2nd try, where does this philosophy idea come from.

[cosmosdan]

I'm trying to track down something more specific than my own paraphrasing.

Some time ago I heard a philosophy or teaching that stated something like

Each of us is actually three people.

How others see us
How we see ourselves
How we actually are.

Does anyone know where that concept come from?

[CateAyo]

its sounds related to the managerial premise contained in Johari's Window. Try a search on that term and see if it doesn't look familiar.

[pinkfreud]

Didn't Alan Watts express something similar in one of his Zen books?

[dotchan]

[ob anime hijack]

I vaguely remember this as a theme in Neon Genesis Evangelion. Possibly. Haven't seen the show in years, and don't care to refresh my memory.

[cosmosdan]

its sounds related to the managerial premise contained in Johari's Window. Try a search on that term and see if it doesn't look familiar.

There are similarities. Very interesting thanks.

[Saranga]

[ob anime hijack]

I vaguely remember this as a theme in Neon Genesis Evangelion. Possibly. Haven't seen the show in years, and don't care to refresh my memory.

It is almost verbatim from NGE (at least from the English translation), and destroying the barriers between those selves is the goal of the Human Instrumentality Project. Shinji encounters his "other selves" and is forced to deal with them.

In psychology, the closest thing I know of is Rogers' theories about self-concept, social self-concept and incongruence, but I am no expert and frankly I find NGE to be closer to the OP than anything else I've encountered ;)