right hand men, and Handy men by trade, so I guess we should glove them for who they are.

Jay Leno apparently hates the Burger King King,
recently (Month of May) the King has been in many of the "bit" segments right after the dialouge. (I assume that BK is paying for this stragetic hatred however, as the actual King is preasnt in studio, or for the stunts)

I like Mr.Peanut ... His character seems to be "perfect". Then again, the Christmas commercial where as a child he gets his famous hat as a present was one of the best commercials for last december.

No mention of Joe Cammel and Spuds Mckennzie? They where a little before my time (If Joe was indeed ever on TV... Ive seen some later Joe Cammel ads in the 90s)

Then you also had that McDonalds Tonight Moon man thing.... who got taken off for ripping off Mack The knife....

Oh, and if you ask me, Poppin Fresh (Pillsbury Dough boy) was the original Pokemon.

Meeko
05-22-2005, 12:29 PM
Wow, just way to many to mention here.

I like how the Pets.com Sock Puppet (He more or less gained that as his offical name.... its how he signed his autobiography) found work, and was "given a second chance" working for Bar None Auto Loans.

Also, I like how the current Kool-aid Commercial (Mr.Koolaid /Koolaid Man ((The big pitcher with human feet)) ) is on a quiz show.... With Mr.Peanut and the Super Golden Crisp Bear.. ((I assume they are somehow ""Cousins""

Also, the Tony the Tiger / Corn Flake ads from a few years back... had Tony "Hiding" in the back ground of the commercials.

Meeko
05-22-2005, 12:31 PM
Killfrog.com has a take off of can you hear me now.... "Can you kill me now?"

jayjay
05-22-2005, 12:35 PM
Weren't the Quizno's rat things (Sp someting monkeys?) a take off (or rip-off) of a Internet diversion?

Yup (http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/)! The original was actually done by the same guy who did the Viking Kittens (http://david.artoo.net/vikings/).

Dewey Finn
05-22-2005, 01:30 PM
I like how the Pets.com Sock Puppet (He more or less gained that as his offical name.... its how he signed his autobiography) found work, and was "given a second chance" working for Bar None Auto Loans.

It's really sad to think that when Pet.com collapsed, the most valuable asset they had to sell in bankruptcy was the sock puppet

Cynical Optimist
05-22-2005, 09:13 PM
I'm suprised nobody nominated "Enzyte Bob" yet.

As much as I get creeped out by the new Burger King I just can't bring myself to hate him since getting Hootie (Darius, whatever) to sing about that chicken ranch. I want to try whatever they were smoking (I still haven't tried the sandwich) when they came up with that commercial.

mobo85
05-22-2005, 09:18 PM
Not Herman, Hank.

(o/~ I get bigger when you void, I'm Hank the Happy Hemmorrhoid! o/~)

Right you are, Leaper. You know, my cat, Mr. Sphincter, goes crazy whenever he sees Hank on the TV. I'm not sure why. I think I'll have to ask Guy one of these days- he knows something about cats. He always telss me after the show he's hoping to find some pussy.

Don't get eliminated,
A guy who got the reference

Uvula Donor
05-22-2005, 09:24 PM
I nominate Bob (http://toastytech.com/guis/bobboot1.gif), the smiling mascot for what was perhaps the worst GUI ever developed for a computer.

Diceman
05-22-2005, 10:08 PM
Another vote for Burger King's newest mascot. He's beyond creepy. If I woke up one morning and found him in bed with me, I'd probably grab the heaviest object I could lay my hands on, and beat him until he stopped breathing. Ditto for if I found him staring in my window like a deranged stalker. Either of those incidents would cause me to run down to the Secretary of State's office and apply for a Concealed Carry Permit.

Sorry BK, but getting Hootie to hawk your food does not make up for the horrors of The King.

Oslo Ostragoth
05-22-2005, 11:45 PM
The damn Taco Bell chihuahua.
Err, I loved him....

pasunejen
05-23-2005, 06:41 AM
Err, I loved him....
I think I liked him for two commercials or something like that, but from then on I found him extremely annoying and just wanted him gone...

Meeko
06-01-2005, 06:52 AM
I'm suprised nobody nominated "Enzyte Bob" yet.


The Commercials are now self referencial and call him "Smiling Bob". as in "Smiling Bob's guide...."

The jokes are juvenile at best, and get repeated. The "North pole" at Christmas, the sputtering water hose, the Golf club/putter.


Then again, the entire subject can't escape what it helps do. I guess its here to stay.

Merijeek
06-01-2005, 08:00 AM
Then again, the entire subject can't escape what it helps do. I guess its here to stay.

Exactly. You have to be fair and at least give Enzyte Bob credit in that he does, at least, give you an idea what is product is and what it does.

Unless you'd prefer to see more of Mike Ditka hawking boner pills. Personally, that's something I can live without.

-Joe

jayjay
06-01-2005, 08:55 AM
Exactly. You have to be fair and at least give Enzyte Bob credit in that he does, at least, give you an idea what is product is and what it does.

Unless you'd prefer to see more of Mike Ditka hawking boner pills. Personally, that's something I can live without.

-Joe

Or Bob Dole. *shudder*

sj2
06-01-2005, 12:20 PM
The caterpillar from http://www.moneytreeinc.com/

and Empire carpets 800-588-23 hundred...EMPIRE~!

Lisa-go-Blind
06-01-2005, 02:33 PM
I nominate Bob (http://toastytech.com/guis/bobboot1.gif), the smiling mascot for what was perhaps the worst GUI ever developed for a computer.

Especially unfortunate, as his sunglasses seem to form two o's between the first and last letters of his name.

slortar
06-01-2005, 02:38 PM
Herb (http://www.geocities.com/conspiracyprime/e2_wheresherb.htm), courtesy of Burger King.

Holy crap. Now something's that been bugging me for over 15 years about Bard's Tale II suddenly makes sense. Weird how this sort of thing happens.

BrainGlutton
06-01-2005, 05:05 PM
The damn Taco Bell chihuahua.

Old joke:

FIRST KID: Boy, those chihuahuas sure must be smart dogs!

SECOND KID: Why?

FIRST KID: 'Cause my Dad says the Mexicans use them to make burritos!

Backwater Under_Duck
06-01-2005, 08:17 PM
It's really sad to think that when Pet.com collapsed, the most valuable asset they had to sell in bankruptcy was the sock puppet
Yeah, but when he was the Pet.com dog he was edgy and funny, and you could always see the guy's hand which made the joke better. Now he's just a stupid little dog with too high of a voice and no snide humor.

And the Arby's oven mitt. You know it used to be a cowboy's lasso. A piece of rope. Then some ad guy must have noticed the shape was like an oven mitt and an annoying spokes-doofus was born.

mobo85
06-01-2005, 09:48 PM
And the Arby's oven mitt. You know it used to be a cowboy's lasso. A piece of rope. Then some ad guy must have noticed the shape was like an oven mitt and an annoying spokes-doofus was born.

If you're referring to the Arby's logo (http://www.arbys.com/arb01.html), I always thought it was a cowboy hat. It could be a lasso in the shape of a cowboy hat, now that I look at it again.