Red Hat Society

[Lillith Fair]

First of all, I'm not waiting until I'm old to wear purple. I wear it all the time. But I guess the point of the poem is that the old lady wants to wear purple with a red hat because suppsedly it doesn't go together. So why does she have to wait until she is old?

Second of all, I don't want to wear a red hat. I don't want to wear a hat at all.

So fie on you, Red Hat Society! I hope that, when I am old (in about 100 years), the whole red hat thing is completely played. I'm not doin' it!!! It is not funny; it is not cute. I am sick of it! I am sick of the little red hat things in gift shops! I am sick of going to restaurants and seeing a bunch of ladies in red hats!

[Amp]

So, this thread isn't about a bunch of Linux geeks?

[Lynn Bodoni]

Personally, I think it's quite ironic. The Red Hat societies seem to have a lot of rules that the members are supposed to follow...and the poem is about breaking the meaningless rules that society imposes. For instance, women under 50 are supposed to wear pink hats and lavender dresses.

I'll continue to go on wearing whatever color I want, whenever I want. And I'll probably avoid Red Hat merchandise.

[Happy Lendervedder]

Those women are crazy. When I was the entertainment editor at a newspaper, the local chapter would send me lame pictures and idiotic stories about silly things they did the past weekend (like drinking tea at a bowling alley). Then they would threaten to kill my pets if I didn't run them.

Well, maybe they didn't threaten, but those bullies would harass the hell out of me to run their ridiculous crap. Finally, I had to tell the local chapter leader that until they did something newsworthy beyond the limits of their freakish cult, or at least learned how to take a decent photo, I would just as soon run a photo of my bony ass on the front page of the paper than run their crap.

Well, maybe I didn't say that exactly, but that was the jist.



Happy

[jayjay]

Heh! I love that poem. I've loved it since well before this whole Red Hat thing took off...I remember seeing an embroidered sampler of it in a store window in State College when I was going to Penn State 15 years ago. Instantly fell in love with the thing and would have bought the sampler if hadn't been a poor college student with no money.

[Ashes, Ashes]

. For instance, women under 50 are supposed to wear pink hats and lavender dresses.

.

Sweet jesus, I wouldn't dress like an Easter egg if it meant a cure for cancer!

As our lovely Lillith, I don't wear hats, red or otherwise.

[Seven]

I built a shopping website for one of these ladies. Lots of purple crap and red hats. She seemed fine for a few weeks but I ended up having to tell her to get someone new to work on the site.

She was a total fruitcake.

[Zoe]

The society totally defeats the spirit of the poem which is about doing exactly what you want! It's about being yourself and not following the rules.

I would have enjoyed the company of some of these women who are near my age if they hadn't squeezed the life out of the concept!

Instead, I am a co-founder of Salty Old Broads. No rules. Don't even ask. If you are one, you're in if you wanna be.

[Cunctator]

What's the poem? Does someone have a link to it?

[lorene]

What's the poem? Does someone have a link to it?

Here (http://www.ladyjayes.com/oldwoman.html) is the poem, and here (http://www.redhatsociety.com/) is the RHS website. I had never heard of this before, but...yup. Keraaaaazy!

[Scarlett67]

THANK YOU!! I have always thought the Red Hat club was some of the lamest shit ever. "Ha ha ha, look at us, we're WILD AND CRAZY (in our identical red and purple UNIFORMS)!!!! We're SPONTANEOUS AND FUN (as evidenced by our doing this month's WACKY PREPLANNED ACTIVITY)!!!!"

Bah.

[Tomcat]

Hey, back off! What else is my 75-year-old mom supposed to do with her time? She's got friends, they do shit, it keeps her off Crack...

So its sort of social. Demented and sad, but social, right?

-Tcat

[swampbear]

They're strange, but the ladies who do it seem to have a good time. So let em at it, I say. They're no more a bother to me than any other organization that has meetings.

[Caprese]

I knew that the RHS site would have a scrapbooking section. I just knew it.

As far as the society itself, I guess some people like the safety-in-numbers aspect of it? And sad as it sounds, maybe some women do need to be "shown" how to have fun.

I've never been much of a joiner in the first place, and the society's dress codes (hey, I qualify for the red hat!) and registration forms don't exactly tempt me.

Yeah, it all seems rather contrived and not a little ironic, but I'll not sneer too much at those ladies. I remember reading the poem before, too, and at the time, I thought, I don't need a poem to tell me how to age, but I'm glad it's out there.
I guess that's how I feel about the RHS as well.

[rjk]

The society totally defeats the spirit of the poem which is about doing exactly what you want! It's about being yourself and not following the rules.

I would have enjoyed the company of some of these women who are near my age if they hadn't squeezed the life out of the concept!

Instead, I am a co-founder of Salty Old Broads. No rules. Don't even ask. If you are one, you're in if you wanna be.
So! How you doin'? ;)


I liked the poem, and probably will again when the fad has passed, but for now I agree completely with all you say.

[Velma]

My mother in law is part of one of those groups. It has always appeared to me just to be an older version of teenage asserting-my-individuality-along-with-all-my-friends. Like when kids wear all black or get a piercing or tattoo or listen to their shocking shocking music to show how individual they are, and how wild and crazy and rebellious, and they don't care what anyone thinks! They are individuals! Just like all their friends!

Meh. I don't think they are bad, in fact if they draw some women out a little and they find new friends and activities I think that's great. Sometimes it is safer to 'be different' in a group.

Happy, that cracks me up. I have a vision of them sending you threatening notes and forming a little Red Hat Mafia in hopes of one day controlling the Press. One day you will wake up with a red hat in your bed.

"Our story must be told!"

[Prancer]

My mom is a Red Hat Vice-Queen and her best friend is the Queen of their self-formed chapter. She really enjoys it.

It's gotten her out of the house & making friends. She's done a Red Hat fashion show and will do another. She's done voice-over work for a local Red Hat-friendly clothing store's radio adds. She's made a purse out of a red bra & purple ribbons. Seriously. It's kind of cute, until you look at it and realize, "Oh my lord, that is a heinous red bra that has been mercilessly resurrected as a purse!"

I love my mom, and I'm glad she's having fun. She's always been very self-conscious because she's tall & plus sized. She also had a stroke & two TIAs in February, and sometimes she can't find the right words like she used to. She has a hard time reading because of visual field loss, and she was an avid reader. She's also emotionally labile from the stroke. I think the fashion show & radio ad are really amazing things for her to be doing at 65ish. I'm proud of her for trying new things.

This is just one of those situations where it doesn't matter how crazy I think the Red Hat stuff is....all that matters is she's getting something positive out of it.

But, if she EVER suggests I do the Pink Hat thing, I'll have to run screaming from the phone. Ugg. Yuck. Ptouy.

[SnakesCatLady]

I'm another who always loved the poem - and my SIL is a official Red Hat. I do wear hats - all sorts of them - but with red hair I'm not about to put on a red one. If I didn't spontanously combust, the fashion police would get me.

[Jenny Haniver]

My grandfather died after a long, long, battle with cancer, during which my grandmother basically dropped everything in her life to look after him, and when he was gone, she found herself at a loose end. She had dropped out of a lot of her social groups, and quite a few of her old friends had also died (for instance, she’s the only one left from her euchre club.) and our family is scattered around the country.

She joined the Red Hats and has made a lot of friends with the other women in the group, from a wide range of ages, and I couldn’t be happier about it. It’s cheesy and not very spontaneous, but I think of it as rather like the Elks or the Moose lodge, but founded for women (And better than the women’s auxiliary of those groups because it doesn’t constantly remind her that she’s missing part of herself now).

[Jonathan Chance]

My big question is if this is new? I never heard of it until I moved to Ohio last year then it's EVERYWHERE.

Did I miss a memo or is it just something that doesn't happen in Washington DC?

[swampbear]

My big question is if this is new? I never heard of it until I moved to Ohio last year then it's EVERYWHERE.

Did I miss a memo or is it just something that doesn't happen in Washington DC?
I believe it to be pretty much everywhere. What I recently learned is that there are several "Red Hat Societys" in my town. Apparently there is some kind of size limit to a group. I wonder if they'll have turf wars. Roving bands of little ol' ladies in red hats and purple dresses fighting each other tooth and nail. Soon the streets will not be safe! :eek:

[DiosaBellissima]

Only if they dance fight- West Side Story style.

[jayjay]

I believe it to be pretty much everywhere. What I recently learned is that there are several "Red Hat Societys" in my town. Apparently there is some kind of size limit to a group. I wonder if they'll have turf wars. Roving bands of little ol' ladies in red hats and purple dresses fighting each other tooth and nail. Soon the streets will not be safe! :eek:

And now, the Red Hat Societies of Flyspeck, Georgia, will re-enact the Battle of Pearl Harbor...

[twickster]

My big question is if this is new? I never heard of it until I moved to Ohio last year then it's EVERYWHERE.

Did I miss a memo or is it just something that doesn't happen in Washington DC?


It's really only exploded over the last year or so -- once the catalogue mavens realized there was serious money to be made selling red hat tchotchkes.

[picunurse]

The society totally defeats the spirit of the poem which is about doing exactly what you want! It's about being yourself and not following the rules.

I would have enjoyed the company of some of these women who are near my age if they hadn't squeezed the life out of the concept!

Instead, I am a co-founder of Salty Old Broads. No rules. Don't even ask. If you are one, you're in if you wanna be.
Please, from this day forward, consider me a member.
In the past, I considered joining The Heartless Bitches (http://www.heartless-bitches.com/) but, I just couldn't work up the mean required.
S.O.B. sounds more my style. :D

[Duck Duck Goose]

I always thought it seemed a bit contrived to have a club comprised solely of people who have reached a certain age. Why 50? Why not 51 or 52? It's just a manifestation of homo sapiens' obsession with multiples of 5 and 10.

And it always sounded like a kind of defensiveness: "Well, yeah, so, I'm the big Five-Oh, but I'm comfortable with it, really I am, see, I've got this club just to celebrate my fifty-ness..."

And I had never heard of it until last year either, when Oriental Trading started featuring a mysterious section of red hat-shaped trinkets.

[OldBroad]

I guess these ladies have a good time in their clubs and that's great, but I truly feel sorry for anyone over the age of 25 who needs peer approval to just let go and have fun.

Oh, well. I guess there's something for everyone.

[pinkfreud]

I don't begrudge these ladies their silliness. I've known several women (one of whom is younger than I am) who probably would have just stayed home drinking too much and feeling sorry for themselves after losing their husbands to death or divorce. Then they joined the Red Hat Society and got a little bit of genuine human pleasure back into their lives. These Red Hat groups give older women a feeling of belonging, and provide some structured fun. That is sometimes the only kind of fun these gals have, so I am not going to snoot at them.

[lorene]

After reading some of the comments about how these groups can provide some much-needed socialization for widowed or divorced women, , especially those comments written by Prancer and Jenny Haniver , I can see the benefit of such groups. I wish that there would be more options for older women, but I retract my earlier, more judgemental statement.

[Mirror Image egamI rorriM]

She's made a purse out of a red bra & purple ribbons. Seriously. It's kind of cute, until you look at it and realize, "Oh my lord, that is a heinous red bra that has been mercilessly resurrected as a purse!"


I have a heinous red bra that I would gladly donate--I wore it once and it was just too uncomfortable. However, it wouldn't make a purse. Possibly a cell phone holder or change purse.

Anyway, there is a huge amount of red hat memorobilia out there. I saw some particularly hideous purple fabric printed all over with glittery red hats. I know the point of the red and purple combo is that it doesn't go together, but still...bleah.

[DocCathode]

My mom is a member and I don't know why. Especially since she does fit the original intent of the poem. Many times has she told me the story of her protest of the lack of a breast feeding area in a store's bathroom. She decided that the bathroom was filthy and there was no way I was eating in there (I was less than a year old at the time. So switch your faces from skeevy to heartwarming). A saleswoman told her that if mom fed me out in the store, she'd get the manager. Mom said 'Get the manager. I want to talk to him'. She convinced him that the bathroom was unfit for breastfeeding and he let mom use his office to feed me.

More recently, back problems have required mom to use a cane. She was very unhappy with the standard metal model. She found a carved and loudly painted souvenir cane from Mexico. A friend whose father was in the fur trade covered a cane with ermine scraps. My sister painted another cane blue with white sea shells and gold starfish. The only metal cane she has left is brightly decorated with stickers.

I'm thoroughly confused as to why such a conformist and regimented group would appeal to her.

Besides which, she's a member of several mah jongg and canasta groups. She has friends, doesn't seem lonely. I don't understand it. She even bought some closoinne Red Hat pins (at a flea market, for a fraction of the original price).

Jay Jay Wait a minute. I know you can knit. Surely, you can sew a sampler.

Zoe That post reminds me of Betty. Mom and dad met her when they moved into a condo. I keep trying to get her to join the SDMB (where she would immediately gain the status of revered guru, and we'd all sit around and listen to her wisdom). But, besides other obstacles, she has no computer. She's definitely a salty old broad (though I'm sure she'd demand a membership shirt which said 'Salty Old Bitch'). She thinks it's a waste that the Red Hats haven't organized for any greater cause (raising funds for research for the many conditions elderly women get, organizing voters, etc) and that the whole thing seems to be an excercise in mindless conformity.


TomCat A 75 year-old woman in Prague? Isn't she supposed to spend her time telling folks in the neighborhood 'Yesterday, I saw a rusalka washing your clothes.' and coming up with new and better recipes for garlic pie?

Twickster Finally, a post that uses the word tchochke. It's been too long since I've heard somebody use that word.

[pravnik]

TomCat A 75 year-old woman in Prague? Isn't she supposed to spend her time telling folks in the neighborhood 'Yesterday, I saw a rusalka washing your clothes.' and coming up with new and better recipes for garlic pie?That, and having long conversations in public with her weiner dog.

[Casey1505]

I like the Red Hats. Mom loved that poem. She never belonged to any official society or anything like that, but then again, she never got to get old, either.

We put a copy of the poem in her coffin, and attatched the Red Had pin to her lapel.

[jayjay]

Jay Jay Wait a minute. I know you can knit. Surely, you can sew a sampler.

Especially considering that I used to cross-stitch, too. I actually do have a pattern for a cross-stitch of that poem somewhere in my mom's house...I'll have to go looking for it when we go up next month.

[Misnomer]

Heh! I love that poem. I've loved it since well before this whole Red Hat thing took off.Me, too! I came across a nice version of it in a knicknack store when I was in high school, and my mom bought it for me. (I don't care for the Red Hat Society stuff, but it doesn't bother me if it makes some old ladies happy.)

Did I miss a memo or is it just something that doesn't happen in Washington DC?Dude, I've seen handfuls of 'em at Metro stations in both DC and Virginia. :)

[Misnomer]

I was in high school, and my mom bought it for me.I meant to add that I'm now 33, and I still have it. :smack: :)






Hi, my name is Jenny, and I have a problem with smilies...

[Broomstick]

I liked the poem.

I liked the idea of older women getting out to have fun, even in purple dresses and red hats.

What's disgusting to me is that

1) What started as an encouragement for individuality and fun has started to turn in to peer-pressure clubs encouraging "correct" fun and discouraging what is seen as "inappropirate"

and 2) the rampant commercialization with all the red hat crap for sale now.

But in that sense it's no different than the proliferating knock offs of "live strong" bracelets, or the multiplying and mutating "ribbons" for various causes.

[swampbear]

Only if they dance fight- West Side Story style.
When you're a Red Hat
You're a Red Hat all the way
From your first blue hair rinse
Til your last dyin' day!

[yellowval]

I had a bad experience with a group of Red Hat Ladies once.
::shudders::
My husband and I were taking a tour of a historic home and, as usual, we were the youngest people on the tour (we're always the youngest people on those types of things, it seems). There was a group of Red Hat Ladies on the tour with us, and they were pushy, rude, and obnoxious. They walked around like those red hats gave them some sort of entitlement and made them better than the rest of us. I thought it sucked.
Of course, I'm sure not all Red Hat Ladies are like this (well, I certainly hope not). But this group really gave me a bad first impression of them.

Part of me can't help but suspect that whoever started this Red Hat Society thing is an evil genius who has devised a brilliant plan to rip off old ladies and take over the world. :dubious:

[Zsofia]

Oh, god, thank you. I cannot stand this red hat crap. I was at Wal-Mart last night for the first time in probably a year looking at hats and they were all red, and also ugly.

But what really sucks is that I, okay, yeah, I like to cross stitch and do various sorts of other needlework. And it's hard to find non-twee needlework, always has been. But since this Red Hat thing, the market's become poisoned beyond belief. You can't avoid it. It's everywhere. Drives me nuts.