Oh my God. Capricorn One is the cheesiest movie ever!

[friedo]

I hadn't seen this movie in ages. Probably about ten years. I remembered it as a classic 1970s conspiracy thriller, full of suspense and intrigue. Then a couple days ago it made its way to the top of my Netflix cue and I popped it into the DVD player.

What a piece of crap.

First, I had somehow managed to block from my mind the fact that one of the astronauts is none other than world-class thespian OJ Simpson.

First there's Elliot Gould's spectacular non-performance as the investigative journalist Uncovering The Truth. The highlight of his portrayal is when he's been framed for drug posession (after he survives plunging off a bridge in his sabotaged car) and manages to draw this conclusion: "You guys are the ones behind all of this. You mothers." You'd think he would at least try to be a little pissed off.

Then there's the obnoxious runner involving Gould's hot reporter partner, played by Karen Black, who keeps insisting that Gould wants to jump her.

There are the miniatures of helicopters, jets and cropdusters that all have the wrong proportions to one another and make no sense in the perspective of the plates stuck behind them.

But my favorite bit of cheesiness concerns the helicopter chase wherein the bad guys are tracking down the three astronauts who threaten to uncover their evil plot. There are two helicopters, and they're always flying right next to each other. You'd think they'd realize that, "Hey, we have helicopters, let's search two places at once!" But no. Then there's one scene where the two helicopters come into frame, rising above a cliff, turn to look at one another, and then continue on. WTF was that all about?

Finally, at the very end, heroic astronaut James Brolin shows up at his own funural to reveal the truth. They wanted a slow-mo of him running through the cemetary towards his non-widow. But they didn't bother to overcrank the camera, no, they just played it back at half speed! OK, that's not so bad when you're doing 12 frames a second, but then on every subsequent cut, they slow it down more, until the last shot of the movie is James running towards the camera at a whopping four frames per second.

Man, that was cheesy.

[Steve MB]

First, I had somehow managed to block from my mind the fact that one of the astronauts is none other than world-class thespian OJ Simpson.
I still think Johnny Cochran should have shown this movie to the jury to demonstrate that his client's protestations of innocence were not -- could not be -- acting.

[jimpatro]

My gosh!!!
O.J. was innocent!!!

[Leroy Brown]

I always notice the rating my cable/satellite guide gives movies. When I lived in England, I noticed last year they gave this movie 4/4 stars. This puts it in company of The Godfather and Schindler's list. This really puzzled me. Did anyone not recently screen the movie or was this a dig at US hubris from some anonymous Sky TV reviewer?

I need to add the Sky TV ratings were always spot on for me, with this one exception. Nice thread.

[Morbo]

Capricorn One is Citizen Kane compared to Saturn 3. Read Ebert's review (http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19800219/REVIEWS/2190301/1023) to get a real feel for its outstanding badness.

[tracer]

I always notice the rating my cable/satellite guide gives movies. When I lived in England, I noticed last year they gave this movie 4/4 stars. This puts it in company of The Godfather and Schindler's list. This really puzzled me.
Isn't it obvious? Capricorn One deserves such a high rating because it's a true documentary about how NASA faked the moon landings (http://www.badastronomy.com/bad/tv/foxapollo.html).

[Leroy Brown]

In your heart, you know it's flat! (http://webusers.physics.umn.edu/~duvernoi/flat.html) :D

[Bryan Ekers]

And of course that final slow-motion run of Brolin and Gould gives one time to contemplate the cosmic significance of the fact that they are the current and former husbands of Barbra Streisand.





Well, it's gotta be significant somehow.

[buns3000]

Thanks to a rush of blood in a petrol station, I own this on DVD. Yes, it is pathetic but at least you get Jerry Goldsmith's music (small consolation). WTF are petrol stations doing selling DVDs anyway?

[Otto]

Man, back in the day when Elliot Gould could open a movie.

Not only did I used to love this movie, I even had the novelisation. And read it. More than once.

[Bryan Ekers]

Thanks to a rush of blood in a petrol station, I own this on DVD. Yes, it is pathetic but at least you get Jerry Goldsmith's music (small consolation). WTF are petrol stations doing selling DVDs anyway?

Waiting for blood-rush victims, obviously.

[Little Nemo]

Your review forgot to mention that this movie also features Hal "Deep Throat" Holbrook, Telly "Kojak" Savalas, and Sam "Jack McCoy" Waterston.

[Mac Guffin]

If anything, the special effects in the movie should be proof positive that hollywood did NOT, in fact, have the ability to fake the moon landings. They couldn't even fake faking them.

[buns3000]

Waiting for blood-rush victims, obviously.[Leslie Nielsen] I realise that... now. [/LN]

[Carnac the Magnificent!]

Isn't it obvious? Capricorn One deserves such a high rating because it's a true documentary about how NASA faked the moon landings (http://www.badastronomy.com/bad/tv/foxapollo.html).



Be careful when you start your car in the morning...

[Icerigger]

Perverts !!

[Johnny L.A.]

I loved this film when it came out. A few years ago I bought the DVD. Yeah, it's cheesy, but so were a lot of films back then. It's not as bad as some people are making out to be, but it's not exactly at the top of my viewing list.

But it did give us a great joke.
'Your mother was on the roof...'

Spoiler tag fixed -- Uke

[Johnny L.A.]

:smack:

[tdn]

Your review forgot to mention that this movie also features Hal "Deep Throat" Holbrook, Telly "Kojak" Savalas, and Sam "Jack McCoy" Waterston.
You forgot David "The bigger of the Lebowskis" Huddleston.

[cormac262]

I loved this film when it came out. A few years ago I bought the DVD. Yeah, it's cheesy, but so were a lot of films back then. It's not as bad as some people are making out to be, but it's not exactly at the top of my viewing list.


Actually that Sam Waterson cliff climbing scene is my favorite, most memorable scene in the movie.

Given the time, post-Watergate, post-Vietnam when fearing government conspiracy was rampant, the movie wasn't all that bad.

But speaking of the cliff scene, I always kind of wondered about their logic to head in 3 different compass directions (west, east, north, or whatever they chose). Given that the pattern is so easily recognized once one is caught (as the evil Holbrook character deduces), you would have thought they might have been better off either 1) having one guy follow another, about a mile or so behind or 2) had at least one pick a non-compass point direction (like north-west). Seems they could have bought some time with either of these options.

[Rodd Hill]

Sure, it's cheesy, but it's no Collosus: The Forbin Project!

[tracer]

In your heart, you know it's flat! (http://webusers.physics.umn.edu/~duvernoi/flat.html) :D
Not only is it flat, it's square (http://www.rogermwilcox.name/square_earth.html)!

[tracer]

Not only is it flat, it's square (http://www.rogermwilcox.name/square_earth.html)!
And I forgot to mention: That page mentions Capricorn One explicitly in its FAQ section.

[Encinitas]

Rodd Hill, you are my new Favorite DoperTM. I love that movie.

[Odinoneeye]

Man, back in the day when Elliot Gould could open a movie.

Not only did I used to love this movie, I even had the novelisation. And read it. More than once.

Written by Ron Goulart, one of the best non-science science fiction authors. Cheese drips off every page of his novels.

[Tuckerfan]

Finally, at the very end, heroic astronaut James Brolin shows up at his own funural to reveal the truth. They wanted a slow-mo of him running through the cemetary towards his non-widow. But they didn't bother to overcrank the camera, no, they just played it back at half speed! OK, that's not so bad when you're doing 12 frames a second, but then on every subsequent cut, they slow it down more, until the last shot of the movie is James running towards the camera at a whopping four frames per second.

Man, that was cheesy.
According to the "bonus" (or should that be "bogus") features on the DVD, it says that was done to emulate the look of astronauts walking on the Moon as a nod to the folks who actually believe that we didn't go there.

Mind you, if you watch For All Mankind (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0780022319/104-0700088-7359140?v=glance) which uses the original masters of the Apollo footage (they took them out of nitrogen storage so they could be used for the film), you can tell that there's no frickin' way we could fake that. Show that movie on one TV and RotS on one right next to it, and the differences in the images are mind bogglingly obvious. Unless, of course, you think that Lucas is deliberately "dumbing down" his FX as part of the conspiracy. :rolleyes:

[Little Nemo]

You forgot David "The bigger of the Lebowskis" Huddleston.
And Brenda "Capricorn One" Vaccaro.

[Otto]

And Brenda "Capricorn One" Vaccaro.
I think you mean Brenda "Supergirl" Vaccaro.

[Ranchoth]

I'll say one thing, though, the—
—Do I really need a spoiler space here? Well, just to be safe.

Anyway, I thought the helicopter-biplane chase was just weird enough to be fun to watch. Change any part of it, and it probably would have just been annoyingly cheesy. I'm not saying it was amazing, as is, but it weren't bad.

—And, apparently, NASA had planned to send three guys to Mars and back—a trip that would have taken...what, two years, at least?—in an off-the-shelf Apollo capsule. So, kind of like taking a two-year trip locked inside a Honda Civic, that never stopped. And you're in there with two other guys. And you had to go to the bathroom by gluing a ziplock bag to your ass. And there's no shower. (Maybe I'll give the movie the benefit of the doubt and assume that there was supposed to be a larger "living quarters" section we never got to see. And that was never even used, I suppose.)

—And...you don't need a heat shield for landing on Mars. You just need an old Apollo lander. (Which didn't even have singed foil on it's base) And, even if the huge, expensive mission had gone perfectly, I guess it was only intended to bring back about 50 lbs. of samples back.

—The head of NASA can have people "disappeared."

Finally, at the very end, heroic astronaut James Brolin shows up at his own funural to reveal the truth. They wanted a slow-mo of him running through the cemetary towards his non-widow. But they didn't bother to overcrank the camera, no, they just played it back at half speed! OK, that's not so bad when you're doing 12 frames a second, but then on every subsequent cut, they slow it down more, until the last shot of the movie is James running towards the camera at a whopping four frames per second.

You know, usually I'd agree with you on that kind of "slow-mo," but I actually thought it worked, here—with all the reporters at the funeral clicking away, it kind of suggests imagery of looking at the series of news photos that would have been taken at that event, if it had really happened.

Or they just forgot to overcrank the camera. :smack:

[want2know]

I always wondered why MST did "Marooned" when this piece of dreck was just ripe for ridicule. :confused:

[Mr. Blue Sky]

I always wondered why MST did "Marooned" when this piece of dreck was just ripe for ridicule. :confused:


It's one thing to piss off Joe Don Baker and another to piss off OJ Simpson. :D

[Tuckerfan]

I always wondered why MST did "Marooned" when this piece of dreck was just ripe for ridicule. :confused:
Actually, MST was a bit of a victim of their own success. When they started out, they could get tons of movies for next to nothing, but as the show became popular, people started charging more and more for the right to be humiliated by them. It may be that's why they didn't do it.