Oral sex, WTF !!!TMI!!!

[PhoenixFire]

Ok so the thought occured to me while i was reading the thread on where the line between third and Home plate lay and it occured to me just how bizare oral sex was.

Personally i think that blow jobs are just wierd and don't actually feel all that good and the concept of it isn't all that arousing.

Now i have no problem going down on a woman, as a mater of fact i think that properally done, the reaction can be better than sex and i think it's only the proper progression before sex, something to be included into foreplay.

But i can't wrap my mind around BJ's My friends tell me it's because i've never had one properlly done, and i will admit my experiance is limited.

What everyone elses opinions on oral sex I'd like to here from all corners of the spectrum on this one.

[Harmonix]

uh, love em. I think you're going to be the odd duck out on this one.

Bike/cow town eh? UCD too?

[BadBadger]

Yep, can't imagine life without em personally..best if a) not too drunk, b) recently bathed and c) not tense about it. Damn fine stress reliever.

[Silentgoldfish]

Now i have no problem going down on a woman, as a mater of fact i think that properally done, the reaction can be better than sex and i think it's only the proper progression before sex, something to be included into foreplay.


Substitute blowjobs for "going down on a woman" and you've answered your own question.

[Corrvin]

Yep, can't imagine life without em personally..best if a) not too drunk, b) recently bathed and c) not tense about it. Damn fine stress reliever.

In category "recently bathed" also add "if you get overwhelmed by passion in the kitchen, make sure you wash the jalapeno juice off your hands."

Furthermore, see category "Painting is sexy but the taste of acetone transfers from skin to skin and doesn't come off without a good hard scrubbing."

Seriously, though-- Personally i think that blow jobs are just weird and don't actually feel all that good and the concept of it isn't all that arousing.

If I were dating someone who told me this, I'd take it for the truth. My stellar technique isn't going to overcome "weird" and "isn't all that arousing" and frankly, I wouldn't be comfortable doing something like that for MY benefit only. "You just haven't had the right one yet" is most true for things like "I always thought this would be much better, and the idea is great, but the performance is awkward and unsatisfying." Probably what I'd do instead is offer to drag out my amazin' footrub skills and turn them into a puddle of mush THAT way.

Corr

[Nava]

...going down on a woman, ... i think it's only the proper progression before sex...

You seem to be part of that strange school of thought which doesn't consider Oral Sex as Sex. You know, the people who think Ellen de Generes and George Michael are virgins?

For Hispanics, Italians and I'm sure many other groups, that makes you Real, Real Weird. But hey, your flagboy is a former US President, so you certainly aren't unique.

There ain't enough rolleyes in the world.




Where I come from (Spain), oral sex is "after" penetration. It's considered "advanced materials". I know quite a few women who gave their first wifely BJ as a second anniversary present; the first 69 would usually happen in six months to a year. Quite a few: over a dozen, and I don't talk sex at this level with every woman I know, ok? I also know about as many who never gave or received oral sex in over 20 years of marriage and one who gave and received on her wedding night (which was also her first penetration but not his).

[rexnervous]

I think you may be forgetting one thing - for many women (or head-givers, whatever the gender) it can be an incredible turn-on to give a blowjob. I know that's the fact with the woman I'm seeing - she absolutely loves it.

So who am I to complain? :)

And it works both ways - I find going down on a woman just plain hot.

Personally I think that oral sex is actually more intimate/trusting than regular intercourse.

[FriarTed]

. You know, the people who think Ellen de Generes and George Michael are virgins?



I think Ellen & George have both had hetero sex....

but not with each other. :D

[PhoenixFire]

Bike/cow town eh? UCD too?

yea davis, although thats gonna change soon.


Oh I've known for quite some time, thanks to the polite insistance of my friends, that i am "a very strange Duck."

But honostly I'm still open to the idea of it Oral sex being done too me, The two things that make me see it as weird are the facts that there isn't too much i can do while recieving. That makes me kind of fidgetty because personally, as i sat often, the best sex that can ever be had is when both parties are 100% focused on the others pleasure with no thought for their own.

The other reason is that yes the people from whom i've recieved from were both not very good. (Hey i may not like them but i understand the theory behind them very well.) One was just someone who couldn't be discribed as anything other than incompitent and the other didn't grasp the concept of taking time with whatever it is you do.

So yeah I think its strange, but thats just because my own philosophy find that lying, or sitting, while the other person does all the work seems very lazy and unfair. Now if the person LIKED giving head, and i seem to know a dissproportionate number who do, then who am i, or any other male for that matter, to deny her her pleasure especially with the chance i'll get something out of it too.

[Rashak Mani]

I've had GFs who didn't know how to give a good blowjob... one of them eventually became quite good at it... mostly because she enjoyed doing it so much... and the other I used NUTELLA. Yep... licking/sucking off Nutella makes any woman a great blowjober. Just put a bit and spread...

[RandomLetters]

Personally I think that oral sex is actually more intimate/trusting than regular intercourse.

I definatly agree with this - with regular intercourse, a man doen't have to worry about there being any teeth involved - baring the very rare case of vaginal dentata. :eek: :D

[Rashak Mani]

I definatly agree with this - with regular intercourse, a man doen't have to worry about there being any teeth involved - baring the very rare case of vaginal dentata. :eek: :D
That is why I tell my friends that are psychologists that they will never lack clients !

[Anaamika]

Well, I don't really like cunnilingus all the time, so I sympathize. It has to be done just right, and only at certain times, not all the time. I can understand...I think you just need to find someone who's a) really good at blowjobs, and b) willing to accomodate you whenever you ARE in the mood.

[Man With a Cat]

In general, a blow job is always an acceptable offering. You've heard the expression that "there's no such thing as a bad blow job"?

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Done poorly it's almost excruciating. She's got WANT to be doing, you've got to LOVE having it done, and she's got to be able to know or learn what you like or else you might as well fall asleep in front of the cat with tuna plastered on the old boy.

[AHunter3]

Agree with the OP and then some. Even the passing thought of someone putting my parts in their mouth is enough of a turnoff to bring things to a halt for awhile. I really don't like mouths that much. Kissing = OK (but even there I'm not into that deep-tongue thing, yecch!). Oral sex? Geccch!

[Thalion]

Ya know, guys who don't like blowjobs are kind of like Sasquatch . . . you hear about them occasionally, but you never expect to actually meet one! :)

Personally, I've never had a BJ I didn't enjoy. Some were much, MUCH better than others, but none were bad.

Of course, I might be exaggerating the memory a bit, since I haven't received one in about seven years or so. :(

[BadBadger]

there isn't too much i can do while recieving

I can think of plenty of things....

[PhoenixFire]

I can think of plenty of things....
I'm sure many people can, nobody feels like sharing, and i can't think of any (this being a very rare thing for me not to be able to find something to do with my hands :D

[Madd Maxx]

I think of it this way, a bad blowjob is still better than having to do it yourself. :) A good blowjob can be better than sex. Great sex, however is nigh untoppable. Maybe you just need to relax and enjoy it more. It sounds like you are too worried about finding something to "do" or to reciprocate. Just enjoy the ride as it were. You can return the favor later.

[QuickSilver]

Ummm..... (.) (.)

...Or are your arms unusually short?

[FaerieBeth]

<snip> things that make me see it as weird are the facts that there isn't too much i can do while receiving.

Um, a slight TMI warning for those who prefer not to have such things described for them...


Still here? Okay.
Things to do whilst receiving oral sex from a partner:
1) run your fingers through her hair
2) fondle her breasts
3) If you're lying on the bed while she's performing, have her turn so you can reach her for manual stimulation
4) perform oral sex on her concurrently
5) should your mouth not be occupied otherwise, be vocal and appreciative.

the best sex that can ever be had is when both parties are 100% focused on the others pleasure with no thought for their own.<snip>

Sex at your house must be very labor intensive. Do you have a union? The best sex, IMO, is when both partners are aware of each other enough to recognize that there are times when it's wonderfully relaxing to simply be on the receiving end, just as it's terribly gratifying to be on the giving end. Both do not have to occur at the same time, but turn about is fair play.

[pulykamell]

I also know about as many who never gave or received oral sex in over 20 years of marriage and one who gave and received on her wedding night (which was also her first penetration but not his).

Wow. Just wow. I could not live without oral sex. Call me shallow, but it would be a deal-breaker for me if my woman didn't perform it. (And, of course, I love performing oral sex on a woman.) I would actually say I enjoy it more than sex.

[Indygrrl]

I've never been much of a giver on the oral sex. I do it sometimes, but it's not part of my daily repetoire. I've told my fiance that I'll do it if he asks, but he never really pushes the issue. And he goes down on me just about every time we have sex. This has been the case with most of my sexual relationships. I'm just lucky, I guess.

[whiterabbit]

I'm not really into receiving, but my SO loves giving, so when he wants to I generally go along with it. I don't mind giving, though it's not really my favorite thing -- however, the reactions I get make it worthwhile. He LOOOOOOOOOOVES it.

[Mint Julep]

I am the odd duck the other way I guess, When I am in a committed relationship with a man, I love to give...much more than I love to receive.

The only time I like to have it done to me, is after a long bath...Cleanliness is a must for me to enjoy!

[PhoenixFire]

Sex at your house must be very labor intensive. Do you have a union? The best sex, IMO, is when both partners are aware of each other enough to recognize that there are times when it's wonderfully relaxing to simply be on the receiving end, just as it's terribly gratifying to be on the giving end. Both do not have to occur at the same time, but turn about is fair play.


True I guess, I can just relax and go with the flow, generally when i am told to. reciprocity ensues latter. Too many guys are focused on sex as a form of pleasure for them not the other tha ti have had some fairly dissapointed female friends.
I'm also slightly neurotic about longevity. I really am so focused not to finish before them that it borders on... i don't know something scientific...

In high school and college i (for reasons un known to me) was privy to almost all of my friends sex lives in detail. Too many of my female friends were complaining about not being satisfied at all that it kind of got beaten into my head

[devilsknew]

In preface, I find that BJ's feel good and I certainly don't think they are weird. However, they don't really do it for me.

I have only climaxed once from a BJ and that was after a very, very, prolonged session of oral sex and an almost unpleasant willing of the orgasm. I think they are very sexy, extremely pleasurable, and very arousing and I have had my fair share of them (all good), but it's official status in my book is stictly as foreplay due to my inability to climax from them. I don't believe it is psychological, but more a lack of friction and incomplete coverage.

[An Arky]

Same here. I love them, but don't climax from them. But boy does a good BJ torque me up for the main event!

[pulykamell]

Same here. I love them, but don't climax from them. But boy does a good BJ torque me up for the main event!

This is interesting. I've been very much the opposite. I come easily from BJs, but regular sex just goes on and on and on to the point I generally get numb and give up on the idea of coming. I mean, if I want to come from regular sex, it has to be within the first 15 minutes or else it just kinda stays hard, but gives up on climaxing. Hmm... Plus, I can only seem to come when I enter the woman from behind, or if she's on top.

[An Arky]

God, you're just weird! :D

Eh, everybody's butter melts a different way. It's all good!

[Meaty Beaty Big and Bouncy]

I know quite a few women who gave their first wifely BJ as a second anniversary present

When it comes to gifts, blowjobs are always the right size. ;)

[Asimovian]

Same here. I love them, but don't climax from them. But boy does a good BJ torque me up for the main event!I quote this merely because I'm certain I couldn't have said it any better myself. :)

Feels great, very much a turn-on, and I've felt myself thinking I was close at times, but never gotten there all the way.

Although, that could also be due to my wife's lack of desire to have population paste projected prodigiously at her pearly whites. :D

[PhoenixFire]

population paste projected prodigiously at her pearly whites. :D

bravo bravo you have made my day *hands asimovian a cookie*

[Larry Mudd]

But i can't wrap my mind around BJ's My friends tell me it's because i've never had one properlly done, and i will admit my experiance is limited.I think your friends are probably onto something.

I've known a couple of women who never quite managed to work it out, and with them I'd just as soon skip the whole thing.

A funny thing, because if a woman is totally put off by cunnilingus (and, believe it or not, I've met a couple of those, too) it's a total dealbreaker. Several breaks for a bit of oral are absolutely necessary. Unlubricated jimmies go a long way toward making this a mutually pleasant thing.

[Anastasaeon]

This is going to be way TMI. But here goes.

I enjoy giving it.. two guys who swore they'd never been able to orgasm with oral alone ("so don't bother trying to make me, it's okay sweetie, we'll just switch to regular sex when it's time") have blown up quite unexpectedly in my face. On repeated occasions.

My husband brags about his wife's "abilities" to his work buddies (argh). I'd love to say I know what I'm doing... I've watched many a porn, read many a manual, studied the classics and bought books on "erotic massage", combined them all and hoped it worked. It always works. But in the end, you know something? I don't truly know what I'm doing. However, I think the key is enthusiasm, communication, and a willingness to learn something new. I use my hands and breasts as well as my mouth, and not just on his penis. He, too, will often stroke my hair, or reciprocate in some way, though sometimes when I feel like giving him a real treat, I tell him to just lay back, put his hands behind his head, and let me work my magic. That usually involves a full body massage and can lead to some pretty intense orgasms. Sometimes oral sex just leads easily into regular sex, but it makes it more intense than just starting out "dry".
As for me being on the receiving end, again, the key is enthusiasm, communication, and willingness to learn. One guy I was with just seemed to know exactly what to do all the time... another guy actually tried that "licking the alphabet" trick, and though I tried to be kind, when he wouldn't listen to my suggestions about what I wanted, I just laid there and tried not to laugh - it tickled! My husband is a good man - he listens. He's always willing to learn.

Read about things you might like to try, then talk to your partner about it. For oral sex to be truly enjoyable, you must both enjoy it, as pretty much everyone here has already suggested. Some people may simply not enjoy it, ever. And that's fine, as long as you and your partner care for each other, and understand and respect each others sexual expectations. Communication: I highly recommend it. ;)

[phungi]

Things to do whilst receiving oral sex from a partner:
1) run your fingers through her hair
2) fondle her breasts
3) If you're lying on the bed while she's performing, have her turn so you can reach her for manual stimulation
4) perform oral sex on her concurrently
5) should your mouth not be occupied otherwise, be vocal and appreciative.


let us not forget:

6) SportsCenter

; )

[Telperien]

I prefer receiving oral to intercourse by a slim margin. I enjoy giving too, but I've not done it very often due to various factors. It would be just my luck, though, to start dating someone and hope to get a bit more practice in, and have him be someone who doesn't really care to receive. :(

[Oregon sunshine]

OMFG I cannot B-leev u do not like ORAL SEX!!!11!!!1!OMFGLOLROTFLMAO!!!!!1!11!1!

[BadBadger]

FaerieBeth took the words right out of my mouth, so to speak..

[Tamryne]

Maybe its just because the oral I have recieved has been clumsy and not that exciting (it was, dare I say, rather boring) but I have to add my vote to the not that into intercourse opinion. A nice sensual massage, on the other hand...

Ive never had anyone complain about my BJ's however, which is good I guess.

[Gfactor]

5) should your mouth not be occupied otherwise, be vocal and appreciative.





This is good advice for people of either sex who are getting serviced. A little feedback goes a long way. And a little gratitude doesn't hurt either. Nothing more boring for me than giving extended oral sex to someone who just sits there.

[taxi78cab]

If the real issue is that you can't just sit back and enjoy it, find a woman who first, enjoys giving blow jobs, and second, who would be willing to tie you up. If she ties you up, obviously she doesn't expect you to do anything. That's the whole point of tying someone up! It can be lots of fun to have a guy who's "helpless" and to be able to do anything you want to him. And, in turn, it frees you from worrying about what to do with your hands!

[Nava]

...there isn't too much i can do while recieving...

uhm, 69?

And at least for me, getting feedback is nice, whether it's on sexual techniques or my typing skills :p

[EarthStone777]

So yeah I think its strange, but thats just because my own philosophy find that lying, or sitting, while the other person does all the work seems very lazy and unfair.

I had a GF who was like that. Completely unable to relax and enjoy my going down on her... until I talked her into letting me tie her up during sex.

Instead of continuing with intercourse, I switched to oral and she had no choice but to lie there and enjoy it. 3 climaxes later she changed her mind and decided she liked it. And never again did she resist my offer of oral sex before intercourse.

I see on preview that taxi78cab had the same suggestion. (How'd I miss that before?)

... I will add that Mrs Stone often preferes 69 to simple cunnilingus because when concentrating too much, she can loose her arousal. Being distracted while working on me, sometimes allows her own climax to sneak up on her.

So obviously YMMV...

[PhoenixFire]

well thats a thought, I'll have to give it a try next time i'm active

[TokyoBayer]

I was in a similar situation as the OP, until I had a girlfriend who knew what she was doing. Wow. She didn't like to be reciprocated until we discovered that she hadn't had it done right either.

[Dunderman]

FaerieBeth took the words right out of my mouth, so to speak..
ggurl took them right out of mine.